Georgia Posted October 9, 2009 Report Posted October 9, 2009 Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML Today, while working on my girlfriend of three years' computer I found a file called 'My future wedding'. I assumed it was very old and decided to look through it. Of the list of 5 potential grooms I was not one of them. This didn't bother me until I saw that it had last been edited two days ago. FML Today, I returned to the USA after being in Italy for a month. My boyfriend of 6 years picked me up; we had plans to go ring shopping this week. I ran to him, and told him how much I loved and had missed him. He handed me a chocolate chip cookie from Starbucks and dumped me. FML
ciararonnie Posted October 20, 2009 Report Posted October 20, 2009 Today, my manager mentioned that she'd hired a "cute boy" to help me out at work with paperwork. The "cute boy" was my ex-fiance and now I have to be with him in an office for 30 some hours a week while his current fiancée brings him lunch everyday. FML
MissOlivia22 Posted October 20, 2009 Report Posted October 20, 2009 Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
Georgia Posted October 21, 2009 Report Posted October 21, 2009 Today, I carefully approached my boyfriend from behind and put my hands on his eyes saying: “Who’s there?” he answered: “Mary? Camilla? Kate? ». Annoyed, I said « You lose; it’s your beloved one… ». After a while, he said « Oh! Amanda! ». My name is Chloe. FML Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on msn when her roommate answered «Sorry, this is not Marie, she is at her boyfriend’s ». I've looked everywhere in my flat, I can’t find her. FML
TachelHolden Posted October 21, 2009 Report Posted October 21, 2009 Today, whilst holding a hand rail on a packed bus, I was rubbing my hand along, and playing with, what I thought was a join in the metal. It was an old woman's finger. FML
TachelHolden Posted October 21, 2009 Report Posted October 21, 2009 Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Georgia Posted October 22, 2009 Report Posted October 22, 2009 Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a "present". He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML Today, I found out who the father of my sister's 4 year old son is. My husband of 7 years. FML Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML Today, I was watching a movie with my sister, my roommate, and my girlfriend. Half way through the movie, my girlfriend left the room and texted me that she was breaking up with me. She then came back in the room, sat on my bed, and enjoyed the rest of the movie with us. FML
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