swfc Posted June 18, 2007 Report Posted June 18, 2007 Loving the new format of the fic, Drew. It's interesting and different. Also, love how you have Sally doing the voiceover... Reminds me like DH and GA. Chapter 1: So many secrets.... Loving the mystery. There are some funny moments in there as well- J/M reuniting and the faceless man. It's kinda crappy about Jack being run over. Drew doing drugs.... Interesting to say the least.... Wonder what Emanuel Gillian is up to... Oh, and Ric/Luc waking up in the same bed = priceless! Definitely can't wait to read the next bit. Chapter 2: Once again, Luc/Ric scene was hillarious. Nicely done, Drew. Nice to see Hugh's in this fic. Oh, and Martha's pregnant? Niiice.... It gets more and more interesting. Wonder what sinister plan Emanuel has in store for Irene. I sincerely hope he doesn't do anything to her. Poor Cassie. Where's Jules? And, omg, the father of Martha's baby is Hugh? Talk about scandal. You've definitely got me hooked. And, thanks for the explanation bit about this story. Was getting a tad bit confused. Chapter 3: Oh boy... Someone's not happy after hearing about the "results of that one night stand" with Martha.... Not a good sign at all... Yikes.. Poor Tony... He tends to spend most of his time in hospitals keeping a bedside vigil on Jack.... But, it's true tho. He's got a hard head and is really tough. And, crap, Rachel found out. Not good. Aw, Lelle are back on again. Best news ever lol. Seems like Luc has some issues about Jack... Can't blame him... Jack's always been a cause for concern to everyone [and I mean it in a nice way] And, she found out... Crap... And they were perfect. I really hope we don't get a repeat of Kim/Kit thing because it's annoying. The mystery of Emanuel's plot thickens.... I love it... Mysterious... Chapter 4: Feeling really bad for Rach/Hugh now... Love the Hugh/Tony scene. Hugh really knows Rachel extremely well. And, poor Hugh is in the doghouse... But, what Rach said is so true. So, can't blame her. Once again, love how Tony comes and saves the day. Belle is like mini Nancy Drew I tell you. But, she's so accurate at times that it's a tad bit annoying. And, omg, Hugh's related to the Gillians! So did not see that one coming. Nice one, dude. And, you've answered some questions already with the Tony/Hugh talk. I'm loving how the plot thickens... It's intriguing and mysterious. Great, what's up with Peter Baker now? Always running off to be a hero lol... Can't wait to find out more about his so called "mysterious" disappearance. I don't like the cliffhanger ending for this chapter about the date. But, I'm loving how you ended it. I swear, this chapter has more drama than anything. Something which I love. Chapter 5: Ah, so Jules is a druggie after all... Tsk tsk lol What's with Maddie/Belle walking and holding hands? Cute yet funny at the same time. Lol, Jules and the global warming comment was funny. Ric's reaction to Maddie telling him about Lexi was typical guy. Ah, and the plot thickens... Jules has a connection to the Gillians. Typical... Knew he'd run away... As always... And he knows something and isn't letting on... Ah, the Milano's are finally here... Well, the daughter at least... Interesting... Can't wait to find out more... Chapter 6: Lol, Ric/Drew perving and Ric getting whacked... Hillarious. You're getting me confused now, Drew.... Is it Milano or Halliwell? Aw, Cassie/Maddie scene was so sad and awwww.... Jules/older woman?!? Didn't see that coming. ********************* All in all, loving this fic so far... You've definitely got me hooked and I can't wait to read more. Update soon.
Drew Posted June 18, 2007 Report Posted June 18, 2007 Thanks Chrissie for that extended comment Much appreciated! It's Milano! When I first plotted Lexi and Jess Milano they had different names, something like Michelle and Olivia Halliwell, but I changed it. So it's Lexi Milano, Jess Milano and Milano Designs, not Halliwell
Oxidizer Posted June 18, 2007 Report Posted June 18, 2007 Worth the wait! The plot's moving slowly but surely - one of those slow burning stories that builds up to a big climax - I like those. Gotta update again soon, dude! This is great.
Drew Posted June 18, 2007 Report Posted June 18, 2007 The plot is moving slowly But there's three massive plots. They've all started, this is the only one that's taken off so far The next chapter is when the stories begin to take off with the arrival of Lexi.
swfc Posted June 19, 2007 Report Posted June 19, 2007 Thanks Chrissie for that extended comment Much appreciated! You're welcome. Cannot wait for more.
Drew Posted June 19, 2007 Report Posted June 19, 2007 PREVIOUSLY IN SUMMER BAY Martha and Hugh had sex. Martha pissed on a stick. Martha pregnant. Martha told Hugh- Rachel overheard. Rachel dug her claws into Hugh. Hugh moved into Tony’s. Oh, who by the way appeared to be his long lost uncle. Meanwhile on the other side of the dramas, Dan received a call from Amanda, Peter is missing! Emanuel continued his streak of revenge as Jules slept with an older woman and Matilda and Belle got all excited when news broke out that their idol was moving to town. CHAPTER SEVEN EXT. THE BEACH – MORNING [Hugh runs out of the surf with Tony with their boards] TONY: Not so much action happening this morning, hey mate. HUGH: Ah, it’s always this dead every time I decide to come down for a surf. TONY: I’m going to the hospital after breakfast to see Jack, would you like a lift to work? HUGH: Ah yeah, that will be great. [Hugh sees Rachel staring at them, at the top of the beach] Be right back Tony. [Hugh runs up the beach to talk to Rachel] Hey Rach. [Rachel smiles] RACHEL: How’s the surf? HUGH: Flat as. How are you? RACHEL: I could be better. [Rachel weakly smiles, as there’s an awkward silence] HUGH: Are you working today? RACHEL: Late afternoon, I have a night shift. HUGH: Oh… So, when are we going to talk? RACHEL: About what? HUGH: You know what Rachel. We have to sort this out. RACHEL: Can’t we put it off for a few weeks? HUGH: Why? Why not now? RACHEL: Because I’m still in shock, and if I heat up now about this subject I might end up doing something I’ll regret. HUGH: Okay, okay. Whenever you’re ready… I know this is incredibly hard for you, but just so you know, there’s nothing going on between Martha and I. [Hugh smiles as he walks off, meeting Tony up ahead. Rachel sighs as she turns around and looks out back into the ocean] INT. NOAH’S BAR – DAY [Martha is finishing cleaning up, Rachel walks up to the bar and freezes when she sees Martha there. Martha looks up and notices Rachel staring at her] MARTHA: Rachel… How are you doing? RACHEL: Can I please get a tropical juice to go. MARTHA: Yeah, I’ll go get Grandad to make it for you, I’m finished for the day, I start a new job in a few hours. [Martha says excitingly] RACHEL: Really, that’s nice. [Rachel says as she pays Martha] MARTHA: Rachel, I know that you’re extremely angry at Hugh, but you have to understand, none of this was his fault. RACHEL: So it wasn’t his fault that he jumped into bed with you and got you pregnant? MARTHA: Rachel, we were drunk, we weren’t in the right state of mind. It wasn’t as if I wanted Hugh and I to get intimate, we’re good friends! [Rachel feels disgusted and walks off] Rachel, Rachel! [Martha runs off] EXT. THE SURF CLUB – DAY MARTHA: Rachel, please! Can we talk about this!? RACHEL: Oh, I am so sick of talking! I don’t want to talk about it! MARTHA: Rachel, your boyfriend is expecting a baby in seven months! You have to be prepared for this! [Rachel seems furious] RACHEL: He is not my boyfriend! Not after what he had done to me! MARTHA: Rachel, you are blowing this way out of proportion! RACHEL: I’ve already been through this already Martha and I am not prepared to go through it again! Don’t you dare stand there and expect me to accept this as if it happens in our lives daily! I will deal with it in my own space and time! MARTHA: Rachel, I can see that you’re angry, you shouldn’t be angry with Hugh, you should be angry with me! [Rachel shakes her head] RACHEL: The only person I am angry at is Hugh. He cheated on me and he impregnated you- MARTHA: Well don’t take your anger out on him because he’s so upset over this! If you’re going to take your anger out on something, take it out- [Rachel quickly slaps Martha] What are you crazy? RACHEL: Leave me alone Martha! Keep your frisky little paws away from me! Just because you can’t woe back Jack doesn’t mean that you have to go to the next best thing and steal Hugh away from me! [Martha sighs, sounding desperate] MARTHA: I didn’t lure Hugh in bed you idiot! He came onto me! [Rachel slaps Martha again. Martha grunts and tackles Rachel to the ground. The two begin to roll around with Martha on top as they pull each other’s hair] RACHEL: Get off me! [Alf comes running out of the Surf Club with Rachel’s juice] ALF: Martha! Get off her! [Alf puts the juice down and grabs Martha] What the hell has gotten into you? Leave her alone. MARTHA: We are not finished here! [Martha grabs the juice and throws it over Rachel] RACHEL: Oh my God! ALF: Martha get the hell out of here! You have a new job to get to! [Martha sighs and walks off as Alf helps Rachel clean up] INT. THE PATTERSON/BAKER HOUSE / KITCHEN – DAY [There’s a knock at the door, Drew opens the door] DREW: Amanda? [Amanda is standing at the door, looking exhausted and drained of energy] What are you doing here? AMANDA: Is Dan home? DREW: No, why? AMANDA: We need to talk. It’s about Peter. [Amanda walks in as Drew slowly closes the door behind him] EXT. THE BEACH – DAY [Emanuel is driving past the beach slowly, someone catches his eye- Hugh. He parks in the car park as he watches Hugh meeting up with Martha] HUGH: Hey. MARTHA: I don’t know how you can stand her. HUGH: Who? MARTHA: Rachel! HUGH: What happened? MARTHA: We got into a fight. HUGH: Oh no. What did she say? MARTHA: Look, I don’t want to talk about it. I have a new job to get to and I’m already late. HUGH: Really? What are you doing? MARTHA: I’m an assistant. HUGH: An assistant? For what? [From the car park, Emanuel smiles as he continues to watch Hugh] EXT. MILANO DESIGNS / OUTSIDE – DAY [The outside of the building is swamped with people from the tabloids and fans. Belle and Matilda are standing in the crowd] MATILDA: I can’t believe she’s here! BELLE: Yeah but when is she going to get here? MATILDA: Oh my God! We should so totally ask Jess if we can be models for Milano Designs! BELLE: [belle laughs] I highly doubt that Matilda! We’ll be lucky enough to meet her, little alone work for her! [A car pulls up, a woman gets out of the limo, people start to scream] She’s here! [The girls begin to scream as Lexi begins to walk through the crowd. All that Belle and Matilda can see of her is the back of her head. Lexi’s assistant runs up to her] MATILDA: Oh my god, is that Martha? [belle and Matilda look at each other weirdly as Martha and Lexi walk through the front doors of Milano Designs] INT. MILANO DESIGNS / LEXI’S OFFICE [The doors of the elevator open. Lexi walks out with Martha behind her- Lexi is the woman who Jules met at the bar, who he later slept with] MARTHA: I bumped your one o’clock appointment to your two o’clock. You’re two o’clock to three o’clock and you’re three o’clock to four. LEXI: Anything else? MARTHA: A lady called J.R called, she seemed eager to meet, wanting to know about the financial situations for the upcoming launch. [Lexi seems worried] LEXI: Call her back, and say that we can’t meet. MARTHA: Well she seemed really desperate to meet up with you. LEXI: Martha, don’t lie, otherwise you’re going to grow a nose the size of a broomstick. MARTHA: Well then what shall I say to her? [Lexi looks at her with a stupid look] For an excuse I mean. LEXI: Tell her I died or something. MARTHA: But then wouldn’t she see your photo’s in the magazines? LEXI: Then tell her I was resurrected. Be creative Martha, that’s what we’re all about here at Milano Designs. MARTHA: Yes ma’am. [Lexi and Martha enter Lexi’s office] LEXI: Martha, don’t call me ma’am I’m not your Grandmother. MARTHA: Okay. LEXI: And Martha, you’re no sheep, and I’m no Shepard. Stop following me, go back to your desk and leave me alone. MARTHA: Alright then. [Martha seems awkward] LEXI: And get me a coffee! EXT. THE HOLDEN HOUSE / OUTSIDE – SUNSET [Across the street, Emanuel is watching the house from his car. He sees Hugh arriving home and gets out. Hugh not paying attention, Emanuel runs up to him] EMANUEL: Hello little brother. [Hugh freezes and slowly turns around in fright] HUGH: Emanuel? EMANUEL: You seem a little surprised to see me. [Emanuel smiles and he places his arm around Hugh] How long has it been? Eighteen? Nineteen years? HUGH: What are you doing here? EMANUEL: I just came to see my little brother. He never came to visit me in prison, so I though, hey? I’ll come to you instead. HUGH: You were sent to prison for over twenty years! EMANUEL: Yeah, well I’m off on parole. Denny is out as well. [Emanuel smiles as Hugh seems extremely full of shock] But I wouldn’t worry, he’s dead now. HUGH: Dennis is dead? EMANUEL: Not that you would care… But yes. HUGH: How? EMANUEL: Why would you want to know? HUGH: Because he’s my brother Manny! [Emanuel laughs with himself] EMANUEL: He was your brother? How dare you say such a thing after you bailed on your own family all those years ago, after you backstabbed every one of us to get sent to jail! HUGH: I was a young kid back then, I didn’t know half the things I was doing. I’m sorry. EMANUEL: Yeah, not as sorry as I’m going to be. HUGH: What does that mean? [Emanuel stares at the setting sun] EMANUEL: I better be off. I just thought I’ll come around and let you know that I just moved to town. HUGH: You moved here? EMANUEL: Yeah, a nice place like this? Who wouldn’t? [Emanuel smiles as he walks back to his car] Watch your back, mind you Hugh, you never know what surprises will be install for you! [Emanuel laughs as he gets in his car and drives off. Hugh seems full of shock as he just stands there, watching Emanuel drive off] HUGH: Oh God. INT. THE PATTERSON/BAKER HOUSE / LOUNGE ROOM – NIGHT [Amanda, Drew and Leah are sitting on the lounge as Dan walks in] DAN: Amanda? What are you doing here? [Amanda gets up, all teary] AMANDA: It’s about Pete. [Leah gets up, also sulking and hugs Dan] DAN: What is it? Is he okay? AMANDA: I received a call this morning. [Amanda begins to weep harder] DAN: Amanda, please. DREW: Claire called. Dad was with her. DAN: And? AMANDA: He’s not coming back… TBC + Peter’s fate is revealed + Martha reveals her devastating secret to the family- yet another overhears + Emanuel is told some shocking news just as he prepares to wipe off his next target + Will Jack ever wake up?
~Rosey~ Posted June 19, 2007 Report Posted June 19, 2007 Martha and Hugh had sex. Martha pissed on a stick. Martha pregnant. Martha told Hugh- Rachel overheard. Rachel dug her claws into Hugh. Martha was so evil in that chapter! Update soon.
Tasha Posted June 19, 2007 Report Posted June 19, 2007 Martha and Hugh had sex. Martha pissed on a stick. Martha pregnant. I love that Ok Martha shouldnt be rolling around the ground fight without another woman, its not good for the baby, gosh, i thought she'd be smarter than that Martha and Lexi reminds me of Lexi and Maria in Fashion House Manny is evil, poor Huhgy. Protect Martha and the baby im telling you. Martha hasnt told anyone about the baby yet?? Martha's having Jack's cousin That is hilarious Peter's dead -cries- Or did he go back to Claire and they're going to live happily ever after? Great chapter. More please
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