Mrs Bishop Posted March 26, 2007 Report Posted March 26, 2007 aw poor dan but he has to live he just has to
aejdude Posted March 26, 2007 Report Posted March 26, 2007 Great teasers! Can't wait for the full chapter!
*~Abi~* Posted March 27, 2007 Report Posted March 27, 2007 OMG!! Hope Dan's ok?!!, I wonder I Amanda will actrually tell Pete the truth wicked add hun
allibaz91 Posted March 27, 2007 Report Posted March 27, 2007 Update! Chapter 11 “Dan please come on mate, wake up it’s Pete.” Drew watched on, as he stood helpless. He couldn’t do anything. Sally and Leah burst through the hospital doors; they raced up to the front desk where they saw Pete just sitting on the chair, quietly just staring into space. “Pete, where’s Dan?” Leah yelled hysterically, wanting to see her husband. Pete slowly raised his head. “Rachel’s with him in there;” pointing towards room 4. Drew walked towards the three of them. Leah immediately swung her arms around him, giving him a hug. “Has there been any news?” Drew asked looking over at his dad. “No. They’re taking too long; we’ve been here for ages!” Pete said heading over to the room. Sally grabbed his arm. “Pete they know what they are doing!” Pete turned his head not knowing what to say, he just looked at sally then Leah and Drew before walking down the corridor. “Shall I go after him?” Drew asked, going to walk after Peter. “You stay here. I’ll go,” Sally insisted, walking after Peter. “Peter wait!” Sally yelled as she walked towards him. Pete stopped just looking at her before bursting into tears. “He was in such a mess, Sal. I couldn’t bring him round. I just couldn’t do anything.” Sally held Pete in her arms as tears streamed down his face. Pete slowly lifted his head looking up at Sal before saying: “I think we better go back.” They both began to walk into the hospital, as they turned round the corner they saw Leah screaming and crying as tears fell down Rachel’s face. Pete ran up to them. “No, he can’t be! He’s my little brother!” Pete practically screamed as he ran towards room 4. Pete suddenly stopped in shock, looking down at Dan’s lifeless body hooked up to all sorts of machines that weren’t going to bring him back. Pete slowly walked up to Dan’s body just staring at him. He fell back against the wall, just falling to the ground in shock, tears streaming down his face. Amanda sat on her sofa thinking about Pete, how her life was 3 months ago: she was happy living with Pete. Starting a life together, talking about the future. The more she thought the more determined she was to go and find Pete, telling him there was a chance he could be the father of the baby. Amanda stood up, grabbing her glass off the floor. She headed into the kitchen, and then she screamed. She stood facing someone with a balaclava on over their face. “Please, take anything, just don’t hurt me”. The balaclava man walked up to her, taking her by the arm and throwing her on the sofa. Sally slowly walked in the room. She sat down next to Pete hugging him. It wasn’t even a minute before Pete quickly got up, just looking at Dan. He then looked over at Leah. “I’m so sorry … It’s my fault he’s dead.” Leah looked at him, unable to say anything. She couldn’t speak. She was too shocked. “I’m sorry Dan,” Pete said as he quickly left the room, leaving Leah and Drew crying by Dan’s bedside. Sally chased after Peter trying to make him stop walking away; she couldn’t understand why he had just said it was his fault. “Pete, what do you mean it’s ‘your fault’?” Peter suddenly came to a stop turning to face Sally. “If I hadn’t left to go to the City then got back with Clare, he wouldn’t be lying dead in that hospital.” Amanda was shaking as she watched the man pace up and down in front of her. “We want $55,000. Now.” “I haven’t got it!” “Well get up, and go find it!” he said, picking her up off the sofa. As Amanda was being taken into the kitchen, she turned, hitting the man as she tried to get away; but she was flung into the table as the balaclava man pushed her. Amanda screamed in pain as she held onto her stomach. Pete suddenly opened his eyes looking in front of him. Dan still lay bleeding and unconscious. Drew began to drag Peter away as the paramedics arrived, trying to get Dan’s pulse.
aejdude Posted March 27, 2007 Report Posted March 27, 2007 Woo! Another chapter up. Great but emotional chapter there . Hope Pete's dream doesn't come true. Oh, i wonder who this person in the balaclava is and what they want with Amanda could it be a relative from the past? Can't wait for more.
*~Abi~* Posted March 27, 2007 Report Posted March 27, 2007 ooh actually thought dan was dead there bloody hell, poor petey thinking that hopen it does not come true wicked add hun
swfc Posted March 27, 2007 Report Posted March 27, 2007 Okay, is that a dream or something of some kind? Because, that was brilliant. You got me hook, line and sinker. I really thot Danny boy was dead for real. Damn, that was good. Really great chapter. Ooo, looks like Amanda might lose the kiddo after all. How cool is that? Clete can be together now.
Lilone Posted March 27, 2007 Report Posted March 27, 2007 Expect the un expected in Out of Control Thanks for comments btw I wrote the last one Chrissie
swfc Posted March 28, 2007 Report Posted March 28, 2007 Expect the un expected in Out of Control I think I've learnt to do that already. Thanks for comments btw I wrote the last one Chrissie Lol, guessed as much, Lil. It was really good. And you say yout proofing sucks.
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