Light and Shade

[Red Ranger 1]

CHAPTER 11

Belle lay in bed, her head resting on Geoff’s chest.They had both been silent, an empty, oppressive silence, ever since they’d made love.She slowly raised her head to look at him.“Are you all right?”

He nodded but she could see mixed feelings in his expression, the expression of someone who regretted something yet couldn’t quite bring himself to wish it hadn’t happened.“We should probably get dressed,”he said at last, before a thought occurred to him,“Un…unless you want to do it again?”

Belle no longer knew what she wanted.“Can’t we just lay here?For a little bit?”

He seemed to relax slightly.“Yeah.Yeah, okay.”He put his arms around her and the silence settled between them again.

Belle wished she could tell him how she felt, wished she knew how she felt.But instead she was more confused than ever.

Belle left the house as soon as she was dressed, telling Geoff she needed a walk.Had sleeping with him been a mistake?And if so, was it a mistake for her or for him?The actual sex had been fine, with the slight clumsiness but exciting freshness of a first time.But then there had been that silence, that endless awkward silence.And she had known then that part of him hadn’t wanted to do it, that she’d pressured him into it.The guilt of that weighed on her.

And as ever, when he was the last person she wanted to see, Aden was standing by the road.She somehow got the impression he’d been there some time, hanging around on the off chance she might walk past.“You thought any more about what I said?”he asked.

She carried on walking.“Aden, really, I’m not in the mood.”

He caught up with her, walking alongside her.“Come on, Belle, you must be thinking about it.That kiss…”

“…was a mistake, Aden, nothing else.”

“You felt something, Belle, I know you did.Same as me.Are you seriously telling me you feel that way with Geoff?”

“You know nothing about what I feel for Geoff.”

“Oh come off it, you’re not gonna get any joy there.The guy’s too attached to good old-fashioned Christian values to sleep with a girl who hasn’t got a ring on her finger.”

“We have slept together, not that it’s any of your business.”She regretted it as soon as she said it but she couldn’t handle this right now.

Aden seemed to take the news in his stride.“Okay, so he’s got more about him than I thought.What was it like?”

“If you think I’m going to award you both marks out of ten…”

Aden took hold of her arm, forcing her to a halt, and turned her to face him.“’Cos you and me were perfect, Belle.On every level.”

“Aden, you and I were never perfect.”

“And that’s why we are.’Cos we need each other.We belong together.”

Belle stood looking at him, trying to remember when things were simple.Life with Aden had never been simple, yet her feelings had been.She had known exactly what she wanted, how far she was willing to go to get it.She hadn’t had this confusion she had now.She knew she had feelings for Geoff, genuine feelings, yet here was Aden in front of her, reminding her of all that she’d had and which a big part of her still missed.

Slowly, almost as though she didn’t want to break the spell, she moved closer and kissed him, ignoring any doubts she had.

They were still kissing when they arrived back at his place.And they were still kissing when they headed into the bedroom.

“You slept with Belle?!”

Even though there were only the two of them in the house, Geoff looked around furtively.“Annie, keep it down.”

“Why?I take it Belle knows.”

“Yes but Irene doesn’t.And if she happened to be around the corner and overheard your little outburst…”

Annie lowered her voice but the tone of reproachful indignation remained.“You slept with Belle?”

“I knew I shouldn’t have told you.”

“But why, Geoff?I mean, how could you do that?How could you have sex with someone you don’t love?”

“But I do love her, Annie.”That seemed to startle her.In a way it startled Geoff as well.He hadn’t realised it himself until that afternoon, when he’d seen her with Aden.But in that moment, when he’d suddenly been faced with the prospect of losing her, he’d known exactly how he felt.

“What?”Annie still hadn’t gotten over the news.

“I love her, Annie.I love Belle.”

Her expression softened.“Well, I guess if you’re serious about her, if you’re going to stay with her, then that’s okay.”

He sighed.“No, Annie, it’s not.”

“I know we were always brought up to think…”

“It’s not that.I didn’t sleep with her because I love her or I’m serious about her.I slept with her because I was afraid she was going to go back to Aden.”

“Oh…”

He nodded.“Yeah.Not the best reason.”

Belle sat up in bed, the sheets hunched around her.They had spent the evening making love and then Aden had fallen asleep next to her.But she couldn’t sleep.Her mind was so full of guilt and confusion.What was she doing?Only a few hours ago she’d slept with Geoff and now here she was, in bed with Aden?Was that really what she’d come to, what her life had become?How had it happened?

She sat there in the darkness for hours.But the confusion in her head didn’t get any easier.

[Red Ranger 1]

CHAPTER 12

“Have you spoken to Belle yet?”Annie asked at breakfast the next morning.

Geoff shook his head.“She got back late last night and she was off to work first thing.I guess I’ll talk to her at lunchtime.”

“You need to tell her how you feel.”

“You really think she’d be interested?”

“Geoff, she slept with you.I don’t think she’d do that if she wasn’t interested.”

Geoff mulled this over.“Yeah, maybe.”

Annie was uncertain about whether or not to ask the question on her mind.“What was it like?”she said at last.

“Actually…I enjoyed it more than I expected.”He found himself unable to meet her gaze after that.

Aden was on the verge of giving up and heading off to school himself when he saw Geoff coming.Geoff clearly noticed him but seemed determined not to acknowledge the fact.Aden grinned.Making him uncomfortable was obviously going to be easy.As Geoff tried to walk past, he fell into step alongside him. “So, I hear Belle finally made a man out of you.”

Geoff turned sharply at that, locking eyes with him.He said nothing.

“Wasn’t yesterday afternoon, was it?”The look in his eyes confirmed Aden’s guess.“Oh man, it was, wasn’t it?”

“What’s it to you, Aden?”

“’Cos, Geoffy boy, she got straight out of bed with you and into bed with me.”

Aden wasn’t sure what reaction he was expecting.Most people, on being told that, would have thrown a punch at him or started bellowing threats.Geoff stopped and looked at him, as if searching for a sign that he was lying.Aden saw the sadness appear in his eyes as he realised he wasn’t.Then he walked on without a word.

Job done, Aden thought.One more piece of the puzzle slotting into place.And he had arranged to meet the next one later that day.Might as well make her feel welcome…

Aden checked through his wardrobe, searching for a suitable outfit.He had a feeling Belle would be round later and if things went the way he was hoping, he’d need to look his best.Nicole was still in bed behind him.“So, are we meeting up later?”she asked.

“Actually, it looks like I’m gonna be getting back with Belle.”

Nicole laughed.“Oh, yeah, I’ve heard that one before.”He turned to face her and she saw his expression. “Seriously?”

“Let’s just say I’ve reason to be confident.”

She gestured around her.“Then…what was all this?”

Aden shrugged.“One for the road?”

Nicole began gathering up her clothes.Aden was amused to see that she was getting dressed in a way that ensured he saw absolutely nothing, even though he’d seen it all a few minutes earlier.“Fine, Aden.That’s the way you want it to be?Then fine.But you’d better start thinking about how you treat people or Belle’ll be following me straight out this door.”

Aden watched her as she stormed out then turned back to his wardrobe.

Geoff had his back to the door but he heard her arriving home.“Oh, hi, Geoff,”she greeted him.He heard the guilt and embarassment in her voice.

“Last night.After you left here.Did you go back to Aden’s?”

Belle took a long time to answer.“Who…who told you that?”

“He did.I think he’d been looking forward to it.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to find out like that…”

“Do you love him?”

“I don’t know, I don’t really know anything anymore.”

He turned to face her.“I love you, Belle.I’m sorry if it hurts you to hear that but I need you to know.”

If anything, she looked even more guilty.“Geoff, I…I didn’t know.”

“I can’t make you happy, can I?”

“I have been happy, these past couple of weeks, I have.It’s just…”

“I want you to be happy.He made you happy, I know he did, I can see that now.You need to go to him.” He took a step towards her, touched her shoulder and kissed her on the cheek.“Be happy, Belle.”He left before she could say a word.

Belle looked after him, the guilt overwhelming her.How had she let herself get into this situation?She remembered how much she’d hurt Lucas when she went back to Drew.She’d sworn then that she’d never toy with anyone’s feelings like that again.Except…this was different.She wouldn’t be walking out on Geoff, he’d told her to go to Aden, pretty much given them his blessing.Was that what she was supposed to do then?Was she supposed to be with Aden after all?

Belle had barely knocked on the door when Aden opened it.She had a strong suspicion he’d been waiting for her.She took a deep breath.“Geoff and I have broken up.”

“So have me and Nicole.”

“So…I guess if we want to get back together, there’s nothing to stop us.”

“And do we want to get back together?”

“Yeah.Yeah, I think we do.”She stepped into the house, kissed him softly and then hugged him.

It was done.The decision was made.Except, in her heart of hearts, there lurked the worry that she wasn’t entirely sure who it was that had made it.

[Red Ranger 1]

Okay, I've managed to plough on with this so, for anyone who's keeping track, this is the penultimate chapter and the last one should be up either tomorrow or Monday morning before I leave.

CHAPTER 13

“She’s done what?”Annie demanded.

Geoff sighed.“She’s gone back to Aden.”

Annie plonked herself down next to him, arms folded.“I hate her.”

“Don’t hate her, Annie, she has to do what’s best for her.”

“But what about what’s best for you?You love her!”

Geoff wished he could share Annie’s simplistic view of things.“Yes, I do, but that’s no use if she doesn’t love me.”

“But I was so sure she liked you.”

“I think she does like me, she just likes him more.”He sighed heavily again.“Either that or I’ve just been kidding myself all this time.”

Annie put a consoling hand on his arm.“Well, I still like you more than Aden.”

“Thanks, Annie.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to hate her?”

“Quite sure.”

Belle relaxed on the beach, Aden’s arms around her.She felt comfortable.They hadn’t quite managed to get back to how they’d been before they broke up but she was confident they could in time, the spark was still there.She took out her camera and began snapping shots of the landscape.

“What you doing?”Aden asked.

“Just keeping my hand in.Practice makes perfect, you know.”

“But you’re taking photographs of nothing.”

“Excuse me, I am pouring my heart and soul into my work here.A bit of support from my boyfriend would be nice.”

He smiled.“You’ve no idea how good it feels for you to be calling me that again.”

She shrugged playfully.“Slip of the tongue.”

He didn’t answer, instead looking over at the path above them.She followed his gaze and saw Geoff there, walking past.He stopped to look at them.Aden turned Belle’s head towards him and kissed her.She glanced furtively across at Geoff, as she was sure Aden was doing.A look of hurt crossed his face before he put his head down and kept walking.She remembered how hurt he’d been when she’d kissed him in order to prove a point to Aden and she understood now how he’d felt.Aden kissing her didn’t have anything to do with the two of them, it was all about scoring points with Geoff.Furthermore, she knew Geoff didn’t deserve to be humiliated and that she still care about him.A part of her wanted to run after him, to apologise to him and try to make him feel better.

Instead she waited until he was out of sight before pushing Aden away.“You didn’t need to do that.”

He genuinely didn’t seem to understand where she was coming from.“Do what?”

“Torment him like that.I chose you, isn’t that enough?”

“He came close to ruining what we had.You think I’m just going to forget that?”

“It wasn’t all his fault.You were the one that went off acting all macho and hitting him.You were the one that broke up with me because I didn’t agree with you.”

“He tried it on with you!What was I supposed to do, just take that lying down?And then I found out you enjoyed it!”

“What?”However much truth there was in his words, Belle wasn’t going to take it.“I told you, I didn’t want Geoff to kiss me.”

“Didn’t object to it too much later though, did you?You went to bed with him, Belle!”

“While you were sleeping with Nicole!”

“That was different.I never felt anything for Nicole, not like I did with you.”

“So, it’s better for you to sleep with someone you don’t care about than for me to sleep with someone I like?”

“That’s just it.You actually liked that guy.And you expect me to just sit here and listen to you defending him?”

“It’s called being considerate of other people’s feelings, Aden.”

He sneered.“And we all know how…considerate you are.”

Belle was shocked by that.“And what does that mean?”

“I think you know.”

“I think I do but how about you spell it out for me just to make sure?”

“You’re very good at…‘moving on’.Me, Ric, Drew and now Geoff.Maybe if you weren’t so free with your affections we wouldn’t have this problem.”He got to his feet.“But hey, if there’s any time you feel like the one guy’s enough for you, just give me a call.”

Belle watched him go with mounting frustration.They’d been back together for two days and they were already at each other’s throats.She couldn’t help thinking about when she’d been with Geoff.Sure, they’d had disagreements, even arguments, but he’d never turned on her or belittled her the way Aden just had.

She caught herself.What was she thinking?When she’d been with Geoff, she’d wanted to be with Aden. And now that she was with Aden, she was thinking about how great things had been with Geoff?Was she just incapable of being happy?

Except…was that what happened?She thought back to that time.She’d still found Aden attractive, still caught herself looking at him every now and then.And he’d had that same way of getting under her skin, of being charming and annoying simultaneously.And yet…she and Geoff had been happy.In fact, she couldn’t think of one occasion when he’d been with her when she’d wanted to be with anyone else.What did that mean?

And the more she began to understand her feelings, the more astonished she became.

[Red Ranger 1]

Well, here's the ending.Hope people like it.

CHAPTER 14

“I’m sorry, Aden, I can’t do this anymore.”

The words echoed in his head as he made his way through the school corridors.He couldn’t believe it.How could he have been so stupid?He’d done it, he’d won Belle back, and then, just like that, he’d lost her again.All because he didn’t know when to keep his mouth shut, when to stop hurting people.He’d really tried to make the relationship work.He’d told her things he’d never told anyone else, said things to her and meant them.Yet still it hadn’t been enough.

“It’s like you’re two different people and the one isn’t worth the other.”

Well, that was it.He was through wasting his time on her.He wasn’t going to mope around and feel bad about it.Once it got out that he was single again, they’d be queuing up.Then he’d show Belle how much he needed her.

As if on cue, he noticed Nicole at the other end of the corridor.He grinned.She’d been pretty willing to provide a substitute before, he was sure he could charm her again.He sauntered over to her.“Hey, Nic.”

She looked at him, her expression neutral.“Aden.”

“I was wondering if you were doing anything tonight.”

She gave him a tart smile.“Belle dumped you then?”

“No, I just kinda thought…”

“Aden.She dumped you.Half the school knows.”

He shrugged.“Okay.What can I say?I made a mistake.But how about you and I rectify it?”

He reached out to put his arm round her but she slapped the hand away.“Uh-uh.You had your chance, you blew it.As far as you’re concerned, this body is now off limits.Anyway, I’m dating Ruby now.”

Aden wasn’t quite sure he’d heard right.“You and Ruby?”

“Well, the sparks were there so we thought they must mean something.”

“But she’s…But you’re…You’re not…”

“Guess you were enough to put me off guys for good.However will the male gender ever forgive you?You should try it some time.Everyone says you and Geoff would make a cute couple.Although I think you may have missed the boat there as well…”

And she left him alone in the corridor, feeling, like so many other people, very confused.

Belle paused outside her house.She felt so nervous, the contents of her stomach seemed to be doing backflips inside her.In a way, she was pleased.It showed that she hadn’t imagined it, that she really did feel this way. She took a deep breath and stepped into the house.

Geoff looked surprised to see her.“Belle!I thought you were going out this evening.”

“Actually, that’s why I’m here.I was wondering if you wanted to do something tonight, a movie or dinner or something.”

Geoff looked even more surprised.“You mean like a date?”

“Yeah.”

“But what about Aden?”

“We’ve split up.”

He shook his head.“Belle, I told you, you need to be with the person you love.”

“I know.That’s why I’m here.”

It took Geoff a while to realise what she’d just said.Even then, he quickly looked around the room, as though checking there wasn’t anyone else there that he hadn’t noticed.“Are you saying..?”

She crossed the space between them and kissed him.“I’m saying.I don’t know where these feelings came from or how long I’ve had them.All I know is, when we split up, I missed you.I missed your warmth and your kindness.I missed that embarrassed smile you always give when I compliment you.”Geoff smiled, embarrassed.“I missed the way you put me first.I love you, Geoff, and I want to be with you.”

Geoff just stared at her, his face a picture of happy bewilderment.“I’m trying hard to think of something to say but all I can come up with is…wow.”

She smiled.“It’s okay.I had longer to practise that speech.”

“Except…I love you too and I’ll do everything I can to make this work.”

She shook her head.“Don’t.That’s where we went wrong before, where I went wrong with Aden.It shouldn’t be about one person doing anything they can to make the other one happy.You have to meet in the middle.”She looked down momentarily.“I’m sorry about the whole sex thing, I shouldn’t have pressured you.If you want to wait, we’ll wait.”

The embarrassed smile made a reappearance.“Well, actually…I think, with a bit of practise, I could probably get used to it.”

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