Eli Posted May 1, 2007 Report Posted May 1, 2007 Okay Cal, I want the TRUTH this time, what is your secret to write so good not all of your readers (in my case like... three...) bails on the fic after one or two chapters? First of all: KUDOS FOR ACCEPTING THE CHALLENGE AND WRITING NON-SCRIPT, This is a kick-ass proof that you can do it! I just read all the chapters you've posted so far, and I'm again impressed by your writing. AT first I wasn't so sure about the past tense you were writing in, and the way you did it, but it got a lot better eventually (Forgive me, I'm a tense-freak, I think I yet I have to read a fic I haven't questioned the use of past/present tense in). I also love the way you portray the characters. Even though they're kind of different from what they are now, I can totally picture them the way you describe them! I can't wait to see how this goes, I'm a sucker for reunions and ten-years-after situation, it's like my favourite thing ever. So over to the suggestions (damn that Eli, she always has to come up with suggestions...!) Firsty, I haven't seen the movie so I wouldn't know, but I'm gonna give you the tip I give when I proofread fics based on books/movies/etc. Be VERY careful basing a fic on a movie/book/etc when you're not writing about the characters you're basing the fic on. Why? Because it's so easy to just change the characters and adjust the characters to the original storyline instead of adjusting the original storyline to the characters. Try to add your own storylines, remove original storylines, change details and make it your own! But again, for all I know you might be doing all that, as I said I haven't seen the movie so I don't have the right to judge you. I'm just trying to tell you that I know how easy it is to copy instead of base on a story, believe me, I know what I'm talking about. I'm writing a long original fic myself (unpublished) and even though it's not based on anything but my imagination I go back and remove stuff all the time because I realise it's basically plague of something I've read or seen on TV. Secondly, this is a very plucky thing, and not at all important. You should know that I wouldn't give this advice unless I though you were a really good writer who could use really small details to make your texts even better! I think you should sometimes try to split your sentences more up (but then again I guess I do it too much) For example: "Well Mattie, at least we looked super, and that was the most important thing." might have been better "Well Mattie," she said, "at least we looked super, and that was the most important thing." Thirdly, it might be just me being paranoid, but you might wanna put an SC-warning on this fic. Not because it's that bad at all, just to make sure you don't get into any trouble. Fourthly (please, please don't hate me now!) and this is more of a challenge for future fics, if you're up for that (if not, ignore this). I have read three fics by you, as far as I can remember the first one wasn't based on anything. I think the first one was the best, so I would love to see you do more fics you've come up with all by yourself. As I said you have showed that you can take a challenge and do really well (the script/non script thing), but it's all up to you. Fifthly... Nah, I'm just kidding Sorry about the novel of a comment (I think this is longer than my fanfics...) and sorry if you feel offended by my comments, I don't wanna sound harsh at all, I'm just trying to help, so please feel free to tell me to shut the hell up and I will be happy to just read and smile Looking forward to the next update
Cal Posted May 1, 2007 Report Posted May 1, 2007 Thanks, Eli. I've always had problems writing Non-script. The breaking up of the sentences, I wasn't really sure how to do it. I know that probably sounds stupid, but I didn't want the sentences to look messy. *Neat-Freak* Thanks for all the advice! (I currently have an Original Fic in the Pipeline, "Boy meets girl, Girl meets Drugs")
Eli Posted May 1, 2007 Report Posted May 1, 2007 Sounds like something I would read I only have one long original fic (tons of oneshots though) that I've been writing on for like years. I think I got the idea four years ago, and then I started writing it down two years ago. I'm glad you're not planning to torture me because of the comment (or are you secretly planning that? ). And don't worry about your non-script writing skills, they're nothing to worry about when you write as good as you do
Cal Posted May 1, 2007 Report Posted May 1, 2007 Thanks. _________________________ [Flashback] Christie and her gang stood there bopping along to the music at the Summer Bay Prom. They noticed Belle and Matilda dancing nearby. "Wow, nice outfits...", Christie said sarcastically. They both danced and ignored the snide comments thrown at them by Christie. "God", said Mattie, "This is so typical. Obviously we are the only ones who don't look like we are going to a hoe-down!" Belle laughed, "I know. This town is, like, so un-hip" They both sighed with disgust. They heard somebody tapping the microphone. It was Lily, the nerd. "OK, this is the moment we've all been waiting for. Who will be the King and Queen of the Prom?", Lily looked like a cherry, she was so red with excitement. She opened the gold envelope. She stared at it and screamed with happiness. "Christie Masters and Lucas Holden" Belle looked at Mattie, "Duh!?" Christie screamed. The crowd cheered. She walked up to the stage with Luc and they both accepted their prizes. She began to make a speech. Belle looked at Mattie, "Duh!?" Belle went over to the catering table to get some punch. While she was gone Ric came up to Mattie. "Mattie, you look beautiful. Since it's our last night of school and all, would you like to dance?" "No", Mattie walked away. He stood there, completely heart-broken. Cas walked up to him, "I'll dance with you!" He turned to her, "No, it's OK. It's no fun when you don't love the person". Cas was shocked, she was so in love with him, he just didn't know it...... Lily ran up to them, "Okay, who can name the capital of all the fifty Ameircan States!?" Cas turned to her and gave her an evil, "Okay Lily, f*ck off!" "Can't you be a little more sensitive, Cas!?", Ric was shocked to see Lily's expression. "Me? Me be more sensitive? You are a jerk-off!"
HeavenForbid Posted May 1, 2007 Report Posted May 1, 2007 He turned to her, "No, it's OK. It's no fun when you don't love the person". Lily ran up to them, "Okay, who can name the capital of all the fifty Ameircan States!?" Cas turned to her and gave her an evil, "Okay Lily, f*ck off!" "Can't you be a little more sensitive, Cas!?", Ric was shocked to see Lily's expression. "Me? Me be more sensitive? You are a jerk-off!" Those parts made me laugh. I remember them so well for the movie Fab chapter Loving this Update really soon
Traceve Posted May 2, 2007 Report Posted May 2, 2007 Great Chapters Cal! I can sort of imagine Lily as a herd, cracks me up though none the least Update soon.
Liska Posted May 2, 2007 Report Posted May 2, 2007 _________________________ "OK, this is the moment we've all been waiting for. Who will be the King and Queen of the Prom?", Lily looked like a cherry, she was so red with excitement. She opened the gold envelope. She stared at it and screamed with happiness. "Christie Masters and Lucas Holden" Belle looked at Mattie, "Duh!?" Christie screamed. The crowd cheered. She walked up to the stage with Luc and they both accepted their prizes. She began to make a speech. Belle looked at Mattie, "Duh!?" ___________________________ _____________________________ Cas walked up to him, "I'll dance with you!" He turned to her, "No, it's OK. It's no fun when you don't love the person". ___________________ ________________________________ Lily ran up to them, "Okay, who can name the capital of all the fifty Ameircan States!?" Cas turned to her and gave her an evil, "Okay Lily, f*ck off!" ___________________ I loved this parts Keep it coming and I'm looking forward to your next fic
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