Do you want kids?

[KirstyEkua]

One day, when i'm married (or in a stable relationship) i'd love to have children. The idea of being pregnant and giving birth does scare me a little but it's something i'd love to experience. I'm 25 now and don't feel in any rush, although my 'family' in Ghana and the kids i taught always ask when im going to get married and have a baby!! They say i'm getting an old lady

I think adoption is wonderful and i commend anyone who does it, particulary those who adopt older children because it seems everyone wants a baby and the rest are left behind. I think it would be extremely rewarding but very hard work.

It's a dream of mine to adopt from Africa one day, but then i don't agree with adopting children from developing countries and bringing them to Western worlds. I feel they would lose all sense of culture and identity and ultimately, it's not going to solve any problems in that country. But i think it's okay to adopt and bring them up in their own country, and i'd be happy to live in an African country.

[DinerLandlord]

I like children who are well behaved and non-smelly/gross, so I don't think I would make a good parent. Changing dirty nappies or wiping up puke are not things I could ever do, and I simply could not tolerate tantrums or bad behaviour of any sort. The terrifying worry parents must feel if anything bad ever happens to their children would cripple me (I'm a big worrier), and I would probably be too strict, and never let them have any fun or go anywhere nice. I'm also extremely lazy, so I probably would forget or not bother to feed them from time to time. The psychological damage I would inflict on any children I might have would be immense, so I think it is my duty to never reproduce.

I'd just like to say, I don't hate kids, I like playing with my nieces and nephews, but I don't want to have to look after any of my own.

[Dotti]

Changing dirty nappies or wiping up puke are not things I could ever do, and I simply could not tolerate tantrums or bad behaviour of any sort

Me too!

Um forget to feed them !!! :lol:

[Miranda]

I never, ever wanted children, never intended to. But I met The One and eventually we thought we would like a baby. To my surprise we now have one, a lovely little girl, the light of my life, aged 3. I would like another but my pregnancy was so awful I can't go through another, I'm afraid it would kill me [don't worry though, I am a very unusual case and most people get through it much more easily]. The birth was not terrible, my advice is to have drugs rather than suffer pains pointlessly for some philosophical reason.

I also used to think of all the reasons not to have children e.g. why bring a child into this awful world? why bring a child into the world where there are so many others who need parents? To the first question I thought of the answer as: having a child is like sticking two fingers up at the world and making a positive contribution instead of letting the world beat you, and bringing another good person into it rather than a cruel one, and children show you how the world can be wonderful as well as awful; the second question I answered by sponsoring children in third world countries, who I am really proud of.

Also, all the nasty bits like nappies, vomit etc. are a tiny percentage of the whole experience, there is so much more that is fun e.g. when your baby laughs for the first time, or is amazed at a rainbow, or says 'Mummy, I love you.' There is a lot of worrying though.

Re: Sharksarecute. Don't worry, I was 37 when I had my daughter so you are no age, believe me. 3 of my friends were a similar age when they had their first babies. You also give very good advice about doing everything you can before you have a child- I wish I had done more!

Hope this makes sense, I'm writing it in a rush with daughter on lap. You don't realise what busy and tired are til you have a child, believe me This post is meant to encourage people though, I only mean to be positive

[valli]

No, I don't want kids. I don't like them and I'm not very good with them either. Like DinerLandLord I cannot handle children misbehaving. I snap way too easily when I'm around them and I just feel that I wouldn't know what to do half of the time. I know this because I have a little brother who's 6 and he always brings out the worst in me. I could maybe consider having one if I felt secure enough with my "parenting skills", but I don't, so no kid for me But if I were to have one, I'd probably have my first when I'm around 25, but at least before I'm 30, simply because my mom had me when she was 26, and I've always had a close relationship with her and I want to have the same kind of relationship with my kid (if I have one that is ).

Even though I don't want kids, I've still decided on names I just love the names April Serenity and Liam Alexander So note to potential future husband: You don't get a say in what we're calling our child(ren)

[Dotti]

I also used to think of all the reasons not to have children e.g. why bring a child into this awful world? why bring a child into the world where there are so many others who need parents? To the first question I thought of the answer as: having a child is like sticking two fingers up at the world and making a positive contribution instead of letting the world beat you, and bringing another good person into it rather than a cruel one, and children show you how the world can be wonderful as well as awful; the second question I answered by sponsoring children in third world countries, who I am really proud of.

Also, all the nasty bits like nappies, vomit etc. are a tiny percentage of the whole experience, there is so much more that is fun e.g. when your baby laughs for the first time, or is amazed at a rainbow, or says 'Mummy, I love you.' There is a lot of worrying though.

Aww that was so lovely! Now I want a baby

[Lise]

If I ever find someone to have kids with then yes, I'd definitely have them. I work with babies so I get plently of practice. Nappies don't bother me, at all - the quicker you get it done, the quicker it's over. I can't handle the vomit, though.

Like others have said the good stuff more than makes up for the bad stuff. Watching them learn and grow is amazing.

[SAB]

I like children who are well behaved and non-smelly/gross, so I don't think I would make a good parent. Changing dirty nappies or wiping up puke are not things I could ever do, and I simply could not tolerate tantrums or bad behaviour of any sort.

same here! I had trouble watching them do it on the "Baby Borrowers", let alone in real life!

[Dotti]

Here's a question to those people keen on having kids: What would you do/how would you feel if you're baby was born with a disability, not only a mental disability but a physical one too. Let's face it the majority of people picture their baby a regular healthy baby so how would you react in this situation and have you consider these possiblities?

[Georgia]

I haven't really considered this, because I'm not ready for kids, but I'll have a go at answering those questions.

My Mum used to help disabled children at my primary school, both mentally and phyiscally. She worked with one boy for a few years, and helped out with the disabled girl at my school.

I think, if you really wanted a child, then if they had a disability, you would still love them. It would be harder, but you would be able to cope.