Formerly Known as FKAJ Posted November 12, 2011 Report Posted November 12, 2011 An amusing extract from the TVTropes character sheets for Mahou Sensei Negima While at age ten he's a top-tier battle mage, going up against ridiculously strong fighters, and his real talent is said to be off the battlefield, in spell theory and languages, consider this: * Fighting an evil vampire-mage with a robot bodyguard? Kiss Asuna. * Fighting an army of demons? Kiss Setsuna. * Beginning to petrify? Kiss Konoka. * Fighting a computer-virus/database attack/online war from the future? Get kissed by Chisame. * Allies scattered across the world? Kiss Asakura. * Fighting the World's Strongest Man? Have Theodora kiss you. * Chachamaru worries she may not have a soul? Kiss her. ** It doesn't work? Kiss her harder! * Asuna may not be Asuna? Kiss Asuna again. * Lacking firepower for the next battle, with low morale amongst the civilians, and the romantic tension isn't thickening fast enough on its own? Kiss Ako, Yuna and Makie. If you ever find yourself asking "What will Negi do now?", just consult this handy flowchart. And to conclude this lengthy tangent, it must be pointed out that overcoming every obstacle you face by taking the nearest girl and unleashing her powers constitutes whoring on at least two levels.
xGlowingAngelx Posted June 17, 2012 Report Posted June 17, 2012 I've been a little bored today, so I found these on a Twitter page. Some of you may have already seen them. They're not jokes, as such, but they are quite amusing. (Or maybe I'm just too easily amused.) - Who says I can't cook? You've obviously never tasted my cereal. - Anyoneknowwhatthatlongthingatthebottomofthekeyboardisfor? - Simon says Jump. Simon didn't say Land, you're all out. (I SO want to do that at a Children's birthday party. Does that make me a terrible person?) - On a scale of 1 to Adele..... How tough was your break up? - I'd jump in front of a bus for you.... as long as it's not moving. - My Friend falls, I laugh... My Phone falls, I panic..... (That's so true! ) - I hate people who say age is just a number..... Age is clearly a word. - Twitter: The only place where you get excited when a Stranger follows you.... - I bought a Dog once. Named him 'Stay' "Come here, Stay." He's insane now. - I got kicked out of the Zoo today for feeding the Ducks..... to the alligators. - Broccoli: "I look like a Tree." Walnut: "I look like a Brain." Mushroom: "I look like an Umbrella." Banana: "Dude! Change the Topic...." - Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes. - Never do I feel as lazy and rude as when someone else in the room is Vacuuming. (That's SO true!!) - TEIAM....Problem Solved! - What the hell is up with "Fun Size" Candy? There's nothing fun about less Candy! - I found a Butterfly on the ground that had no wings. So I poured some RedBull on it and BAM..... It drowned. - I have a friend named Jay..... We call him J for short. - Whenever you're feeling down, remember: Today, you broke your own personal record of Days without dying! - *Police Officer walks up to me* Police: Where were you between 4 and 6? Me: Kindergarten. - Apparently, Twilight is "so popular" because Teenagers can relate to it. Oh yeah, I remember that time when I was a Vampire.... - Are your kids still wetting the bed? Get them an electric blanket..... They will learn. - My Mum told me to follow my dreams, so I took a nap. - Dear Board of Education...... so are we. - I'm not as random as you think I Salad. - Math problem: Jane bought 72 Sofas..... Who the HELL would buy 72 Sofas?! - Police Officer: How high are you? Me: No Officer, it's "Hi, How are you?" - I wish I had Parents like Dora's..... They let that kid go everywhere! - Dad: A little Bird told me you're on Drugs. Me: You're talking with Birds and I'm the one on Drugs?!" - How to trick a Blonde: Click here for more. - "I love Eminem" "I like Skittles better." "No, the rapper, you idiot...." "You're the idiot. What's so good about an M&M wrapper?" ... That's enough. There were a couple more that were hilarious, but they weren't really appropriate for a family-friendly forum, LOL. Some Jokes: - Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours, they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left." So they turned around and went home. - How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Tuesday. - A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, Mary, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'" Sally raised her hand and said, "My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated." The teacher said, "Good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'" Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Johnny was notorious for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate," so she called on him. Johnny said loudly, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons." The teacher said, "That was good, Johnny. However, you did not use the word 'fascinate' in your sentence." Little Johnny continued, "But her boobs are so big, she can only fasten eight!" - Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper - A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!" -
Dingo x Posted June 20, 2012 Report Posted June 20, 2012 Anger management class PISSES ME OFF! It has never stopped surprising me how exhausting it is to do nothing all day. That awkward moment when I'm drunk and you're still ugly. "Dude, I have something really funny to tell you!!!" *Adult walks into room* .."I'll tell you in a minute.." *Types in password* ‘Incorrect password’ *Types in password again* ‘Incorrect password’ ARE U FRIGGIN KIDDING ME THAT IS MY….-Oh..Caps Lock Dinner is ready! " "Okay, Coming!" *Stays on the computer* "DINNER IS READY!" "I SAID I AM COMING!!!" The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn't even apply for a job. My therapist says I have an obsession with revenge. We'll see about that. Me: "Heyyyyyyyy........" Friend: " Hi....." Me: "Well fck you then." Remember the time i told you that you were cool? I lied. Laundry teaches kids racism. Chris Brown and I have a completely opposite understanding of the phrase "I'd hit that" Running up the stairs in fear because you feel an evil presence behind you. Your joke was really funny, but I do not like you, therefore I shall not laugh. Running up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way. I laugh at my own texts before i send them because im that damn funny. Spongebob: Can you hear me Patrick? Patrick: No, its too dark We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself. Fast way to **** up someones Knock Knock joke? "It's open." (LOVE doing that ) Whenever you're feeling down, remember, you're the sperm that won.
xGlowingAngelx Posted June 20, 2012 Report Posted June 20, 2012 True stories of what has happened in life, by the way. So I just thought I'd post these: Me: The awkward moment when it's Chris Brown Vs Rihanna on the music channel. Friend: Did he beat her again? Teacher: If I have 10 One Direction tickets, and I take 2 from you, what do you have? Me:10, and YOU have a broken arm. LOL!! That'd be me with Chocolate bars. LOL.
Dingo x Posted June 24, 2012 Report Posted June 24, 2012 Me: "Hey I just met you-" Stranger: *Walks away* Me: "Now you're just somebody that I used to know!"
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