ilovekateritchie Posted May 23, 2007 Report Posted May 23, 2007 I'm glad I'm not Mark, I would have told Jen to stuff it! She talks a lot! GREAT update though!
Roccoluver Posted May 23, 2007 Report Posted May 23, 2007 thanks guys, Jen is going to be a very important character though... more will be up soon, Im just trying to fix the Mark/Irene dialouge, its awful
Reo Posted May 23, 2007 Report Posted May 23, 2007 This is a great fic,Can't wait to read more. Jen is the kind of person you want to slap and say 'Shut up!' lol But I like her,she is really different.
Roccoluver Posted May 23, 2007 Report Posted May 23, 2007 yeah, she has some history that with help her "bond" with Mark...
Reo Posted May 23, 2007 Report Posted May 23, 2007 That's good,Can't wait to read it..I like both Mark and Jen.
Roccoluver Posted May 23, 2007 Report Posted May 23, 2007 here an update, I don't like the Irene Mark bit because I can't see Irene acting that way really... but the writers change characters to fit the storyline all the time so thats what Im doing... “Idiot” his mind shouted at him, he should of just stay away from everyone like he had planned, Dominic was going to kill him if he found out. Walking out to a quiet bench looking out across the bay he collapsed on it, slumping back ignoring the uncomfortable position he was in. Looking out to sea he watched the sea gulls flocked and fly around. They didn’t have to worry about hiding secrets, or being beaten every time they made a mistake. Thinking back he smiled remembering the good times, it wasn’t till Tom left for uni that dad turned to alcohol and mum soon followed. It was like after Tom left everything fell apart. Why couldn’t he be more like Tom?. Dad was always proud of Tom, he was the role model child, never rebelling or causing trouble, always doing well at school. He was perfect. And Mark. Well he was nothing. “Hey” He turned to see Irene walk over. “I see you found my favorite little spot. It’s a good spot to think things over.” “Yeah” She smiled and looked out to the horizon. “Sometimes I was I could just escape, be free like the ocean” she said, sitting down. “Yeah, it would be nice” “That’s a good look for you” Mark turned to face Irene confused, frowning. “Huh?” “Your smile, it looks good, better than that frown that dominants your face” He looked out to sea once last time before checking his watch. “I better get going” Mark walked along the street, keeping his head low and eyes on the ground, he walked up to the local Summer Bay doctor and entered the building, ignoring the signs forbidding people to go pass into the staff area he came to Doctor L. Mentogary office, giving one knock he entered and sat down on a chair opposite the good doctor. “Mark, I wasn’t expecting to se you so soon” “I need more painkillers” “But I just signed a month dosage over to you last week…” “Yeah, just give the prescription for the painkillers’ “I don’t …” “Do it or everyone finds out about your dodgy dealings” Mark hissed over the table. “Fine, fine, but when you die of an over dose don’t come crying to me” the good doctor moaned, writing out the prescription and handing it over, Mark stuffed it in his pocket and left with out a word. Mark shut the door behind and turned to find Dominic standing behind him, a staunch look on his face, he waved his arm in the air. “I got a phone call form a Mr Armstrong, are you causing trouble already at school?” Mark rolled his eyes and walked over to check the mail, he sensed movement behind him and turned in time to get clobbered on the nose. Blood gush out, leaving a sickening trail down Mark’s shirt, the red standing out on the black material of the clothing. Dominic for a minute returned to looking like Dad, a concern look on his face before it disappeared again. “That’s what you get for turning at the wrong time, go clean up you look disgusting.” Mark walked into the bathroom, keeping a cloth over his nose to keep the blood spilling on the expensive carpet, he didn’t want to give dad.. Dominic another reason to hit him, Julie hop up and rushed to his side. “What happened?” “Dad” “Oh Mark, why do you have to get on his bad side all the time, can’t you behave for once” “Mum, why are you defending him” She looked carefully at his nose “Nothing seems broken, thank god” “Mum..” “Clean up will you, I better get dinner on” Mark sighed as Julie rushed off to the kitchen ‘Right, of course” he looked in the mirror “Your pathetic” he said quietly before taking a hand full of painkillers and jumping into a cold shower. tell me what you think... More Jen next Chapter
Reo Posted May 23, 2007 Report Posted May 23, 2007 That was great,poor Mark I see what you mean about the Irene and Mark scene,it's not her normal self,but I do see her acting that way if it is to try and get someone to open up to her. Can't wait to read more. Yay! More Jen.
Guest [x]whacko[x]jen[x] Posted May 24, 2007 Report Posted May 24, 2007 man that Jen character is annoying great update update soon I'm the "Jen" in the story! Does that mean I'm annoying? Jen xx Great fic by the way Jane.
Roccoluver Posted May 24, 2007 Report Posted May 24, 2007 man that Jen character is annoying great update update soon I'm the "Jen" in the story! Does that mean I'm annoying? Jen xx Great fic by the way Jane. Yes Jen you are annoying, but in a good way. More will be up soon, Im deciding who will die later...
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