You Look, But You Don't See

[Barbara]

Oh no, Jack might never walk again.

He shouldn't push Martha away. She loves him, whether he can walk or not. She will always be there for him.

Kim held Carla in his arms. How sweet!

More please.

[pamy]

Chapter 42: I don't want you here

Jack woke up. Hoping that it had all been a nightmare. That he was normal. That there was nothing wrong with him. That they never got into the accident. That he wasn't all alone. Opening his eyes he found himself in the white hospital room. And he knew. The nightmare, wasn't a nightmare at all. It was his life. And he felt alone. And angry. At everybody.

He closed his eyes again. One second. That's how long it took to change everything. Because the second the doctor told him what was wrong with him, his entier world broke down. Every dream he once had, everything he had hoped for was gone. Even Martha. She didn't love him, how could she love him. How could she love him if he could never give her a normal lif? No. Everything was better like this.

Martha sat on the beach. Staring at the ocean. It had only been two days since she last saw Jack. But nothing had changed. He wouldn't see her. And everytime the nurse told her, she felt her hearth break again. She couldn't understand why this was happening. She loved him. More than anything in this world. Couldn't he udnerstand that she loved him no matter what? That everything was going to be alrigth? That she just wanted to be there for him?

THoughts kept running trough his mind. Emotions overwelmed her. Tears rolled over her cheeks. She closed her eyes. GET OUT! Leave me alone. You don't love me. She kept hearing Jack's voice. How could he ever think she wouldn't love him anymore? How could he even consider that this would change anything? Because it didn't. No matter what happened she would always love him. He just needs some time. She hoped her brother was right. That all he needed was some time. Just time.

Robbie stared at the ceiling. He had been lying in this bed for a long time. He knew his family was just worried about him but still...He felt tat if he would lie one more second in his bed he would go crazy. More importantly if he spend one more second without Tasha he would go more thatn crazy. He closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath he tried to gather strenth. He sat up on his bed just to fall back down. Bad idea. Maybe he should just wait for a little while longer. Till somebody was home to help him.

Tasha turned around in her bed. Or at least she tried. She wanted to go outside. She needed fresh air. Sunlight. Robbie. Last one was the most important thing she needed. She closed her eyes. It had been bad enough when Irene was taking care of her. But ever since her brother arrived everything had gotten worse. She loved her brother. She really did. But enough was enough. She couldn't even leave her bed to go to the bathroom. She smiled. He loved her and he wanted to protect her. She understood. But she wanted Robbie. Now.

Kim looked at the door. At the other side of that door his former best friend lied in a bed. He sighed. Maybe he shouldn't go in there. But he needed to talk to him. He needed to know if he was alright. He just...It was tupid but somehow he still hoped that they could be friends again. But he hesitated. He had just heard what was wrong with Jack and...It wasn't the best time to try and talk to him. It really wasn't.

He heart the door open but he didn't look up. Probably another doctor or nurse. He knew it wasn't Martha. He had told the nurses not to let her in. But it wasn't a doctor or a nurse. It was Kim. And for the smallest second it seemed like they were still best friends. 'Hey. How you doing?' 'How do you think I'm doing.' He looked down. He took a deep breath. 'Look I know this isn't easy for you but I'm here if you need me?' 'What do you want Kim?' 'Nothing. I want to help you. If you let me.'

Jack looked at Kim. He almost believed him when he said he didn't want anything. It seemed so unlike Kim. The Kim he had once knew always wanted something. Something for himself. Now he almost seemed honest when he told him he just wanted to help him. He shook his head slightly. He didn't want anyone's help. He didn't want to be a pain for anyone. 'Go away.' 'Jack...' 'I don't want your pity.' 'Pity? I've been your best friend for as long as I can remember. And you thing that after all this time all that brought me here was pity? Please. Regret. Yes. Pain. Yes. Frienship. Yes. But not pity. I don't feel sorry for you. And if that's what you think that you're not as smart as I always thought you were.'

'I don't want your help.' 'To bad. Because I'm here to stay.' 'I don't want you here. Can't you understand that.' 'Look. I understand that you're feeling bad. But pushing everybody away is not going to do you any good.' 'Look. If you want me to thank you for saving my life then fine. Thank you. Now go away.' Kim shook his head. This wasn't getting him anywhere. 'I saw Martha run past the other day. You pushed her away to?' Jack looked at him. 'You don't need to answer that. Why would you do that. She loves you.' 'No she doesn't.'

Silence followed Jack's words. For a minute Kim didn't know what to say. But then he realised thatf if he would let it go at that moment everything would go wrong. 'Is that what you think? How can yout think that? After everything that happened between you two. After last year, you seriously think she doesn't love you?' 'Look at me. I'm a freak.' 'You're not a freak. You had an accident. This is not...Look. Didn't you learn anything? Didn't you listen to what the teacher was trying to tell us? That it doesn't matter how different we are, or what happens to us. We can all get along. It doesn't matter if we're rich, poor, popular, not popular, walking or not, black or white, we can get along. We should get along. Look I'm the slowest learner in the world, it took me a whole year and my best friend for that lesson to get trough my head. But it did. And I can't believe that you don't see it. Martha loves you man. No matter what.'

Silence followed Kim's speech. Jack seemed unable to find a respnse to it. And Kim didn't exactly know how to go on. The only thing that penatrated the silence was the beeps from the hearth machine. Telling Kim that Jack was at least still alive. 'Is that all you came to say?' 'Yeah.' 'Than you can go now.' 'Jack.' 'Go away. I don't want you here. So please just go away.'

Slowely Kim got up and walked to the door. Before walking out he turned around one more time. 'Look. You have my number. I'm there if you want to talk to me. Or you want to yell at me. I'm only a phone call away. And the same could be said about Martha. Just one phone call man.'

Soflty Kim closed the door behind him. He sighed. It had taken him a long time to realise the truth. He just hoped that some of what he said got trough to Jack. And that he was a faster learner then he was.

Jack looked at the closed door. He couldn't believe it had been Kim that had said all those things to him. Could he be right? No. Martha couldn't love. Nobody could. He closed his eyes again. Hoping against better knowledge that everything was going to be alright. That it was all a nightmare.

[Barbara]

I loved the way you described Jack's feelings.

Why wouldn't Martha love him? She didn't start dating him because he could walk.

Kim's speech was amazing. I can't believe he actually said all these things. He really has changed.

If only Jack would believe Kim.

More please.

[dee83]

i hope kim has got through 2 him & he changes his mind

update soon

[pamy]

Chapter 43: Together

He stood on the beach. He was alone. Just like he should be. Nobody loved him. Nobody cared. He looked around. He saw a person standing not to far from him. He wanted to run to her, but his legs didn’t listen. He screamed, but he had no voice. All he could do was stand there and see her disappear from his life. He screamed. But the louder he screamed her name, the further away she disappeared. She was gone. And she was not coming back. ‘Martha!’…

He woke up. It took him a couple of seconds to remember where he was. What he was doing there. But the knowledge of what had happened flashed trough his mind almost immediately. He looked around. He had thought he was alone at first. But in a chair next to the bed he saw his dad. Fast asleep. He sighed. He didn’t know what to do anymore. He still believed that nobody would love him now. But somehow what Kim had said actually made sense to. He shook his head. When had listening to Kim ever brought him good luck? All it had brought him was trouble. He was alone. And he would just have to get used to it.

She sat on the cold grass. Looking at the burning car. She wanted to run to it. She wanted to scream. She wanted to hug him. But she couldn’t. All she could do was sit there. Sit there and watch how slowly Jack disappeared from her life. She screamed again. But he couldn’t hear her. She screamed and screamed. And nothing happened. Before she knew it the entire world turned black. It was a world without Jack…

She woke up. It took her a couple of seconds to remember why she felt so bad. But everything that had happened came to mind pretty quick. All she could really remember was Jack throwing her out. Jack not wanting to be with her. How could he ever think she wouldn’t love him anymore? She had loved him since the first second she saw him. On the beach. And now he thought she didn’t care. That it would matter what had happened to him. But it didn’t. She loved him anyway. Why couldn’t he see that? Why couldn’t he understand that?

Two boys sat on the beach. Playing. They were having the time of their lives. Nothing to worry about. They were just kid. All that mattered to them was that they could play. That they had each other. ‘Best friends forever?’ The other kids smiled. ‘Best friends forever.’

Kim looked at the ocean. He remembered that day as if it was yesterday. The day they had declared to be best friends forever. To bad forever fell short. It was all his fault. He knew that. How could he ever have been so stupid? Staring at the ocean he hoped. He hoped that Jack would understand what he had told him. That it would fix things with Martha. And maybe if that happened there would be the smallest chance that they could be friends again. He just needed a chance.

Carla found herself thinking of Kim again. Ever since he had hold her in his arms she couldn’t help but think. Maybe if she would just tell him? Everything will be alright. The old Kim was gone. The new one was different. The new one wouldn’t laugh with her. The new one might love her back. She had woken up that day in his arms and she had never felt so protected. So loved. Could she tell him? Should she tell him? Could she really love him that much? Could he love her?

Robbie stared at the tv. He had finally convinced his mum to let him out of his room. Out of his bed. Only to end up on the couch. Watching TV. It wouldn’t have been so bad. Except that there was nothing interesting on. And that he was alone. He was still far away from Tasha. He knew his mum was worried about him. That she wanted to make sure he was alright. But he just wanted to be close to Tasha. He just wanted to hold her in his arms. He would just have to wait. Wait to get better. And he hoped that would be sooner rather than later.

Tasha flipped trough the picture book. Dylan had helped her make it. It was filled with pictures of her and Robbie. And Mac and Jack. She stopped when she reached a picture they took on the night of the prom. The four of them together. Smiling. In love. That was before something happened. Before everything went so wrong. She couldn’t help but feel sorry for Jack. She hoped everything would turn out ok. And that in the near future they would stand like that again. The four of them together.

[Barbara]

This time, Jack should really listen to Kim. He's right for once.

Maybe Jack is really hurt but that doesn't mean his dad, Martha and his friends don't love him. He's going to need them to get throught this.

Carla should tell Kim how she feels.

More please.

[pamy]

Chapter 44: My son

Jack stared a the ceiling. He hated the white walls. The white ceiling. It was to bright. Why was everything in a hospital so bright? To compensate for all the bad news? He shook his head. He still couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He tried to move again. And for the thousand time came to the conclusion that he couldn’t. He would really never walk again. He would never be with Martha again. Nobody loved him. He would have to live his life alone.

Martha stared at her milkshake. She knew Jack was doing alright. At least it was something. But days had passed since she’d actually seen him. And it was killing her. Killing her that he actually thought she wouldn’t love him. Didn’t he learn that she loved him? Not the fact that he was popular, not that he could walk not that he was good at basket ball. But she loved him. The person. Couldn’t he see that?

Tasha found herself looking at the pictures again. She sighed. She still couldn’t believe it was only a week ago they were so happy. What had they done to deserve this? She looked up when she heart somebody say her name. She smiled when she saw Robbie come in. Helped by Scott. It took forever but he finally sat down beside her. She felt his strong arms around her. She gave him a soft kiss. She had missed him. She had missed him so much.

Robbie smiled. It had taken him forever but he had finally convinced his mum to let him go and visit Tasha. Of course he needed Scott to help him. But still. Everything was better than to sit at home one more second. Especially if it was alone. And finally after a week (though it had seemed like it was longer) he saw her. She was even more beautiful then he remembered. ‘Tasha.’ She looked up and smiled. Finally he sat beside her and took her in his strong arms. He had missed her. But that didn’t matter. Now they were together.

Carla sat on the beach. She didn’t know what to do. Part of her wanted to go and find Kim. Just to see if he was alright. But part of her was afraid that if she would do that she would tell him how she felt. And she couldn’t do that. She was to afraid of what he would say. She shook her head. She still couldn’t believe she had fallen in love with Kim Hyde. After everything that had happened. It seemed so surreal. Everything seemed surreal now.

Kim sat in his room. Staring at an old picture. He closed his eyes. He just hoped he had somehow gotten trough to Jack. He really hoped so. But he didn’t really believe it. Some part of him believed that nobody could get trough to Jack. At least not right now. He was to hurt to listen to reason. But he was afraid. What if Jack would never get over that pain? What if he kept pushing everybody away? Eventually everyone would give up. Because everyone has a limit. As he had discovered last year.

Jack looked at the doctor who had just walked in. She told him she was the one who would help him walk again. But he would never walk again. He didn’t see why she’d care. Why she would even want to try. She kept on telling him that everything would be alright. He couldn’t believe that. ‘I don’t need your help.’ ‘Jack. I know this is difficult for you.’ ‘no. I don’t need your help. Just get out and leave me alone!’

He didn’t even notice he screamed. ‘I’ll come back later.’ ‘I told you you don’t have to come back.’ Jack looked at the ceiling again. Why didn’t everyone just accept the obvious? Why did everyone want to be optimistic? Why convince him they cared? If they didn’t. ‘Boy. Jack.’ He heart his dad. But he didn’t really want to talk right now. ‘It’s ok dad. You can go.’ ‘What?’ ‘I said you can go!’ ‘Jack.’

‘No dad. I don’t need you. I know you don’t want to be here. Nobody wants to be here. Nobody wants to love me. I’m a freak. You can’t love me. You just can’t. All I’m going to be is a burden to everyone. SO just go dad. I know you. Just go.’ Tears appeared in his eyes. He fought hard to keep them back. He knew he would cry if his dad left. But then he would be alone and nobody could see him. And he waited for the door to open and close. But it didn’t.

‘Boy look at me. Look at me.’ He turned to face his dad. He didn’t know why his dad was still there. ‘You listen very carefully to me. I know you’re in pain. I know this can’t be easy for you. I don’t know what you’re feeling. I really don’t boy. But you listen to me. Never say that I don’t love you. Because you are my son. And no matter what I will always love you. So never say I don’t love you. You are my son. You are not a burden. I love you. Nothing can change that. And I’m not the only one. Martha calls me everyday to see if you’re alright. Kim comes and see you everyday. Robbie and Tasha are worried about you. You’re brother misses you. So don’t ever say that nobody loves you. Don’t ever. Because You are my son and I love you. You hear me.’

He couldn’t fight the tears anymore. Before he knew it he was crying. ‘It hurts dad. Why did this happen to me. How can you love me. Everything is my fault. This is all my fault. How can you love me. This is a punishment.’ ‘What are you talking about?’ ‘I was driving. I’m the reason they’re all hurt. They can’t love me. I’m responsible for their pain.’ ‘NO Jack. It was an accident. They love you. This was not your fault.’ Jack felt his fathers strong arms around him. And he cried. He cried.

[Barbara]

The end of that chapter was so sad! I'm glad Tony finally made Jack see some sense! Well, I hope so!

Poor Martha! She loves Jack so much but he doesn't want to see her.

It seems like Tasha and Robbie are the only ones who are happy. Kim is worried about Jack and Carla is in love with Kim and she doesn't know if he feels the same way.

More please.

[pamy]

Chapter 45: Baby steps

Jack didn’t know how long he cried in his fathers arms. But when he finally couldn’t cry anymore he surprisingly felt better. It felt like a huge weight had gone of him. As if everything wasn’t so bad anymore. His dad loved him. He always knew that. But somehow he wanted so bad to believe nobody would love him. He even believed his father couldn’t’ love him. Maybe everything would be alright now. Maybe everything would be ok.

Martha walked to the hospital. She didn’t even know why she was going. Jack didn’t want her there. He wanted nobody by his side. But she kept trying. Love is isn’t logical. And if she stopped going, maybe he would be really convinced she didn’t love him. She passed Noah’s bar. There where he had kissed her for the first time. Everything had been so clear then. Everything had been so wonderful. Why did it all have to change? Why?

Jack took a sip of his water. His father had just gone to search the doctor again. He had to try. If the doctor believed he could someday walk again, maybe he really could. Maybe it wasn’t over yet. He looked at the ceiling again. He still didn’t like the bright colours. But it wasn’t as bad as before anymore. He heart the door open. At first he thought it was the nurse again. But it was Martha. He smiled at her.

She looked at the door. She felt her heart beat faster. She hoped Jack wouldn’t send her away again. She wanted him to hold her. She wanted him to believe she loved him. She wanted him to believe in her. But she was still scared. So scared he would turn her down again. She opened the door. She saw him look up. Something was different. He seemed different. Calmer. He smiled at her. And she felt her heart melt again. Just like always.

He smiled at her. She was so beautiful. And she smiled at him. How could he ever have believed she wouldn’t love him? She was still here. Even after everything he had said to her. She loved him enough to come back. And he wanted to hold her. ‘Hey. Can I come in?’ ‘Yeah. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scream. I just…’ ‘It’s ok. You don’t have to explain. I know this isn’t easy for you. But…I love you.’ He looked at her. Her beautiful eyes. ‘I know. I love you to. So much.’

Tears appeared in her eyes. He loved her. Slowly she moved forwards and captured his lips in a kiss. So long. It felt so great. So perfect. She loved him. And he loved her. And somehow everything was going to be ok. He put his arms around her and pulled her in a tight embrace. And she felt so great. So secure. So protected. She was sure of it now. Everything would be alright again. Everything would definitely be alright.

Two weeks later

Jack took a deep breath. Trying to brace himself for what would come. He had been working hard for the past two weeks. Just to be able to move his legs. It went slow. But it went. And it was something. Right now he was trying to stand on his feet. But it hurt. It hurt so much. Before he knew it he stood on his feet. But he couldn’t stand. It hurt. The pain was killing him. With a scream of pain he felt back down on the bed. Tears appeared in his eyes. How was he ever going to walk again?

Martha sat on the couch. She looked at Jack. She knew things weren’t easy for him, but at least he was letting people help him. And it was something. His dad and the doctor were helping him up. She heard him scream in pain. He fell back down on the bed. She sighed. This wasn’t easy. For neither of them. But they had each other. And no matter what happened she would always love him. And at least he knew that now.

A week later

Four weeks since the accident. And things were finally looking up. After a lot of afford Jack managed to get up without having to scream in pain. He got up on his legs. With help. But at least he was standing. And he felt better. Everyday that passed he felt better. He had friends. He had family. He had Martha.

Martha smiled. She was happy. Confident that everything was going to be alright. They loved each other . And in the end that’s all that mattered. The love. She knew he was working really hard to walk again. She hoped he would succeed. She really did. But she would love him either way.

After what seemed like a lifetime he took a step. And then another. And he knew. He would walk again. He would get there. Slowly. One step at the time. Baby steps.

[Barbara]

2 chapters on the same day!

Great chapter!

Jack is finally letting people in!

And he is going to be able to walk again.

More please.