Quick Fanfiction Contest Archive

[Inactive User]

Come on everyone, only 2 days left to vote!! I'm a little disappointed and frustarted that this thread has had around 70 views but no one has bothered to vote. The two authors put a lot of effort and time into writing the stories and it's a shame that seems to be getting ignored.

Sadly i have noticed a real lack of interest in the fan fic contest in the last months or so. I remember times when each competition was getting 7/8 entries. Now there only seeems to be 2/3 per competition. Maybe it's time to stop it for a while or try to figure out ways to get more people interested.

Kirsty, I am still here. I am really interested in the fanfiction contest because I love reading the entries and I posted some comments for them. I will post a comment for this one now.

I think Entry 1 and 2 are both really amazing and well-written! Well done to the two authors wrote these entries!

[elikell]

Both entires are amazing and tell their respective stories very well.

Entry #1

I like the changes in time and the explanation it gives to the back story and how Aden and Belle got to where they were at the beginning and end of the story.

Insightful, detailed and very well written.

Entry #2

The emotions are very deep and powerful in this story. I really felt sorry for Rachel and Tony for being put through the pain and suffering.

Well written story, amazing details.

The Verdict

Both entries have been very well written, making this contest incredibly difficult to judge.

However, there must be only one winner...

I'm going to pick entry #2, simply for the incredible emotions evoked in this story. Very powerful stuff. But both writers should be very proud of their work.

As an aside...

I would love to be part of this competition from time to time, but I have been on holiday and haven't been able to. If there's another competition in the future, I'll try and get on board with it. It's a great idea and helps keep people's minds active.

[Red Ranger 1]

The Wedding

This story had some nice moments and some excellent humour.I especially liked the scene of Roman winding Aden up.It portrayed all the relationships between the characters well.The non-linear storytelling was an interesting idea but it didn’t quite work, the opening “present day” sequence didn’t really tease the reader with unanswered questions so, though it was nice to see how they got there and how Aden proposed, it felt like we didn’t really need to know.The last scene was sweet and provided a nice positive ending.

One Day We’ll Bring Him Home

I found this story astonishingly sad.The opening sequence left me wondering what had happened to Harry, I initially wondered if he’d died before I realised he was missing.The characters’ behaviour was frustrating if realistic, with Tony bottling everything up and being hostile and Rachel clinging onto hope in an almost delusional manner.The twist of Tony taking the baby that he thought was Harry and that he’d been watching him instead of being with another woman took me by surprise.The ending was sad with a tinge of hope and the feeling that at least they had each other.

Both writers should be congratulated but I’m voting for Entry #2.

[kitkat1992]

Entry #1 - I loved the interaction between everyone...in particular between Roman and Aden. The fic was really well written.

Entry #2 - The emotions in this were amazing, the fact the two people can act so differently in the same situation is very true and the writing portrayed this well.

My vote goes to Entry 2 but well done to both writers

[KirstyEkua]

Thank you everyone who voted

Congrats to Laura (charmed60) for her fantastic winning entry; it was incredibly heartbreaking and beautifully written. Thank you too to Carina for her entry which was also amazing and written to an extremely high standard.

So Laura it's now over to you..

[HighwayUnicorn]

Well done Laura. I did read through your one & it was beautiful - so well written.

You deserved to win that contest - perfect writing.

[charmed60]

Thank you all for your entries! Below are two fantastic quick fanfictions that I received; please if you're taking the time to read these, do vote for your favourite and give an explanation as to why you've chosen them.

The theme of the fanfic was "A Twist" and required the writer to include a twist somewhere in the story to shock or surprise the reader. It's a difficult skill for a writer and therefore please do judge accordingly; not just because it has your favourite characters in

Entry 1 - Searching

Charlie closed her eyes, wanting everything to vanish from her thoughts. She leant against the back of the closed door, her mind racing. She slid to the floor and before she knew it, tears had escaped from her eyes.

‘Mum?’ Ruby called out as she entered the house. ‘Mum are you home?’

Charlie wiped her tears away carelessly, stood up and walked out of her bedroom into the lounge room.

‘Hey Rubes, how was school?’ Charlie asked. Her voice crackled.

Ruby turned around and saw her mother’s face. ‘What’s wrong?’ Ruby asked. She walked over to her mother and wrapped her arms around her tightly.

Charlie took a deep breath, but before she could speak she broke down in tears. She hugged her daughter tightly and held her close.

Ruby rubbed her mothers back gently, easing her sobs slowly. ‘What’s wrong?’ Ruby repeated. She led Charlie to the lounge and they sat down. ‘What happened? Was it work?’ Ruby asked.

Charlie looked at Ruby, then moved her gaze to the floor before she looked back up at Ruby.

‘I stuffed up,’ Charlie admitted. She looked down at her police uniform and shook her head. ‘I was such an idiot,’ Charlie exclaimed. She put her head in her hands and wept quietly.

‘No mum, you’re not,’ Ruby said. She took her mothers hand in her own. Charlie looked over at her. ‘You’re not an idiot,’ Ruby repeated. She smiled at her mother comfortingly.

‘Sweetie,’ Charlie said. She held Ruby’s hand in her own and sighed deeply. ‘I need to tell you something, and I really want you to understand,’ Charlie said. She looked into Ruby’s brown eyes.

‘Okay,’ Ruby said. ‘Start at the beginning.’

Ten minutes later

‘What, so they just escaped? Where did they go?’ Ruby asked. Charlie had just finished talking and Ruby had a lot of questions she wanted answered.

Charlie looked at her. ‘Yes. It’s all my fault and I can’t find them,’ Charlie said.

‘What about work? Can’t they help? I mean, you’re police officers. You’re meant to find people,’ Ruby said.

‘Well it’s my fault,’ Charlie said. ‘I don’t know, its complicated.’

‘No it’s not,’ Ruby said. She was getting worked up. ‘It’s not complicated at all. Mum, people disappear all the time and you find them. You need to find them,’ Ruby said.

‘I…’ Charlie said. ‘How?’

‘I don’t know. You can’t just let them vanish without a trace. Mum, please, you can’t let this go. I know you, you can find anyone,’ Ruby said.

Charlie shook her head. ‘Not this time.’

‘Okay. Here’s what’s going to happen,’ Ruby said. ‘You’re gonna take a bath, clear your head and I’ll make dinner. Okay? And we’ll work out something after that.’

Charlie looked at her daughter intently. ‘Okay,’ she agreed.

‘Good,’ Ruby said. She smiled at her mother.

‘Thanks Rubes. You always know how to help,’ Charlie said. She hugged her daughter tightly.

The next morning

Charlie woke up and went into the kitchen. ‘Morning sweetie,’ she said. She placed a kiss on Ruby’s forehead. ‘How did you sleep? You look tired.’

‘Gee thanks mum. I didn’t really sleep at all. But it’s okay. What’s your plan for today?’ Ruby asked. ‘Did you think about what we discussed last night?’

‘I’ve gotta get to work. I’m just gonna jump through the shower,’ Charlie said. She turned to leave.

‘Mum? Are you okay after last night?’ Ruby asked.

Charlie turned back around to look at her daughter. ‘I’ll be okay. You’re right, I’m a cop. I can find them,’ Charlie said. She smiled and left the room.

Charlie stood in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She buttoned up her work shirt and sighed deeply. A noise in the hallway broke her thoughts. She opened the door and saw Ruby coming out of her bedroom.

‘Ruby? What were you doing in my room?’ Charlie asked suspiciously.

‘Nothing,’ Ruby replied. A large grin was plastered across her face.

‘Ruby, like you continuously point out, I’m a police officer. I can tell when people are lying,’ Charlie said. ‘And I’m your mother.’

‘Mum, before you start, I just want you to know that I love you and I want you to be happy,’ Ruby said.

Charlie raised an eyebrow. ‘I love you too sweetie. But what were you doing in my room?’ Charlie asked.

‘I called the police station and got you the day off work,’ Ruby said.

‘What? Why Ruby?!’ Charlie exclaimed.

‘Because I wanted to do something nice for you,’ Ruby said. She smiled.

‘And?’ Charlie asked.

‘And I was thinking about what you said last night and I wanted to help,’ Ruby said. She opened Charlie’s bedroom door and led her inside. ‘I was up all night searching, but I eventually found your escapee.’

Charlie looked away from Ruby to her bed, where a beautiful young woman was sitting.

The woman smiled at Charlie’s shocked expression.

‘Mum. I saw your expression last night, and heard what you said. You can’t let people escape from your life,’ Ruby said.

‘But how did...?’ Charlie started.

‘I found her at a motel in Yabbie Creek, ready to take off today with Aden,’ Ruby said. ‘You both love each other, I couldn’t let her escape from your life.’

Charlie looked at her daughter, tears in her eyes. Ruby hugged her mother tightly. ‘Thank you,’ Charlie whispered in Ruby’s ear.

‘You’re welcome,’ Ruby whispered back. ‘Now you have the day off, and I have school. Don’t waste this day. Just convince her to stay, okay?’ Ruby whispered into her mother’s ear.

‘Okay,’ Charlie agreed. ‘Love you Ruby.’

‘Love you too mum,’ Ruby replied. She smiled at them both and left the room, closing the door behind her.

Charlie shifted her gaze back to the woman, who was now standing in front of her.

‘You know, this could be classed as trespassing,’ Charlie said.

‘Well Sergeant, you better arrest me then,’ Joey Collins said with a smile. She pulled their bodies close and pressed her lips to Charlie’s.

All the pain and heartache left Charlie’s thoughts, because in this moment, she was where she wanted to be. She was happy at last.

Entry 2 - The Unexpected

This wasn't where he wanted to be. Mustiness crept into the darkish room and infected every corner. He could smell the crap of animals all over the floor. He was pretty sure that he had stepped into one of the deposits but he didn’t want to find out.

He had spent nearly 4 months in this hellhole, breathing in the mustiness and the awkwardness of the people around him.

He was stuck in this room but the strangest thing occurred to him, he wasn’t alone, the physical presence of 5 other people made sure of that but he still felt like he was isolated and eradicated away from the other people in this small and yet open plan place.

‘Man’ he muttered to himself

‘Lady’ another murmured

‘Human’

‘Dog’

‘Crap’

‘Life’

The voices continued until for the first time in what felt like a long time, silence fell. These people as he called them always spoke but it was so far from normal, but then he didn’t even know what was normal.

‘Come here’ a voice ordered. Was it reality or his mind?

‘Come here’ the voice said again with urgency

‘Come here!’ the voice said shaking him out of his dream or illusion, he was so out of it he didn’t even realise that not everything was as it seems.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked as he opened his eyes, it had been yet another dream. It felt so vivid and real.

‘Yep, sorry I fell asleep. I said I would help you and that’s what I should have done’

He frowned ‘Relax Aden, its not the biggest deal in the world. Anyway your father is here;’

Aden stood up ‘I don’t want to talk to him’

‘Just listen to him’ he said as he opened the door and let his father in.

‘Aden’

He didn’t reply, he was so indifferent to the point where he honestly didn’t give a damn what he thought anymore.

‘Talk to him’ he said in the distance before he closed the door and left him alone with his father.

‘I know you are angry but it’s for the best’ Larry said after a few moments of silence.

Aden was still very bitter at the past and didn’t say anything to him. Instead he concentrated on the shadow on the floor left by the table and the chairs, every few seconds; the shadow shuddered slowly as an effect of the wind from the open window.

‘I am sorry that you think my actions were wrong or misguided but I had to do what was best for you.

‘Best for me?’ he said as he was unable to keep his emotions in check

‘I know its hard being here but it’s the best place for you’

‘It’s a hellhole, I hate it here’

‘I know but your behaviour warrants it.’

‘I have done nothing but try my hardest to move on’

‘But you’re still holding onto the past, you can never truly move forward whilst you are holding onto something that doesn’t exist. Not anymore’ he said with a hint of sadness penetrating his thoughts.

Aden thought about that ‘I miss my life; I wish it could go back to the way it used to be’

‘If you embrace this and use it to help you move forward, then you will be fine’

He was at a loss, ‘how?’

‘I can’t answer that son, you have to’

**

Life goes on, everything changes. These were the philosophy of people’s life when their current existence ceases to be.

Spending days and money as well as everything else in order to get his life back to where it was to where he wanted it to be. He realised that he couldn’t, it had finally hit him that his life had changed massively and he couldn’t get back to where he wanted to be.

Walking across the beach later on that morning made him feel a bit emotional and depressed; he didn’t know how to get back to where he was.

‘Aden?’

He spun around and saw Justin in front of him ‘What do you want?’ he spat out in disgust.

‘Don’t do this, you are ruining your own life like this’

‘Do I even have a life!’ he said in exasperation!

Justin tried to reassure Aden that despite everything, life is the same with a few changes. He could see that Aden was tired and needed to move on but he wasn’t sure how to make him understand.

**

Aden saw Justin yet again a few hours later, he was walking towards the end of the beach and turned up onto Stewarts Point.

He didn’t know why he was here, he felt like someone was pushing him here and a sudden gust of wind smashed past his face.

‘Stop ignoring the facts’

‘I don’t want to’

‘Grow up and remember, everything happens for a reason’

Justin stopped a few metres away and looked at the sign on the wall. Aden wanted to run faraway from the situation but again he couldn’t, he felt like he was being pulled to it.

Aden looked at it.

It read

In Memoriam of Aden Jefferies:

Loving husband, son and brother.

Rest in Peace

**

You have until next Saturday 23rd midnight GMT time to vote.

Enjoy reading

[lozlovesh&a]

I like the first one Searching. Mainly cos it was a twist that I wasn't expecting (like I thought she was searching for people that were missing, my thought went straight to Hugo & Martha but then I loved how it turned into Joey being there). And I love anything with Jarlie in it. Not saying that the Aden one was bad, cos it was really good. I'm just voting for Searching.

[Red Ranger 1]

Entry #1 - Searching

This cultivated a nice sense of mystery, with the questions of what had happened to Charlie and how she’d messed up.The fact I knew there was a twist in there meant I was constantly trying to figure out what all the little clues were adding up to:Escaped prisoners?Missing children?The final revelation that it was Joey trying to run away from her wasn’t one I immediately considered, although I did work it out before it was made clear.The interaction between Charlie and Ruby was nice as well, portraying them as having a close mother/daughter relationship.

Entry #2 – The Unexpected

This one was full of mystery, taking its time to reveal who the characters were, where they were, how they got there and what was happening to them.The twist that Aden was dead and unable to “move on” was definitely not one I was expecting.Perhaps the mystery is a little too deep and a little too unexplained:Even on a second reading, I had a hard time working out the identity of some of the characters, the significance of certain aspects, how exactly Aden and, apparently, Justin came to be dead.But perhaps questions like that are best left up to the reader to interpret for themselves.

A very hard choice but I’m going for Entry #2.

[HighwayUnicorn]

Wow. Okay. I must admit, I originally read this when it was posted.

But it's been such a hard decision that I thought I would re-read it until I was certain on the one I am voting for.

Searching

Charlie closed her eyes, wanting everything to vanish from her thoughts. She leant against the back of the closed door, her mind racing. She slid to the floor and before she knew it, tears had escaped from her eyes.

I really liked this beginning sentence. It worked really well & gave us the impression that obviously something was wrong & made me personally as a reader want to continue the story. It gave me an insight to Charlie & her personality straight away & I felt extremely sorry for her because as we know, she's a strong & independent woman, so to see her upset & almost like her barrier is coming down, made me feel extremely sorry for her because something was obviously wrong with her.

The way it then continued worked really well & I loved how you protrayed Charlie's emotions perfectly & her guilt & almost like shame that she was experiencing, yet Ruby supporting her & helping her through everything. Their relationship was written beautifully & the emotions were so in character.

All the pain and heartache left Charlie’s thoughts, because in this moment, she was where she wanted to be. She was happy at last.

The last sentences worked really nicely & drew a beautiful conclusion. It really showed the relationship of Ruby & Charlie well, with Ruby wanting to do something for her mum & then obviously the relationship between Joey & Charlie, & how Joey's existance & then her appearance made everything better.

I think it was written really well, with us knowing that Charlie was happy, yet, you could tell that although Charlie was happy for now, even she's aware that it may not last forever, with the part

because in this moment, she was where she wanted to be.

It was like it gave us an insight to knowing that she was happy for now but knew that not everything is perfect & there will be problems in them having a relationship & they could overcome those issues, but the fact that she was happy for now worked really well because everyone knows things change.

The strengths of this one shot was definitely the emotions & the characterisation of everyone because those parts in particular were genuinely perfectly written & it made a really good impression. The twist was good as well ... I must admit, not something I really expected but after reading it, it wasn't a surprise when I thought about it logically but there was a nice mix of different relationships in there between everyone.

I hate this part now but constructive criticism. There wasn't anything that majorly stood out for me that I thought was written 'badly' or anything. & to be completely honest, the only thing I can suggest is making it longer? & adding descriptive writing? I think with extra description, such as Charlie's thoughts or points of view, so as we knew exactly what she was thinking, rather than her just saying it, would have made it more realistic & we would have got to know her character better & her personality. Saying that, even with just the dialogue, it still worked really well. But there was absolutely nothing wrong with it & you wrote it amazingly well so thank you for entering the contest.

The Unexpected

Again, the beginning to this one was just extraordinarily written & whilst reading it, I honestly could see the description in front of me, the sights, sounds, smells, etc.

This wasn't where he wanted to be. Mustiness crept into the darkish room and infected every corner. He could smell the crap of animals all over the floor. He was pretty sure that he had stepped into one of the deposits but he didn’t want to find out.

It worked really nicely to begin with, feeling symapthy for the character & not even knowing who it was. So already, the character had us feeling sorry for them without even knowing them & you could tell things were really rough for them.

He had spent nearly 4 months in this hellhole, breathing in the mustiness and the awkwardness of the people around him.

He was stuck in this room but the strangest thing occurred to him, he wasn’t alone, the physical presence of 5 other people made sure of that but he still felt like he was isolated and eradicated away from the other people in this small and yet open plan place.

That part was so true to life & I think for a lot of people has occured at least once in their life ... I know it has for me. The fact that you're not physically alone & that there could be a room full of people, yet you feel alone because nobody can ever understand what you're feeling, thinking or going through & for a few sentences, really made such sense & reality really hit home reading that bit so well done for that.

‘But you’re still holding onto the past, you can never truly move forward whilst you are holding onto something that doesn’t exist. Not anymore’ he said with a hint of sadness penetrating his thoughts.

That was another sentence I really liked reading. The fact that no matter how hard you can try to move on, it's never easy & you can't move forward until you overcome something in the past.

Life goes on, everything changes. These were the philosophy of people’s life when their current existence ceases to be.

This was another sentence I liked, just the pure portrayal of it ... it was just written so beautifully, so perfectly & I loved the way it was written. It's very difficult to explain what I particularly liked about the sentence but it was something that kept replaying in my mind & I couldn't let go of it ... I think it was the truth in it that made it stand out ... life goes on, everything changes.

Like RR1, the twist was something I really didn't expect & I found it confusing to understand that Aden was dead but after a couple of reads, it definitely became more clearer. Saying that, it's very difficult to portray something like that when writing & wording can be very difficult to do correctly when the twist is something major like this. I even find this type of thing confusing in moves & that's just being acted, when it's being written & you are the writier, it's a very difficult skill to obtain but you wrote it brilliantly & clearly with so much effort.

The strengths that you portrayed in your writing are pretty obvious; the wording in some of those quotes I pointed out are just fantastic & the description read amazingly well & created some fantastic imagery for me as a reader & I'm sure others have felt that way too.

Again, constructive criticism. All I can suggest really is perhaps mentioning Aden's death because that confused me as to how he died. But the writing is something I did not have an issue with ... there was imagery & perfect description (very descriptive in my opinion).

Verdict

Both of you wrote these perfectly & just amazingly well. I just wished they could be longer or even turned into a short fic so as we could see the aftermath of everything & everyone's relationships, etc. Like I said in both reviews, nothing stood out majorly that I would improve & you have both clearly put a lot of effort into them so extremely well done & you both deserve a medal for writing that because I know to put a twist in a fic, especially a one shot, is extremely difficult & takes a lot of time to be able to write, especially with the standard you both wrote.

But my vote goes to entry number two, The Unexpected because of the particular twist ... something that I would have never expected at all.

But well done to the author of entry number one.