Remembrance of Time

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 11

Ella paced the lounge restlessly waiting for her father to turn up.

Roman chuckled at her earning a glare.

“You should be in bed.” She told him.

“Yes, you keep saying that but you won’t come with me.” He said back.

She groaned.

“Behave yourself.” She muttered.

He smiled at her and eased back against the cushions of the sofa.

“They should be here by now.” She said and looked at her watch.

“El calm down.” Roman murmured.

“I can’t. To you it’s like a few weeks but to me it’s been years.” She sat next to him for a second before standing back up and pacing.

“You and your dad are ok. He’s been here for you though some tough times. “

She looked at him in shock and he cursed.

“Ok I officially take that last bit back.” He said quickly.

She shook her head.

“Roman it’s so frustrating.” She muttered.

He grinned.

“And you don’t think it’s the same for us?” he asked her.

He started coughing and she went over to him and held his hand.

“Trying to keep me calm?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

She smiled.

“I want you to go see Rachel tomorrow and get this checked out ok.” she told him.

“I thought I was coughing much better with all the practice I’m getting.”

“Yeah not funny.” She sighed. “Look what is the worst that can happen if you just tell me what happened.”

He grinned at her.

“Well violence and a headache to start with. And then Aden will kill me.”

“Probably to make up for you punching him.” she muttered.

She stood up and started pacing again not seeing the look on his face.

“Yes well I did go mad at him.” Roman said softly.

“Yes and in front of everyone too.” She sighed again. “It’s not like we planned it or anything. That hurt me you know.” She told him.

He bit his lip to stop him saying anything for a moment then looked over at her.

“Hurt?” he asked.

“Well yes.” She murmured. “All the guilt and being so scared to show affection to him. And then you would just look at me and it would all start again even though I told you the full truth of what happened.” She sat next to him. “You doubting me, making me feel dirty and guilty.”

“So you did.” He said. “It was just a shock.”

“But you’d already guessed. And anyway.” She trailed off and looked at him.

She stood up shakily and ran upstairs to the bathroom. He heard her being sick as he followed her at a more sedate pace.

“Hey.” He said.

She was keeling by the toilet.

“Aden.” She said. “It was Aden.”

He nodded.

“And we are still together?” she asked.

“Well not you an Aden obviously.” He grinned.

She started crying.

“How could I?” she said bitterly.

He knelt beside her

“Because you were pregnant and lonely and needed some comfort and it flared up. It was a kiss El and I forgave you because I love you.” He told her.

She looked at him and pressed a hand to her stomach.

“And what is my excuse now?” she muttered. “I went out and got pregnant and I don’t even know if the baby is yours.”

He flinched at her saying the words that had been at the front of his mind for the past couple of weeks.

“I’m sorry you felt so bad El. I guess I only looked at my hurt feelings.” He said softly.

She looked at him,

“And this baby?” she forced herself to ask.

“I don’t know. I love you but I just don’t know. I need you to remember, as much as you need to.” He sighed and wet a face cloth bringing it over to her. He sat by her and wiped her face and looked into her eyes.

“I know we can though lots of stuff El, lots of bad stuff because we love each other,”

She looked at him too.

“Sorry.” She said. “But if this baby isn’t yours I can’t stay with you.”

He grinned and she glared at him.

“Yes you can because I’ll love the baby because it is part of you.” He told her. “I’ll never treat the baby any different you know.”

She shook her head.

“No I won’t risk it.” she said to him. “Besides it isn’t fair.”

He nodded and lent back against the side of the bath.

“Bed.” She said sternly.

He nodded.

She eased up and moved towards him holding out her hand.

“Sure, like you are in a fit state.” He grouched.

He stood up slowly and she took hold of his hand and led him into the bedroom.

“I always love it when you do that. Only maybe next time can you do it when I’m feeling a bit better.” He smiled at her and undressed before he climbed into bed.

She pressed a kiss to his forehead and pulled the covers up.

“Get some sleep.” She told him.

He smiled groggily and was asleep before she left the room.

She moved down the stairs and sat on the bottom step for a time before going into the lounge and lifting out the photo albums. She went through them year by year seeing the children grow up in the small pictures. She saw Mike gaining inches in each shot, as he grew taller. She saw her dad feature in some. She didn’t remember the occasions, Birthday parties and Christmas. She sighed and went further back to Nic’s wedding, the second one. She remembered the dress that Nic had surprised her with and knew somehow that she still had it upstairs in the wardrobe. She turned the page and saw a picture of her with the twins. She was pregnant with Meggy, she now knew but there weren’t any of her and Roman not until the later stage of her pregnancy.

She sighed and closed the book before the remembrance of what he’d told her upstairs just a little while ago struck her. She opened the album again and looked some more. There were none of her and Roman during that pregnancy.

She started crying. Of course he could love the baby if it wasn’t his. He was already doing it. Meggy wasn’t his child.

She crawled over to the sofa and lay on it the album in her arms. The flashback the other day came to her mind. She had had her attacker’s child. She looked at a picture of Meggy again and started crying.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 12

Ella went for a walk along the beach. At her request Roman had moved into the spare bedroom again. Her father and Irene had left the day before after staying for two weeks, and she had enjoyed getting to know him all over again. And she adored seeing Irene so happy.

“Hey.” Miles called to her walking towards her.

“Hey yourself.” She smiled at him.

“How are you? Because I have to say you look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.” He grinned at her.

She took a breath ready to answer him and instead burst into tears.

“Hey.” He said rushing over to her and putting his arms around her.

“It’s all gone wrong and I don’t know how to fix it.” she said to him sobbing.

Hey led them away form the sea front and sat down pulling her gently down to sit next to him.

“Now why don’t you tell Uncle Miles all about it.” He said to her.

She sniffed and reached into her pocket for a tissue and wiped at her overflowing eyes.

“El?” he prompted.

“I need a divorce.” She said.

His head snapped back.

“Woah!” he murmured. “Have you spoken to Roman?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“I know he won’t let me but I only remember half of our lives together. It’s not fair.” She told him.

“Not fair on whom?” Miles asked softly.

“Both of us.” She replied immediately.

He looked at her and waited.

“What if I would react a different way to a situation if I were my normal self and I don’t know because I only remember the good stuff?” she pointed out logically.

He nodded.

“Like Martha?” he asked and saw her nod.

“The first time I’m like I want a divorce and the second time I’m like, oh yeah ok then, and sleeping with him again five minutes later.”

Miles blushed.

“Ok, thanks for the extra detail there.” He said and a stain of colour went along her cheekbones.

“Well.” She muttered lowering her head.

He grinned.

“I think if you keep thinking about what happened before you’ll lose sight of what you have. Think about the kids.”

She flinched and more tears flowed.

“I am thinking about them. That is why I need to leave.” She stated. “They are better off with Roman right now.”

He smiled slowly at her.

“Look, why don’t you come home with me and we’ll have a drink and talk some more.” He suggested.

She shook her head but then put her hand in her pocket and pulled out her phone.

“Checking up on you?” he asked.

She nodded.

Miles held out his hand and answered her phone.

“Hey mate, El is a bit busy right now. We’re having a drink.” Miles said into the phone.

“Miles?” Roman queried. “Is she ok?”

“Yeah, no problem. She’ll see you later.” He told the other man and hung up.

He handed El her phone back and she gave him a sad little smile.

“You might want to switch that off for a while.” He suggested pulling out his phone and already seeing the text message icon on the screen. He switched it off with out reading it and took hold of her hand and pulled her to her feet before they walked slowly back to his house.

She sighed.

He led her over to the sofa and she sat down while he made them a drink. He stood his back to her and pulled out his phone and read the message.

“How is she?”

He looked at the three words and knew that things obviously weren’t good at all.

He put his phone away without replying and turned round to ask El something and saw that she had fallen asleep. He stopped making the drinks and went over to her.

“El.” He said shaking her gently. “Go upstairs and lay down.”

She nodded and he helped her up from the sofa and showed her up the stairs and into his spare room. She kicked off her shoes and climbed under the cover. She was asleep before he even left the room, worn out from all the stress.

He went back downstairs and out the back with his drink. He sipped it slowly and looked out before Roman joined him.

“Didn’t take you long.” He said softly.

“You knew it wouldn’t.” he murmured folding his arms across his chest. “Where is she?”

“She’s asleep.” Miles said.

Roman nodded.

“She paces the floor at night.”

“So you are back in the spare room.” Miles worked out.

Roman nodded.

“And count myself lucky I’m still in the house. She’s been pushing me away for the last two weeks and I can’t work out why or get her to talk to me.” He said softly.

“Then you aren’t going to like this bit.” Miles murmured.

He drained his coffee and looked at the other man.

“She wants a divorce.”

Roman nodded.

“Expecting it?” Miles asked.

He nodded again.

“She’s different. Around the kids and around me.” Roman said. “Like she’s pulling away from us.” He concluded.

Miles looked at him.

“So how you going to fix this Roman?”

He shook his head.

“I have no idea. I go over every conversation we have and wonder if I say the right thing or if she needs me to be more demonstrative or less.” He grinned. “I’m walking through a hormonal minefield.” He said softly and sank down on a chair. “I miss her.” he confessed. “I mean she’s El, but not the El I can talk to anymore. I’m scared I’m losing her and the stupid thing is if she has been having an affair I will probably let her go.”

“Or push her away.” Miles said.

“Coffee.” Roman muttered without commenting.

Miles grinned and went to fetch him a cup.

He returned a moment later and sat next to his friend.

“You decide anything now and the pair of you will regret it, you know that.”

Roman nodded taking a sip of coffee.

“I know. I wish she would wake up tomorrow and just remember.”

“Even if she remembers and decides she loves someone else.”

Roman turned away and then looked at Miles. His eyes were bleak.

“I wouldn’t care as long as she is happy.”

Miles grinned.

“Of course and you won’t kill him just a little.”

“Maybe I will flex my macho side a little, but as long as El is happy I wouldn’t care.” He conceded.

Miles chuckled.

“El do you want to join us?” he asked her.

She walked around the corner and Roman looked at her. She was crying.

He stood and opened his arms and she ran into them.

He kissed her gently.

“Come on now.” He said and wiped away her tears.

She sighed.

“You’d let me go?” she said.

“Yeah if you were happy with someone else.” He said. “And that wasn’t my first reaction.”

She smiled and wiped away fresh tears.

“You love me that much that you are prepared to put up with a child that isn’t yours."

Roman flinched.

“Are you saying you remember something?” he asked, wondering if some other smug SOB had wormed his way into her bed and put his child inside her.

She shook her head.

“I’m talking about Meggy. She’s not yours.”

He looked at her his face pale.

“El of course she’s mine, both biologically and emotionally.” He said kissing her again.

“Then why aren’t you in photos? And I was attacked.”

He groaned.

“Because we were apart for a time while you recovered. How much do you remember?” he asked leading her over to a chair and sitting her down.

She looked at him.

“Just being in a dark room and being scared. Then his weight and being cut.”

She murmured.

He looked at Miles.

“I think she can handle it.” Miles said. “And we are here for her.”

She glared at him not like being talked about.

“Oi.” She said.

“Mate, I mentioned the hormones didn’t I?” Roman said out the corner of his mouth.

El laughed.

Roman sat on the floor in front of her and took hold of her hands. He looked her in the eyes and told her about Gardy.

She flinched as bits and pieces flashed into her head. Flashbacks.

“But you need to know El, that you made it ok. You survived and came back to us.” He murmured at the end.

She looked at Miles and seeing him so upset undid her resolve and she started crying.

“You found out you were pregnant and left me because you thought the baby was his. But we both forgot that we made love the day you were taken. Meggy is mine and it wouldn’t matter if she wasn’t because we loved her anyway.” He added.

She closed her eyes as the image of the birth flashed into her head. She focused on the memory dragging it from deep inside the fog. She was exhausted and she held out her arms for the baby and the nurse placed her there. She had drifted off after kissing her baby waking later in the hospital room to see Roman cradling her in his arms. She’d asked to feed her.

“She’s ours.” Ella said to him.

She put her hand to her head as the headache started.

He smiled and stood picked her up out of the chair and carrying her to his car.

“Is she ok?” Miles asked.

“Yes but I need to get her home she’s about to have a killer headache.”

“About to?” Ella muttered. “I feel sick.”

“Yeah well you should have talked to me two weeks ago.” He said logically. “Instead of bottling this up.”

She hit him and he laughed at the feeble slap.

“Hormones.” Miles told him.

Roman grinned.

“Her mad at me is better than the last two weeks mate.” He told him.

Miles chuckled.

Ella glared at him before wincing as the light hit her eyes.

“Still want divorce.” She said.

Roman chuckled.

“No chance.” He strapped her in the passenger seat and reached into the glove box and pulled out a pair of sunglasses. He put them on her and heard her sigh.

He turned to Miles.

“Thanks.” he said quickly. “Come for dinner, hey?”

Miles nodded and watched as Roman went over to the driver’s side and got behind the wheel. He waved them off and went inside the house.

Roman drove them home quickly and walked around to her side of the car. He undid the buckle on the seatbelt and carried her into the house and straight up the stairs. He peeled back the covers and laid her on the bed. He removed her shoes and pulled the covers over her. He shut out the light by pulling the curtains and then went and fetched her tablets and a glass of water. He made her take them knowing that she would put it off for as long as possible because of the baby. He had told her time and time again that they were safe to take and the mildest tablets but she still hated taking them even though it took away the pain.

“I love you El.” He said softly.

She caught hold of his hand.

“We need a divorce or fill in the blanks because I can’t go on like this.”

He kissed her gently and left her to sleep without commenting.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 13

Ella woke up in a dark room. She pushed the covers off the bed and stood up. She grinned and slipped on her shoes to walk downstairs. She found Roman and the children sitting at the table eating, of all things pizza and she smiled.

“Mummy.” Sammy called, climbing off his chair and running over to her.

“Sammy.” She said and picked him up.

She kissed him and hugged him carrying him back to the table and putting him back in his chair.

Roman smiled at her. He was still wary about her statement that she wanted a divorce but seeing her hug her youngest seemed a positive step.

“Yours is in the kitchen Mummy.” Meggy told her.

She nodded and walked through to the kitchen and picked up the box. It was still warm so she placed slices on a plate and carried it through to the table before sitting down next to Roman.

“It should be a nice day tomorrow I thought we should do something as a family.” She said into the silence.

Roman grinned.

“We were actually just talking about that.” He told her.

“I want to go riding.” Sophie muttered defiantly.

“No.” El said softly.

“We’ve talked about this Sophie and you only want to do it because your best friend does. “ Roman muttered.

Sophie glared at him.

“Sophie.” El said warningly. “I don’t want any tantrums please, I still have a headache.”

She looked at her mum and backed down.

“What about you Georgie?” she murmured. “Any suggestions?”

“Well it would be nice if we had a day at the beach.” He moderated.

“Yes, but how about something different for a change?” El asked.

“Me like beach.” Sammy said putting his thumb in his mouth.

She turned to him and lifted him onto her lap.

“No thumb babes.” She said, pulling his thumb out of his mouth and kissing him.

He smiled up at her.

“How about you take Meggy and Sophie shopping for some girlie time and I take Sam and Georgie for a bike ride or something and then we meet on the beach later.” Roman added.

“Wanna go with Mummy.” Sammy muttered.

She grinned.

“Beach and diner then.” She said.

She kissed Sammy again and put him back on his chair.

“And maybe something afterwards.” Roman added.

“Dvd and popcorn.” Meggy said.

Sophie glared at her.

“That isn’t special we do that every weekend.”

“Well it’s like the first weekend we are doing it with Mummy now.” Meggy told her folding her arms. “She doesn’t remember stupid.”

Ella laughed at her daughter and looked at Roman out the corner of her eye.

“Should I have said I don’t want any arguing too?” she asked them.

“Sorry.” Meggy said and went back to eating her dinner.

“Sleepover?” Sophie suggested.

El shook her head.

“No I’m not having loads of kids running around screaming all night.” She said to her daughter. “And you can keep your hands off my makeup.”

Sophie glared at her.

“It was one time we did that. And it was Georgie’s fault he …wait.” She said looking at her. “You remember?”

El grinned.

“Everything?” Sophie asked looking at her dad.

El nodded.

“Everything Missy and no you are not allowed to wear earrings at school so you can stop that one next week.”

Roman moved quickly and picked her up out of the chair.

“Are you back?” he asked her kissing her.

She pushed at him.

“How about you let me answer?” she asked him.

He laughed.

”I remember everything ok.” she smiled at him. “And you are in so much trouble.”

He grinned.

“I don’t care as long as you are back with us.” He smiled broadly and held her.

The children jumped off their chairs and ran over to her. She laughed as they clung to her legs. She hugged each of them and kissed them.

“See even when I didn’t remember I knew I loved you.” She said softly. “My little man.” She said to Georgie. “My Princess.” She said to Sophie. “Troublemaker.” She grinned at Meggy. ”My babe.” She said to Sammy.

She looked at Roman.

“My hero husband.” She grinned and he kissed her again.

“I’m going to call the others.” He said.

She nodded.

“And tell them to come over.” She grinned. “I’m going to call Mike and apologise for that message I left on his phone.” She blushed at Roman’s look.

“Uh huh.” He said and she blushed even more.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 14

He waited until the kids were in bed before he opened up a bottle of wine. He poured out a glass for himself and sat on the sofa giving her time to herself despite the fact that he wanted to rush up the stairs and take her straight to bed. He shifted on the sofa as his body reacted to the thought of her naked on a bed.

She walked into the lounge and looked at him.

“You look comfortable.”

He smiled.

“Want to join me?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“I’m still pretty tired so I’m going to go to bed.” She said softly.

He nodded and took a sip of wine to stop himself from asking if she wanted him to come.

“Goodnight.” She said and smiled at him.

“Night.” He responded.

She turned and walked up the stairs.

He waited for a full heartbeat before he vaulted off the sofa and switched off the lights before he followed her.

She was standing her side of the bed taking off her clothes when he walked into the bedroom.

“Yes?” she asked him.

“I was wondering if ..” he started then shrugged and started taking off his clothes.

“Planning on sleeping in here?” she asked him.

He nodded.

“And do you think it’s a good idea?” she asked.

He grinned.

“Yes I think it’s a very good idea.” He told her.

She shook her head.

“Either go back to the spare room or I will.”

He shook his head.

“No.” he said.

She looked at him.

“Roman.” She began.

He walked round the bed and placed his hands either side of her face.

“No more talking. Those lips can do so much else.”

She tried to pull away from him placing her hands on his wrists.

No.” she said.

He leaned forward and kissed her, his lips gentle on hers.

“I need you and I love you.” He said. “If you really don’t want to just tell me.”

She looked into his eyes.

“We should talk.” She said.

He grinned.

“I couldn’t agree more. We have a lot to talk about.” His thoughts drifted to the mysterious man that she was seeing and he couldn’t have left the room even if a nuclear bomb went off. He had to have her. He had to prove that she belonged with him.

“But that isn’t telling me you don’t want to.” He grinned.

She smiled at him.

“I want you.” She admitted.

He kissed her again before he asked the stupid question of whether she wanted him more than the other man.

She responded her hands gliding up his arms and wrapping around his neck. He lifted her to the bed and laid her down, his body covering hers. He marvelled at how they fitted together so perfectly. He knew every centimetre of her body. Knew where she liked to be kissed, to be touched and stroked, to have his tongue on her.

He took off the rest of their clothes and set about mastering her body wringing every response from her.

He captured her face once more, forcing her to look at him before he used a knee to part her legs. She sighed up at him her body languid from pleasure. She looked into his eyes as he eased into her. He thrust deep joining his body to hers. She moved against him.

“Put your legs around me.” He whispered. “Oh yes, just like that.” He moaned.

He pinned her hands above her head and kissed her over and over again, his other hand stroking down her body until he cupped her breast. He thrust into her again and again hearing her moaning and sighing as she was overcome by pleasure once again. He grinned against her lips as he kissed her. She was his.

Ella woke slowly. She knew it was late but she was alone in bed. She stretched aching in some unaccustomed places. She blushed. Turning she saw that he had placed a single white rose on the pillow with a note. She sat up and adjusted the pillows behind her so she could sit in comfort.

“Hey you, Kids at Nic’s until later. Gone to work. Hope you slept well. Love your husband xx”

She smiled and eased out of bed and padded through to their ensuite. She stopped when she saw another note next to another glorious white rose.

“Enjoy your shower. Wish I could join you! Would love to have my hands all over you again…. Xx”

She blushed as she read it and then switched the shower on and stepped under the hot spray. She washed her hair using extra conditioner because it was very tangled and blushed some more remembering the way he had wrapped the long strands around his fingers as he drove himself inside her, his lips on hers. She moaned as she remembered feeling her legs go weak. She stepped out of the shower and dried herself on one of the big fluffy towels before pulling on her bathrobe and pulling a comb through her wet hair easing out the knots.

She went down the stairs and into the kitchen. She saw another rose immediately and another note. She opened it slowly.

“Come to the Diner for breakfast. Let me feed you perfect pancakes and fresh strawberries… I want to taste the sweet fruit on you lips… xx”

She felt her knees go weak at the mental image of sharing strawberries with him and sighed before making her way up the stairs to get dressed.

She collected the roses and took them downstairs. She found a vase with more roses in sitting on the dinning room table next to a small box of her favourite chocolates. She couldn’t resist opening it and taking one. The sweet velvet of the chocolate melted on her tongue and she smiled before collecting her keys and heading to the diner.

Roman heard her voice and came out of the kitchen.

“Hey.” She said and blushed.

He resisted smiling.

“Hello.” He said softly.

He walked around the counter and took her in his arms and kissed her.

She moaned against his lips feeling her knees go weak all over again.

“Take a seat and I’ll get your breakfast.” He murmured against her lips.

She could only nod unable to speak.

He caught a strand of hair and wound it round his finger as he kissed her again. Another mental image from the previous night flashed through her head and she whimpered as her body responded.

He let go of her hair and stepped away leaving her to claim a seat on the sofa.

She sank down into the soft cushions and only moments later he reappeared with a glass of chilled orange juice.

She took it form him and took a long sip.

She started in surprise at the taste. He had blended pineapple and mango into the orange juice. It was lovely and sweet and refreshing. She drank half of it before she knew it.

Roman walked out of the kitchen and put a plate in front of her. There were strawberries cut into bite size pieces with light fluffy pancakes. A dusting of icing sugar over the edge of the plate. He lifted the fork and speared a piece of strawberry and lifted that to her lips. She was forced to open her mouth and he fed her the juicy fruit.

She bit into it and felt the sharpness of the taste explode on her tongue. She blushed as their eyes met. He handed her the fork and she picked up the plate and started eating.

“So what are we going to do with the kids?” she asked, her voice breathy.

He smiled.

“Nic will bring them over this afternoon and we will have a late BBQ and then watch a film. “ he said to her. “Nic and Geoff and the kids will stay overnight. Aden and Belle too.”

He put his hand on her leg and stroked her thigh through the flimsy cotton skirt and he heard her gasp. Their eyes met and she moaned again.

“I thought that we could take a walk on the beach after you’ve finished breakfast.” He said softly.

She nodded.

“I need to go to Miles’ at some point I left my phone there.” She said focusing on something other than his hand hot on her thigh.

He nodded.

She cleared the plate and he took it through to the kitchen while she finished the juice. He held out his hand and she took it standing up slowly. He put his arm around her and led her outside. They walked along the beach. She stopped and took off her sandals and walked barefoot. He pulled her toward him and kissed her. His lips firm on hers.

“You do taste of strawberries.” He whispered.

She whimpered against his lips.

Before she knew it he had steered her to the sand dunes.

She caught sight of where they were.

“No.” she said.

He smiled at her and nodded.

He caught hold of her hand and pressed it against his aroused flesh.

“I can’t wait.” He told her and pressed more kisses down her neck. “Remember how hot and wild it was?” he asked. “I want you wild again.” He whispered punctuating each word with a kiss.

She moaned dropping her sandals to the sand as he manoeuvred them into the middle of the dunes. He ran his hands all over her body as he lowered her to the hot sand.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 15

She drove over to see Miles feeling like her whole body was blushing. She knocked on the door and stepped inside.

“I’m in the kitchen.” Miles called out.

“Hey.” She said. “I left my phone here.” She explained.

He nodded.

“It has been ringing too. Who is Nathan?” he asked.

She blushed before going pale.

“He’s a friend. “ she explained but didn’t meet his eyes.

“Well you have like 10 missed calls. Perhaps you should ring him back.” Miles said calmly. “And then we’ll have a talk.” He added.

She looked at him before accepting her phone from his hand and walking away to make the call.

“Hey.” She said when it was answered. “I am so sorry.”

Miles heard her explain about the hit on her head and how she hadn’t remembered anything until last night. She looked over at him and moved further away.

“Look Nate I can’t really talk at the moment. How about we meet?” She pulled at a strand of hair as she spoke alternately blushing and grinning. Miles was struck by an image of Nic, from the time when she stayed with him and would be talking to some boy. And he hoped that he was wrong about the parallel.

“Sure no problem. Love you too.” She said and clicked the phone shut.

She saw Miles looking at her.

“It’s not what you think.” She defended herself quickly.

“I think you are seeing someone behind Roman’s back.” Miles said softly.

“Ok.” she muttered. “It is what you think.” She was forced to confirm.

“Is the baby his?” Miles asked.

She nodded. Then blushed.

“The baby is Roman’s!” she exclaimed seeing how both the question and answer could be misconstrued.

Miles looked at her and put a cup on the table.

She sat down and picked it up taking a sip.

“So what is going on?” Miles asked.

El shook her head.

“I can’t tell you.” She said. “It’s not what your thinking anyway.” She added but was unable to meet Miles gaze.

“Are you meeting someone behind Roman’s back?” Miles asked.

She nodded.

“Yes I am seeing someone.” She began just as her phone rang. “Hey.” She answered the call, getting up from the table and walking away.

“Yeah I’m still there. I’ll ask him. Hold on.”

She looked over at Miles.

“Roman wants to know if you want to come over tonight.” She said quickly.

Miles looked in his cup.

“Yeah.” He muttered eventually.

“He says yes… Ok.” she hung up. “Sorry Miles I can’t talk I have to go. I’ll see you later.” She moved away and out of the house.

Miles swore.

Ella drove home with the shopping. She carried the bags through to the house and handed them to Aden when he suddenly appeared.

“Hey.” She grinned at him. “There are more in the car.” She added.

He nodded and went to fetch them.

She wandered out back and saw that Roman had already set up the BBQ, and the lights and dragged out more chairs from the shed.

“Hey. Did you get everything?” he asked her.

She nodded and then turned as Miles came in.

“Miles.” Roman grinned as he greeted him.

“You took your time shopping.” Miles told her. “You left mine ages ago.”

She looked down.

“Yeah well I bumped into someone and said hello. And there was the longest queue in the supermarket.”

“Maybe you should go and put your feet up for a bit.” Roman suggested gently.

“Yeah, you look very tired.” Miles added.

She glared at him.

“I will actually. Give me a call in a bit.” She said and kissed Roman before going in the house.

Aden came out carrying some beers and handed them out.

“Miles you have anything you want to say?” Roman asked very quietly.

“Nothing. That I can say.” He muttered stiltedly and drank deeply from the bottle.

“Ok I’m picking up on some vibes so I’m going to go into the kitchen and I don’t know, do something in there, until you’ve finished.” Aden said.

Miles chuckled but his gaze met with Romans’ and he sobered.

“Miles.” Roman said softly.

“Roman.” Miles said ignoring the warning in the other mans’ tone of voice.

“Talk dammit.” Roman said finally.

“I can’t. I don’t know anything. She made a phone call that’s all I know.” He said finally.

“Oh yeah, and that is why you are p*ssed at her?” Roman grinned. “Are you saying she went to see someone this afternoon?” Roman asked.

Miles looked at him quickly before looking away.

Roman walked away into the kitchen. He started preparing the food chopping the vegetables for the salads.

Aden went out to sit with Miles.

“I get the feeling that something is going on.” Aden grinned.

“Yeah, we are all getting that feeling. And I hope I’m flipping wrong or your dad is going to kill someone.” Miles grinned but he was worried.

Aden settled back on the chair and looked at the sky. He waited for a moment.

“No way.” he said.

Miles looked at him.

“She wouldn’t.” Aden added remembering their flirtation.

Miles said nothing taking a long drink of his beer.

“Good God.” Aden added.

Miles grinned at the other man’s shock.

“Well Miles it was nice talking to you but I’m a doctor and I should go prepare the hospital for the bloodshed.”

Miles laughed.

“I’ll have another beer too.” He told him.

Aden smirked as he fetched the bottles.

“Shut. Up.” Roman told him.

“I didn’t say anything. Especially as you have a knife in your hand.” He said quickly.

Roman looked at him.

“When I come out we won’t talk about this ok. We are going to have a nice pleasant evening. Nic will be here soon with the children and I do not want them upset.” He said softly.

Aden nodded and put his hand on Roman’s shoulder.

“Are you sure?” he said quickly.

Roman looked down at his hands placed on the worktop seeing them clench into fists.

“I don’t know ok.” he admitted. “But I’m sure enough for this to hurt. If she saw him this afternoon.” He trailed off lowering his head.

Miles walked into the kitchen.

“It was only a short time after we’d made love. She’d go from my bed to his?” Roman asked, despite the fact that there hadn’t been a bed involved.

“Roman.” Miles said softly.

He turned and looked at them.

“I understand now.” He murmured. “How she felt when she saw me with Martha.” He added quietly. “Maybe it didn’t start until then.”

“Revenge? I don’t think so.” Miles added. “When she hung up on him she told him she loved him.”

Roman swore and turned and punched the wall.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 16

“Ok, that is broken.” Aden said to Roman.

He put the ice pack back on Roman’s hand and looked over at Miles.

“It’s fine.” Roman said.

“Don’t be an idiot.” Miles told him. “You’ve just been told that you’ve broken your hand.”

“Not the first time. It will be ok.” Roman took off the ice pack and flexed his fingers before putting the ice pack back on it.

“Fine.” Miles muttered. Followed by. “Bloody idiot.”

Roman stood up from the chair.

“What would you have me do Miles? Go beat a confession out of my wife? Chuck her out? Go and track this guy down? Tell me what to do because I really have no idea here?”

Miles put his hand on Roman’s shoulder and eased back in the chair.

“Right. We’ll have a good night and tomorrow you’ll go with Aden to get your hand sorted.” Miles said taking charge.

He looked to Aden for confirmation and saw him nod.

“Now what needs to be done food wise?” He asked.

Roman looked at the floor.

“Aden can you go light the BBQ?” Roman asked.

Aden nodded and went outside.

Roman looked at Miles.

“You need to talk to her and find out.” Miles told him. “You can’t go on like this.”

Roman stood and went through to the kitchen taking the ice pack with him and putting it in the sink.

“Ok, these potatoes need to go in the microwave.” He instructed.

Miles grinned and did as he was told.

“Yes Chef.” He murmured.

He picked up the salad and put that to one side before trying to work on the kebabs.

“Let me do it. “ Miles said softly.

Roman stood back and let Miles take over. He went into a cupboard and took out a bottle of whisky. He tucked it under his arm and used his good hand to undo the bottle and take a very long drink. He took out a bowl and poured a slug into it before adding seasoning and other ingredients. Then he put in the steaks in to marinade.

“So that is your secret.” Miles grinned.

Roman looked at him.

“It might be.” He grinned and took another long drink before offering the bottle to Miles.

He chuckled.

“It’s going to be one of those nights isn’t it?” Miles said and took a drink.

“No.” El said from the archway, she’d had a shower and gotten changed. “You two and whisky is not a good combination.”

Roman looked at her for a long minute wondering who’s scent she wanted to wash off her body, his or the other mans.

“Who is he?” he asked.

“It doesn’t matter who he is.” She said softly.

“Oh, it matters a hell of a lot.” Roman said and swore calling her several uncomplimentary names.

“Its.” She began.

Roman moved over to her and put his good hand on her throat and pinning her up against the wall, ignoring the gasp of shock from Miles.

“Don’t try and give me glib excuses. Did you sleep with him?”

“Roman no.” Miles said trying to stop him.

“Get off me.” She muttered. “I’m pregnant remember.” She told him.

He let her go and stepped back.

“Like I can forget anytime soon.” Roman muttered. “Who is the father though?”

“You.” She said starting to cry. “You’re the father.”

She moved away from him.

“And I’m supposed to believe you?” Roman muttered

“Roman go outside.“ Miles told him.

Roman looked at the other man for a long moment and then at his wife. He shook his head and moved away.

Miles looked at El. She was crying uncontrollably, a protective hand placed on her stomach.

“You stupid Girl. Is it worth risking your marriage for?” Miles asked her.

She shook her head and moved away from him and ran upstairs. Miles was tempted to follow her but he went out to Roman first.

“Well.” He said to him. “I’m so glad you invited me over. It’s been great.”

Roman looked at him and handed over the bottle.

“Is she alright?” he asked.

“She’s upset.” Miles said. “It’s not every day your husband tries to strangle you.”

Roman looked down on the decking beneath his feet.

“If I tried to strangle her she would be dead.” He said softly, his tone of voice indicting that he wasn’t joking.

Miles looked at him for a moment.

“I guess so.” He said softly.

Thy turned as they heard the front door open and the kids come running in with Nic and Geoff. Belle followed with Brett and Amy-belle and Tyler.

“Hello.” Nic called.

Roman groaned and closed his eyes.

“Through the back.” Miles called.

Roman stood up and saw them rush through.

Aden moved quickly and took charge of getting everyone drinks.

“I better.” Roman began.

Miles put his hand on Roman’s arm and stopped him. He nodded in the direction of the house and they saw Ella walking toward them. She’d changed into a sleeveless top with a turtleneck and Roman flinched knowing that she was covering up the marks of what he’d done.

“Hey kids.” El said softly.

She kissed and gave cuddles to all of them and led them out the back to the play area. She got out the toys from the playhouse and left them to it.

“Do you want us to do anything?” Nic asked.

Miles looked at Roman.

“Your dad has hurt his hand so we need to go sort the food.” He said leading her and Belle into the house.

Geoff went over to stand near the BBQ with Aden. He looked at the other man but Aden just shrugged.

El looked at Roman and then came over to him.

“El.” He said softly.

She nodded and he followed her to the end of the garden and the swing seat there. She sat down slowly and he did likewise.

“I can’t tell you what you’ve just done to me Roman but you need to know its over between us.” She began.

He nodded, knowing that she was referring to her trust.

She looked at him.

“I don’t know how to do this. You’ve been the constant for the kids for the past few months so it might be best if you stay here and I leave.” She sighed. “And then there is the baby. I presume you’ll want a DNA test?” she asked in the same tone of voice.

He looked at her.

“Yes.” He said, nailing the coffin shut that contained the remains of their marriage.

She nodded.

“We’ll keep up a front for tonight but I’ll leave tomorrow morning.”

He nodded.

“Who is he El?” he asked again. “Who is the man you’d rather be with?”

She shook her head.

“He is someone who won’t ever hurt me Roman Harris.” She took her rings off and placed them in his hand.

He looked at them for a time.

“Are you going to him?” he was forced to ask.

“No. Not that it is any of your business anymore.” She stood and moved away from him to join the others.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 17

Roman sat in the hospital room with a scowl on his face.

“Don’t even bother with that look you won’t get anywhere. You should have come and see me last week when you did it.” Aden smirked at him.

“I can still punch with my other hand.” Roman muttered under his breath.

“Yes, well this one will have to go in a cast.”

Roman glared at him some more.

“And that is the good news.” Aden grinned. “No work, no driving and probably quite a few other things.”

Roman looked up.

“I have to drive I have to take the kids to school.” He said quickly.

“Roman you have broken two of your metacarpal bones and fractured a bone in your wrist. Either we put it in a cast or you will suffer extreme pain and risk amputation.” Aden spelled out in his best Doctor voice.

Roman sighed.

“Fine.” He muttered. “But how am I going to cope with the kids.”

“I suggest you call your wife.” Aden said.

Roman glared at him.

“It’s your only option. Nic works. Belle can’t help. My shift pattern is all over the place. So whom does that leave? Logically?” he asked.

Roman nodded.

“I know but we haven’t spoken.” He said quietly.

Aden nodded.

The nurse came back and they started to plaster his wrist.

“I’ll call her.” Aden told him after a minute.

Roman nodded.

They finished putting the plaster on and Aden left him there while he went out to use the phone. He dialled El’s number and it went through to voicemail. He left a message asking her to ring him when she got the message. And then went back into Roman’s room.

“I got her voicemail. Failing her we could always ask Martha?” Aden said.

Roman looked at him.

“It would be worth having my other hand in plaster from hitting you.” Roman muttered and heard Aden start to chuckle.

“Have you spoken to Geoff about your tendency towards violence?” Aden asked him with a grin.

“Ha ha. I can’t remember why I took you in now. I must have been having an off day.”

“Dad don’t be like that. You love me really!”

“Uh huh.” He looked at Aden. “Back rent.” He muttered

“My cue to leave.” Aden said with a smile. “I need you to wait in here for another half hour.”

Roman nodded.

“Perhaps you could send that nurse in to keep me company?” Roman suggested.

Aden shook his head.

“I happen to like that nurse thank you.” He said and walked out.

Roman lay back on the bed and put his uninjured hand behind his head.

El walked out of the hospital and switched her phone on. She saw the message come up saying she had voicemail. She listened to the message and walked back into the hospital. She found Aden almost immediately.

“So if I say come and see me you’ll ring?” Aden asked smiling at her.

“I was here having a scan.” She pointed out.

Aden grimaced.

“Roman is here.” He said softly.

She looked up and he could swear she looked hopeful that maybe he’d remembered about the scan.

“He’s broken his wrist and can’t drive. We need to you take him home.” Aden said and knew he was right when a look of disappointment came over her face.

She nodded.

“Ok I’ll take you to him. You should know that he’s not allowed to drive for six weeks.” Aden said. “So you’ll have to work something out.”

El looked at him.

“Are you serious?” she muttered.

Aden nodded.

“Yup.” He said softly. “But hey, you guys might figure stuff out by then.” He added softly.

She shook her head.

“Dead horse and all that.” She told him.

“Ok. “Aden agreed. “And I just imagined that look of disappointment just then.”

She glared at him.

“That’s what I thought. El, why are you doing this?” He added, steering her over to some seats and sitting them down so they could talk.

She looked at him.

“Roman hurt me. Psychically hurt me. Do you think I should stay after that?” She asked.

“And all the times you’ve slapped him?” Aden pointed out.

“Yes, a slap. But did I put my hand round his throat and squeeze?” she said softly, her tone of voice still reflecting her hurt. “If he’d hit me we might get past that but he did more and I don’t want to be there if he loses his temper again.”

“That makes no sense El, because you left the kids there.”

She looked at him.

“It does Aden because he won’t ever hurt them.”

“But you are saying he’ll hurt you?”

She nodded.

“I can’t give him what he wants.” She said.

“And that is?” Aden asked puzzled.

“My faithfulness.” She murmured.

“Yeah, I don’t get that either. “ he muttered. “I don’t get this whole scenario. You were tortured by guilt when all we did was kiss am I to really believe that you have someone else?”

She nodded.

“Someone else who I love.” She confirmed.

Aden shook his head.

“I’m sorry I can’t believe that there is someone out there you love more than Roman.”

She looked at him and soft light came into her eyes.

“There is. I’m sorry I’m hurting everybody but I need to do this.” She told him putting her hand on top of his.

He looked at their hands for a long moment.

“Ok El.” He said finally.

She stood up and took a deep breath.

“Where is he?” she asked.

He stood too and pointed to a room.

She moved over to the door and took another breath before opening it.

“Hello.” She said calmly.

“Hey.” He said, unable to stop his eyes eating up the sight of her. “you got here quick.”

She nodded.

“I was already here for a scan.” She said.

He flinched.

“Sorry.” He muttered.

“It’s ok. Shall we get you home?” she asked.

He nodded and sprang up from the bed and made his way out of the door.

“Roman.” Aden called.

Roman turned around and Aden walked over to him and put the sling on his hand.

“And here are your pain pills. Don’t be an idiot.” He said to the other man.

Roman looked at him.

“On second thoughts.” He said and handed them to El. “Every four hours.” He instructed her.

She looked at the glint in Aden’s eyes and sighed.

“Fine.” She muttered.

She and Roman walked out to her car and she waited for him to climb in.

“Seatbelt.” She told him.

He glared at her but pulled it across him struggling to do it up with his one hand. She took it from him, their fingers meeting for a moment and clicked it into place.

“Ok?” she asked him.

“Yeah.” He said.

She started up the car and drove them home.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 18

“Are you hungry?” She asked him opening the front door and going into the house.

He nodded.

“How about soup and toast?” she suggested.

“Sounds good.” He said moving to the sofa and sitting down.

She nodded and went into the kitchen.

“Out of a tin,” she warned him.

“I can cope with that.” He chuckled.

He got him a glass of water and two of the tablets and took them through to him.

“Aden is getting too big for his boots.” Roman muttered.

She didn’t say anything and he looked at her as he took the tablets washing them down with the water.

”How did it go today?” he asked her.

She nodded.

“It went ok but they are concerned about the baby not being big enough. So they have booked another scan in two weeks.” She said softly.

“I’m sorry El.” He murmured, wanting to offer her comfort.

She nodded.

“I’m sure it will be ok. I’ll just eat a lot.” She grinned. “Pizza for every meal.”

He looked at her.

“Ok, maybe some salad too.” She conceded.

She went back onto the kitchen and dealt with the toast and soup putting the bowl on the table when it was heated through.

“El.” Roman said looking at the plate of toast.

She gave him a blank look.

“What?” she asked.

“I’m not Sammy.” He told her.

She looked at the plate.

“What, I always cut up your toast.” She mumbled blushing.

“Not usually into soldiers though.” He grinned looking at the small slices of toast.

“Ok I’m distracted.” She muttered.

“Alright I won’t pick on you anymore.” He said. “Can I get a drink of juice?” he asked her.

She nodded.

“In my beaker?” he added.

She glared at him.

“Would you like another broken arm to go with that?” she grouched.

He chuckled.

Roman sat down and started eating.

“What are you having?” he asked her.

She shook her head.

“I’m not hungry.” She murmured. “I’m thinking about how we are going to do this.”

She sat down in the chair next to him.

“It’s going to be awkward I suppose.” He said softly.

She nodded.

“I think you should move back in. Seems the only solution. Temporarily of course.” He said.

He pushed the plate of toast closer to her and she looked at it for a minute.

“I can deal with that. I’ll take the attic bedroom.” She told him. “I can use the sitting room up there too so we have our own space.”

“Ok.” he said.

She absentmindedly took a slice of toast and bit into it.

“How do you feel about the occasional shift at the diner?” he grinned.

She looked at him.

“Are you serious?”

“Only slightly. It will take them some time to sort out a replacement for me and I’m out of commission for six weeks.”

She looked at him.

“Fine.” She said.

He chuckled.

“I expected more argument.” He confessed at her glare.

“Yes, but I plan to run you out of business in 2 weeks.” She muttered. “That way you’ll be forced to leave Summer Bay and I’ll get custody of it.”

He looked at her.

“I’ll just move into a caravan at Miles’ and live off palimony so you’ll have to think up another plan.” He told her with a half smile.

She muttered something about his parentage and he grinned.

“I’ll stay at the hotel tonight and move back in tomorrow if that’s ok.” She said softly.

He nodded.

“That’s good.” He murmured and saw her smile.

He’d missed her smiles and tortured himself with thoughts of her giving away his smiles to other men.

“Now if I collect Sammy from Nic and take their swimming stuff with me I can take them to the pool at the hotel after school and give you a chance to have a lay down.”

He nodded acknowledging how tired he was. The pain in his hand had kept him awake at nights or at least that is what he told himself.

He finished the soup and was pleased to see that she had eaten most of the toast. He resisted grinning but only just. She gathered the things from the table and took them through to the kitchen. He caught hold of her hand on the way past.

“Thank you for doing this El I know it isn’t ideal but I appreciate it.”

She nodded.

“Well we have the kids so we should be able to be civil.” She said brusquely.

He nodded.

“But still.” He said. “Thank you.”

She looked at him and their eyes met and their gazes fused together.

“It’s not like we don’t care for each other. We’ve had some good times.” El said to him. “I would have been hurt if you hadn’t asked me.”

He stood and pulled her into his arm, acknowledging grimly that he could only use the one. She stood stiffly in his embrace and he sighed.

“A lot of good times.” He said with the hint of finality and let her go.

She nodded and looked up at him.

He didn’t know what he expected when he held her but the feeling that it was too late for them sapped his strength and he moved away and went upstairs. He went into their room and sat on the bed. He couldn’t let on that since she had moved out he had used one of the spare rooms so he was forced to use their room.

“El.” He called out.

“Yes?" she said walking up the stairs.

“I need help.” he was forced to admit.

She grinned.

“Well that is the first step. Want me to call the AA for you and find out when the meetings are?” she grinned at him.

“I need help getting undressed.” He confessed a hint of colour on his face.

She giggled.

“You are joking right?” she muttered.

He shook his head.

“Fine.” She sighed.

She walked into the room.

“Sit down.” She said.

He sat on the bed and watched as he knelt at his feet and took off his trainers and his socks. She moved and reached for the fastening on his jeans undoing them. He lay back on the bed and led her pull them over his hips and down his legs. He didn’t confess that he could have managed with her help just undoing them and forced himself not to smile. She took off his sling next and pulled his T-shirt over his head.

“I trust you can manage now.” She muttered and moved away.

He nodded.

“Thanks.” He said keeping his eyes from meeting hers.

“Right I’ll see you later.” She said and backed out of the room.

She collected the swimsuits and put them in a bag before heading downstairs. He heard the front door shut and grinned.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 19

She led the children back into the house.

“Homework please.” She called and went through to the kitchen with the shopping. She put the bags on the top and reached into the fridge to get out the juice to get them all drinks. She added a plate of cookies too. Before going back into the kitchen and putting the shopping away.

She went out back and saw Roman asleep in the chair. Before she could stop herself she stroked his hair back from his face.

El looked at her hand in horror and recoiled.

“Hey.” He said sleepily opening his eyes and peering at her.

He stretched and yawned to make out he hadn’t felt her touch because from the look on her face she wasn’t happy.

“How are you?” he asked standing up and lifting up his empty glass.

She nodded.

“Fine.” She said but he saw her place a hand in the small of her back and he knew she was lying.

“I’m going out tonight.” She muttered. “I won’t be late back but you’ll have to see to the kids by yourself.”

“Ok.” he said softly. “Have you eaten?” he asked her.

She nodded.

“Yes.” She said and looked at him. “Leah has fed me twice.” She added.

“I didn’t say anything.” He defended but spoiled it by grinning at her. “Right I’ll get something for the kids.”

“I got the shopping.” She told him.

He nodded.

“Why don’t you go for a lie down for a bit?” he suggested.

She shook her head.

“Are you saying I look a mess?” she asked.

He grinned.

“God no.” he grinned. “I wouldn’t dare suggest it. But you do look a bit tired and your back is hurting you isn’t it?”

She reluctantly nodded.

“Turn around.” He instructed.

She looked at him for a moment weighing up whether felling his hands on her would be worth the cost of losing the backache and eventually turned around slowly. He massaged the small of her back with his good hand and she sighed blissfully.

“Just here?” he asked her pressing in a certain spot.

“Oh yes.” She moaned.

He grinned and then stopped himself from showing any expression. She would have to admit that no other man knew her body as well as he did, he thought possessively.

“It’s the mattress.” She said after a minute.

“Too tough?” he asked, knowing they had chosen a firm mattress for the bed in the attic room on account of her father staying there so often.

She nodded.

“Why don’t you swap to our bed and I’ll move into a spare room.” He suggested.

She shook her head.

“It’s not our bed anymore, remember.” She muttered and moved away from him.

He caught hold of her arm.

“Figure of speech only.” He murmured. “I’m going to get the kids dinner. Text me if you are going to be late, or whatever, ok?” he said softly and pressed a kiss to her forehead before letting go of her arm and moving away.

She watched him walk into the house and greet the children before going into the kitchen.

She took a deep breath and debated whether to go after him but opted to go up to the attic room to shower and get changed. She said her goodbyes to the children before leaving.

“Hey.” She said softly.

Nate turned and greeted her with a kiss.

“Wow. You look good.” He murmured.

El blushed.

“That is a lie I look pregnant.” She grinned.

“Would you like a drink at the bar or should we go eat? “ he asked softly.

“A drink please.”

“Orange juice and lemonade?” he asked her.

She nodded.

He took hold of her arm and led her over to the bar and ordered the two drinks.

He pulled out the stool and she climbed up on it, placing her small evening purse on the bar. He put her drink in front of her and smiled into her eyes.

“How are you?” he asked.

She smiled.

“We are fine thank you.” She grinned and placed a hand on her bump.

She took a sip of her drink.

“You know what I want to ask don’t you?” she murmured.

He nodded.

“When am I going to tell my wife about you.” Nate murmured in response.

She smiled up at him.

He pulled up a chair and sat down leaning towards her.

“I don’t know El. I know I have to but it’s so difficult. Especially since the miscarriage.”

She nodded and her eyes went bleak for a second.

“And I know things aren’t easy for you either. Don’t think I’m just sitting back smugly thinking I’m getting the best deal here.” He leaned over and kissed her softly on the cheek. “How is the soon to be Ex husband?” he asked grinning.

She looked at him.

“Strangely being nice.” She said.

“Not having a go because you’re out with me?” he asked quickly.

She shook her head.

“Told me to text if I was planning to be out late.” She said.

Nate laughed.

“That isn’t Nice that is sneaky.”

She looked at him.

“Ok.” she said puzzled.

“Well making you feel like you need to let him know your movements and then telling you he knows what you are doing.” He said in explanation. “How do you feel about that?”

She looked at him and took another sip of the drink.

“Guilty.” She sighed. “And now angry.”

Nate nodded.

“So he is controlling you even though he is apparently giving you your freedom. Then you are going to think about him all evening and probably cut the evening short because you are either wanting to release the anger or stop him worrying about you being out late, in your condition.”

She looked at him.

“Ok, I’m going to kill him.” she said.

“Save on paperwork for the divorce.” He agreed.

“Don’t you dare laugh.” She muttered and drained her drink.

“No chance.” He smiled over at her and stroked her hair back from her face. “You are really beautiful you know that don’t’ you.”

“Like hell I am.” She grumbled.

He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

“Yes you are. Shall we go up to the room?” he asked.

She nodded smiling at him.

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 20

El walked in the house at midnight. She slipped off her shoes and began to tiptoe up the stairs.

“I’m in here.” Roman called out.

“Hey.” She said changing direction and going into the lounge.

“Hey.” He said. “I’ve changed the bedding on the “old” bed if you want to use that.” He told her.

She looked down.

“No it’s fine thank you.” She murmured and turned back to the stairs.

“Seriously El. I’d rather you did. After all it’s my baby too.” He said softly.

He stood up from the sofa and clicked out the lights.

“I’m in the spare room anyway.” He murmured and walked past her.

She saw him going up the stairs and made a mental note to kill him in the morning. Not only had he depersonalised their bedroom but he’d also acknowledged the baby as his without argument or other scathing comment. Claiming ownership. Ouh, she hated him she thought and stomped into the kitchen for the ice cream she had stashed in the back of the freezer.

She put on Finding Nemo and curled up on the sofa and started eating. She didn’t hear Roman’s chuckle as he heard the film come on.

Leah took her to one side.

“El you’ve mucked up the last two orders. Where is your head today?” she asked her.

“It’s Roman. He’s messing with my head.” she muttered defensively.

Leah nodded.

“Colleen you are in charge me and El are taking a break.” Leah called out.

She pulled off her apron and indicated that El should do likewise.

El nodded and undid the strap and handed it to Leah. She put the two aprons into the back and led El out of the diner and along the beach. She looked round and sat down.

El looked at her and did likewise.

“So tell me from the beginning.” Leah instructed. “Who is Nate?”

El looked at her in shock.

“Who’s been talking?” she asked quickly.

Leah shook her head.

“I heard you on the phone arranging to meet him at the hotel.”

El blushed.

“Ok.” she said.

“I don’t believe for one minute that you would cheat on Roman.” Leah said.

El blushed some more.

“So who is he?” Leah asked.

“I can’t tell you.”

“So you aren’t cheating?” she asked intuitively.

“What is it with you and Rachel?” El muttered.

“We are just very good at getting secrets out of people. Now spill it.”

El looked at her and burst into tears.

Leah put her arms around her and held her for a minute.

“Now tell me El? You can’t keep bottling this stuff up can you?” She said softly.

“Nate is ..” she stopped and looked up. “I can’t. Ok.” she muttered.

“You have to tell someone.” Leah pointed out. “And it’s either me or Colleen.”

El looked at her and laughed for the first time that day.

“He’s my ……” she began to say when she caught Roman and Sam walking towards them. “Lover.” She finished. “I love him.” she added for good measure.

El stood up and walked back into the diner.

Leah looked over and saw Roman and groaned. She followed El back in.

“That wasn’t a set up you know.” Leah told her in an urgent whisper.

El glared at her.

“And I suppose you don’t know he can read lips.” She muttered.

Leah looked at her in shock.

“He can?” she asked.

El nodded.

“Damn.” Leah said. “I used to mutter swearwords under my breath when Colleen annoyed me.”

“I know.” El said.

“So I have to guess. He’s not your special friend.” Leah muttered.

“Shut up.” El muttered back.

Leah grinned.

“Hello Roman and young Sam.” Colleen greeted.

Leah turned.

“Hey Sammy boy.” She greeted her godson.

“Ant Leah.” He grinned and ran towards her.

“Roman I just convinced El that it’s time she had a break so why don’t you join her and I’ll get you a drink.” Leah said ignoring the look from El. “Com’on Sam lets go into the kitchen and you can help me make a drink.”

“Well that was subtle.” Roman grinned. “Are you ok, you seemed a little upset on the beach with Leah.” He murmured taking a seat opposite her.

She nodded.

“Hormones.” She said.

“Ok.” Roman said. “Why don’t I take the Kids for a walk tonight and leave you to have a soak or something pampering.” He suggested.

She looked at him.

“There is no need for that I’m meeting up with someone later for a coffee and then I’ll be back at the house.” She chose her words carefully.

Roman smiled.

She looked at him and almost groaned. He wasn’t supposed to smile when she was messing with his head.

“We should probably take the time at some point to sort out where we are going to live.” She said.

“Well the house is yours.” He pointed out.

She nodded and clenched her fists under the table to stop herself from commenting that she thought the house was theirs.

“Well maybe you should think about looking for somewhere else. I know you can’t really get around at the moment but I’m sure Miles can drive you to see some places.” She responded and smiled at him.

He nodded.

“I’ll get the property section out and have a look.” He said calmly. “Have you made any plans for after.”

She looked at him quickly.

“After?” she asked.

“Well you seem to be moving on so I wondered if you and..er Nate.. had made any plans. Because well I do have a vested interest with the kids and all.”

She glared at him.

“You expecting an invite to the wedding?” she asked and was about to stand up when Leah and Sam appeared with their drinks.

He grinned as his son proudly put a plate of cookies on the table.

El reached down and picked him up and sat him on the chair next to her.

“Way to go Sam.” She said and kissed him.

She reached for a cookie at the same time as Roman did and their fingers touched. She looked at him and saw him smile.

“Snap.” She said and laughed.

He nodded.

Leah placed their drinks in front of them.

“Thanks Leah.” Roman said softly, not taking his eyes away from Ella.

Leah looked at El and grinned, seeing the faint blush on her face.

El took a sip and ignored her and watched as she moved back into the kitchen.

“I should make a move and go get the others. Would you like a lift back to the house first.” She asked.

“Me go with you.” Sammy told her.

“Ok hun you can come pick up everyone at school.” She told him and kissed him. “Roman?” she asked.

“I’ll come with you too save you doing so many trips.” He smiled.

She nodded.

“I’ll go get my handbag.” She said pinning a smile on her face.

She stood and walked in the kitchen.

Leah took one look at her face.

“Don’t say anything.” She muttered to her.

Leah chuckled.

“Trying to beat him at his own game?” She asked.

El nodded.

She leaned forward checking Roman wasn’t anywhere near them to either overhear or lip read.

“He’s my brother, ok.” She said quietly.

Leah nodded.

“Feel better?” she asked grinning.

“I’ll let you know.” She said picking up her handbag and leaving.