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[Homeandawayfan.]

Fake friends and 2 faced "friends" are worse than enemies.

[pembie]

I have been feeling horrible for about a week now. This girl I have been seeing broke it off with me because she still likes her ex according to her we were never in a relationship anyways and asked if she could keep seeing me which I said no too I liked her though more than I realised I think She said she wants to be friends but hasn't spoke to me since. I have her on social media still we were meant to be going to the zoo on the 12th September so for some reason I'm hoping she asks about that before I cut ties with her completely

[Sunny Girl]

Relationships, any type of relationships are hard. Completely worthwhile, that is but very hard nontheless.

And I am not skilled at them. 

I should be, by now! Oh well. :/

In other news, I need to get up for work in three hours. This will be fun!!  

Not.

 

[Sunny Girl]

So. Somehow tonight I find myself catching up with one of my best friend's mates, who is under the impression that it's a 'date'.

****.

 

And I'm also catching up with another mate on Sunday too. One I haven't seen for years.

 

So that will be good.

[pembie]

22 hours ago, Sunny Girl said:

So. Somehow tonight I find myself catching up with one of my best friend's mates, who is under the impression that it's a 'date'.

****.

 

And I'm also catching up with another mate on Sunday too. One I haven't seen for years.

 

So that will be good.

Hope that you enjoyed your date even though it wasn't planned

[Sunny Girl]

I did. ?My best friend ended up bailing on us, which was probably planned between them so it ended up being me and this other guy.

 

I mixed my drinks tho, which wasn't too smart and I stupidly didn't eat anything.

So - I ended up waking up and throwing up.

 

Twice the fun.

[Wanderer101]

So umm... I'm not usually one to post about me, or my feelings, but I thought I'd give it a try. Sorry in advance if it sounds silly.

So I'm a 17 year old guy atm.
Basically, at the beginning of high school, when I was like 12 or 13 years old, in science class, we had to sit in alphabetical order, so I had to sit next to this 1 girl whose last name is alphabetically close mine. I didn't think anything of her for a few weeks, never spoke, but all of a sudden, one day, I began to develop immense feelings for her. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I was incredibly nervous to talk to her, but I did eventually. She was the first girl i ever had these feelings for.

Throughout all my high school years, I still had these immense feelings for her. We talked and stuff, and even then, I was still nervous talking to her. She knew I had feelings for her, but it wasn't reciprocated, which left me distraught of course. But I told her all I care about is being her friend, and it was fine for the time being. I of course still had feelings for her.

My feelings for her never got less, only more. It was never reciprocated, which I was regularly feeling absolutely terrible about. I honestly think it effected me more than most other people. I wont go into details, some examples, I would sit in my room crying a lot of the time, my personal life was effected in certain ways, etc.

Then eventually, in the HSC years, she got a boyfriend. That was just it. There's simply no way I could bear seeing her with another guy after all these years of being her friend and hoping one day, that she would reciprocate the feelings. So I simply left school, I quit. It may not seem like it, I'm giving a broad, quick explanation of what happened, but at the time, I seriously had to leave, I was at absolute bottom. So I quit, sat around for a few months pretty depressed, and eventually, went into TAFE to do early childhood education.

But the thing is, that was nearly one and a half years ago. I left when she got a boyfriend, and I still think about her every single day, a lot of the day, have dreams about her and what happened like every second night. And I've never been attracted to another girl since. Everytime I think about a potential relationship, I immediately compare it to the girl from school, and I'm terrified of liking another girl. So many things remind me of her, and I'm still so sad about it. Not as bad as when it first happened, since now I'm actually capable of doing something a part from sitting around for months, but I'm still so sad about it. She lives in my suburb, and I've seen her around a few times, and when I see her, I get an absolutely massive adrenaline rush, and kinda breathless. I know that sounds like an over reaction, but I honestly can't help that it's hit me this hard. I guess seeing her pretty much floods back bad memories of how I was at rock bottom or something, idk.

So yeah, that's basically a simple, quick explanation. Sorry if it sounds silly, but its my feelings of this that I definitely didn't choose.

[hward]

Sorry to hear that Wanderer, maybe part of why you feel like that is because nothing ever happened so you don't know if it could have worked out?  Like that's why you can't move on or think about another potential relationship because of this, if you'd been together and it didn't work out then you would have had the closure to move on?

My own issue right now is that I suffer from anxiety, and I have done for years, it's literally like my brain won't switch off.  I constantly either worry about the future, or I go over situations from my past in my head like they happened yesterday and I beat myself up for not having done things different, or wonder what might have happened if I'd done something different.

I was on the verge of starting something with someone recently - I'll say it was going to be a "relationship" for lack of a better word - and while we were talking and texting I felt good about myself for the first time in a long time.  This was a big thing for me because I was hurt before I have made a point of steering clear of anything like that for years, but now it turns out that he was just stringing me along in case it didn't work out with another girl.  So now I feel like I was a fool for trusting and believing him and my anxiety has come back to full force, going over what I should have done differently, or for not trusting my initial instincts about him.

So yeah, just not feeling very good right now, and it doesn't help that I'm just sooo tired from lambing time.  Maybe I'm just not meant to have any kind of relationship as people just seem to walk all over me.

[pembie]

3 hours ago, hward said:

Sorry to hear that Wanderer, maybe part of why you feel like that is because nothing ever happened so you don't know if it could have worked out?  Like that's why you can't move on or think about another potential relationship because of this, if you'd been together and it didn't work out then you would have had the closure to move on?

My own issue right now is that I suffer from anxiety, and I have done for years, it's literally like my brain won't switch off.  I constantly either worry about the future, or I go over situations from my past in my head like they happened yesterday and I beat myself up for not having done things different, or wonder what might have happened if I'd done something different.

I was on the verge of starting something with someone recently - I'll say it was going to be a "relationship" for lack of a better word - and while we were talking and texting I felt good about myself for the first time in a long time.  This was a big thing for me because I was hurt before I have made a point of steering clear of anything like that for years, but now it turns out that he was just stringing me along in case it didn't work out with another girl.  So now I feel like I was a fool for trusting and believing him and my anxiety has come back to full force, going over what I should have done differently, or for not trusting my initial instincts about him.

So yeah, just not feeling very good right now, and it doesn't help that I'm just sooo tired from lambing time.  Maybe I'm just not meant to have any kind of relationship as people just seem to walk all over me.

Well that was silly of him to string you along like that wasn't it..But if you look at it like this at least you had the time where you felt good about yourself again which proves that a relationship can happen for when the right person comes along. Who wouldn't want a farmer girlfriend anyways? Well I'm not so sure about the lambing because I'm scared of them But yeah just put this down to experience a experience where you felt good about yourself but we can't control other people's actions so don't blame or worry about not being good enough or anything like that because you are someone's dream girl..That was very cheesy way to finish haha

[hward]

Thanks pembie.  He started texting me this morning out of the blue - why do that all of a sudden when he's supposedly got a new girlfriend?  So now I don't know if he's trying to have his cake and eat it, so to say, because aside from the whole thing that never was, I wouldn't say we were friends who'd text for the hell of it.  And now my brain is trying to over-analyse everything.  And I was never very good at this sort of thing in the first place so it feels like I'm doing it blind.  Ah, sheep are much easier to understand than people.