The Darkness

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 70

El stood alone at the graveside. She was dressed in head to toe black. Her hair was tried back with a piece of black ribbon. Some tendrils escaped and drifted around her pale face. She remained tearless throughout the words the minister said, the prayers and finally they had lowered the coffin into the deep black hole. It looked like the ground had swallowed it. She took a step forward and threw the single rose onto the dark wood. She gasped as she heard it hit. Now the diggers were waiting to fill in the hole with earth but she couldn’t leave yet. She was bare headed and on cue a light drizzle began. She bowed her head and whispered some words. Nic walked over to her and put her arm around her.

“We need to go.” She said to her.

El nodded and Nic led her to the waiting car. She saw them all then, her father, Jacko, Mike, Aden and Geoff. Standing together waiting to support her. Waiting to love her. She took a step towards them and the tears she had held at bay for so long fell in tiny rivulets down her face.

Mike came and took hold of her hand and led her to the car. He had to help her do the seatbelt up her hands were numb with cold. She looked at him but was unable to talk just yet. He smiled at her. They started the car and began to drive her home.

“No. I don’t want to go there. Please take me…” she said her voice breaking.

Her eyes met with Aden’s in the rear view mirror and he nodded, turning the car around. They completed the journey in silence and she climbed out of the car slowly. Her booted feet secure on the pavement below even though she felt like she was shaking. She looked up and saw the sun come out for the first time that day. She pushed open the door and stepped inside. Walking quietly she went down the hallway until she was outside the room she needed to go in. She put her hand on the door handle and turned it slowly. She was still trembling from cold and pent up emotion and she felt her heart pounding. She pushed the door open and stepped inside.

“Is it done?” a voice asked her.

She nodded.

She raised her face to look on him.

He extended his hand toward her and she went over to him and sank into a chair by his bed.

“I don’t know how you were able to hold it together to arrange the funeral.” He said to her still speaking softly despite his anger.

She nodded.

“I had to.” She said. “I know you didn’t agree with it but Gardy had no one and now hopefully he is at peace.”

“He nearly took us away from each other.” Roman said. “He hurt you.”

She smiled at him.

“No, not even death can do that.” She looked into his eyes. “And there are always things we don’t know about the other person.” She said remembering the scene of the little boy.

She removed her boots and put them to one side before climbing up on the bed next to him.

“You’re freezing.” He said.

He pulled the covers over her, feeling her shake.

“I’m ok. Its just reaction I think. He can’t hurt me anymore and I’m free of him. Now I just want to go home and be with you and our chidden.”

She curled up in his arms and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Within minutes she had fallen asleep.

Roman grinned. There was one particular nurse who frowned on patients fraternising and had made it abundantly clear that she wouldn’t put up with it, but technically since El was no longer a patient he could get away with it. He rearranged the pillows behind his head and eased himself down next to her. He fell asleep soon after.

They woke when it was turning dark outside.

“I need to go see to the children.” She said.

He chuckled.

“Well to do that you may have to move out of bed.” He smiled at her.

“I am going to be so upset when they stop needing an afternoon nap.” She confessed.

He grinned at her.

“We need to do something about the house.” She said snuggling against him.

“You keep up with that you’ll have more pressing things to deal with.”

She giggled turning in his arms.

“You are supposed to be an invalid.” She ginned

He looked into her beautiful happy eyes.

“Don’t tell me tell The…” the rest of what he said was muffled by her hand over his mouth.

“I told you. I named it that in a compromising moment. You can’t keep repeating it otherwise I’ll start reminding you what you say.” She pointed out a blush staining her cheeks.

“I think what I say is perfectly acceptable.” He muttered.

She grinned and watched as he blushed too.

“Fine, you have a deal. I won’t tell anyone what you named my penis.” He said just as Rachel came in through the door.

“Now that is a conversation I wish I’d heard the beginning of.” She said to them.

“Oh God!” El exclaimed and squirmed in embarrassment pulling the blanket over her head.

“Now Roman. I need to examine you and if you are lucky I may send you home today.” Rachel said loudly. “Of course you are in that bed alone because if anyone else was in there it would be against hospital policy.” She added in a quieter tone.

El pulled the blanket down.

“Is it that nurse again?” she muttered. “Now she could beat my drill sergeant!” she climbed out of bed and pulled on her boots.

Roman rearranged the covers and put his hand down underneath the blankets after a moment he pulled out a length of black ribbon and handed it to El. She grinned and smoothed her hair.

“Dr. Holden.” The nurse greeted her as soon came in.

She looked over at El who automatically blushed and giggled.

Roman grinned. She was right, she was free. He hadn’t seen her this happy for a long time. She looked at him for a moment and her eyes lit up even more. He mouthed the words I love you and she smiled so sweetly that his heart flipped over. He swore it had nothing to do with the extremely cold stethoscope Rachel had just put on his chest.

“Yes.” Rachel said.

“I can go home?” he clarified.

She nodded.

He made to move out of the bed.

“Hang on Soldier.” El said to him. “Perhaps you’d like me to get you some clothes to wear and shoes and I don’t know someone to get us home.” She grinned.

He settled back in the bed.

“Go on then.” He muttered.

She turned to Rachel.

“Are you sure you want to release him just yet? I was just getting used to having the house to myself.”

Rachel laughed.

“I’m going to do the paperwork but you are definitely out of here.” She said.

El pressed a kiss to his lips.

“I’ll go do some arranging.” she said to him.

She and Rachel walked out of the room together. Once they were safely out of earshot of Roman she turned and said.

“Out of curiosity what did you name it?”

El blushed and leaned over. She whispered into Rachel’s ear and the other woman laughed.

“That is some name. Does it live up to it?” she asked.

El nodded.

“I can’t think why I called it that.” She said softly.

Rachel chuckled.

“Maybe I’d believe you if your whole body wasn’t blushing.” She said to her.

El laughed.

She left the other woman and went outside to make some calls. Returning minutes later back to the room.

He smiled as soon as he saw her.

She handed him the coffee she had fetched from the machine down the hall on the way back and took hers over to the chair.

“It might be a good time to do the remodelling on the house.” He suggested.

She nodded.

“I was thinking something similar.” She admitted.

He smiled at her.

“It’s still off limits at the moment but Charlie let us go in and collect some clothes and things for the babies.” She told him softly. “And collect Cookie and monsters.” She added referring to the cat and kittens. “Which you’ll be pleased to know are at the vets for their little operations.”

He flinched.

“Not mine too?” he asked.

She raised an eyebrow at him.

“I thought you didn’t like cats.” She said.

He grinned at her.

“Fudge is my cat.” He said almost proudly.

The ginger kitten had known from the moment he was born who he had to charm in the house in order to get to be allowed to stay. He had curled up in Roman’s shoes and fallen asleep, done really cute kittenish stuff in an effort to get Roman to notice him. Growled at a spider when it came near his brother and two sisters. Learned what shifts Roman worked so that he was always waiting for him when he came home.

“Well he will still be your cat.” She said.

“But less so.” Roman mourned.

“I don’t know why you are having a hard time with this concept. Do you want more kittens?” she asked feeling a strange sense of Déjà vu to the conversation.

He shook his head.

“No. Maybe it’s because you are a woman you wouldn’t understand.” He said illogically.

She grinned and moved over to the bed. She put her hand under the covers and fondled him in certain area.

He sighed.

“Are you worried I may insist on the same thing?” she asked.

He lay back without answering.

“I’m glad that coffee warmed your hands.” He said finally.

“It did?” she asked. “Damn.”

He laughed and then sighed with disappointment when she removed her hand.

She chuckled at his expression and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. She looked up to see Nic and Mike walk in the room. Nic put her hand over Mike’s eyes.

“Sorry they are at it again.” She said to him.

Mike laughed.

“Nic, I live with them I’m used to it.” he told her.

They both laughed and came further into the room.

“Geoff has clothes and things.” She said. “He’ll be here in a minute.”

Mike walked over to the window and looked out for a minute seeing the expanse of gardens and then further afield, outward to the car park and beyond. He turned to his Mum and Roman.

“I want to go in the Army cadets.” He said to them.

“Ok.” El told him.

“Ok?” Nic and Roman said at the same time.

She nodded.

“I’m not afraid anymore.” She said to them. “It’s Mike’s choice what he wants for his life.”

Roman looked at her and grinned.

“In that case I want to re-up.” He said.

“Yeah, don’t push it!” she said folding her arms.

Mike laughed.

She helped Roman into the adjoining bathroom so he could get dressed and waited outside.

He came out and lent on the bed catching his breath.

“Do me a favour? When I say I want to go for a run tomorrow someone stop me.”

He said to them.

El laughed at him.

“You think a gunshot s bad? Try childbirth.” She said.

He looked at her.

“You are comparing a gunshot to childbirth?” he said. ”Seriously? I nearly died twice.”

She folded her arms across her stomach.

Nic looked up.

“So did she, and she was stabbed and in a coma. She came out of hers in a couple of hours. You were just lazy. You didn’t wake up for days.” Nic told her father.

“I was just trying to get away from all that nagging you women do.” He said.

El and Nic looked at each other.

“Ok ” El said.

“Ok?” Roman asked warily.

She nodded.

“We agree with you.” She said. “You cowardly stayed in a coma for an extra few days because you couldn’t face two little defenceless women.”

“Sit down Daddy. You must be so tired.” Nic said.

Roman laughed.

“You are going to be in so much trouble.” He grouched.

El laughed.

“Come on everybody lets get him home.” She said.

Geoff came round and helped Roman out the door. El stopped at the nurse’s station on the way out to collect the paperwork and his medication and she gave them her thanks.

She met them in the car and she could see how much the effort of just walking to Geoff’s car had cost him by the greyish tint of exhaustion to his skin. She climbed in the back next to him and reached out she held his hand.

He smiled at her tiredly.

She grinned and leaned over to whisper in his ear.

He laughed.

“I bet I could.” He told her.

She chuckled.

“Geoff drive faster.” He said to him.

El threw back her head and laughed.

They helped him out of the car and into the house. They were staying at the old house until theirs was fit for them to return to. The twins came down the stairs upon hearing Mummy and Daddy’s voices and El fetched Megan. Aden and Belle had been watching al the children and were waiting to welcome Roman home too.

After an hour she told everyone to leave.

With help from Mike she managed to get the overexcited twins and Megan ready for bed and down to sleep.

“Do you want any help?” Mike asked her, referring to Roman.

She shook her head.

He went forward and gave her a hug before disappearing to bed.

“Night.” She said to him.

She went downstairs and woke Roman, he had drifted to sleep.

“Hey.” She said.

“Hey yourself.” He grinned.

“Would you like to go to bed?” she asked him.

He grinned.

“I thought you’d never ask.” He grinned.

He held out his hand and she went to help him up but he tugged on her hand and she fell on him.

“Hey.” She exclaimed. “I’m pretty sure that you aren’t fit enough for this.”

He grinned.

“Because I fell asleep while everyone was here?” he smiled.

“You.” She muttered.

He kissed her

She pulled away.

“No.” she said clearly. “You aren’t fit enough.”

He pushed her hair back away from her face and looked into her eyes.

“I need you.” He said. “I don’t care if I end up back in hospital tomorrow I need to feel you tonight and hold you.” He murmured. “I need to make love to you and celebrate life.”

She looked at him unable to resist the expression on his face.

“No. You aren’t strong enough. Please let us wait for a while.” She said softly.

He grinned at her.

She rolled off him and helped him to stand up and then up the stairs. He sat on the bed and pealed off his clothes. He climbed into the bed naked and arranged his pillows just the way he liked them. She clicked off the main light and undressed, pulling on a nightdress. She walked around the bed and climbed into the bed on her side. She settled the covers over her and clicked off her bedside light. He turned towards her and reached out for her.

“Roman no.” she said.

He leaned into her and kissed the back of her neck. She felt his breath caress her skin and melted against him. He slid the strap of her nightdress down and kissed along her shoulder. She sighed and rolled on to her back. He pealed the nightdress down and looked at her in the twilight of the full moon coming in through the window.

“You are beautiful” he said softly. He lowered his head and his mouth to one breast. He kissed the rosy nipple and then the counterpart. She moaned softly.

He grinned at her.

“Take off your nightdress.” He said.

She sat up and pulled the nightdress over her head and threw it to the floor. She heard the whisper from the material as it floated down. He stroked her back and she leant back against his hand. He supported her weight for a moment before letting her sink to the bed.

He moved over the top of her and accepted his weight. His kisses and caresses. She let her hand loose on him touching him in all the places she knew he liked. He nudged her legs apart and with and unsteady hand stroked her thigh. She bent her leg and he sank between her full thighs. He moved his hands up her body fell her arch against him for his touch. His hands clasped hers and he pinned them to the bed, winding his fingers in hers.

“Tell me you love me.” He said.

“I love you, my husband.” She said.

He eased into her slowly, feeling her writhe against him. They found their rhythm moving against one another slowly, carefully. Her moans and sighs matched his.

“I love you.” He said in her ear. “I need you.” He murmured looking into her eyes.

She groaned against his lips.

“I love you.” She replied.

He smiled at her.

She tugged a hand free and stroked his face. He caught her hand and sucked her fingers into his move one at a time, before kissing the palm of her hand. She wound her arms around his neck moving her hips letting him sink deeper into her. She groaned against his lips. He ran his hand up her thigh to her hip.

“I wish we could make a baby tonight.” He said to her.

She moaned feeling pleasure building within her.

He teased her with his tongue, with his lips, with his mouth.

“Yes.” He said softly. “Now.”

She fell apart under him feeling the hot rush of pleasure. He groaned, arching against her.

“Now that would be worth being back in hospital for.” He said softly in her ear.

She blushed.

“I hope you would come up with a different reason.” She muttered.

He chuckled.

“No I will tell them my beautiful wife couldn’t keep her hands off me.” He said.

He eased away from her slowly and pulled her to him kissing her again. He wrapped his arms around her and fell asleep.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 71

She carried Megan out of the car and went to check on Roman and the builder. They had found someone who was able to start work on the house. After having the plans drawn up, which included not only the kitchen and new French doors in the dining room but also opening up the fireplace in the lounge, adding an en suite bathroom to their bedroom and built in wardrobes.

”Hey.” She called.

Roman came out of the kitchen and pressed a kiss on her lips.

“How are my girls?” he asked.

“We are fine, although someone woke up grumpy at being separated from her brother and sister.” She told him.

He chuckled.

They had made the choice to put the children in separate rooms and were planning to move Sophie and Georgie to their own room and big beds when they moved back.

“Well we’ve had a thought about that.” Roman told her.

She looked at him.

“Am I going to like this?” she asked.

He reached over and picked Megan out of her arms and led her in the house, holding her hand. He took her up the stairs and into the room next to the nursery.

“Ok.” she said.

He pointed to the connecting wall.

“We could put an archway in that wall and move the twins in here.” He told her. “That way they would still be together. We could use the space we free up in the nursery to put extra toys so it becomes a playroom too.” He told her.

“Ok.” she said again.

He looked at her.

“Just like that?”

She nodded.

“It’s your house. The twins will like the play area and not being totally separated from everyone.”

He grinned at her.

“Well in that case we’ve had a look in the attic too and there is room in there to put a guest bedroom.”

“Er, ok.” she said.

“You don’t sound so sure of that one.”

She looked at him.

“I just want to move back home sooner rather than later.” She confessed.

“You are missing the kittens aren’t you?” he guessed.

She nodded.

“And well my husband keeps coming home covered in dust and is too tired to make love.” She told him grinning.

He laughed.

She suddenly clamped a hand over her mouth.

“El?” he asked.

She raced into their bedroom and looked in her bedside drawer.

He followed and looked at her in puzzlement. Turning around he placed Megan in her cot in the nursery and then came and sat next to El.

“Ok what have we done?” he asked.

She handed him her packet of birth control pills.

“Uh huh.” He said grinning.

“Uh huh?” she questioned.

He shrugged.

“Well if you don’t care then we might as well go for it tonight.” She said.

“Do you want another baby?” he asked

She looked at him for a long moment.

“Rachel said not to.” She said softly.

He folded his arms across his chest and chuckled.

“Doesn’t answer the question.” He told her.

She shrugged.

“I had thought that with the twins now 18 months and Megan at a year I wanted to get back to doing some photography.” She said.

“Well let’s get the question answered. Do you want another baby?” he asked.

She looked at him.

“No.” she said. “I don’t want to risk something happening.”

“Well then I think I should get an appointment and discuss doing something about it.”

“You mean the V word?” she asked.

He paled slightly even as he nodded.

She grinned at him.

He put his arm around her shoulders.

“Don’t think I don’t know what these are doing to you.” He said softly.

“They aren’t so bad.” She lied.

He looked at her.

“Really?” he asked.

She tried to pretend nonchalance but couldn’t even muster a shrug. The pill caused terrible side effects for her and she had been on numerous brands over the years. Much as she hated the thought of a permanent method of birth control for either one of them coming of the pill seemed like heaven.

“I hate them.” she said finally.

He sighed.

“And you took them for a year without complaining.” He said.

She grinned.

“Plenty of moaning though.” She told him.

He blushed.

“Of course it may be too late. Perhaps we should get a test?” he suggested.

She looked at him.

“You want another baby?” she asked him.

He shrugged.

“I don’t know.” He said honestly. “It seems like a miracle we have these three.”

She leaned over and kissed him.

“Don’t know?” she questioned huskily.

“Sort of sure?” he tried.

“Uh huh.” She said to him smiling. “I think we should take some time to think about it and sit down tonight to have a talk.”

He grinned.

She pushed him until he was on his back on the bed. His feet still placed on the floor.

“I said TALK and that is what I meant Mister.” She said to him.

He slid his hand down her back.

“Are you planning on playing that game with me?” she said after a long moment.

She looked over and he was still grinning.

She moved quickly until she was sitting astride him. He reached out to put his hands on her waist but she caught hold of his hands and pressed his arms down to the bed.

His smile got broader.

“Can we do this tonight too?” he asked.

She leaned forward and kissed him slowly, her tongue tracing the outline of his mouth before easing in between his parted lips and teasing his tongue. She pressed down on his chest so that he could feel her breasts rubbing against him. Ripe softness against his hard muscular chest, the contrast sending signals all over his body. Moving her hips slightly she teased him with the sultry movement. She was wearing a summer dress in pale lavender and one of the straps fell down the curve of her shoulder. He could see the pink bra strap underneath and knew exactly which set of underwear she had on. He closed his eyes as his body reacted.

“El.” He moaned.

She laughed at him before kissing him gently on the lips and climbing off.

She stood next to the bed tucking the pills into her handbag, which she’d tossed on the floor at some point.

“Megan and I have to go.” She told him. “Will you be home earlier tonight?” she asked.

He nodded.

“Oh, I think you can count on me being home early.” He said.

She smiled and leaned over to kiss him.

“El.” He said.

She looked at him.

“I think the kids will need an early night tonight they are looking a bit tired.” He told her with a grin.

“Uh huh, so do you from the looks of things.” She said.

He laughed.

“You so know I intend to make you pay for this don’t you?” he asked.

She looked into his eyes and smiled, a cat got the cream smile.

“Oh yes.” She said huskily.

He sat up slowly and then stood.

She moved into his arms and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She pulled away after a moment and went and collected Megan from the nursery. She looked at El with her big blue eyes and reached out for her Daddy.

El laughed.

He walked over and kissed Megan and then El again.

“I’ll be home at 6.” He told her.

She grinned.

“Don’t even think about expecting the trinity to be in bed that early.” She laughed.

He walked with her down the stairs and led her out to her car.

She couldn’t help looking at the spot when she’d seen him fall and he smiled at her. After she put Megan in the car he pulled her back into his arms.

“We’re ok!” he said.

She nodded.

She pressed another kiss to his lips and climbed behind the wheel and set off.

He grinned and went back inside.

She drove into Yabbie Creek and started wandering around the shops picking up a few things before heading to the crèche to pick up the twins. She smiled at them when they came running to her and bent down to give them hugs. She helped them up into the car and strapped them into their seats.

She headed home and played with all of them before they had their tea and she bathed them and put them in their pyjamas. She brought them back downstairs and put on the tv and got out toys for them to play with while she began dinner. She went and sat with them. He came in shortly afterwards and grinned when he saw her and his children.

“Hello.” She said,

He leaned over and kissed her.

“Daddy!” Georgie said holding up his arms.

He bent down and kissed his son.

“Daddy cuddle you soon Georgie he needs a shower.” She said and lifted her son up.

He smiled and walked up the stairs to the bathroom and stripped off his clothes to dive under the hot spray. He washed quickly and roughly towel dried himself before he dragged on clean clothes. He was back down stairs inside ten minutes.

Sophie looked up when he joined them and began playing with his Meggy.

She left him to it and went to finish dinner. She got each of the kids a drink and grabbed a beer for him. She sat next to him and he put his arm round her.

“Thank you.” He said.

She smiled.

“Dinner won’t be long.” She said to him.

“This is good.” He said to her. “Perfect.”

She grinned at him.

“Me staying at home with the kids and cooking your dinner then handing you a beer?” she asked.

“Yes it is. But before you try and kill me I am happy to do the same for when you go out!”

She grinned.

“I’ve been in touch with Yannis and organised some assignments.” She told him. “Might be some travel and I know one will be an overnight trip.”

“Ok. We’ll get one of those organisers and work out where everyone needs to be.” He said. “I can be flexible with my shifts at the diner so can do childcare.”

She nodded.

“My publisher wants me to do a book too. A collection of my favourite photos and revisiting some of the placed to take new shots.”

“As long as one of them isn’t Afghanistan I’m happy.” He grinned.

She chuckled.

“So it’s ok for you to go and not me?” she asked.

He smiled slowly.

“Yes.” He said.

She pushed him.

“Uh huh.”

“Sorry, go rock climb, go on your motorbike, we’ll go surfing but I don’t want you in a place that dangerous.” He said. “Nothing to do with my inborn natural male chauvinism.”

She chuckled at him.

“Ok babes time for bed.” She said and clicked off the tv. She picked up some of the toys and the twins copied her and helped her put them away. She caught him grinning at her.

“So that’s how Mike is organised.” He said.

She nodded.

“I know I drop my stuff about and you think I’m a nightmare but it was different for me as a kid.” She told him. “This is fun for them and it becomes a learned behaviour. They are aware I don’t care what mess they get up to during the day.”

He looked sad for a long moment before she leaned over and kissed him.

The twins started heading for the climb up the stairs and she picked up Megan and carried her up with them. He finished the beer and went into the kitchen with the empty bottle before going upstairs to help put the children to bed.

She waited for him to come out of Megan’s room catching hold of his hand. He grinned when she pulled him inside their room and pushed the door shut.

“Are we planning something?” he asked.

She smiled and pushed him towards the bed. He felt his legs touch the side of it and he over balanced and fell backwards. She reached for the fastening of his trousers and opened them. He grinned as she straddled him and pulled off her dress. He reached up for the fastening of her bra and she slapped his hands away. She lowered her head and kissed him slowly.

She pushed his shirt opened and stroked his chest. He lifted a hand up to touch her and she shook her head at him.

“I don’t get to play?” he asked.

She shook her head again.

She leaned forward and kissed him very slowly using her tongue to tease him. Pulling back when he lifted his head to try and kiss her some more. She ran her hands all over his body.

She reached into the drawer and pulled out protection for them and saw a look of disappointment on his face before he masked the expression. She grinned at him and opened the foil packet using the contents. He grinned and then moaned feeling her hands on him. She unhooked her bra and removed letting it fall to the floor. She rubbed herself against him and he groaned loudly.

“I need to touch you.” He said to her.

She smiled seductively.

“No.” she whispered into his ear.

He groaned again.

She rubbed her hips against him feeling him move against her.

“Please El I need you.” He said. “I need to be in you and I need to touch you.”

She leant forward and kissed him.

“Do you want another baby?” she asked him.

He nodded.

“Yes I do.” He said immediately. “And if this is your idea of talk then I really don’t like it!” he muttered.

She laughed.

“This is exactly the same you do to me.” She grinned at him. “You get me wild while you try to get me to agree to something I wouldn’t normally agree to.”

She laughed at the little boy look on his face. He groaned and took hold of her waist pulling her toward him as he rolled them over on the bed. He drove into her with a satisfied moan. She laughed and wrapped her legs around him. He took them over the edge.

She took a shower and went to see to their dinner. He lay on the bed for a time thinking about things before he went to join her.

“Hey.” She said.

“Hey.” He replied.

She handed him a beer from the fridge and served the dinner. He sat down at the table and she sat opposite him. She reached for his hand and he pulled away.

“Sorry but I need to focus for a minute.” He said. “I’m selfish.” He began. “You want to get something of you old life back and I want to tie you down with another baby.”

She smiled and waited.

“So I’m going to talk about options with Rachel. I love you El.” He concluded.

She grinned.

“I love you too. And I would love another baby with you.” She said. “In fact I think that another baby would be great.” She told him.

His head shot up.

“Really?” he asked. “But you made me…” he trailed off.

She laughed.

“Yup. I wanted to test you. You’ve been covering up that you want a baby, even when I ask you straight out.” She murmured. “And I keep seeing the look on your face each time babies are mentioned.”

He nodded.

“So we can start tonight?” he asked hopefully.

She shook her head.

“No.” she said.

“Ok.” he said keeping his voice neutral.

She looked at him and held out her hand.

He took her hand within his own and squeezed it.

“Have you finished?” she asked looking at his plate.

He nodded.

“How about we take our desert into the lounge and snuggle on the sofa for a bit.”

He smiled at her.

“Do you want help with cleaning up?” he said.

She shook her head.

“You go through and I’ll be there in a minute.” She said.

She brought him through another beer and a dish of ice cream before getting her own.

“Are you not drinking?” he said.

She shook her head.

He clicked on the tv and flicked through the channels until he found a film and they watched in silence for a while.

Eventually he turned to her.

“You’re not drinking.” He said. “And you want a baby. But don’t want to start tonight.”

She shook her head.

“No you said so we can start tonight and I said no.” she told him.

He looked at her.

She smiled.

He looked at her, seeing her.

“Already?” he asked.

She nodded.

She reached under a cushion and pulled out the test stick and handed it to him. He looked in disbelief at the blue cross in the little window.

“Really?” he asked again.

She nodded.

He pulled her into his arms.

“As happy as I am right now I have to admit to complete panic.” He said.

She laughed at him.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 72

“No need to guess why you are here to see me.” Rachel murmured.

Ella grinned.

“It was an accident. Honest. This time.” she said,

“Uh huh.” Rachel said softly.

“When I collected my stuff form the house I forget to pick up my pills. And with, well everything, it just didn’t enter my head that I was missing them.” Ella told her.

Rachel laughed.

“And did the dog eat your homework too?” she asked.

“Are you saying you don’t believe me I’m shocked.” Ella giggled. “I’m serious. Roman and I well we didn’t plan it but I’m glad and he’s ecstatic. He really wanted a baby. “ She grinned.

“Ok Mrs. Get changed and hop on the table and we’ll do an exam.” Rachel said.

Ella grinned and did as she was told.

“Ok you are approximately 8 weeks pregnant.” Rachel told her. “I don’t have to tell you the rest you know it.”

Ella sat up and used her fingers to indicate a point.

“Vitamins, diet, gentle exercise, blood pressure, “

“Don’t get cheeky.” Rachel told her grinning. “Congratulations Ella.”

“You knew I’d try again didn’t you?” she said.

Rachel nodded.

“You were bound to have one of those really big families and I’m still expecting you to start fostering or adopting more.”

Ella grinned.

“I don’t think we ruled that out. But you know what this means.” Ella chuckled placing a hand on her belly.” He hit the target the first time.”

“Yes, I’m doing a quick count and eight weeks ago he was released from hospital.” She looked at Ella. “No not the first night!” she laughed loudly. “No wonder you called his…”

“Rachel!” Ella exclaimed. “Never ever repeat that please.”

Rachel laughed and after a moment Ella joined in.

“You can dressed now.” She told her.

Ella pulled on her clothes and stood up.

She collected the appointment card and slipped out going to see Roman at the diner. She focused on thinking really sad thoughts all the way there, and by the time she walked in she looked miserable.

Roman looked up when she walked and came over to sit with her a moment.

“It’s ok” he said taking hold of her hand. “We can try again, that is if you still want to.”

She bit the inside of her mouth to stop herself laughing and looked at him.

“What would you say if I told you Rachel has recommended a Hysterectomy?” she asked.

“I’m sorry.” He said immediately. “I know we wanted a baby but you are far more important.”

She nodded and started smiling, unable to keep up the front anymore. She pulled out the appointment card and handed it to him.

“We’ll need to add these dates into our organiser.”

He started grinning and ignoring everyone in the diner he came around and picked her up off the chair and kissed her.

“We’re pregnant?” he asked.

She nodded.

“You witch, You had me going there for a minute.” He moaned. “I should have known you were winding me up, you were way too calm.”

She put her arms around his neck and kissed him again.

“Ella, Darl, can you give us our chef back please we need him to start cooking again.” Irene called out.

El grinned and let him go reluctantly.

“Are we telling people?” he asked.

“Not yet please.” She murmured.

He grinned and looked at her seeing a lingering sadness in her eyes as she thought of the babies she’d lost. He nodded and kissed her again before walking back into the kitchen.

Irene came out a second later and put a banana milkshake in front of her.

“From his nibs.” She said.

Ella giggled and took a long drink.

“And congratulations.” Irene added.

“He didn’t!” El gasped.

Irene shook her head.

“No not in so many words. You always drink milkshakes and he’s grinning from ear to ear.”

El laughed.

“So much for subtle, eh?” she said.

Irene chuckled.

“Don’t worry Darl, someone hasn’t added the numbers 2 and 2 yet.” She said and El looked over to Colleen who was cleaning.

El finished the milkshake.

“I have to go home to my babes.” She said standing and heading out.

She looked in the kitchen and Roman sensing she was there turned around.

“Don’t be late tonight.” She said to him, knowing that he was heading to the house straight after his shift to help or hinder the builder.

“I’ll see you around 6?” he said.

She nodded and blew him a kiss before walking out and heading home.

“Hey Nic.” El called out.

“Hello Step mama.” Nic said. “All babies are asleep.”

“How did you manage that one?” Ella asked sinking on to the sofa.

“Chloroform mainly.” Sae replied.

El laughed.

“How are you fixed for babysitting on these dates?” Ella asked unable to stop herself. She handed over the appointment card.

“No!” Nic gasped and hugged her. ”I can’t believe it.”

El grinned.

“And I’m 8 weeks.”

“8 weeks? That would be when…” Nic gasped and chuckled at the same time. “The first night he got out of hospital but he was exhausted. He fell asleep on the sofa.”

El grinned even wider.

“He faked it so you would all go home. He was planning on an early night just not sleeping!” she chuckled.

“Ok, I’m never going to let Geoff use the excuse that he is tired ever again.” Nic giggled. “You know you are different.” Nic told her after a moment. “You are happier, inside.”

El nodded slowly.

“I’m free Nic.” She said softly. “He calls me Ella and I don’t flinch, it doesn’t hurt. We will get our house back and go home and it will be great just being with him and the children and little miracle. And who knows maybe some adopted brothers and sisters too.”

Nic smiled and put her arms around her.

“New stroppy teens in the bay. Just what we all need.” Nic laughed.

“Have you thought about this? Angel will be in school with her aunt and uncle.” Ella said.

Nicole let out a shout of laughter.

“Well I hope that Miles is still teaching then and Bartlett is there because I am so looking forward to parent teach conferences.” she said. “I’ve feeling that my daughter is going to give him more grief than I ever thought off.”

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 73

“I am not going.“ Roman muttered.

“Its so I can have a natural birth.” She replied. “Lamaze class is perfectly natural.” She grinned at him. “I can arrange for you to go to rifle range afterward and shoot a few guns if that makes it better for you.”

“Ha ha you are so funny.”

She pressed a hand to her belly as she felt the baby kick.

“You son thinks I am.” She told him.

“You can’t tell it’s a boy from just the way you are carrying the baby. That is an old wife’s tale.”

She shook her head.

“Why don’t’ you ask your daughter in law. She has had two boys and girl and she knew Tyler would be a boy.” She told him. “And this feels different to the way I carried Megan.”

He leaned over and kissed her.

“So back to names?” he said.

“Not until you agree to go to Lamaze class with me.” She said.

“I don’t have any choice really do I?” he asked. “You didn’t do this with Megan.”

She shook her head.

“And I regret it. I was afraid I would bond with her and then give her up. Well I needn’t have worried.” She couldn’t stop the small amount of bitterness in her voice.

“El.” He said softly. “You are her mother of course she loves you.”

Ella stood up slowly feeling cumbersome.

“Thanks but she hates me. She knows I thought about giving her up.” She looked over at him. “She adores her daddy.”

He grinned.

“What can I say women like me!” He murmured smugly.

She glared at him and rubbed her back.

“I’m going to bed for a while.” She told him moving away from him.

“Ella.” He called.

She stopped on the stairs but didn’t turn and look at him.

“What is going on Ella?” he asked her.

“Nothing.” She said.

“That’s funny because I could swear we were talking a moment ago and now you’ve frozen up on me.” He looked at her folding his arms across his chest. “Again.” He added.

She shook her head.

“It’s you imagination.” She told him. “I’m tired. I need to lie down.”

She walked up the rest of the stairs and into their bedroom. He heard the door shut and then the turn of the key in the lock. He swore.

On doctor’s orders they hadn’t been intimate for months but she didn’t think he was off doing god knows what did she? She had started locking the bedroom door against him as well as emotionally shutting him out. The thought brought him up short. He couldn’t remember the last time that she had said she loved him. How could he have taken those words for granted especially with everything they had gone through. He absentmindedly touched the place where the bullet had entered his body, feeling the puckered scar through the cloth of his top. He turned and picked up Meggy and collected his keys. It was time to show his wife some romance. And maybe get Meggy in a girlie dress. And on the way back from that impossible mission he would collect the twins from crèche and maybe solve the Middle East crisis.

“Ok so the romance is the easiest part eh Meggy.” He said to her.

She looked at him with eyes so like Ella’s that he grinned just looking at her. He loved her because she was like her Mum, he didn’t acknowledge that she was also like her big sister and flirted. No way, he was definitely looking at sending her and Sophie to convents, he thought with half a grin.

He went into their favourite shop in Yabbie creek and he put Meggy down to the floor and she immediately ran to the boy’s clothes. He chuckled then remembered that he was going to put her in something pink and went into the girl’s section. An hour later and four temper tantrums he found a dress she didn’t bite, or try to rip off or plain scowl at him with the expression that she was going to wait and get him back later. He found himself picking up some baby things in blue too, feeling the need to a, but something for Ella and b, spend more money to apologise for the display the Meggy knocked over, deliberately.

He then arranged for flowers to be delivered to El and picked up a cuddly toy and a large box of chocolates. He found some pretty girlie stuff for baths and checked that pregnant women could use it too. Then he found some lovely candles. She liked candles. He only had to pick up Megan once and tell her to stop it which he considered an improvement.

He drove them home via the crèche, where an overexcited Georgie laughed at Meggy’s dress and world war three broke out. He had to stop Meggy from actually hitting Georgie and wondered, not for the first time, how Ella coped. And now he’d knocked her up again. He was evil, he thought feeling guilty.

He went in the house carrying Meggy and putting her straight into her highchair making sure she was strapped in. She glared at him and he tried not to hum the Omen theme music, no matter how funny it might be, or how appropriate.

He lifted out Sophie and a very restrained Georgie. He hoped that the new baby was a boy because Georgie could do with a bit of macho company.

He guided them into the house and collected his purchases. Sophie went up to Meggy and slapped her on the leg causing her to cry out. Roman had to turn away quickly so that he didn’t let Sophie see he was impressed with her for sticking up for her brother. After a moment he took her to one side and told her why she shouldn’t hit her sister.

She looked at him then turned and pointed to Meggy.

“Hit Georgie bad baby” she said to him.

“Yes, Meggy is bad for hitting.” He told her.

“Not Meggy. Megan. “ Sophie said clearly.

“Yes Sophie she is called Megan but I call her Meggy.” He said wondering what Sophie was trying to say to him.

She looked at Georgie and they lapsed into twin speak.

He chuckled.

She reached out and smacked his leg to get his attention and frowned at him.

“Megan bad baby. Hits mummy.” She said to him.

She walked away and Georgie took her hand. They went upstairs to the playroom and he watched them climb the stairs before looking back at his other daughter.

“Is that true Megan do you hit Mummy?” he asked her.

She looked at him with those big eyes of hers and he decided that he was going to pay more attention in future.

He went into the kitchen and started cooking, making some of Ella’s favourite things. When he heard Megan crying in the next room he ignored her for a moment recognising that she just wanted attention. He could see her from where he was thanks to the alterations on the house anyway. Realising she wasn’t going to get his attention she stopped crying.

Roman laid the table and organised the children’s chairs. He’d had made their dinner too and he went to see Sophie and Georgie. They were playing some game in the playroom. He grinned as he watched them hearing their twin speak, their secret language.

“Come on babes dinner.” He said to them.

They looked up and Georgie stopped what he was doing before getting a look from Sophie. He picked up his favourite teddy and hugged it close before starting to play again.

Roman walked over to them.

“Dinner Babes.” He said again softly.

Sophie turned her back to him.

“Well if you don’t want it I’ll give it to Meggy.” He said.

Sophie turned and looked at him. She picked up a teacup and threw it at him. Luckily it was plastic.

“My god its genetic. “ he said with a chuckle.

“Not meggy.” She said to him. “Meggy bad.”

Georgie pulled away and started putting his thumb in his mouth.

Ella had come out of the bedroom and walked over to them.

“Come one babes dinner.” she said to them, having heard Roman tell them, they looked at her and then they walked towards the door.

“Ella what is going on?” he asked. “Why do our children hate each other?”

“Sophie doesn’t like it when you call her Meggy. She gets special treatment form you.” Ella said. “And I keep telling you that Megan doesn’t like me. You keep dismissing it.”

“I thought it was..” he trailed off.

“Hormones? Guilty conscience? “ she asked.

She shrugged.

“Whatever.” She said and made to go downstairs.

He reached out.

“El.” He said.

She looked at him and he flinched from the pain in her eyes.

“I wish I had given her up.” Ella told him. “I wish I didn’t have any children. I’m just like my mother.”

He reached out and caught her this time before she could get away.

“No you don’t, and no way are you like your mother. I will never ever believe that. I see how much you love all of our children Ella.”

She pushed him and turning escaped back into the bedroom. He moved just as quickly but she had locked the door before he could even get his hand to the door handle.

He knocked.

“El, I’ve cooked dinner. Will you come down please?” he asked.

He waited but then decided he had to leave to see what the children were up to.

He found Sophie and Georgie had moved their highchairs away from Megan and he almost laughed at their determination to get him to notice.

“Point taken Sophie.” He said to her and placed a kiss on her head as he lifted her into the chair.

He kissed Georgie and pulled his thumb out of his mouth.

“No thumb babes.” He said to him.

Georgie looked up at him and he gave him another quick kiss the way that Ella did.

Georgie giggled and that set Megan off crying. Normally he would have gone to her. He was beginning to realise that he had over indulged their youngest daughter in an effort to make up for the uncertainty over keeping her. He ignored her, despite the fact that ignoring a crying baby was like.. …well, he couldn’t think of an analogy but it was tough. How the heck did Ella cope with them he didn’t know and having her upset was, well it felt worse that trying to ignore a crying baby.

He served up Sophie’s dinner first before Georgie’s and then Megan’s.

Ella walked into the room and came over. She kissed Megan first the Sophie and Georgie.

“Don’t I get one too?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“Ok.” he said.

He pulled out the chair and helped her sit down. She didn’t make eye contact with him. He fetched her dinner through and placed the hot plate in front of her. She didn’t even smile at him the way she normally did.

She ate part of the dinner and then stood to take the plate through to the kitchen. He stood too and took it from her placing it on the table.

“Ella can we talk? Really talk please? I don’t know what has you upset but it feels awful. If it is because I haven’t been paying enough attention to what’s been going on I’m sorry. I think you are an amazing mother. You are so good with them. Even Megan and I know she must drive you nuts. I took her shopping today to get her that lovely dress she has now smeared with carrots to show you that she is your lovely daughter. She destroyed half the shop.”

Ella looked down.

“Your other daughter has even tried to tell me that Meggy is bad and I’m listening now. I’m sorry that I never paid enough attention or gave you the support you needed. Please don’t think you are like your mother because you aren’t. You couldn’t be like her in a million years” he said softly. “And I’m going to move back into our bedroom tonight. I miss you.”

She pulled away from him.

“I’m tired I’m going back to bed.” She said still not meeting his eyes.

“I bought you a present.” He said. “And we have ice cream for desert.” He tried to keep his tone normal because the children were in the room with them.

“I don’t want anything.” She said and turned away from him.

“Mummy.” Sophie called holding her hands up.

El turned slowly and looked at her.

“Daddy look after you today Soph.” She said softly to her and walked away.

Roman leaned over and kissed the top of Sophie’s head and his daughter looked at him.

“Any clues on how I can fix this would be welcome Sophie.” He said to her.

She looked at him.

“Mummy sad.” She told him.

“I know.”

Megan looked up.

“Mummy sad?” she said. “Mummy.” She shouted.

Roman fetched the baby wipes to clean faces and hands and he lifted them down. He was focused on Sophie and Georgie and clearing the table and he didn’t notice that Megan had disappeared. He took them upstairs and they went into the playroom. He looked round for Megan and started to panic when he couldn’t find her. He checked all the bedrooms and then went into their bedroom, seeing that the door was open.

“Have you lost someone?” Ella said to him.

“Yes.” He replied. “My wife. I could swear I was talking to her this morning but she disappeared on me.” He told her softly.

“Uh huh,” she said. “So you don’t want this back?” she asked pulling down the covers next to her to show him Megan fast asleep by her side.

“And how did she get there?” he said.

“Well I don’t know but she told me I was sad and hugged me.” Ella said softly.

“And have you been sad?” he said.

El nodded.

“My husband disappeared on me too. I know we aren’t making love but I’ve needed him to notice me and hold me.” She said. “And it would help if he didn’t joke about other women at this time because that hurts.”

“Ah ha.” He said. “So that was what hurt was it?”

“That and this one. She’s gone through a phase….”

“Of hitting you?” he said. “Sophie told me. Then she formed a union with Georgie and decided I needed to sort her out. She threw a cup at me.”

Ella looked at him and burst out laughing.

“That is my daughter.” She said proudly.

“Hey, stop encouraging violence.” He said. “I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find out that this one has been trying to get your attention.”

“I can see that now. But it’s been horrible. I’ve been…”

“Doubting yourself as a mother?”

She nodded.

“And what happened to talking to me about stuff?” he asked her stroking her cheek.

“You haven’t been available Roman. You’ve barely kissed me the past month let alone held me or told me you loved me.” She told him softly.

He lay by her side.

“I knew I should have kicked the door in the first night you locked me out.” He said to her.

She giggled.

“Did that upset you?” She asked him.

“Yes.” He said.

“About as much as saying that you couldn’t bare to be near me and that you were going to sleep in another room?” she asked.

“I didn’t mean it like that, I meant that I couldn’t bare to sleep next to you and not make love to you. You started locking the door so I couldn’t come back in.” he groaned. “What happened to our open lines of communication?” he asked referring to the sessions they’d had with the marriage counsellor.

“I wasn’t aware we had any.” She told him.

He chuckled.

“Apparently not.” He leaned over and kissed her. “I love you.” He said.

He looked at her and waited.

“Ella?” he asked after a moment.

“Oh ok, I love you I suppose.” She told him.

He smiled and kissed her.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 74

“I hate Lamaze.” He said to her.

“Poor baby.” She said with a giggle. “Do you want to go hit something?” she asked him.

“Yes.” He said. “And I think it’s the Lamaze teacher. Or maybe it’s that blonde’s husband who keeps eyeing you up.”

“So let me see… you are allowed to joke about how other woman find you attractive but you get upset when a man looks at me, without I might add, any encouragement from me?” she said to him.

“Of course. It was in our marriage vows. Weren’t you listening to that bit?” he said.

“Uh huh. Must have dozed off at that point. Remind me again how it goes?”

“Well there is the to have and to hold bit then it goes to make funny about other woman and punch any man who looks at you, in sickness and health and that includes man flu etc” he said solemnly.

“Ah, now the man flu bit I remember.” She told him laughing.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, holding her as close to him as possible. The baby kicked between them and he chuckled.

“Come on time to get the scan done” she said walking him through a door and down along the corridor.

“Can we find out the sex?” he said.

“No you have to wait.” She said.

“I can’t.” he said to her.

“You have a bet with Miles don’t you?” she asked folding her arms across the top of her bump.

He looked at her and tried to keep the smile from his face but her eyes met with his and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Yes. I reckon that you can’t tell and he says that you can.” He admitted finally.

They sat down waiting for their appointment.

“No.” she said after five minutes wait.

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” He said.

She turned and looked at him.

“Ok I was, but it was just to tell you how beautiful you look right now.”

“Thank you.” She said. “And this is the last time you get me pregnant. I want you to go do something or stay sleeping in the spare room.” She told him lifting the magazine again.

He unconsciously crossed his legs.

“Shouldn’t we talk about this?” he said.

“I just did.” She told him. “I gave you a choice.”

He chuckled.

“I love you.” He told her.

She looked over at him.

“Thinking over your choices?” she asked him, looking at his crossed legs.

“I’m considering all options.” he said smiling at her.

She looked at him.

“I promise.” He said softly.

She grinned.

“And look how good your promises have turned out so far.” She chuckled.

He held out his hand and she put hers into it.

“El.”

She heard her name called and looked up.

“Louise?” she asked.

“Hello.” Louise said. “I don’t have to ask how you are doing.” She grinned at her.

El struggled to her feet and walked over to the other woman to embrace her.

“Now let me see the last time I heard from you was just before you went to Hong Kong.” Ella said to her.

Louise smiled.

“Yes I just got back.” She told her. “I would have got in touch but things have been crazy.” She said and held up her left hand.

“Oh my god. Who is the lucky man?” El asked seeing the large diamond ring.

“His name is Stephen and his family has like pots of money. And the important thing he adores me.” She said.

“I am so glad.” El told her. “We must catch up. What is your number?”

“I haven’t got my new phone sorted yet. How about you give me your number and I’ll give you a call when I get it sorted?” she said.

El nodded and pulled out a card from her purse, she scribbled her personal number on the back and gave her that.

“It’s been fab seeing you.” El said to her.

Louise smiled.

“I’ll talk you soon.” She promised and walked out of the clinic.

“Roman Ella.” Rachel called.

Ella turned to him and he took her hand and they walked into the hospital room for their scan.

Ella adjusted her blouse and Rachel smeared the gel onto her belly. She pressed the wand on her and looked at the screen.

“Oh my god.” Rachel exclaimed.

“What?” Ella asked worriedly.

“Its’ triplets.” Rachel said.

“No way.” Ella said. ”Cancel the natural birth!”

Rachel chuckled.

“Oh my mistake it’s only the one baby.”

Ella laughed.

“Rachel you are so sacked as my doctor” Ella groaned.

She clicked a button and the baby’s heartbeat was heard around the room.

Ella reached for Roman’s hand and clutched at it.

He smoothed her hair from her face and smiled at her.

“Wow.” He said.

She looked at him.

“Maybe we should talk about our options after all.” She said in a soft tone of voice.

He chuckled.

Bending so his lips were close to her ears he whispered.

“I love you my beautiful wife but this is our last baby. I want to enjoy being us for a while.”

She smiled at him, that secret smile that was only for him and he felt his heart flip over.

“Ok I’ve got your pictures here.” Rachel told them. “And I’m presuming you don’t want to know the sex?”

El looked over at Roman.

“Yes.” she said. “We do.”

He grinned at her.

“You have a little boy coming.” Rachel told them.

She smiled.

Rachel pulled some tissue off the roll and handed it to Ella so she could clean the gel off herself.

Ella sat up and Roman helped her to her feet. Picking up her jacket and holding it up so she could put her arms in the sleeves. She collected the scans from Rachel.

“It won’t be long now.” Rachel told her.

“I know 3 weeks until my due date.” She grinned, she put her hand on her belly. “I can’t wait to meet him and bring him home to Georgie.”

Rachel smiled.

“Seeing you two I’m almost tempted to have another baby.” Rachel told her.

Ella smiled.

“Well I’m not the one to talk to about it.” she said with a smile. “Although talking doesn’t actually get you pregnant does it?”

Rachel chuckled.

Ella walked over to the other woman and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek.

“Thank you Rachel.” She said softly.

Roman smiled at her and led them out of the clinic and out to the car. He put his arms around her shoulders and held her close to his side.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 75

Ella looked at the list on the front of the fridge again.

“No.” she told him.

“But Frank is a good name.” Roman protested from the dinning room where he was feeding Megan. The twins having already eaten and were back upstairs playing.

“Nope. I told you Dante.” She said to him.

She walked through and kissed Megan on her head.

“No.” He looked at her as she eased herself into a chair.

“And what is wrong with Dante?” she asked him.

“Nothing aside from having to pay for the therapy the poor kid will need for all the bullying he will get.” Roman told her.

She grinned and patted his hand.

“Don’t be silly Geoff is trained he will do it for free. And anyway he only has to mention that you were in the Army and they will stop.” She chuckled at his expression. “Eventually.” She added.

He looked at her and smiled back.

“Still no?” she said.

He nodded.

“Orlando?” she asked.

He looked at her and winced.

“Bloom?” he asked.

She looked at him and shook her head.

“Nope, Shakespearean character.” She glared at him.

He chuckled.

“Bradley.” He suggested.

She shook her head.

“I see we aren’t going to solve this one. Maybe I’ll just name the baby without you. It worked for Georgie and Sophie.” She told him.

He shook his head.

“No. We are going to choose a name together.” He said.

She grinned.

“Or we could put up a suggestions board in the diner and see what people come up with.” She muttered.

“That might be our last resort.”

He stood and fetched the baby wipes to clean up Megan. Then he lifted her out and set her down so she could create havoc somewhere. He cleaned up the highchair and moved it back against the wall.

He poured himself a second cup of coffee and sat back down with her while she had her breakfast.

She held out her hand and he took it within his own and smiled at her.

“This is our last baby.” He said.

She looked at him.

“Why?” She asked. “I don’t mean that I don’t agree with you but why did you decide that.”

“Because I miss my wife. I miss sleeping with her.” he looked into her eyes. “Let alone the sleeping with her.” he added with a grin.

She chuckled.

“Are you feeling a little frustrated?” she asked him.

He shook his head.

“No, just lonesome.” He smiled and picked her hand up to press a kiss on it.

She chuckled and put her spoon down in her bowl and moved over to him. She lifted his head up and kissed him slowly. When they broke apart he looked at her.

“Ok, now I’m feeling frustrated.” He told her.

She smiled at him.

“Mister, you don’t know what that is. Try raging hormones and no sex.” She muttered.

He grinned.

“Uh huh.” He muttered.

She grinned.

He stood up suddenly and backed her up against the wall in the kitchen and kissing her hard and passionately. She moaned against his lips and felt his hands move her bathrobe and then nightdress aside and touch her belly gently, then find their way to caress her heavy breasts. He found her nipples and ran his thumb across them feeling them harden with the simple touch. She put her arms around his neck and moaned louder before whimpering at the friction against her aroused nipples. He put his hand lower between her legs and touched her in the way he knew she liked so much. She helped him by leaning back against the wall and lifting her leg and hooking it around his waist.

He rubbed and teased her, his mouth on hers, his other hand playing with her breasts. She fell apart in record time gasping as pleasure overwhelmed her.

He pressed gentle kisses to her lips as her breathing slowed returning to normal.

“Feeling less frustrated now?” he asked.

She nodded unable to talk.

“Good.” He said with a smile.

She glared at him.

“I have to go to work.” He told her. “I won’t be late home.” He whispered with a certain look in his eye. He walked up the stairs to grab a shower and get ready for work.

She adjusted her clothes and went to find Megan.

Megan was sitting on the sofa with one of Nic’s magazines that she had left here looking through it. She stopped at a picture of a model posing with a tiger and pointed to it.

“Cookie.” She said proudly.

El grinned.

“Not quite my lovely but close.” She kissed her daughter and sat next to her as she continued to go through the magazine.

Roman, fresh from his shower peered through the doorway at them and grinned. He lifted up his phone and took a picture.

“Hey!” El grumbled.

“Sorry, you just looked so cute.” He said and watched as they both glared at him.

He chuckled and came over to kiss them.

“The twins are plotting something by the way.” He warned, having seen them moving things around in the playroom.

She smiled

“Come on Meggy lets go see the twins.” She said and stood up slowly. She held her hand out to her daughter and Megan took it, scrambling off the sofa the magazine forgotten.

“Mummy happy.” She said.

“Mummy very happy.” Roman told her with a grin. He watched the blush grow on Ella’s face and chuckled.

“Go to work.” She told him.

He kissed her again and went out the door.

She led Megan up the stairs and found herself clutching at her side by the time she reached the top. She grinned and made a note of the time just in case.

“Sophie and Georgie I’m coming to get you.” She called out softly and heard them giggle. She walked into the nursery with Megan still holding her hand.

Sophie came over to them first and she knelt down to hug her other daughter.

“And what has my lovely Sophie been up to?” she asked her.

“Dolly tea party.” She said.

“And Georgie?” she asked her son.

“Teddy” he said and ran over to her.

“Well hello Georgie’s teddy.” She said and gave the teddy a hug.

“No hug teddy.” He said to her. “Hug Georgie.” He demanded.

She giggled and hugged her son.

“Do we need to tidy up in here?” she asked them.

Sophie and Georgie looked at each other and Sophie shook her head.

El giggled again.

“And why not?” She asked her.

“Not bed time.” Sophie said.

Ella pulled her into her arms and tickled her.

She looked over at Georgie and waited a moment before tickling him and then finally Megan. She sat on the floor and played with all three children for a long time.

“Hey Babes.” She said to them.

Georgie looked up first and she kissed him on his nose.

“Mummy has to take a shower.” She said to them.

“Mummy bu bu.” Megan said, using their world for bubbles.

“That’s right Mummy bu bu.” She told her and kissed her too. “Georgie you’re in charge little man.” She said.

El stood up and checked her watch. She was definitely having contractions. She stopped in her bedroom and rang Nic to let her know she might be needed to baby-sit and took a long warm shower. Her contractions grew stronger and her waters broke. She dressed quickly and called Nic back to let her know she was definitely in labour and could she come over.

She grabbed her bag and put it by the door before picking up the phone and calling Roman.

“Hey.” She said when the call connected.

“Hey yourself.” He replied distractedly.

“Have I called at a bad time?” she asked with a chuckle.

“A little bit. Colleen is off today.” He said.

“Ok shall I ask someone else?” she murmured.

“Might be best.” He said and she heard him mutter a swearword, as a crash sounded behind him.

She laughed.

“Hang on.” He said coming back to the phone. “Someone else for what exactly?”

“To give me a lift to the hospital.” She said softly.

“What now?” he asked sounding slightly panicked.

“I’m afraid so.” She grinned.

He hung up the phone.

She laughed and turned to Nic who had heard half the conversation. She took her children upstairs to the nursery and came back down the stairs.

“He hung up on you?” she asked grinning.

El nodded.

“I think they are having a crisis in the diner.” She said with a grin.

“Well is he coming or should I like ring a taxi?” Nic asked joking.

Ella came over and sat on the sofa.

“I’ll give him a few minutes for it to sink in before I panic. Incidentally how good are you at delivering babies?” she asked her.

Nic paled.

“I think you are confusing me with Aden.” She said quickly. “I might go put the kettle on.” She added walking into the kitchen.

“Nic I was joking no need for hot water.” El told her laughing.

“Ha ha very funny step-mama. I actually need a cup of coffee.” Nic told her. “What exactly do they do with all that hot water anyway?” Nic asked looking at her through the archway.

El shrugged.

“Perhaps it's to make everyone a cup of tea after.” She suggested.

“Do we have time to Google it?” Nic said.

El shook her head.

She looked up as the door opened.

“Hey. You choose your moments don’t you.” Roman told her walking in and giving her a quick kiss.

“Not me Mister it’s your son.” She told him, holding her hands up for him to help her off the sofa.

He grinned.

“Hey dad.” Nic called.

“Hello Princess. “ he said distractedly.

He grabbed her bag and helped Ella to the car. Nic walked to the door and waved them off.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 76

“He’s lovely.” Roman told her.

She grinned.

“Are you feeling emotional Daddy?” she asked him.

Roman nodded.

She looked at him holding the baby.

“Well do you think that maybe I could get a cuddle sometime.” She said softly.

Roman looked at her and grinned.

“Sorry, have I monopolising him?”

El nodded.

He smirked.

“Well you shouldn’t have such gorgeous children should you?” he told her.

He placed the baby in her arms before sitting on the bed beside her and putting his arm round her.

“So we need a name.”

“We do.” She replied. “I was thinking Samuel”

He looked at her.

“Samuel?” he chuckled. “That did not even make the list.”

He looked at his son.

“Are you a Samuel?” he asked him softly stoking his cheek. “I think we could be on to a winner here.” He added with a chuckle.

She smiled.

“Is that traditional enough for you?” She asked with a quick grin.

He laughed.

“It’s perfect thank you.” He leaned over and kissed her. “Thank you for my son.” He said softly kissing her again.

She grinned.

“How about a middle name?” he suggested.

She yawned.

“What did you have in mind?” she snuggled down adjusting her nightdress so the baby could feed.

“Raphael.” He said. “It means healing.”

She looked at him.

“Wow.” She said,

“Seems appropriate for the night we made him.” He added in a whisper. “And for the literary part of you too.”

She looked at him.

“So I think of the traditional name and you come up with the ..” she paused and swapped the baby over to her other breast.

“Yes.” He said forestalling her.

She yawned again.

“Why don’t you let me take him?” he asked after the baby had finished suckling. “You need some sleep.”

She nodded.

“Are you going to go home?” she asked him.

He nodded.

“I think Nic could do with the break from the trinity.” He murmured.

She grinned.

“We’re going to have to think of a different name now.” She said and yawned again.

“Sorry. “ she told him. “I can’t think why I’m so tired.”

“Neither can I you got to lay down during the birth I was standing all the time.” he said with a smile.

She glared at him.

“This is our last baby.” She told him.

He nodded.

“Much as I love seeing you pregnant I really want you to myself.” He said with a smirk.

She giggled at the look in his eyes.

“8 weeks remember.” She warned him.

“I know.” He replied. “And counting.”

He placed the baby in the crib and adjusted the pillows behind her and watched as she fell asleep.

She felt him kiss her and heard the whispered words that he loved her before he took the crib to the nursery to allow her to get some sleep.

He walked in through the front door. Aden and Belle were there too with their children and he saw Meggy telling Tyler and Robbie what to do. He was reminded of one of his drill sergeants from his training in the army and grinned. Amy-Belle and Brett were playing cards with Mike. And he could swear that Amy-Belle was flirting with him. He shook his head it must be lack of sleep, he decided.

“So what is it?” Aden asked with a grin.

“It is a beautiful baby boy Samuel Raphael weighing in at 8lb2 born at 3.40 this morning.” Roman told him proudly.

“She was right.” Mike said. “Pay up.” He instructed.

Aden reached into his pocket and pulled out a banknote and handed that across.

“Any complications?” Aden asked the other man.

Roman shook his head.

Aden nodded.

“Hear that Meggy you have a baby brother.” Mike told her.

She glared at him and started crying.

Belle went to get her.

“Leave her Belle she’s attention seeking.” Roman warned. “I hope that someone has got some coffee going.” He muttered rubbing his face with his hands.

Megan stopped crying when she realised that no one was coming to comfort her and stood up walking over to Roman.

“Hey Megan.” He said picking her up.

Belle laughed.

“She is just like…”

“Don’t say it.” Aden warned. “She’s in the kitchen and she’ll hear you.”

“Too late!” Nic called out.

She walked into the lounge and handed her Dad a coffee, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Congratulations Daddy” she told him with a grin.

“Thanks Nic.” He told her. “Where are the twins?” he asked.

“Sophie won’t let Georgie come down and play.” Nic told him, “Angel is with them.”

Roman grinned.

“I have no idea what Sophie is going to do but I suspect it’s going to be something including World Domination.” He said.

Mike chuckled.

“I think she’s inherited our brains.” He said, then realising the potential insult he added. "And your sneakiness."

Roman chuckled.

“Has someone told your Granddad?” he asked him.

Mike nodded.

“He’s on his way home, from somewhere hot and sandy, he said.”

Roman nodded.

“I’m going to go get some sleep. With any luck Rachel will release El and the baby later today.”

“We should go.” Belle said to Aden.

Roman shook his head.

“Up to you guys of course but if you want to stay and we get some food later I know Ella would enjoy showing off Sam.” Roman told them stifling a yawn.

“Babe?” Aden asked Belle.

She grinned and nodded.

Roman nodded.

“Ok I’m going before I fall asleep standing up.” He said.

He kissed Megan and put her back down watching with a grin as she toddled off to continue playing before turning and heading up the stairs.

He smiled at the thought of his family and then stopped thinking all together as he collapsed on the bed fully dressed and fell deep asleep.

“We should organise food and drinks.” Belle suggested.

Aden nodded.

Nic came and sat near them.

“Another brother.” She said and glared at Aden. “Like I don’t have enough of them.”

Belle laughed.

She put her arm around Nic’s shoulders.

“You are happy though aren’t you Nic.” She asked.

Nic nodded.

“I’m over the moon. I never thought my Dad would be this happy.” She said blinking rapidly as tears threatened her mascara.

Belle chuckled.

“What time will your Granddad get here?” Nic asked Mike.

He shrugged.

“Thinks tonight but it depends.” Mike looked at them. “He didn’t tell me what it depended on so I presume I wasn’t allowed to know that bit.”

Aden looked at him.

“I hope you haven’t joined the Cadets because you think this is cool Remember what your Mum was like when Roman went away.”

Mike nodded.

“I know but I need to know about my real Dad and I sort of feel closer to him this way.” He told them. “My other Mum was an artist but you won’t catch me trying to draw again, I’m useless at that.”

Aden chuckled.

“I think I understand.” Nic told him. “When I came to the Bay to my dad, I came for the wrong reasons, I was running away from a situation, but then I got to know him and it was good.”

Mike grinned.

Aden stood up abruptly and reached for his phone. He looked at the caller display and walked into the hallway to answer it.

“Hey Rach,” he said in greeting and listened. “Ok slow down.” He added.

“Aden, we have security looking now but we don’t know.” She said.

“So you are telling me someone walked in and took the baby.” He said, turning round as Nic gasped behind him.

Belle came and stood next to her.

“I don’t know how it happened I wasn’t here. But essentially yes. Someone has taken Ella’s baby.” Rachel was telling him.

Aden looked at the floor trying to compose himself.

“Have you called the police?” he asked.

“Yes. Charlie is on her way now. “ Rachel told him softly. “We have the security tapes lined up for her to watch. Ella is asleep so we haven’t told her yet. And I presume you are with Roman.”

“Yes, but I hope you aren’t expecting me to tell him.” Aden said quickly.

“No it’s my job. I’m on my way over now. I just wanted to prepare you. There will be added security at the hospital so I had to ring you anyway because you work here.” She explained. “I’ll see you soon.” She added the final bit and hung up.

“Aden?” Nic asked quickly.

“Someone took the Baby out of the nursery.” He told them.

Nic looked at him.

“Are you saying that…..” she trailed off, unable to phrase the rest of the sentence.

Aden nodded brusquely.

“He’s been kidnapped.” He told them.

Mike came over and Nic put her arm around him.

“When? How?” he said.

“I don’t have any information. Rachel is on her way over to tell him.” Aden told them. “Nic I think we should get some drinks going. Mike can you take the kids to the playroom or out the back?” he asked him.

Belle grinned for a second loving the way her husband took charge but then the knowledge that the baby was missing made her shudder and look over at her three.

Mike turned and gathered up everyone taking them up the stairs to the playroom.

Nic walked into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee going. She pulled things out of the cupboard and began making a batch of Brownies.

“Not that I’m going to argue as it is chocolate, but why are you cooking?” Belle asked her.

“Because I need to do something and also this is a chocolate free zone in the last month’s of Ella’s pregnancy so she doesn’t snack.” Nic told her. “I think I need something with Chocolate.” She added calmly.

“Nic.” Belle said softly.

Nic shook her head.

“I’m not going to fall apart and make other people pick me up. “ she said. “I’m going to be strong my Dad and Ella will need that.” She told Belle. “So I’m making Brownies.”

Belle nodded.

“What else is in the cupboard that we can make?” She asked Nic.

Nic grinned even as a single tear fell down her cheek.

Rachel knocked on the door and Aden let her in.

“He’s asleep.” He said, then, “Sorry Rachel how are you?”

Rachel smiled briefly.

“I can’t tell you much until I’ve spoken to him. Can we wake him up?” she asked taking in that everyone was waiting.

“I’ll go and get him.” Nic volunteered after no one else did.

She walked up the stairs slowly. Each step took a heartbeat away from her. She turned to say something to them at the bottom of the stairs but couldn’t make her mouth work. She blinked and felt blackness wash over her. Aden ran up the stairs and caught her before the faint took over. He picked her up and stood there debating whether to go up or down when he saw Roman come out of his room. He took in the scene with a single glance.

“What is it?” he asked even as he went over to Aden and took the still prone Nic in his arms and carried her into one of the spare rooms.

She opened her eyes and blinked.

“I’ll look after her you need to see Rachel.” Aden told him not meeting the other mans’ gaze.

Taking a deep breath he walked down the stairs and took in the look on everyone ‘s face.

“It’s not El or the baby is it?” he asked thinking the worst.

Rachel took a breath as she stepped forward and took hold of his arm. She led him to the sofa and sat them down.

“El is fine but it is about the baby.” She began. “There isn’t an easy way to tell you. The baby was kidnapped this afternoon.” She told him.

He stood and paced over to the fireplace.

“What are you doing about it?” he said his voice devoid of emotion.

Rachel looked over and saw Aden and Nic were now in the hallway with the others.

“We’ve contacted the police, we are reviewing the security tapes. We believe it was done by a woman.” She said softly. “They will want a list of people who you have been in contact with to rule them out. This type of kidnapping is done by someone who knows the people involved in some way.”

Roman nodded slowly.

“And El? How is she?” he asked.

“We haven’t told her yet Roman. We thought you would want to be with her.”

He nodded.

“We should go.” He voice was still flat.

“Dad.” Nic said softly.

He shook his head at her.

She nodded in response. They watched as Rachel drove off Roman in the car with her.

“Nic?” Aden asked.

She walked over and sank on the sofa.

“He is stuffing down the emotion inside himself so he can focus on the…..” she stopped.

“The mission.” Mike finished for her. “Miles got through to him last time he was like this.”

Nic looked at him and held out her hand to her brother. Mike came and sat next to her.

“Gardy.” Aden said.

Nic nodded.

“And it hurt.” Nic added. “It hurt me, watching it so I have no idea what it did to him.”

Belle walked through to the kitchen and fetched the warm brownies. She bit into one and sighed with bliss before reluctantly handing the plate round.

Nic nodded and took two.

“Just to clarify. You aren’t…...” Belle asked her.

Nic shook her head.

“No I’m not. I have no idea why I fainted.” She said. “But the idea of having to wake my dad and him seeing my face, well I knew he would know immediately something was wrong and I couldn’t do it.” She said softly in explanation.

“And you fainted.” Belle said nodding.

Nic grinned

“And low blood sugar.” She suggested taking another brownie.

Mike reached for one too.

“Should we warn Miles?” he asked.

Nic nodded.

Roman walked into El’s room and saw her asleep. He paused trying to put a neutral expression on his face but he had just spoken to Charlie and hearing her, well they had no clues to go on and that meant they had no idea where their baby was.

“Hey. “ he said softly waking her up.

“Hey yourself.” She muttered closing her eyes again.

“No El I need you to wake up.” He told her.

Her eyes sprang open at his tone of voice.

“What is it?” she said.

“El, it’s ..” he broke off unable to do this to her.

Rachel stepped forward and took hold of Ella’s hand.

“There is no easy way to say this Ella but someone has taken the baby.” She told her.

Ella gasped and looked at Roman’s face for confirmation.

He nodded.

She looked at Rachel again.

“Why?” She said. “Why would someone take my baby?”

Rachel looked at her.

“We think it is someone you know. I have Charlie outside she needs to talk to you. Are you ok to answer some questions?” Rachel said softly.

El nodded.

Roman went to stroke her hair away from her face but she flinched form his touch. He and Rachel shared a concerned look.

El sat up on the bed.

“Easy.” Roman warned.

She ignored him and stood up moving away from him towards the bathroom. He went to help her but she shook her head at him going into the small room and closing the door behind her.

“Roman.” Rachel told him.” give her time.” she cautioned.

Roman shook his head.

“If I’d stayed an extra five minutes.” He said, having seen the security tape and the time code on it.

“Then whoever took the baby would have taken him five minutes later. They wanted the baby and would have taken him no matter what.” Rachel told him.

“Samuel.” Roman told her. “We were calling him Samuel.”

“Past tense?” El said from the doorway into the bathroom. “You are talking about my baby in the past tense. Get out.” She shouted. “Get out I don’t want you.”

Roman looked on her in horror.

“I didn’t mean that.” He said.

She shook her head at him.

“Go.” She screeched.

Rachel walked over to Ella.

“Come on El, I need you to calm down.”

She pushed the other woman away.

“I’m calm. Get out. I don’t want you. Nothing good comes from loving you.” She told him.

He stepped towards her but she started screaming hysterically before collapsing onto the floor sobbing. He came over and picked her up to put her in the bed. She fought him scratching his hands. Reluctantly he left her with Rachel and went outside.

On the plus side she mentioned still loving him and on the bad side she never wanted to see him again. Just another normal day in Summer Bay he thought with a groan.

Rachel came out and went over to the nurse station, where she spoke to one of the nurses. She was handed a dish and he caught a glimpse of a hypodermic syringe in it and he knew that it wasn’t good.

She looked at him briefly as she turned and went back into Ella’s room. Within minutes she came back out and disposed of the syringe in the sharps bin before walking over to him.

“El is ..” she began.

She leaned over and took his hand.

“I’ve given her something to keep her calm but I’m worried about this reaction. I think the best place for her will be at home with your other children.” She told him.

“Ok.” he said and waited for more.

“She said she was like her mother and she shouldn’t have kids.” Rachel added.

He nodded.

“She’s said this a few times recently. We’ve had problems with sibling rivalry and I thought we had talked it over and got past this.”

Rachel nodded understandingly.

“She didn’t have a good relationship with her mother then? Aside from the bit she spoke about a long time ago she doesn’t mention her.”

Roman nodded.

“No and I know very little. She’s never told anybody the full story.” He murmured.

Rachel nodded again, absorbing the information.

“I think the best thing will be to get her home. Try and get her focused on the other children for a bit.” She told him.

“I’ll organise things.” He said.

Rachel placed a comforting hand on his shoulder after she stood and left him to it.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 77

She walked into the house and past everyone without looking at them. Her steps took her up the stairs and straight into the bedroom. Roman walked behind her but too late to prevent her from slamming and locking the door. Shutting him out again.

He sank down to sit beside the door uncertain what to do or say. She had rejected him in the car. Not spoken to Miles who had been despatched to pick them up. Finally after a long moment he stood and went downstairs and into the kitchen.

“So I take it Mum isn’t doing ok?” Mike asked.

Roman shook his head.

“Nope.” he looked at him. “I’m sorry Mike.” He told him.

Mike nodded grimly.

“It’s ok.” he said. “Granddad will be here tomorrow.” He added.

“Can you sort out the guest bedroom for me Mike?” Roman asked, hoping that by giving him something to do it would help keep him occupied.

Mike nodded and disappeared up the stairs.

He walked though to the lounge.

“Belle has taken the children home.” Aden told him.

“Geoff is on his way over.” Nic added.

Roman looked at them uncertain what to say to them.

Aden walked over to him and placed his hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t know what to say either. “Aden told him.

Roman nodded and turned and walked back into the kitchen. He finished making the sandwich, added some of the brownies covered then with kitchen wrap and then picked up a bottle of water. He put them all on a tray and carried it up the stairs. He placed it on a table by their bedroom door and took a step back and raised his leg and kicked the bedroom door open. There was a loud cracking sound as the wood splintered. He ignored the gasp from Nic downstairs and collected the tray to walk inside.

“Get out.” Ella screamed at him from the bed where she was laying.

Roman shook his head and walked over to her. He placed the tray on the bedside table and caught hold of her hands sitting next to her.

“Ella I will leave you alone on certain conditions.” He began and almost flinched from the scathing look she gave him.

“There will be no more locking me out. You need to eat. And the children need to see you.” He told her.

She didn’t say anything.

“I will be back to collect the tray later.” He finished.

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips before letting go and standing up. He walked to the door and out before she reacted. Closing the door behind him he leant against the wood for a moment before getting himself together and going back down the stairs.

Nic was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. She opened her arms and put them round him.

“Dad.” She said softly.

He soothed her hair.

“She needs some time.” Roman told her.

Nic nodded.

He kissed the top of her head and she smiled sadly at him. They broke apart when the door opened and Geoff walked in.

“Nic.” He said. “Roman.”

Roman acknowledged him with a nod and went to get himself a drink. He poured out a coffee and took it out the back away from everyone. The coffee remained untouched in front of him as hr starred out in the dark.

Nic sat with Geoff and Aden on the sofa. After a time Mike joined them.

“I’ve made up some spare rooms if you want to stay over Nic.” He told her. “Angel and Robbie are asleep. I put the others to bed too.”

“Sorry Mike I should have helped with the children.” Nic told him guiltily.

“It’s ok Nic. I needed something to do. How long has been out there?” Mike asked with a nod to Roman.

Aden looked over at the man sitting on the veranda.

“Two hours and counting. I don’t even think he’s moved.”

“We should get some food into him.” Geoff suggested.

Mike nodded.

“Maybe if we order Pizza Mum might come down.” Mike told them hopefully.

“Has anybody spoken to her yet?” Geoff asked.

Nic shook her head.

“Do you think ..” Mike began.

“Might be best to leave her for a bit.” Aden told him.

Mike nodded.

Nic put her arm round him and gave him a hug.

“I don’t know how little brother but I’m pretty sure we will get through this.” She told him.

Mike nodded again and looked out at Roman still sitting in the same position.

“Someone should go to him.” Mike told them.

Geoff and Aden looked at each other.

“Maybe we call Miles?” Geoff suggested.

“Wuss.” Aden said.

“Well you go to him.” Geoff told Aden.

“Er…boys…” Nic said trying to get their attention.

“Not me Bible Boy.” Aden said quickly.

They continued arguing not noticing that Roman had stood up and walked inside.

He looked over at them and watched as they lapsed into silence. He went into the kitchen and put his cup in the sink before turning and looking at them.

“Have you guys eaten?” he asked them.

Mike shook his head.

“Ok does someone want to order pizza or something.” Roman suggested.

He walked thought the lounge and went upstairs checking on the children before standing and walking to the bedroom door. He took a deep breath and went inside.

Ella was lying with her back to the door. He saw that she hadn’t eaten and he almost swore.

“Ella. I need you to eat please.” He said.

He moved to sit on the bed.

“I know this is hard for you El, but I need you to eat and keep your strength up. Charlie needs to talk to you.” Roman said softly.

He reached out to touch her shoulder wincing as she flinched away from him.

“The children need you El.” He said to her trying to get her to talk.

She flinched again.

“El I don’t know what to say to you. I need you.” He added. “I need you El and I can’t do this alone. We have to talk and try and figure out who has our son.”

She moved on the bed so she was further away from him.

“Your needs.” She said in a cold voice. ”I need you to leave me alone.”

“I can’t leave you alone El. I know that you are hurting and I’m scared that this pain is going to take you away from us.” Roman told her softly.

She said something that he didn’t hear.

“El?” he questioned.

“You’d be better off without me anyway.” She said again.

“How can you say that?” Roman told her, his voice hoarse. “How can you even think that?”

“It’s the truth. I’m bad.” She said. “Leave me alone.”

“Ella.” He said quickly.

He tried to touch her but she moved further away.

“Get out.” She told him.

He stood and picked up the tray walking out quickly and down the stairs.

“Roman?” Geoff said softly following him into the kitchen.

“You drew the short straw?” Roman asked him

Geoff shrugged.

“Best 2 out of 3 rock paper scissors.” He told him.

Roman grinned.

“And Miles had his phone switched to the answer phone.” Mike told him from the archway.

Roman grinned for a second.

“Mum isn’t doing so well is she?” Mike asked.

Roman looked at Mike and debated what to tell him.

“No she isn’t.” he admitted finally.

“Is there anything I can do?” he asked.

Roman shook his head.

“I think we need to give her some time.”

Mike nodded.

“We have Pizza ordered.” He told him.

“Thanks Mike. I’m going to give it a miss I need to get to bed. I take it I have you to thank for looking after the kids?”

Mike nodded again.

“I appreciate it Mike.” Roman told him.

Mike flushed and moved away restlessly.

“If you need to talk Roman.” Geoff told him. “Aden is in there.”

Roman grinned.

“Thank you.” He said to him and made his way up the stairs. He walked to the room he had been using and stood for a long minute before turning and walking in their bedroom. He kicked off his shoes and lay beside her but on top of the covers. Within minutes he was asleep.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 78

George got out of the taxi and paid the driver. He walked up to the door and took a step back when it opened and Mike showed him in.

“Mike.” He greeted his grandson with a hug.

“Granddad.” Mike said quickly.

“George.” Roman said to him walking out of the lounge. He shook hands with Ella’s father.

“How is she?” he asked him.

Roman shook his head.

“Let me get you a coffee and we’ll go out back.” Roman told him softly.

George nodded and placed his bag by the door.

He followed Roman into the kitchen and accepted a cup of coffee from him before stepping out side and taking a seat on the veranda.

“I take it there are no leads?” He asked him.

Roman shook his head.

“Nothing yet. But I need to talk to you about El’s mother.”

George paled.

“What do you want to know?”

“I want to know what she did to her daughter that has convinced Ella she is a bad person.” Roman said taking a long drink of his coffee.

George drank his coffee.

“What has she said?” he asked.

“Well let me see she told me she was shipped off to boarding school when she was 8 and wasn’t allowed home. Oh and her mother tried to kill her when she told you she was pregnant.” Roman muttered.

George looked at the floor.

“Perhaps it is time I had a chat with my daughter.” He said. “You better come too.”

“George if this …” Roman began.

”I need to talk to her. I had no idea she felt like this.” George said sadly.

Roman grimaced.

“I think she has been bottling a lot of things up over the years.”

George nodded.

“Come on.” He said to Roman and stood leading the other man to Ella.

They climbed the stairs and Roman indicated which room to go in. George pushed open the door and took in the scene. The curtains were drawn cutting out the light, an untouched tray of food sat on the side. El was in bed with her back to the door. She hadn’t even bothered to undress after the return trip home form the hospital.

“Elizabeth.” George said loudly.

She sat up in shock and looked at him.

He moved quickly around the bed and sat beside her.

Roman followed suite.

“I need to talk to you Princess and what I need to talk to you about isn’t easy.” George began. “I need you not to interrupt but I will answer all of your questions. Ok.”

She glared at him and Roman almost chuckled, her anger was better than her apathy.

“I was away a lot when you were a child so I never questioned why you weren’t a happy child. I should have done. But your mother was very persuasive and had a range of excuses. You didn’t play well with others she said so that is why you never had friends. And you were always falling over so that is why you had lots of bruises.”

He stopped for a moment to take a deep breath, he felt Roman’s eyes on him but he could look at the other man knowing that he would be angry. After a moment he continued.

“I came home unexpectedly when you were 8 and your mother had hit you so bad that you were in bed. I had to take you to hospital to have your broken arm set. After that I sent you to boarding school because there you would be out of the way of her and I could arrange to be home during the school holidays so she couldn’t hurt you anymore.” He told her. “I know it seems cruel El, but that was the only way I could protect you.”

She looked at him and tears began to fall down her face.

“You’re not my father.” She said quietly.

He shook his head.

“I’m not your biological father but I am the father who has loved you all your life. I’m sorry that my crappy choices hurt you El. You are not bad. I know that is her voice you hear in your head telling you that isn’t it?”

She nodded.

Roman moved closer to her and put his arms around her feeling relieved when she didn’t pull away from him.

“I couldn’t leave her because she threatened suicide. And anyway she knew I could possibly get custody of Mike but she would reveal I wasn’t your father and I couldn’t leave after that because it would have left you with her.”

She looked at him.

“She was..” she said pausing. “You knew the right things to say to me after Gardy and you knew them…”

“Because your mother was raped and you were born afterwards. And she punished you every day because of it.” George told her.

El gasped and clung tighter to Roman.

“Meggy.” She said softly.

George nodded.

“That is why you are nothing like her El, you could never be a bad mother. You would rather have given up your beautiful daughter than risk ever doing anything like that to her. And you can’t tell me that knowing she was out there and you couldn’t see her or be with her wouldn’t have hurt you because look at you now.”

She gasped and felt a sob tear through her.

“Why did she kill herself?” Roman asked.

“Because I told her it was the last straw when she threw you down the stairs I was leaving her.” George told them still feeling the guilt of the last argument.

Ella moaned and turned in Roman’s arms pressing herself to him.

He held her tight as he felt her start to cry.

“Ella always thought it was because Jennie told her she was giving Mike to El to look after.” Roman told him.

George looked at her.

“I’m sorry that we didn’t talk El, I shouldn’t have been so distant but after she died I just felt relief. And that made me fell guilty. I was relived that she couldn’t hurt you anymore. And she had been my wife and was the mother of my children so how could I feel that.” He told her.

She pulled away from Roman to look at him, taking a deep breath she said.

“Do you know who..”

He nodded.

“I know his name and I have an address for him.” he told her.

Ella nodded.

She moved off the bed and walked over to the window to open the curtains.

“I need a shower.” she told them.

George slowly moved off the bed and went out of the room.

“El?” Roman asked softly.

“I need some time.” she told him.

He stood and walked over to her and pressed a kiss to her lips before leaving her alone, closing the door softly behind him.

Mike saw her first as she walked down the stairs. She looked at him and opened her arms and he was unashamed the way he ran to her and held her.

“Mum.” He said.

She grinned at him before she turned and looked at the other three children and knelt on the floor laughing as they ran to her. She pressed kisses on their faces and held them. She added extra kisses to Meggy.

“Ella.” Roman said softly.

She looked at him and held out her hand.

He walked over to her and pulled her to her feet taking her into his arms.

“I’ve missed you.” He said to her.

She grinned.

“We need to find our baby.” She told him.

He nodded.

“I’ll give Charlie a call.”

She looked at him and pressed a kiss to his lips and nodded before moving into the kitchen. She took in the discarded pizza boxes and growled.

“Well you should have come downstairs last night.” Roman told her

She gave him a look and he grinned again but moved out of range so she couldn’t poke him in the ribs.

Mike walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge to show her the remaining pizza box. She opened it and sighed before putting some slices on a plate and warming them in the microwave. She took them out to the veranda and sat next to her dad. For a long moment they looked at each other without saying anything.

She sighed.

“I love you dad.” She told him. “But I need that address.”

He nodded.

“I know. I also knew I would have to tell you one day but I was scared that I would lose you.”

She took hold of his hand.

“Sorry but you don’t get rid of me that easily.” She smiled at him.

He put his arm around her shoulder and she leaned into him, lifting the plate with the pizza on to her lap.

He leaned over and snagged a slice.

“You get this from me.” He told her.

“My love of pizza?” she grinned.

“Ok but where does my throwing things and my temper come from, not to mention my impatience?”

“Oh, that would be me too.” He smiled over at her.

She laughed and snuggled closer to him.

Roman came out and looked at her. She smiled at him and he came and sat the other side of her. They laughed as the bench creaked under the combined weight.

“Charlie will be here soon.“ He told her.

She nodded chewing slowly on the pizza.

“And I can add a few more things to that list. Untidiness, drinking, swearing, hatred of mornings, taking naps every chance you get.” Roman said softly taking advantage of the fact she was eating pizza and couldn’t interrupt.

“Oi!” she said when she had finished chewing. “You want to be careful what you say I could get you sent to Afghanistan you know I have connections.”

He leaned forward kissed her.

“I love you.” He told her gently.

She grinned.

“I love you too.”

They sat together for a long time.

[TelephotoMarigold]

A/N This contains strong scenes.

Chapter 79

Charlie sat at the table with them. Mike had taken the children upstairs but had come down so he could hear the conversation too. Her father was also sitting next to her.

“I know this is a silly question but how are you doing?” Charlie asked.

Ella looked at her for a long moment.

“Well I’m out of bed so that must be a good sign.” She settled for a glib response still in turmoil over the day’s events.

Charlie nodded.

“Ok so we have looked at the security tapes and determined that the person who snatched your baby was a woman, between 5ft3 and 5ft5 and had blonde hair, they were wearing an ill fitting nurses uniform which we later found placed into a trash can. This tells us that it was in all likelihood not premeditated.” Charlie paused and looked at Ella.

She nodded her understanding.

Charlie continued.

“Kidnappings of this type are usually done by someone who are able to care for a child, familiar with the community, often they have undergone an abortion or had a miscarriage or some other fertility issues. The profile suggests that they plan the adduction and do not focus on one child but we believe that is not that situation in this instance.” She told her.

“You think its someone who knows me? Knows us?” Ella asked.

Charlie nodded slowly.

“Can you think of anyone who might fit the profile?” she asked her. “Bear in mind that I have already spoken to Roman and I have his list.”

“Off the top of my head only one name comes to mind and that is Martha, only because I know that she has tried again with in vitro and been unsuccessful. But I know she wouldn’t do this.” El looked at Roman. “Everyone else I know is in the Bay. I don’t have a lot of girlie type friends.”

She didn’t see her father flinch at the comment.

“What about at the support group?” Roman prodded.

“No not really. Most of them didn’t want to stay in touch. I mean that when you introduce people you normally tend to add how you met them or something.” She looked down.

“What about Louise?” Roman asked gently.

Ella looked up.

“What about her?” Ella said quickly. “No, she wouldn’t do this. She’s happy now and put it behind her.”

Charlie looked at her hearing the slightly off subject phrasing.

“Is that the same Louise?” she said gently.

Ells nodded.

She looked up and tears were falling from her eyes.

“She wouldn’t have taken my baby.” She said in defence of the woman.

Charlie nodded and put her hand on Ella’s.

“What can you tell me El?” she asked.

“She got pregnant. She had it aborted.” She said so quietly that they could barely hear her.

“Gardy’s?” Charlie asked.

Ella nodded.

“Don’t make me…” she said.

“El.” Roman said softly.

She looked at him, once more haunted by the events in the room.

“He’s dead and he’s still hurting us.” She gasped.

Roman nodded and took hold of her hand.

“El, it’s going to be ok.” he told her, letting his voice fill with a confidence he didn’t have, just to keep her calm. He recognised that with the revelations of the day and their missing son she was vulnerable to everything.

“I need any contact details you have for her.” Charlie said trying to focus Ella on something.

She shook her head.

“I don’t have any. She had just moved back into the area.” She said quickly. “Sorry, I need to go lay down.” She stood and walked out of the room.

They refrained from comment until she had gone.

“Roman.” Charlie said softly.

“I know.” He murmured. “She’s had enough.”

“I’m sorry.” George said quickly to him.

Roman shook his head.

“George, she needed to hear that.” He murmured feeling as though someone had run him over with a truck.

“Needed to hear what?” Mike asked him.

George looked at him and then at Roman.

“Tell him.” he said and watched as George led outside Mike and they were soon in deep conversation.

Charlie looked over at Roman.

“So it’s not just about Samuel.” She asked.

He shook his head.

“I never knew how common rape was.” He said bitterly. “Or how it can make people do nasty things.”

“El was abused?” she asked.

Roman looked down at his hands, clenched into fists.

He nodded.

“Her mother?”

He nodded again.

Charlie placed her hand on top of his in sympathy.

“1 in 5 woman suffer some kind of trauma.” Charlie quoted statistics.

Roman nodded.

“You and Ella have a bond Roman you can get through this.”

He looked at her for a long moment, part of him remembering their previous relationship and how they had turned out because she assumed he loved Martha, except he now knew that it was never Martha who had his heart but Ella. The real reason he had never made a commitment to anyone.

“I don’t want to get through this Charlie” he said looking bleak. “I just want her to be ok.” he added after a long moment. “I’d do anything to stop her hurting.”

He was unaware that the first part of his pronouncement had been overheard.

Charlie looked sad.

“Roman.” She said softly. “I will do everything I can to find Samuel and bring him back to you, to the both of you.”

Roman nodded and looked at her.

“We have friends.” He began.

She interrupted.

“As long as they don’t hinder my investigation I see no reason that you can’t have them here.” She told him. “Besides Pete told me one or two stories about you that last I worked with him.”

Roman half grinned.

“They were all lies.” He said quickly.

He turned and caught a glimpse of Mike outside on the veranda.

“I need to go. Can you let yourself out?” he asked feeling ungracious.

Charlie nodded and stood from the table at the same time Roman stepped out onto the veranda.

“Mike?” he asked softly, taking in George sitting to one side looking like he had been punched.

“He let her go through that and he didn’t bother to help or get in touch all these years.” Mike said bitterly.

Roman sighed.

“I know.” He said. “But getting mad doesn’t help your mum does it?” he added reasonably.

Mike shook his head.

“You should have done more.” He muttered still starring at his grandfather.

George looked at him.

“Don’t you think I know that?” he said. “But I had no training except the army. I couldn’t have got a job anywhere else and take care of two children. Let alone actually get custody of them both. I was stuck Mike.”

“Mike, I need you to listen to him. The times were different back then. Fathers had very little rights.” Roman said softly. “As soon as he knew what was going on he got her to safety.”

He looked at his son and saw him struggling for control and also to get some conceivable understanding of the situation.

“Even ten years after that I struggled to get access to see Nic.” Roman pointed out. “And If he had done anything different you wouldn’t be here. She and I wouldn’t have been together.”

Mike looked at him.

“How could she think she was bad? She is the best mother.” He said quietly.

Roman stood and walked over to him taking him into his arms for a quick hug.

“We know Mike and part of that is down to your Granddad, however much you might want to think otherwise.”

Mike nodded and looked at him.

“Now do you think I can trust you not to kill each other while I go check on your Mum?” he asked.

Mike nodded.

“I suppose so.” He murmured, suddenly feeling guilty for adding more stress.

“Good.” Roman said.

He turned and left them to it going up the stairs slowly feeling completely wrung out. He suspected that this was only part of what she was going through.

“Ella.” He said softly walking into the bedroom.

She was sitting on the bed facing the window.

“Hey.” He murmured, when she didn’t acknowledge him.

He walked around the bed to sit beside her reaching out and taking hold of her hand.

“Hey.” She said at last.

“Your hands are cold. Why don’t you climb under the covers.” He suggested.

“Its ok. Everything will soon be cold.” She said cryptically.

He moved closer to her and put his arm around her.

“I’ve got Pete and James coming to help us find Samuel.” He told her. “I’ve cleared it with Charlie.”

She nodded slowly.

“I hope you find him.” she said.

He looked at her then.

“Ella what have you done?” he asked feeling dread in the pit of his stomach.

She turned and smiled sadly at him.

“I’m my mother’s daughter.” She told him. “Now you’ll be free and you won’t have to get through anything.”

He stood and pulled her to her feet and shook her violently.

“What have you done Ella?” he asked quickly.

“Didn’t hurt.” She told him. “Thought I would feel something but it didn’t hurt. I just want to go to sleep.”

He let go of her and looked around the room then raced into the ensuite and saw the empty prescription bottle.

“Ella.” He cried out, rushing back into the bedroom. “How many did you take?” he asked her.

She fell back on to the bed and sighed.

“All of them.” she told him, her words slurring.

He reached for his phone and dialled Rachel’s number.

“Pick up.” He muttered. “Pick up.” He said again.

“Hello.” Rachel came on the line eventually.

“Ella’s taken an overdose. I don’t know how many tablets.” He said to her.

“Ok, I’m on my way.” She said to him and cut the connection.

He went over to her and helped her up forcing her to walk around the bedroom. She pushed against him.

“Just want to sleep.” She said bitterly. “Make it all go away.”

He swore before grabbing her by the arms and shaking her violently.

“Dammit Ella how could you do this to me?” he asked her.

She looked at him for a long moment finally focusing on him.

“You don’t want me.” She said. “I’m worthless. I’m damaged.” She shuddered. “I’m nothing more that the daughter of a rapist.” She flinched as she said the word.

He shook her again.

“You are my wife.” He told her.

She flinched.

“Now I’m nothing. I should have been scraped out of her then they all would have been happy.”

“Not me. I wouldn’t have been happy.” He said shaking her again before forcing her to walk around the room. He looked up in relief when the bedroom door opened and Rachel walked in.

George stood in the doorway behind her. He went pale and gasped.

“Ella, can you hear me?” Rachel said to her. “I need to know how many tablets you took.”

Ella flinched at the question.

“All of them Rach, but don’t worry am only going to sleep.” She murmured. “Just want to sleep and never wake up.”

Rachel nodded.

“Roman can you put her on the bed for me and step outside.” She instructed.

He did so slowly and stepped out of the room. George took hold of him and led him downstairs. He sat him down and went looking for Mike and instructed him to go take care of the children and keep them in their room with the door shut. After that he went searching through the cupboards until he found the whisky and poured out a large measure taking it through to Roman.

“Drink this.” He instructed him.

Roman swallowed it in one and handed the glass back.

He felt the alcohol warm through him and only realised how shocked he was.

“Why would she do it?” he asked George.

“Because she had nothing left to stop her.” he murmured. “She’s always known deep down that there was something different about her. She kept trying to please her mother but nothing was ever good enough until finally she set off on her own.” He took a step away from Roman and looked out into the garden. “She’s strong Roman but not strong enough to go through all of this.”

“She had me George. I was never going to leave her.”

He looked up and was about to speak when Rachel came in.

“She’s ok, I’m just going to let her sleep them off.” She said to Roman. “When she wakes I need you to bring her to see me. “

“Is that it?” Roman asked.

Rachel nodded.

“I’m not convinced it was a determined suicide attempt, more a cry for help. The prescription was one I gave her 3 years ago. There was just over a dozen tablets left in it.” she told them.

“How do you know?” George asked her.

Rachel grinned sadly.

“Because she never touched them and I only prescribed enough for a 2 week supply and they were the lowest dose possible.” She came and sat next to Roman. “She’s hurting Roman and she’s convinced that she has caused you enough trouble so she wanted to release you.”

She told him gently.

He flinched.

“She must have heard something I said to Charlie.“ he said realisation setting in.

“What was that?” she asked him.

“I said that I didn’t want to get thought this.” He murmured. Then he looked up “but that was the start of it. I also said that I would do anything to stop her hurting.”

Rachel nodded.

“And I think that by taking herself out of the equation she was trying to stop it hurting for you. Not the best way to do it but in her present condition having just given birth and the baby now missing and I understand that something else happened today too, that had an emotional impact.”

He shook his head.

“Can I go to her?” he asked.

She nodded.

“I need someone to stay with her anyway. If there is anything you are unsure about just give ma call and I’ll come straight back.” She said standing and moving towards the door and going out of it.

Roman nodded and went upstairs and on to the bedroom. He lay next to her and put his arms around her pulling her to lie against him. He sighed into her hair before the first tears fell from his eyes

“Never scare me again like that.” He said angrily.

George made his way to the children’s room. He opened the door and saw Mike first. He walked over to him and whispered in his ear what had happened then held him as he felt him start to shake

He looked at Megan and Sophie and then his namesake Georgie and shook himself thinking about what they might all have lost tonight.