>>Emma<< Posted February 17, 2007 Report Posted February 17, 2007 2 chapters for me to read They were both fab, Emma is so sweet. That last chapter made me laugh out loud! Please update soon, great chapters.
vale4eva Posted February 17, 2007 Report Posted February 17, 2007 Wow that was great! And Marthas finally arrived. Wonder if she'l make an apearance at the party. Probably not, shes too wussy for that Aww, i could just picture Jack and Emma dancing together...so cute Alf was great aswell, what an A-class liar! If i ever need tips on lieing, i know who to go too! Looking forward to the next chapter
Jacksthehottest Posted February 19, 2007 Report Posted February 19, 2007 I think i havn't commeneted on here in a long time. All excellent chapters though. Can't wait for Jack's reaction when he sees Martha, please update soon
puja Posted February 25, 2007 Report Posted February 25, 2007 Thanks to Nicole for proof-reading Chapter 7 Martha had already been at the Caravan Park for a couple of hours now and had surprisingly settled in quite nicely. She had spent the first hour or so nursing Alf and catching up with him. When she first got there, Alf was sat on the sofa with his right, plastered leg resting on the coffee table. Although she knew it was wrong to do so, Martha couldn’t help but laugh at her grandfather’s predicament. She knew he was in pain and sympathised with him whole-heartedly but, with his constant agitation, restlessness, moaning and groaning, anyone would think he’d spent five rounds in the ring with Mike Tyson. After a long awaited and much needed chat, Martha helped Alf upstairs to get some rest whilst she unpacked. The house, which consisted of two teenagers and a toddler, was pretty quiet for an evening. Alf had mentioned to Martha that Ric, Cassie, Sally and little Pippa were all invited to some birthday party. He also pointed out in passing that she too was invited, but Martha was thankful to Alf for declining on her behalf. Even though she was excited and looking forward to seeing everyone, Martha was secretly appreciative of the lack of persons at the house- she wanted to get accustomed and become familiar with her surroundings before everyone started to make a fuss. Sure, this was still Summer Bay; the same Bay where she had spent her teenage years but, things had changed so much. Martha had expected some variation but as she was driving up, a touch of naivety had consumed her and the magnitude of the actual changes had hit her quite hard. Just in passing, she noticed big differences in the decor of the Diner, the Surf Club and even her old High School; Summer Bay High. Martha couldn’t wait for the morning- she wanted to check out her old haunts’- the places that she would go to get away from problems or just to have a great time. The same places where she would never go on her own because he would always tag along too- whether he was invited or not. He. Jack. Martha shook her head violently in an attempt to forget about him; but it was too late. Once Jack Holden was in her mind, it was always a task to remove him from there. She smiled outwardly. Just the thought of his name made her smile, so what was she going to be like once she saw him face-to-face? Martha wasn’t even sure if he still lived in the Bay. She wanted to ask Alf on numerous occasions when they spoke on the phone- just about his well-being- but whenever she found the nerve to do so, it would let her down; at the thought of Tina. Martha knew that if he was still living here that she would come across him and would therefore have a lot of explaining to do. She wasn’t sure how to handle that probable situation right this minute but, one thing she was definitely sure about; she had missed her best friend. ************************************************************************ (The next morning) Jack growled in dismay as he slowly began to wake. He sat upright on his bed as the naked, upper half of his body basked in the sunlight. Rubbing his eyes vigorously, he tried to recollect his actions from the night before. Failing to remember anything substantial or significant, he picked up his navy blue robe from the floor, wrapped it around himself and exited his bedroom. Making his way ever so slowly down the stairs, Jack clutched the left side of his head, “awww” he moaned, “how did I manage to consume so much alcohol at an 8-year-olds party?” he mumbled to himself, shutting his eyes for a few moments whilst making his way groggily towards the kitchen. “Well I don’t think it’s the amount you drank at the party that you need to take into consideration” Lucas laughed, helping himself to another bowl of cornflakes. Jack looked up in surprise. He wasn’t expecting anyone to reply, especially because he thought he was on his own. “It was a rhetorical question,” Jack glared at Lucas who seemed to be enjoying his suffering, “and who invited you to eat my breakfast, at my house, using my cutlery? Doesn’t Dad feed you? Anyway, what do you mean you don’t think it’s the amount I drank at the party?” asked Jack as he poured himself a mug of coffee and sat opposite Lucas. “Hey, hey, what’s with all the questions?” said Lucas defensively putting both his hands in the air, “but seeing as though you asked so nicely, I shall answer them all” he grinned. “Firstly, since when do I need an invitiation to eat breakfast at MY brother’s house?” he mocked, mimicking Jack’s emphasis on the word ‘my’, “Secondly Dad does feed me when I’ve been on good behavior but, we ran out of milk so I came here and helped myself and number three, don’t you remember Leanne’s mum, Sarah from last night?” Lucas asked. “Leanne…Leanne’s mum? Sarah?” Jack stumbled as he scratched his head, “oh god! Leanne stayed over here last night with Emma, they’re late for school” Jack shouted as he shot up from his seating position and was about to call out for Emma until Lucas cut in. “Sit down dumbass” Lucas said with a mouthful of cornflakes, “Beth took pity on you when she saw your state so she took them to school”. “Ooh” Jack sighed in relief, returning to his seat, “remind me to thank her”. Lucas nodded, “so, what exactly happened with me and Sarah yesterday?” queried Jack, dreading hearing something embarrassing. “Don’t you remember?!” mocked Lucas, “you do know that because you don’t remember anything, I could tell you whatever the hell I wanted and you’d have no choice but to believe me!” he continued to joke. Jack gave him ‘the stare’; the death stare. “But because I’m nice, I shall not do that!” Lucas said hurriedly, rectifying his mistake of getting into Jack’s bad books in this current mood. “Basically, Sarah was coming onto you all night. She was dancing, like on top of you! I swear she thought she was in the musical ‘Dirty Dancing’ and not at her daughter’s friend’s birthday party. Jack looked at Lucas with horror sketched all over his face, “don’t worry, it gets better” Lucas continued, “oh, well I thought it did. I wanted you to tell me. See, I don’t just come over here for breakfast, I come to get the latest gossip too” he said, laughing hysterically. “Stop sounding like a member of Colleen’s Bowls’ Team and tell me what the hell you’re going on about?” Jack said sternly. “You honestly don’t remember?” Jack shook his head, “ok, I’ll do my best to fill in some of the blanks but then you’re on your own. After the party, Sarah ‘escorted’ you out the house and you disappeared for a couple of hours. You rolled in at some godly hour this morning and…well, that’s all I know” stated Lucas. A long silence then proceeded as Jack tried to mentally retrieve all the shenanigans of the previous night. “I just hope I didn’t make a complete ass of myself” Jack sighed aloud whilst getting up. “Where are you going now? To go see Sarah for seconds?!” Lucas smugly remarked. “Well Mum, I’m going to get my surfing gear and then head to the beach to wake my self up properly if that’s ok?” Jack said, returning the sarcasm. “Whatever!” Concluded Lucas- having the last word- as he once again went back to paying full attention to his breakfast. ************************************************************************ Martha looked out towards the sea. She found the perfect spot and had been sat there for well over an hour now. Not once removing her eyes from the crashing waves, she caressed the silky sand with her fingertips. Martha had always enjoyed the tranquil atmosphere of the beach; even if the beach was booming with people, like it was now. But, she felt like she was the only one gracing it. The morning had proven to be quite chaotic. When Martha had made her way downstairs for breakfast, a small crowd had gathered; awaiting her arrival. There was Alf, Sally, Pippa, Ric, Cassie and, of course, Colleen Smart. Sally had even gone to the effort of preparing a special brunch which Martha appreciated immensely. Brunch went by pretty smoothly and Martha was able to dodge awkward questions- questions she knew she would have to answer soon, but just not quite yet. Martha could sense Colleen’s disappointment at her ‘boring’ responses but, she would rather disappoint than try to evoke sympathy- that’s not what she was about. From the corner of her eye, Martha’s attention was caught by an individual running out of the water with a surf board under his arm. The person was several hundred meters away from her and Martha couldn’t see his face properly but, it was his constant slapping of his own head that made her notice him. She chuckled to herself laughing at the man’s plight, ‘must have had a few too many’ she thought to herself as she looked away. Jack continued to towel himself down. Although the surf had done him some good, he still couldn’t remember what had happened with him and Sarah. He scolded and cursed himself repeatedly, put down his board and picked up his t-shirt. Just as he was about to put his arms through the sleeves of his t-shirt, Jack noticed a lonely figure sat on her own in the distance. The wind suddenly picked up as Jack watched the figure trying to control her chocolate brown hair from succumbing to the element. The woman had managed to win the battle with the wind as she quickly tied her hair back. It was then that her face became more apparent, “I still must be drunk” Jack whispered in utter disbelief, “either that or that’s McKenzie” he said, losing his awareness and dropping his t-shirt on the sand.
Nicom Posted February 25, 2007 Report Posted February 25, 2007 Brilliant! Loved it! You need to update REALLY soon though. As in, REAL soon! I love it! You're not drunk! It's MacKenzie! (How do you spell MacKenzie btw, I think I usually spell it MacKenzie.. but I think I've been getting it wrong.. lol.) Lucas and Jack made me laugh!
baby gurl Posted February 25, 2007 Report Posted February 25, 2007 I agree with Nicole about all of it especially updating!!! That was brilliant....Luc was sooo funny... Nicole I spell it the same way you do...So Puja does that mean they are going to meet next chapter? Update soon....xx
linzie_mac01 Posted February 25, 2007 Report Posted February 25, 2007 That was great! Poor Jack, serves him right though for getting drunk, but i hope he didn't do anything too bad. i hope Lucus was just winding him up
vale4eva Posted February 25, 2007 Report Posted February 25, 2007 Brilliant! Loved it! You need to update REALLY soon though. As in, REAL soon! I love it! What she said I cant belive you left it there! Thats just totally mean! I really want to know what happens next. In my head it goes something like this, he drops the t-shirt and a half naked Jack starts running towards Martha (water droplets drip off his naked torso, hmmmm), Martha jumps up and starts running towards Jack, everything turns into slow motion, (think of baywatch! ) They suddenly reach eachother and then........i wont carry on cause i have to remember this is a forum for all ages! Im sure you get my drift though. But I just couldnt help but think of baywatch when i read that last line Excellent writing yet again! Please update soon
beckyboo Posted February 25, 2007 Report Posted February 25, 2007 Well Jack you could still be drunk but you aint seeing things not like I do It is indeed Miss McKenzie:P Puja update soon NOW
>>Emma<< Posted February 25, 2007 Report Posted February 25, 2007 In my head it goes something like this, he drops the t-shirt and a half naked Jack starts running towards Martha (water droplets drip off his naked torso, hmmmm), Martha jumps up and starts running towards Jack, everything turns into slow motion, (think of baywatch! ) They suddenly reach eachother and then........i wont carry on cause i have to remember this is a forum for all ages! Rachel (is it ok for me to call you that? ) you make me laugh. That is a good thing by the way I hope Jack isn't planning on getting with Sarah, he needs to save all his love for Martha! And he is not seeing things! It is indeed Martha. Aww no Emma in that chapter I can't wait until her plan is in action. It's going to be so adorable to read....whoa getting ahead of myself there. They haven't even met yet! Update soon, can't wait for more!
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