Nowhere Kids

[Lustre]

I'm back, kinda, I still have alot of work to do for college but I have a chapter for you also, I'm a terrible auther and I apologies for my absence but I've been away for ages, longer than I thought I'd be. I actually wrote a few chapters while I was gone but while I was transcribing them ( all was hand written) I decided I didn't really like what I'd done with the story so I'm starting from where i left off again and I think it's alot better. I hope this goes some way towards making up for the long gap in updates and that someone out there still wants to read it.

Chapter 26

She flipped the page of the book on her lap, at this point she was only pretending to read it, no one bothered her this way, checking if she was okay or if she needed anything. There was only so many times she could tell them she was fine. She wasn’t fine, she felt awful, but it was a new kind of feeling, nothing like her dark moods of the past but it was still painful.

She raised her blank eyes from where she had been staring un-seeingly at her lap. Mattie was helping Ric study, her books covering the table in front of them as she patiently explained the intricacies of chemistry to her ever distracted boyfriend. He merely stared at her a glazed look in his eyes and an indulgent smile on his face having realised long before now that he was a lost cause when it came to academics. But Belle knew why he continued to sit with her day after day acting as if he cared about books and getting into Uni and school in general, he loves Mattie and it was important to her and that’s all he needed.

Her eyes shifted from her friends as she heard a gleeful squeal rip through her thoughts and she felt her chest tighten as they came to rest on the pool table across the room. Bright blonde hair swished gently through the air as Noah twirled Haley happily around the table. She potted the eight ball… finally. She wasn’t very good at pool but Belle knew Noah was determined to see her win a game every so often. The bright smile he was awarded well worth his effort when it came to holding back on his game, he was a shark with anyone else, a well known rule of the clinic was never bet against Noah especially when it came to pool. That was unless he was playing his Haley as he called her, she was the only one to ever beat him and Belle knew why: because he loves her.

Taking a deep breath she looked away, she refused to cry… again. But the words in her book were beginning to blur and her throat started to feel restricted and she knew she was fighting a losing battle, she always lost. She felt the couch beside her dip and an arm gently pull her close and she didn’t need to look up to know it was Drew. “You’re okay.” he told her softly and she nodded burying her face in the soft material of his jumper because she knew he wasn’t talking about her emotional well being, she was anything but okay on that front, he was letting her cry. He never asked if she needed anything or how she was feeling he was just there, sitting beside her, silent.

Her breathing calmed and she smiled a little when no tears fell, maybe she wasn’t such a loser after all. Maybe Drew was right, maybe she was okay. Shifting back she rested her head against the seatback closing her eye’s briefly, she was tired she hadn’t slept well since… her eyes sprang open, she didn’t want to think about that day anymore. She turned to drew as she felt his eyes on her.

“I have something for you.” he told her quietly, pulling a white envelope out of his jumper pocket.

It was blank and sealed; “What’s in it?” she asked unsure if she should open it, the idea of drew writing her a letter unnerved her somewhat.

“I dropped by your room last night.” he responded ignoring her question. “Why’d you throw it out Belle?” He asked his tone calm but she could still hear his anger through it.

She dropped the envelope quickly realisation hitting her suddenly. “This has nothing to do with you.” Belle retorted rage suddenly sweeping through her.

“You cry on my shoulder Belle, so yeah this has everything to do with me.” He responded his voice still calm and quiet.

“No it doesn’t Drew this is between me and … him.” she finished glaring at him.

“Come on Belle listen to yourself.” he urged. “You can’t even say his name.”

Belle flinched as his words hit her; she hadn’t thought anyone else had noticed. “F*ck. You.” she spat as she rose to her feet striding towards the door to the garden she needed air. “And stay the hell out of my room.” she threw over her shoulder as she pushed the door open.

[Taniya_K]

Aw, poor Belle. She's really not coping with Aden leaving, is she?

Loved it, though! Esp with her observations of Ric and Mattie, and Noah and Hayley [ ] Drew trying to comfort her was sweet!

I'm so glad that you haven't forgotten about this fic. It's one of the best on here! Will be waiting for another update!

xoxo

[LAURZY!]

Awwww Poor Belle!!

Loved how you wroite her thoughts and feelings, that was brill!

I also loved Drew attempting to make her feel better, wonder what the letter said?!

So, So glad you updated!! I love this fic!

[Lise]

Yay! I missed this fic. It's nice to see you back.

Poor Belle! She's really missing Aden.

The whole chapter was really good.

[Jody]

I'm happy to see you updating this fic. I missed it.

Poor Belle. She is really not coping at all. I loved all her thoughts on Ric/Mattie and Noah/Hayley. Ric and Noah really love their girlfriends, don't they? It's cute. I loved Drew trying to comfort her. It was was sweet.

Please update soon.

[Lustre]

chapter 27

She still had the envelope; she must have grabbed it before she’d stormed out. She was beyond angry at it, it wasn’t Drew’s fault but it was less crazy to shout at him than an inanimate object like an envelope. The minute she realised what was in it she also realised that drew had read the contents of it; it hadn’t been in an envelope before.

Glaring at the envelope one last time she strode across the garden to the bench, their bench. She contemplated reading over the letter again but thought the better of it she already had its contents spinning around her head she didn’t need a refresher.

She could picture his face from that first night they had talked on this very bench his apprehension, his confusion at her presence, it was the beginning of them, at least for her. He claimed that her fist day back at the clinic was the start for him that she had piqued his interest with the kiss but that night in the garden she wasn’t high or low she was just her which made that moment all the more important to her. A fresh wave of sadness hit her as the memories washed over her and she wished she could immerse herself in their happier times but they just made her all the more aware of his absence.

She was brought out of her gloomy musings as she heard soft laughter float up from the lawn to her left turning towards the source of her disturbance she sighed as yet another happy scene played out in front of her.

Geoff’s head rested in Nicole’s lap as she read some article from one of her fashion magazines to him while he played with the grass under his finger tips listening to her intently, he hadn’t been seen with his bible in weeks, he still attended mass every Sunday but he was a lot more relaxed and a lot more fun; and just like with everyone else Belle knew why: because of Nicole because she didn’t need someone to quote the gospel she needed a friend.

Belle continued to watch them surprise covering her face when she saw Geoff lean up and kiss Nicole gently, which was a new development. Maybe she should amend her previous statement from friend to boyfriend.

She’d always thought it was better never to rely on anyone else but herself, you couldn’t be disappointed in people if you never had any expectations in the first place. She loved her friends but they couldn’t leave her, which had been proved time after time when each and every one of them herself included had left the clinic only to return months if not weeks later. But watching everyone around her and the way they leaned on each other, the way it helped them survive helped them heal, relying on each other brought out the best in her friends; their selflessness and caring. And even with him gone he still helped her heal, helped her survive. But he wasn’t coming back.

“Are you going to actually come over or are you just planning on sitting there and staring at us?” Nic asked her biting tone breaking through Belles thoughts.

“Sorry.” Belle answered standing from the bench walking towards the couple trying to ignore Nicole’s glare

“What do you want?” the angry blonde demanded. “We’re busy.”

“Nic come on.” Geoff scolded sitting up beside her. “Be nice.”

“Don’t Geoff it‘s alright.” Belle told him. “Nicole I….” Belle started but she was cut off by Nicole.

“You have some guts coming over here.” Nicole seethed. "I have no idea what you could possibly have to say to me.”

“Nicole stop!” Geoff told her sternly. “Belle does not need you treating her like this.”

“What about the way she treated Aden?” Nicole demanded as she stood her words causing Belle to flinch back as if she had been slapped.

“Nic I’m going back inside and I think you should come with me before you say something you regret.” Geoff interrupted hoping to calm her.

“I won’t regret anything.”

“Fine. Belle I'm sorry, I tried.” Geoff shrugged before turning back towards the clinic

“He left.” Belle whispered. “Nicole he left.” Belle repeated stressing the word he.

“He’s better.” She replied. “Was he supposed to stay for you? “

“That’s not what I meant.” Belle retorted tears shinning in her eyes. “I’m happy he’s better , I love him.”

“You didn’t even say goodbye.” Nicole replied her voice softening slightly, not completely immune to the other girl’s distress though her anger lingered.

Belle shook her head forcing the tears threatening to spill over back.

“He didn’t wake me.” she whispered. “He didn’t want a goodbye, he made that choice.”

Silence engulfed the two girls as they stared at each other the words they had exchanged floating between them.

“You can’t even say his names can you?” Nicole asked breaking the silence between them. “You act like he’s gone forever like he doesn’t exist anymore, he’s not dead Belle; he’s just not here.”

“I miss him, so much. Every second of every day I miss him. I feel like I'm barely holding it together as is, if I think about him too much, if I say his name I know it will tear me apart. I feel broken Nicole and if I talk about it I feel like the rest of you will see that too.” Belle yelled back the volume of her voice shocking both girls. “I just miss him so much.” She finished in a heartbroken whisper.

“Say his name Belle.” Nicole demanded but her tone was soft. “Say his name.”

“You not broken Belle you’re sad.” Nicole continued when it became obvious that Belle had nothing to say. “And I wouldn’t expect anything less, none of us would. It’s a very healthy thing to feel and you wanting to hide it that’s normal too, nobody like to be seen at their worst. But you’re just making it worse for yourself.” Nicole told her before turning to make her way back into the clinic.

“Nicole wait,” Belle called halting her mid step. “Will you give this to him?” she asked shoving the stark white envelope at her. “Please?” she begged.

“Why should I?” Nicole asked her tone questioning, she wasn’t trying to be cruel but Aden was her family and she refused to do something that could hurt him.

“If not for me, then for him. It has everything in it, everything I need him to know.” She explained desperation coating her words.

Nicole nodded looking down at the slightly crumpled envelope. “I’ll think about it.” she replied turning back around. “And Belle,” she continued without looking back. “say his name, you might even feel better afterward.”

Belle continued to stand there in the middle of the clinics grounds for what felt like hours but she knew no time had past her thoughts were slow as she processed what had just transpired and the choice she had made by giving Nicole that letter, even if he never received it. She sank slowly to the ground her head coming to rest on the soft grass as the words floated through her mind.

“I miss you Aden.” she finally whisper and while she didn’t feel any better she also didn’t feel any worse. Maybe it was time to heal.

[Taniya_K]

Belle!

I'm glad that Nic, of all people, got through to her. I wonder what Belle wrote in that letter...

I hope things start to get better for her, although I don't want her to move on from Aden. But I don't like her sad either

Cannot wait for more!

[LAURZY!]

Awww Belle

Loved it, Nicole getting through to her was great! i hope she does give him the letter...

Cannot wait to read more

[Lustre]

Warning, I know nothing about psychology so this is completely ficticious and hopefully I wont offend anyone who does know what they're talking about. Sorry bout the delay this was a particularily difficult chapter to write. Hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 28

“Miss Franklin how nice of you to join me today I was about to send out a search party." Dr. Pullman exclaimed as Nicole burst through the door she would have laughed at his greeting if she hadn’t known he wasn’t kidding about the search party.

“Sorry I'm late.” she replied slightly out of breath from her sprint through the corridor. “I got… distracted.” she explained vaguely thinking of her confrontation with Belle in the garden. “It wont happen again.” she promised though both knew this wasn’t true, she was rarely on time for these sessions, in fact it had come to the point where the doctor scheduled them a half hour earlier than they were due to start hoping she would show up on time.

"Have another eyelash curling crisis?" doctor Pullman asked causing Nicole to smile at his use of her last excuse for her tardiness. She shook her head and he merely stared back at her knowingly.

“What makes you trust people?” Nicole asked after a few minutes of silence. “What makes you believe in them?”

Dr Pullman frowned unsure of how to answer, Nicole had been a difficult case; her attack and the betrayal of someone she loved had scarred her deeply and while they had broached subjects like this, especially where her mother was concerned, many times before it had always been at his provocations. “I believe that depends on the person Nicole, everyone has different ways of evaluating others characters on which they base the choice to trust, but I also believe a lot of the time it comes down to gut instinct.”

“But what if your gut instinct isn’t always right, I mean … I haven’t really had the best track record when it comes to the people I’ve chosen to trust; my mom, my step dad… Elliot.” She finished weakly.

“We all make mistakes Nicole we are only human, but what happened to you was not your fault their betrayal of your trust was not your fault. I think before we deal with your trust issues we need to addresses your self esteem issues.” Dr Pullman told her in reply to her self deprecating remarks.

“I don’t have any self esteem issues.” Nicole replied a note of finality to her tone.

“People don’t really believe in you do they?” Dr. Pullman questioned. “They tend to under estimate you.”

“Just because I'm blond and wear Gucci sunglasses doesn’t make me dumb or ditzy.” Nicole spat out bitterly. “People choose to see what they wanna see .”

“Do you think maybe you put on this façade in order to keep people away?” Pullman asked hopping not to push her too far aware of how uncomfortable a topic it was for her.

“You think I want to keep people away. Isn’t that the opposite of why I'm here, that I don’t know when to keep people away?” She asked sarcasm tingeing her tone.

“You were not wrong to trust these people Nicole ,your mother , your step father , your boyfriend, these are all people you should be able rely on, people who should protect you not hurt you.”

“I kind of even understand why they did what they did.” she told the doctor bitterly. “People are selfish by nature, I mean I know I am, so why wouldn’t they hurt me if it meant they got what they wanted.”

“That’s a pretty dark outlook don’t you think?” He asked.

Nicole frowned looking anywhere but his face. “Yeah well some pretty dark things have happened to me. People just don’t care about the pain they inflict on others as long as they don’t have to feel it themselves.”

“Do you really believe that?” Dr. Pullman inquired. “Do you have that little faith in humanity.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” she replied. “I try think of reasons to trust those around me and all I can see is the reasons not to. When you trust people you always end up getting hurt.”

“What about your father?” Pulman asked hoping for a more positive response. “You two seem to have a strong bond, a healthy father/daughter relationship.”

“He left when I was a kid, I didn’t see him for years.” Nicole replied quickly. “What’s to stop him doing it again, he didn’t want me then, why should he want me now?”

“Your father loves you deeply and unconditionally Nicole. I know this because I’ve spoken with him on countless occasions over the past couple of months and truly don’t believe he would abandon you.”

“Yeah maybe.” she sighed but he knew she didn’t believe him, severe abandonment issues were hard to recover from.

“What about your foster brother. Aden was a huge source of support for you while he was a resident here. Do you not trust him?” he inquired moving away from the topic of her parents in the hope she would not close herself off to him.

“Of course I do.” she replied quickly as if the idea was absurd. “But he has his own problems I’m not going to lay mine on top of his.”

“But you trust him?” he urged again hoping she would elaborate.

“He’s never given me a reason not to.” She explained and he knew from her tone that this part of the conversation would go no further.

“What about your other friends?” he inquired.

Nicole sighed gravely at this question. “What friends?”

“Well obviously I don’t know about out side the clinic but from what I’ve observed during your time here you’ve come to be close to some of your fellow residents, in fact you fit in faster than most here. What about Mr Cambell or Ms Hunter or Belle Taylor, you seem to have made fast friends with them.”

“Yes I suppose.” Nicole frowned unwilling encourage this particular topic considering what had occurred earlier in the day.

“You don’t trust them?” he pushed noticing the slight edge to her voice.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Did something happen?” he asked a knowingly he had hoped he would not have to raise this question but he wished to disscuss this particular issue before the end of their session and had now realised she would not raise it herself

“No.” she replied sternly. “Can we just drop it.”

He shook his head and she frowned realising that he knew more than he had let on originally.

“I was made aware of a confrontation that occurred earlier before you arrived, another member of staff informed me of it as they knew we had a session. Would you like to talk about what happened between Ms Taylor and you?” he questioned but she couldn’t tell if he was really giving her an option

Nicole glared at the desk unwilling to meet his gaze. She was angry that she hadn’t noticed anyone watching her and Belle argue. “It was nothing.”

“If you’re sure.” he replied calmly and she knew it wasn’t the end of it.

“We just had some stuff to sort out.” Nicole told him hoping to appease him as her fingers

instinctively went to her pocket where she had shoved the letter.

Sighing inaudibly at her unwillingness to talked Dr. Pullman searched for the right words to use as he knew the reason behind the argument, Nicole had become increasingly hostile toward Ms Taylor since the discharge of her brother and he had a feeling her animosity had a lot to do with Belles absence the morning of his departure. “People are only human Nicole, and when they do things that hurt each other it’s not always the ultimate betrayal it’s merely a mistake.”

“Whats that supposed to mean?” she demanded

“That people aren’t perfect and that sometimes they don’t do the right thing but it doesn’t mean there is malicious intent behind it, a lot of the time they just don’t realise the potential outcome of their actions.” He clarified.

They sat silently for a few minutes Nicole absorbing his words before he once again broke the silence.

“Sometimes you just have to believe that people are good and give them a chance, you’ll be surprised what you see and learn once you do.” He urged her. “I know that this is extremely difficult for you what with your past experiences but you have to learn not to blame those around you for the actions of others, our mistakes do not define who we are, their mistakes in their treatment of you do not define who you are.” He finished hoping that she was ready to hear this and accept his help.

She could feel tears pricking at the back of her eyelids as the doctor’s word washed over her and she knew they were true. “I hate who I’ve become, I hate that I can’t see the good in people anymore that when I look at them I just see their potential for causing pain whether it’s for me or the people I love. I just want to keep them away. They can’t hurt you if you keep them away.” She told him in a whisper a silent sob wracking her body as she tried to explain herself

“That must get lonely.” He responded compassionately once she had composed herself, this was a major break through for Nicole .

“Sometimes.” She finally responded when she felt controlled enough.

“You don’t have to be.” he replied

“I know.” she sighed resigned. “I’ve been trying so hard lately to just accept people for who they are but I just can’t see past their faults.”

“You have to try.” he told her, he knew it was obvious and even condescending but it was also true.

“I know.” she sighed again before standing suddenly.

“Where are you going Ms Franklin?” Pullman asked at her abrupt movement.

“We’ve pretty much done the time.” She explained.

“You’re welcome to stay.” he offered.

“I’ve got something I have to do.” she replied turning towards the door.

“Can I ask what?” He requested as she reached for the door handle.

“I gotta go take the first step.” She informed him before striding purposefully from the room the room her fingers clutching the letter in her pocket. She had to make sure Aden got it.

[xknomex]

That was brilliant!!!

it was good to get an insight to Nicole.. I really liked it and it was writtten so, so well!

thanks soo much for updating, love this fic

xxx