Home And Away: A Bigger Threat than Osama Bin Laden? :o

[Frankie]

A absolute diatribe against Home and Away:I don't know whether to laugh or hire a hit man.

Out of their tiny moinds

By Catherine Deveny

The Age.

May 5, 2007

Home and Away is a bigger threat to our culture than Osama bin Laden will ever be

YOU'D THINK THAT 1.3 million Australians couldn't be wrong. They can. I know because I've just watched three episodes of Home and Away.

Remember what I said about McLeod's Daughters? Well, multiply that by six hundred billion. Forget the War on Terror; it's time for the War on Home and Away. The biggest threat to the fibre of our society, the lives of our children and the decimation of our culture is not Osama bin Laden or George Bush; it's this televisual atrocity.

Where do I start? I can finish the line "You know we belong together" with "You and I together forever". How is it possible for me, and you, to know all the words to the Home And Away theme song without watching one single episode? I blame the government.

The cast members' level of attractiveness is in inverse proportion to their acting ability. But it's not that these young folk can't act that I find alarming. It's that they can barely string two words together. Through the 67 excruciating minutes I kept feeling as if I was watching a sketch comedy parody of a really bad Australian soap, without the jokes.

The first episode opens with big drama at Summer Bay. Rape? Murder? International espionage? No. Someone has stolen two bottles of Scotch from the surf club. Then it's all, "Shut up Cassie", "Why would you want to hang around with a low life like me?" and "This isn't about Macca any more," (FLICKS HAIR. WALKS OFF. GOES TO BEACH. SITS ON ROCKS. LOOKS ENIGMATIC.)

I was extremely distressed that in three episodes I did not once hear Alf Stewart say "flaming mongrels". But he was in a constant state of exasperation, shaking his head and sucking air through his teeth. Irene is the character who really worries me.

The rough diamond with a heart of gold speaks fluent Aussie cliche: "Fair dinkum. How anyone could be so stupid considerin' how much grievin' this town has been goin' through is beyond me", and "What the flipping 'eck is goin' on? Are you out of your tiny moind?" Sure we need to hear Australian voices on our screens but that Australian voice?

It is impossible for Home and Away to dumb down the viewers because anyone who watches this show must be brain dead already.

"Dickheads By The Sea" is Australian content. But that doesn't explain why it is seen in more than 50 countries. It reminds me of that old Billy Crystal gag: Abe walks in to find his best friend Sol having sex with his wife. Abe says, "Sol. I have to. But you?' "

Neighbours has produced stars such as Kylie Minogue, Guy Pearce and Russell Crowe. Home and Away? Bec Cartwright.

I would rather saw off my children's limbs than let them watch this offensive insult to even the biggest moron. And if you think that I'm being too hard, tune in. But don't blame me if you end up punching a hole in the television or calling Amnesty International to report an abuse of human rights.

[Cal]

She obviously forgot that it is a soap. It's supposed to be entertaining and over the top. She must have had a stick up the ass about something.

Seeing these types of articles make me mad. I mean, who is she to rant about a show she only watched 3 episodes ?

She might have forgotten that Neighbours is surviving by the skin of it's teeth. It produced those people AGES ago. I don't see anybody flying out of it now.

Grrr.

__

Thanks for the article, Frankie.

[Cerise]

Whoever wrote that has a Problem. Like Cal said, it's a Soap and it's meant to get a bit out there which is one of the Reasons People (meaning me) love the show.

But 'twas interesting to read

[Jess]

That's actually a pretty entertaining article. Quite frankly, I feel sorry for the "journalist" who wrote this. She's quite embarrassing. I don't know if The Age is a "highbrow" publication, but if it is then why on earth are they reviewing a soap? I can't think of a single soap that would be "highbrow" enough for any of those sorts of people to find interesting. Soaps aren't meant to provide high levels of intellectual stimulation and moral standards. And if it's a more downmarket publication, then why on earth are they being so negative? All soaps are the same!

And how can you make a judgement on a soap that's been running for decades by three episodes? And if the review was purely based on a couple of episodes, then why make such generalisations? It's obvious she hasn't done much research for her piece - I don't see many references to actual current storylines.

She complains that the biggest thing that happens in Summer Bay is stealing two bottles of scotch, yet if there was rape, murder, espionage or any of the other things she mentions, we would hear people crying "unrealistic". And was she asleep when the original stalker storyline was airing? Probably, 'cos then she wouldn't have to review it and say anything nice about the show.

I don't really know what the writer was looking for in the episodes, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be able to find them in your average episode of a soap.

Me, defensive?!

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Thanks for the article, Frankie.

[ter06]

She forgot to mention Dannii Minogue, Heath Ledger, Naomi Watts, Isla Fisher, Melissa George, Kate Ritchie...the list goes on and on. I was mad when I read that article too, she must be a sad old woman with little else to do. And Australians dont need H&A reviewed...they love it already!!

[Eli]

She forgot to mention Dannii Minogue, Heath Ledger, Naomi Watts, Isla Fisher, Melissa George, Kate Ritchie...the list goes on and on. I was mad when I read that article too, she must be a sad old woman with little else to do. And Australians dont need H&A reviewed...they love it already!!

You beat me to it. Not to mention Ryan Kwanten and Chris Egan.

And about the braindead part; wacth ONE episode of The Bold and the beautiful ("Stephanie had a heart attack, and Dante yelled at Brooke because she's trying to steal Nick from her daughter Bridget, who's carrying his baby, and Thomas is in real trouble, cause Jaquelin called and told the immigration people Caitlin and her son Thomas has a proforma marriage! Oh, and we designed a dress!") and tell me Home&Away isn't a realistic soap compared to other soaps.

[Frankie]

She forgot to mention Dannii Minogue, Heath Ledger, Naomi Watts, Isla Fisher, Melissa George, Kate Ritchie...the list goes on and on. I was mad when I read that article too, she must be a sad old woman with little else to do. And Australians dont need H&A reviewed...they love it already!!

Also Julian MacMahon, Guy Pearce, Ryan Kwanton, Chris Egan..and a few more....

She came across as the worst kind of intellectual snob I thought.

[ste]

She forgot to mention Dannii Minogue, Heath Ledger, Naomi Watts, Isla Fisher, Melissa George, Kate Ritchie...the list goes on and on. I was mad when I read that article too, she must be a sad old woman with little else to do. And Australians dont need H&A reviewed...they love it already!!

Also Julian MacMahon, Guy Pearce, Ryan Kwanton, Chris Egan..and a few more....

She came across as the worst kind of intellectual snob I thought.

She's obviously quite a bad journalist, and I'm not just saying that because I'm a Home and Away fan. I've always thought that about "critics" who waffle on about something, making it sound like they have paid attention when actually they haven't. And picking out minor details to belittle with a failed attempt at dry humour. Inaccurate observations about the talents of the actors written in an obvious "making myself look intellectual by slagging off a soap" way. But really, by her own admission, she's only watched three episodes. So she's only making herself look amateurish by critiquing what she thinks the soap is, rather than actually watching it. Where was she when Sally was stabbed and the nation was on the end of their seats? Or during the stalker storyline that had viewers gripped for months, while Neighbours went from bad to worse?

As any visitors to my website know, I'm not opposed to critisising Home and Away, when it's actually based on truth, not on self indulgent tripe written by someone trying too hard to work her way up the ranks by being contraversial, but really just making herself look like a 12 year old on work experience.

[Ryan]

How can you tell she's a bad journalist based just on one article? Where were you when she wrote some good articles?

[ste]

How can you tell she's a bad journalist based just on one article? Where were you when she wrote some good articles?

I'll need dates and times in GMT and I'll tell you.