Quick Fanfiction Contest Archive

[Georgia]

Entry One: I liked how you captured Aden's thoughts, and his description of Belle at the beginning. You could tell that he really liked her. As previously said, it could have been improved if there was hints that Belle liked Aden as well, as the ending did seem a bit abrupt

Entry Two: I liked the attempts at poetry, and you really got into the character's thoughts. The ending was a good twist, Geoff wasn't on the list of people I was expecting it to be... but it made reading your entry rewarding

Entry Three: I liked how it was writing from Ruby's point of view, instead of the "secret admirers". I liked the interaction between Ruby and Nicole, you wrote that really well, and I could imagine it happening. Some parts of the story seemed slightly disconnected, but overall, I liked it.

Entry Four: The ending was slightly abrupt, and it could have been more detailed, but the beginning was strong, and it was a nice change to be inside Angelo's head. I liked how Roman was in the story as well, it's a nice change.

Entry Five: The beginning was good, I liked how the guy was getting the presents, and how Roman immediately thought it was either Nic or Aden getting the rose. I also liked how Colleen and the others had set them up, it was an interesting bit to read, and Miles better watch out, because it looks like he's next !

Entry Six: The poems were well written, and the relationship between Aden and Mattie was nice to read as well. I also enjoyed the ending, as it leaves it open for a follow up sometime in the future.

I'm voting for Entry 5, but a special mention goes to entry 6, as that was great to read as well

[HAA Girl 08]

Entry 5 - this story flowed well, and the characters meshed together nicely. Simple sentences made easy and enjoyable reading. Well done.

[Miranda]

A Secret Admirer

Due to the confusion over whether authors of entries should or shouldn't post reviews of entries, I am going to award only first prize:

Entry 5 [by Marigoldly] Well done!

Special mentions to entries 3 [tessalove], 4 [Danni02] and 6 [meant2live] too as they were all praised by reviewers.

Thanks to the other entrants [ish the Angel and adellejefferiesxox].

I'm glad I didn't have to vote, because the stories were all so good!

[TelephotoMarigold]

Hello All,

Below are the entries for the Quick Fan Fic Contest #4.

Judging is open to all and closes 12pm GMT /9pm AEST Sunday 29th November.

Love Tele

Entry 1

I’ve never felt so happy in all my life, I’ve finally found that someone that makes you automatically smile just looking at them, I found my true love in the shape and form of Geoffrey Campbell, I never thought that I’d find love, I was the girl who just wanted to party and have fun, I had no intentions of a serious relationship, but here I am 6 months down the line happily in love with my boyfriend.

Of course I’m still the party animal that I’ve always been, But Geoff has brought out something different in me, Something I never thought I’d even see, never mind the rest of the world, Geoff had succeeded in something I thought impossible, he had made me, Nicole Franklin a good person and I love him dearly for that. Of course I’d changed him, He was a devoted Christian, but when we met he changed, I felt bad at first, I was drawing him away from what he always believed in, but he reassured me and told me this was what he wanted. We had both changed for each other, and our relationship was like magic.

Love is that feeling inside you that makes your heart pound. That makes you tingle every time you feel, I get that feeling when I’m with you

We have our ups and downs but what relationship doesn’t? We always get back on the right path, the path of love.

“Nicole? Are you here?” His voice always makes me smile and sends tingles down my spine

“I’m in here” I reply cheerfully, I here his footsteps getting closer, and that makes my heart beat, every time, I hear his voice or smell his aftershave or even here the way he walks my heart beat speeds up and a smile takes over my face.

“What are you doing tonight?” he asked as he finally enters the room, my eyes fixate on him and I smile

“Whatever your doing” I giggle

“Good, Were having a picnic on the beach, Be ready by 6” He grins, I look away blushing, even though we’ve been going out for months he still makes my knee’s weak every time he looks at me.

“I will be” I smile unable to stop it creeping onto my face

“See you late then, I’m meeting Annie for lunch” He waves and makes his way out of the door, not forgetting to kiss me before, his lips are soft and moist, every time I kiss him I feel like a millionaire, like a princess, Nothing Is better than Geoff Campbell

I spend the day lazing around, I had a swim and came back to get ready to meet Geoff,, I do my hair and put on a dress, casual but sexy.

I leave to head to the beach, I know exactly were he will be, Our little spot, The first place we kissed, It’s quite deserted and it’s very special to us, We said we would have our wedding on that spot, but that’s jumping ahead I think. I look around and there he is, sitting on the picnic blanket with candles lit and loads of food, He stands up and kisses me before we sit down to eat.

“This looks great” I smile

“Only the best for you” There he goes again, sending the tingles up my spine with his sexy soft voice.

After the picnic we just lay there cuddling together, It’s become quite a habit, we do it all the time, but I love it, It’s romantic and peaceful, But tonight was very different, Instead of just hearing the ocean we hear a heart retching scream, We look up to see a young girl running down the beach, we stand up. I gasp in horror as I see what she’s running from, A crazed man running after her pointing a gun straight at her back, she see’s us and runs toward us, I grab her hand, she shaking from head to toe, my breathing quickens as the man catches up, he stops right in front of us, Geoff pulls both me and the girl behind him.

“Mate, I don’t want to do this, let her go and we’ll be on our way”

“No, I’m not going to let you kill her, She’s just a young girl”

“A young girl that hurt my daughter”

“Mr. Samuels, I swear it wasn’t me, I’m friends with Gabi!” She pleads

“Come one mate, put the gun down, I’m sure we can sort this all out”

“She needs to pay for what she done to Gabi! She might have brain damage, my little girl might not be able to walk or worse she might not be out of that hospital”

“But please it wasn’t me, I would never do anything to hurt Gabs”

“Move out of the way or I’ll shoot you” he held the gun at Geoff’s chest, “3, 2, 1”

I knew he was serious, something I saw in his eyes, before I knew I leapt in front of Geoff and a hard bullet entered my chest, the last thing I remember was hitting the warm sand and Geoff cry out.

I’ve never given much thought to how I would die, but dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go. I can’t bring myself to regret the decisions that brought me face to face with death, it saved the person I loved most in the world.

I woke up in the hospital bed, Geoff sitting beside clinging onto my hand i try to use my voice but nothing seems to be coming out. I squeeze his hand and his head comes up he looks me in the eyes

“Why did you do it?”

“I couldn’t live without you” it was the truth, if I had of let Geoff take that bullet I wouldn’t be able to go on with life.

He pulls something from his pocket, a ring. “Marry me?”

I nod my head, not trusting my voice, tears fall from my eyes, He wipes them away.

“Everything’s going to alright”, But I know its not, This may be my last chance to tell him I love him, this may be the last chance I have to hold his hand. Something is telling me this is the last time I’ll open my eyes.

“I love you, One day we’ll meet again. And for now just know how much I love you, and that I will never stop loving you, But I need you to move on.” More tears fall down my face, it’s taking up energy, energy that I don’t have, “Put the ring on” I lift my hand up and he slips the ring on my finger “Goodbye Geoff, Don’t be afraid to move on”

“Nic, what are you talking about? Your going to be fine” this time he’s the one crying

“I love you” The last words I speak on earth, and then I’m gone the bright light of death consumes me, I left my one true love behind, but one day we will meet again, and we will be together forever.

Entry 2

The first time I set my eyes on Summer Bay years ago, gazing at the glistening wilderness of ocean beyond the beach, I knew this was a very special place. It is here I met the love of my life – Angelo, my Angel.

Today seems like an ordinary day, Angelo and I are on our break so we decide to go to the Surf Club for lunch. These days we rarely get time off work. As a couple we hardly get alone time together. As the year comes to a close, the rate of crime increases, which makes it even more difficult to organise outings. Angelo lately has been really stressed over the murder mystery that has been unfolding and his obsession with Hugo has nearly driven him half way to the funny farm. I try my best to ease his emotional distress, every chance I get I tell Angelo how much I love him, giving him a quick kiss and cuddle.

“Isn’t this lovely” I smile at him but he seems distracted by Hugo sitting in the corner alone. “Babe” I say but Angelo continues to be memorised by Hugo’s presence. “I have an ultra-sound tomorrow...are you excited as I am?” I say hoping this would break his focus. “ANGELO!” I wave my hands in front of his eyes. “Sorry” He smiles at me, but then looks back at Hugo. “Is there something you want to tell me...do you fancy Hugo Austin” I say jokingly. “No...” Angelo mumbles. “Angelo, if you don’t snap out of it I’m leaving” I raise my voice, this catches his attention. “Sorry Charlie, I didn’t mean to ignore you”

“It’s okay. Just please try and stop this ridiculous obsession with him, it’s not healthy” I take his hand and stroke it with my thumb. “Okay....so you said you have an Ultra-sound tomorrow.....what time” His eyes are focused on me. “Angelo I’m impressed you were actually listening” I roll my eyes at him.

“Ha-Ha....what time” He smiles. “Three sharp, don’t be late or I’ll kick your butt”

“You know I do own at gun” Angelo teases me. “Well so do I” I say proudly, Angelo knows that I’ll win any arguments we have. I am 13 weeks pregnant, Angelo has proposed already and we are in the process of finding wedding venues. Belle and Aden’s daughter, Isabella has kindly offered to be the flower girl. She is six years old, she’s adorable.

To my surprise Belle, Aden and Isabella arrive, “Hey guys....won’t be a moment” “Hi!” I wave. “Aw hey” Belle spots us and flashes a warm smile at the two of us. Isabella skips over, “Hi Aunty Charlie....I’ve been practicing my dance for the wedding” Isabella begged her mother to convince me to let her perform a little dance routine she had choreographed herself at the wedding, I couldn’t exactly say no. I couldn’t break a little girls’ heart. “Well I can’t wait to see it” I tell her.

Aden, Belle and Isabella gather around another table. They know Angelo and I haven’t had some alone time with Angelo in such a long time so they allow us to sit by ourselves.

As I watch the three compose themselves, I look beyond them only to see Tony, Rachel and Harry in the gym. Rachel is holding Harry while Tony kisses his forehead.

Hugo is still in another world until he quickly stands up and walks out of the Surf Club with an expression that says he has sorted out whatever was bothering him. “Did you hear what that flamin’ mongrel did to Martha....” He addresses Angelo, Belle, Aden and I as we all watch him leave. I nod at Alf; Belle looks at Aden we all had heard about Martha and Hugo. It was only days ago since Hugo had dumped Martha without an explanation.

“Yes....Yes....in your face!” I hear Xavier say. Romeo, Annie, Jai and Ruby all sigh each adding a comment expressing their disapproval. They were obviously playing pool. Our meals are placed down at the table, Angelo wastes no time and begins to eat. I sigh not feeling hungry as my mind is occupied by so many things. “Nice work Geoff!!” I hear Tony say as he stands in the door way of the gym. “Enjoying our meal?” I say as I realise that Angelo and I are suppose to be having a discussion during our lunch date. “Mmm delicious” He licks his lips. “So I was thinking....maybe we should go away for a week or so”

Even though he is still eating Angelo replies, “Where”

“Anywhere will do....we just need to get away from this madness”

“Agreed” He sighs, I can see how exhausted he is. “Angelo have I told you how much I appreciate and adore you”

“Charlie...?” He stops eating and listens to what I’m about to say. “We’ve been run off our feet and you’ve always taken time to look after me and our baby” I look at my stomach. “Oh”

“I just wanted to say thank you, because when you’re not working or obsessing over Hugo, you really look after me in every way you can”

“You’re my world Charlie...that’s the reason why I do it”

“Every night as I fall asleep in your loving arms, I fall asleep knowing I am one of the luckiest girls’ alive” That’s the last thing I get to say before an alarm goes off. “Aden!” Belle panics. “Alf...what’s happening?” Aden shouts at him. “I don’t know must be a test or something...come on guess we better make our way out” The fire alarm is deafening, Isabella covers her ears, “Mummy” She says panicking tears fill her eyes. “It’s okay baby....” Belle carries her out. Customers leave the Surf Club slowly and annoyed. “Come on you lot....” Alf tells some customers who refuse to leave. “Awww man” Xavier whinges, “Do we have to go....I am so close to kicking these guys butts”

“Come on....out you go” Alf instructs. “Charlie, where are you going” I hear Angelo call to me. “I just want to check it out...”

“Check what out...Charlie come on....” Angelo calls to me. “I’ll be out there in a sec....I’ll meet you outside” I look back, Angelo exists the building. I look in the gym, the Surf Club and the games room for people. I sigh, why did this have to happen today – why couldn’t god let Angelo and I have a stress-free lunch. I turn around; I inhale and cough, “Angelo”. I begin to panic as I can smell the thick suffocating smoke. “Angelo!” I scream. My vision is now hazy, the smoke enters the Surf Club, I can’t see where the fire is, I collapse to the ground, coughing out of my control. I struggle for breath. “Charlie!!” Angelo screams. “An..g.....lo...” I can barely say it loud enough. “CHARLIE” Angelo screams my name again. I am on the floor, hidden behind the wall of Noah’s bar. “H...lp...” My voice is husky. “No.....let go out my.....my fiancée is in there......let go of my arms...” I listen as he is taken away. “N.....o....oo” I cough.

I see a figure come towards me, it’s Hugo. My expression screams help, but he just looks at me expressionless, “I’m sorry I had to do this” and walks away, leaving me here.

Suddenly the temperature in the room increases, it’s boiling hot, I look behind me – I can see the flames. I begin to loose consciousness, this can’t be the end.

Though time has passed, I still see you in my dreams

I knee at your grave, this can’t be goodbye

Goodbye my lover.

You have been the one for me.

Entry 3

It’s a vivid memory... it burns my brain... clouds my senses... completely and utterly overwhelms me. How am I supposed to come back from something like this, how am I supposed to keep functioning when the reason for my entire life is gone, snatched away in a second?

I was the last to know that Geoff had died. When your someone’s ex-girlfriend, you don’t seem to matter anymore, so silly little Nicole got forgotten about

None of them realize how much it hurts. None of them know the secret Geoff took to the grave with him.

He was going to end it with Ruby... we were going to get back together, but no one else knows that, so they don’t bother comforting me. They don’t realize that my heart has just broken into a million tiny pieces, or that the pieces are scattered so widely that it’ll be a miracle if I ever find them all again

Instead of being the one comforted, the one who is allowed to cry, and has people to hold her, I’m the one who has to do the comforting. I have to help Ruby through this difficult time, because that’s what friends do... despite the fact that I can barely breathe

“Rubes”, I whisper softly, trying to pull her from her trance. She hasn’t said anything since I arrived, half an hour after someone thought to tell me.

I feel like I have to make an effort, although I don’t want to. I have to stay, to hold Ruby, to dry her tears, while I cry on the inside

My voice seems to awaken something inside of Ruby. She jumps as if someone has made a loud sound right next to her, and before I know it, her arms are flung around my neck, and her tears are staining my shirt

“I can’t believe he’s gone”, she sobbed, “I loved him so much, and he’s gone. This morning he was talking to me, and he said he had something important to say and that we would have to talk later, and now he’s gone”, she finished, her sobs turning into wails

Geoff had been going to tell Ruby it was over tonight. We could have been together again... we had been this close to reuniting... but now it was ruined, because some stupid man we didn’t know had drunk too much before getting behind the wheel of his car

“Shhh Rubes, it’ll be ok. You’re young; you’ll be able to survive this. Geoff loved you, he would want you to be happy”, I reassure her. I hate having to say these things, but it’s what Ruby needs right now, and it’s what Geoff would have

wanted. He would have been so proud... Nicole Franklin is finally growing up

“I’m so insensitive. You loved Geoff as well... how are you feeling?” she asks, and everything becomes clear.

There are two options right now... I can tell Ruby everything, how Geoff was going to dump her, how we still loved each other, how we were going to get back together...

Or I could forget about the pain that is threatening to destroy me, and help Ruby.

If I go with option one, Ruby won’t want to talk to me anymore, and I still won’t have Geoff, but if I go with option two, the truth will be lost forever...

No one will know how much I loved Geoff Campbell, how I loved him on the day he died, and how he loved me.

But if I tell the truth, his memory will be tainted. No one will remember him for the amazing person he was. All they will remember is that he cheated on his girlfriend with his ex

“Don’t worry about me”, I whisper, “Geoff loved you. You must be in so much pain”, I soothed Ruby, ignoring the tears that pricked at my eyes, and the dull ache radiating from my chest

“I didn’t say a proper goodbye”, Ruby cried, and I found myself nodding in agreement. I hadn’t said goodbye to Geoff either... I hadn’t told him that he was the best thing to ever happen to me, that I loved him even when we weren’t together... and now he was gone, and I’m alone.

“Ruby, you met the most amazing man in the world, and you fell in love, and he loved you back. Anytime you got with him was a blessing, so be thankful for that. Some people never meet their soul mates, but you did”, I tell her, realizing that these words apply to me just as much as Ruby

“Then why did he die?”

“Because that’s the price we have to pay... someone as amazing, and loving as Geoff is only on loan”, I replied, which made Ruby burst into tears again

“Nic, thank you for being here, but can you please leave? I need some time on my own”, Ruby asked, and I was only too happy to oblige

I ran out of the house, and straight to the beach. It was hauntingly beautiful... memories of Geoff seemed to be everywhere...

I allowed myself to collapse onto the sand, and let the tears turn into sobs. The tears flooded my face; the sobs racked my body... so much pain consumed me, just because I loved Geoff Campbell.

I still couldn’t believe that he was gone, that he had left me... he had taken our love to the grave, and I will do the same.

The only thing worse than loving someone that isn’t alive is that no one knows about it... I can’t cry endless tears at his funeral; I can’t mourn for an extended period of time.

I just have to live.

Entry 4

Epilogue

Her laugh. That’s what he missed the most about her. It was a proper belly laugh, where her eyes would fill with tears and her body would shake, causing her hair to fall delicately over her face. It was one of the things he loved most about her, and every time he heard it his face would break into a smile, and somewhere, something inside of him would go all warm and fuzzy with the knowledge that she was his. It was the little things that he craved the most. Making breakfast together, lazing around in bed reading the papers and walks on the beach. Things that were insignificant to every day life, but made never failed to brighten his day. He’d never got tired of Saturday nights bathing their baby, catching her eye and watching her face beam, both of them enthralled by the beautiful little person they’d made together. It had been a long time since he’d heard that laugh.

Two Months Previously

She screamed. The car flipped over as it moved faster and faster, bumping over the bush terrain. Her hand reached out instinctively for her husbands and she squeezed it tight, letting out a howl as she realised the wetness she felt was blood. Her only comfort was that her baby was not in the car – and she squeezed her eyes tight. Then everything stopped.

********************

‘Rachel, Rach, Rach, can you hear me?’ Rachel opened her eyes and gazed around the room groggily. Her head hurt. She swallowed, and tried to sit up, confused as to where she was.

‘Sit down honey,’ Leah whispered gently, as she pushed her shoulder back into the oversized white pillows. ‘You were in an accident,’ she explained soothingly, putting her face close to Rachel’s and running her hand over her head.

Rachel gazed at Leah as panic swept through her body. ‘Where’s Tony? Where is he? Leah,’ her voice broke. ‘And my baby, Oh God where is he!’ She glanced around the room wildly and ripped the drip from her arm, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

‘Rachel,’ Leah cried as she grabbed her and pushed her back on the bed. ‘Please,’ she begged. ‘Lie down sweetie please,’ Leah took a deep breath and gently took her best friend’s hand in hers. ‘Harry is fine. He wasn’t with you in the car. He’s with Martha just now, don’t worry.’

Rachel nodded. ‘And Tony?’ She looked up, the hopefulness in her eyes causing tears to slowly fall down Leah’s face.

Leah just shook her head slowly, squeezing her hand tight and pulling it towards her chest.

‘No,’ Rachel shook her head emphatically. ‘No, no, no. He wouldn’t leave me. He just wouldn’t. There’s been a mistake.’ She smiled at Leah, surprised at the hot tears she felt crawling down her cheeks. ‘Tony wouldn’t die.’ She laughed, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her hospital gown. ‘He just wouldn’t. Not when we still have so much left to do together.’

‘Oh sweetie,’ Leah gently stroked her face with he thumb, desperately trying to hold herself together. ‘I’m just going to sit here with you okay, and when you want to talk you can. I’m not leaving you.’

‘I want to see Harry,’ Rachel said suddenly, pulling her hand away from Leah and again attempting to get out of the bed. ‘He should be with me,’ she said frantically. ‘Why is he not here? He’ll be needing a bottle soon, he’ll be wondering where I am.’ She grabbed Leah’s arm and clutched it. ‘Please, get him for me. I need him here, Leah, I don’t understand,’ she muttered incoherently, her voice breaking.

‘Okay, ok,’ Leah pulled herself from Rachel’s grasp. ‘I’ll just go call Martha and she’ll bring him in. But you have to stay in bed.’ She swallowed the lump in her throat. ‘I’ll just go outside to call her and then I’ll be right back in.’ Leah didn’t allow herself to break down until she was outside the door, her hand frozen on the handle as she pulled it shut.

********************

He desperately wanted to hold her. To tell her that everything was going to be fine and not to worry. He tired not to think about the accident. He felt bad that she’d suffered so much. For him, it had been over the moment the other car hit and they’d skidded down the bank. He couldn’t remember much about it. He wanted to be there now, lying beside her on the bed, tracing her face with his thumb and tucking her caramel curls behind her ears. It broke his heart to see her cry. To see her look so lost and vulnerable. That wasn’t his Rachel.

********************

Martha walked up the corridor slowly, holding a squirming Harry in her arms.

‘Hey, little man,’ Leah tried to smile as she took him from Martha’s arms, kissing his chubby cheek and pulling his blue tigger t-shirt down. ‘Your mummy really wants to see you. How you coping?’ She directed at Martha.

Martha shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. ‘I can’t believe it. It just doesn’t seem real. All I can think about is Rachel. God Leah.’ Martha bent her head down and buried it her hands, her body trembling. ‘Does she know?’ She looked up and gazed towards the door of Rachel’s room.

‘She’s in shock,’ Leah said sadly. ‘She thinks there’s been a mistake. And then she started going on about Harry. I don’t know what this is going to do to her. I mean if she didn’t have him,’ Leah looked at Harry, who was playing with one of her earrings, and letting out little giggles. ‘Hey, bub, you telling stories, huh? Come and tell them to mummy.’

Leah took a deep breath and opened the door. ‘Look who is here!’ she said brightly. As soon as he saw Rachel, Harry squirmed in Leah’s grip and reached his arms out desperately.

‘Hey, sweetheart,’ Rachel exclaimed as she pulled her baby close, snuggling him into her chest. ‘Mummy’s missed you so much. And daddy will be here soon too. Won’t that be nice?’ she cooed as she kissed his cheek.

Leah bit her lip and grimaced as the taste of blood filled her mouth. Feelings of dread filled her stomach. ‘Rach,’ she said softly. ‘Tony didn’t survive the accident,’ she spoke quietly and sat on the bed beside her, rubbing her arm tenderly. ‘I know how you must be feeling right now, but –’

‘I’m fine,’ Rachel insisted angrily. ‘And I don’t understand why you keep telling me my husbands, that he’s.’ She stopped, unable to say the word.

********************

His heart broke then. He knew she had to accept it. If only he could tell he he’d never leave her and that he’d always be watching over her, laughing as she attempted to teach Harry to walk and crying with her when she felt like she couldn’t go on any longer. For a moment he wished she was in his place. Then he could have spared her the pain that was undoubtedly going to consume her for months on end. He smiled as he watched her with their son, ticking his little feet and breaking into a grin as he giggled and waved his little arms in the air, pulling his sky blue hat off his head. He would have given anything to be there, if only for a second. That’s all he would have needed.

********************

‘Hey, Harry,’ Rachel laughed at her son as he gazed up at her and gave her a big gummy smile. ‘I love you so much,’ she closed her eye and breathed in his smell, her heart melting. ‘You look so much like your daddy,’ she smiled and stared at him. ‘You have his eyes, such beautiful eyes,’ her voice broke and wobbled. She looked up at Leah, who was still perched on the corner of the bed, her hand still rubbing her shoulder. ‘He’s not coming back is he?’ She looked at Leah. ‘He’s really, really….gone.’

Leah nodded and sniffed, tasting the salt from her tears. ‘I’m so sorry, Rach.’ She gently prised Harry from Rachel’s arms and handed him to Martha, who’d been standing in the corner of the room the whole time. Rachel had been oblivious. ‘Rach,’ Leah reached out and held her friend as she sobbed, her whole body shaking. Martha held Harry close and walked out of the room quietly as the screams got louder. Leah held her, gripping her back tightly. She closed her eyes and didn’t talk until hours later when exhausted, Rachel had finally quietened down. There were no words.

********************

He smiled sadly, watching as she slept, her face streaked with tears and her heart broken. ‘Goodbye my darling. I’ll always love you. Don’t let Harry forgot how much his daddy loved him. And I’m so proud to have been your husband.’ He closed his eyes, and allowed himself to rest.

Entry 5

Extreme Measures

He had that same smile, that same gaze. She could barely look at him. It hurt her too much. Brought up too many painful memories, memories she wanted to forget. Alcohol had become her new best friend. It had given her comfort and understanding and the ability to forget everything and just write herself off, day after day. No one could understand the pain she was feeling. To lose the love of your life and to still have a living, breathing constant reminder each day felt like a knife being plunged into her heart a thousand times over. She had never expected her happy, perfect life to end up this way. The vodka was her way of dealing with the excruciating pain she felt from the moment she woke up till the moment she would pass out from drinking too much. The first few days after it happened she tried to be strong, she had to be strong for those around her, but it all just became too much. She couldn’t be that strong person everyone wanted her to be. Everyone’s expectations of how she should grieve, how she should continue with her life just all got the better of her. There were so many times she’d contemplate ending it all, but then she’d look over at the little boy fast asleep knocked her back to reality. She’d even stopped drinking so heavily because that little boy, her little boy needed his mum so much. Thinking of him worked for a while, but eventually she’d taught herself to stop listening to that niggling voice in the back of her mind and to just do what she wanted. Forget about everything the only way she knew how. He’d lay their crying day and night, crying out for her, but she’d just blank him. Treat him like he didn’t exist. She just couldn’t do anything, but sit in the darkness listening to her baby’s cries getting more desperate by the minute, just wanting his mum to pick him up and cuddle him, to show him some love. People would come and go, but she’d barely notice them. It was like she was in her own little world, completely secluded by society. It was like time was at a standstill and everyone was getting on with their lives, while she was left behind. She was even blocking out her best friend. The one that had been there through thick and thin. She tried so hard not to get nasty with her or treat her like she wasn’t there. This seemed to be her new trick. Blanking everyone out, like no one understood the pain she was feeling, like no one knew what it felt like to wake up each morning feeling like your heart is being ripped out of your chest. She knew she wasn’t the only one who had ever felt like this. God knows her best friend knew more than anyone what she was going through. Even though she was being treated so badly by her, her best friend still stuck around, purely because she needed someone to stop her completely going off the rails and so that little boy wasn’t neglected. She didn’t mean to neglect him. It was just her way of dealing with things. It was when she looked over at that little boy that it hit her. She needed to think of a more permanent way of dealing with the pain. A way to end it all that couldn’t be reversed. She didn’t want to do it but it was the only way she could end the pain she felt, get rid of the constant reminders that she saw daily, that made it completely impossible to go even a second in a day without feeling unbearable pain. She grabbed a pen and paper and started writing that fateful note, that would turn the lives of everyone she cared about. She wrote that note, not thinking of anyone but herself:

I’m sorry, I just can’t bear the pain anymore. It’s too much. I need to be with him. I’m sorry.

She left the note on her dining table, with the knowledge that someone would be round in the next hour or two. She grabbed her baby and set off for her car. A plan ingrained on her mind. She drove to the only place she knew her plan could be carried out effectively. She parked up right by the cliff edge. She stepped out of the car and stared at the ocean. Her voice calling out into the night

‘It won’t be long my love. We will be with you soon.’

She got back into the car looked at her baby, and then reality had hit her. She couldn’t end her life, let alone his. He was only a baby and he was a baby that needed his mum. She looked up at the sky, tears falling from her red stained eyes, calling out

‘I’m sorry. I can’t do it. I know you wouldn’t want me to. You wouldn’t want me to end my life, let alone our sons. Maybe one day will be together again. Until then, I love you’

She knew she needed to move on with her life and take care of the baby that she and the man she loved so fiercely had created. It wouldn’t be long before she was with Tony again. She knew one day she would see him again. It was just the waiting that would pain her the most.

[charmed60]

Wow, whoever chose the theme, Marigoldy I think it was you? Good choice because it's really brought the talent of the writers out!

Entry 1

A really nice, optimistic ending (apart from the death bit ) I loved the way Nicole was the one who jumped in front of the bullet, it's usually the man who does it in stories so I liked how you changed that, it was a surprise. It was sad also how you built up how happy they were before because it added more effect to her death. Really good story

Entry 2

I liked how you included lots of characters in the story and the fire was really dramatic. I thought it was good how you built the scenery up at the beginning and the point of view was from the person dying. I really liked the use of the song lyrics at the end. It was a poignant ending. I would have liked to read people's thoughts on her death especially Angelo's as I think that would have made it more emotional but I really enjoyed it

Entry 3

I liked the huge twist in this, that Ruby is grieiving for her boyfriend not knowing he was going to break up with her. Nicole was really strong and it was so sad how no-one was comforting her. It's like there's no future or closure for Nicole because no-one knew that they were together and it's quite a chilling thought really effective

Entry 4

I have never cried at a fanfiction...until now. This is a brilliant short fiction, I liked how at the beginning it seemed as if Rachel was the one who had died yet we soon learn it was Tony. I loved the interlinking of Tony watching down on Rachel learning of his death, seeing the nice family moments between her and Harry that he was missing out on and could never be involved in again with Rachel's grief. It was nice how you included other character's pain rather than just Rachel's but one of the saddest things was how you had Harry so happy, he has no idea what's really going on and it's so sad to think he doesn't realise his Dad has died. A chilling moment when Rachel was denying he was dead and telling Harry his daddy would be there soon. And the ending was beautiful. The bit that really choked me, Tony's last words before he was at peace. Beautiful!

Entry 5

This fic was so different in that there were just thoughts and only two pieces of dialogue. I presume the character you were writing about was Rachel so I'll refer to it as her, I apologise if it wasn't! Such a sad sad story; it was really effective how you wrote entirely from Rachel's viewpoint, her explaining her consuming grief and how she reasoned that she couldn't let her and Harry (again I'm sorry if you wasn't him you were writing about) carry on living without Tony. I was so pleased that she didn't kill them in the end and I loved the ending, how she whispered to Tony that she would meet him again soon. A nice ending which makes you think death really isn't the end.

All in all I really enjoyed ALL of those fics but I think a fic that can make you cry shows the talent of the writer as it really had an effect on me. For that reason I'm choosing Entry 4

[tessalove]

All the entried were soo good!

They were all really sad, and I still have tears in my eyes!

I was really stuck between number 3 & 4.

Number 3 was soo good, And it was sort of Niff Lol, I loved hw you had Nicole's emotions and feelings, It was so sad that she couldn't show them!

Number 4 was so emotional, I thought Rachel had died at the start, I loved how you showed her emotion too, The denial and stuff.

I am voting for number 3

Congratualtiosn to everyone though!

[TachelHolden]

They were all really good i enjoyed number 4 & 5 the best , number 5 was so powerful in the way it was written so who ever wrote it done a fantastic job your writing skills are excellent. Number 4 was the one i enjoyed most i have to say it was very emotional nearly had me in tears and it was by far the most realistic fiction i have ever read , to feel Rachel's pain of loosing someone so close to her heart. I love the way person number 4 brought in the little Tony parts to show how he was feeling and i think thats what made the fic win me over.

The others were great so well done to everyone who took part you all have a brilliant writing style!! keep up the good work.

[Inactive User]

They are all well-written. Loved them. So beautiful and sad, touching

[matticus01]

they were all amazing...

But my favourite was definitely #3

the way Nicole thought of Ruby before herself was amazing! I was in tears so well done

[Red Ranger 1]

Entry #1 opened with a nice monologue that captured Nicole’s character and feelings well.There was a nice romantic quality to her scenes with Geoff which spoke of impending disaster.I’ve got mixed feelings about the arrival of the gunman, it seemed a bit abrupt but the idea of Geoff and Nicole effectively getting caught up in someone else’s story is a good one.Unfortunately that story seemed to disappear as abruptly as it arrived though with no explanation for what happened to the gunman and the girl.I was convinced that Geoff was going to get shot so making it Nicole was a nice twist.I’m afraid the ending felt a bit tacked on, though, it might have been better to end it with a simpler moment on the beach.

Entry #2 started very well with a good portrayal of Charlie and her relationship with Angelo and the way his behaviour is affecting them.I thought the comment about the ultrasound was a joke at first so I was surprised to find that Charlie really was pregnant.The middle seemed a bit character-heavy, with too many people suddenly appearing, I’m not sure if the idea was to show how chaotic things were or to present a selection of possible fatalities but it felt a bit confusing.The ending was unfortunately a bit too random, the idea of Hugo setting fire to the surf club felt underdeveloped and Charlie just wandered off and got herself killed, but ending it on her death was a nice touch.

Entry #3 had a very interesting premise.It worked well by dealing with the aftermath of the death, showing Nicole removed from the drama and having to hide her feelings.The idea that she was unable to openly mourn Geoff because no-one knew they were together was a good one and I liked the selfless attitude she showed.I liked the whole sequence of her comforting Ruby and that Ruby didn’t come across as completely self-absorbed and realised that Nicole would be upset as well.It was nice that Nicole seemed to gain some sort of closure from it.

Entry #4 started off extremely well, with some nice twists and turns.The opening two paragraphs led me to believe that Rachel was going to die and that Tony was going to be left on his own so it was a real shock to realise that Tony was dead and we were actually hearing the thoughts of his ghost.Unfortunately I think the story peaked a bit too early, once that revelation came there seemed to be a bunch of scenes of characters sitting around talking which didn’t really add anythingThe closing scenes rescued it by making it about Rachel accepting what had happened and tying things up nicely but I still found the pacing a bit off.

Entry #5 was nicely written with a very long internal monologue.I liked the way it slowly became obvious that Rachel was the narrator without ever once mentioning her name.Her total despair was captured well and I had a sinking feeling when I realised she was planning to commit suicide and even more so when it seemed like she was going to take Harry with her, which turned to relief when she changed her mind and realised it wasn’t what Tony wanted.

So, I’m casting my vote for Entry #3.