The LOL thread

[Cal]

I have another London story! We were at the Russel Square tube station, which has an elevator down to the platforms, and while we're waiting for the elevator (this was on the fourth day, and we took that elevator like five times every day) and my friend says "But are we at the right elevator? Are we going up or down?"

Lol! Actually, I went to a shopping centre in New York 6 or 7 years ago. Some elevators only went to certain floors. And they weren't even labelled! It was stupid. And I don't know who came up with the idea, but they were evil.

Oh, there was something that I laughed at a couple of years ago. My friends and I were walking back from the beach, and D said something untrue to R, and R said "Actually, D, For your FYI..." You totally had to be there.

[Frogg]

Ok I have a sort of funny story. I was at work the other day and the guy who sits ext to me was trying to annoy me and kept throwing bits of paper at me trying to get them to go down my clevage. I was getting really cheesed off because they kept hitting me in the face and he kept telling me to keep my boobs still while I was typing. Eventually I'd had enough and yelled, "CHRIS MY BREASTS ARE NOT A BASKETBALL COURT!!!". Typically that was the moment that the whole office had fallen silent and I looked up to find 30 people and my boss all staring at me looking bewildered.

[monkeysmoke]

Ok I have a sort of funny story. I was at work the other day and the guy who sits ext to me was trying to annoy me and kept throwing bits of paper at me trying to get them to go down my clevage. I was getting really cheesed off because they kept hitting me in the face and he kept telling me to keep my boobs still while I was typing. Eventually I'd had enough and yelled, "CHRIS MY BREASTS ARE NOT A BASKETBALL COURT!!!". Typically that was the moment that the whole office had fallen silent and I looked up to find 30 people and my boss all staring at me looking bewildered.

haha that's funny. My tits are not a basketball court. haha cracked me up

[carmelle]

Ok I have a sort of funny story. I was at work the other day and the guy who sits ext to me was trying to annoy me and kept throwing bits of paper at me trying to get them to go down my clevage. I was getting really cheesed off because they kept hitting me in the face and he kept telling me to keep my boobs still while I was typing. Eventually I'd had enough and yelled, "CHRIS MY BREASTS ARE NOT A BASKETBALL COURT!!!". Typically that was the moment that the whole office had fallen silent and I looked up to find 30 people and my boss all staring at me looking bewildered.

^^

Here's something I got in an e-mail. I found it quite funny.

The Women's Dictionary

Women's use of the English language defined for the confused man.

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows!) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows) This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools of f.

LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD! At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not ! faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have of fended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

[Formerly Known as FKAJ]

Winners of the "Worst Analogies Ever Written In A High School Essay" Contest:

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 PM instead of 7:30.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to accessT:flw. quid55328. com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw. quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man. "

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 PM. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 PM. at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two humming birds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon

[adelle]

^ Those are so funny!!

[zzazzb]

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

how descriptive...

those are great, might just use some ... or not;

[whispered_envy]

Here are some random things that were said when my group were on our Schoolies holiday...for some we were drunk, others we were very, very sober!

“You should have seen Tanya from the back when she was thrusting!”

“I refuse to thrust into the light!”

“It’s not cheating if I’m married to you… all.”

“Let’s make him cry!”

“I ran away when she started attacking Bonnie in her mouth!”

“It’s funny coz the splurge time came sooner than I expected.”

“My legs are itchy, we’re probably allergic to something in this apartment”

”It’s probably asbestos”

“Tanya’s falling over!!! Oh, not she’s not… she’s dancing…”

“I have an ulcer, that’s what it is! Oh… it’s just food. Never mind.”

“Tanya, why did you make me get into that bath?”

“Why don’t you want that guy from Hunchbax?”

”He doesn’t wear dresses!”

“It’s always more surreal watching yourself do it”

“I know you don’t like it, but please just learn to flash.”

Reading them back is making me cry with laughter...oooohhhh...you probably had to be there!

[monkeysmoke]

“Tanya’s falling over!!! Oh, not she’s not… she’s dancing…”

haha.

Poor old Tanya, got most of the blame there I feel.

OK so I was at work today (joy) and giving a presentation to a group of kids, but there spellings not great so I started typing it onto the computer and using the projector to make it come out big on the board so they could copy it.

One student yells out "You've got very lovely handwriting"

To which the boy sitting next to him, without missing a beat replied "Its on the computer you knob"

Another one of those had to be there type of things I guess. It made me crack up in hysterics at the time

[zzazzb]

To which the boy sitting next to him, without missing a beat replied "Its on the computer you knob"

thats gold how old were they?!