Beauty In The Breakdown

[HAA Girl 08]

Yay! An update! A really good update! A really, really good update!

Update soon!

[whispered_envy]

~AdelleFanEver~, it's Aden hugging Melody, not Nicole.

Umm...much more of the same, really. If you're still reading this story, then you should know what's it like by now!

Chapter Fifteen:

Aden leaned against the door frame, watching Violet read on her bed. He cleared his throat awkwardly. Violet looked up at him, but her expression didn’t change. He held up her book. “I brought back your book. You left it under the tree.”

“Thanks.” Violet replied, expressionless. Neither of them moved, each waiting for the other to say something.

Aden gave in. “When I was talking with Dr Kempton today, he said something.”

“Good for him. Psychiatrists are supposed to talk.”

Aden ignored the smartass comment. “He said that people end up making decisions that benefit them in the long run, because that’s the way we cope.”

“So?”

“So...” He walked into her bedroom. “...is that how you cope? Your forward, blunt attitude. The brutal honesty that you told your life story with. The intimidating staring. Is that all a coping mechanism for you?”

Violet furrowed her brows. “Why do you care? What difference does it make to you?”

“I need to understand.”

She sat up on her bed, and looked straight in his eyes. “Yes. When I’m being forward, or intimidating people, it makes me feel like I’m in control. That I can control my pain and suffering. I know it might sound strange to you, but...”

“You know, it doesn’t sound that strange. I don’t do something all that different.” He sat on her bed, even though she didn’t invite him to. “You mentally intimidate people, I physically intimidate people. The amount of people I’ve fought for no good reason whatsoever would be record breaking!”

Violet suddenly grabbed his hand. “I only intimidate people that I want to get to know better.”

Aden frowned at her. “Why would you want to get to know me better?”

“Because as soon as I met you, I could tell that we are alike. Your movements, expressions, actions- you remind me of myself.”

“How could tell all that after only a brief meeting?” Aden asked, confused.

“I’m a pretty good judge of character.” She explained. “Except I used to pick the ones that I knew would hurt me, rather than the ones that would treat me right.”

“I don’t think I do that!”

She laughed. “Hey, I said we were alike, not identical!”

“People don’t usually want to get to know me.” Aden admitted.

“But is that the person’s fault or do you intentionally shut them out?” Violet asked wisely.

It was Aden’s turn to laugh. “You should be a therapist!”

“No, I’ve just had a lot of practice at being mentally unstable!” She laughed with him, before her face fell. “I’m sorry, by the way.”

“About what?”

“For intimidating you like that. I wanted a reaction, but I hadn’t expected you to react that badly.”

“It’s okay. It’s just...well...a lot of things that you said, about you blaming yourself, about feeling weak and useless...it really got to me, because I can relate to feeling like that.” Aden explained awkwardly. “And it was strange to hear, because I’ve never heard anyone else admit to feeling that way before!”

“That’s what happens in a place like this- you realise that you’re not the only one.” She told him quietly.

Aden looked at her. “Does it get any easier?”

“Yeah, it does. But you’ll always have your good days, and you’ll always have you bad days. You can’t expect everything to be perfect once you start talking, because if believe that and something bad happens, then it can put you back further than when you started. It was something I learnt the hard way.”

Aden considered this for a moment. “How do you keep doing this? Coming back to these places?”

Violet shrugged. “I keep having relapses. Something goes wrong, and I can’t handle it, so my aunt and uncle send me off again.”

“At least you’ve got people out there that care about you.” Aden said darkly. “If people had actually cared for me before now, then I should have been in a place like this long ago.”

“Aden, if my father had actually cared about me, he wouldn’t have stabbed my mother.”

“If my father had actually cared about me, then he wouldn’t have let my grandfather do...” Aden broke off in horror, realising that he had said too much.

“What?” Violet pushed. “He wouldn’t have let your grandfather do what?”

Aden shifted uneasily. “Nothing. Forget I said anything.”

“Aden! Please tell me!” She grabbed his arm.

“I said forget it, okay?” He snapped.

“What did your grandfather do?” As Aden’s face twisted into an anguished expression of hurt and shame, it suddenly clicked in Violet’s head. She gasped, putting her hand over her mouth. “Oh god! He didn’t, did he?”

“Did what?” Aden asked, trying to smooth out his face.

“Did he...did he...” She breathed, barely daring to say the words, “...did he molest you?”

“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!” Aden screamed, jumping off her bed. He was in shock- how on earth did she manage to guess that? “JUST SHUT UP!”

Violet quickly scrabbled off the bed after him, scared that she had triggered something in him. “Oh, Aden, I’m sorry!”

His face was white, his hands clenched into tight fists. “Who told you?” He hissed.

Violet was taken aback. “What?”

“You couldn’t have guessed something like that, so the only explanation is that someone told you! Who was it?”

“No one told me!” She protested.

“There is NO WAY you could have guessed something like that! TELL ME WHO IT WAS!”

“NO ONE TOLD ME!” Violet shouted at him. “I just guessed!”

“Fine! If you won’t tell me, I’ll find out who did!” Aden stormed out of her room, and Violet quickly followed him, worried about what he might do.

The upset boy made his down the hallway and out into the reception area. There, he spotted Dr Kempton, talking to a couple of the nurses! “You!” He snarled.

Dr Kempton turned at the sound of Aden’s voice. “Aden?”

“It was you, wasn’t it?” Aden shouted at him. Everyone else fell silent, shocked by this sudden outburst. Violet hung back at the end of the corridor.

“What’s wrong, Aden? Dr Kempton asked calmly, sensing the boy’s anger.

“You...” He pointed at him. “...told her...” He pointed at Violet. “...what happened to me, didn’t you?”

“No, Aden, I didn’t.”

“DON’T LIE TO ME!” He screamed. “SOMEONE TOLD HER ABOUT MY GRANDFATHER!”

Dr Kempton looked at Violet quizzically. She helplessly threw her hands up in the air. “I just guessed!”

“NO! SOMEONE MUST HAVE TOLD HER! THEY MUST HAVE!”

“I promise you no-one did! You know they are not allowed to!” Dr Kempton tried to reason with him.

“NO! YOU’RE LYING! YOU’RE ALL LYING!” Aden screamed around the room. He started breathing heavily- his chest was getting tighter and tighter. “You’re...all...lying...” He gasped, before collapsing to the floor.

“Aden!” Dr Kempton yelled, shocked. He knelt by the writhing figure.

Aden kept gasping, clutching his chest. “I...can’t...breathe!”

“I need some help here!” Dr Kempton yelled at the nurses, who were shaken out of their silence and started bustling to help Aden.

Violet, still watching the scene unfold, took a few steps back before turning and running back to her room. She collapsed on her bed, sobbing into her pillow.

What had she done?

----

Roman wandered through the house, and for about the hundredth time, he considered how quiet the house had become since Aden’s departure. There had always been more than two people living in this house at any given time, and now that it was only Nicole and himself, he missed the company.

Wandering into the kitchen, he found Nicole picking at a sandwich she had made. “Didn’t you mother teach you not to play with your food?”

“Yeah, but this was the same mother who slept with someone when she was fourteen.” Nicole replied listlessly. Roman would usually take something like this as a cheeky joke, but Nicole didn’t have the same spark that she usually had.

“What’s up?” Roman sat across from his daughter, studying her mood.

Nicole put down her sandwich. “I overheard some people at school talking about Aden today.”

“Oh?” Roman wasn’t exactly sure how to react to this.

“They were saying some really horrible, stuff, Roman!” Nicole told him miserably. “Like, what a loser he must be to try and kill himself! Because everyone knows it was him - everyone! It’s not fair Roman- they don’t know what he’s been through! They shouldn’t say such horrible stuff that they know nothing about!”

Roman quickly grabbed his daughter’s hand. “You’re right, Nicole, they don’t know what they’re talking about. But teenagers can be mean and nasty, and very quick to judge, so you shouldn’t take what they were saying to heart. As you said- they don’t have the full facts, and if they did know it all, I’m sure they’d be very sorry for their comments.”

Nicole poked her sandwich. “I’ve said some horrible things to Aden in the past- do you think he hates me for it?”

“No, Nic, I’m sure he doesn’t. That’s all in the past now, when things were different, and you can’t let the past get to you too much, or you could end up doing something like what Aden did.” Roman explained sadly.

“Why did this have to happen?” Nicole looked up at her dad, her face filled with sadness. “Just as I thought things were going good for us...”

“I don’t know.” Roman told her honestly. “I guess what happened was inevitable, and as much as we would have liked, there was nothing we could do to stop it.”

“I still wished it hadn’t happened.”

“So do I.”

Nicole had a sudden idea. “Can we go visit Aden? I think he’d probably like to see some familiar faces!”

Roman looked at his daughter, who had brightened up considerable. “Okay.” He agreed. “On the weekend- I have Saturday off work.”

“Thanks, Dad!” Nicole gave Roman a quick squeeze. “I’m going to make him a care package! I’m sure he’ll love to see us!” She ran off without so much as another word.

Roman leant over, taking a bite out of his daughter’s sandwich. I sure hope so, he worried internally.

----

“You had a panic attack.”

Aden slumped in the seat in Dr Kempton’s office, embarrassed. They had taken him there to give him a quiet place to calm down, and it had worked. His breathing had eventually returned to normal, and the tightness in his chest had gone.

“This happens when a person becomes extremely anxious. I guess that you thinking that we had spilled you secret is what triggered this one, hey?”

“It’s not just that.” Aden said miserably.

“What else is it then?”

“I can’t stand it when someone else finds out about my grandfather! I can’t deal with it! How the hell am I ever supposed to get better? I can’t do this, Dr Kempton!”

“Yes, you can!”

“No, I can’t!”

“Aden, I told you this was not going to be easy, but I believe you can do this.”

“Yeah, yeah, you told me before. Everybody has the ability to help themselves- it’s just if you are willing to or not.”

Dr Kempton smiled. “I’m glad you remember that, because I believe that you do want to help yourself, it’s just that you are so lost and confused about where you should begin. Do you agree?”

Aden nodded. “I guess.”

“Now, seeing as we don’t actually have a session scheduled for now, I’ll let you go and rest. But first, I have a little bit of advice for you.”

“What?”

“Next time you feel yourself getting angry or upset, like before...just breathe.”

“Huh?” Aden wondered what on earth Dr Kempton was on about.

“Take a few deep breaths, and count to ten in a slow, steady pace. You will be amazed at how much clearer your thoughts will become.”

“Ohhh...I’ll try to remember that. Thanks. Oh, and- before I go- one last question.”

“Yes?”

“How long do these anti-depressants they’re feeding me take to work?”

“They are not an overnight cure, Aden. Generally, people will start to feel the effects of them within two to four weeks.”

“I have to wait that long?!?!”

“Yes, but we’ll still be here to help for the time being.”

“I suppose.”

“Now, go and rest Aden. You’ve had a tiring day.”

Aden wandered down the hallway, but he wasn’t heading for his room. First, he had to go and talk to Violet.

[xknomex]

Poor Aden I'm glad he is getting help though!

I love how protective Nicole is being, its soo sweet.

Update soon

xxx

[wrongturntaken]

Aw, i really loved all the character's reactions in this chapter! Poor Aden!

I loved Nicole, she was being so sweet!!

I hope Aden doesn't become reliant on those anit-depressants, and i want to see this talk with Violet!

Update now!!!! Please!

[matticus01]

This was so brilliant !

So much better than what they're doing on home and away

loving the interaction between Aden and his Dr

update soon

[Inactive User]

Whoa this is really a powerful chapter. Poor Aden- I want to hug him and tell him everything is going to be alright. Can't wait for his talk with Violet in next chapter.

[HAA Girl 08]

Love the chapter... Will there be anymore Adelle? Sorry if somebody has already asked.

[whispered_envy]

As always, thankyou for reading and your lovely comments.

Chapter Sixteen:

“Hi there.”

Belle, who had been leaning against the beach fence gazing out at the water, looked around to see Nicole standing behind her.

Belle sighed. “Nicole, save it. I’m not in the mood.”

“I’m not here to yell at you. For once.” She added, before leaning against the railing next to the brunette.

“Then why are you talking to me? God knows we’ve never gotten along.”

“Look, Belle, I know we’ve had our differences, but we also have a common concern.”

Belle turned slightly towards Nicole. “You mean Aden?”

“What else? We both care for him, and I just want him to realise he has support around him when he comes back.”

Belle went into defence mode. “I’m not with Aden anymore, so I don’t know what you expect me to do.”

“Oh, you only care for Angelo now- is that right?” Nicole asked snidely.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but Angelo and I broke up.” Belle picked up her bag and started walking away, but Nicole followed her.

“Seriously?”

“Yes! It’s over between us!”

“What- are you hoping to get back with Aden or something? Because the last thing he needs right now is for someone to hurt him again!”

Belle stopped. “Nicole, I am not planning to get back with Aden.” She told her through gritted teeth.

“I bet that before long you’ll be back in his arms!”

“I won’t be getting back with him, because I won’t be living here for much longer!” Belle burst out, annoyed at having to reveal the truth to the pushy girl.

“You won’t?”

“No, I won’t. I’ve got a photography cadetship down in the city. I just rang them to accept the job offer- I start in two weeks!”

Nicole’s brow furrowed, hands on hips. “And were you ever planning to tell Aden this, or were you just hoping to slip off quietly into the night?”

“Of course I was going to tell Aden! I’m not that insensitive!”

“How do you think he’s going to react to this, huh? Do you think he’s going to be happy to see the back of you? I don’t care about you, but for some unknown reason that boy really had it bad for you!”

“Nicole, Aden and I are over. What we had is gone now. I think it’s best for both of us if I just get out of his life forever. He’ll be alright. He’s got you.”

Nicole’s face softened. It was obvious that Belle had not made this decision lightly. Maybe it was the best for both of them... Aden did need to realise that there were other good things in the world besides Belle.

“Look, I’ve got to go.” Belle finished, realising Nicole wasn’t going to argue with her anymore. “I will visit Aden before I leave, I promise.”

“We’re going to see him this Saturday.” Nicole stated.

“Can you please not tell him anything about me leaving town? I’d rather he heard it from me.” Belle pleaded.

Nicole looked unconvinced, but agreed. “Okay. I don’t want to lie to him, but I guess you’re right. It would be better for him.”

“Thanks. And Nicole, I do care for Aden, I just have to do this- for me.”

“I understand.”

Belle gave the blonde one last smile before walking towards her car. She hoped that Nicole could keep her word- she had to tell Aden herself. Make him understand.

----

Violet wasn’t in her room.

Slightly confused, he went and asked a nurse if she knew if Violet had a therapy session, but the nurse didn’t know. He checked the common room, asking a few people that he had seen her talking to if they knew where she was, but they had no idea. Aden even went searching outside, to the tree that they had first met under, but he couldn’t find her anywhere.

He headed back to his room, lost in thought. She was probably hiding somewhere, not wanting to be found. But Aden felt disappointed- he had really wanted to talk to her, to explain everything to her. He felt she at least deserved something.

Aden jumped as he entered his room- there was a figure lying on his bed, waiting patiently. “Violet!” He announced, pleased to see her.

“Aden!” She cried, jumping off his bed and flinging herself into a hug. Aden, unsure of how to react, awkwardly hugged her back with his unbroken arm. “I am so glad that you’re alright!”

“I’ve been looking for you!”

Violet pulled back. “Really? But I am a horrible, horrible person!”

Aden studied her. “You are not a horrible person.”

“Yes I am! I kept pushing you, and I probably made things worse!” She sat down on his bed in a heap.

Aden gently sat next to her. “You didn’t push me. All you did was guess what was up with me, and- you got it right!”

“I didn’t realise it would effect you so much, or I never would have said anything.”

“I’ve been bottling it up for seven years- I’m not used to all this honesty.”

Violet’s eyes widened. “Seven years? But that would have made you...” she did a quick mental calculation “...eleven...when it all happened!”

Aden nodded sadly. “Childhood innocence was lost on me at a young age.”

“I don’t want you to talk about this if you’re not ready to.” Violet told him firmly.

“Violet, I’m never going to be ready to talk about it. I have to push myself.” Aden stated honestly. “And since you’ve been trying so hard to help me, I think it’s only fair that you get to know.”

“Gee, Aden- that means a lot.” Violet said happily.

Just as Dr Kempton had told him, Aden breathed deeply, and counted to ten before he began. “Okay, well...like you, my mum died when I was nine. Though it was for a very different reason- cancer. She battled it for three years before her body gave up the fight.”

“Aden, I am so sorry. That must have been so hard on you at such a young age.” Violet nestled in closer to him.

“I didn’t really get it, you know? I didn’t really understand what was happening. All I knew is that one morning, I woke up, and she was gone. It really broke my dad...once she had gone; he was never the same person. He turned to alcohol to cope, and it was obvious that he couldn’t look after three rowdy boys by himself. The teachers at school got involved, and they threatened to call child services if he didn’t get his act together, so he decided to get some help.” Aden closed his eyes briefly. “And that’s when my grandfather moved in.”

Violet grabbed his hand. His story was already so sad- he already had enough sadness in his life to last a lifetime, but she knew it was about to get worse.

“At first, everything was okay. Nothing strange was going on. Dad continued to drink, but I was used to that by now. But then, my eldest brother, Sean, he started acting out. Fighting, getting violent all the time- something had changed him. It happened to my other brother, Justin, too. It confused and frightened me- I didn’t understand what was going on with them. One night when I was eleven, there was a huge thunderstorm. I was crying for mum, because she always used to hold me in thunderstorms. But she didn’t come. Instead, my grandfather came into my room.” Aden started breathing deeply- every muscle in his body was screaming at him to stop.

“Its okay, Aden. Its okay.”

“He...he told me to calm down, to be quiet, that everything would be fine.” Aden gasped, holding back tears. “And then...and then...and then...he came at me...”

“And he molested you?” Violet said the words, knowing Aden needed to be pushed.

The tears dripped out of his eyes. “Yes. That night...he abused me...for the first time. I still remember it...every detail...” He trailed off, avoiding eye contact. “The next morning, I tried to convince myself that it was a nightmare- it hadn’t actually happened! And I managed to- he didn’t come back for a couple of weeks after that first night, so I thought it was all over. Oh, how wrong I was!” Aden laughed bitterly.

“How long did he do it for?” Violet asked.

“A few months, on and off, randomly and inconsistently. Dad was none the wiser- or if he was, he was always too drunk to care. And my brothers- they never said anything to me, even though I knew it was happening to them. I could look in their eyes, and I knew. I thought that the way to deal with it was to bottle it up, so I never told anybody. And then, a few months later, he died, and it all ended, as quickly as it had become.” Aden pushed the tears away with the palms of his hands.

“That is horrible. I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that. And by yourself, too!”

“I never confronted my grandfather. I never confronted Dad about how much he knew. Justin ran away and Sean was chucked into jail, so I never confronted them either. I never talked about it- I was taught that talking about emotions was a weak thing to do. Instead, I just got angry. I bullied people, I hurt people, I used people. I hated everyone.”

“I’m sure that I probably would have too, if I had been through all of that!”

“It was only this year that things started changing. My father’s alcohol had reached new heights, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I tried to confront him about it, but he denied everything. I started staying with this guy called Roman, and I met a girl. My dad ended up being chucked in jail, after a drunken hit-and-run. I ended up telling the girl what had happened, and she was great about it. But then she dumped me, and things started going downhill again. I accidently told my secret to Roman, and, because I couldn’t deal with all these people knowing, I tried to kill myself. I jumped off a building, and that’s how I ended up in here.” Aden finished.

Violet said nothing- she felt there was nothing else she could say. Instead, she pulled him into a hug. This time, Aden didn’t feel awkward about it. He hugged her back.

When he pulled away, Aden smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry I just offloaded on you like that.”

“Don’t be! I really appreciate you having the guts to tell me. That must be such a hard thing do deal with- no wonder you’ve turned out how you are.”

“But you’ve got your own problems to deal with. I really shouldn’t have burdened you with all of mine!”

“Well, to make it fair, one day I might go into more detail about mine!” Violet told him cheekily.

He laughed at her, holding out his hand. “Deal?”

“Deal.” She shook it firmly.

“Thankyou so much for listening, Violet.” He added quietly.

“Stop thanking me! It’s not about me, it’s about you!”

“It’s just, for some reason, I wanted you to understand.” Aden tried to explain. “You get me, or something. I don’t know!”

“I’ll go back to what I said- I think we both see a little bit of ourselves in the other. I think that’s why you wanted to tell me, because out of everyone you’ve told, I have the best understanding of what you went through.”

“Sitting here with you...it makes me feel less alone.”

Violet smiled at him. “You know Aden, I know one difference between us.”

“What?”

“Unlike me, I think you’re going to recover quickly.”

“But you’ll recover!”

“Yeah, but I’m always having relapses. You, on the other hand, I think that once your time in here is up, you’ll be well on your way to living a happier life.”

“What about you though? I want you to be happy too!”

Violet smiled sadly. “Thankyou.”

Aden waited patiently for her to continue, but she didn’t. Instead, they lay back on his bed and sat in silence for awhile. Aden eventually gave in to exhaustion, and light snoring filled the room. Violet continued to sit next to him, looking down at the sleeping boy, and felt grateful that, in the difficult circumstances, she could find a friendship like his.

[Deborah]

Another good chapter, you are very good at this angst stuff!

Hope Nicole lets Belle tell Aden about moving.

[Inactive User]

Great chapter. It's well-written and I enjoyed reading it. Update soon