Frankie Posted June 27, 2007 Report Posted June 27, 2007 Great writing Coco... an excellent follow up to your competition success.
bttb-rox! Posted June 28, 2007 Report Posted June 28, 2007 Thank you so much, Zetti, Frankie and Jane! I've written LOADS of new chapters, so I will update soon. I'm in a real writing mood at the moment - plenty of creative juices are flowing .
bttb-rox! Posted June 29, 2007 Report Posted June 29, 2007 Chapter 18 Jonathan: I’ll phone you later. I have to go. Susan: Okay, bye. Susan puts her phone down and starts driving INT – BETH’S CAR – DAY Beth: I think I’m going to go home, sweet. Do you want to come? Matilda: I might stay...but I’ll come if you want me too. Beth: No, you stay if you want to, darling. Matilda: Okay. About the Tony thing, I’m sure whoever this Sophie girl is she is just an old friend or something. Beth doesn’t say anything. She just drives off, leaving Matilda in the car park. Mattie walks back into the hospital. EXT – A RURAL LOCATION – DAY Susan is standing just outside her car when a car pulls up and stops. Susan goes over and sits in the car. INT – JONATHAN'S CAR – DAY Jonathan: What was it that you need to talk to me about? Susan: It’s Ollie. Jonathan: What about him? Susan: He is in Summer Bay. Jonathan: What an earth is he doing there?! Susan: A woman called Sally Fletcher came up to me a while ago and showed me a photo of someone. The person in the photo was me. Sally asked if I knew anyone called Oliver Robson, and I said yes. She would have found out the truth sooner or later. Jonathan: So you told her you were his mother? Susan: Yes. In some ways I wish I hadn’t, because this Sally woman said that she was looking after Ollie. What he is now doing at my sister's place I don’t know. Jonathan: Do you think he knows you're alive? Susan: To be honest, I haven’t got a clue. But I can just imagine that woman told him. She was just the type who would do that sort of thing…gossip around to everyone. Jonathan: How come Ollie didn’t recognize you from the photo? Susan: The picture she showed me was from a long time ago. He would never have been able to recognize me. Don’t ask me how that Sally knew who I was. Jonathan: So why do you want me involved? Susan: You're Ollie’s father. I’m sure you can think of what I can do. Jonathan: Sorry, I’m not following. Susan: I mean, what should I do? I can’t just live under the same roof as him and pretend like everything is normal. He's my son! Jonathan: Just calm down a bit, okay. I’ll sort something out. They drive off
bttb-rox! Posted June 30, 2007 Report Posted June 30, 2007 Now you can find out ... Chapter 19 INT – HANNAN’S HOUSE – DAY Hannah: We’ve run out of milk, so I’m going to have to go out and get some. Do you want to come, Ollie? Ollie: Sure. Just give me 10 minutes to get dressed. Hannah: Great. It'll give you a chance to get to know the area a bit better. Ollie: Yeah, it's nice around here. Hannah: Well, I’ll be waiting down here when you're ready. Ollie: Cool. I won’t be long. Ollie runs off up stairs, while Hannah gets her car keys from the kitchen. INT – NDH – DAY Jack, Martha, Lucas and Matilda are in the hospital room with Tony. Jack: So, I bet you're looking forward to getting out of this place? Tony: Can’t say I’m not, mate. Lucas: Well, I’m sure you’ll be out soon. Martha: You have to be out in time for the wedding, remember! Tony: Oh, don’t you worry about that. I will be! They all smile Lucas: You haven’t said much, Mattie, are you alright? Matilda: Yeah, I’m fine. I might just go and get a drink. Lucas: Okay, well I’ll come with you. Lucas and Matilda leave the room Jack: Actually, I was just thinking that you might not want to get home, dad. Tony: Why’s that? Jack: Beth’s got a list of jobs she needs doing around the house... Tony: Ha, very funny. Jack:...Are you okay, dad? Tony: I'm fine, mate. I just want to get out of this place. Martha: We understand. Why don’t me and Jack leave you in peace? You could probably do with getting some more rest. Jack: Good idea. I think I’ll grab something to eat from the diner on the way home. Tony: Don’t forget to bring me back a coffee, will you? Jack: In your dreams, dad! They laugh. Jack and Martha leave the room INT – NDH – OUTSIDE OF THE HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY Matilda and Lucas are sitting in the waiting area. Lucas: Mattie, you’ve been looking at the wall for about five minutes. What's going on? Matilda: It's nothing. Lucas: You can’t fool me that easily. I know something’s up. What is it? Matilda: Has your dad got a friend called Sophie? Lucas: Sophie? I don’t think so. But he might have, I don’t know. Why do you ask? Matilda: When Tony woke up after the fire, mum said that he called out a name…Sophie. Lucas: Well, he had just woken up. Matilda: But when mum asked him if he knew anyone called Sophie he said that she was just a friend. Lucas: That is a bit odd. Matilda: I mean, you’re his son and you usually know who your dad is friends with. Mum's convinced that there's more to it.
bttb-rox! Posted July 5, 2007 Report Posted July 5, 2007 Chapter 20 INT – THE HUNTER HOUSE – DAY Beth is sitting on the sofa, watching television. She turns it off and just stares at a picture of her and Tony on the cabinet. Tears start to form in her eyes. INT – HANNAH’S HOUSE – DAY Ollie runs down the stairs. Hannah: I was beginning to think you'd forgotten. Ollie: Sorry about that. I couldn’t find any socks! Hannah: Ah, that's another thing you have in common with Nicky! They laugh Ollie: Right, I’m ready Hannah: Great. Let's go. Bye, Nicky! Nicky: Bye, mum! Hannah and Ollie walk through the front door. They drive off. INT – THE SUMMER BAY CARAVAN PARK HOUSE – EARLY AFTERNOON Sally is feeding baby Pippa. Sally: There you go. That didn’t taste that bad, did it? Brad: (in a silly voice) It was lovely, mummy They both laugh Sally: Brad? Brad: Yeah. Sally: Do you think we'll hear from Ollie soon? Brad: I think we need to give it some more time. He's still in shock. He just needs a bit of time to get his head around all of this. Sally: I can’t help thinking that we let him down, though. Brad: Sally, we did not let him down. You did not let him down. Ollie was the one who made the decision to leave, so it's just a case of wait and see as to whether he shows up. Sally: That’s what i’m worried about. What if he doesn’t show up? Brad: As I said, he just needs time. Us worrying about him isn’t going to do any good, is it? Sally: I know. Thank you for being so supportive throughout all of this. You’ve been amazing. Brad: Well, you haven’t been too bad yourself. Brad moves closer to Sally and kisses her INT – RURAL LOCATION – EARLY AFTEROON Susan and Jonathan arrive at a barn that has been converted into a house. They get out of the car.
bttb-rox! Posted July 11, 2007 Report Posted July 11, 2007 Chapter 21 Susan: What is this? Jonathan: It’s a house. Well, technically, it’s a barn…but it's been converted into a house. Susan: Right, and what are we doing here? Jonathan: This is where you can stay. Susan: Whose is it? Jonathan: An old mate of mine used to live here until he went to live overseas for a while. He said I could look after it. He won’t mind if you stay a couple of days. Susan: How am I going to tell Hannah that I’m moving out, though? I’m supposed to be helping her with setting up the adoption centre. Jonathan: You could just say that you’re going away for a couple of days to get a break before you put in all the hard work. Susan: Yeah, I guess. Jonathan unlocks the front door and they go inside INT – THE HOUSE – EARLY AFTERNOON Susan: When was the last time this place was cleaned out? Jonathan: That’s a good question. Susan: Well let’s open up some windows or something...it's boiling in here. INT – HANNAH’S CAR – EARLY AFTERNOON Hannah: So, do you think you'll call your foster mother today? Ollie: I don’t know. I might wait and see. Hannah: Okay, well feel free to use our phone if you want to. Ollie: Thanks, I’ve got my mobile, though. Hannah: I should have guessed what with you being from the technological generation and all. They laugh Hannah: Well, here we are. Sometimes we head into Summer Bay to get the shopping, but it’s nice to go and see local places too. They get out of the car and walk into the shops INT – THE DINER – EARLY AFRERNOON Jack and Martha walk into the diner. Jack orders at the front. Jack: Two coffees please, Irene Irene: Coming right up. How’s your dad doing, by the way? Jack: Better. Yeah, he's awake and talking and everything. Irene: Ah, that’s great news, dahl. Tell him I said hi when you see him. Jack: Will do. Irene: I bet you guys are getting excited what with the wedding being so close! Martha: I’m more nervous than excited right now. I just want everything to be perfect. Jack: Everything will be perfect, I promise. They kiss Irene: Here you go. Irene passes the coffees to Jack Martha: Thank you, you’re a legend. Jack: Thanks, Martha. Martha: Not you, Irene! Jack: Oh! Martha: You are such an idiot sometimes! But that's one of the reasons why I love you... Martha smiles at Jack before walking out of the diner. EXT - THE DINER - EARLY AFTERNOON Martha: I can't believe that in a few weeks time you are going to be my husband. Jack: I can't believe that you're going to be my wife! They both stop and face each other. They both hold hands. Martha: You're not going to try and remember your vows here are you?! Jack: No, no! I just want you to know that I couldn't be happier and even though I am more nervous than I think I have ever been about getting married, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but with you. Martha: Jack, that is so sweet. Let's see if you can win me over that much on the day, then. They both laugh and start walking down to the beach Martha: Our wedding is going to be magical. I can feel it. Nothing is going to ruin it. They both smile and kiss each other before walking off. Someone is hiding behind a tree holding a photo of Jack and Martha.
Roccoluver Posted July 11, 2007 Report Posted July 11, 2007 just caught up again, great updates, why is Susan running away? silly woman, she should be glad she has a child (she could always give him to Rachel...) Is the Sophie lady part of the whole Ollie story, mmm I wonder.... update soon P.S for a second I thought you had put Jack and Irene together
bttb-rox! Posted July 11, 2007 Report Posted July 11, 2007 Thanks, Jane! I'm going to give you a little teaser: Sophie isn't who Tony is making her out to be at all. All will be revealed...but not yet . Jack and Irene - I'll hopefully update either tommorow or the day after...
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