'For Ben'

[Georgia]

Are you ready? Half of me really wants to post this, and the other part just wants to never post the final chapter, and keep this story going on forever. But I can't do that... so the half of me that wants to post has won. Oh, and although this is the last chapter, tomorrow I have something else to post for you awesome guys. It's not an epilogue or anything, it's thank you's. So take a look if you want. And now I'm going to stop delaying, and post

Final Chapter: 'For Ben'

“Something’s wrong Nicole”, Aden whispered as soon as Belle had fallen asleep, his voice dripping with fear.

“Of course something’s wrong. Belle, the love of your life and my best friend, is lying in a hospital bed. She’s dying Aden, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. I haven’t spoken to her in years, and now she’s dying. There is so much that we haven’t done... that we haven’t discussed. Of course something’s wrong”, Nicole repeated, her eyes filling with tears at the thought of Belle not existing anymore.

“It’s getting worse. I can feel it”, Aden said softly, and Nicole looked around in shock.

“Why are you telling me? Why don’t you go and tell Cameron. There’s got to be something that they can do... they can’t just give up”, Nicole basically screeched, startling Belle into waking up.

“What... what’s g-going on in h-h-here... are y-y-y-you guys causing trouble?” Belle stammered, and Aden and Nicole exchanged a concerned glance, Nicole’s eyebrows furrowing towards her nose, and Aden’s eyes filling with tears.

“Just talking about you babe”, Aden said quietly, trying not to show the pain that he couldn’t force out of his tone.

“That must be why my ears are burning”, she whimpered, so quietly that Aden and Nicole had to lean forward to catch it. “Where’s Ben, Cameron and Jasmine?” she stuttered, and Nicole bent over on the illusion of tying up her shoe, while trying to wipe away the tears that were rolling ferociously down her cheeks.

“Cameron’s in his office and Jasmine is looking after Ben for the day”, Aden explained

“Aden... I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too much. I want it to be over”, Belle sobbed, and Nicole backed out of the room unseen, leaving them with some alone time, the only gift that she could give them now.

“Belle, babe, you have been so brave. You can do this for a little bit longer. Just give me a little bit more time Belle. I’ve only just got you back. I need some time to say goodbye”.

“I can’t give you any more time Aden. I’m not strong enough to get through another day in this hell. Please Aden, just make it stop. I’ve got so many machines attached to me, so many machines... I’m not doing anything by myself anymore. It’s not dignified Aden... I just want to die with whatever dignity I have left”, she cried, and Aden felt his heart shatter in half. All he wanted was to help her... to let her escape the pain, but at the same time, he couldn’t bear to let her go.

“Please”, he whispered, his voice breaking in the middle of that one word, and Belle’s eyes filled with tears looking at him.

How could she say no? How could she beg Aden to let her go, to say goodbye to her, when he desperately needed her to stay? If she truly loved him then there should be no discussion. She should be fighting for every breath, and ignoring the pain, because Aden needed her.

But this was different. She’d do anything for Aden, absolutely anything, apart from this. Because no matter how many times she had thought about showing him just how much she cared, she couldn’t do it now, and Aden had to understand that. It was her turn to be selfish, her turn to let go, and if Aden didn’t get that, then he wasn’t the man she thought he was.

“I can’t hang on Aden, no matter how much I love you. I can’t fight off death, because no matter how hard I fight, it will always claim me. It’s coming Aden, and I’m terrified, because I don’t know what will happen next, because I haven’t been able to rehearse for this, but at the same time, I’m kind of relieved,” Belle whispered, her voice soft and calming, attempting to soothe Aden, as she knew that he wouldn’t take it well.

“You’re relieved about dying? Is it really that bad being in a relationship with me?” he questioned, his voice so small that Belle had to lean forward to catch it, wincing in pain at the sudden movement.

“No, of course it isn’t. That came out wrong. I’m sorry. All I’m trying to say is that I’m relieved that it’s actually all over. It’s scary as hell leaving you behind, but at the same time, I feel like I’m finished here. I know that doesn’t make any sense, and I don’t really know how to explain it. I feel like I’m a constant contradiction, but it all makes sense in my head”

“It’s your turn to be selfish. It’s your turn to give up. It’s your turn to feel relieved”, he says, his voice sounding stronger than any other time in the last couple of days.

“It’s my turn”, Belle echoed, her voice cracking in the middle of her words. She wanted to be strong, to be able to deal with the pain, and support Aden at the same time, but despite the impassioned speeches she had been giving all day, she needed his strength. She was terrified of dying, and that terror completely over clouded the “relief” she was feeling.

In all honesty, Belle wasn’t relieved that she was dying. She wasn’t glad her life was over. She wanted nothing more than to stay with Aden, to get to know Ben, and become friends with Nicole all over again, but she had to pretend she was relieved to be dying.

If she told Aden that she was scared, he would make her hold on, and she couldn’t do that anymore. Belle was tired, so she tried to force that tired feeling into something else, something that would explain why she couldn’t hang on any longer.

And as Belle leaned back against her seven pillows, all brought in from home and struggled to take in her next breath, she realized that the hand she had been dealt: sucked.

“I love you Belle”, Aden whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks and dripping onto her hand, as he took a seat next to the bed.

As Belle took in one last breath, she whispered words that Aden had been longing to hear. “I.... love.... you”. And then the sound of breathing stopped, and Belle didn’t feel scared anymore. She didn’t feel anything. She was gone.

All Aden felt was unbearable pain, as he realized that he was alone in this world, and Belle was gone. The tears choked him, and he squeezed Belle’s hand, desperately trying to wake her up, but failing.

And those words, the three words, the eight letters he had been longing to hear for months, would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Leaning over, he placed a soft kiss against Belle’s cheek, biting back on the hatred he felt as he understood just how selfish she had been.

After months of dating, and Belle avoiding the subject of the future, or love, she had finally admitted that she loved him. But how could he cherish those words, and feel all happy and bubbly inside when Belle was dead.

“For the record, I love you too... not that you waited for me to tell you. God Belle, I love you. I love you more than anyone else in the world, but right now... I hate you. You’ve been unbelievably selfish, because you believe it’s your turn. And I get it. You were in pain. But to tell me that you love me just as you die... to give me everything I want, while snatching it away... I hate you”, he whispered, before walking out of the hospital room, needing to be away from her.

As he crossed the thresh-hold of the room Belle was in into the hallway everything hit him. Tears streaming down his cheeks fiercely he leant up against the wall and screamed out in pain as his back slid down the wall, crouching on the floor as he finally let everything he had been holding back fall.

Because now that Belle was gone; so was he.

So, what do you think ? I've never been more nervous about posting something Do you wish I'd never written this story? Do you want a sequel? Do you want this to all be a horrible dream? I'd love your honest opinions... --waits anxiously--

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