Internet Safety

[Skykat]

I won't go into details or name names because too many people were involved but myself and a fair few of the staff and long term members got into the habit of talking on bttb and then moved onto msn. There was one member we'll just call Mrs X who a lot of us felt close to and confided in, some even exchanged personal details and received birthday cards, texts etc from Mrs X. Mrs X seemed to have a lot of problems and as a lot of us shared similar problems we used to try and help her with her issues, sharing things about ourselves in the process. At some point a few people started to think that Mrs X wasn't as she seemed and certain things started to not add up. When those doubting Mrs X shared stories and compared notes it became clear that different stories had been given to all of us and that a lot of problems she had confided in one of us was something another had confided in her about. One of us managed to get access to her bebo page and on there her sister had posted things that contradicted things she had told us, such as her dad being abusive, her gran dying, she'd practically invented a whole family, a boyfriend, a step son, a disability amongst other things. She'd even told us she was pregnant but somehow managed to be online when she was meant to be in hospital giving birth. We decided to test her out and phoned the maternity hospital to ask what ward she was on only to be told they had no record of her. I emailed confronting her and we were all subsequently blocked from her msn. One of us emailed threatening to out her lies on every forum she posted on and she replied saying she was sorry but she was a compulsive liar. None of us have had any contact with her again.

The rest of us actually became a lot closer as a result of the incident and we've all added each other on facebook and verified details and stories and confirmed that the people we're talking to online are for real but it took a while for us to trust each other again and it certainly made me a lot more cagy about getting close to new people from the boards. I'll add people on msn but I'm now a lot more guarded than I used to be about how much personal information I'll give out. I've also stopped posting personal things about myself on the board such as in the support group thread because in the past it has been used against me and I know others have done the same.

I still try my best to be friendly on here, or as friendly as a power crazed admin can be but I'm definitely not as open as I used to be when it comes to making friends on here, I actually have a separate email account for msn which I'll gladly add bttb members too but you'll be lucky if you get my real personal email address out of me and I'll only talk to people on that account that I trust.

Don't get me wrong there are people on here that I know are genuine and I trust 100%, I'm planning to go and live with Mez and Joe for a while, I've spent a day with Coral, I would have met Jem at Palmie if I'd had the time and the others who I have on facebook know who they are. Any new people wanting to get to know me will find it more difficult because I'm a lot more guarded now than I used to be and its a shame really but like Moya, once you've been burnt self preservation becomes a strong motivation and it definitely pays to be careful with online friends.

[Zetti]

I have just recently had someone who added me on msn, last night in fact & he claimed to be someone who was at school with me, and I of course asked him what class he was in and it turns out he wasnt anyone I know but he knew a lot about me and it was really creepy at first till I worked out it was my brother winding me up, all I will say is that I rarely add people I dont know and even then I dont tell people a lot about me as I am scared of who they could be, most people who know me, know who I am and havent had the experience that I have. I would advise people to be wary till you know who they are.

[Adelle_fan1000]

Yeah internet safety is a big one...

I remember when i was 12 or 13 and i first got my internet hooked up at home.... and i joined a forum/chatroom and i met this chick and we became quite close fast (in the end we were penpals for 2 to 3 years and lost contact).... Me not being smart.. Stupidly handed out my HOME address to the chatroom of about 20 or so people.... I have to say i have been quite lucky that no one has shown up... My mum was not happy with me at all and kept on telling me not to do stupid things over the net.. Im assuming everyone thought it was just some fake addie

But now that im used to the whole internet thing.. I talk to people online for a few months and hang around in a "circle" and if i trust them i have given out my mobile number to a few peoples but i trust them because ive talked to them on SKYPE and ive also seen them on webcam

i trust them with my life....

What i dont get is.. why do these moron Teenagers go and meet strangers who turn out to be murders.. dont they know the difference

[Jess]

...she'd practically invented a whole family, a boyfriend, a step son, a disability amongst other things.

...and she replied saying she was sorry but she was a compulsive liar.

This is who I think it is, right?

WHAT THE F***?!

I mean, I know I haven't been the most active member here recently, but how the hell did I manage to miss this?!

[Cal]

...she'd practically invented a whole family, a boyfriend, a step son, a disability amongst other things.

...and she replied saying she was sorry but she was a compulsive liar.

This is who I think it is, right?

WHAT THE F***?!

I mean, I know I haven't been the most active member here recently, but how the hell did I manage to miss this?!

I don't think we ever told anybody about it, not until recently anyway. I was away during the "reveal", but I got an email from Y explaining what had happened. It was seriously freaky, but it all made sense.

We got along so well with her, sharing details etc. I had shared details, and Mrs X had used them to build this "family" of hers, such as my father's occupation. Her "sister" supposedly lived in the area of Dublin where my sister worked. I found that a bit weird, considering it was mostly offices there. But I didn't think much more of it.

*shudders*

[Eli]

I wasn't around when that whole story happened, and I didn't really know Mrs. X either, but in the aftermath I've heard about it, and I agree that it's important to choose who you trust and what you trust. Because of that I hardly add any people I've met online on facebook, except the staff members I know and people I have known online for ages. Usually it ends up mostly being staff members because it tends to be easier to get to know them, since obviously we have a lot of contact. But like I said I usually don't add people on facebook, and not that often on MSN either actually. It's not to be mean or anything, it's just a matter of safety measures.

[I love music]

I booked the day off work and I was doing some writing but I keep pottering on and off the net and reading stuff on here...

I didn't know you'd had all those probs with one of the BTTB members. I remember a couple of years ago there was another member on here, a guy, who turned out to be a bit stalkerish, wasn't there? I never go on MSN or facebook and I used to skip a lot of his posts on here as they seemed a bit rambling, I just read all about it much later on one of the threads.

I'm a bit stunned too that ppl give out so much info over the internet. I've been a member here for nearly 5 years and in all that time I think I've only ever given my email address to about 3 or 4 ppl and only Dan F knows my home address because I needed to send a cheque once. Heck, only about half a dozen ppl on here actually know my name! It may seem a bit over-cautious but when you read about stuff that can happen...

I'm pretty sure the vast majority of ppl on this site are very nice and normal but you have to remember anyone can hit on an internet site, not just nice, normal ppl.

[Pierced Musie]

The only reason I have joined Facebook is to stay in touch with some old buddies from another forum, because it is shutting due to inactivity. I have 6 people on my list who I haven't met but I trust them with my life because they are legit. Plus I've known them on and off for 7/8 years now ! They try to meet up in London every so often but never tried to force me into going because they know I'm a recluse.

But I hate Facebook. And anywhere else that ask for your full name. That is why I prefer Livejournal, where you can set it how you want it (public post, private or friend locked)...

And as for Mrs. X.... I had no idea until Katty filled me in.

P.S To those who have known me a while and are worried because I keep dropping off the radar. I am not a fake, I just have bugger all to say.

edited to add: I know who you mean when you say stalker! *shudders*

[grumble bum]

I am a mum who has a young teenage daughter. I always try and watch her when she uses the internet. She is too trusting and will unknowinly will give her details out to any one that asks. I am concerned about this.

My brother will sign any one up on face book. I on the other hand are cautious.

Even here on these sites we have to be careful.

[Cerise]

I don't trust as many people as I used to on the net, because my sister ran into some trouble on facebook a few months ago. I won't go into the details but it's a story that just made me really really weary of people on the net. Like Kat it's more trusting new members on here/ other forums or chats, because I definitely trust long term members and staff as we would have a lot of contact, especially the ones I have on facebook. My facebook doesn't have too much information, pictures etc on it because I just use it to stay in touch with certain people, mostly on forums, but its enough. I'd definitely trust these people I have on facebook but that being said I probably wouldn't meet up with the vast majority of people I talk to, not being mean or anything but just cautious about safety etc. There are one or two people that I probably would trust enough but I'd still be unbelievably cautious since what happened to my sister.