bikinikill Posted April 25, 2009 Report Posted April 25, 2009 Really had me going there. I have never commented before (sorry), but I really enjoy this. Its really different to everything else, and you are a really talented writer. Which is obvious in the way you had me going in this. haha. Awesome work. Looking forward to the next part.
Taniya_K Posted April 25, 2009 Report Posted April 25, 2009 at the fact that it was a dream! Aw, poor Spike! Loved that chapter once again. The humor in it was just brilliant. I wonder what that Mr Marengo does... An hypnotist, I think? I loved Belle's quips about firing staff and who to send to the war zone and toxic place And getting Zoe jailed for life, along with all the chicks who hit on Aden. She shows jealousy in the uniquest ways Cannot wait for more!!
Luc Posted May 2, 2009 Report Posted May 2, 2009 Thanks bikinikill and Taniya . I don't really like this chapter, but it has it's purpose. -Chapter Thirteen- The Weirdest Story in Coastal Junior History Lethargically, Aden reached up and picked the telephone up off of the base. He brought it down to his ear and yawned. “Hello,” he said groggily. “Spike, hi, it’s Geoff,” Geoff said from the other end of the line. Aden blinked a few times to make sure he was really lying on the sofa in his uncle’s living room. “Geoff?” he whispered. “Can I interest you in the weirdest story in Coastal Junior history?” “What?” “You okay?” “I’m fine,” Aden muttered, sitting up. He picked up the base of the phone and placed it on the sofa next to him. “I was asleep, that’s all.” “At one o’clock in the afternoon?” Geoff asked. “It’s five in the morning in California. I’m a patriot.” Aden joked, and Geoff laughed. “Look, Ruby and I need you to go to the theatre with Belle.” Aden straightened up and his eyes widened. “Belle!” He shot. There was a long pause. “Hey, Geoff, can I ask you a really dumb question?” “Of course,” Geoff replied, “As long as I can snigger about it with my friends afterward.” Aden hesitated as he thought back to his dream. Belle Taylor as the editor of The Australian. He remembered seeing the numbers ‘2005’ written on a plaque. That would make Belle 33-years old, the youngest editor of The Australian newspaper. She would also be the first female editor. “Do you think dreams can predict the future?” “What?” “You know, tell you how things are going to turn out and that sort of stuff.” There was no answer. Aden could tell Geoff was thinking about it. The doorbell rang. “Hang on,” he said into the telephone. “There’s someone at the door.” “No problem.” “Divorce the bi*ch!” “Who was that?” “Just a problem we have.” “Divorce the bi*ch!” “Geoff!” Aden heard Ruby shout. “Sorry!” Geoff replied. Aden laughed as he got up from the sofa and walked out to the hall. He opened the daw and his jaw dropped. Standing outside was a young female. She was wearing a skin tight red tee-shirt and faded jeans. She was skinny, and had blue eyes and wavy black hair. “Guess I got a little tired of waiting for you to come home!” The woman stated in a deep, American accent. Aden gave her a large, false grin. “Zo...” he said. *** As Geoff waited for Aden to come back to the telephone, he looked down at the paper Ruby had given him before. It was an advertisement for ‘Mr. Marengo, the amazing hypnotist.’ *** Belle Taylor removed her hands from her pockets as she waked closer to a large brick building. This was where Mr. Marengo was using as an office. Standing outside was a man holding something up against his ear. Belle assumed it was a portable. “He really is astonishing. The best hypnotist I've ever seen!” He said into his portable. “He gets these people up on the stage and you can’t imagine what he gets them to do! There is one problem though, he’s got a funny sense of humour. He sent a math teacher out after making him forget the number five. Yeah, that’s the sort of thing.” Belle watched the man as he shifted slightly and she grinned. “I've told him that if he wants us to represent him, he’s got to cut that sort of thing out. I think he got the message.” The man began walking down the street and Belle couldn’t help but laugh. He had one of his own shoes pressed up against his ear. “Can you hear me alright? I think there’s something wrong with this phone!” *** Aden looked as Belle as she shook her head. He was standing away from her, next to the building. He took a deep breath. “Belle!” He called out. A look of confusion crossed the American’s face as the Belle from 2005 turned to face him. He blinked in surprise. When he opened him, the younger Belle was looking at him. He walked over to her. “You took your time!” She said cheerfully. A look of anger appeared on Aden’s face. “Behind schedule, am I?” He asked the editor coldly. Belle looked at him in surprise before laughing. “Hey, I was joking!” She informed him, stressing the last word. “Spike, you’re one minute late, I’m not going to hound you for that. What kind of monster do you think I am?” “Yeah, right, sorry!” Aden muttered apologetically. Belle placed her arm around his shoulders and they began walking around the building. “You can easily make up the time tomorrow.” She told him with a grin. Aden rolled his eyes as they continued to walk around to the side of the building. “So did Geoff tell you the plan?” “To trap our mad hypnotist? The was vague.” Aden informed her. “Look, before we get down to that...” They came to a stop outside a door. There was a large white van parked outside it. “Belle, we need to talk.” “Yeah, your right, we’d better,” said Belle, uninterestedly. Aden’s eyes widened in shock. “You want to as well? Without checking your diary first?” “I think we ought.” Belle was sounding slightly more involved in the conversation now. “It never occurred to me that you’d sensed something wrong too.” The American said. He pressed his shoulder up against the concrete wall as Belle adjusted the broach on her jacket lapel. “No offence, but do you mind if I go first?” “Well, no.” “I've got a lot of stuff I really need to say to you. I've been going over it in my head and...” He looked at Belle, she had a blank expression. “Maybe it’d be better if I just started talking, yeah?” “Sure,” Belle said, shrugging her shoulders. Aden looked away from his ex-girlfriend. “I find this kind of embarrassing. Isn’t that crazy?” He took a deep breath. “The problem I've got Belle, it’s sort of like a choice, you know. Zoe, my girlfriend back in the States, well, okay, she’s a bit of a bimbo, and she’s not too bright. She’s nothing next to you in any department, Belle. But she’s... well, she’s easy to be with. Easy on my life.” Aden paused as he took a breath and looked back at Belle. “Look, I know we never quite got it together this time around... and maybe here and now isn’t the right time or place to say it... and believe me, I’ll deny I ever did say it, to your face if necessary... but you are something special Belle Taylor. No way easy, but very, very special.” “Where’s all this going?” Belle snapped at the boy. Aden raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know...” He trailed off, looking at Belle’s expression, “Maybe the same place you are. You wanted to talk too?” “I just wanted to check that the equipment was working.” She replied. Aden watched in amazement as she lowered her head to her broach. “How’s it doing Drew?” Aden couldn’t believe his eyes when Drew kicked the rear doors of the white van open. “Fine,” He said, removing a pair of headphones. “Ever word, clear as a bell.” “Good,” Belle replied. “Hi Spike.” Ruby said. She was sitting in the van next to Angelo and an older man. “Spike.” Drew said, nodding at him. “Hi,” Angelo said, his finger still on his nose. “You don’t know me, but hi anyway.” The older man said. Ruby pointed to the man. “Spike, this is Phillip. It’s his equipment we’re using.” Aden glared at everybody in the van in shock. “You guys were listening?” He asked them one he had recovered the power of speech. “Didn’t Geoff tell you about this?” Belle asked the bewildered and angered American. He looked at her blankly. “Rubes?” Belle said, signalling for her to explain. “This Marengo guy’s been playing some very unfunny tricks on anybody he can get his hands on in every town he’s played.” “Tell me about it.” Angelo shot in. “To think I was offering him my personal management!” Belle turned back to Aden, having ignored Angelo. “So you and I knock on his dressing room door and pretend we’re fans. On past evidence he’s likely to try something on us.” She explained. “You guys were listening!” Aden shouted at everybody again. “Come on, let’s get started.” Belle said, ignoring Aden’s shouting. Aden turned to her. “Didn’t it occur to you that that was a private conversation?” He snapped at Belle. “Don’t be silly. Everybody was listening!” “I know!” He turned to Drew, Ruby, Angelo and the older man. “I said some private and personal stuff there!” “It wasn’t that private and personal.” “It was, really,” Drew told Belle, he pulled a tape out of a machine. “Do you want a playback?” Aden yanked the tape out of the boy’s hand. He turned back to Belle. “Did you actually manage to listen to anything I said while I was pouring my heart out?” Belle pursed her lips before plucking the tape out of his hand. “I’ll get a moment later.” She said calmly. Aden bit his lip as she turned and walked back to the stage door. He turned to Ruby. “I’ll say one thing for her,” he snapped, “She’s got a great way of stopping my from feeling guilty.” “Guilty about what?” Ruby asked curiously. *** Back in the newsroom. Annie was sitting at her desk, a book full of maths equations propped up against her typewriter. Her telephone rang and she picked it up, pressing her line button as she did. She placed the telephone up against her ear. “Hello, Coastal Junior,” she said. “No, she’s not in at the moment, can I take a message?” Annie listened, and the frowned. “I’ll put you on hold,” she told whoever was on the other end of the line. She pressed the hold button and turned to Geoff. “Geoff!” she shouted to attract his attention. Geoff turned to face the young teenager. “Yeah,” he said, placing a pen behind his ear. “It’s the American Embassy in Canberra,” she told him, “They want to speak to Belle about a stolen passport.” A look of horror crossed Geoff’s face as he digested what he had been told.
Taniya_K Posted May 2, 2009 Report Posted May 2, 2009 at that last bit. Belle's trouble...! Haha! Another great chapter! Poor Aden. He was trying to poor his heart out to her, and she doesn't even realise I've got the feeling that him not having to feel guilty anymore could be that he's going back with Zoe to America? I hope not! Love the bit with the dream and Aden asking Geoff about it. And the guy who was talking into his shoe! Cannot wait for more! I wanna know what this hypnotist might do to Belle and/or Aden!
SAM27# Posted May 3, 2009 Report Posted May 3, 2009 “Of course,” Geoff replied, “As long as I can snigger about it with my friends afterward.” I loved that line... Belle is in trouble with the passport!!!! I agree with Taniya, I think Aden is leaving with Zoe Another fantastic update, can't wait for more!!
Luc Posted May 8, 2009 Report Posted May 8, 2009 Thanks Taniya and Sam . I'm hoping to update sometime tonight or tomorrow, but if I don't, here's a preview. Back in the van, Ruby and Drew were watching the tape recorder and microphone eagerly. Angelo was flipping through a catalogue of what appeared to be medication. “What’s he going to do with us?” they heard Aden whisper to Belle. “Nothing he won’t undo when he finds out who we are,” Belle replied. “If he succeeds in doing anything at all, that is,” she added, “It’s you and me because we’re strong personalities, Spike. We only have to catch him in the attempt.” “I thought it was just you who had strong personalities.” Aden whispered. “Thanks, from both of us,” Belle snapped back acidly. Ruby laughed. “This is some good stuff!” Drew exclaimed. Angelo was ignoring the sounds, continuing to flip through a catalogue of prescription drugs. Also, I've been planning the first two of my spin-off fics, and have made banners for them. You can tell by the titles what they're about, but if not, you'll just have to wait and see . ^ Set during Nicole's time as the grapics editor. ^ Set in the commercial era of the newspaper
adellejefferiesxox Posted May 8, 2009 Report Posted May 8, 2009 WOW those banners are amazing I really like your avatar too Thanks for the sneak peek!!
Taniya_K Posted May 8, 2009 Report Posted May 8, 2009 at the preview! Classic! LOVE the banners too! Those spin offs look amazing! I hope I've got the gist of it right Even if I haven't, they look amazing, and probably would be. Can't wait for them, or the next update
Luc Posted May 9, 2009 Report Posted May 9, 2009 Thanks Stephanie and Taniya. This chapter was so much fin to write, that I may just do another one similar to it. -Chapter Fourteen- Not Your Average Romance Back in the van, Ruby and Drew were watching the tape recorder and microphone eagerly. Angelo was flipping through a catalogue of what appeared to be medication. “What’s he going to do with us?” they heard Aden whisper to Belle. “Nothing he won’t undo when he finds out who we are,” Belle replied. “If he succeeds in doing anything at all, that is,” she added, “It’s you and me because we’re strong personalities, Spike. We only have to catch him in the attempt.” “I thought it was just you who had strong personalities.” Aden whispered. “Thanks, from both of us,” Belle snapped back acidly. Ruby laughed. “This is some good stuff!” Drew exclaimed. Angelo was ignoring the sounds, continuing to flip through a catalogue of prescription drugs. *** Back in the newsroom, Annie and Geoff were holding an urgent conference. They were trying to work out how to deal with the American Embassy. They had every right to arrest Belle. “Exactly what did they say?” Geoff asked the young girl once again. Annie rolled her eyes. “Just what I told you,” she replied. Geoff pursed his lips as he thought. “Stealing a passport is serious.” He said to himself. “If Spike’s told anyone...” “Spike wouldn’t get Belle in real trouble.” Annie stated. “Would he?” She asked her boss. “Maybe he didn’t know.” Geoff suggested. There was a moment of silence as both thought. Suddenly, Geoff grinned. “Keep them on hold. I've got a couple of calls to make.” *** “Look, I still need to talk to you,” Aden whispered to Belle. Drew rolled his eyes. “You’re fighting a losing battle, mate,” He muttered to himself. “I've still got the tape,” Belle reminded him. “About my passport!” Snapped the American. The door opened and a man coughed. “Do come in,” Mr. Marengo said. He was sounding slightly excited. Ruby and Drew exchanged a look of confusion. Only moments earlier the man had slammed the door in Aden and Belle’s faces. “Thankyou,” Belle replied, trying to sound as sweet as she could. “How about I give you a little demonstration?” The man asked. A door slammed. Drew and Ruby exchanged another look. “We’ve got him!” Ruby announced gleefully. *** In the newsroom, Geoff and Annie were sitting near the phone. The American Embassy was still on hold. Geoff picked the phone up off the hook and pressed the hold button. “Hello, can I help you?” He asked professionally. “I’m looking for Belle Taylor,” a woman with an American accent replied. “She’s not in right now,” Geoff informed the woman. “Well we need to speak to her very urgently. We’ve received information that she may have stolen a government document. A passport, to be exact.” There was a short pause. “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how very serious this is.” “No you don’t,” Geoff replied, rolling his eyes. “The passport must be returned immediately.” “And you must be Zoe.” “How did you know?” “I think the American Embassy getting involved in this is a long shot. Anyway, I just phoned them and they don’t have a phone call through to us. So who’s female, American and wants Spike to get his passport back?” Geoff asked Zoe. There was a long pause. “And you must be Geoff,” she finally managed to say. *** “Now grip hard.” Mr. Marengo said. Drew, Ruby and Geoff were all listening carefully to every word being said. “As hard as you can. As if you’re never going to let go. That’s right!” Drew and Ruby looked at each other, confused. They had no idea what was going on. *** “So, um, you’re back in Australia?” Geoff asked Zoe. “I’ll be back in the States by tomorrow.” Zoe replied, “With Spike.” She added. Geoff scoffed. “We’re on the 6am flight. Tell that to Belle Taylor!” She snapped. “Short visit.” “Long enough!” “If you can find Spike’s passport.” “We’ll find it.” There was a long pause before Geoff opened his mouth to speak again. “Look, has it occurred to you that if Spike really wanted to go back to the States, he’d have gotten a new passport by now?” Annie couldn’t help but laugh. That was telling her. “I don’t see what it’s got to do with you!” Zoe shouted. Annie was able to hear it from where she was sitting, nearly a metre away from the blond deputy editor. “Just that I've been around those two long enough to know the crossfire’s not a good place to be. And I think that’s right where you are at the moment. Friendly advice.” Geoff explained monotonously. There was another short pause before the telephone at the other end of the line was slammed down hard. Geoff grinned. *** “That’s amazing! Really amazing!” Belle exclaimed. Ruby, Drew and Angelo all exchanged a look of total confusion. They still had no idea what had happened. “So, uh, how do I get out of this?” Aden’s voice asked. “I have to go out for a while.” Mr. Marengo’s voice announced. Ruby’s eyes widened in shock. “But you’ve got to get me out of this!” Aden stated. “Do I?” Marengo asked, trying his hardest to sound mysterious. “Would it change your mind at all if I tell you this entire conversation has been taped and that we at the Coastal Junior are interested in interviewing you about some of your recent activities?” Belle asked, her voice sounding powerful. “No.” Ruby and Drew looked at each other, working out what to do. A loud bang rang out. It was the stage door. Without thinking, Drew pulled a set of headphones off of his head and threw it down next to the microphone. He turned around and pushed the door open. He and Ruby jumped out as Mr. Marengo pushed past them. He was plump and short, but he could run fast. Belle and Aden ran out of the building, hand in hand. “Hey!” Aden shouted as the man pulled his car keys out and forced one into the keyhole. He turned it just as Drew caught up to him. Swiftly he climbed into the car and slammed the door shut. Aden began running after him as he started he ignition. He was pulling Belle along behind him. “Spike, there’s no point!” She snapped at him. Aden wasn’t paying attention. “Drew, stop him!” He shouted out to the dark-haired Australian. Drew reached for the door handle, but Mr. Marengo pressed the lock down and started reversing out of the car-park. “He’s getting away!” Aden cried frantically as he continued chasing the car. Belle pulled him back. “It doesn’t matter!” She said to him. Aden ran his free hand through his blond hair. His chest moving up and down at a rapid pace. “You can’t do this to me!” He held up the hand that was gripping Belle’s. *** Zoe was sitting in an arm chair at Aden’s uncle’s house. Her arms were folded tightly against her chest. Her chest moving up and down speedily. She was still fuming from her phone call to the Coastal Junior newsroom. The telephone rang and she looked over at it murderously. Aden had promised he’d be back by five to head to the airport. Hesitantly she unfolded her arms and reached out for the receiver. “Spike, this better not be you with some lame-brained excuse.” She muttered before picking it up. *** Aden had Belle’s portable pressed up against his ear as Ruby tried her best to pull their hands apart. She was failing miserably. “This is just like Angelo and his nose,” Ruby muttered as she continued pulling. “You really can’t budge those fingers?” Aden rolled his eyes. “Yes!” A sharp voice snapped at him from the other end of the portable. It was Zoe. “Zoe, this is going to be quite hard to explain...” He began as he looked at his hand, which was still gripping Belle’s. “Then don’t!” The American woman shouted at him. “Spike, if you’re not back here in twenty minutes, we’re finished! Understand? Finished!” She slammed the telephone down forcefully. Aden pulled the portable phone away from his ear and looked at it in disbelief. “I don’t believe this!” He shouted, pressing the ‘call over’ button. “So Zoe’s back,” said Belle. She gave Aden a look of intent. “You might have told me,” she finished angrily. “You might have let me!” Aden retorted. Ruby dropped the pair’s hands. “Sorry,” she said to them, “It look’s like your stuck.” Belle shrugged and began walking towards the van. “It’ll wear off,” she told them, “Let’s get back to the newsroom.” Aden pulled Belle to a stop. “I've got to get back to Zoe!” He began pulling Belle in the opposite direction. Belle pulled back with all her strength and Aden came to a stop. “I've got no particular wish to meet Zoe, thankyou,” she snapped. She turned to walk towards the van again. Aden pulled on her hand again. “Look, if I don’t get back there and explain this,” he held up their hands to show what he was talking about, “I’m a dead man.” “Look on the bright side,” Belle began, grinning maliciously, “When Zoe sees you hand in hand with me your a dead man anyway.” Belle grabbed on of Ruby’s hands. “Ruby, pull!” She commanded. Ruby gripped Belle tightly and began pulling the girl in the direction of the van. “Drew, give me a hand!” Aden shouted. Drew did as he was told, and soon there was a large tug of war going on. “Angelo, you better get on my end!” Belle screamed to her financial manager. He was watching on, his finger still pressed up against his nose. He jumped back in the van after a moment. “I’ll just check the tape.” “Damn it will you just let go!” Aden screamed at his ex-girlfriend. “I can’t and neither can you!” Belle shouted back. Aden yanked at Belle harder and her hand slipped out of Ruby’s. “Then you’re coming with me!” He finished. Belle took a moment to compose herself before she looked at Aden coldly. “Spike, this is ridiculous.” She snapped. “I don’t want to meet Zoe. It’s going to be very embarrassing for me!” She turned back to Ruby. “Rubes, get after Marengo and try and get something together for Tomorrow’s edition. Maybe three columns!” Ruby laughed as Aden pulled the girl around the corner out of sight. Drew watched as they left and then turned to Ruby. “It’s just not your average romance, is it?” The girl smiled before turning to walk into the van. “Angelo!” She called out, sticking her head in. Angelo hastily put a finger against his nose. It was the wrong one. “Yes,” Angelo said, trying to sound as calm as possible. “Wrong hand, Angelo.” Guiltily, Angelo pulled the finger off of his nose and replaced it with the right one. He smiled weakly at the brunette as she rolled her eyes.
Taniya_K Posted May 9, 2009 Report Posted May 9, 2009 ! No wonder you had so much fun writing that chapter! I had so much fun reading it!!! Poor Spike! I mean, no way do I want him to jet off with Zoe, but still, poor Spike! And Belle not really giving him a chance to talk. But Mr Marengo's hypnotism on them to hold hands is just hilarious! Zoe's not going to like that at all. LOVED Geoff in this again! Haha that he sussed her out. And loved Angelo! That ending was just too good! Oh, and the image of the 5 of them pulling on either Belle or Aden is just too funny! Cannot wait for more!
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