Lady Frankerley's Lover

[Red Ranger 1]

Nicole had taken Romeo into the drawing room almost without thinking. Once there he seemed to loiter awkwardly near the entrance. ‘Do you wish me to pour for you, your ladyship?’

‘What?’ It occurred to Nicole that the service may provide an explanation for her odd behaviour. ‘Oh, yes, a small sherry, please.’

As Romeo busied himself with the glass, he shot her a look. ‘You didn’t have to step in with the ruffians out of there. I could have handled it.’

‘But do you not object to such comments?’

‘Well, yes. But it is just something I have to put up with, for now.’

‘For now?’ Nicole repeated.

Romeo looked as if he had said too much. ‘My, ah, my benefactor, Lord Holden, thinks I should lie low for a while. The people who are after me, you understand.’

‘Oh, yes, of course. What a life fraught with danger you must lead.’ Images flashed through her mind of Romeo in a variety of romantic situations, fighting pirates with a cutlass, leading a bold charge of the light brigade, sharing forbidden liaisons with his one true love on the windswept moors…

‘It’s not all that fun, I can tell you,’ he replied, passing her the glass.

She took it, being very careful to ensure that her hand brushed against his as she did so. ‘Well, so long as you are in this household, I will see that you come to no harm.’

‘I appreciate it, your ladyship.’

She sighed at the formal address. ‘Must you call me by such impersonal titles all the time? I would so like to hear you call me Nicole.’

He looked uncomfortable. ‘Well, I can think of several good reasons why I shouldn’t…’

‘You in here, Smith?’ came the familiar below of Copeland as he entered the room. He bowed slightly to Nicole. ‘Forgive the intrusion, your ladyship, but unless you require him for some specific purpose…’

Nicole hastily gathered her thoughts. ‘Why, no, Copeland, he is yours for the moment. Provided you do not allow a repeat of the situation that occurred outside. Our staff are not to be harangued in such a fashion or I will be forced to involve my husband.’

‘Of course, your ladyship.’

Nicole noticed for the first time that a rather ordinary looking dog, a female whippet, was loitering near Copeland’s leg. ‘Copeland, may I ask who that animal is?’

‘Not sure, your ladyship. She just seems to have adopted me. She’s perfectly harmless though. Come on, Rabbit.’ He glanced at his under gamekeeper-cum-footman. ‘You too, Smith.’

As the curious trio left, Penn came wheeling his way into the sitting room. ‘My dear, I have just received the most unexpected telegram. It is from an old army colleague of mine, Captain Rosetta. He has urgent business in the area and is asking to lodge with us.’

‘Well, of course, dearest. It will be interesting to have the signore stay. I will instruct Mrs. Roberts to prepare a room for him at once.’

Lord Holden made his way cautiously to the part of the grounds where he was due to meet his colleague, trusting that his staff had obeyed his instructions to avoid the area for the next few hours. ‘Must you dress like that?’ he asked wearily once the other was in sight.

Hugo looked down at his gypsy clothes with a shrug. ‘I thought it suited me quite well.’

‘It provides yet another reason for me not to be seen with you,’ Holden fired back. ‘You have news?’

‘I have spoken with Smith,’ Hugo explained.

Holden looked back and forth warily. ‘It would be better if you were not to use that name. It might arouse suspicion if overheard.’

‘Using his real name would be even more suspicious.’

‘True,’ Holden conceeded. ‘How is he?’

‘Safe. For the moment.’

‘Good. Keep a close eye on him. You’re better placed to do that.’

‘Do you really trust these people to look after him?’

Lord Holden gave a shrug. ‘He should be quite safe with the Frankerleys. Lord Penn is unlikely to notice anything going on.’

‘Captain Rosetta, your lordship, your ladyship.’ Ruby gave a quick curtesey for good measure before stepping aside and allowing their guest to enter the room.

Nicole offered her hand to their guest. ‘Benvenuto alla nostra casa, signore capitano.’

Rosetta responded in a language and accent that was most definitely not Italian. ‘Bonzer, sheila.’

‘Captain Rosetta was in the Anzacs,’ Penn explained smoothly.

Nicole flushed slightly. ‘I apologise for my assumption.’

‘That’s all right, your ladyship,’ Rosetta replied. ‘Your Italian was real beaut. Made me feel like I was back in the old country.’

‘May I present our other house guest, Miss Buckton,’ Penn offered.

Miss Buckton was stood off to one side, the notebook present in her hand as always. ‘I am most delighted to make your acquaintance, captain. You must tell me your stories of brave deeds in the trenches. Such tales are music to a writer’s ears.’

‘Well, I’d be quite happy to, Miss Buckton,’ Rosetta agreed. ‘But I was hoping to have a catch up with old Penny here, former comrades and all that.’

‘I’m sure there’ll be plenty of time for you and Miss Buckton to converse,’ Penn told him. ‘But I am certain that now you need to refresh yourself after your long journey. Ruby, if you wouldn’t mind, please show Captain Rosetta up to his room.’

Rosetta had persuaded Ruby to take her leave of him once he had been shown his room. He was not alone in his own company for long before there was a rap at the door and Miss Buckton stormed in. He hastily closed the door behind her. ‘Did anyone see you?’

‘Never mind that. What are you doing here? And why are you talking in that ridiculous dialect?’

‘Well, it’s how everyone here thinks Australians speak.’

Miss Buckton waited a moment. ‘And my second question? What are you doing here? And when do I get paid?’

‘When the job’s complete. We need to find out if this Smith is who we think he is. Although with the Holdens close by, I’d say there’s a fair chance.’

‘And what happens when we do find out?’

Rosetta swallowed hard. ‘Well, that’s one of those questions that I find it’s best not to ask…’

[Miranda]

Lady Nicole felt she was at a loose end. She didn’t know whether it was a coincidence or by design but Stewart, the head gamekeeper, found so much work for Smith to do. As did Copeland. Smith didn’t seem to have a spare moment between his outdoor and indoor duties.

Her husband was wrapped up with his old colleague, Rosetta, and they were always to be found drinking whiskey and singing lewd songs from army days. When they weren’t chatting up Miss Buckton, who was always at hand with her notebook and pen.

Nicole wondered if she had become invisible. She decided to make use of this newfound faculty, and slipped out of the house on a fresh spring day. She wandered towards the woods. They smelled of the recent rain, the ground and leaves steamed with evaporation as the sun dried the raindrops.

She found herself in a clearing. She didn’t know how far her wandering had taken her from the house and wondered with trepidation where she was. She hadn’t left the grounds of the manor, she was sure of that.

She suddenly heard a soft cheeping and followed the sound to its source, a small low cage. It was full of tiny yellow chicks, all squeaking and pecking. She was entranced, and dropped to her knees to inspect them.

‘Ahh… why are you here?’ she asked them, knowing they couldn’t reply.

‘For egg laying, madam,’ said a voice behind her. ‘They are newly hatched females.’ She jumped up in shock, to see Romeo Smith standing nearby. His brown and green gamekeepers’ clothing camouflaged him perfectly and he must have been there all the time.

She stood up and prepared to speak, but before she could, there was a crash of thunder and rain hammered down. Her pale pink flimsy dress clung to her body and she screamed with shock.

‘Quick m’lady.’ Smith ran over and grabbed her hand. ‘Into my hut. Its not grand, but it’ll do.’

They ran hand in hand to the hut. Nicole was worried about what a sight she must look, hair flattened and dark with water.

The hut’s interior was shockingly basic. Rough hand cut planks made up the floor and walls. It was one room, with a cooking area at one end, and an old metal framed bed in the sleeping area at the other.

‘I’ll get t’fire started,’ said Romeo, remembering to speak in a Yorkshire accent again. He glanced over at Nicole and saw she was shivering violently. Her dress clung to her ample bosom and she looked in need of warmth. Romeo quickly ripped off his gamekeeper’s jacket and wrapped it round her.

‘Til I get t’fire going, madam.’

The cold did not stop Nicole noticing his glistening muscly torso, he was like a sculpture she had seen in Italy. He leaned over the fire, stoking it like some half naked earth bound Hephaestus, crafting metal into objects for human use.

Nicole simply gazed, speechless with lust. Romeo turned and caught her eye.

‘Do you feel warmer, m’lady?’

Nicole could only nod, unable to form words. Romeo stepped towards her, without knowing why. She looked so appealing, a fragile woman wrapped in a rough man’s jacket. And was that her ankle peeping out of her drenched skirt? He almost swooned at the sight, because women’s ankles were carefully hidden in the society of the day.

‘Nicole, I-‘

She leapt up to meet him, and fell into his arms. Pressed against his muscular chest, her heart fluttered wildly against him, feeling his own hammering heart matching hers. He kissed her passionately, she responded with equal ardour and after a while, he carried her to the coarsely fashioned bed and they both finally gave in to their long suppressed desires.

*******

Meanwhile, Miss Buckton was wearily enduring yet another session of Rosetta and Penn’s riotous singing sessions.

‘Take a seat, Miss Buckton, or may I call you Charlie?’ Penn patted his lap invitingly.

‘Oh, no, I really don’t think I should, Lord Frankerley. You are a married man.’

‘Oh yes, so I am. Er, some sherry?’

Rosetta raised his eyebrows at Miss Buckton.

‘No, thank you. I must be going, I need to make notes for my story.’ She swished out.

Her objective today, as Rosetta had reminded her with his secret signal just then, was to investigate Smith’s environment and how he fitted in to the manor and its wider society. This would involve observing where he actually worked.

******

She set off for the kitchen, the hub of the servants’ world, to make enquiries, but bumped into the butler in the hallway.

‘My good man, could you tell me the whereabouts of Mr Smith, the footman-cum-gamekeeper?’

Copeland sneered.

‘I know not, madam. That man is a law unto himself.’

‘What do his duties consist of?’

‘May I ask why you need to know such information?’

‘I am writing a detective novel. Finding out information is my profession.’

Copeland seemed satisfied with that.

‘Mr Smith is under Mr Stewart today. His game keeping takes precedence, I’m afraid, over my small domain of keeping the manor running

efficiently.’ He flounced out of the room, leaving Miss Buckton wondering how she had offended.

She headed to the kitchen in search of the cook, Mrs Bellingham, whose reputation preceded her. Miss Buckton heard a loud argument before she reached her destination, however, and hid in the hallway.

‘Tis a scandal,’ the cook declared in firm tones. ‘Her ladyship favours Smith most unfairly. The way she removed him from the herb garden was indecent.’

‘But, in truth, he was being cruelly teased,’ said another voice, which sounded like Mrs Roberts, the housekeeper.

‘A man should be able to stand up to teasing himself, not rely on his patron to protect him! There is an unnatural relationship there, mark my words!’

‘Ooh, Mrs Roberts, tell Mrs Bellingham what you know about her Ladyship and Smith!’

‘Quiet, Belle, continue stirring the cake mixture,’ retorted Mrs Roberts. ‘You are such a tittle tattle.’

‘What is this? What do you know?’ inquired the cook. ‘Tell me, or I shall ask her Ladyship herself!’

Miss Buckton could imagine the other ladies cowering in front of the terrifying cook.

‘Oh-er- it’s just that I caught her ladyship in Smith’s bedchamber the other night.’

‘What?’ roared the cook. ‘His bedchamber?’

Worried that this shouting might alert the whole household, Miss Buckton stepped through the door. She saw what she expected, the cook pacing up and down in front of the range, Mrs Roberts drinking tea at the table, and the kitchen maid, Belle, stirring the cake mixture dreamily.

‘I am sorry to interrupt your work, good women. Where is Smith, the footman-cum-gamekeeper?’

‘Another lady chasing after that young scoundrel!’ bellowed Mrs Bellingham. ‘He is not indoors today, Miss Buckton, please go and find him yourself, and take your questions elsewhere.’

Mrs Roberts ushered the writer to the door. ‘Best go, Miss. Mrs B is in one of her moods. Smith will be in the woods today, with Stewart. They are attending to the new spring stock.’

Miss Buckton turned away, then almost bumped into another young man.

‘Beggin pardon Miss.’ It was the coachman, Jefferies. ‘Is Belle in the kitchen?’

Miss Buckton nodded. Jefferies had a romantic look, and she had no doubt he had romantic intentions towards the put upon kitchen maid. How sweet.

‘Tell me Jeffries. Do you know where Mr Smith can be found today?’

‘Aye Miss. He is working with Mr Stewart today.’ The burly coachman gave her directions to the gamekeepers’ place of work, and bade her good day.

******

Not so far away, two men were plotting in a rough den of vice. One was Dr Sidney Walker, the other bore the name Palmer.

‘I know of our target,’ said Walker. ‘I have observed him in the house of my neighbour, the Lord Frankerley, a bitter tempered cripple. I tried to insinuate myself with his buxom young wife, but she rejected my advances.’

The young man with him laughed raucously. ‘You fancy yourself conqueror of all womanhood, Walker, yet you can’t enchant just one? You’ve lost your talent.’

‘No matter, tis nothing. We must press on with our plans to bring down the heir of the Holden riches. Nicole Frankerley is but a trifle.’

‘What are your plans then, Walker?’

‘We must confront the gamekeeper alone, and remove him to a place where he will meet his doom.’

‘Do you mean kill him? My step father wants to interrogate him first. He will not be pleased with us taking the law unto ourselves.’

‘No, you misunderstand me, boy! I said we must remove him. Keep him hidden, then his allies will reveal themselves and it will assist our leader to marshal his own forces.’

‘Oh, I see.’

‘These are my plans…’ Walker spread a large parchment on the table and he and his accomplice pored over it.

*********

Elsewhere, Nicole and Romeo were waking up contentedly, wrapped in the rough blankets and sheets of the gamekeeper’s bed.

‘I didn’t know you felt that way,’ she whispered dreamily, gazing into his eyes.

‘Ah, I keep my feelings to myself. Usually.’ He laughed, stroking her naked arm.

‘Not today however.’ She giggled too.

‘How shall we keep this secret? I don’t want to ruin your reputation.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean that in this day and age, a working class fellow such as I- er- liaising- with an upper class lady such as yourself would cause no end of scandal in both our societies.’

‘I hadn’t thought of that.’

‘To say nothing of the politics of the situation. I threw my hat in with the socialists long ago, whereas you and your husband undoubtedly support the Tory party. People from different political parties- er- liaising- would cause and even bigger scandal. Your husband is a Member of Parliament, the newspapers would have a field day.’

Nicole had no idea that Romeo was such a deep thinker. It made her admire him even more as she hadn’t even considered those aspects of their connection.

‘And there is my illegitimate background, and my other circumstances-‘

‘Are you saying you regret what just occurred?’ Nicole prepared to leave, but he would not let her go.

‘Definitely not.’ He kissed her for a long time, to prove this. ‘I don’t care about such things, Nicole.’

‘I thought after that night in your bedchamber you had no feelings for me in any sense.’

‘Do you jest? I didn’t want to take advantage of your in your weakened condition.’

‘You should have done, I wanted you to. But at least I now know of your true feelings.’

*********

Miss Buckton had finally found her way to the clearing where the tiny chicks dwelt. She was distracted momentarily by them, but finally steeled herself to leave them and headed for the hut. Creeping round the side until she found a window, she then realised it was too high for her to see into. She looked round for something to aid her, and spied some firewood.

After a great deal of effort, she made a pile tall enough to allow her to look through the window. Peering in, she gasped with shock at the sight, and stepped back suddenly, falling off the logs.

‘Careful now,’ said a voice, and a swarthy man caught her, setting her on her feet safely. Unbeknownst to her, it was Dr Sidney Walker, who worked for the shadowy Palmer clan. Under the trees stood his accomplice, the more sinister Trey, with a weapon in his boot.

[Red Ranger 1]

I add my thanks to Miranda's for the comments on this, glad you're liking it.

***

‘And who might you be?’ asked Dr. Walker.

Miss Buckton pulled free from his grip with a certain amount of dignity. ‘Miss Charlotte Buckton, a guest of Lord Penn. And who are you, sir?’

He seemed to shift uncomfortably for a moment before answering, ‘Dr. Walker. Local practitioner. I have been called to attend upon His Lordship at times, I mistook you for an intruder.’

Trey Palmer stepped forward. ‘Buckton? I know that name.’

‘I think not, young man,’ Miss Buckton insisted.

But Palmer was nodding decisively. ‘Rosetta! He was receiving messages from a Miss Buckton.’

‘Rosetta?’ Walker asked.

‘One of these people who insists on being called captain when he hasn’t worn a uniform since he left France. My stepfather has made use of him.’

‘Your stepfather is Mr. Palmer?’ A slight smile spread across Miss Buckton’s lips. ‘If your quarry is Smith, gentlemen, it would be best not to join him for the moment.’

The pair peered through the window as she had and soon they were both smiling too. ‘I see what you mean about buxom,’ Palmer remarked.

Walker nodded. ‘This could be to our advantage…’

Smith draped Nicole’s blouse around her bare shoulders, slowly fastening the buttons. ‘Seems a bit of a waste, your ladyship.’ He saw her quizzical look. ‘Covering it up.’

She gave him an embarrassed look. ‘Romeo… after what just happened, could you please call me Nicole?’

‘Just not in polite company, eh?’

She patted his hand gently. ‘I would like for us to have more times together like this.’ Her eyes took in the rest of his body. She would have mentally undressed him, except he was undressed already.

‘Well, yer know where I live,’ he replied.

She nodded. ‘And we have this place. Perhaps we could arrange to meet here again?’

‘So we could stoke the boiler?’

Nicole looked around, puzzled. ‘You don’t have a boiler.’

‘It’s an expression, your…Nicoleship.’

‘Oh.’ She blushed slightly. ‘Thank you, Smith.’

‘Oh, it was a pleasure, my lady.’

For some reason, Penn had taken it upon himself to invite a motley collection of guests to dinner. As well as himself and Nicole, and Rosetta and Miss Buckton, there was Lord and Lady Holden and Dr. Walker. Smith was waiting table, pouring a wine for each of them. ‘Thank you, Smith,’ Penn said at last. ‘That will be all.’

Smith gave a curt nod before leaving the room, his gaze resting on Nicole for a little longer than normal. She flushed slightly then told herself she was being silly. It wasn’t as if anyone there knew what had transpired between them.

‘Smith seems to be shaping up well in his new capacity,’ Penn remarked.

‘I’m sure the guests don’t wish to discuss the servants, my dear,’ Nicole suggested.

‘Not at all. After all, Lord Holden has a vested interest in him, does he not?’

Rosetta looked at Holden curiously. ‘Is that so, my lord?’

Holden waved a hand dismissively. ‘One has certain responsibilities.’

‘Responsibilities which we are quite happy to discharge to Lord Penn,’ Lady Rachel added.

‘And what responsibilities are those?’ Miss Buckton asked, a notebook and pen appearing in her hands as if by magic.

‘Merely the responsibilities of seeing him in gainful employment,’ Lord Holden replied. ‘His parents both took to drink, I felt it was my duty under noblise obligee to take him in.’

‘What do you make of him, Doctor?’ Lord Penn asked.

‘Oh, I’m sure Dr. Walker has paid no attention to him,’ Nicole attempted.

There was a slight smirk on Dr. Walker’s face. ‘I’ve seen quite a bit of him actually. But I can’t say I’ve ever spoken to him or given him much thought. He is what he is.’

‘Aren’t we all?’ Rosetta asked.

‘I don’t know, captain. Tell me, what regiment are you in again?’

‘If you ceased to practise, doctor, I imagine you would continue to use your title. I see no reason why I should be any different. Eh, Penny?’

Penn smiled. ‘When one has a title and inheritance such as mine, Rosetta, former military positions pale in comparison. But you are entitled to do so all the same. Smith, of course, has no title. Just a little room in the servants’ quarters. West wing, lower corridor, second on the left.’

Dr. Walker appeared to burn his tongue on a mouthful of soup. Miss Buckton jotted furiously in her notebook. Lord Holden shot a worried glance around the room, as though making sure there was no-one there he hadn’t noticed.

Dr. Walker got up from the table abruptly. ‘Pardon me, your lordship, but I’ve suddenly recalled a patient I was supposed to check on this evening. May I use your telephone?’

Penn gave him an indulgent smile. ‘By all means, doctor.’

Checking no-one else was within earshot, Dr. Walker lifted the receiver and gave the number to the operator, waiting until he heard the click of an answer at the other end. ‘Palmer? Walker here. I’ve just heard something that could be a great deal of use to us…’

[Miranda]

Later that night, snores rent the air. Mrs Bellingham would have kept most of the servants awake with her nocturnal clamour, but they were accustomed to it and used ear plugs.

However, this noise played into the hands of the two silhouetted figures on the roof of the Manor. Silently, they prepared their equipment.

‘But Walker,’ said the younger one. ‘I still don’t see why we have to abseil down the building.’

The doctor sighed and explained yet again to his companion.

Trey, however, still didn’t see the point. He was beginning to wonder what the whole point of his stepfather’s plan was anyway. He liked blowing things up, not sneaking around.

But he had no choice. His stepfather was even more violent than he, so he didn’t dare to disobey. He followed Walker down the side of the building, bouncing like a rabbit.

The pair reached their destination.

‘Now,’ hissed Walker. ‘Throw it in.’ Trey obediently tossed a small lemon shaped object through the open window of a bed chamber, which rolled under the bed and began seeping gas. He shut the window tightly.

The two figures quickly unhooked themselves and hastened off into the darkness.

A little while later, two people entered the room, holding candles.

‘This is it,’ hissed one. ‘I’ll wager that Smith won’t be back for a long time, so we must be quick.’

‘Of course.’

They began investigating the drawers, wardrobe and searching under the bed.

‘May I say how fetching you look in that outfit, Miss Buckton?’ It was the linguistically challenged tones of Captain Rosetta.

‘Oh, this old thing? I just threw it on.’ She giggled coyly.

‘Oh, Miss Buckton, how long have I admired your curvaceous figure and your flawless complexion,’ said Rosetta suddenly.

Miss Buckton- equally suddenly- felt a rush of desire for the Captain, and the couple fell onto the bed in a tangle of arms and legs.

A few minutes later, Walker and Trey peered through the window.

‘What are they doing?’ said Trey foolishly.

‘You really are stupid, aren’t you?’ snapped Walker. ‘I said “the anaesthetic gas” not “the aphrodisiac gas”!’

‘Well if you will use long words!’ retorted Trey. ‘How am I supposed to know what you’re talking about?’ He had had enough of being the lackey, and stormed off into the darkness of the garden.

Walker sighed. He’d have to retrieve the gas canister from the gamekeeper’s room, so, covering his face with his handkerchief, he crept in, wriggling across the floor like a commando and trying to ignore the rampant couple on the bed. Miss Buckton was looking very attractive tonight, he mused. So was Captain Rosetta. Then the doctor remembered the aphrodisiac gas was still in the air and retreated hastily out of the window. How fortunate the room was on the ground floor.

Meanwhile, Trey walked smack into someone by the balustrade, nearly knocking the small figure over. Then he realised it was a woman. Crying. This was not his area of expertise. Dr. Walker was the ladies’ man, but he was not here.

‘There there. Dry your eyes, lass.’

That was what he’d heard people say to crying women. He patted her on the shoulder, and was very surprised when Ruby- for it was she- fell into his arms.

‘Oh-oh- he’s just been using me,’ she sobbed. She was making Trey’s black stealth shirt wet.

‘Who?’

‘Lord Penn… he just- he’s got that new girl now, Miss- Miss Bianca Scott. I’m nothing to him now, I was just- just-‘ she dissolved into unintelligible sobbing.

‘Pull yourself together, woman. What did he do?’

She whispered in Trey’s ear and his eyes widened in shock, with perhaps a bit of jealousy.

Now, his brain was working. Slowly, but it was working. So Lord Penn simply owned the manor, he was nothing to his stepfather’s plan. Trey’s frustrated explosive desires were fixing on a victim now. He hated upper class types, and it seemed that Lord Penn had been using this poor working class servant girl for his own ends, so he was For It. Never mind his step father and Dr Walker. The spirit of class solidarity had risen within Trey, and he would no more stand for social inequality.

Elsewhere in the grounds of the Manor, Nicole was at the rough gamekeeper’s hut. Luckily, the rough gamekeeper, Stewart, was not there, but the passionate and fit under gamekeeper was. Romeo was carrying her away to the heights of pleasure and she wondered how she’d ever got through life without him. Why had she put up with her inattentive husband for so long?

After a while, they lay in each other’s arms, their passion satiated.

‘I won’t be available to meet you for a while,’ whispered Nicole sadly.

‘Why?’ The disappointment on his face reassured her.

‘My husband and I have been invited to the Holdens. It is a fair distance away. We are to celebrate the wedding of Lord Xavier to Lady April. A fortuitous and worthy match, their marriage should bring about an advantageous connection between the Austin-Holdens and the Scott-Fotheringtons.’

‘That’s what your life is all about isn’t it: duty and public image.’

‘Y-yes, I suppose it is.’

‘Poor lass. No genuine feelings in yer life, just always putting on a front for other people.’

Nicole thought about this. She had married Penn because he was glamorous, her parents approved, he could provide a well-appointed home and she would want for nothing. What had she received in reality? Every material luxury and comfort she could think of, the highest social standing in the area, a suitable social life. However, she also had a distracted husband, no intimacy, no love or children. She was lucky to have met the handsome under gamekeeper, he was gradually expanding her world and introducing her to new possibilities.

‘So how will we see each other while I’m away? Its two weeks!’

Romeo paused, thinking for a while.

‘I have connections, I’m sure I can arrange something. I can’t live a day without you.’

Nicole was surprised at such emotion from a man. She felt the same way, and they continued their night of passion.

The next morning, Nicole awoke to find the sun streaming into the room. The shaft of light lay across the bare floorboards, up the bed and along the half covered body of her lover. She stayed for a while just gazing at him, until he stirred and smiled up at her.

Unfortunately, a loud knock at the door spoilt the mood, and Nicole clutched the covers to her breast.

‘Who is it? Where shall I hide?’ she hissed.

‘Quick, in the cabinet.’ He carefully bundled her and her clothes through the handmade wooden door. Taking a quick look round, he straightened the blankets and pulled on his outer clothes.

The visitor was Lord Anthony Holden, disguised in unbecoming working man’s attire.

‘Cousin,’ Romeo greeted him, rather flustered.

Holden frowned and glanced around shiftily.

‘Do not call me that, it might be misconstrued.’

‘Sorry. Why do you call so early?’

‘I have news for you. Your mistress-‘

‘My mistress? To whom do you refer?’

Holden paused. ‘If you let me finish, dear boy.’

‘Sorry.’

‘Your mistress and master are coming to stay at Holden Towers for the wedding of my nephew Xavier. Without them residing at Frankerley Manor, I cannot guarantee your safety there.’

Romeo tried to look surprised with a tinge of fear.

‘What is that strange expression you wear? No matter. I have arranged for you to travel with them as an extra footman. I am also borrowing some of the other Frankerley staff so it doesn’t look suspicious. A housemaid or two, another footman, or maybe the butler. I must make preparations.’

Romeo then tried to look relieved, but found it hard not to look too happy. He wouldn’t have to spend any time away from his beloved after all!

‘So tell me, why are you out here anyway? I went to all the trouble of arranging your dwelling within the Manor, and you are risking your safety in the woods! I am quite distressed by this.’

He dabbed his brow with a monogrammed kerchief.

‘I beg your pardon, Anthony. I simply desired a quiet night away from the hustle and bustle of the Manor. I have been perfectly safe.’

‘So, a quaint and rustic dwelling. I see there is only one room.’ Holden strode into the hut, looking this way and that. Romeo followed him, hoping no sign of Nicole was evident.

‘This cabinet is a fine piece of workmanship.’

‘Yes. Anthony, would you like a drink? I can make tea, or I have the finest whiskey in the kitchen. A treat kept for special visitors.’ Romeo steered Holden away from Nicole’s hiding place.

‘Oh, thank you dear boy. But I won’t. Lady Rachel will be wondering where I am. You know how she hates to be kept waiting. I told her I was out practicing my golf swing.’

He hastened out, examining his pocket watch.

After ensuring Holden was truly gone, Romeo hurried to the cabinet. Nicole fell out into his arms.

‘Did you hear all that?’

‘Some of it. Who was your visitor?’

‘Never mind that! I am going to Holden Towers with you! We needn’t be apart after all!’

They fell into an embrace.

At the Manor, Miss Buckton awoke with a jerk. She realised his name was Captain Rosetta, and sighed in despair. What had she been thinking? Why had her long suppressed libido stirred last night?

Rosetta awoke at her fidgeting and hastened out of bed.

‘Miss Buckton, I am contrite. I fear last evening was-‘

She blushed and so did he.

‘I fear I have behaved despicably.’ As he was fastening his clothes and Miss Buckton smoothing down her skirt, she suspected the worst.

‘I must apologise, dear lady. I cannot imagine what came over me.’

Miss Buckton too wondered what had come over her. She felt hot and sticky: a bath was undeniably required.

‘Let us never mention this occurrence again,’ said Rosetta.

‘We should leave this room as soon as possible, it must be the atmosphere in here.’

‘Quite. I will leave you to make yourself decent- not that you appear indecent, but- I shall meet you later today to discuss our next course of action. As regards Smith I mean.’ He bowed, and hurried out.

Miss Buckton was not sure how to feel. Previously she held no affection for Captain Rosetta, but something strange had occurred in the gamekeeper’s room. Rosetta had breached her womanly defences most proficiently and she could not convince herself she loathed the experience- quite the opposite! How could she continue her professional relationship with him now? She had worked so hard as a woman in a man’s business and did not want to waste all her diligence.

[Red Ranger 1]

The Frankerley party had been left waiting in the entrance hall of the Holden household upon their arrival. It had been intimated that the more respectable members of the company could wait in the drawing room and the servants report to their own level. Nicole, however, had been eager for a few more minutes in Smith’s company and so had persuaded Penn to let the party stay together.

Finally, Lord Holden appeared with a large party of his own: his wife Lady Rachel, his sister Lady Gina Austin-Holden, the happy couple Xavier and April… and, to Nicole’s surprise, Dr. Walker.

‘Welcome to Holden Hall, Lord and Lady Frankerley,’ Holden greeted them with a broad smile. ‘I am glad you could be here for this important day for our families.’

‘I would not dream of missing it,’ Penn replied. ‘I think you are acquainted with our two house guests, Captain Rosetta and Miss Buckton?’

Rosetta held out his hand to the host. ‘Real nice of you to invite us here, sport. You Poms have been making me feel quite at home.’

‘I’m glad we could be of service,’ Holden responded, not seeming to know what to make of the captain.

‘The servants you requested,’ Penn continued, gesturing to the other remembers of the party. ‘Our butler Copeland, the footman Smith and Ruby, one of our maids.’

Rachel’s gaze wandered towards Penn’s other companion. ‘And this lady?’

Penn patted Bianca’s hand. ‘Miss Scott is my personal nurse. I would like her to be quartered as close to me as possible. I may have need of her attentions during the night.’

‘Lord Penn really is a most demanding patient,’ Bianca confirmed. ‘I fear he could not last long without me.’

Nicole heard Ruby give a curious noise that sounded like a sniffle.

Lady Gina glanced across at her son’s fiance. ‘Is Scott not your family’s name?’

‘It is a common enough name,’ Lady April observed. ‘I am sure there is no connection between me and the good nurse.’

‘That would be most absurd,’ Lord Xavier agreed.

Nicole glanced at Dr. Walker. ‘I was not aware you would be joining us, good doctor.’

‘At a social event such as this, it is expected for all men of good standing to attend,’ Dr. Walker replied. ‘I think it may afford many opportunities.’

‘I will have my staff show your servants to the lower levels,’ Holden announced. He gestured to two servants who had been loitering nearby. There was a curiously shifty air about them, Nicole thought, as Smith, Copeland and Ruby followed them away.

Rachel gave their guests a smile as broad as her husband’s. ‘Now, perhaps our guests would like to join us for a quiet refreshment before lunch?’

Trey Palmer was crouched in the undergrowth in the hall’s grounds, toying with his knife. He had been instructed by Dr. Walker to remain close at hand in case he had sudden need of him but he was finding the wait quite dull.

He heard a curious noise from nearby that caused him to be suddenly alert. There was someone close by. Perhaps if he was discovered it would give him an excuse to use some mindless violence.

He crept cautiously through the undergrowth until he caught sight of the intruder. He was surprised to see that it was Ruby, sat at the edge of the garden in tears. He hastily put the knife away. The most sensible thing to do would be to withdraw quietly into the undergrowth, unseen and unheard. But some faint spark of chivalry caused him to emerge and take a seat on the grass beside her. ‘Are you all right?’

She looked surprised but not displeased to see him. ‘What are you doing here?’

Palmer thought that he should perhaps have decided upon an answer to that question before approaching her. ‘Poaching,’ he offered at last.

Ruby just smiled. ‘You’d better be careful. Our under gamekeeper accompanied us on our visit. He might catch you.’

‘Oh, don’t worry. I’ll catch him first.’ Palmer bit his lip slightly, reminding himself there were some things he wasn’t supposed to discuss with strange girls. ‘What distresses you?’

‘Oh, that Lord Penn again. He flaunts her in front of me, in front of everyone, his new favourite. If Lady Frankerley were but to know what he gets up to…’

‘Maybe we could tell her?’ Palmer suggested.

Ruby gave a gasp of horror. ‘Oh no, you mustn’t! If she found out about me and him, I’d be out on the streets, I know I would!’

Palmer patted her awkwardly on the shoulder. ‘Don’t worry, miss. I’ve got a nice hut you could sleep in.’

Miss Buckton had removed herself from the rest of the party and found a quiet study in which to write up her notes on the latest case. It was all becoming quite fascinating, if somewhat disturbing.

Her peace did not last long however since she was interrupted by Captain Rosetta. ‘I think I must speak with you,’ he declared.

‘It seems I have no way of preventing you,’ she concluded.

He sat down beside the desk. ‘Charlotte… I may call you Charlotte? Charlotte. The events of the other night have been preying heavily on my thoughts.’

‘I feel the event is best forgotten,’ she told him.

‘But how can I forget it? The two of us becoming acquainted in so intimate a fashion. I do not know what madness affected us, it was as if we were possessed, an attack of the vapours perhaps. But the feelings I felt for you that night still weigh heavily on my mind and… Are you writing this down?’

Miss Buckton put her pen down guiltily. ‘Sorry. Force of habit.’

Rosetta cleared his throat. ‘I simply feel that there is a connection between us and I would like to explore you. It. The connection.’

‘Captain Rosetta, whilst your aspect is not unappealing, you hired me to do a job and it did not involve becoming intimately acquainted with you. A lady detective has difficulty commanding respect as it is without falling prey to an attachment to a lecherous retired soldier.’

Rosetta looked at her, offended. ‘Well, if you think it’s lecherous… you can just rack off, all right?’

Miss Buckton stared at him, confused. ‘Rack off?’

‘It’s dialect. It means get knotted.’ He walked off, shaking his head. ‘Poms.’

Miss Buckton found herself unable to concentrate on her notes, instead finding herself wanting to write a romance novel, of a handsome if uncouth soldier and a bookish lady detective being dragged into a wealth of intrigue and double-dealing and finding themselves inextricably drawn towards each other. If only real life could be so exciting…

Nicole had asked directions to the servants’ quarters as soon as she had managed to excuse herself from her husband’s company. Fortunately he had been quite happy to discuss politics and economics and other trivial subjects with Lord Holden and Dr. Walker, leaving her free to pursue the much more important topic of handsome servants.

She had reached the lower levels and caught a glimpse, further down the corridor, of Smith in deep conversation with two of Lord Holden’s servants, the suspicious looking pair who had greeted them on their arrival. She was surprised to find another visitor to the servants’ quarters also observing them: Dr. Walker’s daughter, the one he had named after a colour. ‘May I help you, Violet?’

The girl bowed her head slightly but her demeanour was more giggly than respectful. ‘It’s Indigo, your ladyship. I just wanted to get a glimpse of your footman there.’

‘You think this is a zoo, Indigo?’

‘Well, no, your ladyship, but there is so much talk of him about town. And he is ever so handsome, isn’t he?’

‘I do not imagine your father would be happy to hear you talking of a servant so.’

‘Him? Oh, he’s always sleeping with servants. Why should he have all the fun?’

‘Nevertheless, there is not only the stigma of his class but also of his birth. Perhaps if you do desire some amusement you could look to the servant with him?’ Nicole glanced at the man and woman talking with Smith again. It was odd that they looked so much like the two gypsies she’d seen in town…

Indigo appraised him for a moment. ‘He’s all right. But I’d rather have yours.’

Nicole was suddenly concerned. ‘Mine?’

‘Your footman.’

‘Oh! Yes. Yes, of course.’

Smith seemed to notice their attention and extricated himself from the other two. ‘May I help you, your ladyship?’

Nicole couldn’t help but notice the girl staring at him adoringly. ‘Ah, this is Miss Walker, the doctor’s daughter.’

‘Indigo.’ She held out her hand and he kissed it, provoking another fit of giggles. ‘Hasn’t he got lovely manners?’

‘I wonder if perhaps we could speak in private about how things are to be while we’re here?’ Nicole asked.

‘Of course,’ Smith agreed. ‘There’s a room over here. Pleased to meet you, Miss Walker.’

‘Likewise, I’m sure,’ she fired back.

Nicole waited until Smith had closed the door to his quarters before embracing him. ‘Ah, alone at last.’

‘It might not have been best for yer to come down here, lass,’ Smith suggested, his accent wandering in its usual manner. ‘Your husband could have seen youse.’

‘Oh, don’t worry about him. He’s not very good on stairs.’ She gave him a light kiss. ‘So, this is your new room? I must pay it a visit some time. See what it’s like during the night.’

Smith sighed. ‘I swear, your ladyship, you will have us both strung up.’

‘Do you have any duties to perform at the moment?’

‘Well, ah, no.’

‘Good.’ She took his hands and led him towards the bed. ‘Then perhaps I should find something for you to do.’

‘Palmer! Palmer!’ Walker hissed, looking around the grounds. He had told the boy to remain close at hand.

After an interminably long wait of at least half a minute, Palmer emerged from the undergrowth. ‘What is it, Dr. Walker?’

‘I told you to remain close at hand!’

‘Yeah, I was just, um, bird watching.’

Walker held up a small scrap of paper. ‘I have come up with the perfect idea to lure Smith into our grasp! This letter pushed under his door in the servants’ quarters should bring him straight to us.’

Palmer took the paper from him and read it. ‘My darling Romeo. I cannot bear to be separated from you any longer. Please meet me by the cedar tree behind the house at seven o’clock tonight, so that we may be together again.’ He looked at Walker in confusion. ‘Why would Smith agree to meet you? Are you..?’

‘Read the signature,’ Walker told him testily.

Palmer looked at the letter again. ‘Lady Frankerley! He’ll think you’re Lady Frankerley!’

‘Exactly. I think that young beauty is exactly the bait we need to get hold of Smith at last…’

[Miranda]

Lord Penn and his lady were in their dressing room recovering from the arduous process of watching their servants unpacking. A cup of tea was the perfect relief for such exhaustion.

‘So, my dear, are you looking forward to the wedding ceremony?’ asked Penn. He felt a little sorry for his young wife, she must have rather a dreary life at present. He could not remember how long it was since she had experienced his magnificent bedroom skills and she must be missing them. But he could not risk her discovering how little his war injuries had affected him in that department. If she did, his plan would be ruined.

‘Yes, I imagine it will be an agreeable occasion.’ Nicole did not really care what happened at the wedding, she only cared that her beloved Romeo had not been left behind at the Manor. Now he was within reach at all times. She tried to hide her excitement.

Penn also covered a secret feeling, but for him it was a smile. With Mr Smith domiciled at Holden Towers, the Holden/ Walker feud would be precipitated. He had to prevent himself rubbing his hands.

‘Will Miss Scott be able to work at Holden Towers with you, dearest?’ asked Nicole. ‘The special equipment needed for your therapy was too bulky to be brought in the carriage.’

‘Oh, Miss Scott can improvise, she is very- she is a skilled nurse who is accustomed to difficult patients like myself.’

Penn began thinking of Miss Scott’s improvisation skills. The last ‘therapy session’ had been very memorable: the way she had firmly grasped his- He hastily seized a cushion to put across his lap.

What a talented and complex man I am, he congratulated himself. He enjoyed corrupting young girls like the housemaid, Ruby, but he was also able to handle experienced and controlling women like Miss Scott. She had obviously encountered many men but he was sure he was the greatest of them. He supposed he should give his wife an heir to the Frankerley name, but if his plan came to fruition, an heir would not be necessary. His wife was too virginal and boring, she lacked the vulgarity of the housemaids and the dominance of Miss Scott. He arranged the cushion further over himself. Thinking about Miss Scott was too much to bear sometimes! When was his next appointment with her, he could not wait…

Nicole’s thoughts were far away and she didn’t notice her husband’s strange expressions. Although disappointed that she had been forced to stay in adjoining rooms with her husband, she consoled herself with thoughts of Romeo. She had lost interest in Penn months ago, Romeo was her love, her only desire.

In Lady April’s quarters, there was an unwelcome visitor.

‘I’m trying my best, cousin,’ said the blonde lady at the dressing table. She was applying rouge to her well-shaped cheeks.

‘You must try harder,’ said Lady April, wondering why her guest was powdering her behind. Perhaps some fancy of her current lover. ‘I must know how much your employer knows. Then I can pass the information on to Xavier and his uncle.’

‘Give me time! I have Penn in the palm of my hand- often literally-‘ Bianca gave a crude laugh and Lady April turned up her nose. ‘Just a little longer, and I shall know all.’

‘Well, time is running out, so please encourage his disclosure.’

‘Oh, I shall, do not worry. Let me borrow your diamond necklace, then I will redouble my efforts.’

Lady April sighed, and handed her companion the trinket.

‘Marvellous,’ giggled the lady. ‘I so love to be admired, diamonds set off my skin so divinely.’

Romeo studied the note pushed under his door. When he returned from his bath in the stable yard, there it was. He had only just been with Nicole, so why was she sending him secret letters? The handwriting looked suspicious too: rather plain and unadorned to be that of a lady. His desire for Nicole wrestled with his natural caution: the original heart versus head struggle. Lord Holden had specified to be careful, as had Hugo. But Nicole wouldn’t lure him into a trap… surely?

The rendez vous hour arrived, and Romeo sauntered over to the cedar tree. It was well timed, as all at Holden Towers were preparing themselves for dinner and not perambulating about the grounds.

‘What is Mr Smith doing?’ Nicole asked Ruby as she caught a glance of him through her dressing room window.

‘I know not, my lady.’ Ruby had her eye on another man, lurking in the undergrowth. He had promised her revenge on Lord Penn and she was wondering how he proposed to enact it.

‘Shouldn’t he be waiting to serve us at dinner?’

‘Mm…’ Ruby was too distracted to answer. Her revengeful feelings towards Lord Penn were fading somewhat due to the chivalrous youth she had recently met. Unsure of his background, she fantasised he was the long lost son of royalty, and would sweep her away from her humble situation-

‘Ow! Ruby! Not so tight!’ Lady Nicole wanted her corsets tightened to shrink her waist, but not as small as that.

‘Sorry, my lady. May I be excused? I feel unwell.’

Nicole was shocked. A servant with feelings? Although of course Romeo had feeling- very much so- therefore why not Ruby?

‘Certainly, girl. You may be excused for ten minutes.’

Ruby hurried off.

At the tree, Romeo tried to merge into the background foliage. Twilight was beginning to fall, and there was no sign of Nicole. Or anyone else.

‘This is peculiar,’ said a voice behind him suddenly. He jumped and peered into the bush. ‘Don’t turn round. I’m here to protect you. What are you doing?’

Romeo relaxed. Of course. His brother had been watching over him. He started to explain, but suddenly observed a note pinned to the cedar. He stepped over to read it, and was suddenly whisked up into the tree.

‘Romeo? Romeo?’ asked Hugo in alarm. ‘Where are you- uh!’ A scuffle ensued. Dr Walker had stepped up behind the gypsy-cum-servant and tried to subdue him. However, Hugo was his junior and in finer fettle, so Walker was having difficulty besting him.

‘Palmer! Palmer!’ hissed Walker. ‘Where in heavens are you now?’ He was out of breath and Hugo was getting the better of him.

‘Your associates can’t help you now, doctor.’ Hugo forced him to the ground and tied his wrists with a pre made rope of lucky heather.

‘I think they can,’ said a deep, sinister voice. Hugo looked up and gasped. A tall grey haired man in a long black trench coat glared down.

‘Dad!’ said a voice, and a dishevelled Trey tumbled out of the undergrowth, followed by Ruby, equally dishevelled.

Palmer senior clicked his fingers at his stepson, and Trey helped him subdue Hugo and free Sid. Romeo was trapped in the tree so powerless to stop his brother being tied up.

‘So, Holden. We now have you in our power,’ said Palmer. ‘You walked straight into our trap and we can begin our revenge.’

Before being knocked unconscious, Hugo wondered why Palmer was speaking in the third person- did he have delusions he was royalty?

[Red Ranger 1]

‘I must say the whole thing’s a dashed nuisance,’ Copeland complained.

Marilyn gave him as friendly a smile as she could manage, doing her best to tolerate his presence in a kitchen that neither of them had any reason to be in, given that the whole plan to keep an eye on Smith seemed to have been a failure. ‘I realise it must be trying for you, Mr. Copeland.’

‘Trying? The whole thing’s such a personal embarrassment. Lord Holden calls us here to help out his staff on this important occasion and what happens? Our underfootman and maid choose this time to disappear, leaving myself as the sole representative of Lord Penn’s staff. It reflects badly on my ability to control those under me, you see?’

‘Yes, I can see why that may be difficult for you, Mr. Copeland.’ Marilyn gestured to the breakfast trays before her. ‘But I’ve got to take these in to Lady April and Lady Frankerley and goodness only knows who else and you wouldn’t want me to be left looking not in control now, would you?’

Copeland looked instantly contrite. ‘Of course, I’m sorry. If Ruby were here, she could assist you but a male servant in a lady’s boudoir would hardly be appropriate, would it? Are there any men’s trays I can assist you with?’

Marilyn was surprised by the offer. Perhaps the Frankerley butler had more than arrogance and bluster about him after all. ‘Why, yes, Mr. Copeland. I had been wondering what to do with them, with my brother indisposed. Let me see now, those trays there are for Lord Xavier and Dr. Walker. They mustn’t miss out on their early morning refreshments now, must they?’

Nicole felt in turmoil. Darling Romeo missing and yet she must hide her distress. For all his strange talk, she had no idea what private matters may have precipitated his desertion.

An impromptu gathering had sprung up in the drawing room to discuss the situation, Lord Holden at its head. ‘I apologise that your visit to our house has provoked such unfortunate results, Lord Penn,’ he remarked.

Penn seemed unconcerned by the apparent calamity. ‘Do not trouble yourself, Lord Holden. The loss of two servants is hardly a great disaster.’

‘But if some harm has befallen them..?’

‘In all likelihood, they have simply eloped.’ Penn seemed to glance at Nicole for a moment. ‘The affections of the lower classes are so inconsistent.’

Holden shook his head. ‘No, young Smith has a long connection with our family. He would not leave without giving good reason.’

‘Good riddance to him, I say,’ interjected Mr. de Murphy, whose presence everyone had forgotten. He was stood in a corner of the room, a glass of whiskey in his hand, swaying back and forth in a rather worrying manner. ‘The ungrateful English idiot did lay hands upon my noble Celtic person in a manner I found most discourteous.’

Nicole stared at him angrily. ‘It was you who behaved in a discourteous manner, Mr. de Murphy. Smith merely sought to defend my honour from you when you were in an insensible state. As you are now!’

‘Well, here’s to insensibility.’ De Murphy drained his glass. ‘I shall go to my room and compose an airia on the subject. Do not expect to see me for several days.’ He staggered out the room, making it through the doorframe at his third attempt.

‘Should we not be organising search parties?’ Nicole suggested.

‘I have asked the servants to check the grounds,’ Lord Holden observed.

‘I will send a message to Mrs. Roberts back at the hall,’ Penn told them. ‘In case they turn up there. But, really, all this fuss over two people of no consequence…’

‘Husband, they are missing!’ Nicole protested. ‘We have a duty towards them. Perhaps the constabulary should be informed.’

‘You are being somewhat alarmist, my dear. The last thing we need is a group of plods traipsing about the place during the preparations for such an important event.’

‘I agree that it would seem precipitous,’ echoed Dr. Walker, almost as smoothly as Lord Penn. ‘We do not wish to involve the law in this, do we, Lord Holden?’

‘Ah, no, not for the moment,’ Holden agreed. ‘It shall be kept within the family.’

‘Have we not forgotten something?’ asked the chromatically-named Miss Walker.

‘What is that, Rose?’ Nicole enquired.

‘It’s, ah, Indigo, your ladyship. Has not one of your own servants gone missing, Lord Holden? The quite handsome one?’

It took Holden a moment to decipher the description. ‘You mean Hugo? Oh, don’t worry. I’m sure he will be around somewhere.’

Lord Holden had taken a walk outside to see for himself if there were any signs of Smith’s whereabouts. He was halfway down the path when a curious noise came from the bushes next to him. ‘Psst!’

Lord Holden turned at the voice and saw a chimney sweep hiding in the bush, his brush thrown over his shoulder, his face blackened with soot. He was about to direct the fellow to the tradesman’s entrance when he noticed the face behind the soot. ‘Hugo?’

Hugo nodded. ‘My identity as one of your servants has been compromised. I was forced to adopt this disguise.’

‘You have news?’

‘Smith has been taken by the Palmers.’

‘Do you know where they have taken him?’

‘No.’

‘Do you know what they intend to do with him?’

‘No.’

Lord Holden looked at his relative impatiently. ‘What do you know?’

‘Smith has been taken by the Palmers.’ Hugo tapped his nose conspiratorially. ‘Do not worry, Anthony. I will stay close in touch.’

Trey and Ruby were seated on the grass outside a hut, some way into the woods. ‘How long do we have to wait?’ Ruby asked.

Trey gave a shrug. ‘’Till my stepfather’s finished with Smith.’

Ruby looked back at the hut anxiously. ‘What does he want with him?’

Trey shrugged again. It was curious, he thought. He’d been looking forward to some violence against Smith. Or against anyone, really, it was not like he had any particular hatred of Smith. But for some reason, he found himself liking the fact that he was with Ruby instead. ‘I’m sure he won’t be long,’ he assured her. ‘And then we can go about giving that Lord Penn what he deserves, hey?’ He gave her hand a squeeze and she smiled at him.

Then Trey heard a rustling in the trees ahead of them. He got to his feet, drawing his knife, Ruby getting up as well. ‘Who goes there?’ he demanded.

‘King George,’ came the sarcastic response as Rosetta stepped into view. ‘Dr. Walker gave me a message saying your stepfather wanted to see me.’

Trey nodded, gesturing towards the hut with his knife. ‘He’s in there.’

‘What were you after, Mr. Palmer?’ Rosetta asked as he stepped into the hut. He stopped in his tracks as he saw John Palmer standing over Romeo, who was bound to a chair.

‘Come in, Captain,’ Palmer invited him. ‘Come and say hello to…what did you say your name was again?’

‘Me name’s Romeo Smith,’ Romeo replied with his curious accent which at present seemed to be moving towards Dorset. ‘Ah’m a servant of Lurd Penn and ah dun’t know what it is yer want from meh.’

‘Oh, now we both know that’s not true,’ Palmer replied with a sneer. ‘Your name isn’t Romeo Smith and you know exactly why we’re doing this.’

‘What’s this all about, mate?’ Rosetta demanded. ‘You paid me to find this guy for you and tell you where he is. If you then want to kidnap him and tie him to a chair, well… what you get up to in private’s your business. But I don’t want dragging into it.’

‘Wrong, Captain,’ Palmer snapped. ‘You work for me and that means you do what I say. And I’ve got big plans for young Romeo here. And for the rest of the Holden family.’

[Miranda]

Palmer strode up and down in front of the stricken Romeo, as Rosetta watched in the background. In the manner of egotistical super villains, Palmer began detailing his plans.

‘Now we have you, Smith, your family will pay anything for your safe release. Anything. But little do they know what is going to happen.’

Rosetta was surprised. Palmer seemed to be goose stepping, his black trench coat flapping in a sinister manner.

‘Long ago, Smith, your ancestor left mine to die in a mine.’

‘What?’ Romeo was confused. ‘Mine in a mine?’

‘I meant, a Holden left a stricken Palmer in a collapsed mine. This was the eighteenth century, and we have never forgiven your family. We will take an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. You shall not survive.’

Rosetta was now very uneasy. He didn’t want to be the one who caused a murder. What would the angelic Miss Buckton think of him then? He paused, imagining her for a moment. Her full bust, her hourglass figure, her- Anyway, he must concentrate. A plan was forming in his confused brain. What if he became a hero? Surely her impression of him would improve?

Palmer suddenly punched Romeo hard, knocking him out.

‘That should leave an injury to worry the Holdens,’ he chuckled. ‘Eh Rosetta?’

‘Oh yes, of course.’ Rosetta would play along for a while.

‘Then we’ll take him to the gardens and the Holdens will enjoy the show.’ He chuckled.

Rosetta felt a shiver run up his spine. This man was insane.

Marilyn and Copeland had finished the breakfast trays and sat down with an air of satisfaction at the kitchen table. Mrs Hunter, the cook, was in the pantry, making an inventory of the pickled and salted foodstuffs.

‘Shall we have a cup of tea?’ Marilyn smiled broadly, filling the kettle. Copeland looked shocked.

‘I’d- I’d never dare to make a cup of tea in Frankerley Manor kitchen. Mrs Bellingham would have my guts for garters.’

‘Oh, we’re not like that here, my lovely.’ Marilyn put a pinch of something in Copeland’s teacup and gestured over it. She had her back to him so he didn’t see.

The tea was brewed and she put both cups down on the table.

‘Drink up my lovely.’

Copeland was just about to protest at such familiarity, but the tea looked so inviting, he took a large sip.

‘So, Mr Copeland, tell me about yourself,’ purred Marilyn, leaning forward.

‘I’ve worked my way up to butler over five years. I started out as a footman.’ Copeland was transfixed by Marilyn’s big blue eyes. ‘Madam, you are the most striking woman I have ever seen.’

Marilyn sat back. Her potions never usually worked so quickly. She must not waiver however.

‘Mr Copeland, it’s so relaxing in here by the fire, isn’t it? So nice… and calm... and you are feeling sleepy…’

His eyelids drooped, and his head flopped. After five minutes, Marilyn was confident to kneel down and investigate his belt. Now where was it?

‘Sister! Whatever are you doing?’

The chimney sweep was at the door.

‘Oh! Hugo! Oh you did make me jump. Oh, here it is.’ She pulled out Copeland’s bunch of keys. ‘Here’s the one we need.’ She produced the largest, oldest key and handed it to Hugo.

‘You are an excellent sister.’ He pocketed the key, and swept out. Well, he was disguised as a chimney sweep.

Marilyn couldn’t help a feeling of disappointment. She had hoped to be the one to carry out the deed. But she was only a woman, how could she expect that.

She surveyed the sleeping Copeland. He really wasn’t unattractive when he was asleep. She wondered if he’d remember his amorous feelings for her when he woke up.

Dr Walker was expecting a parcel. Palmer had instructed him to go to the post office post haste and collect it, as he needed it to carry out his plans to humiliate the Holdens. A petite woman was at the counter.

‘Is your husband present, Mrs-?’ asked Walker, noticing her ring.

‘Poulos-Patterson-Baker-Johnson. No, I’m afraid he passed away some time ago. I run this establishment.’

Dr Walker was so shocked that he had to take a seat. A woman running a post office? In this day and age? Scandalous. However, she was a widow, and his track record with the ladies had been woeful recently, so…

‘Mrs Poulos-Patterson-Baker-Johnson. I’m expecting a large package under the name of Walker. Dr Sidney Walker. Very pleased to meet you.’ He held out his hand and beamed his winning smile at her.

A doctor? thought the post mistress. How much did he earn in a year? And she would d have access to unlimited medicinal compounds if she became tired of him. She smiled coyly.

‘A large package, eh Doctor?’ She fluttered her eyelashes. ‘Let’s see what has arrived today.’ She bent low over the post sack and Walker admired the view. Was that a glimpse of ankle?

The wedding plans at Holden Towers were proceeding at a rate. Indigo Walker had been drafted in to assist Lady April, but her presence was not required at the moment. So she wandered around the building, in a lonely manner.

Not for long however.

‘Ah, Scarlett!’ said the voice of Lady Nicole.

Indigo could not stir herself to correct the lady yet again.

‘Have you seen Mr Smith at all?’ the Lady appeared bereft, as was Miss Indigo herself, at the loss of the handsome servant.

Before Indigo could answer, however, a door was flung open and a figure stepped out.

‘Ladies, please! Must you chatter incessantly outside my door?’ It was Mr deMurphy. ‘ I am trying to compose, and it proves impossible-‘ his eyes lighted on Miss Indigo and he seemed to lose the capacity of speech.

She gazed back.

‘What an exquisite creature,’ he breathed.

Lady Nicole and Indigo exchanged glances.

‘Would you like to take a turn round the grounds, Miss-‘

‘Indigo Walker.’

They set off immediately. Nicole couldn’t help feeling rather bereft. All her lovers were leaving her at once.

‘He what?’ exclaimed Trey, sitting up in bed.

Ruby repeated her statement.

‘Lord Penn can walk perfectly well?’

‘Sh! The other servants will hear you. If they find out I’ve got a man in here, my name’ll be mud. Again.’

‘Sorry. So that posh nob can use his legs as well as I?’

He began thinking again, and silence fell. Ruby smirked to herself. She could see her former lover getting his comeuppance and no mistake.

The subject of their discussion was with his nurse.

‘Oh, Bianca, you are the most formidable woman,’ he breathed, stroking her blonde hair.

‘Yes, I am aware of my talents,’ she agreed. ‘Now, let us get some fresh air. The atmosphere in your dressing room is excessively steamy.’

‘Allow me madam.’ Penn strode to the window, revelling in using his legs. He would have to keep the secret of his mobility just a little while longer, however.

He threw open he window and gasped. Two things caught his eye. One was a young servant girl, innocent as a rose, walking past. He was instantly filled with lust- she must be sixteen or less!

The other spectacle was a strange contrivance in the garden of Holden Towers. It was in the distance but seemed to be some sort of torture device. A Catherine wheel, or some such. How curious.

[Red Ranger 1]

Yes, disgraceful as it is I'll be going on holiday for a week from Tuesday.But I've written an insanely long chapter to make up for it.My thanks also for your continued support, Carina.

***

Not having a car at his disposal, and not wishing to ruin the upholstery of one with soot, Hugo had been forced to borrow a horse for the journey to Frankerley Hall, where he had used the key his sister had purloined from Copeland to allow himself entrance through a side door. He was crossing the hall when a strident voice demanded, ‘What you up to there, mister?’

Hugo turned to be confronted by the form of Mrs. Roberts striding imperiously across the hall towards him. ‘I was just looking for the chimney,’ he explained.

‘Don’t believe a word of it,’ Mrs. Roberts retorted. ‘You came here looking for something to steal, didn’t you?’ She called to a passing servant. ‘Jefferies! Throw this scruffy fella down the front steps!’

‘No, wait!’ Hugo protested. ‘I am here on an important errand for the Holden family. The servant who you know as Smith has been taken by an enemy of theirs.’

‘Smith?’ Mrs. Roberts considered this. ‘The handsome one who Lady Frankerley has taken a fancy to?’

Hugo glanced quickly to the left and right. ‘Madam, this is a matter of great urgency.’

‘Well, if it might help me get a pay rise, I’m all ears.’

Copeland was puzzled to awake and find his head resting on the table. He looked up to find Marilyn seated across from him and hastily smoothed down his clothes. ‘I apologise, dear lady, I appear to have fallen asleep in your kitchen.’

‘Oh no, you mustn’t worry, yourself Mr. Copeland,’ Marilyn told him sweetly. ‘I’m sure you lead a very stressful and important life.’

‘Well, yes, I do. But a butler must never neglect his duties. Why, if Lord Penn were to find out I had been sleeping in such a manner, he would have me flogged! Or dismissed! Or flogged and dismissed! I must attend to His Lordship immediately.’ He made to get up.

‘No, wait!’ Marilyn was desperate for him not to leave, for fear he would discover his keys were missing. And, she had to admit, the idea of his continued presence was not such an unappealing one. ‘Tell me more about how important you are.’

‘I would be glad to do so, at a more appropriate time, but for now…’

‘Have you ever considered having a haircut?’ Marilyn blurted out. He looked at her in astonishment, ‘And, ah, what do you think of my eyes?’

Before Copeland could summon up an appropriate response, a loud voice called from outside. ‘All right, you lot! Out here now!’

Everyone that could be recalled as being present in the house ventured out onto the lawn at the imperious demand: Lady Nicole, Miss Indigo Walker, Lord Anthony and Lady Rachel Holden, Lady Gina Austin, Lord Xavier and Lady April, Lord Penn and the ever attentive Bianca, Miss Buckton, Copeland and Marilyn. Even Mr. de Murphy joined them, although as soon as he spied a garden table he sat down at it with a bottle of wine and was soon oblivious to all else.

They were greeted by the curious sight of Romeo Smith tied to a giant Catherine wheel. A long fuse ran from it and at the end of the fuse stood John Palmer, a burning twig in his hand. Captain Rosetta was with him, an uncomfortable expression on his face.

‘How did they manage to put a giant Catherine wheel in our garden and tie Smith to it without anyone noticing?’ Lady April asked quietly.

Lord Xavier shrugged. ‘It’s a mystery.’

‘I’m glad I have your attention!’ Palmer called. ‘For I am about to exact a revenge that has been nearly two hundred years in the making! There has been lots of careful planning by generations of Palmer men to lead us to this moment: the final humiliation of the Holden family!’

‘You are a villain, sir!’ Lady Nicole cried. ‘Whatever this ill will you hold towards the Holden family, why are you punishing such a handsome and virile young man for it?’

‘I’m getting to that,’ Palmer snapped. ‘This is the exposition, it has to be done in the right order! Where was I? Oh yes – I could not have achieved all this without the help of my trusted ally Captain Rosetta here! And my other trusted ally…’ He paused and looked around him. ‘Where is Dr. Walker?’

‘I believe he was held up at the post office,’ Rosetta explained quietly.

‘So, Mrs. Poulos-Patterson-Baker-Johnson,’ Walker mused as he and the charming young lady shared a cup of tea together. ‘Have you ever thought of travelling to the continent?’

‘The idea has been suggested,’ the post mistress confirmed. ‘My second, no first, no fourth… How many times have I been married?’

Walker did a quick mental calculation. ‘Three?’

‘Really? I thought there was Mr. Poulos…Oh, wait, he was my father.’ The post mistress gave a decisive nod. ‘My third husband travelled to a far off land but what fate befell him there I know not.’

‘Perhaps we could follow his example. There are many corners of the British Empire that would welcome a new doctor and a new… post mistress.’

‘Whatever are you suggesting, Dr. Walker?’

‘It is simply that, all being well, I expect to simultaneously come into a large amount of money and find myself something of an outcast among the local population. So it occurs to me that removing myself from the immediate area would be a most sensible course of action. And the presence of a charming companion would make the journey much more enjoyable.’

‘A large amount of money?’ enquired Mrs. Poulos-Patterson-Baker-Johnson. ‘And I suppose as a doctor your personal fortune will be not inconsiderable?’

‘Neither, I imagine, will yours as a thrice widowed post mistress?’ They smiled and clinked their tea cups together.

‘Did you have somewhere else to be?’ Mrs. Poulos-Patterson-Baker-Johnson enquired.

Walker shrugged dismissively. ‘Nothing of importance.’

‘All right, we’ll do this without him,’ Palmer declared. ‘Now, where was I? Oh yes. I have discovered the deep dark secret of the Holden family, the one that will finally allow me to gain revenge for your ancestor leaving my ancestor to die in a mine! I know that your uncle did have an illegitimate son. And that that son did have three children. This servant’ – he gestured to Smith – ‘that servant’ – he gestured to Marilyn – ‘and… the other servant who doesn’t seem to be here. Which makes them your second cousins three times removed, take a step to the right, back again… Which makes them your distant cousins. And when he turned to drink, you swore an oath to protect those three children, the illegitimate offspring of the Holden family, with your very life!’

‘Then young Smith is of noble birth?’ enquired Nicole with interest.

‘I imagine it’s pretty diluted by all the drunkards and wastrels,’ Palmer replied nastily. ‘Which brings me to your choice, Lord Holden.’ He held up a piece of paper. ‘This document entitles me to all your family’s land and wealth. Sign it and everything you have belongs to me. Don’t sign it and young Smith here, as you insist on calling him, will go up like Guy Fawkes!’

‘Very well,’ Holden replied. ‘I’ll sign it.’

Palmer looked at him in confusion. ‘Eh?’

‘Let us go to to the study and I will sign your paper. So long as you promise to release Smith.’

‘No, no, no!’ Palmer shouted in frustration. ‘You’re meant to refuse so I can burn him alive!’ He shrugged. ‘Oh well, I’ll just burn him alive anyway.’ He went to light the fuse.

‘Hold fast, Palmer!’ declared a loud voice. Hugo came riding across the field towards them. He jumped down from his horse, grabbed the sweep’s brush he had tied to his back and pointed it at Palmer. Then he realised his mistake, threw it aside and grabbed the shotgun he had tied to his back as well.

‘Where did you get that from?’ asked Holden.

‘The Frankerleys’ gun case. I, er, borrowed your keys, Mr. Copeland.’ Hugo threw them back to him. ‘Hope you don’t mind.’

Copeland found himself too stunned to give any reply.

‘Well, well, well, the other prodigal Holden,’ Palmer sneered.

‘Along with a crack commando squad,’ Hugo added. ‘My angels of vengeance.’

From the undergrowth emerged three figures with shotguns trained on Palmer. It was Mrs. Roberts, Mrs. Smart and Mrs. Bellingham.

‘Hold it right there, you varmint!’ Mrs. Roberts bellowed.

‘Wait till I tell the ladies down the wash house about this,’ Mrs. Smart giggled.

‘Will you two please conduct yourself with a bit of decorum?’ Mrs. Bellingham asked imperiously.

Palmer laughed. ‘Those three geriatrics? What sort of charlie’s angels are they? Since it’s obvious the fusilade of bullets is going to miss me, I’ll light the fuse.’ He bent and applied his burning branch to the fuse. Three guns fired. Three bullets missed.

Rosetta suddenly realised how he could win Miss Buckton’s heart. He could be a hero! He pushed Palmer to the ground and ran forward to try and stamp out the fuse.

Unfortunately, Hugo had had the same idea. The two men collided and ended up rolling on the floor, wrestling with each other. ‘Let me go!’ Rosetta shouted. ‘I have to save Smith and be a hero!’

‘No, no!’ Hugo protested. ‘I’m the hero of this story!’

‘Darling Romeo!’ Nicole cried out. She ran forward and began to untie her love from the Catherine wheel as the fuse burnt down, very slowly.

‘The handsome servant!’ cried Indigo. She ran forward and began to help untie him.

‘Back off, Red!’ Nicole shouted.

‘Back off, your battleship!’ Indigo shouted back.

‘Flattering as this is, can yer hurry up?’ Smith asked.

The two young ladies managed to untie their suitor and the three of them rolled back onto the grass as the Catherine wheel ignited, spinning round and bursting flames and sparks in all directions.

Holden ran up to the kneeling Palmer and began pounding him with his fists. ‘You bounder! You’ve ruined my lawn!’

‘Anthony, be careful!’ called Lady Rachel as the two men scuffled. ‘Do not ruin your fine clothes! Whatever will your tailor say?’

‘It is a shame this Palmer is such a villain,’ remarked Lady Gina. ‘His aspect is not unpleasing.’

Smith helped Nicole to her feet. ‘You saved me life, lassie.’

Indigo scrambled to her feet unaided. ‘I helped too!’

Romeo did not take his eyes off Nicole. ‘You saved half me life.’ They hugged each other gratefully.

Rosetta staggered to his feet and Miss Buckton threw her arms around him. ‘You were so heroic, the way you tried to save that poor Guy Fawkes and the way you fought that vile chimney sweep! Just like a romantic hero should be!’

He patted her back. ‘Thanks, sheila.’

Indigo caught sight of the bemused looking and still seated on the floor Hugo. ‘Ah, Lord Holden?’

Holden looked round from punching Palmer’s face. ‘Yes, Miss Walker?’

‘Is this not your quite handsome servant? And he is also a member of your family?’

‘Ah, quite so.’

‘I thought you were after Mr. de Murphy and my Romeo?’ Nicole asked.

‘Just keeping my options open,’ Indigo replied.

Penn surveyed the scene from near the house. ‘Well, I don’t think I could have planned that better myself,’ he observed.

Bianca hid her revulsion as he patted her thigh. ‘How so, my most handsome lord?’

‘Well, I imagine Palmer will be asked a few questions by the constabulary after trying to burn Smith alive. And the Holdens won’t want to stick around now their family secret’s been revealed. So I should be able to buy up all their lands at a cut price! Soon the whole county will be mine!’

But in the confusion, everyone had forgotten Trey and Ruby. At that moment, they were sitting on top of the roof. ‘Are you sure this is going to work?’ Ruby asked.

‘Either he’s humiliated or he dies,’ Trey replied. ‘It’s win-win.’

Ruby nodded with a smile. Trey picked up a plant in a stone pot and dropped it towards Penn.

Seeing the danger, Penn leapt out of his chair and the potted plant landed on the spot where he had been sitting. Everyone turned at the noise. Everyone saw Penn standing in the middle of the lawn.

He raised his arms. ‘It’s a miracle!’

[Miranda]

‘But- but- you can walk!’ stuttered Nicole, stepping forward.

‘You have deceived us, Lord Frankerley,’ exclaimed Lord Holden, twirling his moustache. ‘If you have misled us in this, what else have you misled us in?’

‘Yes,’ agreed his wife, ‘Tell us more.’

Lord Penn backed away, but was prevented by Rosetta.

‘You’re going nowhere, you flaming mongrel,’ he drawled, handcuffing Penn, who seemed to enjoy it. After all, they had been in the army together.

‘That won’t stop him,’ muttered Miss Scott to Lady April, ‘He can get out of those in a second.’

‘How did Palmer and his gang find out Romeo Smith’s whereabouts anyway?’ asked Holden.

Palmer was insensible upon the ground, so just stared inanely at proceedings.

‘Er- well, he had a number of associates. Captain Rosetta for one,’ replied Penn, wriggling in the handcuffs.

Everyone gasped, and stared at Rosetta.

‘I invited him to stay, knowing full well his intentions were dishonourable. I blackmailed him to make him tell me the full extent of his debt to Palmer-‘

‘Yes, alright, alright,’ interrupted Rosetta. ‘I think they can guess the rest.’

Miss Buckton looked disapproving, so Rosetta had to do something quickly.

‘The other associate is Dr Walker,’ he revealed.

‘The good doctor of the village?’ gasped Lady Gina, who hadn’t had many lines in this story.

‘Father?’ shrieked Miss Indigo. ‘He’s in league with this person?’ she pointed at the prone Palmer. She fell into a swoon, but luckily Mr de Murphy stepped up.

‘Dear Madam, allow me.’ He placed her on the ground, and played madrigals on his lute, to soothe her.

‘Returning to the question,’ said Lord Holden, not to be distracted. ‘This entire situation is your doing?’ He glared at Penn.

But Miss Scott was correct. Penn had wriggled free of the handcuffs and was inching away from Rosetta, who was gazing at Miss Buckton.

He had underestimated the Catherine Wheel, however. It creaked and groaned, and Penn backing into it was the final straw. He turned, looked up and the contraption fell on him, crushing him to death.

‘Angelo!’ shrieked Miss Buckton, rushing forward and rugby tackling him out of the way.

‘Strewth,’ he said, ‘you’re the hero of the story after all.’

Meanwhile, Trey and Ruby were watching the pantomime unfold. They saw Palmer coming round from his beating, and sneaking off. Ruby shrieked, but Trey put his hand across her mouth.

‘Sh! We’ll be in trouble if they see us up here.’

‘Hey!’ shouted Hugo, noticing Palmer creeping away.

‘Damnation upon you all!’ shouted the criminal, producing a grenade, taking out the pin and throwing it on the lawn amongst everyone.

The heroic Hugo rushed towards the object, throwing himself upon it, heroically. There was a small pfft noise, but the retort knocked him unconscious.

When he came round, he heard a heavenly voice.

‘What a hero you are, sir,’ it said and he looked up at a blonde vision. She smiled, and he went all unnecessary. Was he in the afterlife, and was this an angel?

He glanced round the lawn of Holden Towers. How strange, it was filled with the Holden family, guests and servants, all canoodling. Lady Nicole with Romeo- no surprise there. Miss Indigo and Mr De Murphy. Even the gun toting servant women and Lady Gina had found muscular footmen, gamekeepers and sundry other servants to have their wicked ways with.

But his own sister and Copeland? Unthinkable! He was just about to hasten over there and give Copeland a hiding, when the apparition in front of him took his hand, and all was forgotten in an ecstasy of passion. Miss Scott at last had a real man, instead of a fiend, to practise her expertise on.

‘God, look at them all,’ observed Trey. ‘That bloody aphrodisiac gas again. I’m sure my father didn’t mean to throw that on the lawn, he meant to throw a real grenade.’ He was surprised to feel amused by this instead of disappointed at the lack of blood and guts.

‘Ah, bless ‘em,’ said Ruby. ‘They are all too uptight normally, a bit of love never hurt no one.’ She smiled at her beau, who smiled lovingly back.

‘The wedding’s tomorrow, they’re going to be worn out before then,’ he chuckled.

As the effects of the gas wore off, Nicole realised that everyone was staring at herself and Romeo in a compromising position.

‘Lady Nicole,’ said Lady Holden, straightening her clothes. ‘What is the meaning of this? You have been involved with Romeo all this time? Even though he is beneath you?’ Her husband sniggered rudely, so she slapped him.‘Socially, I mean.’

Before Nicole could summon all her aristocratic haughtiness, Romeo spoke.

‘Rachel, you and I are related, in a distant fashion. It is the modern age. Class boundaries mean nothing, social divisions are a phenomenon of the past and we should all join together in unity as brother and sister, man and wife, father and son.’

‘Hear hear!’ shouted Trey from the roof. ‘Down with the aristocracy!’ Everyone turned and looked up. ‘Curses, we’ve been discovered.’ He grabbed Ruby and hastened her towards the skylight.

Copeland, Hugo, Bianca and all the other servants cheered, and no one could be bothered to chase after Trey and Ruby.

The next day was the wedding of Lady April and Lord Xavier. The day dawned bright and sunny, unusual for autumn.