Love Problems

[Jess]

So, yeah, I'm a bit of a mess at the moment.

I don't know if any of you remember, but a while ago I talked about my (now ex) best friend's boyfriend, and how there'd been a bit of a, err, spark between us? Well, eventually, we admitted our feelings to each other and, yeah, we were talking every day. The problem was, I'm at uni about an hour and a half from where he lives and, being a fresher, have been very busy recently so haven't been able to have him come and see me as promised. Anyway, it all kinda came to a head a few days ago because he was getting majorly irritated that he could never see me - fair enough, really - so I said he could come this weekend, so that we could try and sort ourselves out, and have a bit of fun. This was all fine and dandy until last night, when he said that he was really sorry but that he couldn't do this anymore. He just said that he was messed up, and didn't wanna mess me up, too. He has a habit of pushing people away, though fear of being pushed away and although I made it more than clear to him that I'd fallen for him in a big way (which I had), this obviously wasn't enough for him. We've texted on and off, but I miss him so much, and it's cliched, that it hurts. I feel completely isolated because I can't really explain the situation to any of my friends, for obvious reasons, and I've just spent the day in tears. He's made it clear that if I was closer, that we'd have a better chance, but I'm sick of playing 'what if?' over something I really can't control. I miss him. I need a hug.

[matticus01]

*Gives Jess a hug*

And I thought my problems were bad

I know how you feel about missing someone. I love Sean, even after he hurt me, even talking about it now I have tears in my eyes.

I know I dont have to work with him all the time when I go back over, but I still have to do some shows with him and it will just hurt so much, knowing that I "was" that girl that belonged to him.

We had chemistry, sure. and I started falling for him the day that I met him, I dont know what it was but I kept denying my feelings because, well, at the time I was pretty messed up and thought 'Who would want to be with me?'

Nut now I just think, because he finally told me that he'd liked me for two years since we first slept together, and I mean slept in the same bed and not done anything and that was along time ago, and then he goes and does this to me.

I dont know where we went wrong!

Now I need a hug

[~Lynd~]

So, yeah, I'm a bit of a mess at the moment.

I don't know if any of you remember, but a while ago I talked about my (now ex) best friend's boyfriend, and how there'd been a bit of a, err, spark between us? Well, eventually, we admitted our feelings to each other and, yeah, we were talking every day. The problem was, I'm at uni about an hour and a half from where he lives and, being a fresher, have been very busy recently so haven't been able to have him come and see me as promised. Anyway, it all kinda came to a head a few days ago because he was getting majorly irritated that he could never see me - fair enough, really - so I said he could come this weekend, so that we could try and sort ourselves out, and have a bit of fun. This was all fine and dandy until last night, when he said that he was really sorry but that he couldn't do this anymore. He just said that he was messed up, and didn't wanna mess me up, too. He has a habit of pushing people away, though fear of being pushed away and although I made it more than clear to him that I'd fallen for him in a big way (which I had), this obviously wasn't enough for him. We've texted on and off, but I miss him so much, and it's cliched, that it hurts. I feel completely isolated because I can't really explain the situation to any of my friends, for obvious reasons, and I've just spent the day in tears. He's made it clear that if I was closer, that we'd have a better chance, but I'm sick of playing 'what if?' over something I really can't control. I miss him. I need a hug.

Aww*hugs You*I fee your pain.Men can be such jerks but unfortunately we can't help who we fall in love with.Or if we can someone needs to tell me because i'm over it, but i'm not if that makes sence,lol.

[-Kevin-]

Bumping a really old thread!

Anyway I am so annoyed right now, theres this guy that I really really like and I thought that he liked me too. I've known him for a couple of weeks now and we've hung out a few times but we went out clubbing on thursday night and I stayed at his house after. It was all good we even kissed and just cuddled for a while then we had sex but now I think hes got what he wanted and don't want anything to do with me anymore.... we didn't really speak the next morning because I was in a rush to get home, maybe he got the impression I was trying to get out of there as fast as I can I don't know, I only left because he wasn't saying much to me either and I didn't want him to think I was outstaying my welcome and if all he wanted is sex then maybe I should just go incase he thinks I think I wanted more....

I just don't get it! It is really just driving me insane thinking about it/him!! If all he wanted was just sex then why did we hang out so much and whats with all the cuddles and stuff. Maybe cuddling to him is different to what cuddling is for me, urgh men , seriously I don't know why we even bother there just a pain in the ass!

It pis*es me off to think he just used me, but then again its not like I knew I was being used. I would rather be used by a complete stranger than someone I really like. It doesn't seem like hes that kind of guy either , hes really nice. Oh I just don't know anymore, I really don't. We had arranged to go out tonight before we slept together but I don't know if he still wants me to come out......Maybe I'm just being paranoid but I don't want to go out when I'm not wanted, just making a fool out of myself.

I want to forget about him, but I can't

[Kade Kempson]

Bumping a really old thread!

Anyway I am so annoyed right now, theres this guy that I really really like and I thought that he liked me too. I've known him for a couple of weeks now and we've hung out a few times but we went out clubbing on thursday night and I stayed at his house after. It was all good we even kissed and just cuddled for a while then we had sex but now I think hes got what he wanted and don't want anything to do with me anymore.... we didn't really speak the next morning because I was in a rush to get home, maybe he got the impression I was trying to get out of there as fast as I can I don't know, I only left because he wasn't saying much to me either and I didn't want him to think I was outstaying my welcome and if all he wanted is sex then maybe I should just go incase he thinks I think I wanted more....

I just don't get it! It is really just driving me insane thinking about it/him!! If all he wanted was just sex then why did we hang out so much and whats with all the cuddles and stuff. Maybe cuddling to him is different to what cuddling is for me, urgh men , seriously I don't know why we even bother there just a pain in the ass!

It pis*es me off to think he just used me, but then again its not like I knew I was being used. I would rather be used by a complete stranger than someone I really like. It doesn't seem like hes that kind of guy either , hes really nice. Oh I just don't know anymore, I really don't. We had arranged to go out tonight before we slept together but I don't know if he still wants me to come out......Maybe I'm just being paranoid but I don't want to go out when I'm not wanted, just making a fool out of myself.

I want to forget about him, but I can't

To be honest you're making a lot of assumptions.

You had sex with him, left as soon as possible the next morning and now all of a sudden you're getting the impression that he used you and you havent even spoken to him since? WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU?

He could be thinking the same about you; put yourself in his shoes, imagine having sex with someone and then the next morning they rush out without saying two words?! So he's probably thinking you used him for sex as well. Can you honestly say that in the morning you really made the effort to talk to him? I mean, from your post it seems as if all you wanted to do is get out of the house/flat because you were that little bit uncomfortable. Well it goes with the territory; having sex with someone for the first time, the aftermath is always going to be uncomfortable.

Talk to him. Dont assume anything. And don't look too much into things. Talk to him to find out for sure.

Talk to him and see what he says. Find out for sure where you stand; If you get into a relationship and you're happy, so be it. If it turns out he's a sleaze-bag that DID use you, then learn from this for next time and don't settle for any old guy. Either way, you NEED to know because you could be throwing away a good thing here by trying to analyse the situation yourself without even speaking to him. And, no offense, but the fact you want to forget about him without even having spoken to him since is pretty stupid. Talk about being a drama queen.

Communication is key. You should always be upfront. Whatever you're not comfortable with, tell him or ask him. L

And I hope for your sake you used contraception. It's SO important, don't risk anything. It could change your life. If you didnt, then I'd really suggest you go get tested. Better to be on the safe side.

[-Kevin-]

Argh,just argh!

I'll explain tomorrow!

[xxJaniexx]

^ Aww *hugs* Kevin, i hope you're ok

[-Kevin-]

Bumping a really old thread!

Anyway I am so annoyed right now, theres this guy that I really really like and I thought that he liked me too. I've known him for a couple of weeks now and we've hung out a few times but we went out clubbing on thursday night and I stayed at his house after. It was all good we even kissed and just cuddled for a while then we had sex but now I think hes got what he wanted and don't want anything to do with me anymore.... we didn't really speak the next morning because I was in a rush to get home, maybe he got the impression I was trying to get out of there as fast as I can I don't know, I only left because he wasn't saying much to me either and I didn't want him to think I was outstaying my welcome and if all he wanted is sex then maybe I should just go incase he thinks I think I wanted more....

I just don't get it! It is really just driving me insane thinking about it/him!! If all he wanted was just sex then why did we hang out so much and whats with all the cuddles and stuff. Maybe cuddling to him is different to what cuddling is for me, urgh men , seriously I don't know why we even bother there just a pain in the ass!

It pis*es me off to think he just used me, but then again its not like I knew I was being used. I would rather be used by a complete stranger than someone I really like. It doesn't seem like hes that kind of guy either , hes really nice. Oh I just don't know anymore, I really don't. We had arranged to go out tonight before we slept together but I don't know if he still wants me to come out......Maybe I'm just being paranoid but I don't want to go out when I'm not wanted, just making a fool out of myself.

I want to forget about him, but I can't

To be honest you're making a lot of assumptions.

You had sex with him, left as soon as possible the next morning and now all of a sudden you're getting the impression that he used you and you havent even spoken to him since? WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU?

He could be thinking the same about you; put yourself in his shoes, imagine having sex with someone and then the next morning they rush out without saying two words?! So he's probably thinking you used him for sex as well. Can you honestly say that in the morning you really made the effort to talk to him? I mean, from your post it seems as if all you wanted to do is get out of the house/flat because you were that little bit uncomfortable. Well it goes with the territory; having sex with someone for the first time, the aftermath is always going to be uncomfortable.

Talk to him. Dont assume anything. And don't look too much into things. Talk to him to find out for sure.

Talk to him and see what he says. Find out for sure where you stand; If you get into a relationship and you're happy, so be it. If it turns out he's a sleaze-bag that DID use you, then learn from this for next time and don't settle for any old guy. Either way, you NEED to know because you could be throwing away a good thing here by trying to analyse the situation yourself without even speaking to him. And, no offense, but the fact you want to forget about him without even having spoken to him since is pretty stupid. Talk about being a drama queen.

Communication is key. You should always be upfront. Whatever you're not comfortable with, tell him or ask him. L

And I hope for your sake you used contraception. It's SO important, don't risk anything. It could change your life. If you didnt, then I'd really suggest you go get tested. Better to be on the safe side.

Thank you for the advice, your good at giving it! I guess I don't want to put myself out there for fear of being rejected.

I'm almost sure he did use a condom too.

^ Aww *hugs* Kevin, i hope you're ok

Thanks Janie, I'm feeling better today.

So I just noticed his friend who has been hanging out with us as well they have some sort of relationship going on, its like a friends with benefits sort of thing or open relationship

I went out with them last night and it was fun, felt like nothing had happened and I seen him kiss his friend a couple of times to and I was so jealous

Oh well, I think I'll have to just get over him, although I do still want to be friends though!

Men!!! Why do we even bother eh ??

[jenlee]

Bumping a really old thread!

Anyway I am so annoyed right now, theres this guy that I really really like and I thought that he liked me too. I've known him for a couple of weeks now and we've hung out a few times but we went out clubbing on thursday night and I stayed at his house after. It was all good we even kissed and just cuddled for a while then we had sex but now I think hes got what he wanted and don't want anything to do with me anymore.... we didn't really speak the next morning because I was in a rush to get home, maybe he got the impression I was trying to get out of there as fast as I can I don't know, I only left because he wasn't saying much to me either and I didn't want him to think I was outstaying my welcome and if all he wanted is sex then maybe I should just go incase he thinks I think I wanted more....

I just don't get it! It is really just driving me insane thinking about it/him!! If all he wanted was just sex then why did we hang out so much and whats with all the cuddles and stuff. Maybe cuddling to him is different to what cuddling is for me, urgh men , seriously I don't know why we even bother there just a pain in the ass!

It pis*es me off to think he just used me, but then again its not like I knew I was being used. I would rather be used by a complete stranger than someone I really like. It doesn't seem like hes that kind of guy either , hes really nice. Oh I just don't know anymore, I really don't. We had arranged to go out tonight before we slept together but I don't know if he still wants me to come out......Maybe I'm just being paranoid but I don't want to go out when I'm not wanted, just making a fool out of myself.

I want to forget about him, but I can't

To be honest you're making a lot of assumptions.

You had sex with him, left as soon as possible the next morning and now all of a sudden you're getting the impression that he used you and you havent even spoken to him since? WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU?

He could be thinking the same about you; put yourself in his shoes, imagine having sex with someone and then the next morning they rush out without saying two words?! So he's probably thinking you used him for sex as well. Can you honestly say that in the morning you really made the effort to talk to him? I mean, from your post it seems as if all you wanted to do is get out of the house/flat because you were that little bit uncomfortable. Well it goes with the territory; having sex with someone for the first time, the aftermath is always going to be uncomfortable.

Talk to him. Dont assume anything. And don't look too much into things. Talk to him to find out for sure.

Talk to him and see what he says. Find out for sure where you stand; If you get into a relationship and you're happy, so be it. If it turns out he's a sleaze-bag that DID use you, then learn from this for next time and don't settle for any old guy. Either way, you NEED to know because you could be throwing away a good thing here by trying to analyse the situation yourself without even speaking to him. And, no offense, but the fact you want to forget about him without even having spoken to him since is pretty stupid. Talk about being a drama queen.

Communication is key. You should always be upfront. Whatever you're not comfortable with, tell him or ask him. L

And I hope for your sake you used contraception. It's SO important, don't risk anything. It could change your life. If you didnt, then I'd really suggest you go get tested. Better to be on the safe side.

Thank you for the advice, your good at giving it! I guess I don't want to put myself out there for fear of being rejected.

I'm almost sure he did use a condom too.

^ Aww *hugs* Kevin, i hope you're ok

Thanks Janie, I'm feeling better today.

So I just noticed his friend who has been hanging out with us as well they have some sort of relationship going on, its like a friends with benefits sort of thing or open relationship

I went out with them last night and it was fun, felt like nothing had happened and I seen him kiss his friend a couple of times to and I was so jealous

Oh well, I think I'll have to just get over him, although I do still want to be friends though!

Men!!! Why do we even bother eh ??

I don't want to be one of those nosy people who just butt into other people's conversations, but I say this with nothing but concern. Kevin, if you can't trust this guy - which it really seems like you can't - and if he's sleeping with some other guy as well as you, then you can't trust that he used protection. Being almost sure isn't really good enough if the guy's acting like a jerk and having a sexual relationship with someone else, too. Like Kade said, better to be safe than sorry. Getting tested, just in case, is the mature thing to do.

I hope it all works out for you

[pembie]

yeah I have a love probelm I don't have love life which is really boring