The LOL thread

[Cerise]

ROFLMAO

Sorry, that was excellent...

A friend of mine from Ohio in the States e-mailed me this this morning...

DORMITORY:

When you rearrange the letters:

DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:

When you rearrange the letters:

BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:

When you rearrange the letters:

MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:

A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:!

When you rearrange the letters:

THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:

When you rearrange the letters:

HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:

When you rearrange the letters:

HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:

When you rearrange the letters:

CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:

When you rearrange the letters:

IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:

When you rearrange the letters:

LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:

When you rearrange the letters:

ALAS! NO MORE Z'S

A DECIMAL POINT:

When you rearrange the letters:

IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:

When you rearrange the letters:

THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:

When you rearrange the letters:

TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:

When you rearrange the letters:

WOMAN HITLER

LMAO! That made my day! My favourite is the Desperation and the Mother-In-Law one

[Formerly Known as FKAJ]

On the subject of anagrams, these were a bunch of anagrams that an over-alert Lost viewer discovered, which apparently foreshadow Season Seven, the Zombie Season:

EZRA JAMES SHARKINGTON = HINT JAKE GRAZES ON ARMS

(Ezra James Sharkington is the shark that attacked Michael and Sawyer in the second episode of Season 2, according to the Podcast. Jake refers to Jacob)

KATE AUSTEN = KATE ATE SUN

CINDY CHANDLER = CHILDREN CANDY

(Cindy being the flight attendant that was kidnapped by the Others in Season 2.)

DAMON LINDELOF CARLTON CUSE = UNDEAD ON FILM OR CANCEL LOST

[Barbara]

Someone sent me this.

IKEA is going to sell cars:

[Eli]

Haha, funny stuff! The blonde police officer joke reminded me of another joke I heard a while ago.

A blonde was getting realy tired of all the blonde jokes, so in order to avoid them and get smarter she decided to dye her hair. She went to the hairdresser and dyed her hair brown, and on her way back from the hairdresser, she decided to check if she really had become smarter, now that she was a brunette.

To find out she pulled over and walked up to a farm, where a farmer was standing in a field, surrounded by sheep.

"Farmer, if I can guess the exact amount of sheep you have here, can I pick one sheep to take home?" the blonde asked. The farmer though this was a pretty unusual request, but he decided to give her a sheep if she could guess how many there were.

After staring at the sheep for a minute or so, the blonde turned to the farmer again.

"I think there are 250 sheep in this field," she said.

The farmer was shocked, but had to admit that she was correct, and he asked her to pick out a sheep.

The blonde carefully chose an individual and was carrying it back to her car when the farmer followed her.

"But if I can guess your natural haircolour," the farmer asked, "Will you then give me back by dog?"

[Formerly Known as FKAJ]

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd... "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answered "sure".

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 130-page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep. "That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.

Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?", "OK, why not." answered the young man. "Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd. "That's correct." says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business...... Now give me back my dog."

[rachel&kim]

I'm watching The Big Fat Quiz of the Year - 2007, screened at the end of every year in England. So funny. All on youtube if anyone wants to watch it. Especially as it has two of my heroes, Noel Fielding and Russell Brand. Stuffed full of laugh out louds!

[KaitieL]

One of my friends sent me a few emails the other day. I thought they were funny.

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative

2. Preliminary

3. Proliferation

4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity

2. Anti-constitutionalistically

3. Passive-aggressive disorder

4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. No thanks, I'm married.

2. Nope, no more booze for me!

3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.

4. Doner Kebab? No thanks, I'm not hungry.

5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?

6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.

7. I'm not interested in fighting you.

8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!

9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this car park or on the side of the road.

10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.

Nine words women use...

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before doing what she asked you to do.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.Then you RUN!

Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true.

[Formerly Known as FKAJ]

I love this extract from Bill Bryson's "Down Under:"

John Howard is by far the dullest man in Australia. Imagine a very committed funeral home director - someone whose burning ambition from the age of eleven was to be a funeral home director, whose proudest achievement in adulthood was to be elcted president of the Queanbeyan and District Funeral Home Directors' Association - then halve his personality and halve it agin, and you pretty well have John Howard.

[13max13]

^^ ouch to John!

Well i found out that my cousin (who is a stripper in a shady club in the Cross- i'm not ashamed! ) is going out with my teacher....it is seriously weird. I had to have this full on chat with him the other day about how its inappropriate to tell anyone and that it should stay as quiet as possible

And they have been going out for like a month now. And my cuz tells me all these things about him. For example: he shaves his chest hair and he is a fan of Star Wars! Its impossible to keep a straight face in history!! I can't even look at him without bursting into laughter

[KaitieL]

The door handle on our toilet is broken and you can't open it from the inside. My son locked my husband in there this morning, he turned his back and bam Will slammed the door shut. I was still asleep at the time and woke up to my name being screamed out and a screaming toddler. Lol, i just PMSL - Matt can be so stupid sometimes.