The Darkness

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 80

“Ella.” Roman called.

He was sitting by her side on the bed. Two days had passed since her attempted overdose and she had mostly slept. Rachel had checked on her throughout those past two days.

She blinked sleepily before finally opening her eyes.

His first words he had planned to be were I love you, wanting to let her know how much he cared for her and needed her instead he looked at her angrily and all the emotion he had been bottling up for the past feel days came out.

“How could you do that to me?” he almost snarled.

She flinched at his tone of voice but he took not notice.

“To us? To your children? To everyone who loves you? Damn you Ella you had no right to hurt us like that. What did we do to you that made you hate us?” he went on. More words followed but she shut them out unable to hear them.

Mike came in at the sound of the raised voice.

“Enough.” He shouted to Roman. “Can’t you see she’s had enough? What is this going to accomplish apart from make you feel better?”

He turned to her and sat on the bed.

“Mum.” He said softly to her.

She looked at him and burst into tears.

“I’m sorry.” she said to Mike. “I just wanted to sleep.” She told him.

Mike took his mum into his arms and held her.

Roman looked at them and shook his head wearily. He moved away from them and out of the door.

She pulled away from him.

“I took two of the tablets and nothing happened so I went to take two more.” She faltered.

“It’s ok.” Mike said softly.

She looked at him her eyes overflowing with tears.

“I split them and I didn’t want the children to get hold of them so I picked them up and I couldn’t remember taking them so I took more. I didn’t mean to do it but it just felt really clear for a moment so I took the rest of them and thought that I would just go to sleep and everything would go away.” She explained to him.

He nodded.

“I know you wouldn’t really want to leave us.” He said.

She nodded.

“But for a time I did Mike. I just wanted the pain to stop.”

“I know Mum. But the pain won’t stop that way. You know that.”

She nodded, crying once more.

“I thought if you didn’t have to deal with me and everything it would be ok. I think Louise has my baby and I brought her into the family.” She said. “So it’s my fault.”

He shook his head.

“It’s no ones fault Mum it just happened. You weren’t to know that this would happen were you?” he said logically. “There is no way you can control the actions of others. Just think how we would have turned out without you to guide us? You are the best mother. You’ve always put my needs above your own.” He paused and looked at her. “Don’t you think that I understand now that you would have come and found him sooner if you didn’t have to think about me.” He murmured referring to her and Roman.

She shook her head.

“It wasn’t the time.” she denied uncertainly.

He sighed before answering.

“And then I put myself out to meet him and you never told me about the baby you lost before I was even born.”

She looked at him in shock.

“Yes I knew, I figured it out Mum.” He confirmed. “You didn’t say anything but you knew that it would hurt, that seeing him again would be hard for you, no matter how it turned out. Suppose he was married and had a family? You would have had to see him with a child that wasn’t the one you had.” He said softly. “But you thought of me first and that makes you a good mother. So you need to stop this guilt business, ok?”

She flinched.

“Have you been reading psychology text books again?” she asked with a sniff.

He grinned.

“Not since you made me give that one back to Geoff.”

She looked at him and smiled.

“I am sorry Mike I won’t do anything so stupid again. I suppose I better go see if my husband has calmed down.”

He shook his head.

“It’s only been a few minutes I think you should give it longer.” He said to her. “Maybe in a couple of years?” he suggested.

She grinned.

“I hurt him a lot didn’t I?” she asked.

“You hurt all of us but I think it is nothing to how you were feeling to even think that was the best way out.” He told her.

She nodded slowly.

“I just couldn’t see past it.” she told him.

“I know.” He whispered. “I’ve been studying the effects of Rape.” He acknowledged slowly.

“See,” she gasped. “I’ve brought that word into our lives.”

He shook his head.

“It is not your fault Mum.” He denied. “You didn’t ask for it to happen.”

She shook her head fresh tears falling.

“But you shouldn’t be reading about that stuff you should be having a normal life.”

“Please!” he exclaimed. “What isn’t normal about my life. My mum is a free spirited hippie who travelled the world with a backpack and her camera when she was 17 and my dad is a secret agent. My twin siblings are going to take over the world and my stepsister is a Princess. I’m not sure what Megan is going to be but I suspect it will be something like Ninja assassin.” He looked at her a smirk on his face. “On top of that my brother is a doctor who likes cutting people up and I can’t tell you what my granddad does because then I would have to kill you.”

She grinned.

“Ninja assassin?” she questioned.

Mike stood up of the bed and rolled up the leg of his jeans to reveal a large bruise. He rolled the material down.

“My only hope is that when we get Sam back I can teach him the ways of Buddha and he goes after world peace.” He told her.

She looked quickly at him.

“That’s right Mum we are going to get him back.” He told her.

She nodded.

“I love you Mike.” She murmured.

“I know Mum, I sorta love you too, but I hope you never quote me!” he grinned suddenly.

She eased herself off the bed and stood feeling shaky. Mike came quickly around to the other side of the bed and helped her walked to the bathroom. He turned on the shower for her and left her to get cleaned up.

She stood letting the water wash away the past few days and slowly got circulation back in her body. She stepped out and dried herself quickly before slipping on the bathrobe. She walked into the bedroom and pushed open the window to let fresh air in before pulling off the sheets from the bed and putting them in the laundry. She turned and pulled out a simple dress and underwear pulling them on quickly before walking out of the room and collect fresh linen from the cupboard. She remade the bed and straightened up the room.

She knew she was putting off the moment she had to go downstairs and face everyone but she was nervous. Finally she could prevaricate no longer she turned and walked slowly down the stairs. She saw her father first and he merely held open his arms to her.

“Daddy.” She said and raced into them.

“Princess you aged me ten years.” He murmured softly into her hair,

She pulled back and looked at him.

“Good maybe now you’ll retire from the spy business and take up fishing with Alf.” She told him.

He grinned.

“Maybe I will surprise you one day.” He told her.

She looked round and saw Roman standing in the kitchen.

Her dad gave her a gentle push and she started walking towards him.

She slowed looking into his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” she told him softly.

He smiled slowly.

“I love you Ella. You would have ripped my heart out of me.” He murmured.

She put her arms around his neck

“I am sorry.” She told him again.

He put his arms around her slowly and held her lifting her off her feet and pressing her against him. He buried his face against her neck and she felt a shudder run though him.

“I love you.” She said. “I just didn’t feel strong enough for a time, and it seemed easier if you didn’t have to keep putting up with me.”

“It wouldn’t have been easy El, I would have fallen apart and I can’t be with the kids like you are. You are the best mother.”

She grinned slowly.

“People keep telling me that today.”

He pulled back his head and looked at her.

“It’s true. You took care of Nic and everyone when I was away even though you were dealing with Gardy. You held us all together afterwards. And when you found out you were pregnant after it happened you chose to look after the baby at the expense of your happiness, holding my hand until I came around. I know I hurt you then. But you were so gentle with me El. You never once held it against me. I love you so much for all the little things too. The way you put extra cheese on my toast and make sure that there is always a bottle of my favourite whisky in the house. The way you give me a back rub when you know I’ve had a hard day despite the fact you’ve been running around with the kids all day.” He paused and lowered her to her feet bending his head so he could kiss her.

She clung to him.

“I’m sorry.” she said against his lips.

He sighed and kissed her again.

“I love you El.” He whispered.

She pulled back and stroked the frown from his face.

“I love you.” She told him looking deep into his eyes.

“Come on the children need to see you.” He told her, even though selfishly he wanted to carry on holding her against him for a long time.

She nodded and he led her outside to the children.

Meggy saw her first and ran to her laughing. Then it was Georgie and Sophie.

“Mummy.” Sophie cried.

“Hey my babes.” She said laughing.

She went through the gate into their play area and bent low. The three children ran to her and knocked her over.

She laughed and kissed them all and held them.

Finally she looked up at Roman and held her hand to him. He knelt down behind her and put his arms around her.

“I love you.” She said to them all.

“Mummy.” Meggy said. “Happy.”

“She is now my sweet Meggy!” El said and kissed her again.

She turned and looked at him.

“We need to find our son.” She told him.

Roman nodded.

He leaned forward and kissed her.

“I need you tonight.” He said softly.

She looked at him.

“I can’t.” she whispered blushing.

“I know,” he said back. ”But I need to hold you and I really need you to hold me.” He said his voice hoarse with emotion. “I need to have your arms around me.”

She nodded, unable to speak for a moment.

“I’ll hold you all night I promise.” She whispered back to him.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 81

Roman woke up with her body pressed as close to his as they could make it. Her arms were wrapped around his neck. She pressed a kiss to the interesting hollows near his collarbone.

“Morning.” She said to him.

“Hello.” he replied.

“I have been waiting for you to wake up for ages.” She told him.

“Why?” He said.

“Because I really need to go use the bathroom and I didn’t want you to wake up without me.”

He grinned at her and pressed a kiss to her lips.

“I love you.” He couldn’t help saying.

She looked into his eyes.

“Me too.” She said hurriedly getting of the bed and racing into the en suite. She heard the sound of his laughter following her.

He sat up in bed when he heard her start crying.

“El.” He said and then vaulted out of the bed and raced into the bathroom. “Hey?” he asked.

“My milk.” She told him, haltingly.

He nodded and picked up her bathrobe from the back of the door and wrapped her in it.

“We’ll get Samuel back, I promise.” He said to her and kissed her.

She snuggled into him feeling the strength of his arms around her.

“I need..” she began.

He nodded quickly to stop her from having to finish the sentence and went into the nursery and fetched the breast pump. He knew he did it quietly but Sophie came through from the other room and looked at him

“Mummy.” She told him or asked him, he wasn’t sure which one it was but El was right and their eldest daughter was a witch.

“Hey Sophie it’s really early why don’t you go back to bed.” He suggested.

She turned and walked back to her bed and he took the pump through to Ella.

She had pulled herself together and stopped crying but he could tell she was still upset and he couldn’t blame her. He was pretty gutted too.

“Thank you.” She said to him.

“Let me hold you?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“El.” He said softly.

“I can’t Roman it hurts too much.” She kissed him. “I know that it affects you too but I need to do this alone.”

He left her to it and went and climbed back into bed. He started when the door opened and Sophie walked in followed by Georgie and then Meggy.

“And how did you get out of bed Meggy?” he asked her.

“Sophie.” She said to him with a giggle.

Roman laughed and helped them climb into bed. He was once again struck by all the stuff he had missed out on with Nic when she was small.

He looked up and saw Ella standing watching him.

“So who was it this time Sophie Nicole Harris?” she asked.

Sophie grinned and dived under the covers hiding.

“Your daughter Roman Harris.” She said grinning at him, and walked over to the bed. She shrugged off the dressing gown and climbed into bed with them.

He looked over at her a question mark in his eyes.

She kissed him gently on the lips and her hand found his. They looked at each other for a moment.

“She’s your daughter.” He said quietly. “She knew that you were upset.”

El smiled at him.

“Megan Hope Harris where are you?” El said softly. “Coming ready or not.” She added and ducked under the covers to tickle the children.

“Georgie Joseph Harris!” she said. “Not you too.”

Roman grinned as he heard his son giggle.

He went under the covers too and helped tickle the children before tickling El.

“Hey.” She said laughing.

She lay back and Sophie joined in before she could stop her.

“No fair.” El muttered. “Meggy tickle daddy.”

“No not Meggy” he said having to catch his daughter as she launched herself at him and started tickling.

“Georgie help Mummy.” She said and lifted Sophie off and turned to tickle Roman.

Mike walked to their bedroom stopping in the doorway and laughed. George walked up behind him already dressed.

“Tickle…” Mike started to say.

“Wars.” His granddad finished. “Who do you think started them?” he asked with a grin. He skirted Mike and went into the bedroom and went over to Ella. He found her foot sticking out of the bed and he tickled her.

“Daddy no!” she shrieked, twisting away “Not the feet.”

He continued to tickle her.

She pulled away and pushed the covers down.

“That was unfair we agreed no feet.” She said to him grinning. “Under the terms of the Geneva Convention tickling of the feet was prohibited.” She muttered and heard Roman laughing.

“Feet huh?” he asked George.

George nodded.

“No.” she said to Roman.

Mike walked over to the bed and pulled the covers off the bed.

“No.” she said to him. “Not the feet,”

“Whickle wars.” Georgie said.

“Georgie help Mummy.” She said, quickly trying to leap off the bed.

Roman caught her and held her while Mike and George each grabbed a foot and tickled her. She started laughing unable to stop.

Georgie laughed and climbed on to her lap.

“I am so never having S E X with you again Roman Harris.” She shrieked, barely catching her breath in-between laughing. “Roman Michael Addison Harris you are now grounded until you are 21.”

“What you going to threaten me with?” George asked his daughter.

”Back pay of my allowance.” She suggested.

“How about 30 years of birthday presents.” Mike suggested bitterly, showing he was still angry.

“She can’t.” George said but he sat heavily on the side of the bed.

“He bought me presents Mike.” She told him softly and watched as Mike sat on the bed too. “My first Camera, a gold locket, a set of Russian dolls. There was always something every time he went away.”

She moved until she was kneeling next to Mike and she touched his face gently.

“He always took me out for treats too. Do you think I would have called my son Georgie if he were bad to me?” she asked Mike gently.

She opened her arms to him and held Mike for a time.

Roman leaned forward and stroked her back.

Sophie eased her way between them.

“Mikey.” She said and hugged him.

Meggy and Georgie crawled onto Roman’s lap and he held them.

El pulled back and looked at her Dad.

“If you go into the wardrobe over there you’ll find a storage box on the very top shelf.” She said to him.

He nodded and fetched it for her placing it on the bed.

She moved back and sat against the pillows tucking her legs under her and opened the box. She took off the top layer of tissue paper and looked into it. She took out a 35mm Camera and handed it to Mike. Then a jewellery box and passed that over. She put her hand in and lifted up a wooden box. She opened that and looked at the medals she had won at school for gymnastics before closing it. She pulled out the set of Russian dolls and handed them to Sophie.

“I would buy her dolls and teddy’s and they would go missing so after the I found that if I bought her stuff I would notice was gone that she couldn’t come up with an excuse about it” He stopped.

“It’s ok Daddy.” El said to him and reached out to squeeze his hand.

She reached into the box and pulled out a small tissue wrapped object before putting the lid back on and passing it to Mike.

“I always felt loved just not by her.” she confessed. “Here take it Mike. Its proof.” She took a breath. ”When I left he rescued this stuff and held on to for all these years.” She told him.

He picked up the box and took it with him.

“Daddy give him some time.” she said softly as he too turned to leave.

He nodded.

“I think I may go to the diner for some breakfast.” He said.

She smiled at him.

“Tell Irene I said hello.” She murmured and saw a hint of colour flash on her dad’s cheeks before he left the room.

“Now then my lovelies. Is it time for breakfast?” she asked the children.

Sophie looked up from the collection of Russian dolls she had round her.

“Breakfast.” She said.

“Narnas.” Meggy said.

El giggled.

“Narna monster.” She said.

Meggy screwed up her face and growled.

“That is scary.” Roman said.

“Hear that Meggy, Daddy is scared of the Narna monster!” she told her daughter.

Meggy laughed.

“Silly daddy.” She giggled.

He pressed a kiss to her and then Sophie and then Georgie, lifting them all down to the floor before he turned to Ella.

“Hey you.” He said softly.

She grinned at him and put her arms around his neck.

He held her for a long moment before Sophie came back in and stood looking at them her hands on her hips.

“Don’t look now but your daughter wants a word with you.” She giggled as she told him.

He turned and saw Sophie.

“I knew I should have stopped Nic babysitting.” He muttered.

She kissed him again before finding her bathrobe and pulling it on.

“See Sophie I’m coming.” El told her daughter.

She took them down stairs and put the tv on for them while she started breakfast. Roman joined her after a time and she kissed him.

“Do you want some coffee?” he asked her.

She nodded.

“Just one cup.” She grinned.

He smiled back at her before his face fell.

She moved quickly and put her arms round him.

“Don’t sweetie,” she said softly.

“I know.” He said.

He put his hands on either side of her face and looked into her eyes before he kissed her.

“I need our son back too.” He told her.

She nodded.

“We’ll get him back.” She said gently.

She held him for a long time.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 82

Pete and Jacko walked in through the door.

“Lax security.” Pete commented. “I thought we taught our girl better than that.”

“Who are you calling your girl?” Roman asked from behind them.

“Hardcore!” Pete said grinning at him.

The two men shook hands and Roman showed them through to the back. He got them all some coffee and sat with them. After a time Ella joined them.

Roman watched as she hugged both of the men.

“Jacko why aren’t you off somewhere hot and sandy?” she asked him.

He grinned at her.

“Seems the army don’t want me anymore.” He told her.

She grinned at him.

“More likely they couldn’t figure out what to do with you!” she chuckled at him.

“I’ve joined up with Pete and James.” He said to her. “I hope you don’t mind.”

She shook her head.

“Hang on why exactly would she mind?” Roman asked quickly.

She looked at the decking below her feet and avoided the question.

“You own their agency?” he asked his voice strangled.

“No.” she said. “Well not totally, just a small part of it, they were at a loose end so I…” she trailed off.

Pete grinned at his old friend.

“Ella lent me the money to start up and we gave her some of the company because she wouldn’t let us pay her back.” He explained. “Of course she also thought up the idea and dragged us together.”

“So the pansy assed celebs you were looking after was when you were part of this outfit?” he asked Jacko.

Jacko grinned.

Ella moved restlessly hoping he wouldn't put the next bit together.

“Found out where I was?” he quoted a conversation with Jacko.

El found herself going red.

“She had you search for me?” he asked looking at her.

She turned to Jacko.

“Did you happen to tell him anything else while you were over there having your cosy chats?” she muttered.

She tucked her legs under her and snuggled back in the chair.

“And how long did you have my address before you came to see me?” he asked her.

She looked at him.

“Two years.” She said finally.

“That would have been when..” he stopped and looked at them.

“Yeah that would have been when I sacked my detectives because they had your address but didn’t actually find out you were in prison.” She said and watched as Pete and Jacko shifted uncomfortably.

“Hardcore if we knew that we wouldn’t have let you stay there.” Pete told him.

“And why exactly did you wait two years?” he asked her.

“Well I was engaged to another man and I wanted to know you were ok but I wasn’t planning to come and see you.” She looked at him.

He sat back in his chair and looked at them folding his arms across his chest as he did so.

“You thought that they might come to me didn’t you?” he asked her and saw Jacko look down at his booted feet.

“I expected someone to pop up and say hello, just not necessarily me.” She confessed with a glare at Jacko and Pete. “And then when I did it was like the intervening years hadn’t happened.” She added softly.

He grinned at her.

She smiled back.

“So back to the subject. Our Son.” she said.

“We’ve got a copy of the surveillance tapes and we are looking at them. And we have run a background check on Louise.” Pete told her.

She looked at him.

“I’m not going to like this bit.” She said.

Jacko nodded.

“She visited Gardy the day before he escaped.” Jacko told her.

She gasped feeling like someone had psychically hit her.

Roman reached out to her and she clutched hold of his hand squeezing it.

“The day before?” she asked.

Jacko nodded.

“How did he escape?” she said needing to know suddenly. “Oh my god she didn’t help him did she?”

Jacko couldn’t meet her eyes.

“ ‘What am I going to do if the baby is a boy?’ ” She quoted. “You don’t think they arranged it …..” she began her voice rising hysterically.

Roman reached over and picked her up pulling her on to his lap and putting his arms around her feeling her shake.

“No.” Jacko told her but she didn’t see the look they shared. “We’re convinced that it’s just a coincidence.” He added.

She looked over at him.

“Liar.” She told him.

Jacko looked at Pete.

“I told you she would see right through me.”

Pete grinned for a second before getting serious again.

“She told you that he threatened her family but Louise was an orphan.” Pete told her.

“No that’s not right.” Ella said.

Pete nodded confirmation as she looked at him.

“She was in foster care for most of her life” Jacko said.

Ella stood up.

She looked at them.

“I’m sorry I can’t hear anymore I need to go be with my children. “ she turned to Roman and touched his hand before she walked away. He watched her go.

“She took an overdose a few days ago with all the Gardy stuff coming back again on top of this, she just couldn’t cope. So I would really like it if you can help us find our son because I don’t think she can keep going much longer.” His voice broke.

“Hardcore.” Jacko said in sympathy and moved over to sit next to him. He placed his hand on the other man’s shoulder and they sat in silence for a while.

Ella went into the nursery for the first time. She saw the cot they had got ready for her son and for the first time she didn’t feel the pit of anguish enfold her. Her friends were downstairs and they would find her son so she knew she had to stay positive.

She looked round and saw her children playing. Meggy saw her fist and toddled over to her.

“Hey sweet girl.” She said.

She picked her up and moved over to where they were sitting.

“What are we playing?” she asked them.

“Tea party.” Georgie said.

“Ok and can I play?” she asked.

“Cookies.” Meggy told her.

She grinned.

“Shall I go get cookies or shall we go make some?” she asked.

“Make.” Sophie told her.

She stood up and started walking out with them following her. They went down the stairs and into the kitchen.

She put on their aprons and gave them a wooden spoon each.

She started making a big batch of cookies them put small amounts of the mixture into small bowls and handed it to them to play with. She looked up when Angel and Robbie came rushing into the kitchen followed by Nic and Geoff.

“Hello.” She said.

Nic took one look at her and rushed over and put her arms around her.

”Its ok Nic.” She told her softly, her eyes meeting with Geoff’s.

“We were trying to give you guys time but Nic was reaching the point where she couldn’t sit still anymore.” He told them.

“Roman is outside. Do you want to go and say hello?” she asked him and saw him nod. “Take some beer with you.” She said.

He nodded gratefully.

“Nic please let go of me now.” She said to her daughter.

Nic pulled back and looked at her.

“You ever do anything like that again and I will do something nasty.” She warned. “I haven’t quite figured out what yet but you won’t like it ok.”

She smiled at her and led her over to the sofa and sat her down holding her again as she burst into tears.

“Sh, it’s ok Nic. I was just feeling really bad and for a minute I though that was what I wanted but it’s not I want to be with you and your Dad and all the children.” She told her.

She wiped the tears from her cheeks and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“I love you Nicole and I am so sorry I let it all get too much. I promise I will never do anything so silly again." She told her.

“You are my mum you know that don’t you?” she asked finally. “I am never going to forget all the stuff you have done for me.”

“Well don’t you dare list it or your dad will come in and find us both sobbing.” She told her. “Now how about you help us make cookies?” she added and took hold of her hand and led her into the kitchen to help.

Sophie walked outside and handed her daddy a plate of cookies.

“Thank you Sophie.” He said to her.

She grinned at him and then turned and smiled at Pete and Jacko and he chuckled at his daughter.

He saw El and the rest of them coming out with more beers. She handed them out and sat next to him. The children followed and they picked up extra cookies on the way to their play area. Nic walked with them and made sure the gate was shut securely before she went and sat next to Geoff.

“I’ve texted Aden to see if he wants to come over.” She told Roman. “We might as well make a night of it.”

He caught hold of her hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Where is the Colonel?” Jacko asked.

She grinned.

“I think my Dad is trying to work up the nerve to ask someone out.” She told him.

Nic looked at her.

“Irene?” she asked.

El nodded.

“About time.” she said.

Roman and Geoff exchanged looks.

She grinned at him and put her arm around him rubbing his back.

“While you are here Jacko do you think you can take this one running he needs some exercise.”

“Oi.” Roman muttered. “First of I am right here and heard that. Second what am I a pet dog? And third I’m fitter than you.”

She looked at him.

“I’ve just given birth I have an excuse. When is your baby due?”

He looked down.

“I haven’t put on any weight.” He denied.

She raised her eyebrows as she looked at him.

“Well not much.” He grinned.

Jacko laughed at them.

“What are we going to do?” Roman asked and she knew he meant feeding everyone.

She shrugged.

“Chinese takeaway and lots of beer.” She suggested. “Guys?” she asked them.

“Sounds good to us.” Jacko answered.

Roman looked over at his eldest daughter.

“Yeah, Geoff?” she asked him and he nodded.

“I’ll go get a menu in a bit.” She told them.

Roman looked over at her and smiled looking into her eyes. The shadow of unhappiness remained in them and he knew he would do anything to take it away.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 83

Ella had been awake for ages, she watched the dancing shadows on the ceiling eventually she climbed out of the bed slowly being careful not to wake Roman. She pulled on her bathrobe and walked down the stairs. Pouring out a large glass of orange juice she went into the lounge and saw the folder on the table. She went over to it knowing it was the dossier on Louise. She sat down and stated reading.

After a time she stood up and went into the laundry room and dug out some clothes from the dryer. She pulled them on, then found a pair of shoes, pulling them on too, before she grabbed her keys and went out the door. She opened the door and slipped out and climbed behind the wheel of her car and started it up hoping that no one would hear it she set off slowly down the gravel drive.

She drove for a while before she had to pull over and dig out the map to double check where she was heading before setting off again. She swore when she realised that she had left her phone behind.

She pulled up, seeing a long dusty track ahead of her she switched off the engine and climbed out of the car. A glance at her watch revealed it was still really early. She started walking toward the shack trying to be as quiet as possible. It was wooden with a tin roof. The windows boarded up. At one time it had been painted white but now that was peeling and faded.

She looked in a gap in the boarding through the window and saw Louise in a bed. Moving quietly along the old wooden veranda she tried the door handle, it was unlocked so she opened it hearing the un-oiled hinges squeak in protest.

Louise stirred briefly before she woke up. She sat up and gasped.

“Louise it’s Ella.” She said softly.

She saw Louise’s eyes dart to the makeshift cot in the corner.

“It’s alright Louise.” She murmured. “I just need to talk to you for a bit.”

Louise looked at her.

“You can’t take him.” she said.

“I have to Louise, he’s mine. We need him.”

“You can have others. I can’t.”

“I’m sorry Louise but he is my son and I need him. I’m broken inside without him, You know what that feels like don’t you?” Ella asked the other woman.

Louise started crying.

Ella went over to her and put her arms around her.

“Tell me Louise.” She said quietly. “The day I saw you at the hospital.”

“Rachel told me that I couldn’t have children and I saw you, pregnant again.” She sobbed. “I thought you were so lucky.”

Ella pulled away.

“Lucky?” she said bitterly.

“You have the perfect man and the perfect family.” Louise said to her.

Ella looked at her for a very long moment without saying anything,

“I found out three days ago that my father, my real father is a rapist. He raped my mother and she beat me as revenge.” Ella muttered. “And I’ve been so depressed that I tried to kill myself.”

Louise gasped.

“Why did you visit him?” Ella asked her standing up and pacing.

“Because I felt strong enough to look him in the eye and tell him what I thought of him. How did you know?” Louise started crying.

Ella sat on the only chair in the place and looked over at her.

“The team of detectives we have found it out. They think you and him were in league.”

Louise stood up and started pacing.

“No.” she gasped wringing her hands together.

“He escaped only days after that.” Ella told her.

Louise looked at her.

“He’s out.” She moaned sickly.

Ella shook her head.

“He came after me and was shot. He’s buried in Yabbie Creek cemetery.” She took a deep breath. “You said he threatened your family.” She prompted.

“My foster family. They disowned me after…” she looked at her. “They found out you see.” She said distractedly. “Is he really dead?” she asked.

Ella nodded.

Louise started to cry.

“I’m free.” She said.

“Louise, please tell me about your family.” Ella asked her needing the answers.

She fell to the floor and looked up.

“They found out about the abortion and they disowned me. They are catholic.” She started sobbing and laughing at the same time.

Ella knelt by her and put her arms round her.

“I’m sorry.” She said to her.

They both looked up when the baby started crying.

Louise moaned sickly.

“I need him home with us.” Ella said to her.

Louise shook her head and moved away towards him.

Ella caught hold of her and turned her to face her.

“If you keep him Louise my husband and I will fall apart. You will never be safe anywhere you go. You will be hunted like a criminal wherever you go. Is that the kind of life you want?” She asked her. “Is that what you want for him?”

Louise looked at her and she shook her head moaning.

“He is my son Louise, I need to feed him and take care of him and if you keep him then you take him away from his brothers and sisters. We love him. We loved him from the moment he was conceived.”

Louise pulled away and looked at the baby.

“Shall I tell you about that night Louise? My husband came home from the hospital. Gardy had shot him and he nearly died. I had nearly died. But he came home and he spilled himself inside me and said he wished we could make a baby.” She said to the other woman, tears gathering in her eyes. “And we called him Samuel meaning Gift from God and Raphael meaning healing.” She looked at her. “Because we were healed Louise and you took him away from us and I don’t know if we can make it if you keep him.”

Louise fell to her knees again and began crying.

“I’m sorry.” She moaned.

“I know. “ Ella said softly and walked over to him.

She picked up her son from the makeshift cot and cradled him.

“Hey Samuel.” She whispered to him.

“What is going to happen to me?” Louise asked after a time.

“I’m going to take you home with me and we will talk.” Ella told her.

Louise nodded.

She took hold of her hand and led her to her car. She opened up the rear door and Louise climbed in. Ella was struck by the image of a broken doll as she watched the other woman and she sympathised having felt that way herself just a few says ago. She opened the passenger side and placed the baby in the car seat before walking around the front of the car and getting behind the wheel.

She kept her eyes on Louise in the back, via the rear-view mirror, growing more and more concerned by her. She had her head down and she hadn’t stopped crying.

Eventually pulling up outside her house she heard the sounds of Chaos coming from inside. Roman pulled open the door and ran to the car.

“Hey.” She said to him, climbing out of the car.

She walked round and opened the passenger door and picked up their son. He gasped as he saw them together.

“El?” he asked.

She nodded grinning at him.

He took a step towards them.

She held out the baby to him and he took him in his arms.

“Oh God Ella. I was so worried when we couldn’t find you this morning.” He moaned. She put her arms around his waist.

“I’m sorry for scaring you.” She pressed a kiss to his lips. “I promised I will never…” she began.

“I know I don’t need a promise.” He told her

She smiled slowly.

“But I was scared ok.” he grinned.

He shifted the baby in his arms, making sure his head was supported and put one arm around her pulling her close to him.

“Louise needs help.” she told him.

He nodded and walked them inside.

“Jacko.” He called and waited while the other man came out of the kitchen. “Louise is in the car can you help her in and call a doctor for her.”

Jacko nodded and went outside.

“Pete can you call Charlie and tell her.” Roman instructed the other man.

He sat down on the sofa and unwrapped the blanket around his son and looked him over. She grinned as she watched him.

“He’s ok?” He asked her.

She nodded.

“I didn’t get much chance to check.” She grinned. “I want to change him and put him in our clothes.” She murmured.

He smiled at her.

She sighed.

He leaned over and kissed her.

She looked at him.

He handed the baby to her and she curled up in Roman’s arms. Rachel and Charlie found them like that a long time after.

“Hello.” Charlie said to them.

”Hey.” Ella said.

“Can I take a look at him?” Rachel asked her.

She nodded.

“He hasn’t cried.” She said worriedly.

“El, take him to the nursery.” Roman suggested. “The other children are still up there.”

She nodded and led Rachel up the stairs to the nursery. She lay him on the changing table and stood back while Rachel examined him.

“El he’s fine.” She said after a few minutes.

She nodded.

“Can I bath him?” she asked.

Rachel nodded and packed up her bag and went downstairs.

Ella grinned and looked round where the other children were waiting patiently.

“Hey guys.” She called to them and they moved closer.

Megan walked over to her and she bent down and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek.

“Are you going to help Mummy with the new baby?” she asked them.

She collected the things she needed and picked up Sam and took him through to the bathroom. She turned on the tap and put the plug in the bath, half filling it. She tested the water and lowered the baby into it. He let out a scream and she sighed in relief at hearing that cry. She bathed him clean before lifting him out and wrapping him in a soft towel and taking him back through to the nursery. The other children watching quietly.

She placed a clean nappy on him and put him in new clothes. She sat in the rocking chair and cradled him in her arms for a time. He started crying again so she nursed him. Tears falling down her face as he fed. It was a struggle to put him in his cot afterwards but she knew that she needed to get him into a routine and make them all secure.

She led Megan and the other children down the stairs and out into the garden, giving them each a reassuring kiss and cuddle.

“Alright?” Roman asked her from the kitchen.

She nodded.

“Charlie will be round later to take a statement. Rachel has organised for Louise to go into hospital.”

She nodded again.

He opened his arms and she went over to him.

“I love you.” He said to her. “ Next time you go off on a secret mission …” he stopped.

She looked at him.

“Roman I feel like I should apologise but I’m not sure that you will accept it. I think you want to be mad at me because I did this and you didn’t. And I’m not sorry because I found our son and brought him home.”

He shook his head.

“I’m more mad that if she was in league with Gardy then you may have been hurt.” He told her in a clipped voice.

She went through the archway and sat at the table.

He followed her and sat next to her.

“I didn’t think like that. Maybe I should have done. I didn’t plan to go. But it felt right.”

“You didn’t even take your phone with you.” He muttered.

She nodded.

He stood and started pacing.

“What if you’d got into trouble.”

She grinned.

“That’s why I have a hero husband.” She murmured.

“No you don’t.” he grouched. “You do not try and joke me out of being mad at you.”

She looked at him.

“Well I can’t have sex with you for another 6 weeks.”

He stopped pacing and looked at her. After a minute a slow grin appeared on his face and he held open his arms to her.

“I am sorry you were worried. I do take your concern seriously but I got a feeling about where they were and I needed to check it out.” She whispered. “I love you Roman.”

She went into his arms and clung to him.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 84

Ella pulled up outside the diner. She helped out Georgie and Sophie first then Megan and finally Sam. The first three walked into the diner unaided but she carried Sam in his car seat. He was still asleep and she was tempted, just a small part of her was tempted to wake him up to see how he liked it. Which was the reason why she had come out to get herself a coffee.

“Hey Darl.” Irene greeted her.

She grinned.

“Is he here?” she asked.

Roman stuck his head out of the kitchen at the sound of her voice.

“Hey you I thought I left you sleeping.”

She smiled slowly.

“Yes you did but you didn’t remove your son and bring him to work with you.”

He chuckled.

“Coffee?” he asked her and she nodded.

“Now Irene come and tell me all about your date last night. When it comes to secrets my dad is worse than me.” She murmured softly to the other woman.

Irene blushed.

“Get away with you. It wasn’t a date.” She denied.

Ella chuckled. And led the other woman over to the long sofa with her.

Sophie and Meggy were already sitting on it and she pulled out a couple of books from the diaper bag and handed them to the girls to look at. She put Sam gently on the table in front of them and looked round for Georgie, only to see Roman leading their other son out of the kitchen.

She and Irene looked at each other and grinned.

Roman placed two coffees on the table, one for Irene and then one for Ella and returned a moment later with milkshakes for the three children.

“Do you want some lunch while you are here?” he asked her.

She grinned at him and nodded. He disappeared back into the kitchen.

“So your date.” Ella said.

“Strike me.” Irene muttered. “You are worse than Colleen.”

Ella grinned.

“I think you’ll find me a wonderful stepdaughter.” She said gently.

Irene had been taking a sip of her coffee and she choked coughing.

“One date and you have us married off.” She muttered when she could talk again.

She looked at the other woman.

“It may be one date for you but it’s the first date my father has had since my Mum died.” Ella told her.

“So no pressure there then.” Irene muttered.

Ella grinned at her.

“You don’t think he hangs around because he likes diaper duty do you?” she asked Irene.

The other woman shook her head.

“I like him Ella, don’t get me wrong, but my track record with blokes is, well not very good to say the least.”

“Then time for a change. Enjoy seeing my Dad. I’ll reign him in if he gets too romantic for you.”

Irene grinned.

“I wouldn’t want you to do that I’m kind of enjoying the romance.” She confessed with a sheepish grin.

Ella chuckled.

“Irene it’s up to you where you want this to go but for my money I think you and my Dad would make a wonderful couple and I would love to see the both of you happy.”

Irene looked at her and blinked away the suspicious moisture in her eyes.

“You are incorrigible.” She muttered and stood up to walk back into the kitchen.

Roman came out a while later and sat with her.

She put her hand in his and looked at him.

“Lunch won’t be long.” He told her.

She smiled at him.

“What have you been up to today?” he asked the children.

Sophie looked at him.

“We came here.” She told him.

He grinned.

“Can we go beach?” Georgie asked.

“Sorry Little man we don’t have our beach gear with us. “ Ella told him. “But if you are lucky I’ll get the pool out when we get home.”

He pouted for a minute before nodding.

Roman grinned at his family before he stood and fetched their lunch out of the kitchen. He put it on the table in front of them and grinned at El when she smiled at him. He smiled back and sat next to her.

Georgie went over to him and he lifted his son on his lap. He picked up the plate and helped him eat a sandwich.

El grinned at them and reached for her own toasted sandwich, taking a bite before helping Meggy and Sophie.

“What do you want to do later?” Roman asked her.

She smiled.

“I don’t know. I was thinking we should start thinking about a big girl bed for Meggy so I might go shopping.”

He looked over at Meggy.

“Do you want a big girl bed like Sophie?” he asked her.

Their youngest daughter smiled at him and nodded her mouth full of sandwich.

He laughed softly.

“How were you thinking of doing their room?” he asked her.

She looked at him.

“I thought about turning the rooms around and putting Sam in the other bit and bringing their beds into the nursery. It’s a bigger room. They can still have room to play.”

He chuckled at her.

“Its good to talk about normal stuff.” He smiled at her.

“Yup, another year and these two will be at school then Meggy at Creche.”

“Counting the days?” he asked her.

She looked at him.

“Oh yes.” She told him.

“That’s funny because Mike told me a story about his first day at school…” Roman began.

Ella blushed.

“It didn’t happen like he said. And anyway he might have needed me.”

Roman laughed at her and put his arm around her shoulders. He leaned over and whispered in her ear.

“We could always have more babies.”

She gave him a look.

“No. And did I mention you will be sleeping in the spare room from now on.” She told him firmly.

He grinned at her.

“Just checking.” He said.

She shook her head.

“This is what I want just us. Now we’ve put all the darkness behind us.” She said softly.

He pulled her closer and kissed her.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Epilogue

William walked slowly towards the graveside. If somebody were looking at him now they would describe as tall with dark hair and a dark beard. Although they couldn’t see his eyes because of the dark sunglasses he was wearing, they were brown. It was a beautiful sunny day. The birds were singing and he could see a scattering of wild flowers in the grass below his feet as he stepped carefully through the cemetery.

He took in the simple stone and read the words. The grass had grown over the disturbed earth and covered it with a blanket of green. He liked to think of it like that, a blanket keeping him warm. Gardy had never liked being cold not even when they were kids together. He re read the words on the headstone and wondered who had commissioned it. They were so simple, just giving his name and dates of birth and finally his date of death. He looked up in the sky, startled out of his train of thought by a wild bird taking off from nearby him. He put the sunglasses back on that covered his eyes and made his way back to his car.

It was time to take a trip into Summer Bay and find out who had murdered his twin brother.

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