Quick Fanfiction Contest Archive

[Miranda]

Gosh, this is a hard choice. They are both really well written entries with unexpected twists. I think I'll go for Searching though, because the style is slightly easier to read in that the sentences flow better. But it is very, very close. Well done to both. I love stories with a twist

[Jen]

I’m one of those people, that, if given a book or complete story, I’m so very tempted to skip to the end, read the last paragraph and then go back and read from the beginning. I did not do this, this time, because I really wanted to see if the ‘twist’ as going to be effective in both stories.

Entry 1 - Searching

I like that the story starts with emotion, and then you find out later what has caused it. The Charlie character is very strong, and we always seem to see her in a position of power and authority, and with some sense of control, that it was definitely interesting and captivating to see her in this place where she wasn’t in control, and felt like she didn’t live up to her position.

As far as offering some sort of constructive criticism, I don’t know what to make of Ruby calling Charlie, “Mum”. She has never done that in the show, and their relationship if certainly not what one would call ‘normal’, so for me, reading that throughout the whole story was a bit off-putting, but it didn’t really distract from the main plot, so that was good.

The execution of the twist was what I was looking forward to the most, because that was the theme of the contest. The story progressed at a good pace, with the conversations between Charlie and Ruby being vague enough that you didn’t know what was going on, but also dropping hints about what might have happened. So there was an element of making the reader draw their own conclusions as to what happened.

However, having finished reading and re-reading, I still feel slightly confused. Ruby found Joey, when Charlie couldn’t, but is that separate to the people who Charlie let escape? I didn’t feel like the author was very clear about this point, but it did make me very happy to see Charlie and Joey back together, however briefly before the story ended. What was it that Ruby did to find Joey, that Charlie couldn’t? While I realise that these are short stories (one-shots), there was definitely room to make this part a little bit clearer.

Having said that, I was surprised to an extent of Joey showing back up, so well done to the author for coming up with that idea. It was a nice exploration of the Charlie/Ruby relationship and dynamic, and I liked seeing Ruby as the more mature one in the family.

Entry 2 - The Unexpected

I adore the opening image of the small, claustrophobic space, and really putting the reader right in the middle of it. It was almost a really creepy situation -- not know who the main character was going to be, or where they were, with all these unfamiliar sounds and smells. Very intriguing.

He was stuck in this room but the strangest thing occurred to him, he wasn’t alone, the physical presence of 5 other people made sure of that but he still felt like he was isolated and eradicated away from the other people in this small and yet open plan place.

‘Man’ he muttered to himself

‘Lady’ another murmured

‘Human’

‘Dog’

‘Crap’

‘Life’

This is probably my favourite part of the whole story. Just eh brief descriptions, and it’s almost like you can hear the dejectedness of the people who are stuck there. Powerful stuff.

Finding out it was Aden, and seeing his interaction with Larry and Justin was very well done. It was very well done to have Aden still with his animosity towards his father, and not wanting to have anything to do with him. Both of them acting as some sort of weird conscience, for Aden. Telling him that this is what he deserves and needs, and having to move forward -- it made me wonder whether Aden had done anything really serious where he would end up in this depressing position.

What made this story interesting was the final twist, of Aden not actually being alive. So, the unanswered questions became for me -- Is all this happening in Aden’s head? Are Larry and Justin still alive, or are they his ‘guides’ as it were, to move on to the afterlife? In my mind, Aden was existing in some sort of limbo, being unable to leave behind his life and go on. But that doesn’t really explain what Larry and Justin were doing there. I would like to know how old Aden is (maybe a date on the plaque could have given an indication), because then I would have known why Larry and Justin were there with him. Also, how did Aden die? (Maybe Aden sees sort of newspaper article) This sort of story, definitely could be expanded into something longer, if the author wanted, but I understand that this is a ‘Quick’ contest, so all the detail doesn’t get included. I’d be interested to hear what the author actually thought, though. After the reveal, of course.

Well done to both authors, and the difference in the stories. They were both unique, and tackled the ‘twist’ theme in appropriate and intriguing ways. My vote however, has to go to Entry 2, because I just feel like the twist was more surprising, and executed in an interesting way.

[charmed60]

Firstly wow thank you so much for the feedback so far, I'm really pleased with the response and I'm sure the writers are over the moon with the detailed feedback people are giving. So thank you very much

[Inactive User]

I had been reading and re-reading both entries. They are really well-written. I have to admit the first entry-Searching is my favourite one so far because:

*The character intercations e.g. emoticons in the entry were suitable and beautifully-written. I loved reading every word of the first entry because it was suitable to my taste I can feel Charlie's pain and wondering who she was searching for. I liked the Charlie/Ruby relationship dymanic-really touching and beautiful.

*I liked the ending. Charlie's reaction to whoever was sitting on the bed was well done. It made me happy when Joey returned and then there was a lovely reunion between Jarlie. Well done whoever had written this entry-good job!

So I vote for Searching because it's my favourite

[ldscott]

I loved both entries but I have to Vote for number 2- The unexpected. This is because it was a twist that I was definately not expecting.

[charmed60]

Voting is now closed Thank you all for your amazing response and lengthy feedback! Results will be up soon!

[QUIET ACHIEVER]

Fanfic Contest #23

A huge congratulations to Zetti who was the winner of the contest for her one shot fic The Unexpected.

It was a fantastically written one shot with a beautifully crafted twist so well done.

A special mention also to elikell for their fic Searching. It was an extremely close fic with one vote difference which reflects the standard of both fics.

I'd like to thank you both for taking part in the contest and also thank those who read and took the time to review; especially those who took the time to write a lengthy, detailed reply; which I'm sure both Zetti and Elikell are extremely grateful for.

Zetti - it's now your turn to host the next contest

[Zetti]

Thanks for all the awesome entries that I have got. Please take the time to read and review each entry. Your review does not have to be very long, just a couple of lines to say what you thought. Any comments that do not state a reason for liking that entry will be disqualified so please do not comment without a reason. Thanks

--

Entry One:

Confession time

“Leah, can I speak to you please darling?” I asked walking into the diner.

“Sure, what’s up?” Leah replied leading me to an empty table. We sat down.

“I like Elijah” I said getting straight to the point.

“Oh” Leah replied.

I didn’t know whether that was a good Oh or a bad Oh. “And he likes me” I added.

“Right” Leah said.

“So I was just wondering, how do you feel about that?” I asked awkwardly.

“I don’t mind. You know I’m with Miles now. Elijah & I are just friends” Leah said.

“Oh I know that. I just didn’t want anything to wreck our relationship or yours. I wanted you to hear about it from one of us and not from anyone else. I think the truth needed to come out. We have been seeing each other for a few weeks” I explained.

“I think that’s great” she said.

“So you are really okay with this?” I asked

“Of course. It’s nice to see you happy” Leah said.

“Thanks. I am happy” I said.

“Hey guys” Elijah said.

“Hey” I said giving him a kiss.

“Um” He said glancing at Leah.

“Oh it’s okay, she just told me” Leah replied.

“Oh good” Elijah said relieved.

“So we should go” I said to Elijah.

“And I am really happy for you both” Leah said.

“I’m glad” Elijah said.

“See you Leah” I said.

“Bye guys” Leah replied.

We started to walk towards my place holding hands.

“Oh hey guys” Miles said. “Wait. Are you two together?”

“Yes we have been seeing each other for a few weeks” Elijah replied. “You don’t have a problem with that do you?”

“No, of course not. I mean it was just that one night where I woke up and she was lying next to me in my bed” Miles said.

“Oh great Miles you had to bring that up” I said rolling my eyes.

“Why don’t I know about this?” Elijah asked.

“It was nothing. I just threw a party at his place when I was staying there and I was just exhausted so I just found the nearest bed” I said.

“Exhausted?” Miles laughed.

“Okay okay” I said. “So I was drunk. Don’t worry nothing happened”

“Yeah nothing happened” Miles echoed.

Elijah laughed. “I’m not worried” he said.

“Oh so we explained for no reason. That’s not very nice of you Reverend” I said.

“I guess I’ll just have to pay the price” Elijah suggested suggestively.

I grinned. “Come on let’s go. Bye Miles” I said dragging him away.

We reached my place and were relieved to find my housemates otherwise occupied.

“I just want you to know something” Elijah said.

“Oh and what’s that?” I asked.

“You are such a beautiful woman Roo Stewart” Elijah said.

--

Entry Two:

Stone the Flaming Crows

“Look at the way she gleams Mr Stewart.”

“Now Dexter if you think I’m going treat that flaming tin can like a woman you are dreaming”.

“Mr Stewart how you can say such hurtful things she will hear you”

Dexter rushed over and hugged their masterpiece.

“Dexter it’s a flaming homemade robot you great galah”

Alf stood in front of Dex, his arms crossed thinking of the day when he had agreed to build this robot for the TV show Robot Wars. Since giving Dex a job at the Bait Shop Dex had come up with some wacky ideas to drum up business. Alf had dismissed most of them but he did like the idea of some hi tech fishing rods which shot little lasers, which dazed your fish for a while to give you better chance of catching them. But the thing was these fishing rods had only just hit the market in Summer Bay and they cost hundreds of pounds, so when Dex had come up with the idea of entering Robot Wars to raise the funds they needed he jumped at the chance.

“Now Mr Stewart what will we call her I was thinking The Terminator

what you think?

Alf slapped his hand on his forehead.

“Stone the Flaming Crows” he muttered.

“I like it Stone the flaming crows the robot will have to change it’s gender but there you go needs must” Dex said.

“I can’t believe you talked me into this now have you got the weapons sorted”?

“Hammer”?

“Check”

“Blow Torch” ?

“Check”

“Freeze ray”?

“Check left over snow from Christmas kept it in my freezer”

“Ok Dexter see you tomorrow for the big match and we will take those Braxtons brothers down the great galahs.”

“See you tomorrow Mr Stewart” Dex said happily

THE MATCH

“Leave it alone Casey Jeez Brax said it’s fine he will be coaching us on the phone.”

“Heath but we need to do some adjustments to the shotgun reloading system”

“Shut up Casey I’m only doing this to get him off my back for selling drugs at his precious restaurant. I don’t care if everything is prefect he said he will forget it if we get him some money, oh look if it isn’t the geek and the fat man.

Heath and Casey were stood behind Alf and Dex in the queue about to enter the arena

“Name of Robot please” said the person at the door

“Stone The Flaming Crows” Dex said proudly

Alf turned to glare at Heath who was laughing loudly. Casey slapped Dex on the back

“Cool name dude”

“Thanks” Dex smiled

“Next please name of Robot”

“Bulldog” Heath said smiling.

“Welcome ladies and gentleman to the final of the Robot Wars facing off tonight are Stone the Flaming Crows and the much talked about Bulldog, are you ready robots”?.

Alf and Dex sat eagerly with their controls Dex quickly glanced over to the crowd to see Sid Indi and April watching. Dex wondered if winning this contest would give him the guts to asked April out on a date, yes it would he told himself Dex woke up from his thoughts to a loud smash.

“Flaming hell Dexter wake up” Alf moaned.

“Ram them again” Brax shouted down the phone at Heath

“Use the hammer” Alf shouted at Dex excitedly.

Dex brought the hammer down smashing Bulldogs aerial off.

“What now Brax? they just smashed us good”.

“Just take it easy” Brax said on the phone.

“Oh get lost you loser” Heath said tossing his hands free kit out of his ear.

“Now Casey you do what I tell you” Heath moaned “we are not listening to that idiot again.”

“Use the water bombs.”

“Quick use the freeze ray”, Alf said rubbing his hands together jumping up and down.

Big chunks of snow shot out of two toilet rolls as Dex shot the freeze ray it caught Bulldog by surprise.

“What’s happened”? Heath said.

“It’s froze our controls bro” Casey said.

“Give me that” Heath said ripping the controls out of Casey’s hands.

Bulldog flipped little sharps knives out at Stone the flaming Crows.

“Quick shields” Alf shouted at Dex.

The shields came up

The knives flung back at Bulldog piercing it’s ear.

Heath groaned “I will freeze you” Bulldog started shooting out big walls of ice until Stone the Flaming Crows was boxed in.

“You know what’s coming now don’t you”? Dex said grinning Alf Smiled.

Stone the Flaming Crows started burning through the ice with its blow torch.

“Oh I have had enough of this” Heath shouted making Casey jump.

“Time to finish this” Heath sid bringing out the two shotguns

Dex tried to get the speed up to ram Bulldog but was blown back by two shotgun shots the robot stopped dead.

“We have a winner Bulldog”

“Oh flaming hell” Alf shouted. “No hi tech fishing rods for me”

Later that night the players had to stay behind for press photos for Robot Wars. The photo’s had to be with their robots, but Casey had stolen the key to the room with his and Heath robot Bulldog was being kept safe. He had told Dex to keep Heath busy somehow and had gone to smash Bulldog up because he thought Dex and Alf deserved to win.

“What the hell has happened to your flaming robot Casey we never smashed it up that badly” Alf said shocked.

“I don’t know” Casey said winking at Dex.

“Right we all ready for these photos”? the photographer asked “hey wait where’s your brother we need both of you here or you are both disquffeid and we will have to give Stone the Flaming Crows the money.”

I don’t know Casey said

“In the toilet I should imagine” Dex said grinning.

Why both of Alf and Casey asked

“Ah don’t you think levitates are a beautiful thing?”.

--

Entry Three:

The Line

‘I just don’t know what I’m doing anymore,’ Charlie said exasperated. She sat at her desk at the Police Station and put her head in her hands, frustrated at the days work. She felt like crying.

‘Sergeant, there are days when things don’t go our way. You know that,’ Watson said. She put a hand on Charlie’s shoulder reassuringly. ‘It’s like they teach us at the Academy, not everything will go as planned.’

Charlie looked up at Watson, who smiled down at her.

Watson removed her hand and walked around Charlie’s desk. She sat down and looked at Charlie.

Charlie looked away from her before she looked back.

‘Thanks Watson. You’re a smart woman. I’m glad they transferred you here. You’ve kept me sane,’ Charlie said. She smiled briefly.

Watson smiled back.

‘I am too,’ Watson half-whispered.

Constable Georgie Watson had been transferred to Summer Bay a month earlier, after graduating from the Police Academy just over a year ago. She had travelled the world before deciding on a career in the Police Force. Watson and Charlie had become close friends over the past month.

‘Now if there’s nothing else, I should get back to work. I don’t want the boss to think I’m slacking off,’ Watson said.

A smiled curled Charlie’s lips. ‘I think you’ll be okay. Thanks for all your help today,’ Charlie said.

Watson looked into Charlie’s brown eyes deeply and nodded. She wanted to say something but found herself blurting out a general response. ‘You’re welcome. Any time you need help just let me know.’ Watson got up from her chair and walked over to the closed door. She moved to open it.

‘Georgie?’ Charlie called.

Watson turned around and faced Charlie.

‘What are you up to later?’ Charlie asked.

‘Umm, I was thinking of getting a bite to eat at the Diner. After the day I’ve had I’ll probably just curl up in bed with a good book afterward. Why?’

‘I was wondering if you’d consider having a drink with me at the bar,’ Charlie said. She shook her head. ‘But if you’re busy it’s okay. I can’t compete with a good book.’

Watson smiled. ‘A drink sounds good.’

A smile lit up Charlie’s face. ‘I’ll meet you there. Say 7.30?’

Watson nodded. ‘I’ll see you then.’ She opened the door and disappeared into the bustling station.

Charlie sat back in her chair and exhaled sharply. A lone tear escaped her eye silently.

Charlie walked along the beach. She carried her shoes in her hand. Her long brown hair whipped up around her face. She made her way slowly toward The Bar and caught a glimpse of a stunning red dress on the top of the sand dune. She stopped and turned to look. Watson was wearing a long red dress. Her short brown hair swirled in the breeze.

Charlie stared up at her and took a deep breath. Her heart skipped a beat. She looked amazing. Watson noticed Charlie on the beach and waved at her. Charlie smiled and waved back. She made her way up the sand dune toward Watson.

‘Hey,’ Charlie said. ‘I love your dress.’

‘Oh thanks. You look amazing,’ Watson said. ‘Thanks for inviting me out for a drink. A book in bed is just pathetic.’ She shook her head at herself.

The women hugged tightly. They broke apart. Watson took in Charlie’s deep blue dress. She smiled to herself and wondered if tonight was a good idea. She continued to tell herself that it was.

‘Can we talk for a minute?’ Charlie asked. She motioned her hand to a park bench nearby. Watson nodded. They made their way over to it. They sat down next to each other.

‘So what did you want to talk about?’ Watson asked.

Charlie suddenly became nervous. She wrung her hands together and looked across at Watson. Her heart began to beat faster. Don’t be so nervous you idiot she told herself.

‘There’s something I need to tell you,’ Charlie said.

‘What?’ Watson asked. She looked deep into Charlie’s eyes, concerned.

They stared at each other for several minutes before Charlie spoke.

‘Would you agree that actions speak louder than words?’ Charlie asked.

Watson blinked, shocked at the question. ‘Yes I would,’ she answered truthfully.

Charlie smiled. ‘Then this is what I want to tell you.’ She leant over and pressed her lips against Watson’s.

Watson was shocked at first but quickly reciprocated the kiss. They pulled themselves closer together on the park bench. The kiss deepened.

After several minutes they pulled apart.

‘Where’s the line?’ Watson asked when they spoke again. She brushed her hand across Charlie’s face. Charlie closed her eyes momentarily at Watson’s gentle touch. She opened her eyes and look at Watson.

‘Where do we draw the line?’ Watson continued.

‘There are no lines,’ Charlie whispered. ‘Not tonight. Not ever.’ She put a hand on Watson’s face gently and smiled.

‘Do you want to get out of here?’ Watson asked.

Charlie smiled and nodded. She stood up and pulled Watson to her feet. They kissed again before they headed off, hand-in-hand. Broad smiles lit up their faces.

‘Can I ask you something?’ Watson asked. She looked at Charlie. They were sitting on the couch in Charlie’s house. More than half a bottle of vodka was already drunk between them.

Charlie smiled and nodded. She poured two more shots and handed one to Watson, who took it.

‘When did you know?’ Watson asked. She downed the vodka and looked over at Charlie.

‘When you took down that perp on like your second day here,’ Charlie said. ‘For someone who’d only been in the job a year, you did it so gracefully. And skilfully. You were amazing.’ She smiled and downed her drink. ‘You?’

Watson looked at her. ‘When I first saw you. You’re the most beautiful woman in the world. When I first walked into the station and saw your smile, I knew I was going to fall for you. You have no idea how much restraint I had to use on myself not to jump on you every time I saw you,’ Watson said. She poured them both another shot each.

‘I wouldn’t have minded that,’ Charlie said. She pecked Watson’s cheek gently. They drank their vodka simultaneously and slammed the glasses on the coffee table.

Charlie smiled. Her brown eyes twinkled in the lowered lighting. She caught a twinkle in Watson’s brown eyes and smiled harder. Her heart fluttered. She moved her hand down Watson’s back.

Watson leaned in and pressed their lips together. Their hands searched the others body gently, tenderly. They became more passionate.

Charlie stood up and pulled Watson up with her. Charlie led her to her bedroom, their lips firmly locked, their hands all over the other’s body. They pulled at each others clothes desperately.

The bedroom door closed shut behind them. They fell onto Charlie’s bed in a passionate embrace.

Both women were happy at last.

Entry Four:

If You Text It I’ll Delete It

Like all modern romances, Dex finds out via Facebook.

Indigo Walker is single

Indi isn’t going to tell Dex what happened, that much is abundantly clear, so he is going to have to figure it out for himself.

The first port of call is Romeo, obviously. But he’s uncooperative. Even when Romeo was at his most chipper he always seemed to have trouble communicating what he was feeling. Now, Dex might as well be trying to have a conversation with a one of those sterilised pandas at the zoo, that only grunt and eat bamboo.

April is in her own world, and Dex is really trying this new thing where he is being a supportive friend in real life, as opposed to just liking her Facebook status. But occasionally, Dex thinks things would just be easier if all communication was textual instead of face to face, and those are the days when Dex grabs his laptop and bundles himself into the back corner of the library, in the art history section which no one ever visits, and just blogs.

It’s comforting, and Dex figures it counts as research if he logs in to Facebook to see that Indi has defriended both Romeo and Ruby. Which is, interesting, to say the least.

There’s a loud thump, and Dex jumps. There is a low hiss and a whispered swear word and then the next thing Dex knows he is face to face with Xavier.

“Oh,” Dex says, still slightly startled.

Xavier is bending over; picking up a hardcover book that looks like it weighs a ton, which he dropped. Hence, the swearing. Xavier sheepishly picks up the reference and attempts to subtly replace it on the shelf. Dex notices the title.

“Philosophy, huh?”

Xavier flicks his eyes from the spine of the book to Dex. “Yeah. So?”

“Nothing, just. I just didn’t pick you as a philosophical kind of guy.”

“Yeah, well. You don’t know me,” Xavier replies. And well, Dex can’t fault him there.

There’s this awkward moment where Dex should probably turn and leave Xavier to whatever it is that he was doing and is obviously embarrassed about, but Dex kind of just stands there. Xavier shuffles from one foot to the other, before attempting to take a step past Dex in the narrow aisle.

“Do you know what’s going on with Indi?” Dex blurts out.

Xavier stops and turns back to face Dex. “Why would I know what’s going on with your sister?”

“Well, she and Romeo are not speaking anymore, in fact I’m fairly certain they are broken up, and I just wondered if you knew why,” Dex replies.

Xavier is looking at him strangely. One eyebrow quirked up in confusion, mouth tilted up at the corners. “Again, why would I know that?”

Dex sighs, because apparently he has to spell it out. “You and Romeo. Weren’t you like, ‘bros’?” Dex uses the air quotes and everything. “I figured he might have told you what happened.”

“I’ve had my own stuff to deal with, dude. So, Romeo’s love life is not high on my list of priorities.”

“Would that stuff be philosophy by any chance?” Dex asks, and by the look on Xavier’s face, Dex knows he’s right.

“There’s a girl,” Xavier finally concedes, and Dex rolls his eyes. There is always a girl. “She’s great, and funny, and smart.” Dex is waiting for the catch. “And she thinks I’m a philosophy student.” Ah, there it is.

Dex nods sympathetically. “I see.”

“I didn’t think it would be this confusing, you know?” Xavier confesses.

“I have to admit, learning philosophy to impress a girl, that does take some commitment. But I suppose I could help you out,” Dex says with a shrug.

“You? How could you help me?” Xavier asks, sceptically.

“My dad is a doctor. I have medical journals at my disposal. Not to mention the fact that I’ve been enrolled in online courses for the past two years. Trust me, I can help.”

“What’s the catch?” Dex really likes it when people understand where he’s coming from.

“You need to help me figure out what happened between my sister and your friend.”

--

“Remind me again why I’m doing this?” Xavier complains again.

“Because you don’t want to look like an idiot in front of this girl, whatever her name is.”

“Miranda,” Xavier supplies with a dreamy sigh.

“Right.” Dex doesn’t particularly care.

They are sitting in the Surf Club, and Xavier keeps flicking his eyes across to the pool table, obviously wishing he could be playing, as opposed to studying the intricacies of Schrödinger’s cat.

“I just didn’t think it would be this hard,” he whines.

“Look, personally I think you are setting yourself up for a whole load of trouble by lying to this girl --”

“--She made the assumption! --”

“Because she is inevitably going to find out. And then she will dump you, and you’ll be left heartbroken and depressed, and probably go on some rebellious streak because you are unable to express yourself.”

“Or,” Xavier counters. “Or she will be so impressed because I went to so much trouble to impress her, that she won’t care, and we’ll be together forever.”

Dex has to resist the urge to roll his eyes.

“I’m just saying. I’m already dealing with one broken relationship. I do not want to be in the middle of another one.”

“Why are you so interested in finding out what happened? I didn’t think you would care,” Xavier says.

Dex shrugs. “Indi is my sister, and as such I don’t actually hate her. And she’s just been so sad lately -- you know, I likened her sullen expression to Bella Swan and she didn’t even react. Nothing.” Dex sighs. “It’s no fun when she’s not fighting back.”

Between Schrödinger’s cat (--“No, Xavier. It isn’t animal cruelty.”) and another round of juices, Romeo walks into the surf club. Xavier is running his hands through his hair, frustrated, when Dex looks up and sees him.

“Go talk to him,” Dex urges.

“What? Why me? I’m still trying to work out why someone would keep a cat in a box if it’s dead.”

“Just -- Just go and see if you can find out what he’s doing tonight,” Dex replies quickly, snatching the philosophy text book out of Xavier’s hand and pointing him towards Romeo who is standing at the juice counter.

Dex watches intently as Xavier walks up to Romeo, casually, hands in his pockets. He shoots Dex a quick look before opening his mouth.

This is where Dex decides it would be really useful to be able to read lips. All Dex can tell is that Romeo shrugs and doesn’t really react when Xavier slaps him jovially on the shoulder, a great big grin plastered on his face. Romeo opens his mouth, saying one word, maybe, before Xavier is turning heading back to the table.

“Well?”

“Nothing,” Xavier replies resolutely.

“Nothing at all?” Dex can’t believe how little progress they have made. This is certainly turning out to be more difficult than he anticipated.

Xavier shrugs. “He didn’t even seem interested in Miranda. I told him we should hang out tonight, but he said he was busy.”

“Busy with what?” Dex asks.

“I dunno. He didn’t say.”

“Well, why didn’t you ask him?”

“Because it’s none of my business.”

“Of course it’s your business,” Dex snaps, and Xavier seems a little taken aback. “That’s the whole point of this. We need to figure out what he’s done. He could be meeting up for a secret rendezvous, and we need to be there.”

--

Dex drops a note into Xavier’s locker between first and second period, because if they are going to do this, then they are going to need a plan.

Xavier however, just strolls up to Dex in science and waves the folded piece of paper in front of his face. Dex looks up from his text book.

“What is this?” Xavier demands.

“Put that away,” Dex hisses. “That is top secret intel.”

“Top secret --? It’s a piece of paper with a bunch of numbers on it.”

“It’s a code,” Dex replies. Dex wonders why he bothers trying to keep things professional with Xavier around. “Once you decode it, memorise the location then destroy the note.”

“Can’t you just text me?” Xavier asks.

“What if someone intercepts the message? Or your phone goes missing? It could jeopardise the whole mission.”

“This isn’t an episode of Star Wars, there is no mission!”

And Dex is just about to argue with Xavier about the many things wrong with that statement, but Mrs Palmer walks in. Xavier is lucky that their science teacher is his mother otherwise Dex might not have been so restrained. He ends up passing a piece of paper to Xavier when Mrs Palmer’s back is turned. This time, sadly, without the secret code.

--

“Dude, what are you wearing?” Xavier asks slowly, eyes taking in Dex’s appearance.

“What?”

Dex is in all black, he’s streaked black war paint under both of his eyes, and if anything he is disappointed that Xavier didn’t take the same initiative. He’s in board shorts and a t-shirt, and if they are going to try to blend in with their surroundings, then Xavier had better hope that there is some sort of Hawaiian foliage, so Xavier doesn’t stand out.

“You look like Harriet the Spy,” Xavier says.

“I don’t know whether I should be offended, or impressed that you actually know who that is,” Dex replies.

They end up watching from a distance, seeing Romeo leave his house and trail him all the way to the Diner. They watch through the window as Romeo sits at a table near the counter, and slip in unnoticed as Irene bundles him up and begins chatting. Romeo looks disinterested as Dex slides into his seat in the far corner, his back to Romeo.

Xavier immediately goes for the menu, and Dex has to slap his hand away, reminding him that they are there to watch Romeo, not eat.

“But your note said to meet you at seven, and that means I’m missing dinner,” Xavier says with a slight pout.

Dex sighs. “Just tell me what he’s doing.”

Xavier looks over Dex’s shoulder. “He’s sitting there.”

“You’re going to have to be a bit more descriptive.”

“I dunno, dude. He’s just texting on his phone. This is verging on being really creepy.”

According to Dex’s exact time-keeping, they sit in the Diner for 32 minutes, while Romeo sips at a milkshake and picks at his fries. Intermittently Dex coyly looks over at Romeo, who doesn’t ever look up. He just continues to stir his milkshake with his straw and stare down at his phone.

Their cover is almost blown by Colleen who bustles over to their table asking to take their orders. She notices Dex’s outfit and asks him if he’s become one of those, “Nemo’s.”

“It’s Emo, Colleen,” Dex replies, while Xavier orders a burger just to p*ss him off.

--

“You know I’m fairly certain that if Charlie caught us creeping in bushes, we would totally get arrested.”

“Spying isn’t a crime,” Dex whispers back. “Now stop talking.”

“I’m just saying, I don’t think Miranda will date me if I have a criminal record,” Xavier continues.

Dex elbows him in the side as Romeo stops walking along the beach. He stands for a moment, looking around, and Dex ducks down lower into the prickly bushes at the top of the sand dunes. It’s not the most comfortable position to be in, (with Xavier’s knee in his back) but they’ve got a good view of Romeo on the beach, without him seeing them.

“Or maybe she digs bad boys, in which case I’m barking up the wrong tree with the whole philosophy thing.”

“Xavier, seriously,” Dex hisses.

“Someone’s coming,” Xavier whispers after a while.

Dex looks where Xavier is staring, and sure enough, a small figure is walking towards Romeo. Romeo turns, seeing the person and waits for them to reach him.

“It’s Ruby,” Dex comments, as he recognises the curly hair and short stature. She reaches up and attempts to hug Romeo, but Romeo takes a step back, avoiding her embrace.

They are having some sort of discussion and Dex is trying really hard to work out what they are talking about, but Xavier has decided that now is the most opportune time to talk to Dex.

“What’s going on with April?”

“Nothing,” Dex whispers back, focussing his eyes on Romeo.

“Do you like her, though?”

“We’re friends, of course I like her.”

“That’s not what I meant. Like, like like her.”

“I don’t know,” Dex says with a shrug. “I think one of those likes put me off.”

“Because I know she’s my ex and everything so this might be a bit weird, but if you want to go out, then I’m cool with it.”

“I’m so glad you approve,” Dex deadpans.

“Wait,” Xavier says after an extended pause. “You’re not gay are you? Because if you are, that’s cool, just, you should probably tell April.”

“Can we just focus, please!” Dex snaps, a little bit louder than he intended. But Xavier closes his mouth, so it’s effective nonetheless.

--

“Wow,” Xavier says. “She must really like him.”

“How can you tell?” Dex asks.

“Ruby is cute, and if she likes you, then she’s not going to take no for an answer. She’s trying every trick she knows. She’s looking up at him through her eyelashes, twirling a piece of hair around her finger. I dated her, so I know.”

“That actually makes sense,” Dex says finally, watching as Ruby steps forward, linking their hands together.

At that move however, Romeo snatches his hand away, exclaiming, “It was just sex!” so that even Dex and Xavier couldn’t have misheard it. Ruby looks stunned for moment, before ducking her head, turning and running in the opposite direction.

Dex can’t really feel his feet because he’s been crouched in the same position for the best part of an hour, and maybe he stopped breathing for a little while because now he’s feeling a bit light-headed.

“Damn,” Xavier finally says. And Dex can’t really argue with that.

--

Dex sees Romeo next when he’s walking along the beach. He’s supposed to be meeting Xavier, but he hasn’t shown, so there is now this awkward moment where Dex has seen Romeo but Romeo hasn’t seen him. It would be so easy for Dex to just ignore him, to pull out his phone and pretend to be texting someone as Romeo strolls past. But Dex feels this sort of obligation. He has this information, and what’s the point of having this information if he’s not going to use it, or at least confront Romeo about it.

“Hey!” Dex calls out to Romeo. Romeo stops and turns, spying Dex, he holds his hand up in a small wave. He doesn’t know what Dex knows.

“Look, I know, okay,” Dex says without preamble.

“Know what?” Romeo asks cautiously.

“I know about you and Ruby, and frankly I didn’t think you were that kind of guy.”

“Dex, it’s not what you think-- ”

“So you didn’t have sex with Ruby?” Dex questions.

Romeo looks sheepish. “Well, yeah.”

“While you were still dating Indi?”

Romeo’s brow furrows. He presses his palm into his face, like he’s trying to erase the memory.

“How did you find out?” Romeo finally asks.

“I have my sources,” Dex replies cryptically. “The point is, I’m fulfilling my brotherly obligation by telling you to stay away from my sister.”

“Dex, come on.”

“I’m serious, Romeo. If I see you trying to talk to Indi or anything, well. Let’s say I won’t be held responsible for my actions.”

“Are you saying that you would beat me up? Because, no offense dude, but you don’t strike me as a physical violence type of guy.”

“I have other means,” Dex replies vaguely, before turning and walking away, leaving Romeo more confused than before.

--

“You don’t have to worry about Romeo,” Dex tells Indi.

She’s lying on the lounge, feet up on the armrest, which she’s always telling Dex not to do, but Dex doesn’t say anything.

“What are you talking about?” She sounds tired.

“Romeo. He’s not going to cause any more trouble,” Dex states.

Indi watches Dex for a few moments, probably trying to gauge whether he is being serious or not. He is. “Look, Dex, just don’t get involved okay?” Too late for that, Dex thinks. “I’ve already had dad threatening Romeo for even looking at me twice.”

Dex is mildly impressed that their father would take an interest. It’s almost like they are a family or something. “Yeah, well. Romeo is a douchebag, he deserves it.” Dex knows that his father can be scary when he gets angry or defensive.

“You know Ruby is now with Casey Braxton,” Indi says finally. She’s got her eyes on the tv screen, pretending to be disinterested, but her trembling voice gives her away. It hurts more that she’s willing to admit.

“Apparently that girl gets around,” Dex says, raising a critical eyebrow.

Indi sighs. “I just don’t understand why she gets the happy ending if I don’t.”

“Look, Indi. You don’t need Romeo. You don’t need any guy, really. And frankly if you could stay away from dating altogether for a while, say the next five years, then that would be great. It’d keep dad off my back about getting a girlfriend.”

“I knew that you’d have your own motives,” Indi replies.

“Of course,” Dex says with a shrug. “What? You think I actually like you?”

Indi huffs, but Dex sees a trace of a smile on her lips as she says, “Can you just leave me alone to mope in my own self-pity?”

Dex nods as Indi turns back to the tv.

[to Xavier: Phase 2 is a go. Meet me at 8 am. 900s section of the library.]

--

The following morning Dex is waiting from 8am until the first bell for Xavier to show. When he doesn’t, and the librarian kicks Dex out and tells him to go to class, Dex assumes he must have come down with some life-threatening disease and is lying on his deathbed, and certainly won’t be in first period. But as soon as Dex walks in, he sees Xavier, phone out, texting away without a care in the world.

“Where were you?” Dex demands.

“Hey, dude!” Xavier looks up, a broad smile on his face.

“We had a meeting,” Dex says.

“Oh,” Xavier replies, smile faltering for a moment. “Sorry, I forgot.”

Dex heaves a dramatic sigh. “It’s fine,” he says dismissively, although he’s still sort of annoyed. “We just need to go over the plans.”

“What plans?” Xavier asks slowly. He seems to notice the stack of papers in Dex’s hands.

“For Phase 2.”

“Phase 2?”

“Yes. Phase 2: Frozen Yoghurt.”

“Huh?”

“It’s cryptic. Because revenge is a dish best served cold.” Honestly, Dex wonders why he bothers. “You didn’t think we would obtain all that information and then do nothing, did you?”

Xavier glances down at his phone, and Dex can tell he’s itching to get back to whatever he was doing before Dex bombarded him.

“The thing is,” Xavier begins, “I’ve been texting Miranda all day, and I think I’m just about ready to ask her out on a proper date.”

“Are you serious?”

“Well, yeah. And it’s all thanks to you, man.” Xavier stands in his place and slaps Dex on the shoulder affectionately. “She totally loved that whole Ding-Dong-Cat-In-The-Box thing.”

“You make it sound like a nursery rhyme.”

“Who cares? I’ve almost got a new girlfriend who is smoking hot in a bikini and likes me for my brain.” Xavier is positively beaming as he sits back down.

“It’s all going to end in tears,” Dex tells him. “Yours, not hers.” Dex pats Xavier on the shoulder sympathetically and shakes his head then makes his way to his seat.

Maybe it would all come to this, Dex thinks. Xavier has his girl (almost), and somehow Dex figures he’s closer to understanding his sister, so it’s a win-win. It was never going to be anything longer than a short lived working relationship.

Dex sends a quick text himself before Mrs Palmer starts the lesson.

[to Indi: I’ve got your back. And the plans to prove it.]

But if Dex has learned anything from this experience it would be that he needs to be a bit more selective when deciding on a sidekick for future reconnaissance missions. Maybe with the right training, VJ could be a faithful companion.

END.

----

Edit: Added Closing Date

Tuesday 31st May 2011 9pm GMT

[Miranda]

Entry One.

I really liked the way the author kept the secret of who 'I' was right til the last minute. Very clever. The onmly thing that gave it away was that she called Leah 'darling'. A cute idea, Elijah and Roo, and a nice neat story.

Entry Two

haha, Alf and Dex, brilliant. I loved the humour in this, Casey sabotaging his own robot cos he thought Dex and Alf should win, and Heath really ending up suffering. Alf and Dex, the ultimate unlikely friends. Dex working at the Bait Shop with unconventional ideas for business.

Entry Three

I liked Charlie and Watson finally getting together, I'm sure this has been in many people's minds for a long time. Its well written and a nice glimpse of their life.

Entry Four

There is a lot of funny stuff in this, very clever references to things. I loved the idea of Dex threatening Romeo, even though Romeo wasn't worried. Dex should have told him off in the series for hurting Indi, I don't know why he didn't. Anyway, I liked the 'mission impossible' air of this story, even though it was a little too long for my poor old eyes.

Er, now which to vote for.... they are all good, this is the bit I hate doing... eeny meeny miny mo.... I vote for... Entry Two simply because thinking of Dex and Alf as besties makes me laugh.

But they are all as good as each other, so they all deserve to win.

[HighwayUnicorn]

Almost forgot to comment on this. I read it this morning.

Entry One Beautifully written. A nice story & I like the idea of Elijah & Roo.

Entry Two I like the fact that it was different. Dex & Alf was brilliant. I generally loved that idea. Very unusual but I enjoyed it.

Entry Three This one was so nice & unique compared to others that I have read. Something different to read & it was written beautifully.

Entry Four A nice lengthy entry with plenty of description, loved it being Dex & Romeo as well. Fantastically written.

Final Verdict They were all written beautifully & everyone deserves recognition for entering (& wow, four entry's!). But my favourite one, for the reasons given, is entry three.