Internet Safety

[Symphony]

This is a story that I wanted to share with you guys - to explain why, in the past few days, I've been pulling back from personal contact / information with other BTTBers on Facebook, etc.

Back when I was younger, [well from 1998 to approx 2006], I used to play this online animal SIM game where you bought a horse from the store, trained it, got it points, bred it etc etc. You could also join clubs on there, and go into the talk rooms. In the main talk room, you'd get to know many players by their usernames [i was Symphony] and sometimes, from adding them on msn / aim, more personally. There was one girl 2 girls in particular that I got to know quite well, "CGR" and "Siren" - and one guy, "Saber."

CGR was from California, around the same age as me, Siren was from the States somewhere, 3 years younger than me, and Saber was from Canada, about 3 years younger as well. CGR and Saber got on really well and used to chat all the time. This went to texting on their mobile phones - and in one text, Saber asked CGR out ; ie to 'online' date him. I was sceptical but ... they went for it.

For two years, they were "dating" online. This involved texting as much as they could, phoning each other as much as they could, emailing every day, etc etc. Saber had a lot of problems at home; his Dad wasn't around and his Mum used to abuse him ; physically, emotionally, etc. So Lacey became his online crutch, and she supported him as much as she could.

After two years of them dating online, and making plans to meet up the following year, Saber said he was being sent to his uncle's farm for a few months and didn't know when he'd be back. He said his Mum was taking his computer & his phone away from him, so he didn't know when he'd be able to contact CGR. She went so far as to send him a mobile for his private use - he said he never received it.

Six months later, CGR was frantic having not heard from Saber at all. Then, one day, she got an email from an email address she'd never seen before... The email explained how 'Saber' had died from cancer. However the email also explained how Saber was actually a butch lesbian ; the beloved partner of the person that was now emailing CGR. Having gone online, when "Saber" died, Saber's RL lesbian partner found out that Saber had been carrying on an online relationship with three girls, all of whom Saber proclaimed to love. She found histories of their conversations, the mobile phone which Saber had used to contact them, and the images that Saber had used to be himself - taken from a Canadian hockey player site. Being a butch lesbian, Saber's voice had been deep enough for her to pretend to be a guy...

SO, CGR & the lives of two other girls were thrown into immediate panic, and disruption. She believed she'd been in love, that he'd loved her back - told him everything about herself, and dedicated her life to the time when they could finally be together .... and now it was shattered.

This all happened recently, about a year ago, I guess, and I just got to thinking about it the other day when I discovered for sure that the 'Bechlan' site on myspace is a fake, and not Rebecca Breeds at all. It also got me to thinking about how dangerous the internet is, and how we never know for sure if people are who they're saying they are.

That's my reason for deleting everyone from Bttb from my Facebook account ; that account has everything about me, and my real life friends, and, I'm just not comfortable with having people I don't know myself, with all that access to me.

All in all, I'm protecting myself, which, if you read CGR's story, I think is important to do. If anyone disagrees with me, or gets mad at me because of this, then I'm sorry but at the end of the day ... I'm not willing to put myself at risk, and, I think others should be wary too. Not 100% "omg i can't talk to you because you could be ANYONE" - but not stupidly open with information either.

Thanks for reading, if anyone did read - and again, apologies to anyone who's mad at me over the deleting of Facebook, etc.

-

Symph

[The_Hunters_Rock_My_World]

Guess what I so agree about this because I never give out my personal details,who I am or where I'm from and Symph I am going to have say, but that post would be the best ever I have read in a long time about internet safety.

[Taniya_K]

To be honest, I don't blame you for deleting everyone that you added that you only knew from online. Although most people are who they say they are, there's always that uncertainty that you can never prove until too late.

I'm glad you shared that story though. It really made me think about it all.

Thank you!

xoxo

[The_Hunters_Rock_My_World]

Here another story, if you don't mind

Has anyone gone on Bebo lately?? a memeber was pretending to be 'Miley Cyrus' (Hannah Montana) and added every random person on there, even my sister and her friends, but when she asked me if it was Miley Cyrus I knew it would be someone making up that they are Miley Cyrus.

[suzannelgnz]

Here another story, if you don't mind

Has anyone gone on Bebo lately?? a memeber was pretending to be 'Miley Cyrus' (Hannah Montana) and added every random person on there, even my sister and her friends, but when she asked me if it was Miley Cyrus I knew it would be someone making up that they are Miley Cyrus.

Thats the problem with Bebo, lots of randoms add you. So I hardly ever use it now because the majority of my friends are on FaceBook which I find safer.

[grumble bum]

This is a story that I wanted to share with you guys - to explain why, in the past few days, I've been pulling back from personal contact / information with other BTTBers on Facebook, etc.

Back when I was younger, [well from 1998 to approx 2006], I used to play this online animal SIM game where you bought a horse from the store, trained it, got it points, bred it etc etc. You could also join clubs on there, and go into the talk rooms. In the main talk room, you'd get to know many players by their usernames [i was Symphony] and sometimes, from adding them on msn / aim, more personally. There was one girl 2 girls in particular that I got to know quite well, "CGR" and "Siren" - and one guy, "Saber."

CGR was from California, around the same age as me, Siren was from the States somewhere, 3 years younger than me, and Saber was from Canada, about 3 years younger as well. CGR and Saber got on really well and used to chat all the time. This went to texting on their mobile phones - and in one text, Saber asked CGR out ; ie to 'online' date him. I was sceptical but ... they went for it.

For two years, they were "dating" online. This involved texting as much as they could, phoning each other as much as they could, emailing every day, etc etc. Saber had a lot of problems at home; his Dad wasn't around and his Mum used to abuse him ; physically, emotionally, etc. So Lacey became his online crutch, and she supported him as much as she could.

After two years of them dating online, and making plans to meet up the following year, Saber said he was being sent to his uncle's farm for a few months and didn't know when he'd be back. He said his Mum was taking his computer & his phone away from him, so he didn't know when he'd be able to contact CGR. She went so far as to send him a mobile for his private use - he said he never received it.

Six months later, CGR was frantic having not heard from Saber at all. Then, one day, she got an email from an email address she'd never seen before... The email explained how 'Saber' had died from cancer. However the email also explained how Saber was actually a butch lesbian ; the beloved partner of the person that was now emailing CGR. Having gone online, when "Saber" died, Saber's RL lesbian partner found out that Saber had been carrying on an online relationship with three girls, all of whom Saber proclaimed to love. She found histories of their conversations, the mobile phone which Saber had used to contact them, and the images that Saber had used to be himself - taken from a Canadian hockey player site. Being a butch lesbian, Saber's voice had been deep enough for her to pretend to be a guy...

SO, CGR & the lives of two other girls were thrown into immediate panic, and disruption. She believed she'd been in love, that he'd loved her back - told him everything about herself, and dedicated her life to the time when they could finally be together .... and now it was shattered.

This all happened recently, about a year ago, I guess, and I just got to thinking about it the other day when I discovered for sure that the 'Bechlan' site on myspace is a fake, and not Rebecca Breeds at all. It also got me to thinking about how dangerous the internet is, and how we never know for sure if people are who they're saying they are.

That's my reason for deleting everyone from Bttb from my Facebook account ; that account has everything about me, and my real life friends, and, I'm just not comfortable with having people I don't know myself, with all that access to me.

All in all, I'm protecting myself, which, if you read CGR's story, I think is important to do. If anyone disagrees with me, or gets mad at me because of this, then I'm sorry but at the end of the day ... I'm not willing to put myself at risk, and, I think others should be wary too. Not 100% "omg i can't talk to you because you could be ANYONE" - but not stupidly open with information either.

Thanks for reading, if anyone did read - and again, apologies to anyone who's mad at me over the deleting of Facebook, etc.

-

Symph

You had every right to do what you had to do. In these days of stolen identities you can't be to careful. I feel like that everyone on these chats sites are friends. Still we have to be careful what we wont every body to know.

[The_Hunters_Rock_My_World]

Here another story, if you don't mind

Has anyone gone on Bebo lately?? a memeber was pretending to be 'Miley Cyrus' (Hannah Montana) and added every random person on there, even my sister and her friends, but when she asked me if it was Miley Cyrus I knew it would be someone making up that they are Miley Cyrus.

Thats the problem with Bebo, lots of randoms add you. So I hardly ever use it now because the majority of my friends are on FaceBook which I find safer.

Same as me, expect I don't use facebook, I just can't trust that site enough but that me anyway

But let say I meet some of you guys way before this then I'd be fine, but not knowing who you are is not fine.

[Zetti]

I feel the same, I went through a stage where I had so many people adding me on MSN who I didnt know and it scared the hell out of me so I am very wary who I add on msn.

[Miranda]

This is a really good thread, Symphony.

There are things on BTTB that I don't think are sensible e.g. some 'get to know you better' threads seem to have excessive details about the users, which I don't think is wise.

I don't use Facebook or any of those networks because I don't trust them. I have lots of message board 'friends' on various forums but I am careful not to give too much away or tell them anything revealing because I don't trust most of them, to be honest.

This is also why I am completely honest about the fact that I am 40 years old, a mum and married, because I don't want people thinking I'm a creepy older person pretending to be a teenager or anything like that- I'm not!

The internet seems so safe and cosy as you sit alone in your bedroom/ wherever typing onto a screen, but someone once said to me if you put something on the internet, its like shouting it to millions [or billions] of people, who could do anything with your information.

[Symphony]

I'm glad to see it's not just me who feels this way - because I was beginning to think that it was

Miranda; your last line summed it up entirely.

This is also partially the reason for my deciding not to post spoilers from Palm Beach anymore - because I then get quoted, and people, when talking about it in real life, say, "oh moya from bttb told me..." etc.

And, if anything is misquoted [which it has been, which I've received an email about] then it's me that's at fault - even though I didn't misquote.

So, on that basis, and, because I feel it's a little unfair to Channel 7, as they don't realise who talks to who on set, and they already do realise official spoilers to us, [i didn't realise spoilers got dissected and talked about quite so much!] I'm no longer posting any spoilers

Anyhow, thanks for sharing your thoughts & stories guys :]