Distance and Time

[charmed60]

Thank you so so much Red Ranger, Carina, Barbara, Kirsty and katie....your responses are as always greatly appreciated. I've been trying very hard to refer to the baby as a he all the way through when I knew I was planning on it being a girl so I'm pleased you guys enjoyed it

“Rachel, I’d really prefer it if you stayed in bed for a little longer. You’ve just had major surgery” Derek lectured; having joined them when he’d heard about their baby’s

rush to the special care unit.

“I want to see my baby. I need to know that she’s okay” Rachel brushed off, clinging to Tony as he reluctantly supported her into a wheelchair. The pain in her stomach was intense but she wasn’t going to let it stop her from seeing her little girl; she hadn’t even touched her, hadn’t stroked her hair and let her tiny fingers clasp onto hers.

“Maybe Derek’s right Rach” Tony hesitantly agreed; hating seeing Rachel in so much pain. Despite her insistence that she was fine; she couldn’t hide the way her jaw tensed up every time she moved and the way her eyes would water.

“I’m in the chair now; we might as well go” Rachel smiled sweetly, breathing a sigh of relief as Tony rolled his eyes and pushed her out of the room. She twiddled her thumbs in her hands; it was silly but she was really nervous. What if her daughter didn’t like her? What if she cried when Rachel held her and she wasn’t able to comfort her? What if she was a bad mother? Her heart began to race as she was wheeled past a large window showing lines of tiny incubators on the other side, her eyes desperately searching for the one her baby was lying in.

“Dr Armstrong” a nurse greeted as she turned the corner.

“Rachel please” she smiled. She wanted to be treated like a normal patient while she was here, she didn’t want special treatment just because she was a doctor.

“And you must be the baby’s father” the nurse guessed, looking towards Tony. “Your little girl looks like you.” Tony smiled proudly and felt guilty for having previously

wanted her to stop talking and just show them his daughter. Rachel placed her hand over Tony’s and squeezed it.

“Follow me through here. She’s doing really well, she’s breathing completely on her own now but we would like to keep her in for a week or so just to keep an eye on her. Here she is.” The nurse pointed to an incubator at the far side of the rainbow themed room but neither Rachel nor Tony could see their baby as she’d stepped in front of it to open the lid and take her out. “Do you want to see your parents” the nurse cooed to their daughter and Rachel felt her hands go weak and shaky. “This little tube here is just to keep her hydrated” she continued to say as she placed the baby who was wrapped in a pale pink fleeced blanket into Rachel’s arms and left to give them some space.

Rachel couldn’t speak. She was perfect. Rachel reached her hand forward and stroked the little girl’s cheek, marvelling at how soft her skin was and her heart lifting as her daughter opened her eyes and moved her face towards Rachel’s hand. “Hey there beautiful,” Rachel wept; choking on her words. She was trying to take everything in but it was all too much. She felt Tony kneel down beside her before her reached his hand forward and allowed their little girl to wrap her fragile fingers around his.

“Rach she’s gorgeous” Tony whispered, afraid of speaking too loudly incase he frightened her. “I can’t believe we have a daughter.”

“I think we’re going to have to think of a new name; somehow I don’t think Matthew is going to suit you sweetheart” Rachel cooed, not once taking her eyes off of her little girl. Tony chuckled whilst placing her hand on Rachel’s back.

“The nurse was wrong, she looks exactly like her Mummy” Tony gushed, shaking his head in disbelief at her perfect tiny features. Her beautiful long dark eyelashes were striking, matching the colour of her hair perfectly. Rachel turned to look at him, tears streaming down her face.

“Hey, what’s wrong; it was meant to be a good thing” Tony soothed, wiping her tears from her face.

“It is” Rachel smiled, “it’s just it’s the first time I’ve been called a Mum. I can’t believe it’s happened, that she’s finally here. I love you so much.”

“I love you to” Tony beamed, wrapping his arm around Rachel and kissing her on the lips as he moved closer towards the little girl he’d always dreamed of and felt his heart lift when she looked directly into his eyes. He gazed at her as she began to look around at her surroundings before her bottom lip began to quiver.

“Hey it’s okay sweetheart, Mummy and Daddy are here, don’t cry” Tony soothed, kissing the back of her tiny hand. She fluttered her eyes and began to let sleep overcome her as Rachel rocked her gently in her arms and Tony watched them in amazement; proud of the family he’d created.

“Oh and Tony” Rachel whispered, breaking the silence that had befallen over them for what seemed like ages as their little girl slept soundly in her arms. “I was right you know. You do look really hot in scrubs.”

*****************************

Tony ran his fingers through his hair as he strolled down the hospital corridor, a slight smile plastered on his face that he hadn’t been able to wipe off since he’d seen his new daughter. His head was still spinning; he couldn’t believe that he was a Dad again or that he had a baby girl; it was something he’d always secretly wanted but thought the Holden’s were only able to produce boys. Despite the fact that exhaustion was filling every fibre in his body he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep, he was too excited. He yawned widely and considered sending Rachel a message to tell her how happy she’d made him but he didn’t want to wake her up, he’d sat with her for hours until she’d finally fallen asleep. As he passed the lift on his left he spotted a sign to the special care unit on the next floor up, causing him to hesitate. The temptation to see her again was building and he was finding it difficult to pull himself away. Screw it he muttered under his breath, stabbing his finger definitely to call the lift. Daddy’s coming little one he smiled wider, his heart racing with excitement.

*****************************

“So…” Martha started as she stroked Jack’s bare chest, playfully tickling him. “How does it feel to know you’ve got a little sister?”

“Really, really weird” Jack emphasised, running his fingers down her back as they lay snuggled up together in bed. “We’ve never had a girl born into our family, the poor kid’s doomed to be a tomboy surrounded by all these blokes.”

“Oh I don’t know about that” Martha disagreed, “if she’s anything like her Mum she’ll be stubborn enough and strong enough to boss all you boys around.”

“Yeah you might be right about that” Jack chuckled, closing his eyes peacefully.

“How are you feeling now?” Martha hesitated. They hadn’t spoken about the situation ever since his confrontation; he’d always stopped any hint of a conversation

beginning. But now he was in a good mood she wanted to talk about. “About Angelo” she added tentatively, hearing him draw a sharp breath in.

“Martha” he started, an irritated tone in his voice.

“Jack I know you don’t want to talk about it but it’s important” Martha begged, “remember you promised me that you wouldn’t shut me out after what happened with your Dad?”

“Yer I know” Jack whispered, admitting defeat. “In an ideal world I want to see him punished, I don’t even know how Martha but I really want to see him face punishment for what he did to this family.”

“I know, it seems so unfair” Martha agreed running her thumb down his cheek.

“But you know, Dad’s forgiven him. He’s learnt to focus on what is great in his life and maybe I should to. Focus on you, on us and our future.”

Martha beamed. “Really?” she shrieked. “You mean you’re okay with it now?”

“I’m never going to be okay” Jack shook his head. “But I am going to try and let it go. The hate, it began to completely consume me and my whole life became obsessed with revenge. I don’t want to be like that anymore. I want to be a good son and a good husband to you and a good brother to Luc and now to my little sister. And maybe one day, I’ll be able to be a great Dad to.”

Martha felt her heart stop beating for just a second. She’d always wanted children with Jack but had been too scared to bring it up, for fear that he would find the whole idea ridiculous.

“I like that idea” she smiled, not wanting to frighten him with her enthusiasm.

“Good” he breathed back, biting his lip as he tried to control the smile on his face. “That’s really good.”

Preview:

Tony spends some one on one time with his new daughter

[charmed60]

Thank you so much Red Ranger, Carina, callyha (please don't apologise, I know how hard it is to keep up with fics I'm really grateful for you even reading let alone reviewing) Chipsferryroxmisox (wow that's a long name ) and Barbara especially for your awesomely long and detailed comments. Sorry it's been so long, I've been busy busy This is a really teeny tiny update but the next one is the last and quite a long one which isn't completely finished yet so I thought I'd just add this in.

“Hey there little one” Tony smiled as the nurse handed his daughter to him, her eyes shut firmly in sleep. He leant back in the chair next to her incubator and gazed at her, at her tiny button nose and the adorable way in which her pink lips pursed together causing small dimples on her cheek. Tony readjusted the pale pink Winnie the Pooh hat which Jack and Martha had bought for her since her birth and pulled the knitted blanket tighter around her, he didn’t want her to feel cold.

“You sure made an entrance” Tony smiled, trying to process the days’ events. “I hope you’re not going to continue surprising me and Mummy like that or you’re going to be giving Daddy grey hairs and I’m too young for that” he chuckled ironically.

“She’s a girl, they’re known for their dramatic behaviour” the nurse interrupted.

“Is that right?” Tony questioned, looking up at her before turning his attention back to his daughter. “Well it looks like I’ve got a lot to learn then.” Tony’s eyes widened as

he watched his little girl yawn before blearily opening her eyes, blinking against the bright lights.

“Hey” Tony choked, “you’re so beautiful. Daddy’s special little girl; just don’t tell Mummy I said that” he whispered in her ear. “You know you’ve been born into a crazy world sweetheart but you don’t have to ever be scared or worried. You’ve got two big brothers who are going to look after you and a whole town of people who are going to watch over you. And you’ve got a Mummy whose going to love you more than anything in the world and…” he paused, smiling as she made tiny gurgling noises, looking completely uninterested in what he was saying. “And you’ve got a Daddy who despite every effort knows you’re going to be able to wrap him around his little finger.” Tony stroked her cheek, feeling his heart melt as she nestled closer in to him and gradually closed her eyes, her tiny chest raising with every breath she took.

“Night night sweetheart” Tony whispered, kissing her forehead gently. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Wow that was shorter than I thought really sorry!

Preview: Rachel and Tony adjust to their new lives as parents with the support of their friends and family.

And Carina - the next chapter is the one you've been waiting for

[charmed60]

Thank you so much callyha, Red Ranger, Carina, Kirsty, TimTam and Barbara. I honestly can't express enough how grateful I am for the lovely comments and continuous support. Well here it is...the final chapter. I have started writing a new fic that I hope you'll follow and enjoy to, I'll put the details about it in the Advertise Your Fanfic section. I'm also going to write a message to you all personally in here to thank you for everyone whose commented so pretty please could the mods leave my fic here just until I do that so people can see it and know how grateful I am. And thank you to all those who are reading but never commented

I hope you enjoy- it's a bit cheesy so sorry for that!

“She is so cute guys” Belle gushed as she cradled Tony and Rachel’s baby carefully in her arms, warily supporting her head as she had seen mentioned in all the baby books she’d read. “Look at her Aden, she’s looking straight at you.”

“She’s probably wondering who these funny looking people are, aren’t you kiddo” Aden joked, pulling animated faces at her.

“Aden she’s only a few weeks old, if you’re expecting her to laugh at you then you’re a few months too early” Belle giggled, shielding the baby’s eyes from her boyfriend’s view. “You’re going to need to practice on that one” she whispered, winking suspiciously at him.

“Noted” he beamed, instead allowing the little girl to clutch his finger tightly.

“Practise what” Tony questioned, raising his eyes suspiciously as he kept a protective eye on his new daughter. They’d only brought her home yesterday and already half of

Summer Bay had come knocking on their door, desperate for a glimpse at her.

“My arm is getting kinnda tired now; does someone else want to hold her?” Belle quickly jumped in, exaggerating her words.

“Me, me, me” Leah shrieked as she jumped up from the couch. “I can’t get enough of my beautiful little Goddaughter” she beamed, emphasising the latter word with pride as she reached down and took the little girl in her arms. “Oh sweetie it’s okay, it’s only your Auntie Leah” she cooed as the baby whinged softly.

“Babe we should tell them” Aden whispered, nudging his girlfriend as she kept her eyes forward and pushed him back.

“Not now Aden” Belle waved off.

“Rach what are you doing?” Tony called out as he heard the sound of plates banging together.

“I’m just doing some washing up, does anyone want another drink?” she asked as she poked her head from behind the partition separating the living room from the kitchen.

“No you are not” Tony lectured as he jumped up from his chair and guided her back to the living room, not even giving her a chance to wipe the soapy bubbles from her hands. “You have just had major surgery, you need to…”

“Rest, yes I know” she mocked, rolling her eyes as she thumped down on the settee and obediently raised her legs onto the footstool Tony pushed in front of her.

“Are you being a bad patient” Martha giggled as she waved her fingers in front of the little girls face and marvelled at the way he eyes widened in amazement.

“Yes she is” Tony interrupted before Rachel could answer. “She will not behave herself” he reprimanded, perching on the edge of her chair and wrapping his arm around her shoulders as she nestled into him despite his strictness.

“I know it’s hard to let the house go a bit Rach and the ironing but you need to just rest and enjoy being a new Mummy” Leah gently explained, remembering the guilt she felt at being unable to juggle motherhood and being a good wife when VJ was born.

“Oh I am, I do” Rachel explained, “trust me I’ve spent many hours just cuddling her, well when I can prize her off of her Daddy that is” she teased, winking at Tony as he playfully tickled her.

“That’s going to be us pretty soon” Aden teased Belle, poking her in the ribs before wincing as she punched him back spitefully in the chest.

“Okay what is going on with you two” Jack sighed exasperatedly, “I don’t want my little sister witnessing all this physical violence, spill” he joked, stroking her dark, wavy hair.

“Come on” Aden coaxed, “I’m desperate to tell people…”

“But, well….” Belle stuttered. “Guys this is your day to show off your beautiful new baby we don’t want to overshadow it.”

“Don’t be silly” Rachel waved off, “we’re all in suspense here.”

“Okay” Belle backed down, “well we were hoping if you guys would be able to give us some tips…” she hinted at the new parents, unable to wipe the smile from her face.

“Tips on what?” Tony asked blankly as Rachel gasped beside him.

“She’s pregnant” Rachel blurted out, rolling her eyes at her fiancé’s naivety. “That’s fantastic, congratulations” she beamed, as the room erupted in a combination of shrieks and smiles.

“Thanks everyone, we’re pretty excited” Aden grinned, shaking hands with Jack and Tony. “Got any tips on how to deal with a hormonal woman coach?”

“Don’t even answer that one…” Rachel jumped in, raising her eyebrow at her fiancé.

“A pregnant woman is always right. You remember that and you’ll get along just fine” Tony winked, picking his words carefully as the women in the room nodded enthusiastically in agreement. “Isn’t that right love?”

“Perfectly” she beamed, “and if ever need anyone to talk about all the gory stuff then you know you can come to me Belle” Rachel offered.

“Thank you, I’m sure I’ll be taking you up on that on many occasions, I’m really nervous” she admitted, biting her bottom lip.

“You’ll be fine sweetie, you’ve got all of us here to help you” Rachel smiled.

“Yeah you won’t be going through it on your own babe I promise” Aden smiled, kissing her head gently as she snuggled up to him. Their silence was broken as the little girl in Leah’s arms began to wail, her face reddening as tiny tears trickled down her cheeks.

“She probably needs her nappy changed, I’ll do it” Jack offered, jumping up from the couch as he walked towards her. Having her around had made him seriously think about starting a family with Martha; he’d always wondered whether he would be a good Dad and the fear that he wouldn’t had stopped him from suggesting the idea. But from the moment he saw his sister he fell in love with her and he actually found himself wishing he had a child to look after and love; he even found himself feeling disappointed when he had to give her back to his Dad and Rachel after a cuddle. He saw the spark in Martha’s eye when she held her and knew she would make an incredible mother. It was time to stop worrying about the future and start living it instead.

“I’ll help” Lucas offered, heading into the kitchen to grab a nappy from the pack on the table. A part of him had always wondered whether he would feel jealous of her, of the fact that she would be demanding so much of his Dad’s attention and because she represented the new family he had now. But he was relieved to see that wasn’t the case at all. Despite having a new daughter his Dad hadn’t stopped pestering him for the copy of his book and he’d even taken the opportunity when Rachel and the baby were still in hospital to spend some time with him and Jack. Lucas had found that if he actually involved himself; offering to help out with his sister and let Jack lean on him for advice that he truly felt like part of the family and it made him realise how much his Dad really did love him. All these years he’d watched from the sidelines, excluding himself because he thought he wasn’t loved enough or worthy enough. He’d wasted so much time hating his Dad and resenting his brother that he felt like he hadn’t really lived. Well now it was time to start living.

“Don’t worry guys, I think what she really wants is a cuddle from her Daddy isn’t that right sweetheart” Tony cooed as he picked the tiny bundle up from Leah’s arms and brought her to lay on his chest. “She’s probably just overwhelmed from all this attention, I’ll go and put her down for a nap” he smiled at Rachel, kissing his daughter’s soft hair as he slowly moved towards their bedroom.

“He is besotted” Leah gushed once Tony was out of earshot, “you’re a lucky girl Rachel.”

“Oh trust me I know” Rachel smiled proudly, her heart warming at the sight of Tony and their daughter together. He’d been amazing ever since they’d brought her home, refusing to let her lift a finger and volunteering to do everything; from night feeds to dirty nappies. “I might actually just go check she’s gone down okay” Rachel explained, leaving her guests to entertain themselves whilst she headed into her bedroom. Her heart melted as she saw Tony cradling their little girl in his arms through the gap in the door, stroking the gap in between eyes in order to soothe her to sleep.

“Do you think she’s always going to be this good” Tony whispered as Rachel carefully sat down on the bed beside him, linking her arm through his as they watched their daughter’s eyes flutter closed.

“Hmm I think she’s lulling us into a false sense of security” she laughed, stroking her hair gently.

“Yeah I think you’re right. She’s far too well behaved to be her mother’s daughter” Tony joked, wincing as the thump to his arm that he was expecting came as if on cue.

“You’re mean” Rachel frowned despite deep down thinking he was probably right.

“I’ll tell you one thing she does take after from you and that is her looks. She’s beautiful just like her Mummy” he winked; “and her eyes. They’re definitely you.”

“Really?” Rachel sighed, “I don’t know, whenever I look at her I can just see you, even down to that tiny dimple she gets on her chin when she yawns like her Daddy.”

Tony smiled, his eyes scanning his daughter’s face as he tried to see himself in her. “You know I’ve been thinking about names and there’s one that I really like…”

“Oh what is it?” Rachel enquired, desperate to know. They’d struggled to find a name for her ever since she was born, anything they came up with didn’t seem to suit her and it had been frustrating having to call her “the baby.” It seemed so wrong.

“Ella” Tony whispered, “it means shining one.”

“I love it” Rachel gasped, “it suits her perfectly. What do you think Ella, do you like it?” she cooed as Tony cradled her head in his hands and passed her over to her Mum.

“Ella Grace Holden” Tony muttered, smiling down at her proudly. “You know, she looks just like you Rach. I think it’s her eyes. They’re just like yours.”

Rachel paused. “No I…” Sometimes she forgot about Tony’s memory difficulties, forgot that there had ever been a point where she thought she’d lost him; that she was going to have to raise their baby alone. But every now and then Tony would repeat something so innocently and she’d remember what they’d been through, what they’d had to experience to get to this point. She didn’t want to battle with Tony anymore, she didn’t want to get angry with him for repeating himself or point out that he’d already said that to her. This was their life now and it was always going to be this way.

“You know what I think you’re right” Rachel agreed, “she definitely has my eyes.” Her family might not be perfect, but it was pretty damn close. And she loved them both just the way they were.

Thank you again everyone

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