~Lynd~ Posted August 30, 2008 Report Share Posted August 30, 2008 If you don't love your boyfriend as much as your ex then break up.Don't get with the ex unless you're sure your current boyfriend is ok with it though.As you say you don't want to come between them,they might both end up resenting you. Damn i love this thread lol.I suck at my own love life but i'll give everyone elses a shot.That's therapy for ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaitieL Posted August 30, 2008 Report Share Posted August 30, 2008 Katie - there's usually a damn good reason why people break up in the first place and should never go back to that. Having said that. I dated this guy three times in the space of about 2-3 years and I learned a lot from it. First time was only for a month or so before I broke things off. I ended up going out with on of his friends. I sound like a callous b!tch, but trust me, I don't think he was that into me anyway and was only to make this other girl he liked jealous. But after we finished school and were at uni, we started things up again. It lasted a week and then a month later we were back together. Anyway this time it lasted about three months before he dumped me again. Still hasn't given me a reason but I think it was to get back at me for dumping him the first time. He treated me like crap the whole time and I don't understand what I saw in him. I have absolutely no feelings for him whatsoever, but that doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt. He made me feel like **** and said he loved me and wanted to get married. I don't know whether to believe it or not, but I chose not to. I was drunk at a party once, that he was at and found the courage to confront him. Now, I'm not normally a violent person, but I did take a swing at him and my friends had to hold me back. Even thought they were thinking 'Go Kait' at the time and waited a bit before they realised I would actually hurt him. I actually have my husband to thank for getting me drunk that night as well - he kept feeding me drinks. So after that long rant, my point is, think about the real reason why he's saying this stuff. If you hurt him, then he probably only wants revenge. I'm not saying that he doesn't love you, but I just don't want you to make the same mistake I did. It still hurts me and took me ages to get over and even now, I don't think I'm fully over it. Just be careful and think about it but I wouldn't recommend it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieroxNZ Posted August 30, 2008 Report Share Posted August 30, 2008 Katie - there's usually a damn good reason why people break up in the first place and should never go back to that. Having said that. I dated this guy three times in the space of about 2-3 years and I learned a lot from it. First time was only for a month or so before I broke things off. I ended up going out with on of his friends. I sound like a callous b!tch, but trust me, I don't think he was that into me anyway and was only to make this other girl he liked jealous. But after we finished school and were at uni, we started things up again. It lasted a week and then a month later we were back together. Anyway this time it lasted about three months before he dumped me again. Still hasn't given me a reason but I think it was to get back at me for dumping him the first time. He treated me like crap the whole time and I don't understand what I saw in him. I have absolutely no feelings for him whatsoever, but that doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt. He made me feel like **** and said he loved me and wanted to get married. I don't know whether to believe it or not, but I chose not to. I was drunk at a party once, that he was at and found the courage to confront him. Now, I'm not normally a violent person, but I did take a swing at him and my friends had to hold me back. Even thought they were thinking 'Go Kait' at the time and waited a bit before they realised I would actually hurt him. I actually have my husband to thank for getting me drunk that night as well - he kept feeding me drinks. So after that long rant, my point is, think about the real reason why he's saying this stuff. If you hurt him, then he probably only wants revenge. I'm not saying that he doesn't love you, but I just don't want you to make the same mistake I did. It still hurts me and took me ages to get over and even now, I don't think I'm fully over it. Just be careful and think about it but I wouldn't recommend it. Thanks Kaitie I had a long think about what you said last night, and i decided not to get back with my ex, coz i know he'll end up doing something to hurt me (like sleeping with my best friend ) so i think i'm going to stay with my current boyfriend atm, after all he treats me really well and i love him soooo much. But i can't help thinking what could of happened, if i did go back to Josh. Is that wrong?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaitieL Posted September 1, 2008 Report Share Posted September 1, 2008 ^^ Nope, not wrong at all. I kept going over and over it in my head trying to work out what I did wrong and how I could change. But then I realised that if I had to change for him the get back with me, then it wasn't worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rising-flame Posted September 1, 2008 Report Share Posted September 1, 2008 This isn't so much a problem as a question. On saturday i went skydiving (it was planned, i just did it). Anyway, the instructors and people I went up with knew i was really nervous so someone else who was jumping, jumped with us, and i was told he might even take my hands (he didn't but anyway). Anyway, this guy was really fit, had a lovely smile, was friendly (smiling and asking me if i was okay on the way up, asking me if i enjoyed it on the way down). so problem is, why couldn't i ask this guy if he was single and what his number was? why was that a more scary concept than jumping out of a plane at 10'000ft. i really regret not asking him for his number. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Lynd~ Posted September 1, 2008 Report Share Posted September 1, 2008 This isn't so much a problem as a question. On saturday i went skydiving (it was planned, i just did it). Anyway, the instructors and people I went up with knew i was really nervous so someone else who was jumping, jumped with us, and i was told he might even take my hands (he didn't but anyway). Anyway, this guy was really fit, had a lovely smile, was friendly (smiling and asking me if i was okay on the way up, asking me if i enjoyed it on the way down). so problem is, why couldn't i ask this guy if he was single and what his number was? why was that a more scary concept than jumping out of a plane at 10'000ft. i really regret not asking him for his number. Fear of rejection which is totally normal.I don't know how you get over it though.My best friend had to ask the guy i like for his phone number for me because i was never gonna do it lol. How do you get over jealousy?Everytime he talks to a girl for more then 10 seconds i feel like telling her to eff off!We aren't even together,he has a gf,even if he claims not to like her like that anymore, so i can't tell him i like him.For all i know she was one of the girls.I was kinda trying to make him jealous by hanging with this other guy,which only resulted in him coming over to see i was ok,winking at me and walking away again.I was a bit tipsy and was telling the other guy about it and he was like,''don't worry about it,they've been hanging off him all night,he won't go for them. Damn,I HATE feeling like the jealous girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martha-jack Posted September 2, 2008 Report Share Posted September 2, 2008 i have a bit of a problem, my best friend is a girl and she said she likes me but the problem is i could only ever like her as a friend, and not in the way she wants me to, i dont have a clue what to do because i don't want to hurt her feelings and i want us to remain best friends as we have grew up together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solaris Posted September 2, 2008 Report Share Posted September 2, 2008 i have a bit of a problem, my best friend is a girl and she said she likes me but the problem is i could only ever like her as a friend, and not in the way she wants me to, i dont have a clue what to do because i don't want to hurt her feelings and i want us to remain best friends as we have grew up together. Before I even make an attempt at suggesting a course of action, are you a boy or a girl? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martha-jack Posted September 2, 2008 Report Share Posted September 2, 2008 Boy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solaris Posted September 2, 2008 Report Share Posted September 2, 2008 Boy You've got two options that I can see, 1) Do nothing - that is, treat her like you always do and keep the appropriate boundaries in place (may not be an option if she's after a response, if she isn't she'll probably get the message) 2) Tell her the truth - you like her as a friend, you don't want to risk screwing up your friendship, you're not attracted to her that way (last one is the one of last resort - depending how emotional she is as a person she could take it badly). The other option is to tell her you're gay...I don't think I need to go into the potential pitfalls of telling her that - especially if you're not! The bold bit is probably your best option (it's the one that, as a girl, I'd respond best to) but unfortunately if her feelings are very strong...there may not be much you can do. Sorry I can't be much help...good luck - you're going to need it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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