valli Posted April 11, 2008 Author Report Posted April 11, 2008 Now, you told me to be honest, so honest I'll be "What does she mean, he was really good in bed? How would she know? That's disgusting! They aren't even married, let alone in love." Geoff said, sickly. Lucas sighed. "Welcome to the real world, Geoffrey." I loved this part It's so something both of them could have said You write the characters believable, and it's not difficult to picture the sitations But... (yeah, there's always a but with me) In the end it got a bit too much dialog, no descriptions. I'd prefer if it was a bit descriptions to go along with the dialog, but then again, that's just me More please! Quote
Cerise Posted April 13, 2008 Report Posted April 13, 2008 Ohhkay, I never expected to get that many comments... Danke! I should have Chapter Four up sometime this week. Quote
ezaz8 Posted April 15, 2008 Report Posted April 15, 2008 ... he pulled her body against his and rested his head on top of hers.... Quote
Anaya Posted April 16, 2008 Report Posted April 16, 2008 (edited) Fab update. I'm loving Aden and Belle together in this fic... you write them well. More soon please. Edited April 16, 2008 by anaya1 Quote
valli Posted April 18, 2008 Author Report Posted April 18, 2008 Sorry for not replying to chapter 4. I'm just slow at getting around to do things. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? "Really? Did God tell Moses "Thou Shall Not Skip School"? Fascinating. I should have payed attention when people tried to teach me the bible when I was six." Seriously, you write Belle so well (hm, that rhymes ). Everything that happens, is realistic (oh well, almost everything ) For now, I'm loving Belle and Geoff. They're so funny together The only bad thing I have to say about this chapter, is that it's a bit short in my opinion More please! Quote
Cerise Posted April 18, 2008 Report Posted April 18, 2008 (edited) It was short? Hmm, sorry about that. I never noticed. It took longer to write. EDIT: Hmm. What do you know. 978 words in it. I swear my other chapters only look so long because I used more speach. The others only have about 600 words in them Edited April 18, 2008 by Cerise Quote
carmelle Posted April 18, 2008 Report Posted April 18, 2008 Hey this is great. I love how you write the characters. Looking forward to the next installment. Quote
Jen Posted April 19, 2008 Report Posted April 19, 2008 Belle never ceases to entertain me. I especially loved her (limited) interaction with Aden in this chapter. The science teacher was kind of weird, but I could really relate to the whole lab report thing (which I something I should be doing now... ) Keep up the great writing! Quote
Cerise Posted April 19, 2008 Report Posted April 19, 2008 Thanks, both of you! I'll definitely update sometime today, and probably tomorrow, too. I write better when there's no distractions and I'm pretty much alone at home this weekend. Quote
ezaz8 Posted April 19, 2008 Report Posted April 19, 2008 lovely! love seeing Aden's sentimental side! Quote
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