What A Difference A Decade Makes

[sarahandkatie]

CHAPTER 11

' Hey, what are you doing here?' Rachel Arnstrong Baker asked her husband as he walked through the swinging dorrs of the hospital ' you should be in bed. ' She warpped her arms around, she really did hate the night especially now she was carrying around the extra weight.

' I couldn't slep I just wanted to see you' Dan said staring past her, seeing Brad pacing the corridor. ' Is everything ok? why's Brad here?' Dan became concerned. Brad had become a good friend of his.

' Everythings fine, Cassie's gone into labour but the baby was breach and stook so they've had to take her for cescarean.' Rachel looked back at her brother. He loved those kids like his own and she felt for him for what he must be going through.

' Anyway, is this lack of sleep anything to do with Ryan?' Rachel was so annoyed at Amanda taking Ryan all that way, it felt like revenge to her and Dan. Because Dan had testified at Belles hearing Amanda had taken the attitude out on him and Ryan away from him.

' A little I left another message for him, but i've not had reply. I just hope Amand's not tried to turn him against me Rachel. I know we're having a baby rach, and I'm so thrilled but I can't lose my son, I just can't.' Rachel understood perfectly. She loved Ryan like her own and she didn't want to see him so upset.

' I know it'll be ok Dan. We'll get in touch with him I promise you that.' Just then her beepper went off ' Oh I'm sorry babes, thats my cue. We have a car crash on the way and it looks like they could have just pulled up' She kissed him o the lips ' I love you' She whispered.

' I love you too. Take care of you and that baby' he waved as she headed off the way he'd just come. He looked up to see Brad still pacing and decided to go say hi.

' Hey man, any news' He put his hands in his pocket and leant against the wall. peering round the corner, he saw Sally and Pippa both sat on chairs holding hands and Ric was stood against a window staring out at the dark night.

' Not yet they've been down about half hour, we should hear something soon hopefully. What are you doing here any way?' He suddenly realised it was the middle of the night and Dan should be tucked up in bed.

' I couldn't sleep so I thought i'd come down see rach and then she's been called away and I noticed you stood here.' At that point Sally stood and walked over to where Dan and Brad were stood.

' Hi Dan, god i hate this waiting, not being able to be there for her.' Sally put her head into Brads chest. All of a sudden the doors Rachel had laft a good few minutes ago reopened.

' Dan it's Ryan' Rachel said. Dan stood frozen on the spot before running after them.

' What the hell happened Ryan it's dad can you hear me?' He pushed past the nurse to hold his hand.

' Dan please let us do our job' Rachel said pulling him away with his hand ' all that I know at the minute is that he was involoved in a car crash at the welcome to summer bay sign and that they're bringing somebody else in. He's braething Dan, that's all I know please wait outside I'll take of him' With that she raced back to the side of her step son. Dan stepped outside in a world of is own. Just then the doors swung open and Amanda was being wheeled in in a wheelchair.

' amanda are you ok, what happened?' He asked his ex wife.

' I don't know one minute we were arguing and the next minute there was a bright light in front of me and I had to swerve the car. The next thing I knew I was being woken by the ambulance man. Where's Drew is he ok?' Amanda asked looking around for her son.

' he's in there, Rachels with him. He's breathing. I don't know anything else.' Dan out his head down into his hands ' He doesn't look good Amanda. THen something snapped in him. ' Why thge hell were you driving this late at night, why the hell were you arguing with him instead of watching the road amanda, it's just like you to be stupid' He shouted at er before standing and heading for the window that over looked his sons room.

' It wasn't my fault. He'd been complaining all day he wanted to be back in summer bay and then he threatened to walk out of where we're staying and not come back so I agreed to drop him off at Leahs house for a few days. He didn't like it and said that as soon as he was dropped off he'd be going straight to yours. I wasn't happy and we started arguing'. She shrugged her shoulders.

' You were going to drop him at Leahs in the middle of the night? GHod amanda I don't think you could stoop any lower' He shook his head and turned back to his son.

It felt like days before Rachel finally came out to talk to them, really it was only about half hour. She stepped out and took off the paper cap she'd been wearing. Putting her arms around Dan she started slowly.

' He's alive and breathing but he has taken a nasty bang to the head which has what taken so long, we had to spot it blleding. It's too early to say yet but we think that Ryan could have recieved some damage to the brain. We've got to do some more tests and then we have to wait to see how he reacts when he wakes up. What ever happens Dan I'll sort it ok.' She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. She could see the devastation in his face and she felt so guilty not being able to do anything else for him. @ Dan you can go in and see him. Amanda before you do we need to get that cut on your head sorted' just as she said that nurse Julie came out of the room ' Julie could you take amanda into one of the treatment rooms and get her head stitched please' She wasn't taking no for an answer. Sh estood and watched as Julie took Amandas wheelchair and turned. Taking in adeep breath she went to go back into the room she'd keft Ryan in when all of a sudden she felt a sharp pain rip through her stomach, she couldn't be in labour she was onnly six months gone. Just at that moment Dan came out.

' Rach are you coming in? Hey are you ok you don't look very well?' He asked concern etching across his face.

' I'm fine honestly. just tired, look I'm going to get changed out of these and have a wash I'll be back soon I promise.' She smiled at him and kissed him before walking around the corner. As she rounded the corner the pain was there again this time even worse she collapsed on the floor in pain.

' Rachel, whats up, whats the matter?' it was Brad bending down at the side of her, pushing the hair out of her eyes. ' Hold on I'll get Dan' he went to get up and head in Dan's direction Rachel grabbed his hand.

' No Brad don't he needs to be with Ryan please. Find me a chair and get julie please' she pleaded with her brother, who nodded his head in agreement, he wasn't happy but if thats what his sister wanted. The next thing Rachel knew she was in a hospital bed hooked up to a drip.

' My baby, whats going on' She moved. Brad grabbed her hand. ' Hey everythings fine, your babies ok and your going to be ok. You went into labour but they managed to stop it. I'll get the doctor. He stood to leave. 'Brad, Ryan?' she didn't need to say anything else.

' He's ok. Still groggy but awake. Dan said that he's got to have some tests done but ealry tests show good signs' He said smiling at his sister ' I won't be long' he kissed on the fore head and set off to find the doctor and tell Dan.

' Rach, I was so worried about you. Brad came rushing in saying you'd blacked out and there was something wrong with you.' The doctor who saw you thought the baby was going to die. Oh Rach I was so scared I was going to loose you.' He put his head down onto her hand.

' I'm ok Brad says the babys ok and he told me that things are lloking good with Ryan' she said managing a smilem she had to be the strong person she always was.

' Yes Ryan's gonna be fine. He's more worried about you.' He kissed her hand as the doctor walked in.

Half an hour later the doctor left Dan and Rachel to it. ' You heard the doctor. It's complete rest for you. At least she says you can do itt at home.' Dan was trying to be positive he knew how much rach wanted to work til the end and how she wouldn't cope being stuck in the house.

' Yes but Dan what about Ryna I have to arrange extra tests and help him get better' she didn't want to be stook around doiing nothing.

' Ryans going to be fine and as soon as doctor says you can get up i'll take you to see him. Amandas there with him at the minute.' As the final words came out of his mouth he saw his wife drifting back to sleep. Kissing her forehead he stepped out of the room closing thhe door behind. At least she was having the rest she needed.

[sarahandkatie]

CHAPTER 12

'Whats going on Julie we've been waiting here ages. Is Cassie ok what about the baby?' Ric pounced on Julie with all these questions as she walked through the door.

' Everything OK Cassie seems ok she's in recovery at the minute. and you have a daughter Ric. She's had to go to th baby care unit because right now her breathing is a little erratic. The doctor will be in to talk to you in a minute. Then I'll arrange for you to go down and see Cassie ok. Oh and Ric congratulations she reaally is beautiful' Julie said as she stood to leave the room.

' Thanks Julie' Ric knew it wasn't upto Julie to tell him what she had so he was greatful. What was going to happen to his little girl? Sally walked over and placed her hand protectively over rics shoulder. kneeling down next to him.

' Congratulations son' she was so happy for them and was almost positive that what ever was happening was just a small thing.' Everythings going to be ok.' The doctor entered the room and everyone noticed the sullen look on his face.

' Can I ask everyone to leave the room whilst i speak to the father please' The doctor looked around at the weary faces that sat in front of him.

' No doctoe what ever you have to say you say in front of these people, these are my family ok.' He stared at him.

' Ok, as you know Cassie had to have a cesarean section because of the fact the baby was breach and also very stuck. We had some trouble during surgery due to the fact both cassies and the babies heart rates increased incredibally fsat and to a very high rate. We managed to steady cassies and continue with operation. When we finally removed the baby from cassie we noticed the baby was very blue and hher breathing was very erratic. We put her on some oxygen and have done some tests. This i svery hard to tell you but we believe that baby Dalby has a small hole in her heart and as you can imagine for someone so small it's hard to know how serious this will effect her. The only solution myself and the child doctor can think of to suit her case is open heart surgery. Obviously it's very dangerous for a small person. We will have to do more tests to see this is definately the case, but we just wanted to explain what is going on now. For you to start thinking ahead for any decisions we may ask you to make. She's beautiful Mr Dalby and as soon as we have finished the tests we will arrange for you to be immediatley taken down to the unit.' He stood up and shook Rics hand. ' Now if you'll excuse me I want to go and check Cassie out of recovery and see your little girl again' He gave rick a heartfelt smile and left the room and everybody in it in shock. Ric, who had stood to shake the doctors hand fell to the floor, sobbing. He couldn't understand, he couldn't take it in. Sally was on the floor beside him wrapping her arms around him in a second. Pippa lent against Brad, who wrapped his arm around her. Not really knowing what to say.

Ten minutes later the dorr was opened and Cassie was wheeled in. Ric jumped up from his spot on the chairand rushed to his wifes bedside. ' Hey you, are you ok' Cassie opened one her groggy eyes and smiled a half smile ' I will be, we have a little girl Ric, a gorgeous little girl.' She then started sobbing. Ric figured the doctor must have told her what was going on aswell. Sally stepped forward and took Cassies other hand.

' Hey you, Congratulations' she leant over and kissed her daughters fore head. ' Everythings going to be ok hon I'm here, Rics here and we're going to hellp you get through this. Cassie turned to Ric.

' What ever happens if she needs and operation, then she's to have it' and with that Cassie closed her eyes and went back into a slumber. Sally walked round the bed and silently took Ric's hand. She hated seeing htme like this.

' hey I'm sorry guys but Cassie really does need her rest so could you all leave for a couple of hours please. Doctors orders. OH and Ric give mee a few minutes to dump these and i'll take you down to see baby ok.' She smiled and wondered off. Sally wasn't happy about leaving cass but she knew it was for the best. She kissed her on the fore head and di the same to ric. she'd sent Pippa and brad home a while ago. They'd probably be tucked up in bed by now. She left the room and took her phone out of the bag. She wanted to try Alf again. dialling the number she waited a few minutes and after no reply she put the phone down. she'd have to call in on the way home. Taking her car keys out of her bag she headed for the door.

Twenty minutes later she was pulling up outside Stewart Mansion, she leant out and rang the bell on the gate, a voice spoke throught the intercom ' PLease state your name and the reason for this visit.' Sally recgnised the voice as one of Alfs P.A's.

' Hi Veronica, it's Sally I have some important news for Alf.' She waited for the gates to start opening but instead heard the voice again.

' I'm sorry Mrs Saunders, but Mr Stewart is busy doing an interview and has been asked not to be disturbed.' oh that women annoyed her so much.

' Well can you tell Mr Stewart that his granson has just become a dad for the second time and has a beautiful baby girl, but the baby is seriously ill and his grandson needs him, thank you' and with that she put the car into reverse and left the women on the other end of the intercom. She wasn't hanging around there. She wanted to go pick up Flynne and get home.

WILL ALF CARE ABOUT HIS GRANDSON?

WHAT WILL LUCAS AND MATTIE SAY WHEN THEY RETURN TO FIND THE WHOLE BAY TURNING INTO A DESASTER ZONE?

WHICH FACE FROM THE PAST CAUSES UPROAR?

[sarahandkatie]

ok this is not going to be a long chapter so her goes...........

CHAPTER 13

'I had a great dream last night. that the man I was totally and utterly in love with me agreed to move in here to the flat with me' Martha smiled at her new live in boyfriend. She'd had sunch a great night. They had a great night. the meal was absolutely delightful and the walk after oh it was like a dream come true. the sand was still warm and soft, and the light from the moon was giving the best light and shadows she could have wished for. They'd walked for a good half hour in silence holding hands and taking in the scenery around them. Then they sat on a bench in a little cove watching the sea bob up and down. They'd both started talking at the same time and had laughed about it later when they realised they wanted to ask the same thing. Martha smiled at the memory now. She looked over at Jack who she thought must be thinking the same thing. @ we gotta get up and dressed you have work and I have to go visit Ric and Cassie. She's got to have hdad the baby by now' When they had got in last night their was a message on the answer phone from ric to say cass was in labour. She got out of bed and padded through into the kitchen. Noticing the light flashing on the machine she realised she must have left it on machine answer. She walked over and pressed the play button then went over to the kitchen to boil the kettle. ' Hey Martha it's me' she knew it was rics voice but he sounded croaky and tired, go the labour must have been a long one ' Cassie had to go to theatre the baby was stook, it's a girl and cassies fine, but they, they think the baby is seriously poorly and I don't know what the hell to do Martha' with that the phone went dead. Martha stared at the machine for a minute before dropping the cup she was holding and running through to the bedroom. She threw on some tracksuit bottoms and a t shirt. put on her trainers and her hair into a pony. She was ready in three mminuted flat, Jack haaving heard the message from his place in bed was also rushing around on the phone telling the desk cop there was an emergency and he'd be in as soon as possible. They left the house car keys in hand and ran for the car they'd parked up the night before. Martha was still trying to take it all in. alls sshe knew is she had to be there for Ric. She somehow had a feeling Alf wouldn't be there. Jack held her hand in a tight squeeze, trying to reassure her it'd be ok.

Before she knew it they were parking up at the hospital. Martha jumped out before jack had properly parked and raced through the swinging doors into the hospital. When she got to the right floor the lift opened and sat on the chairs in the corridor head in hands was her cousin. He looked up as Martha moved towards him.

' Oh Martha what am i supposed to do?' He sobbed martha sat besides him and placed her arm around his shoulder. she was there now and she wasn't going anywhere.

Told you it was only going to be a short chapter. I'm going to be skipping a head a few days for the next chapter so sorry if it confuses any1

[sarahandkatie]

CHAPTER 14 ~ one month on.

Ric, Cassie, Sally, Brad, Martha and Jack sat side by side in the long dark hospital corridor it'd been seven hours since baby Joy had been taken to theatre and they hadn't heard anything. Matilda and Lucas had left just over half hour ago to see Hayley who was in hospital with pneumonia and then they were going to get food fro them all.

' I can't handle this, thats our little girl in there, why is no one talking to us why is it taking so long' Ric stood up and started pacing, his hands on the back of his head. Cassie looked up, tears in her eyes.

' I donn't know Ric, but we can't get stressed it's been so hard and we need to stay strong' she couldn't believ Ric was being so selfish, it felt like all he was thinking about was himself. Sally, sencing the attmosphere that was starting to build, stood and made her way to where Ric was standing.

' Look, why don't I go and see if I can find nurse Julie, I'll ask her to ring and see whats going on ok?' she knew they would calm down with the thought of somebady doing something. Just as she was about to leave the swinging doors to the theatres opened and the doctor walked out, taking off his hat and he walked.

' Cassie, Ric sorry about the wait, with Joys body being so small and delicate we had to take our time. But I have some good news for.' He smiled at them before continuing, ' Joy managed to stay stable the whole time and the operation has gone successful, she is still not out of the woods and is at a high risk of getting infections etc, but we are really happy at how everythings gone today and now it's a case of waiting, monitering, and giving lots of tlc.' He directed this at Cassie as it was her he knew would be staying with the little girl over night. ' She's going to be in intensive care for at least a week, but most of that time I should imagine is her recovering forom the anasthetic.' He nodded and stood ' you're little girl is a fighter and we all think she's a real star' he went to leave but not before Ric had caught him, taking his hand and shaking it like it was the last hand shake he would ever give.

' Thanks so much doc, for everything, when joys older we're going to make sure she knows just how helpful you were, can we go see her?' he asked.

' She's inrecovery at the minute. I'll send one of the nursy's out to you in the next half hour. Just give us chance to keep a complete eye on her.' he smiled and walked off leaving the whole group smiling broadly. The silence was interuppted by the small sound of sobbing. Everyone turned to see tears streamming down Cassies face. Ric quickly rushed to his wifes side.

' Oh Cass everythings going to be ok now, you heard the doctor the op was a success and she's a fighter' He wrapped his amrs around cassie.

' I'm not crying for that I'm crying because i'm relieved and happy. It's been such a difficult month for us and now we can finally treat our little girl like any normal baby.' Cassie rambled on. Sally took in the scene leaning against Brad. She was so relieved.

' Look guys I'm going to go and phone around let everyone know things have gone well. I'll see you back in the ward a little later.' She left them too it and hand in hand with Brad headed for the hospital canteen. She stepped inside and took out her phone and the list of numbersshe had to ring. Alf first she thought, knowing full well he wouldn't talk to her it'd be one of his PA's who she spoke to.

Just as they were about to leave the canteen twenty minutes later, they bumped into mattie and Lucas.

' Sally is everything ok is she out?' Mattie asked.

' Yes she's ok. the operation was a success but she's still not out of the woods' Sally smiled at Matilda. She'd been such a support for Cassie since they got back from there honeymoon. Instead of spending there first month of married life happy and together just the two of them, they'd been working during the day then going straight to the caravan park house and collecting Flynne, they knew Cassie and Ric needed a break and took the small boy to the beach to watch the sunset or for dinner or just to their house to play games. On the weekends they took him to the zoo and o one occasion Mattie had even taken Joy for her daily check up as Cassie was ill in bed andRic had to some maintaenance on the vans. ' Look Matild, Lucas, we just wanted to thank you so so much, for giving up your first month as a married couple and helping look after cassie and ric and the kids. We don't think they would have coped without your help' she put her arms around Matilda. ' hows Hayley?' she was going to go and see her later. It had been a big shock hearing about hayleys cancer, and even more of a shock when she heard that it was fatal. Both her and Brad felt for them. Brad had been spending alot of time with Scott these last two weeks or so and she knew that in a way it will be helping him.

' She's not well,' Lucas answered putting his arm around Mattie, sally noticed the tear in the corner of her eye. ' Beth was saying the doctor has said to be prepared for the worst' Lucas swollowed hard and looked down at the floor in front of him.

' I think I'll call and visit her now. Would you two do me a faavour and take these sandwiches down to cassie and ric they need it. There's also some in ther for you.' She smiled and handeddd the basket to Lucas.

' Thanks Sal, Have you rang everyone and told them Joys ok, is there anyone you would like us to ring?' Lucas was such a thoughful guy.

' Everyone is rang I think. Alf didn't answer again' Sallly sounded a bit dissapointed as anyone would be. Before the show Alf had been the one person everyone knew would be there and be strong in such an event but now you couldn't even speak to him. He was out on the town with Nicole Kidman, Tom CRuise or some other big star.

' Ok lets get these down to them I bet their starving. What we'll do is take these down to Cassie and Ric, then we'll head off and pick Flynne up from Leahs I bet she's run off her feet. We'll keep him, at ours tonight and bring him in with us tomorrow to see Joy if thats ok with you two.' Mattie added.

'; Thats fine by us.' Brad smiled at the two yound people in front of him then waved as they made their way to see HAyley. He'd been chatting to Scott a lot lately and knew how hard it must be for him. He wasn't looking forward to seeing hayley in such a states because he knew they'd remind him so much the way he last emily all those years ago but he needed to be there for Sal.

As they walked into the room they were greeted by a crowd of people sttod around watching hayley as she slept. Bath and Irene sat in two chairs on one side of her bed, Scott on the other, the kids were playing in the corner of the room, Noah was perched next to his dad' Sally noticed somebbody else stood staring out of the window and went over to join him.

' Hey Will, how are you fairing' Hayleys brother will had flown to be with hayley a few days ago, but because of the baby this was the first time she'd seen him. Will turned to look at Sally and shrugged his shoulders. Sally tiptoed and put her arm aound his neck. ' where;s Gypsey I thought she was coming with you.' Sally asked looking around and seeing no sigh of his wife.

' She has, I sent her back to Irenes to collect some things I wanted here with me.' Will's voice was full of emotion.

' Hey Sal, hows little Joy?' It was Irenes turn to ask, she looked as pale and emotional as will.

@ She's ok she's out of theatre and the doctor thinks she should be ok.' Sally didn't know what else to say. She walked over and kissed Hayley on the cheek then she took the chair next to Irene and out her hand in irenes.

Irene took Sallys hand and gently let the tears start to fall, she was trying to be so strong but she feelt like she was at the end of her tether, not only that but she knew she needed to let it out. When she'd got home last night she pulled out a bottle of champagne that was left from Hers and tonys engagement party, opening it she put it to her mouth and only at the last second did she realise what she was doing. Standing up she threw the bottle at the wall, smashing it into millions of pieces. How was she supposed to cope. Looking up now she saw Scott staring at Hayley. How was he going to with the kids. She was just glad They'd decided to move back here. At least her and beth could help him.

Half an hour later they were all still sat watching Hayley. Gypsey had returned and was perched on the arm of sallys chair. Will was sat on the bed, his hand on hayleys blanket covered leg. The kids had fell asleep on the blanket Irene had layed out for them. It was pitch black outside but nobody wanted to leave.

As the sun started to rise Hayley took her last breath, her hands being held by Will and Scott. Scott gently leant forward and kissed his wife on the cheek before whispering ' Good night my beautiful, amazing wife. I will always love you' He put his head onto the bed and began to cry. Irene stood and left the room follwed by Sally. Gypsey put her hand on Wills shoulder, Beth stood watching the scene unfold.

' Daddy, is mummy stilll asleep' his daughter asked innocently sitting up still half in slumber. Scott looked back at Hayley and knew instantly waht he had to do. Standing he placed his hand on Noahs shoulder and kissed his head, then he walked over to where his little girl was sitting, picking her up replied in an unstaedy voice ' yes darling mummy is still asleep, and she's not going to wake up. But what you have to remember is she's always going to be awake in here and in here' he pointed to his daughters head and heart. Then he kissed her on her head and placed her back down on the blanket. He walked over to Beth, his own mummy, and she placed her arms round him. She felt his shoudlders wobble and knew she would probably be stood here for a while. Noah sat staring at his mum. Why have they took his mum away. why now? he felt the tears start to roll down his face then he felt a hand in his and looked up to see his uncle will staring at him. he smiled a small smile and continued to cry.

Outside sally and Irene sat on a bench. They were both crying but non wanted to speak. They sat there for half hour before going in to join the others. Irene felt alittle stronger after her cry. She walked in and kissed will on the cheek. He looked at her and said ' She always saw you as her mum you know. and she said the other day how much she's missed you' He held Irenes hand. Irene nodded and touched Hayleys face, it felt cold already. She'd really gone. The thought crossed her mind, a thought she didn''t want to have god I need a drink. She shook her head, not now she said to hersalf not now.

I'm sorry if this makes you cry I was crying typing it. I feel like a right morbid cow now though he he.

WHICH PERSON FAILS TO APPEAR AT HAYLEYS FUNERAL?

WILL IRENE MANAGE TO STAY AWAY FROM THE BOOZE?

HOW WILL NOAH REACT WHEN HE HEARS ABOUT THE FIRST FEW MONTHS OF HIS LIFE?

[sarahandkatie]

CHAPTER 15 ~ the evening before

' Rob, that was Sal on the phone' Tasha shouted to her husband who was busy in the study. ' She says the baby is ok, the operation went well and the doctors are happy' She finished as she heard robs phone beep to show a text.

' Ok hon, thats a relief. The text is from Mattie, Hayleys reaaly not well the doctors have told scott to prepare himself' Rob said this as he walked down the stairs not once taking his eyes off the phone. ' It also says mums asked us to stay away til tomorrow. Ther'es already lots there.' He sighed. He wanted to be there for his big brother but at the same time he knew he wouldn't cope. As he got to the bottom, Tasha hugged him.

'Look rob, you know how hard I find talking about these things, so is it ok if we don't just for now. I know it's hard but....' she looked robbie in the eye.

' Yes thats fine, I don't think I could handle talking about it anyway. Is that supper ready yet I'm starving' Robbie put his brave face on again, the face Tash was so used to seeing.

' It is as a matter of fact, by the time you wash up i'll have it on the plate. I've done a chicken and veg' She smiled at her husband. She knew he'd be happy at hearing that because it was after all his favourite.

' Ummm, yummy I willbe back in two minutes ny lovely.' He winked at her and headed off up the stairs tripping on the third one. Tasha smiled, thats one of the reasons she loved him, his clumsiness.

' Oh Rob, can you check on the kids as well' and she turned on her heel. Time for supper she thought to her self. Heading for the kitchen. The next few minutes were filled only with the sound of clattering plates as she dished the food up and put the pans in the sink. By the time Robbie got down she'd set the table, poured the wine, lit the candles and placed the food out. She loved the fact her and robbie had this time togther. Whilst they were still in the city, they'd been busy constantly and never really had a chance to sit down. Now robbies job meant he was home by tea to play with the kids for an hour and put them to bed. Robbie kissed her head as he passed and sat in his chair.

' Oh it smells so nice.' And with that he started eating. He didn't realise how hungry he was. They spent the next few minutes in blissful silence each enjoying the food in front of them.

' So Rob, I was thinking. when we've finished and cleaned up we could snuggle on the sofa and watch a film. We've not done that in so long and I finally emptied that box today.' she said smiling at rob.

' That sounds brill and since you cooked you can get the couch warm for me whilst i do the pots' he kissed his her again as he stood with his now empty plate. He took her plate and walked through to the kitchen. Tasha sighed and went over to the sofa. She'd let robbie choose the movie. She all of a sudden felt tired and snuggled further down into the sofa.

' Ok my lovely..............' Robbie trailed off, his wife was sleeping piecfully. Her head resting on the arm her feet tooked under the cusions. He walked over and selected a movie then he pulled a blanket over tash and another one over him settling down he looked over one last time at her and pressed play, he didn't move untill the final credits had rolled. He turned off the tv, locked up then picked up his wife. Heading up the stairs, laying the wife on the bed he switched off the light and got in beside her he was worried for scott, he was also feeling suddenly very tired. He let hiself fall into a deep slumber.

The next morning he was woken by the sound of the telephone. Looking over at the alarm clock he saw it was just past six. who would be phoning at this time, then he knew. He got up and ran down the stairs taking the steps two at a time.

' Hello' he said, his voice still groggy with sleep. He listened intently to the caller at the other end of the phone ' Ok goodbye' and he placed the phone down. he sat in the chair at the side of the phone stand and placed his head in his hand. Tash was sitting on the stairs.

' Rob, was that your mum?' she asked. Rob nodded his head and looked up at his wife. He let one tear fall down his face. tasha came down the remainder of the stairs and sat on his knee. Thats wher they sat for the next half hour, both in the own thoughts, both at one point crying.

' Mum, is everything ok?' Ella asked. She'd heard the phone ring a while ago, but non of her folks had come back upto bed. After waiting for what felt like an eternity she had decided to come down and investigate.

' Ehmm not really el, come sit down please.' Tasha stood and pulled out a dining chair. Feeling worried, ella slowly moved over to the chair and sat down. By this time Rob had also joined them and held out his hand to take ellas.

' That was nana Beth on the phone. She's been at the hospital all night. I'm afraid it's not good news Hayley passed away this morning' He looked up at his daughter. she'd become fond of Hayley recently and knew it would hit her hard. After a couple of moments of staring into thin air, her shoulders started to wobble and she started sobbing, both her parents stood and moved over to her chair they placed their arms around her and held her tight. It's funny they all knew it was coming but it was still a shock. After a few minutes Rob stood and quietly said to Tasha ' I have to go, I have to go to the hospital. Will you be ok here?' He asked her trying to keep himself together. Tasha held her hand out and took his, she nodded and Rob walked back up the stairs to get dressed. Picking up his mobile as he did. He dialled Mattie's number. The ringer only went once.

' Hey little sis. I'm just getting dressed to go to the hospital, Would you like me to pick you up' He listened to his sisters voice hoarse with crying. ' Ok I'll pick you up half hour' and he put down his phone. and continued to dress. When he went down stairs tasha and El were wrapped up in a blanket on the sofe, El asleep on her mums chest. Tasha blew robbie and a kiss as he opened the door and then he was gone.

Meanwhile across town...............

Martha Holden put down the telephone and walked back through to the bedroom, she could never understand how Jack slept through the ring. She sat on the bed and disturbed him.

' Jack wake up please.' Jack suddenly sat up he could hear the difference in Martha voice and knew something was wrong. He turned to see his wife crying.

' Oh Martha whats up?' as soon as he said this he knew ' is it Hayley?' She nodded. He wrapped his arms around her. She'd grown close to Hayley since the wedding and with his dad living in Irenes house with them he'd sppent quite alot of time with them. He suddenly remembered the meal at the sands him and martha had had. They saw Hayley and Scott at the opposite end of the resteraunt, they'd only stayed long enough to have a main course then they left in a hurry. They found out two days later why. Hayley had been sat on the couch when Martha and he walked in the house, she'd been crying and martha went straight over to wrapping her arms around her. Hayley had then told them what was going on and when they left a few hours later both still in shock they vowed to be good friends to her and scott and they had actually managed to be just that. Jack reached over and picked up his mobile phone, he wanted to ring his dad. Tony had been called to the city on business and Jaack knew he'd want to get home for Irene. he typed in the mans mobile number and waited for an answer.

' Hey dad, it's Jack, yeah sorry to ring you so early. I just thougt you'd want o know Hayleys gone dad, this morning' he listened to his father for a few minutes the added ' I had a feeling Irene would have been too shocked to ring you, yeah sure see you in a fw hourse' He placed his phone down and told Martha his dad would be setting off straight away. They stayed sitting there for a good hour, non of them knowing just what to do.

The youngest holden house hold

'It's ok Mattie you go with rob I';ll stay and look after Flynne. He's fast asleep. When he wakes I'll give him some breakfast dress him and head up to the hospital. Give Scott my love ok' He wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed her head. 'I love you' he pushed her through the door, knowing robbie was waiting in the car on the driveway. waving as she got in and he drove off. Lucas sighed and headed back into the house. He couldn't believe the time was already here. He had to ring his dad. Picking up his mobile he dialled the number and waiting for the old man to answer. The phone rang and rang. He must already know and be on the way he placed the phone on the table at the side of the settee he sat on.

' Uncle Luc, Where's untie MAttie?' He turned around to see a very sleepy looking little boy rubbing his eyes, his favourite teddy bunny dangling by the ears from his hands.

' Auntie Mattie had to go out little man,' he said getting up and crossing the room, picking up the little buy. he walked back over to the sofa and sat down, it was to ealry to start getting ready yet. He flicked on the tv to cartoons and settled down to watch them with his godson. He sat watching them for a few minutes and looked down the little boy was snoring soundly. Oh well, he'd not watched cartoons for so long.

[sarahandkatie]

Ok here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy. I am morbidlly dedicating this to zetti. She updated and this is the update i promised her!

CHAPTER 16

It was the morning of the funeral and everybody was gathering for the send off hayley had wanted. No one wore black and there were no churches in sight, she wanted the service to be held at Stewarts point. She wanted her asshes to be prepared the service and for them to scattered at the end. Also she requested no tears, but when she wrote this she knew that wouldn't happen and there were already tears flowing. There was only one person not there and everyone was starting to wonder why? Noah. Scott paced the floor trying his sons mobile every few seconds, no answer. No one could understand why. He'd been fine and staying strong. He went for a wlk yesterday and when he got back he was in a weird mood. Took off again this morning and hadn't been back. Kim Hyde sat on the stool to the breakfast bar biting his fingernails. He had an idea what the matter was but how could he tell them?

the day before

Noah walked along the beach thinking how often his mum had mentioed this beach and this place, he understood why it really was amazing. He stopped and watched the lone figure swimming back to shore. Noticing the mans towel at the side of where he'd stopped he scooped down and picked up, holding it forward as the older man walked towards him.

' Thanks' he said collecting the towel from the young man. He was sure he knew him, but couldn't really place it. Kim had arrived a few hours earlier and after dumping his things at Tasha and Robbies decided to check the place out. He hadn't been back for so long. He saw the sea and knew what he wanted to do immediately. After a dash back to the house to collect his swimming stuff he was back swimming like he'd never swam before. He couldn't believe he was back for hayleys funeral after all that had happened. As he emerged from the sea he was greeted by Noah.

' The sea looks gorgeous' Noah said nodding his head to the water in front of him, ' Do you swim here often?' He asked the man.

' I used to, when I lived here, I'm just back to attend an ex girlfriends funeral' Kim turned to look at the young lad and noticed he'd turned white ' is everything ok?' he didn't know what else to say.

' You knew my mum, Hayley?' It suddenly dawned on him. Yas the eyes and the hair, he was definately scotts son.

' Yeah I did we were together when you were born. I suppose your mum told you all about the mix up and how we thought you were mine before it finally came out you were acually your dads' thats when he froze, realising the boys shocked expression. He didn't know anything about it. ' Look I'm sorry man just forget I said anything, seriously it was a huge misunderstanding' He started backing off but not before Noah had turned and grabbed the man by the arm.

' Please don't. I want to know. It's obvious you were a big part of my mums life at one point and if what you say is true a big part of mine too. I want to know'.

They spent the next two and a half hours talking, well Kim was mostly talking, Noah was listening in shock. He just kept thinking, why didn't i know anything about this? why? He asked Kim not to mention this to anyone and stood and left. Kim watched him leave. He couldn't help smiling, Noah had grown into a sensible hansome young man, and in a way he felt proud of that, he felt proud of what scott and hayley had achieved.

Back to present day and Kim stood up, he had to tell Scott what was going on, he couldn't see Noah missing his mums funeral.

' Scott, man, can I have a word with you pleas?' Scott looked at Kim he couldn't understand what kim would find so important.

' Look Kim i'm sorry but i'm having a bitof a crisis right now, in case you've not heard my son is missing on the day we were supposed to celebrate his mothers life.' He stared at the man in front of him.

' Thats why i kinda want to speak to you. I spoke to Noah yesterday and I think I may be the reason he's dissapeared.' Scott shook his head looked at the floor and swung his fist at Kim hitting him right on the nose. He knew it was a bad idea Kim being here. He and Hayley had decided not to tell Noah what had gone on when he was still such a baby for fear of causing hurt or confusion. Kim reeled back in pain and there was a lot of cafuffle as every one ran to put a wall in between them.

' Scott' Beth said pushing his son to the side and through the door to the bedroom. ' What the hell was that, you are supposed to be saying goodbye to your wife today and instaed you are punching someone in front of your children' Beth looked up to see her son slumped on the floor tears streaming down his face.

' Oh mum, what am I going to do?' He managed thorugh the tears. Beth just held her son. knowing anything she said wouldn't help at this time. Alls she knew was they were supposed to be setting off in half hour, her son was in tears, her grandson was missing and kim was bleeding over all over irenes carpet. With a deep breath she stood kissed her son on the head and went to the living room.

' Robbie, can you go sit with your brother for a minute please. Who here has there mobile on them?' she watched as a few of them put up there hand. ' Ok Martha, Jack, Sally, Lucas. Each of you make sure your phones on. Take one person with you. Decide on 4 different routs and go find my grandson. do what ever you can to get him back here. Irene you stay and man the phone. If you find him ring irene and rene will ring the rest. Kim go to bathroom and clean yourself up then I want you to go upto Stewarts point and wait there if he turns up ring here immediately. Mattie you keep the kids occupied Tash can you make tea for everyone left here.' She looked at everyone and walked back into the bedroom, now to sort Scott out. ' Thanks Rob can you go and help Tash please' he stood and kissed his mum on the cheek as he passed her. Beth leant down lifted her sons chin with her finger and looked him in the eye. ' Scott, your children are sat out there very scared little people, you're their mum and dad now and you can't go around punching people. They need you more than anything at the minute. Ok. I know you have to grieve and I know you are hurting, I went through it all with your dad. But right now scott i need you to take a deep breath, think how Hayley woiuld cope with this and do that. Please. I will take the children off your hand after the funeral and will keep them for two days. YOu can go away or stay here, or whatever and you can grieve then but right now buck up' she knew she was being hard but she didn't know what else to do. Scott nodded e took a few breaths and stood up. He needed to be there for his kids..................................

TO BE CONTINUED!

[sarahandkatie]

CAHPTER 16~ continued

As kim walked towards Stewarts point, he stopped and smiled picking up the phone he dialled Irenes number ' Hi it's Kim he's here at Stewarts point. I'll see you in fifteen minutes' He placed the phone down and walked towards the boy he once called son.

' I almost forgot how amazing it was up here' Kim stated as he reached Noah. ' Do you know when you were still a baby I brought you up here and said to you ' One day son we'll stand shoulder to shoulder here and look out to sea and I'll tell you all the secrets of the bay' Kim laughed at this how did he remember that? Noah smiled. ' Look Noah, I'm sorry if what I said upset you or dissapointed you or something I honestly had no idea it would it's just I thought you would have known thats all.' He took a breath. ' Your dads worried about you he was pacing the floor and putting holes in irenes carpet a few minutes ago' Noah turned to look at him.

' I'm surprised he'd worried about me, he obviously didn't care about me when i was first born, he let you look after me' Noah had an angry llok in his eye.

' That wasn't the way it was man. Like i said yesterday your mum had a DNA test done and when it came back that i was yours, scott was devastated. He was so annoyed at everyone for what had happened. Scott loved you from the minute you were born, did you know he was the one that delivered you, in the middle of nowhere. I walked into the hospital when they got you and your mum to hospital and I stood watching as your dad held you I saw a look in his eye. I felt so guilty walking up and taking you. When the whole stalker swap thing came up and we were told I saw the look in your dads eyes Noah. He was so delighted. The look he had was the same look he had at the hospital. God Noah it killed seeing you being took away from me but deep down I knew it was for the best I knew he'd be a better dad. Noah he loves you. Right now even if he won't admit it that old man of yours needs you and i can see when i mention him you need him. What ever reason him and your mum chose not to tell you about this has got to be a good one Noah. They obviously did it out of love for you. Noah believe when I say you will never ever find a dad that has as much love for you like Scott has. I saw the worried look on his face today and I felt the anger when....... well that doesn't matter all's i'm saying is don't take this out on your dad ok. He needs you and you need him. My dad's in prison, did you know that? He's been there for just over ten years. Before he went to prison I for the first time had a relationship with him. I reakised how much I loved him and we spent so much time talkinga and properly getting to know him and you know the one thing i regret is not having that relationship sooner. LIke you and your dad have. Please don't ruin that for the sake of a few months Noah. Think of all the things he's done in life to support you.' He looked over at Noah who was crying. placing his hand on his shoulder he turned to see the congregation heading toward them. ' Do me a favour mate, be here now, for your dad NOah turned and followed Kims glaze at the front of everyone Scott walked with the kids on each hand. Noah nodded his head. Walked over to his dad and wrapped his arms around him he whispered he was sorry. The service went without a hitch. Afterwards they all headed back to irenes. It was going to be a long day.

Back in Irenes

As everyone mingled chatting about times they;d shared with hayley irene sat on her bed a bottle of vodka in her hand she stared at the lid. shakingg lsightly. What should she do. Nearly everyday she ended up like this. She hadn't actually taken a drink yet but after todays events she didn;t know if she could not not take a drink.

' Please don't tell me you're actually going to take a drink of that' Will stood at the door arms folded in front of him. He stepped into the room and headed over to the bed. Taking the bottle from Irene he slipped it into his pocket. 'Irene I came up here to find you to thank yyou so much you've been such a god send these last few weeks I don't think I could have coped without you. And to also thank you on behalf of Hayley, you became her mum, you do know that don't you. She would have been so dissapointed if she was stood here now seeing you with that bottle. She spoke so often about you Irene about the special person you are and I have to agree I don't think that with out you she would have coped through anything and I'm not jus talking about the cancer. Everything. All the stuff with Scott and Kim and with big Noah. and all the stuff before that. She really did feel safe when she was with you irene and I willnever forget that. When I came down the other week to see her, she gave me this' he handed her a magnolia envelope, she turned it over and on the front was Irenes name in Hayleys beautifuk handwriting. ' She asked me to make sure you got it after today. She's given me them for others aswell. I wanted you to have yours Irene' he stood and kissed the older women on the cheek. Then he walked twards the door ' Oh yeah I think I'll take this vodka with me.' He smiled the cheeky smile Irene loved so much and left. She smiled to herself and fingured the writing on the envelope. Oh well now was a good a time as any. she turned over and started to open it.

My wonderful caring mum, irene,

God this is hard because I know if you are reading this, i've gone.

I wanted to thank you mum for everything.

You became my mum, my best friend and my soul mate and

without you I would not be the person I was these last ten years.

I grew up so much thanks to your help.

Without your guidence I think I would be some dead end girl(pardon the pun!).

I have so much to be thankful for and most of that I can link back to you.

You told me to follow my heart and I am now(or was) married to

the man of my dreams.

You helped me with Noah and that made me want more kids and now I have three.

When Big Noah died Irene it was your arm I remember being around me

I hope you can do the same with scotty.

Your my guardian angel and my saviour and I have taken the love you gave

me with me.

I love you so much mum and always will.

Please don't cry for me. I want you to remember the good things,

the things that made you laugh.

I don't want you hitting that bottle either.

With love always

Hayley.

p.s help scott with the kids............

As Irene was reading her letter Will was walking around downstairs handing out everyone elses. Why did she give me this job, he thought to himself.

WHO ELSE RECIEVES LETTERS?

WHAT WILL THEY SAY?

WHAT SHOCK WILL ONE OF THE PEOPLE RECIEVE IN THEIRS?

HOW WILL SCOTT COPE WHEN NOAH CONFRONTS HIM?

[sarahandkatie]

Ok this next chapter at least is going to be letters etc. So you may need to tissues if it gets slushy he he he he

CHAPTER 17

Will handed the letters out silently having quiet word with everyone. He still had his in his bed side table, he some how couldn't find the strength to open it just yet.

As the evening drew to a close, a very different Irene stood by the door watching the people she knew so dearly leaving, most with a magnolia envelope similar to hers in their hands.

' Reney I'm here if you need to talk.' Tasha hugged her as she left.

' Thanks darl' but i read mine alredy and I'm going to be fine' she pointed to the letter tasha had in her hand. Ella was stood behind her mother and she had her own. Irene had noticed how often she'd walked in to find Ella and Hayley talking in the those last few weeks. She knew Ella had taken the news pretty badly and she'd been crying all day today. She hoped the letter would help her. She took the girl in her arms. ' Good sleep tight'.

Sally and Brad arrived home, sally walked over to the sofa and kicked off her shoes. She wore the ones Hayley had commented on just a few weeks before, she turned the letter over and over in her hands fingering the lettering on the front. It said Sally and Brad then in brackets it said Mr and Mrs Saunders Armstrong. That made Sall smile.

' You can open it if you like' Brad was leaning on the door frame into the kitchen, he'd just put the kettle onto boil.

' I will, in a minute, i need to build up the courage first.' She smiled and waited until Brad had gone back into the kitchen, then she opened it. inside was two folded up pieces of paper, one with brads name on, the others with sallys name on. Sally placed Bards on the coffee table and opened hers.

Dear Sally,

I'm going to start off by stating the obvious.

If you are reading this, it means only one thing......

I wanted to thank you Sally,

you were the only person, who when I told, nodded.

You didn't say there must be something you can do, you just nodded.

You don't know how much easier you made it for me.

I think through everyting that went on whilst I was living in the bay

you never judged me sal,

you never made me out to be the baddy.

You were just you. I totally understand why so many people

respect you. Your the agony aunt, the friend, and so much more.

I wanted to thank you also for being here the last few weeks.

For not molly coddeling me and for taking me to the zoo.

You were the only person I ever really told i'd never been.

Its something that was so special. I hope you still have the

giraffe I bought you. I couldn't believe how tall they were.

Sal, I need you to do something for me. I know still asking

for favours from beyond the grave,

sorry I know that was alittle morbid, but I think i'm allowed to be.

I need you to see Noahs ok sal, your going to be hhis principle.

I've written him a letter too and in it it says how special you

are. I told him if he needs anything you can help.

He's a good lad sal and he was getting passes in all his subjects.

I hope you will help him outside of school too. please.

I want you to be happy sal ok.

Make sure you have the best wedding possible.

I will miss you Sal.

With love always

Hayley

x

Sally let one lone tear fall onto the letter. She had to hand to hayley, she still knew how to handle life even in a letter. And as for Noah she'd already spoken to him today, he knew she was here for him. She smiled as she picked up the giraffe who's home had become the couch. That day at the zoo reminded her so much of the day she'd taken flynne car racing at the racing track. The look on his face was the exact same look hayley had when they pulled up at the zoo. She smiled again as Brad put the tae down and picked his letter up. Sally stood and picked up her tea. She headed for the door, giving Brad some space.

Brad turned the letter over in his hand, fingering the letters on the piece of paper. He tooka deep breath and opened the folded sheet.

Brad,

I didn't know you for long but from what i did know of you

you are on the most thoughtful respectable gentlemen

I could have known.

I wanted to thankyou from the bottom of my heart

without your love and support I don't think Scott could have

coped. The first time i saw scott really smile through all this

was after he and you had had that boys day at the beach.

I hope I can count on you Brad to continue helping that hubby

of mine. Believe me he needs it.

Take care of Sal.

Always be happy.

with deepest respect and love

Hayley

x

Brad smiled. He knew if he had a letter at all, it'd be short, sweet and about scott. Of course he was going to help Scott. Since all this had happened the thoughts of emily were fresh in his mind and he knew exactly what scott was going through and he knew scott knew that as well. He'd go and see him tomorrow. He put the letter on the table, picked up his brew and went to join sally who had gone to sit outside in the back yard. He sat on the swinging couch at the side of sally and they snuggled down together. Both there for each other without really saying anything.

' Brad, I want us to start planning the wedding. I want it to be special and I would like it to be at stewarts point. If thats ok?' She bit her lip as she looked at Brad. He kissed her nose.

' Of course to everything, I couldn't think of being married any where else.' And with that they sat back and watched the stars.

[sarahandkatie]

OK i'm going to give it a try again.

Thanks to Zetti for showing faith!!!!!

CHAPTER 18

Tasha and Rob walked into their new home, Ella walked past them and staright up stairs. She had her own leeter and both her parents knew she needed time to read it.

' So, shall I leave you alone to read it. I could go pay the babysitter and check the kids.' Rob stood with his hands in his pocket feeling awrkward.

' Yeah that'd be great thanks rob' and with that tasha followed her daughter up the stairs and into her and robs bedroom. She sat on the edge of her bed and kicked off her shoes then she pulled the lletter out of her bag and turned it over in her hands, running her fingers over the delicate looking writing on the front of the envelope which said Tasha and Rob. She started to open it. Pulling it out slowly. There were two pieces of paper, one with her name on one with robs on. She picked hers out and put the envelope along with robbies letter on the bed. Opening up the paper. A small flower petal fell onto her lap, she smiled knowing exactly wwhat this meant.

Tash,

My friend,

I have to start by saying that if you are reading this

it means only one thing.

I hope the petal fell out of this and its not been lost,

If you remember we picked these flowers

from that garden centre we went to with

the kids the other week. I can't believe how much fun

we had piccking plants for your new garden, which may

I add looks fab, especially the bed near the back(I did).

Tash, I still remember when you came to the bay, all

lost and confused. I remember thinking waht a beautiful

person you were and I didn't even know your personality

then. I remember you moving into irenes and the fiirst

tiem we talked. You have been the person I turn to if i

need cheering up tash. You were constantly making me smile

and forget the bad things that were happening.

I'm glad you agreed to be my daughters godmother and

I hope you can keep that role now, I need you to help scott with her

she's still yong but i can see she's going to be a handful.

Just like i was. I think you could really help her Tash.

You're such an amazzing person, fotr everything you

have been through you still come out the other side smiling and happy.

I will always remember your smile tash and your kindness

Putting people before yourself was your thing.

No matter what you were going through if you saw someone

in need you were there by their side holding their hand

and comferting them. I was glad you did the same for me

Look after yourself and your family tash.

I love you

Hayleyx

She dropped the letter onto the bed and lay back lifting the petal to her nose. Hayley must have pressed it when they got back, she couldn't help smiling. She let one single tear roll down her cheek. Then she rolled over onto the side and fell asleep there and the still in her clothes with the light, but with happy memories of the friend se had just lost in her mind.

Mean while next dooor Ella ahad changed into her pyjamas and was sat in the wicker chair at her window. She loved that spot and spent a lot of her time there thinking and writing and reading. She couldn't think of any place else she'd want to read this letter, her and hayley had gotten so close, she was a great friend and she couldn't believe she was gone. Turning the envelope over and over in her hands she felt the indentations left by the writing. She slipped her finger under the envelope and opened the letter. traking out the paper carefull she unfolded it, took a deep breath and began to read........

Ella,

I know it'll be hard for you to read this,

because i know when you will be reading this.

You ella, are such an amazing young sensiblie women,

Your look at life and your sence of being

is such a beautiful thing and makes me think

just how much your like your mum especially

when she was about your age.

I've never met a person of your age

like you, you are so kind, conciderate and

willfull it is amazing. I look at you and

I see the person i wish i was back then.

The chats we've had recently el have been

so so special. You've kept me happy and sane

and you've treated me 'normal' which is such

a specail thing for someone to do.

If Noah ends up with anyone as good as you el

I'll be so happy.

You became part of my rock in the last few weeks.

I will never ever let the memory of you leave me

I want you to be good for your folks, go far in life

and be happy, you desserve it!

Love always

Hayleyx

The tears fell from Ellas face onto the letter, one after another. She missed Hayley already and she couldn't understand why someone so young had beeen taken away from her and the family she'd left behind. Ella reread the letter stopping at the bit she'd written about Noah falling forsome one as good as her, if only hayley knew. From the moment Ella saw Noah she loved him, she wanted to be a part of his life. She knew she had to help him now then when all this was over she was going to tell him how she felt. She stood up and placed the letter into her memory box on her dresser. lOoking up she saw the picture of her and hayley from the wedding stuck to the mirror. She smiled. Then she switched off her light and got into bad. She suddenly felt really tired.

Robbie stood outside his daughters room listening to the sobs, knowing that the worrst thing he could do was to disturb but feeling terrible for leaving her. He saww the light go out under the door and continued to the end of the landing where his and tashas bedroom was. Opening the door he walked in and stopped, on the bed was tasha still fully clothed and asleep as he moved over to put the duvet over her he noticed the letter with his name on lay on the bed and walked over to it. Picking it up he ran his hands over his name and sat down. Taking a deep breath he unfolded the paper and started to read.

Robbie,

I know why your reading this letter and

what that means and I wanted to say that I

respect you so much, for everything you

went through.

When I heard it was you that turned off grahams

life support I felt so much respect it

was amazing and deep down i hoped that

one day if i needed anything like that doing,

my kids or scott would do it for me,

what i didn't realise is that would come so soon.

From the moment i met scott he was always going

on about what a great brother you are

and how much help you give him and since knowing

you myself I understand why.

You are such a special guy rob, and just like your lovely

wofe and gorgeous daughter you always put everyone

else before yourslef.

You should be proud rob, not only have you got an

amazing family you are a real gentlman.

Take care of Tash and el for me and of course

that big brother of yours. He's gonna need it.

You are so special Rob and I will never forgeth that.

Love always

Hayleyx

Rob smiled, he couldn't cry because he knew hayley wouldn't want that instead he sighed, stood up and put the letters and the envelope on the drressing table he turned, pulled the blankets over his wife and kissed her on the cheek. Turning off the light he strolled over and got into bed, suddenly he was feeling very tired.

[sarahandkatie]

This chapter is dedicated to amz89 for your lovely comment!

CHAPTER 19

Beth, Lucas and Mattie walked into their silent house. Beth placed her keys on the computer stand and kissed her daughter on the head.

' I'm going to bed, it's been such a long day. Make sure you get your rest sweetie' Mattie rolled her eyes. Her mum was still so mumsy over her. She was a married women now and was old enough to decide for herself.

' K mum night night' She snuggled down into the couch next to Lucas ' Kuc I don't think I can read this letter by myself can you stay with me please?' She asked already knowing her wouldn't make her go through this herself. They both stared at the envelope Mattie was holding. She turned it over in her hands and fingered the writing on the front.

To the ever blushing bride,

God that day is still so fresh in my memory. You looked so beautiful

and I was so proud to be your bridesmaid and to watch the most

beautiful wedding i think I have posibly ever seen.

I know if you are reading this it can only mean one thing.

I don't want you to cry for me mattie, I really don't

Right now you should be enjoying married life, planning

for the future, hopefully talking about kids

I know how scott is looking forward to becoming an uncle again.

I realised just how much of a special person you are mattie when

you dropped everything and flew over to paris when you

found out I had misscarried that baby, that was three and a half

years ago and so much has changed. Myself and scott moved back to

the city, you and luc got your acts together and are now married.

I am so proud to call you a sister(in law), you are a wonderful

strong amazing person mattie and don't ever ever let anybody ever

tell you different ok.

Don't ever change.

Keep smilingg that wonderful smile you have.

Love always

Hayleyx

p.s Lucas, as i know you will be reading this also I just want to thank you

for being a great support these last few weeks taking the kids,

doing the bbq and everythign else.

You take care of that amazing women for me

Hx

Mattie placed the letter onto the coffee table and let out a huge sigh. She started to cry silently. If only Hayley knew, she was pregnant. Lucas also sat in silence, he wrapped his arms around his wife and thats where they stayed for the rest of the night.

Beth sat on the bed in her room. She'd showered and got into her pyjamas the she settled onth bed. Pulling the letter out of her handbag, she fingered the writing on the envelope, She loved that writing. When Hayley and Scott lived in paris, she knew if she saw that writing it would only mean one thing, Hayley was sending more pictures of her grandchildren. She sighed, turned over the envelope and opened it. Taking out the paper inside she put it to her nose and that familiar smell hit her. No matter why hayley was writing she squirted her letters with this gorgeous perfumed water scent and there it was again. As she gently opened the letter a picture fell out. Beth smiled, it was the picture from the wedding, her and hayley were staring back arms around each other and smiles on their faces. She couldn't believe how close she'd gotten to hayley in these last two years. She was like another daughter and she was really going to miss her. she let one tear roll down her cheek and began to read the words in front of her.

Beth,

I hate the fact you are reading this as it only

means one thing.

These last few years I have become so relliant on

you as my mum. I have irene who is my mum

but you are just as important as her.

The conversations we had were so amazing for me

I felt like i'd gained a new best friend aswell as your other

roll as my mother(inlaw).

You have been such a help to me and scott these last

few years and especially these last few weeks,

I don't think we could have coped so well without you.

You are my rock Beth, the way you handle everything

that is thrown at you is so amazing.

The way you have handled me having cancer,

holding my hands at meetings scott couldn't come too.

And in these final few days helping me be able to

still be a good mum to the kids. Taking us on picnics

and helping me bath them and out them to bed.

Helping me get dressed on the days i have been up

after scott has left. Holding my hair whilst I've been sick,

making me smile when i've been at my lowest.

Showing me how to cope with something I know

is hard for you to cope with.

The morning after me and scott told you and irene

I rememberw walking into the kitchen and seeing you and irene

snuggled into tony and thinking to myself what am i doing to

the people i love. It's taken me a hell of a time to

realise it's out of my control. It's you that made realies

that. It's you that helped me stop blaming myself and

start living my life to the full

Thank you so much for everything.

I know scott will be ok because he has you.

I love you so much MUM

Hayleyx

Beth dropped the letter in front of her and lay back. She knew what she had to do and as soon as it was late enough in the morning she'd ring up the estate agents. She was moving back the bay for good. she got out her phone and texted her husband.

Hey you,

Funeral went ok.

We need to talk.

I need to be here for scott.

Hope you can understand

Bethx

She turned off her phone and got out of bed heading inot he kitchen to get a glass of water. She stopped as she took in the sight in front of her. Walking over she placed a blanket over Mattie and Lucas and kissed them both on their cheek. Lucas was beginning to remind her so much of tony. She missed him so much. Had she made a mistake marrying the doctor? She shhok her head and headed for the kitchen, careful not to wake up the couple.

The doctor was just getting in from his shift when he recieved the text from his wife. He read it, sighed and out the put the phone down. Not even an I love you. He had a bad feeling. He picked up his phone and dialled the mobile. It was switched off. He threw the phone against the wall and slumped down in a heap. Head in hands. He was going to the bay tomorrow. then he stood and headed for the bedroom. He needed the rest if he was going to make that drive first thing.