Returning Emotions

[Nicom]

Oh, and I'd just like to thank you all for being so smashing about my lack of updates.

WARNING: I used a naughty word.

Chapter 51

Her car cut into the warm, humid air, spinning dust out from under the wheels as they raced across the dirt covered road. Gushes of air swept in from the open window, deafening her ears and tugging at her hair. She glanced in the mirror, spotting her misty eyes and running mascara. Taking one of her firmly gripped hands off the wheel she rubbed at her eyes, and dried the tears with the sleeve of her jacket. But there was no use, they kept on coming.

She shuddered with another burst of tears as emotions wracked her body. She knew she shouldn’t be driving in the state she was in, but she had to get away. She didn’t know where she was going or what she’d do; there was only the one objective – to get away.

The sea, the beach, the diner were all possibilities. Perhaps she could go and get trashed at Noah’s, or even in her apartment. She could slouch on the sofa with a bottle of vodka in hand, taking a mouthful every time she thought of Jack Holden.

“Jerk.” She muttered under her breath angrily, returning her hand to the gear stick and upping a gear. She put her hand on the steering wheel and held it tight, wrapping her fingers around it as she took her frustrations on the car.

He was a jerk. A really, really big one. What kind of man would lie to not only the police, but to the woman he supposedly loves just to avoid witness protection? What was worse was that he had chosen his wants over her safety; he’d rather her get hurt than find a new home. That, she felt was the worst betrayal.

Jack was like a hero to her. He had saved her from Corey, and then from Henry a year and a half ago. Now he was doing the complete opposite. He wasn’t the man she thought he was. Instead, he was a weasel of a man. An excuse of a man. A pitiful, pathetic man. A man she couldn’t love.

It made her so angry just thinking about what he’d done, and how he’d gone about it. She couldn’t think straight, she had been taken over by her mixed emotions of anger and hurt; which were a deadly combination.

She slowed down slightly and turned the corner; her face was unchanged by the new environment. The lapping sea was on her right, and people were set up on the golden sand, sunbathing, relaxing and joking around. The joyous laughter didn’t affect her ears however, or make her turn her head to observe and enjoy the surroundings, it was deafened by the wind that was still pumping through the open window. She shook her head, trying to move the hair from her eyes. Her hands were too busy torturing the steering wheel to get involved with the annoying strands of hair. As she flicked her head once more, she noticed something on the pavement. It was a man, strolling down the road with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.

Martha instantly recognized him, and felt her face grow hot with anger. There he was, happy and jolly in a world of his own. He had no guilt; he had no pain and hurt torturing his brain. Just watching him made her glow with frustration and hatred; two very dangerous feelings.

Martha gritted her teeth. “Son of a…”

Ignoring her conscience telling her to keep on driving and calm down, she spun the wheel to the right, directing the car in his direction. She was going to make sure she wiped that smile off his face.

***************************

Jack snapped from his thoughts and focussed on the oncoming car; the car speeding in his direction. Before he knew it, it was a few metres from his feet, leaving him only one option but to pray it didn’t hit. Fortunately for him it did stop; after riding up the pavement and parking only moments from his legs. He gave a large sigh of relief, leaning on the bonnet as he tried to gather himself together.

He looked up at the driver for an explanation; only to find that it was Martha.

She threw the door open, tugging the hand brake hard before standing out of the car.

“You nearly hit me!” Jack exclaimed, signalling to the car with outstretched arms.

“Yea, sorry. I braked too early.” She muttered, leaning against the door.

Jack half laughed, “Sorry?”

Martha snorted, “Oh, you will be.” She spat out, moving from the door and slamming it behind her.

He looked bemused, checking her face again to see if any of this was a joke.

“What’s going on?” He asked.

Martha laughed, folding her arms as she approached him.

“I got called to the station this morning, by Peter. He said it was urgent, and that I couldn’t come alone.” She began, watching as Jack’s face fell. “So I was all in a panic when I arrived at the station, and then I was told that Henry’s still alive.” She explained, “Funny that? Seen as though you said he was dead.” She yelled.

Jack shook his head, grabbing her by the arms. “Martha, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want you to find out this way-”

“Oh no, you didn’t want me to find out at all! Because then I’d find out that not only are you a lying jerk, but you’re a selfish one!” She screamed. “You put me in danger so you didn’t have to go into witness protection, didn’t you?”

Jack hesitated, stumbling on his words as he tried to explain. But he couldn’t say what she was saying wasn’t true, because in some ways it was. He could only look up at her, watching as she screamed her words at his sorrowful face.

She laughed at him again, shaking her head with disgust. “And you can’t even defend yourself, can you? Because I’m right.” She growled. “I don’t know if I’d have preferred you to lie, or at least try and tell me that there was another reason behind why you didn’t tell me; but there’s not. You just didn’t give a damn about me.”

Jack shook his head, putting his hand on her cheek. “I do care about you. I didn’t want to leave you!” He said passionately, trying to get through to her. “I didn’t tell anyone for that reason, not just because I didn’t want to move, but because I didn’t want to move away from you!” He told her, closing in on her face.

She moved away from his reach, leaving his hand in mid-air. She stared at him, trying to think of what to say to him. She was so angry when she pulled up; she could have run the moron over right there on the spot. Don’t get her wrong, she still was livid; but she was beginning to hurt again. His touch felt so genuine, just as last night and this morning had, and to think it was all a lie from a pathetic man made her heart break. The look in his eyes did show real concern, and as he put his hand back down to his side she was sure she could feel the hurt from rejection, so why did it have to be fake? Why couldn’t it be real?

Tears began to spring from her eyes, slowly settling a layer of moisture on her lower eyelid as she gazed deep into his eyes, with no motivation or purpose. She swallowed down the lump of emotion in her throat as she tried to think of what to say, but nothing came to mind. She wanted to tell him how angry she was, and send him a thousand verbal threats and insults in a sentence. But, she knew if she spoke he’d sense it in her voice, the hurt and heartbreak that he’d caused. She knew he didn’t deserve to hear that he was loved or that she cared about what he’d done; so why did she want to tell him? And why did she so desperately want to ask why he couldn’t love her the way that she does him?

She backed away, shaking her head to the floor as her stubborn tears began to give way. She lifted her hand as she turned around, knowing that she could say no words. She opened the door, hesitating before sitting down and turning on the ignition.

“Martha, please… let me just explain.” He begged, walking to her door.

She shook her head again, slamming the door shut.

“You had plenty of time to explain.” She said through the open window.

Jack nodded, leaning down and putting his arms through the window to reach hers.

“I know. I’m so sorry. I just didn’t know how to tell you. I wanted to, but-”

“Then you should have found a way.” She finished, moving her hands away from his and onto the steering wheel. “Now get your hands out the car.”

Jack shook his head, feeling his throat choke with frustration and fear. Fear of losing her. “No, Martha, we need to talk about this. I can’t let you go when you’re mad at me.” He pleaded.

Martha looked up through the window-screen, focussing on the road.

“Get your hands out the car, Jack.” She growled, maintaining her tear blurred stare.

Jack felt his neck heat up, and his throat build with emotion and stubbornness. He could see her crying, and he could see how hard she was gripping the steering wheel. He could literally sense the hurt and anger radiating from her, and to know that he was the cause made him hate himself. He couldn’t believe what he’d done, and right now he couldn’t even make sense of why he’d done it. He just hoped she didn’t hate him for it.

Jack swallowed, “Martha, I can’t let go. I won’t let go. What about this morning? You were going to find a way for us to be together, weren’t you? Don’t let this wreck us. Don’t let us wreck us. Come on, nothings changed!” He grovelled, exclaiming his words.

Martha sighed, putting the car into gear. “Everything’s changed, Jack.” She said, roaring the engine. “Now get your f***ing hands out of my car, or I’ll take them with me.” She ordered through gritted teeth.

He looked at her stiff posture and straight face once more, before realising that he wasn’t going to get anywhere. He’d well and truly screwed up.

He closed his eyes as he stepped back, withdrawing his hands from the vehicle. As soon as he’d done so the car roared off, skidding from the pavement and sending a spray of discarded sand into the air.

He watched her with his hands behind his head as she drove down the road, praying for her rear lights to flash red and for her to reverse. But it didn’t happen. Instead, she drove around a corner and out of sight, leaving Jack all alone on the road, wondering why the hell he did what he did.

Next Chapter: J&M talk... will Martha forgive Jack?

[Nicom]

Lol, thanks shiningaurora. And well done! That's a lot of reading! I wouldn't do it. lol.

I'm not really happy with this chapter, I tend to go OTT when I get involved in writing it, but hey - its a chapter! It'll stop Becky bugging me for a few days anyway.

Thanks to Krys for proofing.

Chapter 52

Martha fell through the door, trying to keep her breathing under control. But there was no use, her tears were quickening and her sobs were becoming heavier. She slammed the door shut behind her and hurried to the kitchen, taking a bottle of water from the fridge and unscrewing the cap frantically. She dropped her bag as she cooled her burning throat with the water, and closed her tearful eyes as she tilted her head back. She stopped however after the third mouthful, and relaxed her lips as she brought the water away from them. She thought for a moment and looked over at Goldy, her goldfish and friend, before spinning around and dropping the bottle of water in the sink. She reached up in the cupboard above, and dragged out a bottle of vodka along with a tumbler glass.

She sat down on her sofa with both items, kneeling up on the cushions as she carefully unscrewed the bottle and poured some into the glass. Without hesitating she lifted it to her lips and shot it down, not wincing once at the pain in her throat.

She couldn’t get the picture of his face from her mind. He really looked upset. “But why would he care if I hate him? He doesn’t care about my well being…” She asked herself, shaking her head to the glass as she filled it up a second time. “He’s a jerk.” She muttered, raising the freshly filled glass of vodka to her lips again. This time, however, she stopped before it got to her tongue.

“MARTHA!” He shouted, banging on the door. “Please, we need to talk!”

Martha groaned, rolling her eyes as she rocked her head back on the sofa. She should have known Jack would have followed her home.

“Go away, Jack!” She called through the apartment, closing her eyes as she prayed he’d do as he was told. Unfortunately, he didn’t.

“No. I’m not going anywhere!” He protested. “Not until you talk to me.”

“Well you’ll be there a long time.” She warned him.

“I’ll stay out here all week. If that’s what it takes for you to listen, I don’t care.” He exclaimed.

Martha sighed, taking the second mouthful of vodka. She wished he wouldn’t do this; he was only making it harder for her. She hated him right now, and when you hate someone you have every right to be as far away as possible from them; so why was he at her door? She wanted him to leave her in peace, he just wound her up and got her angry, and she didn’t want to do something she’d regret later.

Jack paced around the landing, still cursing himself for his stupidity. He couldn’t think of what to say, because he knew everything he said Martha would probably come back with a “shut up” or some sort of death threat. He wanted her to listen, and he wanted her to understand; but he wasn’t sure if she was capable of that. Not that he could blame her, now he thought about it what he’d done seemed heartless and cold, and extremely selfish. But how was he supposed to tell the most stubborn woman on Earth that it wasn’t what it seemed?

He moved back to the door, putting his hands on either side of the door as he spoke.

“I’m sorry, Martha.” He said again, closing his eyes out of frustration. “I know it sounds stupid, and I keep saying it, but… I am really sorry.”

Martha looked over to the door, “So you’ve said, but I don’t believe you. Do you know why I don’t believe you? Because ‘sorry’ is for a mistake, for something that you really, really regret and wish to take back. Most of the time, it’s said to apologise for an accident. This wasn’t an accident though, Jack. This was a thought out, considered action, that you had plenty of time to fix.” She explained, “But you didn’t.”

He sighed, hitting his head gently on the door. “But I couldn’t tell you!” He exclaimed.

Martha laughed, shaking her head to the floor. “Of course you could. You just chose not to.”

Jack groaned, sitting down on the floor and resting against the wall behind him.

“I didn’t want to go back.” He told her honestly.

“But you weren’t going back to Henry, you were going somewhere else. You’d be safe and so would I. Didn’t you want me to be safe?” She asked him, sitting up straight as she waited for an answer.

“Of course I did! I wouldn’t have done it if I thought I couldn’t keep you safe. Why the hell do you think I’ve been following you everywhere, when I obviously wasn’t wanted?” He asked her.

Martha shrugged. “I thought you were just being annoying.” She said, dabbing her moist eyes dry with the back of her hand. Her crying had stopped now, and she began to listen.

Jack laughed, bringing his knees up and leaning his arms on them as he rested his head back. “No, I didn’t want you to be alone. Not with Henry around.” He told her.

Martha sat in silence. “Oh,” She said. “But you must have known that you’re no competition for Henry. He’d kill us both in an instant.” She told him.

Jack sighed, “Can you not word it like that? You’re making it sound as if I’m a weakling…”

Martha stood up in anger, “But you are! Compared to him, you are! And you know it as well as I do! That man carries bloody guns around with him! Guns that he’d use on us!” She roared with her hands on her hips as she faced the door.

Jack held his head in his hands, “I know, I just wanted to believe I could help you without having to go in witness protection.” He told her. “I couldn’t go away again. I wanted to, for your sake, but I knew I couldn’t. Because of Dad, because of Lucas and because of you. I couldn’t leave you, not again.” He admitted. “I wouldn’t be able to cope.”

“So instead you sacrificed my life, just so you could spend some time with us.” She concluded in a simple statement.

“But I didn’t think you were in danger!” Jack exclaimed in frustration, “I thought I could protect you! I’ve done it before!”

“I think you’ll find last time I ended up being shot in the stomach and left to die…” She reminded him, moving closer to the door. She sat down slowly, resting her back on the frame, and her vodka on the floor.

“Why can’t you be that guy again?” She asked quietly.

Jack, feeling that she had moved considerably closer and was now on the other side of the door, matched the volume of his voice to hers.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

Martha looked down at her hands, watching as they fiddled with the carpet below.

“You used to be that guy. That guy who saved me.” She began quietly. “You were Jack. You were sweet, you were caring, and you loved me.” She sighed, “Where’s he gone?” She asked weakly, feeling tears build up again.

Jack frowned, “I’m right here. I never went. I still love you. I told you that last night, and I meant it. I love you Martha.” He repeated to her.

She shook her head, wiping away a stray tear. “No. You’re not that guy anymore. He wouldn’t have done this to me. He wouldn’t have chanced my life like you have. He wouldn’t have dared to risk it.” She explained to him.

“Martha, I told you I-”

“I know what you told me, Jack. And I understand. You thought you could protect me if Henry came.” She snivelled, “But that’s not good enough.”

“Martha, I would have-”

“You would have done what? Jumped in front? Then what? When you were lying on the floor bleeding to death, then what would have happened? You’d jump up and take the next bullet, and the next, and the next. No, Jack. You wouldn’t.” She said. “And the old Jack wouldn’t have even considered putting me in that situation. Sure, he’d be stupid; but he’d be Jack. That guy I loved.” She whispered, closing her eyes to try and contain the escaping tears.

Jack took a deep breath in, feeling emotions getting on his own chest.

“Martha, you were going to get back together with me, weren’t you?” He said, desperately trying to get her back. “We can still do that. The feelings haven’t changed, I still love you, and you still love me. I know it. You have to; please don’t tell me I’ve screwed this all up.” He begged her, “Just open up and let me sort this out. Don’t turn me away because of this.” He pleaded.

Martha shook her head, brushing away tears. “It doesn’t matter what I was going to do. This changes everything.” She began to explain, “You put my life on the line, Jack. Whether you thought you could protect me or not, the fact is you put my life on the line because you didn’t want to leave.” She told him tearfully, “And now I might be leaving the bay alone, which screws everything up for Eamon and Richard. You can’t even imagine what this will mean to them.” She said through her sobs.

Jack clenched his fist together, staring up at the ceiling as he listened to her words.

“Please, please don’t do this.” He begged her. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Stop saying that!” She yelled, “Stop saying it! You can’t mean it! You made a choice. No one pressured you into it!”

“But I can still be sorry-”

“No you can’t!” She screamed, “You risked my life and you lied. You humiliated me Jack! You let me think that we’d be happy, when you knew that we were only going to end up dying in the end anyway. Who would do that!?” She asked.

He sat in silence, staring down at the floor as he tried to stay calm. Why was she sounding right?

“Who would do that?” She repeated in a whimper, moving her knees closer to her chest as she held them tightly.

Jack closed his eyes in pain, breathing heavily as he tried to focus on what to say. But he had nothing to say. His begging was doing no good.

“Tell me what to do Martha, and I’ll do it. Anything. Whatever you want I’ll do.” He promised her. “Just please, tell me how to fix this.”

She shook her head, “You can’t. You’ve done enough,” She told him, “Just, go away.” She said, crying into her knees.

Jack turned to face the door, rattling the door handle as he stood up. He cleared his throat. “Let me in Martha.” He ordered. “Let me in.”

She slowly stood up, picking up the vodka bottle and holding it loosely in her left hand. She shook her head again, and walked away.

“Let me in, Martha!” Jack shouted, banging on the door. “We need to talk.”

Martha rolled her eyes, getting frustrated. “We just did, and it did nothing!” She exclaimed from further down in the corridor, breaking into tears. She stared at the door for a moment in their silence. “Its over, Jack.” She told him a last time, before stumbling into her room.

Jack banged on the door again, refusing to take it as an answer.

“Let me in!” He shouted. “Please, let me in.”

**************************************

Oh, and if you haven't already... Join the J&M forum "This Old Love"! Its rather fun.

[Nicom]

Okay.. just quick summary...

• Jack and Martha slept together
  
• Martha told Eamon and they made a compromise about what to do about the weddnig. She was going to go ahead, but tell Jack the truth about it all, however...
  
• Peter called Martha back from her holiday early to tell her about Henry being alive, and strongly suggested she go into witness protection
  
• Her and Jack had an argument. Rather big. She's not a happy chappy. It ended with him outside her door, and her going for a little nap.
  
• As I'm sure you can understand, she was upset
  

Sorry, this chapter isn't that great. No Jack. But I'm hoping that I'll be wrapping the fic up soon, so you'll get some Jack. Also hasn't been proof read.

Chapter 53

A few hours later.

Martha’s eyes fluttered open, rolling around the room as she woke. She felt the hand gently stroking her hair from behind her, and she rolled over with a smile. The hand withdrew to the owner, who smiled sympathetically over towards her.

“How are you feeling?” Eamon asked her, from his sat up position on the bed.

Martha didn’t say anything. She blinked hard and sat up, combing her hand through her hair to take it from her face. But it did no good, as it fell straight back down.

She let out a small groan, feeling her eyes grow weak and teary all over again.

“Shhh,” Eamon soothed, moving the hair successfully from her eyes and scooping it behind her ear. “Happy faces.” He told her with a grin.

Martha gave a small smile, leaning over and putting her head on Eamon’s shoulder.

“Happy faces.” She repeated quietly into his chest.

He put his arm around her and squeezed, affectionately rubbing her bare arm up and down for a moment, before pulling himself away from her.

“Do you want me to ring Alf and ask him to cover for you? I’ll say you’re not feeling very well.” He suggested.

Martha considered it for a moment before shaking her head. “No, I’m fine.” She assured him, dragging herself off the bed. “I’m not letting Jack’s selfish ways wreck my life even more.” She said to Eamon as she grabbed a hairclip from her bedside table. Eamon watched as she looked in the mirror, roughly scooping her hair together at the back and clipping it into place.

She stared into the mirror at herself, moving closer and studying her face. “I best put on some make-up before I go out.” She said to herself, glancing at her watch to make sure she had time, and then leaning forward to grab her make-up bag at the corner of the dressing table.

Eamon watched her from the bed as she began to apply her make-up. He could see through what she was doing.

“You don’t have to pretend that you’re all happy to everyone, you know. A bit of make-up isn’t going to make everyone admire your bravery.” He told her.

She laughed as if Eamon had said something silly, and moved closer to the mirror as she applied on a coat of lip-gloss.

“Maybe I just want to look nice?” She proposed, unclipping her hair and throwing it side to side as she shook her head. “Besides, I’m not going to tell anyone about it.” She told him as she hunted through her make-up bag. “Where’s my mascara?” She asked in annoyance.

Eamon stood up, walking behind her. “When are you going to then? Don’t you want to say your goodbyes?” He asked her.

She shrugged, picking out her mascara from the bag and began to apply it.

“I’ll just say goodbye after the wedding, when we’re moving to the new house.” Said Martha.

He stood there in shock, confused at what she’d just said.

“What about witness protection!?” He reminded her.

Martha shook her head, “I’ll be away with my new husband and his boyfriend in a fortnight; I’ll be safe with you two then.”

“Martha, you’re not marrying me. You’re going in witness protection. I won’t let you get hurt.” He told her, pulling her around to face him.

She tilted her head with a smile, “Aww, sweet. But I am marrying you. I’m not letting Jack wreck yours and Richards’s life too.”

Eamon put his hand to his forehead, trying to get his head around how Martha was acting. Before she’d gone to sleep she was in sobs; and now she was the complete opposite. What was going on with her?

It was half way through his worries when something crossed his mind.

“A fortnight? The weddings not for a month.” He reminded her.

Martha smiled sweetly, “Oh yea, I was thinking we may as well move it forward. Quicker we’re out of this place the better – right?” She exclaimed enthusiastically, turning back around to the mirror as she began to fix up her hair.

Eamon stared straight at her, watching her with concern and confusion. He couldn’t understand her sudden personality swap. She was cheery and happy about it all, when he knew that it was definitely not what she wanted.

“No Martha, we need to talk about this.” He began.

She shook her head, spinning around looking down to her watch. “There’s no time, my shift starts in 5 minutes.” She told him, leaning forward and pecking him on the cheek. As she moved away she spotted his face, filled with care and worry. She smiled towards him, putting her hand on his cheek.

“I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not true. Honestly I’m fine. Sure, it hurt, but I have to get over it. I know what I’m doing.” She told his unconvinced face. “Beth or someone will give me a lift home,” She added, moving quickly through the apartment and grabbing her bag on the way. She strolled up to the door and pulled the handle, opening it wide and stepping through. She looked back at Eamon, who had followed her with his gaze of concern out in the hall way. “Happy faces.” She smiled softly, before shutting the door behind her.

But Eamon did not have a happy face; just one of dear worry for his best friend.

*************************

Martha stood behind the bar, staring forward as she day dreamed. Her hand was starting to ache from the repetitive movement as she wiped the bar clean over and over again. She’d been working on the bar for about 5 minutes now, her hand and arm automatically swaying from side to side to rid of the dirt. It had been removed and polished in 3 strokes, but Martha had been too deep in her thoughts to check.

Her wrist finally went stiff, sending aching pains through her arm. She dropped the cloth on the bar and caressed her wrist, moving her thumb in a circular motion to gently relieve the pain. She slumped on the bar stool behind, looking down with a frown as she nursed her sore wrist.

She looked over at the door with a heavy sigh, noting Richard and Eamon strolling in.

“I’m fine!” She exclaimed before they could say a single word.

Richard laughed, followed by Eamon as he sat on one of the stools.

“How did you know I’d ask you that?” He asked.

“Because you’re predictable. And annoying.” Martha groaned.

Richard nodded cheekily, earning a swat on the arm from Eamon.

“I’m only worried about you,” He told her.

“We both are.” Richard added shyly with a smile. Martha, taken back by Richard’s affection, paused to search for an answer.

“Thanks,” She said, smiling especially to Richard, “but I’m fine. I’m moving on... If Jack’s going to put my life at risk, then I’m better off without him!” She exclaimed. “He was a pain in the butt half the time anyway.” She joked.

Eamon sighed, “But you love him.”

Martha rolled her eyes, taking the cloth from the counter and beginning to clean.

“Martha, Richard and I have been talking, and we think you should go into witness protection.” He told her.

Martha shook her head, “No, I’m not going in. If Jack doesn’t need it, then neither do I. I’ll be moving away soon with you two, so why would Henry care about looking for Jack’s ex-girlfriend who is married to another bloke? I’ll be safe.” She said confidently.

“Well, I don’t want to take the gamble.” Eamon said.

“Good job it’s my decision then, eh?” She snapped, putting more effort into wiping the bar.

Eamon sighed, looking to Richard with a frown. Neither was prepared to put Martha’s life on the line just for their happiness, but it seemed there was no getting through Martha. She was as stubborn as she could be.

“Is there anything we can do?” Richard asked.

“Well, Eamon can ring his mum, and I’ll work on telling everyone else about the wedding being moved forward. Oh, and could you move the church booking forward? I’ll work on the reception.” She said with a nod.

Richard and Eamon sighed.

“We can’t move the wedding forward Martha.” Eamon told her.

She picked her head up with a frown, “Why not?”

“Because it’s impossible! At such short notice… we can’t do it! And we won’t. You need more time to get over Jack and to think. We won’t get married unless you’re willing and fully sane.” Richard said.

“I tried for you, so can’t you do the same for me?” She asked desperately. “Please.”

Eamon sighed guiltily, nodding gently. She was right; she had put herself out there on more than one occasion for them. The least they could do was what she wanted.

“Fine.” He gave in.

Martha smiled, “Thank you. You best go now and start, there’s lots to do.” She grinned. “Its quite exciting really.” She said happily.

Eamon and Richard nodded, standing up. “Just call me if you need anything, or if you change your mind.” Eamon told her.

She rolled her eyes with a smile, hugging him goodbye and watching as they left. Once they were out of sight she released a long sigh, loosing her happy facial expression and picking up the cloth in front. She fiddled with it for a moment, watching it flop around in her hands as she folded and twisted it. No matter how much she tried to entertain her thoughts, they always seemed to drift to Jack. Sensing that her vision had blurred because of the introduction of tears, she breathed in deeply to clear them, and began to busy herself with cleaning the bar.

[Nicom]

I don't like this chapter. It's pretty crap. But... it's been ages since I last updated, so I thought I better post something.

Sorry for the crappiness.

Chapter 54

Martha looked at her watch.

“Only half an hour to go” She whispered to herself as she drummed her fingers on the bar. It had been quite quiet for her whole shift, with little to do or think about. Fortunately Ric had been in to visit, and during their long conversation she’d actually forgotten all about Jack. That was until he left; then she couldn’t get Jack out of her head.

She was fed up of him. Not only because he was a complete selfish jerk, but because of what he’d done. He’d got in her head, and no matter how hard she’d try she couldn’t get him out. It was tiring and made her feel weak – it wasn’t natural to hate Jack. It took effort, and gave her a hell of a lot of pain. She didn’t know whether to cry or lash out on something.

A face helped her make her decision.

Jack walked in, hesitant at first, but she noticed his body push forward after a brief pause. They were both maintaining eye contact, knowing fully well that the other acknowledged their whereabouts and neither had left. Martha gritted her teeth.

“What do you want?” She asked.

Jack sighed, nearing the bar quicker. “I just want you to forgive me.” He said, putting his hands up. “I’m sorry, I know what I did was wrong and that I should have told you. I’m sorry.” He sighed, waiting for her response.

She glanced up. “Jack, you said this to me last night – why do you think anything’s changed now?” She asked.

“Because I thought you might have cooled off.” He told her innocently.

Martha laughed, “If you knew me at all, you’d know that I don’t ‘cool off’ after a night’s sleep. Especially when selfish jerks are involved.” She spat.

Jack held his breath, “okay,” he sighed. “What about if we go and sit together, talk things through. I’ll tell you everything – no secrets.” Jack bargained.

Martha looked at him, his face full of hope. Part of her was falling for him again, weakening and softening from the anger. Maybe this will help me understand, she thought, it can’t make things worse between us.

“Fine.” She uttered, “5 minutes, and that’s it.” She told him.

Jack nodded, struggling to hide a grin as she walked around the bar and almost gave him a civilized smile as she headed towards a nearby table. Maybe things will be okay after all, Jack thought.

They sat down opposite each other, both silent waiting for the other to speak.

“Well..?” Martha nudged impatiently.

Jack mentally kicked himself; he hadn’t realised that this meant actually talking about Henry. He’d been so wrapped up in the revelation and shocked that she was now on speaking terms with him that he’d forgotten about those details he’d just promised her. Where would he start?

He looked down to his hands, ready to explore his memories again. “Henry… Henry wasn’t a nice chap. He… um, he was very ‘hands on.’ Liked to throw his weight about a bit.” He added a fake laugh on the end. “Basically, he was getting revenge for a brother that I arrested a while back. He was trying to act all big, and by keeping me there and torturing me he did so. He’d bring people in to watch, or just to see the weak copper tied to a chair, foolishly trying to survive.” He said.

Martha’s heart broke as she watched him, sharing those painful memories. Since he’d started to talk, he hadn’t once looked up at her. He’d refused to make eye contact.

“Well, I didn’t have any choice really. He’d never hurt me enough to kill me; because what would be the fun in that? I’d be dead, and then he wouldn’t be able to make me suffer, or bring people over. An alive, tortured cop was much more fun than a rotting corpse. He’d taunt me, tease me with water, let me starve for days, move me into the sun for hours a day and watched as I boiled in my own sweat. He even killed people in front of me.” Jack said, staring to the ground. He could imagine them, the people with no names falling to the floor in front of him. He saw as the light left their eyes, and the screams left their mouth. “He’d laugh as I’d tried to help them, knowing fully well that I was always out of reach, or a second too late. So instead he let their corpses rot in front of me for a day or two, then finally drag them away, telling me what he was going to do with them. He was… unimaginable.” Jack sighed.

Martha felt her eyes water, watching as Jack relived his painful memories. She sadly reached over, putting her hands over his and lifting them up. She held them tight.

He looked over to her, giving her a sad smile, and watching as she affectionately rubbed his hands.

“I’m sorry.” She said, “I can’t even begin to imagine how it was for you.”

Jack shrugged, “You don’t have to. It’s alright; it’s behind me.” He told her.

Martha sighed, “No, its not. He’s back Jack. And you have to go.” She told him.

“So do you.” He said.

Martha shook her head, “I’m not going.” She told him. “I’m getting married in a fortnight; then I’ll be gone.”

Jack opened his eyes wide in shock. “A fortnight? What about us!?” He exclaimed.

Martha rolled her eyes. “Don’t start….” She sighed, letting go of his hands.

“Have you told Eamon what happened between us?” Jack asked. “He has a right to know.”

Martha stood up, “So did I!” She exclaimed angrily, heading towards the bar in a huff. Her anger was well and truly back, smacking her in the heart to stop the sympathy. She couldn’t believe she’d actually forgotten all about what he’d done and started to feel sorry for him.

Jack spun around, opening his mouth to challenge her. “I thought you’d forgiven me for that!”

Martha slammed an empty bottle in the bin, shaking her head. “No, I just felt bad for you. I never said I’d forgiven you. You should have told me about this ages ago.” She said.

Jack rolled his eyes, angrily thumping his hands onto the counter. “Martha, just… shut up.” He snapped.

Martha looked up in surprise, shocked at what he’d just said. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Jack growled. “You’re acting like you’ve never kept anything from anyone! Fine, what I kept from you was big – but get over it! I never left you in danger, and if I really thought you were in trouble I’d have gone to the cops! I just wanted our lives to be as normal as they could be until Henry finally came to get me. I didn’t want to disrupt yours and precious Eamon’s life; I was actually trying to do what was best for everyone!” He shouted angrily. “But you didn’t see it that way, did you?” He asked rhetorically. “I was the selfish jerk who put your life at risk, even though you seem to not even care about your life! You’ve got the opportunity you apparently wanted, to go into witness protection, and you’re not going! So why the hell are you so angry at me!?”

Martha shook her head, turning around to ignore him. “I don’t have to listen to this-”

Jack grabbed her arm, swinging her around. “Yes you do.” He told her. “I know you were upset at what I’d done, fair enough I should have told you. But you’re not even going in witness protection! You’re angry at me for not allowing you to do something that you’re not interested in doing anyway!” He yelled.

Martha stood still, watching without uttering one word. She had a churning in her stomach, she was starting to realise where he was coming from, and that his point made sense on some level, but in no way was he right and she sure as hell wasn’t ready to reason with him.

They stared at each other for a moment, Jack’s chest rising and falling at every angered breath he took. He was flicking between her eyes, waiting for her to say something.

She stirred for a second, unsure whether to let her words loose from her tongue.

“You never gave me the choice. It’s my life Jack!” She exclaimed.

Jack shook his head, angrily piercing his lips tightly. This was going nowhere.

“Fine. Have fun with it. You know everything now, you have your choices.” He dismissed carelessly, grabbing his keys from the bar and storming towards the door.

Martha turned the other way, rolling her eyes. “Why thank you!” She yelled sarcastically after him, spinning around in fury as she faced the other wall.

Jack stopped for a moment at the door, rocking back and forth on his feet. His head turned slowly, facing her tiny frame at the other side of the room.

“I can’t believe you’re the Martha that I came back for. I can’t believe I risked everything for you.” He said in a distant tone, staring airily towards her.

At his words, she slowly rotated to face him, returning a silent stare. Their gaze only touched for a few seconds, before Jack tore his head downwards, shaking his head a little as he exited.

Martha stood still, alone in the bar area. His last words echoed through her brain. She steadily stumbled backwards to a chair, slowly taking a seat in her trance. Tears began to blur her vision, and she felt a throbbing pain in her heart. Her and Jack couldn’t even talk without arguing, and her wedding to Eamon was closing in. Oh, and let us not forget the crazy Henry man who’s running around.

[Nicom]

Ooh, I'm updating again! Get me.

Chapter 55

13 days later – 1 day until the wedding

Jack sat up on the sofa, rubbing at his eyes as he woke.

“Good morning sunshine,” Kim smiled as he strolled into the room, “slept on the sofa again I see. What’s wrong with your bed?” He asked.

Jack groaned, “Don’t start.”

Kim sighed, pouring a glass of orange juice out for each of them.

“I don’t need to; you know you need to sort yourself out. Martha’s not going to want a pathetic loser like you.” Kim told him with a smile as he picked up the drinks and walked over to Jack.

Jack rolled his eyes, accepting the orange juice and taking a quick sip, before resting it on his knee.

“She doesn’t want me anyway. ‘Pathetic loser’ or not. Just stupid Eamon… I mean, why is he so fabulous anyway?” Jack asked sarcastically.

“Maybe it’s because he didn’t keep a life threatening secret from her, or because he doesn’t spend his nights drinking himself to sleep on the sofa.” He said smartly. Jack glared at him. “Just a suggestion,” Kim laughed, lifting his hands up innocently.

Jack moaned again, putting his head in his hands. “I’ve said I’m sorry; that’s all I can do. She can’t forgive me, and on some level I guess I can understand, but…” he trailed off.

“But that doesn’t help you?” Kim guessed. Jack nodded sadly. “Have you got any more notes from our special friend?” He asked, changing the subject.

Jack sighed with a nod, pulling another red envelope from the side of the sofa. “Last night when I got in it was waiting for me on the doorstep. He must have posted it when you and Rachel were asleep.” He said.

Kim leant over and took it, opening it up and reading the note. But it was blank.

“I don’t get it.” Kim said, turning it over to check if there was more.

Jack began to laugh, “Neither do I!” He exclaimed in his joy.

Kim sighed, “Have you told Peter?” he asked, but Jack was too busy laughing to respond.

“Wow, you’ve gone crazy.” Kim said, standing up as he put the note beside Jack. He ruffled his friend’s hair, before moving back off into the kitchen. He finished his drink and put it in the sink, turning his attention back to Jack. He had settled down by now, and was drinking his orange juice.

“Jack, what are you doing?” Kim asked with a sigh.

Jack lowered the glass from his lips, swallowing the orange juice that was in his mouth before speaking. “I’m drinking.” He answered.

“No, what are you doing with your life? You know Henry’s about, you and I both know he’s coming after you… what’s going to happen if he gets here?” Kim asked him.

Jack thought for a moment, drumming his fingers on his chin. “He’ll kill me.” He said with a smile.

Kim shook his head, “Jack…” he growled, “You can’t wait for him to kill you.” He said.

Jack sighed, “I don’t need this…” He said, standing up slowly from the sofa and stumbling through the lounge. “Stop nagging. I’m practically ‘the dying’; shouldn’t you be nice to me?” He asked.

“‘The dying’ aren’t usually this stupid.” Kim returned, watching as Jack left the room. Once out of sight, Kim dropped onto one of the chairs, sadly hanging his head as he attempted to think. He couldn’t sit back and watch his friend die – some action needed to be taken.

***********************************

Martha sighed, standing in front of the tall mirror. She turned around again, checking all aspects of the dress before giving a nod.

“Yea, it’s fine thank you!” She called through.

The curtains behind her snapped open, unveiling two cheerful looking women. One, the dress maker, the other, Eamon’s mother.

“Aww, doesn’t she look beautiful!” Eamon’s mother cried.

The dress maker nodded, “Yes, she does. It fits perfectly – if you don’t mind me saying.” She blushed at her own compliment.

Martha laughed a little, before turning back around to look at the dress. It was gorgeous, with delicate white detail on the body which spiralled out on the A-line skirt. Sure, a bit too puffier than she’d have hoped for, but it wasn’t her ideal wedding anyway. She’d left Eamon’s mother to most of the organising as she didn’t have the effort to fight, or care enough to compete. The wedding meant nothing to her, just a ring on her finger and a house in the city. She wouldn’t care if she got married to Eamon in a pair of jeans and an old shirt.

“So, I believe your weddings tomorrow; are you ready for the big day?” The dress maker asked.

Martha smiled, turning around to face the cheerful woman. “Yea, I think so.” She faked a grin, before running her hands down the dress. “I’m going to get out of it now; I don’t want to crease it for the wedding or anything.” She said.

The woman nodded understandingly, “Of course love. If you need a hand, just shout through.” She said, closing the curtain after her.

Martha looked at herself again in the mirror, taking a deep breath in. She couldn’t believe the wedding was tomorrow! The last two weeks had gone so quickly, she could barely catch her breath. Physically, she was ready. On paper, she was ready. But in her heart; she wasn’t even close. She knew what she had to do and what she was going to do; but she wasn’t sure if she could. When it came down to it, she wasn’t sure if she could force herself down that aisle – not with Jack still in her head. She hadn’t seen him since their argument, yet she still hadn’t been able to forget about him. Every moment of every day she’d be thinking about him, wondering if maybe she could forgive him and put it behind them. She didn’t even know how he was, if he was okay or if he was even in the bay! She assumed that someone would tell her if anything bad had happened, or if he had gone into Witness Protection, but she was almost certain that no one would mention the words ‘Jack Holden’ to her otherwise. Eamon and Richard knew not to because she was still hurting, while everyone else knew not to because of what he’d done.

Once Colleen had found out, the news about Henry had spread and the town was on high alert – yet he still hadn’t been found. She and the others hoped it was because Henry had given up; but in her heart she knew not to be so naïve. He was just waiting for the right moment to pounce.

Martha swallowed a lump of fear, and began to slowly unzip her dress, dreading the time tomorrow when she’d have to be putting it back on.

***********************************

Jack and Kim had gone over to Beth and Tony’s for lunch, to eat dinner with the family; a time that Jack very much enjoyed.

“I’m… stuffed.” Jack sighed, pushing his chair out a little as he rocked his head back.

“Does that mean I can have your meat?” Lucas asked cheekily, leaning over and swiping Jack’s plate up. Jack laughed as he watched Lucas empty the remainder of Jack’s food onto his own.

“You’re such a pig,” he said in astonishment.

“I’m a growing boy!” Lucas grinned, handing Jack back his plate and digging into his own.

“Yea, in more directions than one.” Jack chuckled, poking Lucas in the stomach. The table roared with laughter.

“Thank you very much for the delicious meal,” he smiled to Beth.

Tony sat up straight in his chair, “Hey, what about me?” He asked.

Jack stood up, gathering his pots. “What about you? You didn’t cook it.”

“How do you know? You weren’t even here when it was being made.” He said.

Jack sighed, walking over to the kitchen with his empty plate and glass. “Because… it was edible.” He grinned cheekily.

Tony shook his head to the table, “I’ll give you edible…” He muttered, standing up suddenly and darting towards Jack. Jack, feeling like an 8 year old again, shouted out in surprise and bolted through the kitchen and out the back door, followed closely behind by Tony. The rest of the table stood up with them to watch from the kitchen window. They laughed at Jack and Tony, struggling against each others strength on the back garden, as they both competed to get on top of the other. A few moments later, Lucas sped onto the back garden, joining the struggle of bodies and cries of pain and laughter.

“The Holden boys,” Beth sighed with a smile, wrapping her arm around Matilda. “What have we got ourselves into?” She laughed.

***********************************

Next time: Will Jack be persuaded to go into Witness Protection?

[Nicom]

Here it is... I'm updating again Thanks to Tasha and Rachel really...

I haven't proofed... so, sorry! No JM "interaction" Sorry guys. There should be in the next chapter.

Chapter 56

Lucas, Tony and Jack were sat on the sofa, heavily puffing and panting to catch their breath.

“Dad… you’re getting old.” Jack smirked. “I whopped your ass out there.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “Only because Lucas was wrapped around my legs. You two cheated!” He exclaimed.

Jack shook his head playfully, “Nah, you’re just old. Right Luc?” he smiled to Lucas. Lucas grinned in reply, high-fiving Jack in the air.

“So, Jack… what’s going on with you?” Kim asked as he walked in from the kitchen. “When will you be going in witness protection?”

Jack looked up at him angrily, “Don’t start.” He warned. But it was too late, the rest of the household were too eager to talk about it.

“You’re going in witness protection?” Lucas asked.

Jack shook his head with a sigh, “Nope.” He answered. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.” He joked, leaning towards Lucas to scruff his hair. But Lucas dodged his aim, standing up sharply in front of Jack.

“Why not?” He asked.

Jack sat shocked, “Because I don’t want to leave you guys. Why, do you want me to go?” He asked, hurt.

Tony stood up, “Yes!” He answered for his youngest son. “We don’t want you to leave either, but we’d rather you go in witness protection than…” Tony finished with a slight chill shooting through his spine.

“I might as well be dead if I go.” He told them. “If they never catch Henry, I won’t see you guys ever again.”

“But you’ll be safe and well, and that’s what’s important to us.” Beth spoke softly.

“Well, not to me,” Jack started, “I don’t want to live on my own in some strange place. I’d much rather live out as long as I’ve got with you guys. It might be months left till Henry makes in contact with me, and even then he might not kill me - we could get him first!” Jack said.

“I don’t want to take that gamble.” Tony told him sternly.

“Well, I do.” Jack said, standing up and grabbing his jacket from behind.

“What about a police escort? They should be offering you one of them to guard you.” Beth said.

Jack shook his head, “I know all the guys from work. I don’t want one of them being shot instead of me. And I’d much rather live the time here I’ve got left doing stuff I enjoy.”

“Like what – drinking yourself to sleep at night and receiving blank red envelopes through the letterbox?” Kim asked. Jack shot him another glare.

“What? Is that what you’ve been doing? Oh, Jack, that’s no way to live. Surely you’d have a better life somewhere else - and a longer one too.” Beth sighed.

Jack put his hand to his head, “No!” He exclaimed, “I’m not going into witness protection! I keep running from Henry, and it’s obviously not working! He’s always going to come back and mess up something. I’ve got to face him. This is how it’s supposed to be!” He growled, “I’m going for a walk, I’ll see you all later.” He said in a mutter, leaving the house in silence and guilt.

********************************

Jack was sat down on the beach, playing with the grains of sand between his fingers as he stared out to sea. He was too busy thinking to sense the man sitting down beside him.

“We didn’t mean to get you into a state, we’re just worried.” Tony said.

Jack sighed softly, “I know, it’s just… there’s so much going off in my head. There’s what happened with Henry, Henry coming back and Martha. I just want to forget about it all.” He told his Dad.

“Sounds like you have an easy way out then with witness protection,” He said wisely, “No Henry or Martha. It won’t get rid of the pain, I know, but you could see a counsellor for that and get yourself better.” He told him.

Jack chuckled, “Oh, so now I’m crazy am I?”

“No, Jack, you’ve just been through a lot.” Tony said with a sigh, “I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you. I should have known that you’d had a rough time and helped you through it.” He said guiltily.

Jack shook his head, “No Dad, what you did was great. I needed my own space, you know me, I don’t like to worry you.” He said with a smile. “And I don’t want to leave you either, or Luc. I lost you before, I can’t do it again.”

Tony sighed, putting his hands on Jack’s and giving it a squeeze. “We lost you too, you know.” He reminded him, “And we don’t want to lose you again either, but if it means that we don’t lose you forever then we’d rather you go into witness protection.”

“But it might be forever! What if Henry is never found?” Jack asked.

“Then we’ll have comfort in knowing that you’re happily living out your life somewhere safely.” He said.

Jack sighed, “But… I don’t want to keep running away! It’s not working, and it’s not me. I’m supposed to be a cop, yet I’m hiding all the time. He’s a crim - I can’t let him win!” He exclaimed.

Tony shook his head, “Don’t think like you’re a cop, think like you’re a man. A son and a brother. Last time you didn’t run you got taken in by him. When we thought you’d died it tore us to pieces. Your brother and I, we… we changed with the grief. After your mum died I didn’t think I’d feel a pain quite like it, but I had just the same heartbreak, maybe even more.” He said sadly. “Don’t see it as running away from Henry; see it as running toward a new, trouble-free life! You could get married, have kids, and get a big house by the sea or in the city – whatever you want! It’s your canvas to paint with!” Tony said with a smile, “If you can’t do it for yourself do it for your brother and I. He worships the ground you walk on, and although he’d kill me if he knew I told you, he does love you Jack. He changed so much when you left, and now you’re back so is he! Everyone noticed the sudden burst of happiness he has since it turned out you were alive and well. If he has to bury you, well, I don’t know what will happen to him.” Tony coughed, a lump of emotion crawling up his throat. “I don’t know what will happen to me.”

Jack looked up to his father, spotting the tears had filled the strong man’s eyes. He’d never seen him so emotional, well, not over a conversation anyway. Just watching his father made Jack feel sad. He was obviously deeply concerned about Jack, and he was really passionate about Jack going into witness protection.

Tony cleared his throat, standing up with a sigh, “I best get back, Beth won’t be happy if I leave all the washing up to her. I’ll see you later.” He said with a small smile, before turning away.

Jack stood up sharply, “Dad,” He called, watching silently as he turned around. “I’m sorry for what I put you guys through.” He told him.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Tony said.

“I know, but… I feel guilty. I guess I never thought about what it was like on you two. I should have done.” He told him. “For the record, I missed you guys like crazy. But I swear, if you tell Luc I’ll…” Jack warned, lifting his fist up playfully.

Tony laughed at his son, smiling as he put his hand on his shoulder. “It’s not only your brother that loves you.” Tony told him, sharing a brief smile before pulling him in for a hug. Jack could feel Tony’s grip get tighter, his strong arms wrapped securely around his eldest son. Closing his eyes, Jack could have easily thought he was a kid again – bar the fact that he was now the same height as his father. He didn’t need to say anything in return; the affectionate hug was enough for Tony to know that his son felt the same. So, without words, the two men pulled apart, shared a brief smile, and Tony went back home to help Beth with the pots, leaving Jack on the beach to reconsider witness protection. Tony had done all he could, and was confident that Jack would do what was best; he’d be proud of his son whatever.

************************************

Martha checked herself over in the mirror once more before leaving the room.

“Right, I’m off then!” She called through, grabbing her handbag off the kitchen table. Eamon and Richard emerged from another room, both smiling happily towards her.

“You look gorgeous.” Eamon told her, walking over and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Why thank you, you don’t look too bad yourself.” She smiled in return, “Have a good bucks night… go look at naked ladies!” She laughed.

Eamon groaned, rolling his eyes. “Sounds fun,” he commented sarcastically. Richard smirked from behind. Martha laughed, but was hushed when Eamon took her hands. “Martha, you know that it’s not too late – if you want to duck out now, you can. No hard feelings.” He told her.

Martha smiled, “It is too late, Tasha and Rachel would kill me if they couldn’t wear their dresses.” She joked, “but even if it wasn’t too late I wouldn’t back out. I want to do this for you.” She told him, letting go of her hands as she stepped back. “I have to go now, but you two enjoy yourselves and don’t be here when I get back!” She exclaimed as she neared the door. “Oh, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” She winked to them both with a giggle, opening and closing the door behind her.

But as she reached the end of the corridor her smile dropped and she gripped onto the banister of the stairs, feeling her breath getting caught in her throat. She closed her eyes as tears began to heave upwards, trying desperately not to cry. She closed her mouth tightly, breathing deeply for a breath or two, before slowly letting go of the banister and opening her eyes. She had to get through this – for Eamon and Richard. They were all she had left.

****************************************

Next chapter - JM argue again, and who crashes the hen party?

[Nicom]

This hasn't been proofed either, and it's not written particularly well....

Chapter 57

“There she is!” Colleen cried, jumping up with her finger alerted towards the door. The rest of the girls spun around in delight, all shouting and cheering as the happily grinning Martha strolled into Irene’s house. Rachel and Tasha ran to Martha’s side, Tasha looped a “Bride-to-Be” sashay around Martha’s upper half, and Rachel just danced beside her. Martha stood startled and laughed at them both.

“You’re crazy!” She giggled, looking down at the sashay across her front.

Rachel and Tasha pulled her to the sofa with eager grins, sitting her down and kneeling at her feet excitedly. Martha looked around the girls; or women should she say. Sally, Beth, Irene, Cassie, Matilda and Colleen were all there, glammed up and looking magnificent.

“So, what are we going to do tonight then?” Martha asked, slapping her hands together as she looked around, “DVD?” She guessed, picking up a case nearby and looking it over. She turned her nose up as she read the cover, “Lord of the Rings?” She said in disappointment.

Tasha laughed, shaking her head and swiping the DVD from Martha’s grasp. “No, silly. That’s Robbie’s junk.” She said, chucking it over her shoulder. “We’re going out to Noah’s – to party!” She cheered with everyone else.

Martha grinned, “When?” She asked.

“Now!” Rachel exclaimed excitedly, as her and Tasha took a hand each and pulled Martha up. Martha laughed with them, giggling as they skipped off out of the house, the crowd behind them buzzing with excitement and fun.

Meanwhile, a figure hid in the dark of the bushes, he was knelt down in the dirt with his eyes glued on the girl with the sashay, talking and giggling with her friends. His smirk was lit with a touch of light from the nearest lamppost. Henry waited until they were out of sight to reach into his pocket and withdraw his phone. With a devilish grin, he scanned through his phone book and rung the number, organising Martha’s surprise.

**********************************

Martha, Rachel and Tasha were the first to stumble through Irene’s house, after Irene had unlocked it of course. They were giggling and whispering, playfully pushing each other when one had made a cheeky, teasing remark. After a few misses, the three finally sat comfortably on the sofa, their hands out for a glass of Sally’s wine.

“I think you girls have had enough,” Sally said with a giggle, reluctantly pouring each of them a glass. However, when Martha reached out for hers, it was given away to a smug Beth.

“Hey!” Martha objected, sticking her lip out.

“You’re getting married tomorrow! We don’t want to have to ask the priest to whisper.” Beth chuckled.

Martha sighed loudly, “Spoil sports.” She said, crossing her arms in a huff. The girls beside her laughed.

“Hey, at least you get to have some. Mum won’t let us have any!” Matilda complained with Cassie.

“Thank you again for letting us hold the Hens Party at yours, Irene.” Martha said, looking over at her with a grin.

Irene smiled, “My pleasure darl.” Irene had offered her house after the original plan of the party to be held at Rachel’s seemed to be a bad idea. After Jack’s deception over Henry, the bay had very much understood Martha’s anger towards him, and anyone sensible would know that placing those two together would cause trouble. Fortunately now the night could go without Martha even thinking of Jack – getting herself drunk was also a planned technique too.

The party was in full swing with Beth, Irene, and Sally sat listening to Colleen’s rants, Matilda and Cassie near the CD player, and Rachel, Tasha and Martha squabbling on the sofa over the wine. That was until 3 loud knocks sounded clearly on the door. The party stopped, and all of the ladies turned to face the left side of the house. Cassie, being the closest, got up with a groan, skipping to the door and swinging it open. She was startled at what she saw.

“Hello, may I come in?” The tall, handsome cop asked politely.

Cassie nodded, “Yea, sure,” She said, stepping aside to let him stride in. He nodded in thanks and walked to the centre of the room, looking around.

“What’s going on here?” He asked.

Martha, having a certain dislike for cops at that moment and feeling more confident than usual stood up, lifting her head high. “We’re having a party.” She told him.

The man looked down at her sashay, and then to her face with a smile. “A Hen’s night. I see you’re the bride-to-be.” He said with a smile, wandering over to her. Martha looked him up and down, keeping her head high and back straight.

“Yes, what do you want? Have I done something?” She asked.

The cop smirked, thrusting his hat to her chest, and pulling his shirt open to reveal his muscular upper half. Everyone’s jaws dropped in shock, and Colleen’s emitted a scream.

“It’s filth!” She screamed, “These are not ladies, they’re monsters!” But the room seemed to ignore her, all eyes were on the handsome man in front, who was smirking down at Martha as he threw his shirt to the floor and began to undo his belt. That was until Martha stopped him.

“Did you do this?” She asked Rachel and Tasha.

The stripper interrupted, “No, a guy called Jack did. He said you always liked a man in uniform.” He said. Martha turned red with anger, looking down to the ground as she tried to calm herself down. She was getting married tomorrow, and he chose now to try to get in her head? She’d tried so hard tonight not to think of him, and it had been working – now he’d ruined it all.

Martha stormed past the stripper, shoving him the policeman hat and running out of the house in search of some fresh air. She ran through the door, down the drive way and past the dark bushes where the smirking man was hid. She needed to go somewhere to think.

**********************************

Jack was sat on the beach, he’d returned to it about an hour ago to try and think some more. Whilst what his Dad had said had made much sense to him and he wanted to do it for him and Luc – he wasn’t sure if he could give up on Martha just yet. Though she claimed to hate his guts and she was getting married in the morning, he still believed that she loved him. And if there was a chance that he could be with her, he wasn’t going to let it slip away.

He looked up, responding to a movement at his right. There she was, walking across the beach, her hair and skirt flowing in the wind, and arms roughly around her body, staring straight into the ground. She must have seen him too, as her head suddenly picked up and spotted him sat down nearby.

Martha gritted her teeth. “Oh, he’s in for it now,” She grumbled, quickly changing direction and charging up the beach.

Noting that she was heading in his direction, Jack stood up and met her half way. “What are you doing out here? Aren’t you supposed to be at your hen’s night?” he asked.

Martha glared at him, “Don’t worry, I got your present.” She snapped.

Jack looked confused, “My present?” He repeated.

“God, you’re so full of it Jack!” She exclaimed angrily, “Can’t you please just get over yourself, get over me, just… stop! I’m getting married tomorrow, and you go and try and get in my head!” She yelled angrily. Jack looked between her eyes, searching for an explanation.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to have done!” He cried innocently.

Martha groaned, “Oh that’s it, pretend you don’t know and lie. You’re good at that aren’t you Jack?!” She shouted.

“You’re drunk, aren’t you?” He asked, putting his hands on both of her shoulders. “You shouldn’t be out alone, let alone drunk. Let me take you home…” He said, but Martha struggled out of his grasp.

“Fine, I’m drunk. But I’m not stupid, and I definitely don’t need your help!” She cried.

Jack sighed sadly, “Martha, about us, we need to talk. I need to know if you have any feelings for me.” He said.

“Apart from hatred and disgust – no.” She said spitefully, but Jack ignored her.

“Martha I’m serious, I know there’s something between us, and you can’t deny it. There’s always been something between us and there always will be. Just tell me you feel it too!” He exclaimed.

Martha glared at him, her eyes full anger and fury. She couldn’t believe he was trying to do this, the day before her wedding. Not only had he wormed his way into her hen’s night and then denied it, he went on to try and make her say something she really shouldn’t. He was a jerk!

“Jack, I’m getting married tomorrow! You had your chance and you blew it. I’m just fed up with you now. You nearly messed up my life, but tomorrow I’ve got a chance to actually make it mean something, and you’re trying to screw that up too!” She exclaimed angrily.

Jack ignored her, grabbing either side of her to keep her still. “Tell me you don’t love me.” He said sternly. “Just tell me you don’t love me, and I’ll give up. I’ll let you get married, I won’t turn up tomorrow begging you not to marry Eamon, and I won’t mess up your life ever again – just tell me you don’t love me.” He bargained, gripping her tightly with nerves.

Martha stared at him, her face unmoved or bothered by his words. She was still fuming that he was trying to do this to her the day before her wedding, angry that he had disrupted her hen’s party and that now he was trying to make her admit that she loved him. But she wasn’t that stupid.

“I don’t love you.” She told him, watching as his face fell. He let go of her slowly, his hands retreating to his side as his arms hung lifelessly.

“Can I go now?” She asked, feeling a little dizzy and sick from the alcohol.

Jack nodded, giving her a small smile. “Sure.” He said quietly. “Just be safe.” He told her. Martha ignored his nice comment, knowing that it was probably only said to make him appear like the good guy again, and wandered off. Jack watched her wobbling, drunken figure until it had disappeared into the dark. He turned to the sea, staring out into the night sky as he thought. The pain that Henry could inflict on Jack was no competition with the pain Martha’s words had just played on his heart.

Henry watched on, a smirk plastered on his face. He sat at the top of the beach, waiting for Jack.

“Time’s up Jacky boy.” He grinned, digging into his pocket to feel for his prized possession. He pulled it out, watching as the moonlight shone on the smooth metal case and lit up his silvery eyes. He put the gun back in his pocket and looked out to Jack, who was still pretty much in the same position as before. Henry decided to wait for a while, just until he thought Jack had suffered enough of the pain of losing Martha, and then he would strike. It would be much more satisfactory that way.

*********************************

Next chapter - It's the morning of the wedding... can Martha remember what happened between her and Jack? Does she have any regrets? Speaking of Jack, where the hell is he? And the secret behind Eamon and Martha's marriage is shared.

[Nicom]

Chapter 58 – The Wedding Day

Martha groaned, turning over onto the empty space beside her. She yawned wide and begun to stretch, knowing what she had to do today. She rolled back over and turned her alarm clock off from the side of her bed, and hopped out. She stumbled through her room and out into the lounge in her pyjamas, aiming towards the source of caffeine. Once she’d reached the kitchen, she flicked the switch on the kettle and sat down at the table, near her favourite fishy friend.

“Goldy – what am I going to do?” She asked the bowl, “I’ve got to walk down that aisle in 3 and a half hour’s, all happy and pretending I love Eamon. When I don’t; not in that way.” She sighed, dropping her body forward and banging her head on the table. “I don’t love Eamon.”

Her head stopped all movement and her eyes shot open. Those last words gave her a funny feeling in her stomach, like she’d said similar before and her brain was trying to remember. But she couldn’t.

She sat upright, calling herself crazy and standing to the kettle. As she took herself a cup down from the cupboard, she heard someone enter.

“We wouldn’t say no to a cuppa either…” Rachel grinned as her and Tasha walked into the room. Martha smiled, reaching up to get another two cups out of the cupboard, and began to make the coffee.

“So… it’s your big day! Are you excited?” Tasha squealed.

“Someone definitely is.” Martha laughed, handing them both their coffees and sitting on the sofa with hers. They all took a good drink before continuing to talk.

“So, what happened last night? I can’t remember a thing!” Martha laughed, “Now that is a sign of a very, very good hen’s night.” She told them with a grin.

Tasha giggled, “If that was a compliment, then you’re very welcome.”

Rachel smiled, “You must remember going out… Colleen very nearly having a heart attack when that man asked her to dance?” She asked.

Martha laughed loudly, nodding, “Yea! Yea I remember that. And then going home… wow, I was drunk.” She giggled.

Tasha nodded, “And then… we got that surprise.” She said cautiously, knowing that the topic of Jack was never good.

Martha shrugged. “What surprise?” She asked.

Rachel sighed, taking over, “You know, the stripper cop. The surprise from Jack. You ran out in anger, and then you came back later telling us that you’d saw him down the beach and told him off. And then you had a massive rant on how much of a jerk he is?” She said. “And that is when you downed a bottle of wine – hence the memory loss.” She winked.

Martha sat in shock, looking away as she tried to focus on her returning memories. She remembered it all, walking up to him on the beach, shouting at him, and telling him she didn’t love him. He looked so desperate to hear that she loved him, and when she said she didn’t, he looked heart broken.

Martha gasped, putting her hand over her eyes. “Oh no…” She sighed, shaking her head. “Urgh, idiotic Martha!” She cursed, taking her hand from her eyes and looking up at the two of them. “I really laid into him, and told him I didn’t love him!” Martha exclaimed in horror. “His face… he looked so hurt.” She said, sinking down in the sofa. “What have I done?” She asked herself.

Rachel and Tasha looked at each other, then at her. “You were so proud of yourself last night, going on about how he was such a jerk and how you told it him straight…” Rachel said, confused.

“That was when I was drunk, and stupid!” Martha exclaimed. “And now I bet he totally hates me.” She frowned.

Tasha leant forward, “And? You totally hate him, don’t you?” She asked, growing concerned.

Martha looked at her two best friends, unable to lie for any longer. She looked down sheepishly to her coffee, muttering her words. “No…”

Rachel put her hand on Martha’s arm, “You don’t still love him, do you?” She asked. Martha looked up at them sadly, feeling tears fill her eyes. “Oh, Martha.” Rachel sighed softly, putting both of their coffees on the side and moving forward to embrace her in a hug.

Tasha watched on in shock, trying to get her head around it all. “But… what about Eamon?” She asked. Martha withdrew slowly away from Rachel and took her and Tasha by the hand. She sat in silence for a moment or two as she thought it over, but eventually came to a conclusion.

“There’s something I have to tell you,” She said with a long sigh, swallowing down her nerves, “something I should have trusted in you guys a long time ago.” She said, trying to figure out how to start.

*******************************************

Kim strolled out of his bedroom and into the lounge half asleep, just as he did everyday.

“Wake up Jacky,” He said, following his ritual and grabbing a carton of orange juice from the fridge. He took two glasses out of the cupboard and poured them each a serving. “Get up then!” He said in a louder voice, walking over with the two glasses and peering over the sofa. But instead of seeing a sleepy Jack, he saw an empty sofa. Kim looked around in suspicion, wondering where his friend was.

“Jack?!” He shouted through the house in wonder. When no response came Kim shrugged. “He’ll be next door or out on a jog or something.” He said aloud to himself, putting the spare orange juice on the side, downing his, and leaving the room without even noticing the red envelope which lay amongst the post near the sofa.

*******************************************

Martha walked out from the bedroom with her wedding dress on, putting up a smile to her two best friends.

“Come on! Aren’t you going to get dressed? You’re my maids of honour; you’re not going in your jammys.” She joked, trying to cheer them up.

“We can’t let you go through with this knowing what we know. This will change your life forever!” Tasha said, standing up in protest.

Martha shook her head, “This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you! I’ve gone all this way to get married to Eamon for them; I’m not going to give up now!” She told them. “I’ve thought about this a lot, and it’s what I want to do. If I can’t have my ‘happily ever after’, then Eamon and Richard will.” She explained.

“Who says you can’t have your happy ending, Mac? You even said that Jack was looking for you to say you love him – he obviously loves you too! What’s stopping you guys?” Tasha asked.

Martha sighed, “We slept together at the hotel and were going to get together then. I was going to tell him what I’ve told you, and then we’d be together and I’d get married to Eamon so everyone would be happy. But then I heard about Henry, and I was hurt that he could lie to me like that. That’s when I got stubborn, and I didn’t want to let him in again to hurt me… but I ended up hurting myself even more.” She said.

Rachel frowned, “What if he’s at the wedding – will you tell him then?” She asked.

Martha shook her head. “He won’t be there. He bounces back every time I reject him, every time I say no… but this time, this time I really hurt him. I don’t think he’ll come back to me. I think he’ll let me be.” She told them with tears in her eyes.

“Then chase after him!” Tasha exclaimed.

“When? I get married in an hour, and granddad is picking us up in half an hour.” She told them. “There’s no time.” She said sadly.

Rachel stood up, “I’ll track him down and get him to that church,” she told her with a smile, “you just get ready, look gorgeous, and be at that church. We will do the rest.” She told her, grabbing Tasha and scooping her arm around her.

Martha laughed, drying her tears with the back of her hand. “Thank you,” she smiled, leaning forward and hugging them both. Perhaps things were going to be alright after all.

***********************************

Martha stood in the room in the back of the church, pacing the floor back and forth as she waited for Jack to be brought to her. She didn’t know what to say to him, or where to begin. Would she apologise straight away, or would she try and explain her reasoning?

“Ooh! Just improvise Martha!” She said, trying to calm her breathing. The click of the door behind her made her jump, and she excitedly spun around. Unfortunately it was only Rachel and Tasha.

“Well, where is he?” Martha asked them anxiously. “Does he not want to see me?” She guessed from their faces.

Tasha shook her head, “We just can’t find him.” She told her.

“You can’t find him?” Martha repeated, her heart beat starting to quicken again with worry.

“Tony, Beth, Lucas and Matilda aren’t here either.” Rachel said, in much confusion. “Kim said that Jack was gone when he’d woken up this morning, and looked like he hadn’t slept in his bed or the sofa, so he assumed that he’d gone out drinking or something. He’s gone back home to look for him again, and he’s going to go to Yabbie Creek to ask around too.” She told Martha.

Martha shook her head, feeling tears build up in her eyes. “It’s too late! There’s not enough time, the wedding march will be going off in like 5 minutes! There’s not enough time!” She cried.

Rachel stepped forward to soothe her, holding her hands tight and looking in her eyes. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine. It will all work out.” She told her.

Martha took a deep breath, trying to think rationally. “Have you tried his mobile?” She asked them.

“Yes, but it’s switched off.” Tasha said.

Martha’s face twisted in confusion. “He never turns it off. Ever.” She said to them, before closing her eyes and hitting her forehead. “I’ve really upset him this time!” She growled to herself. Rachel shook her head, squeezing Martha’s hands.

“Everything will be okay.” She told her, “I promise.”

**********************************

Next chapter - Jack isn't found in time to make it to the church... does Martha marry Eamon? A letter reveals what has happened to Jacky...

[Nicom]

Hey guys, thanks for waiting patiently.

Lots of thanks to Krystal and Jade for help with this chapter. Jade especially has been amazing, and the good stuff in this chapter was written by her. Her bits are easy to spot as they are the ones with the fabulous, long words that I still don't understand.

Love ya Jadey. *winks*

Chapter 59

Martha looked up as the door opened. Hope caught in her throat. But as quickly as her glassy eyes had lit up, they dulled again at the sight of Rachel.

“Still can’t find him?”

Rachel shook her head, her eyes flicking around the room, avoiding Martha’s own.

“No one knows?” asked Martha desperately, her eyes pleading silently.

“No one.” Rachel said quietly, focussing her attention out of the small window, her gaze one that Martha felt could only mean something bad.

Martha watched her carefully. There was something she wasn’t saying.

“Rachel, what is it? What are you thinking?” She asked.

Rachel sighed again, unsure whether to reveal her thoughts.

“Nothing, I’m just worried for you, that’s all. But it’ll be okay.” She told her, standing up and touching Martha’s hand in assurance. “I’m just going to…” Rachel paused, searching for her forgotten words, “wait for Kim’s call. Outside.” She eventually said, looking up to Martha. She held her breath as they stood opposite each other motionlessly. After a few moments of silence, Rachel began to back away, giving a short, stiff nod and leaving the room. As she slid through the heavy door, she looked back to see that Martha had turned around and was now facing the window, searching outside for Jack.

Rachel looked on. From the back of her stunning figure, she looked like any other blissfully happy bride that was about to make their dreams a reality – but Rachel knew different.

She knew that Martha was now waiting for the man she truly loved, hanging onto a last chance to be happy, despite the wedding dress she found herself in. But she was waiting for someone who might not ever come back. Because what if Jack was no longer even out there to find? For all Rachel knew, Henry had decided to strike.

******************************************

There wasn’t enough time.

Martha let out a long sigh, having to face the truth as she stared sadly out the window. Jack wasn’t coming. The wedding was due to start any minute now. Here she was preparing to give herself over to a whole new life. A life that wasn’t hers.

The knock on the door echoed around the room and startled her out of her trance. She heard someone enter, praying that it was him. The one who made her heart skip a beat. Slowly she turned. It was Richard.

Disappointment flooded her features.

“Hey, what are you doing back here?” She asked quietly, deliberately inspecting the room to avoid betraying her true feelings to him. He looked through as if she was glass.

“Something I should have done a long time ago.”

Martha looked at him – an expression of interest but also surprise etched out. She stood there, her eyes now slightly wider, firmly fixed on his.

“The Wedding.” He stated “It’s off.”

“What?! Why?” Martha spluttered, completely taken by surprise. “Don’t talk rubbish – you need this to-”

“No we don’t Martha. We don’t. We thought this was the easy way out – pretend to Eamon’s mother, avoid a family crisis, move on; but it’s only now, at the wedding that we both realised that this was in fact going to do the most damage. To you.”

Martha opened her mouth to reply indignantly, intending to get it into his head that he was being ridiculous. But she was unceremoniously cut off again.

“Don’t lie to us Martha. That’s never what we wanted. Because we were doing this so that Eamon and I could be happy – but there’s no point if you can’t be either.” he paused, looking intently at her, and again started speaking before she could even process the action of moving her mouth. “Don’t pretend that you haven’t been crying, or secretly praying for a way out - I know how scared you really are.” Richard said. “I’ve always known and I’m so sorry for being so selfish.” He sighed.

Martha felt her eyes well up with emotion. She stood still on the spot as she processed what this meant. Was there any point in fighting this when it was exactly what she wanted? Her eyes sweeped down over her dress. They were right - this wasn’t how she had wanted her wedding to be like. Not at all. Not here. Not now.

She wanted it to be made special by the man she loved.

“But, what are you two going to do?” She asked, as she looked up.

Eamon walked in, putting his arm around Richard and looking down on Martha with a smile.

“We’re going to tell my Mum.” He said to her with a grin.

Martha struggled to speak. “But… this has been organised for ages! Everyone’s here… the receptions booked and…”

“Leave them to us, we’ll handle them.” Eamon said. “You just go out and find Jack.” He instructed.

A grin started to sneak onto her face as she realise what this meant, tears of happiness began to glaze her eyes. She looked up at them.

“So guys… you ready to turn the whole day upside down?” She smiled mischievously. Richard and Eamon looked at each other, then to her and nodded, wicked smiles also etched on their faces. Martha looked at them then ran forwards, embracing them both in a tight hug.

“Thank you!” she cried, unable to get over how happy she was feeling from just the release of the wedding.

“Well, Miss Martha Mackenzie, don’t waste any more time, I think you’ve got something to do - we’ll see you later.” Eamon winked and inclined his head towards the door.

Martha let out an excited giggle. Pausing as her hand touched the handle, she turned around, beaming a smile.

“Good luck with your Mum.”.

“Good luck with Jack.”

Martha felt confident though as she left - there was one place in her mind where Jack would go to not be found.

*****************************************

She lifted her dress over her knees, grumbling and muttering as she continued to slip up the hill. She was now discovering why people don’t run around the beach in high heels and a big wedding dress – it’s very impractical. But she still continued, hurrying up to the spot where she was relying on Jack to be. The closer she got, the more her confidence grew. “He has to be here,” She mumbled to herself, reaching the top of the cliff.

Martha stood away from the edge, trying to get her breath back. She let go of the bottom of her dress and put her hands above her head, trying to block out the sunlight. As she did so she could see the end of the cliff and a silhouette of a figure sat on the end, his back arched with his head facing downwards. Martha smiled to herself, sighing in relief as she began to walk closer. Nerves and excitement took hold as her pace started to quicken, and her throat was desperate to shout out in joy. But instead of going on impulse and crying out his name, she decided to be quiet and calm and stroll over to him. This was mainly because she had no idea what to say when she got there.

However as she slowly neared his body the figure became more clear and different from what she’d remembered. In fact, he didn’t look like Jack at all.

At that moment, Lucas turned around, his eyes glistening with tears and his mouth trying to smile. Instead, he simply sighed, standing up slowly and taking a place in front of her.

“Sorry, I thought you were Jack.” Martha apologised with a smile, before looking intently at his face. “Luc, are you crying? What’s the matter?” As she asked this, she felt a huge wave of pain wrack through her body, hitting her stomach with worry as her eyes fell down onto the envelope in Luc’s hand, addressed with only her first name. Without even a word, she took it carefully from him and watched as he stood away, leaving her alone with the letter.

She looked down to it with a shaky hand as she sat down on the rock to read. She spent a moment or two to read her name over and over again, as she tried to fool herself into believing it wasn’t Jack’s hand writing. Unfortunately, she knew only too well that it was.

She ripped it open from the back and unfolded the letter inside. Tearfully and slowly she began to read the writing.

Martha,

It felt wrong not writing you a letter. Honestly, I wasn’t going to, knowing that you may not be too interested in what I want to say, but when I sat down and began to write my goodbyes, I knew I couldn’t leave without saying one to you; the one person who is so important to me.

As I’m sure you’re aware, I may not get out of Witness Protection again, meaning that this may be the last time to say what’s on my mind to you. I guess the first thing I’d like to say is sorry for all the pain I’ve put you through, when Henry caught me and then when I came back. I’m truly sorry for not telling you earlier – who knows, things could have been different. But in true Jack Holden style I messed up. The consequences pretty much suck for me because I blew my last shot to be with you, but for you they don’t seem that bad. By the time Luc gives you this letter I imagine you’ll be married to Eamon, and you’ll be looking forward to your life together. I hope this letter doesn’t spoil your day, and I wish you and Eamon all the best. He really is one lucky guy.

Please don’t feel guilty about last night down at the beach. It’s what I needed to be told; I probably wouldn’t have left otherwise. So, you sort of saved my life in doing so. Thanks.

It’s going to be hard work to wrap up this letter and finish quickly, because I know that this might be the last message I ever get to you. There are so many things that I feel like I need to tell you, but I’m having trouble putting them into words. Our relationship (before Henry) was amazing. Without sounding like a total girl; I’d never experienced anything like it, and I don’t think I will again. You are, as they say in those stupid, lame soppy films you used to make me watch; my soul mate. And I think that’s why I’ll always love you, and always be thinking of you.

(And if you’re laughing now, I gave Luc permission to hit you.)

Enjoy your life Martha, make sure Eamon treats you well and that you get everything you want out of life. You deserve it.

Love, Jack. xx

A tear glazed down her cheek, sliding across her skin and dropping from her chin onto the letter below, gently smudging a word. Martha brushed her tears away with the back of her hand, closing her eyes tight as she tried to stop them from flowing. But it was no use; they still found their way through.

Lucas came forward, and knelt on the floor beside Martha, putting his arm around her and holding her tight to comfort her. He felt her arms weave around his neck and her head rest on his shoulder, sobbing into his fresh shirt. He gripped his letter tight in his hand, glancing down to a patch of the scribble.

If she’s ever lonely, or missing, or upset – go to the cliffs. She’s most likely to be there - it’s her place to think. However stubborn she is, you have to keep pushing to comfort her. You need to look out for her, Luc; because I can’t.

********************************

Jack sighed heavily, lying down on the hotel bed. He’d been there for quite a few hours now, ever since he’d arrived at the station in the early hours of the morning. They’d taken him straight to this hotel to catch up on sleep, have a dose of coffee and check for any followers. It also gave him a brief adjustment period, an attempt to try and slowly ease himself into the radical change. But no amount of coffee’s or room service orders was going to help him confront what lied ahead.

As the thought hit him again, he rolled over onto his stomach with a groan, mentally trying to escape from what he was going through. But he couldn’t move far, and he couldn’t leave, because he knew this was what he had to do. For Lucas and Tony mainly, but also for himself.

He looked at his watch, reading the time of half 11. “She’ll be married by now.” He muttered to himself sadly, trying his best to be happy for her. He knew deep inside that he was and he was glad that he could leave her with someone who loved her rather than leave her alone, but he still couldn’t help the nagging feeling inside him that Eamon wasn’t the one for her. But he laid that on jealousy.

A voice broke him out of his thoughts.

“Come on Jack, or should I say Mark Williams, your future awaits.” One of the cop escorts called with a smirk, picking up their bags and leaving the room.

With a sigh Jack sat up to his new name, getting off the bed and reluctantly following.

Next chapter - How does Martha deal with her loss? Jack's on his way to safety - but will he reach it? Or is Henry taking out his final revenge?

A/N: You may have realised that the chapters are getting longer... and things are starting to move a little quicker. Well, that guys is because this fic is coming to a close! Finally this fic is going to end! I'm thinking it'll end on the 61st chapter... but you know how I like to ramble. I guess we'll see.

[Nicom]

Okay. This is one lonnnnnnng-un. It involves a naughty word. But was cleverly softed with a *.

Apologies for the length, and delay. Thanks to Jadey for proofing.

Chapter 60

Martha banged on the front door, furiously ramming her knuckles onto the glass repeatedly in her frustration. The door swung back in front of her.

“Martha,” Kim sighed in sympathy.

She ignored him, pushing her way through the room and looking around. She quickly scanned the surroundings, looking on each wall and floor space and mentally checking it over. It seemed like everything was there; his odd ornaments, the pair of shoes that he never wore by the front door and his favourite mug was on the side. But as Martha looked around, she noticed an abnormality to the décor. A missing item.

She moved over to the fireplace, touching her fingers softly where it should be.

“The picture…” She said quietly, “of Jack, Tony and Luc…”

By now Luc had caught up with Martha and arrived at the door, standing breathlessly beside Kim. They watched as Martha stood staring at the empty space on the marble, and frowned in sympathy. Kim moved towards Martha’s still body, picking his hands up and putting them on her shoulders.

“Martha-”

She flinched at his touch, brushing past him again as she hurried into the bedroom. Kim and Lucas were close behind.

As she passed through the corridor she let her fingers run along a few of his jackets that were hung up on some hooks and proceeded into his room. She opened the door without a thought and stepped in; just like old times. She took a few paces inside and stood staring down at the double bed, daring herself to touch it again. Slowly, she sat down upon it, rubbing her hands across the soft covers and closing her eyes. She could smell his scent, rich and strong. Just like when she’d woken up in his arms at the hotel…

She opened her eyes again reluctantly, looking around the room through her tear filled vision. His work shirt was hung on the wardrobe, and his trousers were neatly folded below on the floor. But the wardrobe door that was largely ajar revealed a half-empty inside. She looked around the room at the ornaments and again she saw not much had changed. Even the picture of them together was still sat on his bedside table.

Martha sighed, picking it up and brushing her fingertip against his face,

“He’s gone,” she cried softly, her flowing tears numbing her cheeks.

“And he thinks I hate him.” she added in a whispered tone.

With a shudder of emotion her body fell to the side and her free hand slipped underneath the pillow, gripping onto it from the top. She turned her head into the cloth, smelling him again as she muffled her cries.

She’d lost him; again. And once more it was her fault.

***********************************

It had been only five minutes when Martha got up from Jack’s bed and stormed out of the house, Kim and Lucas following quickly behind, being given no information on where she was going or why. They couldn’t get her to stop, slow down, or even think. She was off, and all they could do was try and keep up.

But as they parked beside Martha’s car outside the familiar station, they soon began to piece together why she was here.

Martha was already inside, drumming her fingers upon the front desk impatiently as she waited. Growing tired of having to hang around, she pushed away from the desk and walked to each office and room, swinging each door open in turn and sticking her head through.

“Can I help you?” Peter asked with his hands in his pockets as he strolled into the station. Lucas and Kim walked in after.

Martha spun around to his voice, revealing her swollen eyes and chapped cheeks.

“Yea, you could tell me where Jack is.” She answered shortly.

Peter sighed, shaking his head with sympathy. “I’m sorry Martha; you know I can’t tell you.”

Martha shook her head, “What if I go too? I’m ready now, and I’m in danger too – right? Can’t you just move me to the same place?” She asked.

Peter frowned, “We can organise you to go in the programme as well, but you won’t be put together. It would have been okay if you’d have gone with him this morning, but we can’t risk sending two cars separately to the same location. If Henry were to follow you then you’d lead him straight to Jack.” He said.

Martha felt her bottom lip tremble and her eyes roll toward the ceiling. “Please, please just tell me where he is. Tell me it’s not too late.” She pleaded, tearing her glassy eyes away from the ceiling and pointing them back towards Peter.

Lucas and Kim stood at the door in silence, struggling to stay strong as Martha began to break down in front of them.

Peter stared at Martha for a moment, scanning through his brain to try to find anything comforting to say. With a sigh, he tilted his head. “I can’t tell you what you want to hear, Martha. I’m sorry.” He said, moving forward to comfort her. Martha stood back, shaking her head as she faced the floor.

“Don’t!” She snapped, lifting her trembling hand to her face. Not that she knew what to do with it. It seemed to just hang around near her eyes and mouth, unsure what to do. She could feel the eyes in the room burning on her, with empathy and grief. She couldn’t stand it… she couldn’t stand to break down and feel so weak. Not again. She didn’t want to go through it all again.

Her body walked backwards, sitting down on the chair at Jack’s former desk. Her wedding dress spilled out onto the floor, soaking up the dirt from the countless shoes that had paced and covered the floor in muck during the last few days. But keeping her dress clean was the last thing on her mind. She sat with her head in her hands, shuddering and shivering as her tears strung out and pained her body.

Lucas and Kim frowned, watching her from a distance. The men in the room decided to give her a minute, all taking a seat down in the main station and looking down to the floor, listening to her cries as she tried to pull herself together.

Kim looked down to his vibrating phone and nudged Lucas. He showed him the caller ID and handed it over. It was Tony. Lucas wordlessly told Kim that he’d take the call outside, and walked out the station. Kim looked up at Martha, still in her same arched pose with her hair falling over her head. He just wished that his best friend could have known how much Martha loved him.

************************************

Jack was slumped down in the back seats of the vehicle, staring longingly out of the blacked out windows. He had no idea where he was, or where he was going. All he knew was he’d been travelling for 17 minutes on one of those long, windy roads to nowhere.

The drive had been quiet so far, with only a mutter from the respectable cops in front as they spoke occasionally to pass time by. But Jack wasn’t in the talkative mood. He was too busy mourning the end of his life at Summer Bay.

“Sh*t,” The man in front exclaimed. “Look in the mirror.” He told his partner.

Jack’s head picked up and looked towards them, watching as the driver glanced back into the mirror, and then looked to his partner. He began to accelerate.

Jack shot his hand down to his seatbelt, undoing the clasp and jumping forward.

“We’re being followed?” He guessed.

The man in the passenger side maintained his gaze through the mirror. “Sit back in your seat and duck down.” He told him. “We’ll pull over in a near by farm to make sure. He’s probably just an innocent motorist.” He said lightly.

“And if he follows?” Jack queried.

There was a tense pause.

“Just, sit back in your seat and belt up.”

Jack fought off a shiver of fear and sunk back into his seat. His breaths began to shorten. His mind was spinning with ideas, with scenarios. With memories.

The impact was sudden.

Before Jack could comprehend what was going on, he was travelling through air, the visions in front of him blurring. The wind caught in his throat as he soared over the backseats. The door blocked his escape with a thud, crippling his shoulder and neck.

He could feel the gravel underneath the wheels growl as the tires rubbed against it furiously. The car was winding its way around the road like a snake, trying to escape as quickly as possible. By now, everyone in the car knew what was going on.

Jack lifted his heavy body into his seat. He grabbed onto the fabric as he pulled himself across and toward the blacked out window. He ignored the blinding pain in his shoulder as he strained it with his weight.

Holding his shaky hands against the window, he peered through the tinted glass, and to the blue car behind.

It was grinning at him. Roaring wildly with a hint of delight. It was as if it were possessed, as if it were taunting him with its vehicle features. Jack’s breath got shorter and quicker. He felt totally inferior to the beast.

The policeman had his phone out in the front. “Jack. Belt up, now!” He yelled, grabbing his phone and holding it to his ear.

Jack swallowed as he let go of the window and did as he was told. He fell to his seat, his head back on the headrest as he felt his heart pound in his chest. The cop in the front was shouting down the phone. To the police, Jack assumed. Not that he was listening. He didn’t care about the phone, or the police. He was too busy thinking of the nutter on their tail trying to ram them off the road. He was too busy realising that he could do nothing but be a sitting duck and wait. Wait for the next hit. Wondering if it’d be the last.

The car shuddered with pain as the vehicle behind gave it another blow. This time it was more viscous, and held a much bigger force. This time Jack didn’t even know what was going on.

His body was catapulted upwards. It skimmed the ceiling as he flew, burning his arm with the friction. His head cracked the glass as he slammed onto it. He slid down to the seat, falling helplessly and rolling around like a rag doll. His bones and muscles were of no use now. He was momentarily paralyzed. He could do nothing but wait for the next ‘tap’.

He closed his eyes as he soaked up the vibrations of the car. The cop car had definitely sped up as it tried to escape. The tires were skidding. The car was rocking. Henry was preparing.

Weakly he reached up to the seat belt behind his right shoulder. Wincing at the pain. His eyes were closed hard as he fumbled for the belt and pulled it across his chest. He concentrated all his energy and direction to the seat belt by now. Focussing on this one, solid aim. So much so, that he’d almost forgotten what was happening. He only remembered to prepare himself when it was too late.

The car skidded to the left, losing balance and tumbling over the road, leaving a trail of rubble behind. It rolled on its back, the wheels spinning in the freedom of the air, before it was time for them to land with a bang onto the gravel. The impact of this sudden crash shattered the windows, sending a spray of sparkling glass flying around the car. The mid-day sunlight shone off these fragments, giving the horrific crash a more beautiful glow, and the sudden silence added tranquillity.

But once the shower of glass had settled on the floor, and the burning sun ducked behind a cloud, the sight was again unseemly and horrific.

There was a certain hint of death amongst the dimly lit ground. And a transparent manic laugh could be heard against the rough growling of the engine of the surviving car, as it crawled smugly up to the wreckage.

The lifeless car could only sit and wait, to the mercy of Henry Guild.

*******************************

Tony, Beth and Matilda walked into the station quietly, immediately looking towards Martha who was still sat staring to the ground at Jack’s desk. They stood for a few moments looking over before taking seats beside Kim and Lucas.

They sat in a comforting hush for a few minutes until the phone rang. Peter, who was stood against the reception desk, leant across and picked it up, answering it quietly. But his voice was soon pierced with worry.

“What!?” He exclaimed, responding to the frantic tone of the person on the other end. “You mean Henry!?” He said in astonishment.

All eyes in the room swung up to Peter.

“Is that Jack!?” Tony cried, standing up. “Henry’s followed them?!”

Peter ignored him, turning more to the wall and grabbing a pen from the desk. “Where are you!?” He queried immediately, waiting for a moment or two.

“Hello!?”

The room fell in silence again, all hanging onto every one of Peter’s few words and studying his reaction for clues. Unfortunately, they could all read him too well, and their hearts sunk as Peter slammed the phone down, brushing his hand down his face as he stood groaning.

“The phone-line went dead.” He said, removing his hand from his face and turning around to Jack’s family and friends. “Henry’s on their tail, trying to ram them off the road. I didn’t get a location in time…” He said in disbelief, rubbing his face again as he tried to find an optimistic view from this situation.

Next Chapter - Does Jack survive the crash? Can Peter find the wreckage and Henry before he escapes yet again? Will Henry be brought to justice, or will he get away with another murder?