Where Do You Go...? (by Eli) - comments

[sevenpuddings]

"Please don't let that light disappear," she whispered to the ocean. She had a feeling that light needed to be there for everything to be all right.

I just wanted to cry when I read those lines. They were haunting yet beautiful, and I can't get over the feeling of emptiness you're words create in me. Such wonderful imagrey and empathy!

The light was still there, and she kept watching it.

No, tonight she was definitely not going back at all.

And bringing it back to the light. Is it wrong to want to hug Jade and tell her she's not alone? This story is so captivating and dark, and angsty (I love the angst) and so different to most others on this board! I cannot wait to read more!

[Eli]

Thank you very much (maybe I should start writing all my fanfics without planning, and with only caffeine keeping me awake )

I don't know how long it will be, but I'm guessing around 5 or 6 chapters. I have an ending, I just need to fill out with some stuff between now and the ending.

I was a bit afraid people would think I was emo or something when I wrote the second chapter, so I'm very glad you like it.

And no, feel free to hug her as much as you want (I can post a screencap you can hug, even though I must warn you: It might hurt when you hug your screen!)!

[Skykat]

One word...Wow!

That was stunning Eli, absolutely stunning. That introduction about googling lonely got me straight away and the emotion...like Jess said I wanted to hug her. i almost felt breathless when she had her asthma attack. Fantastic writing, really loved it.

[Eli]

Thanks

[I love music]

Waves, ocean, salt water and dark clouds.

..and breathe in the cool and cleansing air, brought to her by the thousands of lonely winds from the Pacific ocean

Her tears fell into the water, and the ocean kept it, but no one would ever be able to track them down and find them in all the water.

These are some of the reasons I enjoy reading your stories so much, Eli. Beautiful descriptions. And you really felt Jade's pain. Great writing!

[Eli]

Waves, ocean, salt water and dark clouds.

..and breathe in the cool and cleansing air, brought to her by the thousands of lonely winds from the Pacific ocean

Her tears fell into the water, and the ocean kept it, but no one would ever be able to track them down and find them in all the water.

These are some of the reasons I enjoy reading your stories so much, Eli. Beautiful descriptions. And you really felt Jade's pain. Great writing!

Thank you very much, and thank you for recommending my stories!

I also read your review from fanfiction.net, and I know what you mean. I realized paragraphs had to be separated by two paragraph spaces instead of one, but I didn't bother to change it because I was mad at the website (I like this one better)

[Skykat]

Wow that was great. Poor Jade, her torment is so realistically wrote and your description is amazing yet again. Loved how the conversations were going on around her I could almost hear her detachment. Great writing.xx

[sevenpuddings]

It could be five minutes, an hour or a week. Time disappeared when the seagulls screamed and the waves sang about secrets and loneliness.

Your imagery is AMAZING. Stunning, fantastic, so bittersweet and so lonely! This story is so moving, so descriptive, so dark and angsty, unlike few I've read before. You keep me completely captivated as I'm drawn into what Jade is feeling. Amazing work.

[Eli]

Thanks, you guys are making me blush

I THINK the next chapter will be the last one... But I won't be able to update tomorrow because I'm going to the Christmas Dance and will probably spend all afternoon getting ready. You know, three girly girls who are best friends, beautiful dresses, mirrors, make up and a dance coming up... It'll take all day to get ready

Edited December 18, 2006 by Eli Roenning

[I love music]

Time disappeared when the seagulls screamed and the waves sang about secrets and loneliness.

I know someone else picked out that line, but I've just got to as well. Absolutely beautiful, Eli. As is this:

...trying to get rid of the hollow and distant voice her silent conversations with the ocean gave her.

I loved the dialogue too, especially that last line:

...the only thing she could think about was the next thing she was going to ask the ocean;

”Maybe I’ll always be Jade, the question is Jade Who?"

Great writing, Eli!