charmed60 Posted June 18, 2011 Report Posted June 18, 2011 Thought I'd give you an update. I am still in a lot of pain from my wisdom tooth coming through but I have taken stronger pain killers for that. But I now have Iglu gel & wow, I was really surprised because it completely covers the ulcer unlike bonjela. So thank you for that advice xxx I'm really pleased it's worked for you There used to be an even better gel but that's been discontinued and Iglu is the best alternative I can find. Only thing I have problems with is trying to spread it on before the saliva makes it go all sticky haha! But it stops it rubbing for a few hours at least Hopefully the pain will go from the wisdom tooth soon; mine didn't last for very long! x
Zetti Posted July 4, 2011 Report Posted July 4, 2011 I have no idea why I get myself into these situations. I mean I know my boyfriend's mother hates me but I have tried to be the bigger person and rise above it but there is always something that she says that gets on my nerves & I cant help but snap at her which makes it worse because then I am living my boyfriend who is stuck in the middle of both of us. I dont even know why she hates me, she has just never liked me & nothing I ever do is bloody good enough. I cant do anything right. I am so sick of be painted as the bad person when all I want is for us to try & get along. I am at a loss as to what to do now, she refuses to explain and I dont know how to make it amicable again! I really need some advice!
HighwayUnicorn Posted July 4, 2011 Report Posted July 4, 2011 I know it will seem easy for me to say this, but don't take it personally. It's probably the case that every mother would feel like this & it wouldn't make a difference if it's you or another girl. It always seems that parents, mothers in particular, think that there is nobody out there good enough for their child/ren. I never believe it but my mum always says nobody would be good enough for me. It's not true but she's my mum & entitled to say it. No doubt, when I have my own, I'll say it to them. However, if your boyfriend is happy, then his mother should not be acting like this. If she has a problem with you, for whatever reason, she should put her feelings aside for the sake of your boyfriend. There's not a lot to do other than wait until she accepts you. In the mean time, be civil, but don't try to impress her. If she's not making an effort, then don't go over the top.
Zetti Posted July 4, 2011 Report Posted July 4, 2011 Thanks Carina. I know I shouldn't take it so personally but she seems to have some sort of agenda and grudge against me since we first met & I really dont know why but thanks for the advice, maybe being civil will work. I can try at least.
Miranda Posted July 5, 2011 Report Posted July 5, 2011 Zetti, as Carina says, its probably best to try not to take it personally. I don't think ANY mothers in law like their son's girlfriends/ wives, it just seems to be the way it is. Maybe dads don't like their daughters' boyfriends? What does your dad think, or your mum, about your boyfriend? I must admit I keep away from my in laws as much as I can. They just make me feel awful about myself so I decided why should I put myself through it all the time? so I avoid family parties now. Perhaps you could try and avoid her as much as possible. If possible
Zetti Posted July 5, 2011 Report Posted July 5, 2011 Thanks Miranda. I know I shouldn't take it so personally but it's been a constant thing for nearly a year hence my ask for help. & my parents love my boyfriend. I get on with his family apart from his mother who is determined to make life hard for us. Normally I would avoid her but it makes everything awkward between me and my boyfriend & I hate being in that position because I look like the unreasonable one which just gives her more ammunition.
Miranda Posted July 5, 2011 Report Posted July 5, 2011 Its always the way. The husband is loved and embraced by his in laws, the wife is treated with contempt and suspicion by her in laws. TBH when my daughter is grown up I'm going to drop my in laws like a hot potato. 20 years of being treated like a nothing is quite enough (although I suppose it'll be 40 years by the time she's grown up, argh!) I've tried everything but I'm no closer to the in laws, I've given up. I'm probably not helping but I don't think there's THAT much you can do about it
Zetti Posted July 5, 2011 Report Posted July 5, 2011 It's just everytime I try to come to a compromise. We both end up arguing & his mother always has to add her opinion & if I try to be civil. It is apparently forced! I give up. I cant do anything right!
Miranda Posted July 5, 2011 Report Posted July 5, 2011 Yes, some truths are unchangeable. I bet mothers in law have hated their daughters in law since the beginning of time... Like: however good your husband is, you always end up doing most of the childcare. And: it turns out to be easier if one parent stays at home to look after the kids and one goes out to work, rather than trying to both work part time.
Zetti Posted July 5, 2011 Report Posted July 5, 2011 Yes, some truths are unchangeable. I bet mothers in law have hated their daughters in law since the beginning of time... Like: however good your husband is, you always end up doing most of the childcare. And: it turns out to be easier if one parent stays at home to look after the kids and one goes out to work, rather than trying to both work part time. So true. It just drains me of all my energy, I am so sick of the tension and the constant arguments but I am not going to let it affect me anymore. I can't,
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.