Quick Fanfiction Contest Archive

[Zetti]

Entry One: I was confused at several points. I reread it but it didnt stand out to me as to who it was. It was written well & interesting to read so well done to the author.

Entry Two: Very well written & in parts emotionally perfect. I has no idea where it was leading to but it was a surprise & I enjoyed it. The characters were written well & it was very very interesting. So well done

My vote goes to entry two because I thought the emotions were spot on.

[Jen]

Entry 1

While the premise for the return of Ric and Mattie was a good idea, I don’t think it transferred well into this fic. Setting it in the first person, particularly Roo’s point of view, made it hard for me to relate to what was happening, especially since the story relied heavily on dialogue. The story could be improved by adding more descriptions to the plot, rather than just conversations between the characters. I adored Ric and Mattie’s news though .

Entry 2

Okay, first of all such a good idea for this fic. It is so unique, the idea of bringing back Little Pippa and then smashing my heart to pieces with Sally being dead. Seeing her interact with all the older characters was wonderful and heartwarming. I probably would have aged Pippa up a bit, just because some of what she was saying seemed a bit too ‘old’ for an eight year old, and logistically speaking I don’t know how she would have been able to get back to Summer Bay on her own.

Overall, both entries had good ideas and clear themes running through them, but in the end I was more engaged by Entry 2. Well done to both authors.

[pembie]

Entry 1

This was very well written

I like how the writer wrote the piece as if tey were the character

At first I thought the person was Colleen when they came for their mail

But it was a shame because I guessed who the person was soon after I thought I would be guessing who the person was up untill the end of the story. but even thogh I knew who it was I enjoyed it very much It was nice to bring Ric and Mattie back to see Alf.

Entry 2

Wow what can I say about this peice well it was very emotionful It was edge of the seat stuff

and I wasn't expecting it the end did shock me.

Both entries were really good and I can see a lot of thought has gone into them well done to both of the writers

But my vote goes to Entry 2 because it was very emotionful and I was shocked by it

[HighwayUnicorn]

I read this and found them very difficult to choose between and so it took me a while to decide.

Anyway, I liked entry one. It was written very well and I liked the whole first person approach to it ... generally because it fascinates me ... I'm terrible at writing in first person and congratulate anyone that can ... it makes a nice change when reading as well. Saying that, it was a bit more difficult for me to understand that it was Roo. Great character interaction as well! But like I said, brilliantly written so well done.

Entry two was brilliant too and it had me wondering the whole way through. I liked the interaction between the characters and then the portrayal of the emotions used too. The only thing I found was that Pippa was a bit too mature and it didn't seem completely in character with everything she was saying ... it was spot on at times but not consistant ... but saying that, it didn't affect how good the plot was.

Like I said, this was really difficult and I loved both of the entries and clearly, a lot of thought, effort and hard work has gone into them but I'm voting for number one. Having it in first person made such a nice change and regardless of it taking me a while to understand, having read it a second time, it made me understand it more and I really enjoyed it ... although I did enjoy both of them.

[Red Ranger 1]

Alf’s Surprise

Intended or not, I spent the first few paragraphs wondering if there was going to be some twist about the identity of the narrator and it wasn’t until Alf mentioned Sid that I was sure it was Roo.The idea of her bringing Ric and Matilda back to cheer up Alf was a nice one and it was good that they had some news to share rather than just turning up.It did seem at times though that characters had been included just for the sake of it, wandering through the story without contributing anything to it.With a story this length, it’s often better to just focus on the central idea.

Unexpected Return

This one set up a nice sense of mystery with the appearance of Little Pippa and the question of how she got there and what had happened to Sally.Her constant evasiveness suggested something was amiss and, although not exactly unexpected, it packed a punch.It did seem however that the story didn’t really have anywhere to go once the revelation came and it might have been better to end on a more concluding note.

Both writers deserve credit for their efforts but I’m casting my vote for Entry 2.

[soph1303]

Voting closes at 6pm Australian Central Standard Time.

So about an hour left if anyone else wants to vote.

[Chickiboomxx]

Entry one- this entry was very well written. It was an interesting idea writing it from Roo's perspective. I enjoyed reading about Ric and Matilda coming back. They used to be two of my favourite characters.

Entry two- Brilliant entry! I loved the way you brought Pippa into it. You had me intrigued the whole way through. It's very sad that Sally died though. You described the characters very well and I really enjoyed reading it.

It was a very hard decision. Both entries were really well written. You obviously put a lot of effort into them both. I have to go with entry 2 though.

[soph1303]

Fanfiction Contest Closed.

And the Winner is ...... Elikell. Congratulations to elikell for her winning fanfiction entry .

Special mention to lozlovesh&a for an awesome entry,

Elikell its over to you to hold the next contest

[elikell]

Okay, so I only had one entry for this competition, so here it is.

Please take the time to read it and comment on it. Any feedback for the author I'm sure will be greatly appreciated. If you could please leave your feedback by November 1st, we can then move onto the next competition or something. Thanks!

The topic was:

Something is wrong with Alf, but what? And how will it be resolved?

Bottle it up

Alf Stewart watched the wave’s crash against the cliff’s on the beach of Summer Bay. It was early morning, the sun was beginning to rise and the beach was practically empty which left Alf alone with his thoughts. Not that he wanted to be alone with them, but he didn’t really have the choice. The sun beat down on his face as Alf adjusted his hat to protect himself. He exhaled deeply before lying down on the powdered sand underneath him. He dozed off, becoming aware of how exhausted he actually was since he arrived in the bay. Everyone he knew and loved needed his help and although they didn’t know it, he needed their help too.

“Mr Stewart?” Alf rose suddenly to the voice belonging to a young female as she shook him to wake him. “I’m sorry but you fell asleep”

Alf smiled at the young girl as he sat upright. The sun was higher in the sky as when he watched it earlier. April Scott smiled but it was obvious Mr Stewart was lost in his own thoughts. She sat down beside him, slightly intimidated by his status in the bay.

“Thank you April” Alf smiled warmly to the girl who flushed with pride. She’d never really spoken to him before; she never really had the chance.

“Do you want me to walk you home?” she asked keeping up the politeness. Alf shook his head as the heat from the day meant sweat was beginning to form on his forehead. He used the back of his hand to wipe the sweat away, his right brow wrinkling in confusion as he did so.

“Are you okay?” April asked noticing Alf exhale. Alf turned to the young girl and smiled, a smile so sincere and warm that April forgot how intimidated she ever was by the older guy.

“I’m fine lovey just got a lot of things on my mind that’s all”

April nodded ruffling the school uniform she was wearing as she did so.

“You want to talk about it?” She asked concerned for his well-being. Alf shook his head at her and she nodded again. “You know where I am...see you later Mr Stewart”

With that April rose and walked away onto the beachfront.

“Wait April” Alf called out behind her. Smiling to herself she re-joined him on the sand.

“You can tell me you know what’s wrong. I promise I won’t tell anyone”

Alf nodded as he looked at the honesty on the girls face. Exhaling, he knew he could trust her not to say anything. He felt that he had to get things off his chest and somehow he felt April was the one to help him through it. Glancing down onto the beach Roo Stewart witnessed the scene between the pair. Bianca Scott stood beside her as the two turned towards each other and smiled.

“Looks like my dad’s made a new friend” Roo laughed as Alf unloaded his problems to the younger girl. Bianca smiled, acknowledging April’s caring nature as she listened to Alf. Roo and Bianca turned away to the diner, every so often looking back to witness the new friendship.

“Mr Stewart I’m so sorry” April gasped having listened to what was troubling Alf. Alf nodded and struggled to smile as his life quivered. He held his head in his hands for a brief moment. April felt the right thing to do was to wrap her arms around him.

“It’s not your fault” Alf’s voice was quieter than when he spoke before. He almost whispered it, as if he was ready to cry at any second. April broke away from the hug and smiled warmly once more.

No sooner than Alf had unloaded his problems onto the teenager, April revealed she had to go to school but she could stay if he wanted her too. Alf dismissed this claim instantly, forgetting all his problems for a moment and beginning to lecture April on the importance of school and practically pushed her in the right direction. He walked her along the beach on his way to go home. She turned to smile at him before leaving him with the wise words:

“They deserve to know Mr Stewart”

Alf knew she was right, he just felt the time was too soon, infact he had to get his own head around the matter first. He waved to the young girl as she walked further and further away until she was just a tiny figure in the distance. Alf turned away. Sighing again he walked back to the place he called home.

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No sooner than Alf had stepped through the door he’d already been bombarded by Miles and Marilyn who were chatting at the table as well as Roo something along the lines of breakfast from the kitchen. Alf sat down at the nearest chair on the table as Roo brought him in a freshly made coffee. He just stared into the mug, watching the coffee swirl round from when it had been stirred. Alf flinched when Roo touched his shoulder.

“Dad?” Roo asked as she knelt beside him. “You alright?”

“Yeah you don’t look so good Alf” Miles spoke through a mouthful of toast.

“Nonsense I’m fine” Alf spoke quite meekly as he rose snatching the newspaper that lay on the table. Miles shrugged and turned back to his conversation with Marilyn but Roo studied her dad’s expressions and body language closely. He turned around and smiled before making his way upstairs. Roo glanced behind him.

“There’s something up with him”

“Roo he just said there wasn’t” Miles stated what Alf had said to him previous. Roo sighed not knowing how Miles could possibly have the brains to teach year 12 English sometimes.

“He’s lying. I’m his daughter I can tell these things”

“Well then why don’t you go ask him?”

Roo laughed of the suggestion that Miles made before sitting down on the chair Alf had previously sat on.

“I can’t do that. He’ll only get upset and then he’ll push us all away even more”

Miles shrugged once more obviously out of suggestions on what to do next. Roo scratched her head in confusion remembering the conversation between Alf and April previously that morning. She rose, picked up her bag and made her way to Summer Bay High.

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“Am I in trouble Mrs Palmer?” April asked as Gina collected her from Italian class. Gina smiled warmly, relieving April a great deal.

“No don’t worry. It’s just Roo Stewart would like a word with you”

“Oh okay” April frowned in confusion as she wondered what Roo would want to do with her. Maybe plan an environmental event for Summer Bay. April was already in mid-day dream of this fantastic idea when they reached Gina’s office where Roo sat. She apologized quickly for having to take April out of class especially so close to exam time. Gina accepted the apology and told her not to delay Miss Scott too long. She left the pair alone to talk.

“Look April. I saw you and dad earlier on the beach and he just seems a bit pre-occupied. Do you know what’s wrong with him?”

April flinched slightly with absolutely no intentions of breaking her promise.

“I can’t tell you I’m sorry”

“April please” Roo looked at her with pleading eyes which only resulted in April feeling even more uncomfortable. “He’s my dad”

“I told him to tell you and he said he would”

“Tell us what? Please April”

“I can’t I made a promise not to tell”

“Can’t you give us a hint. Is it to do with Romeo’s chartering business or the Riverboys or Harvey?” April shook her head.

“I’m so sorry Roo” she spoke at last as Gina made her way back to the office.

“Guys I’m sorry but April has to head back to class now”

Roo nodded as the young girl rose from the chair muttering I’m sorry once more to Roo. Even though she was confused for April not telling her what was up with Alf, Roo had to respect the girl’s honesty. Gina smiled at Roo who rose also.

“Thanks Gina. I better be off now busy day at the surf club” Roo smiled as she made her way to the door.

“No problems Roo. Give my love to John will you?”

Roo nodded as she headed out the door more confused than ever. She was confused about what April and her dad knew that she didn’t and why April was the one Alf confided in.She looked in direction of the surf club knowing that was where she was supposed to go. But she knew she had to find out what was happening with her dad. So glancing at the surf club once more she turned around and headed back to Summer Bay house.

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“What do you mean?” Alf growled down the phone, startling Roo as he did so. He acknowledged her before calming down a great deal. “Can I call you back please”

He hung up the phone as Roo glanced at him. He smiled and tried to dismiss his anger on the phone but Roo was no fool . She threw her belongings on the table.

“Dad please talk to me. You’ve not been the same ever since you came back from the city. What happened?”

“Nothing happened in the city. Can’t a man be a little wound up without it meaning anything?”

“No not when it’s you especially because I know something is wrong Dad. And even April won’t say anything”

“Why on earth would you speak to April?”

“Because I saw you on the beach. And do you know what she said she said she couldn’t tell me what was going on because she promised you she wouldn’t say anything so I know something is wrong. Dad please tell me. Are you sick? Are you leaving again?”

Alf softened considerably as Roo began to sob and placed an arm round her shoulder as he tried to sooth her cries. Roo leant against her dads shoulder

.

“I can’t love” Alf whispered. “I just can’t”

He pushed Roo away from him and walked out the door. Roo dried her eyes when someone knocked on the door. A woman in their late-twenties entered holding a small child by the hand.

“Can I help you?”

“Ruth Stewart?” The woman recited her name in full form as the young infant squirmed. Roo invited them in totally dazed as to who they were and what they wanted. Smiling at the pair she offered them tea and juice but they politely refused. The woman’s face fell serious as she told Roo who she was and what she was doing here.

“I can’t believe it” Roo gasped as the tears came. She sniffed as the woman offered her a tissue. The infant sensed the cries and began whimpering too. Suddenly it all became clear to Roo about the way Alf was acting. She tried to stop crying but she couldn’t. Roo ran out of Summer Bay house and paced to the place she knew her dad would be. The beach. The tears blurred her vision as she tried to keep running and to not trip. Finally she reached the beach to see Alf sitting in the same place, deep in his own thought. He turned around to see her run down the beach, tears in her eyes and hair all over the place.

“Martha...Martha’s dead?” she choked as she spoke these words. She began sobbing louder as Alf wrapped his arms around her.

“I went to the city and I thought I’d pay Martha a visit. There were no phon calls or letters so I decided to surprise her. Her and Hugo were shot Roo” Alf blinked back the tears in his own eyes but it was no use.

“The child...” Roo asked remembering the young infant sitting in the house. Alf wiped away a few tears and took of his hat.

“She’s Martha’s daughter. Your granddaughter and my great-granddaughter” Alf whispered as he stroked Roo’s hair. Roo sunk into her father's arms as the pair sat down to see the sun-set.

Together they cried as they sat down to remember the main girl in both their lives and how she was gone forever. Martha McKenzie may have gone but she would never, ever be forgotten. Not her daughter lived on in memory of her mum and Alf and Roo? Well they were going to do the best they possibly could for their new addition to the family.

[soph1303]

Wow great entry!

Shame no one else entered though.