Quick Fanfiction Contest Archive

[Red Ranger 1]

I seriously loved this story.Both the characters and their relationship were spot-on and the banter between them was hilarious.And while the ending was hardly a surprise, the way it was arrived at was perfect.

Normally I’d try and point out ways the story could be improved but in this case I can’t actually find any:It had good characterisation, romance, humour and a beginning, a middle and an end, exactly what you’d want from a short story.Well done to whoever wrote it!

[tessalove]

Congratulations to Jen!

Your entry was brilliant! You can now host the next contest!

El xx

[Jen]

Quick Fanfic Contest #14

Theme: Winter

Thank you so much for the entries. I recieved two this time, which is great. Please read and review both, then select your favourite entry. It doesn't have to be an in depth comment, but a few lines saying what you liked/what you think needs improving is all you need. However, if you would like to do a more detailed review then please feel free.

This thread will be closed Friday, August 27 at 7:30pm WST/9:30 EST.

Thank you again!

**

Entry One - Untitled

The rain kept coming down, it wasn’t even droplets anymore, it was like sheets coming from the sky, huge sheets or water. The noise it made on the car made it impossible to concentrate, the window was completely covered in water and it was impossible to see out, all they knew was that they were on the side of the road that lead you back into SummerBay, it would have been suicidal to try and drive, they had no choice but to pull over.

“Were going to die in here” her voice rang out with exaggeration, her face screwed up as she tried to pear out of the windows, slumping back down into the seat as all she could see was water bouncing off the car at every angle

“We’re not going to die, we just have to stay here until the rain eases up and then we can drive back into to town, stop being such a drama queen”

“A drama queen? You’re calling me a drama queen? It’s freezing the rain is going to turn into a flood and I swear if I hear any more thunder I’m going to cry, I’m sorry for thinking the worst of things, but It just so happens that I’m scared!” she spoke “Ok? Happy? Nicole Franklin doesn’t like storms” she added

Romeo laughed a little, but stopped when he caught her gaze “You will be fine Nic, It’s only a little storm, there’s nothing

to be scared about”

Just when the words left his mouth thunder rolled from the sky and a flash of light filled the area “Nothing to be scared

of? Are you listening to that?” she gasped “And what if one of those bolts of thunder hits the car a fries us?”

“Nicole you really need to came down, you know what the odds of getting hit with thunder are don’t you?” he asked his

eyebrows raised as he watched her, she was shaking slightly and you could see that she was panicked, each time

thunder rolled she jumped a little, he eyes filled with fright. He placed his hand on top of one of hers “Seriously Nic,

we’re fine” he told her

She turned her body to look at him “Why does winter have to exist? Why can’t it always just be warm and sunny, I mean

who actually likes this weather?”

“I don’t think it’s about people liking the weather, it’s just the way it is”

“Well it’s stupid!” she groaned “Why do you keep looking at me like that?” she snapped at Romeo

He let out a laugh he was holding in “It’s just its kind of funny to see you like this, you’re always calm and collective and

now you’re a wreck” he laughed again

She hit his arm, her face turning defensive “I’m sorry!” she bit out “But I really can’t help being scared, I’d love to put

you in front of one of your biggest fears and see how collective you would be”

“I wouldn’t be” he said truthfully “I’m not laughing at you, it’s just good to see another side to you that’s all” he smiled

“But your safe” he told her reassuringly

She laughed this time, more of a laugh to calm her nerves, but it made Romeo feel a little bit better that she was a little

bit calmer “Ok, we need to do something to take my mind of this” she said

He looked at her with thought crossing his features “We could just go outside and play in the rain” he giggled

She narrowed her eyes and stared at him “Not even funny” she said

“Fine, fine... 20 questions?” he asked

“What are we 12?” she replied, he shrugged and looked at her waiting for her to come up with a better suggestion “Ok,

20 questions it is, you go first”

He nodded and began thinking “Ok an easy one to start off with; what’s your favourite colour?”

“Your creative” she scoffed with a laugh “Pink” she answered him

“Why am I not surprised?” he chuckled lightly “Your turn”

She nodded “Right... If you could be in this car right now with anyone but me who would it be?”

He thought for a second “Clearly you don’t start with the easy questions” he said still thinking, “I don’t know” he

answered after a few minutes of thought “Can it be a celebrity?” he asked

She shook her head “No, someone you actually know, be realistic Romeo”

“Then no one, Your doing just fine” he smiled

“Are you serious?” she asked him and watched him nod “There’s no one? What about Indi?” she grinned at him

She watched him shake his head “Indi and I are just friends” he told her seriously

“Ok, sorry I jus thought you were getting pretty close, I didn’t mean anything by it”

“That’s okay, we are close. But were just friends I’m kind of sick of people thinking were together, it’s not that there’s

anything wrong with being her boyfriends, it just she’s not really my type”

“And what is your type?”

“Is that your second question?” Romeo asked

“Sure why not” Nicole said, smiling at him waiting for him to answer

“I don’t know, I don’t think I really have a type, I just know that Indi’s isn’t it... She’s a great girl and everything, but

she’s someone I want as a close friend and nothing more, having something else with her would ruin things, and I’m

liking hanging out with her”

Nicole nodded at his answer, smiling at how sweet he was

“What about you? Do you have a type?”

“Not really I dated some loser’s in the past, but they have all been pretty hot” she grinned “Maybe that’s my type anyone

with abs and a cute smile” she sighed “Maybe I’m just so superficial that I ignore all the great guys because I want the

hot ones”

“You're not superficial, I’m sure they haven’t all been that bad”

“Ha!” she spat out “Two of them tried to kill me, actually make that Three”

“Tried to kill you?” Romeo asked slight disbelief to his voice

“Yeah, Elliot tried to drown me, Trey tried to blow me up and Penn pricked me with a needle that could have given me a

disease”

“Wow okay.... that’s slightly scary, but I’m sure they all haven’t been that bad?”

She sighed for a second thought clear on her face “No, I dated Geoff for a while, he was great and sweet and a really

decent guy, and then Aden he was pretty much the same, but I drive everyone away from me, sometimes I think I was

just born to grow old lonely”

“You’re not going to grow old lonely! You’re eighteen Nic you’ll meet someone”

“Why can’t every guy be like you?” she asked him “You would make the perfect boyfriend, your caring, kind and sweet”

“You would be a great girlfriend to Nic, you care so much even though you don’t want people to know, and your fun to be

with and your pretty hot” Romeo bit his tongue, but it was too late the words had already left, what if Nic freaked out?

She laughed brushing the comment off easily, she could help thinking about what he said though, did he really think all

those things about her? “You really think I’m hot?” before she could stop herself she had already asked the question

He found himself tongue tied, not know how to respond. Instead of words he shrugged.

“Romeo?” she asked when she didn’t get an answer, slightly worried about that fact

“Sorry” he said “Yeah I do” he told her and watched as she smiled “You’re really hot and any guy would be lucky to have

you, I can’t believe all the other guys that let you go, I know I wouldn’t” he couldn’t help himself, it was like he had

taken truth pills and he just had to tell her exactly how he felt.

She leant over in her seat and kissed him, he returned the kiss adding more passion. She broke away and looked at

him, his eyes burned into hers, “Maybe winter storms aren’t so bad after all” she said with a smile

***

Entry Two - Winter in Summer Bay

The North wind blew all through the night

And Colleen’s hair was a terrible sight

She’d tossed and turned and turned and tossed

As her Caravan had creaked and groaned

And then turning to Miles she’d moaned.

Poor Miles had barely woken up

For there was no coffee in his cup.

She’d told him of her night-time scare

But Miles couldn’t concentrate cuz of the hair

“It’s a bad winter here in the Bay!” She muttered

Just as Miles dropped the toast he’d buttered.

Then Alf had walked in the room

His face a picture of doom

“No bookings on my boat!” he roared

Poor Miles now looked bored

“It’s the same every year.” He said with a shrug

As he added extra Caffeine to his Mug.

“What can you do?” he asked looking around

And for once Colleen didn’t make a sound

Marilyn walked into the room and gave a smile

“This is the worst winter by a mile.”

Across the Bay sitting in her woollies

Irene scowled looking at the windswept sky

Before she called out a hasty goodbye

“Flippin eck bring on Summer”

She muttered as she did a runner

Down to the Diner she moved with speed

Down came more rain that she didn’t need

With woollies now sodden, soaked and wet

She looked like something you wouldn’t forget

Opening the door with a shaking hand

She wished for a holiday in a sunny land

Winter always made her blue and sad

But add a little sun and she was always glad

Moving around the kitchen with familiar ease

She didn’t notice her woolies were baggy at the knees

Leah and VJ were caught in the rain storm

Closure of the school seemed to be the norm

Running to her car she fell in a puddle up to her neck

Climbing out her clothes a wreck

VJ laughed hard at the picture she made

Until she decided on a fair trade

And dropped him in a puddle of mud

Covering him head to toe in crud

Nic sat home looking out on the scene

Of boyfriends she was inbetween

So she snuggled in a blanket and a big fluffy quilt

Hoping her house was very well built

The wind sounded an awful fright

Whistling all through the night

And she hadn’t slept a wink

But for other reasons than you’d think.

Geoff was off somewhere foreign and hot

Give her a chance and she’d be there like a shot

She thought of Annie off in oriental Japan

She’d visit her if only she can

Although somewhere hot she’d roam

Wintry Summer Bay was her home!

Rachel and Tony stayed home tucked up in bed

Wearing matching bed socks in bright red

Their toes were all warm and toasty

And they were snuggled up and cosy

Out to the gym he would have to go

That much he really did know

But each time he tried to get out of there

She snuggled closer her fingers teasing his hair

And soon about the gym he forgot to care!

Charlie and Angelo in the station they were stuck

And cursing their bad luck

For they’d run out of coffee a while ago

And to the diner they couldn’t go

For a refill or even a flat white

And it had been a very long long night

“Its Winter what do you expect?”

Alf cried out. “Fliping’ eck.”

“It can’t be sunny all year long,

“That would be just wrong!”

Winter is here in Summer Bay

And it looks like it will stay!

**

[charmed60]

It's really really difficult to choose. The first one was really original I thought; it was nice to see a different side to Nicole and an unexpected pairing. Although I originally read it as Roman not Romeo so glad I'd realised before I got to the end The whole story was straight to the point; there was no waffle or unneeded dialogue and I just loved reading their feelings unravel.

The second one was ... hilarious. So different, so fun, nice to see all the characters included and the typical stereotypes made a joke out it. For this reason; the fact that it's something different I think I will vote for the Entry 2 - Winter in Summer Bay.

Both great entries, I really enjoyed reading thank you

[ldscott]

Two very good and different posts but I will vote for number one- I thought the story was great, very easy to read and I could imagine it happening in the show.

[Red Ranger 1]

Entry #1-Untitled

I enjoyed this story very much:The conversation flowed well, the banter was humorous and insightful and it came to a good conclusion.The only thing it really lacked was an insight into the characters’ thoughts, the story was tipped perhaps a bit too heavily towards dialogue, but the words covered their thoughts well enough for it to not really be necessary.

Entry #2-Winter in Summer Bay

This one took me by surprise a bit but once I got into it I liked it.There was some nice imagery and nice wordplay.The only thing that let it down was that occasionally the rhythm didn’t seem to quite fit, which with a piece of writing like this is fairly important.But it was a good idea done well.

Both pieces were very good but I’m casting my vote for Entry #1.

[HighwayUnicorn]

Entry One

It was fantastic. It made me feel like winter was really happening & I was warm & snug inside, because the description it went into was fantastic. Loved that it revolved around Romeo & Nicole. It was very realistic & made so much sense. I could imagine it happening on the show & it planning out just like it was written. It was brilliant which great speech & description.

Entry Two

I thought this was a fantastic idea. I agree with RR1 with it not being consistant with the rhythm but syaing that, I could only spot 2 or 3 mistakes that really stood out for me. It was great wordplay & very imaginative. It was nice to read a part about everyone's winter in Summer Bay & it was different to anything else I've read. It was nice to read some humour in there too.

Both entries were fantastic & a lot of effort was obviously put in which I thought was great so thank you for the hard work but my vote is going to go to Entry One.

[Jen]

Firstly, thank you to both the entrants. I really enjoyed them both.

Secondly, big thank you's to charmed60, ldscott, Red Renger 1 and Carina for your comments and votes.

So, the winning entry was Entry One by tessalove. A big congrats to you!

Entry Two was by Marigoldy, and I want to commend her for taking a risk and being really creative with her entry .

Thread closed.

[tessalove]

Sorry this has taken so long... I've been quite busy..

I had 2 entries for this contest, please vote for your favorite with a reason for your vote... Vote before Wednesday 8th September.

Entry 1

Movie: The Proposal

Tony lay stretched out in the boat, his feet propped up on the edge of the seat as he closed his eyes and allowed the feeling of relaxation to wash over him. The sun beating down on him felt so warm and for a moment he allowed himself to forget about the predicament he was in; the mess that had become his life. What had at first seemed like a quick and easy fix solution had spiralled out of control and become so entangled in lies and deceit that there was no way out of it. Clearing his mind he tried not to let it get to him, if he thought too much about it the feelings of self hate and disgust tore him apart and so as he twiddled his thumbs which were rested on his stomach in an attempt to distract himself, he felt waves of sleepiness and peace overcome him. Suddenly the sound of defiant footsteps trudging along the gravel pathway above him brought him immediately out of his hypnotic state and he opened his eyes to find Rachel angrily kicking pebbles out her way.

“Finally” he muttered under his breath, reaching forward to untie the boat from it’s anchor as she confidently and swiftly marched down the wooden steps which led to the harbour. “Step on in” he greeted sarcastically as she almost jumped into the boat in front of him, causing him to stumble backwards slightly. He rolled his eyes, having become used to her behaviour and reached out towards the final piece of rope which would separate the boat from its port. As he stretched his fingers and pulled it from the anchor the boat suddenly took off, picking up immediate speed as he shrieked and clung onto the side for dear life.

“Woah, woah, woah” he screamed animatedly as he craned his neck round to find Rachel at the wheel, her curly hair flying in the wind behind her. “What on earth has possessed you woman” he squealed, pulling himself along the chairs so that he was kneeling next to her. Tiny bubbles of sea water splashed up onto his face which he wiped away furiously; his body in a state of shock as it tried to catch up with what was happening.

“I need to get away” Rachel explained, her voice shouting above the defiant sound of the boat motor.

“What’s wrong” he yelled.

“Nothing, stop talking..”

“Just tell me what’s wrong” he tried again.

“I said stop talking” she screamed, tears of frustration brimming in her eyes. Tony knew better than to argue with her when she was in this mood and so he leant back for a second, tutting under his breath. This just confirmed to him that the woman was completely nuts. He nervously glanced over at the speedometer and tried not to gulp when he saw the speed she was picking up.

“Okay Rachel, that’s it” he resigned; “just talk to me, tell me what’s happening.” A silence greeted him and all she offered was a look of complete concentration. “Rachel” he prompted.

“I forgot okay” she cried, her bottom lip trembling.

“Forgot what?” Tony questioned, his mind trying to figure out her cryptic words.

“I forgot what it was like to have a family” she explained, taking a deep breath. “I’ve practically been on my own since I was 21; my Mum couldn’t remember me past going to University and now she’s gone; my Dad’s only God knows where and couldn’t care less about the fact that I’m not in his life and my brother…he only cares about himself. You have no idea how lucky you are Tony. You have sons who love you and want the best for you and I forgot what it felt like to have people care so much.” Her voice became shaky as emotion overcame her. “No-one’s ever been around to make me breakfast and give me bracelets and get excited about me coming to visit them. I’ m screwing it all up for you Tony; you have your family here and you have Jazz and I’m messing it all up.”

“No you’re not” he interrupted; resisting the temptation to bite back about how Jazz wasn’t his. “I agreed to this remember.”

“Do you realise how much your family adore you Tony” Rachel cried, turning her head to look him directly in the eye.

“Yes of course I do” he shouted back, still angry about the mention of Jazz.

“Really? Because I don’t think you do. If you did then you wouldn’t be willing to put them through this...”

“They’re not going to find out” he insisted, rage pulsing through his veins.

“But what if they do” she rambled, ignoring his repetitive yells against her whilst she was talking. “What if they find out and it’s all ruined and I break up your family, Oh G…” she brought her hands up to her head and stepped back as the fear became too much for her. The fear that she would ruin the beautiful family that had been so warm and welcoming to her.

“Rachel no” Tony screamed , leaping forward to grab the wheel as the boat veered off course and turned swiftly.

“…what if your Grandmother finds out? Geeze Tony she’s going to have a heart attack” Rachel shrieked, totally oblivious to the danger they’d just averted.

“No she won’t she’ll be fine, will you just calm down” he yelled. He turned his head back to look at her in an attempt to stop her freak out but as he quickly glanced back at the sea in front of him he saw a concrete pillar only feet away.

Quickly grabbing the wheel he turned the boat sharply, breathing a sigh of relief as it avoided the pillar, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Geeze” he screamed, “you have gone nuts woman. Do you really think that stealing this boat and directing us towards concrete objects is the best way to deal with your highly emotional freak out” he screamed, his hands clutched tightly to the wheel. “Oh great, now is the moment you choose to shut up” he bitterly snapped, noticing she wasn’t replying. Almost immediately he heard his name echo in the distance and as he snapped his head towards it he saw Rachel submerged in the water, her arms flapping about frantically.

“Hang on Rach” he shouted, his hands shaking as he tried desperately to turn the boat towards her. Images of when they’d first arrived here and how she told him she couldn’t swim tore their way into his mind. I can’t lose her now he subconsciously thought. He pulled the boat up beside her and his heart shattered as he saw her clinging for life to the concrete pillar which has nearly killed them only seconds ago; she looked so lost and vulnerable; such a contrast to her usual demeanour.

“Tony please help me” she whispered, her voice shivering in the freezing temperatures she’d been thrust into. She shakily reached out her hand as he leant towards her and ignored the double beat her heart took as she placed it into his.

“I’ve got you” he soothed as he pulled her into the boat and looked around for his jacket.

“You turned the boat too quick jack ass” Rachel meekly laughed but her body and lips were shaking too much for it to make any sense.

“Come here” he instructed as he wrapped his jacket tightly around her and then his arms; rubbing her shoulders in an attempt to bring her body back to normal temperature. Rachel embraced the feeling of being wrapped in his arms and closed her eyes as she snuggled into his chest, feeling the warmth radiating from him. She hated herself for how awful she’d been to him all these years; marking him down at work, being critical of his patient skills. But the truth is she was only ever like that because she knew he’d make a better doctor than she ever would. And if she allowed him to realise that then he would move on and succeed and leave her behind. I love you she silently whispered to herself; but you deserve far better than me.

Entry 2

Movie: High School Musical

There’s Not a Star in Heaven (That We Can’t Reach)

If Aden had to summarise his life in one word it would be this.

Football.

The single sport has overtaken his life to such an extent that it is pretty much the only thing he thinks about. After school every day he’s down on the field, the centre of the rest of the team, running plays and tackles, his dad, coaching him from the sidelines. He can hear his father’s shouts in the back of his mind even when he’s not at practice. Sitting in the middle of calculus, he finds himself drawing stick figures in his margins, trying to figure out if he can get Lucas Holden to master the fake left before the championship game. Aden doubts it.

It’s only when his mother demands they go on a vacation, as a family, over the Christmas break that Aden realises how much it has dominated over everything else. Their father happily agrees, but he can see him slip a football and pair of boots under the passenger’s seat when his mother isn’t looking. When Aden spots him, he just presses his finger to his lips and winks. Aden thinks his father might be more attached to the game than he is.

What Aden doesn’t expect is how much he would actually miss it. They’re at some ski lodge in Thredbo and he’s been there for a week and he’s already craving to find some sort of surface that isn’t covered in snow. He wants to be able to run laps around the ground, breathing out fog in the early morning, goosebumps rising on his arms as he runs faster to keep off the chill. But he can’t.

Aden and his father end up retreating to the lodge’s gym, in between trips down the slopes, so he can work on his upper body strength, which according to his dad, he is lacking.

His mother finally puts her foot down on New Years Eve. She finds them in the gym, his dad watching him intently, counting each time Aden raises the dumbbell above his head. When Aden finally pleases his dad, he puts down the weight at his feet, gratefully accepting the towel that is thrown at his head.

His heart is still pounding in his chest, the beating reverberating around his head, that he doesn’t even hear his mother come in. She’s dressed up, Aden notices. Wearing some sparkling black dress Aden has never seen before, a see-through kind of shawl around her shoulders. She twirls on the spot, when she sees both her boys gawking.

“The party?” she reminds them.

“Right, the party. New Years Eve,” Aden’s dad stutters out. Aden just rolls his eyes. It’s so weird that his dad is still so openly smitten for his mother. He thought you grew out of that stuff once you became, like, an adult. Clearly, no one told his dad.

“Aden, there’s a kid’s party,” she tells him.

“Kid’s party?” Aden retorts, letting the disgust seep into his tone. He’s sixteen, he’s not going to be spending his New Years Eve sipping orange juice out of plastic cups, sitting at a table that is no more than two feet off the floor. He’d rather go another round in the gym with his father, even though he knows his face is completely flushed red and he’s still panting.

“Young adults,” his mum amends. Like it will actually make a difference. Aden still rolls his eyes. “Now go, shower up,” she tells him, and that is the end of it.

He finds himself in one of the back lounges of the lodge, a room decorated with balloons and streamers and the bar stocked with a variety of soft drinks. The party is already in full swing when Aden arrives. His mother had forced him into a suit jacket, which he reluctantly pulled on, on top of his t-shirt. It’s not like it matters all that much. He’s not trying to impress anyone.

Slipping down one of the walls, narrowly avoiding some boy in an oversized cowboy hat, Aden spies a stage at the end of the room. Music is pumping from the speakers, as two gleeful looking kids sing into the microphones to a tune he vaguely recognises. Aden claps when they finish, because he does admire their courage to do something like that, but he also shakes his head at their stupidity.

The MC, some toothy young guy who can’t be much older than Aden, is up on the stage asking for volunteers for the next song. Aden leans back on the wall, eyes gazing around the party while a spotlight whirls around above his head. Before he realises what is going someone has their hands on his back and he’s being thrust into the spotlight. He has no control over his feet as he stumbles forward and is hauled onto the stage, a microphone being shoved into his hand.

He feels like a deer in the headlights as the MC mumbles something that sounds like, “Someday, you guys might thank me for this,” before he disappears. Yeah, right.

There is an uneasy shuffling beside him. With all the commotion, and shooting daggers at the MC, Aden didn’t even notice that someone else was on the stage with him. He looks across and catches her eye. Immediately she ducks her head, crossing her arms tightly across her chest. She looks as eager to do this as Aden feels. But he can’t help but take in how pretty she is. Soft brunette curls falling past her shoulders, framing her soft skin and blue eyes he managed to get a glimpse of.

He’s almost too busy staring, probably making the poor girl more uncomfortable than she already is, that he doesn’t hear the music start. The opening bars waft through the air, and as if on instinct, Aden glances down at the screen and begins reciting the words. Or, not reciting exactly. He is ... singing?

He manages to get through half of the first verse without throwing up, but as soon as it’s over he turns, ready to sprint from the stage. But then she starts; her voice timid and small, but sweet and pure, with every note, her confidence growing. As she sings, her arms still firmly across her chest she occasionally shoots him a weary glance, and maybe a shy smile.

Aden finds himself joining her at the chorus, and much to his surprise he actually sounds decent. Not to mention how they sound together. They sound good. He manages to shoot her a smile, and she immediately blushes, shying her head once more. But by the end of the song, he’s made her laugh and unfold her hands. And he’s singing, like really singing. Not to the crowd, who are watching with anticipation, but to her, and thoroughly enjoying himself.

He doesn’t even know how it happens, but as he holds the final note, he’s standing in front of her. They’re face to face, her blue eyes shimmering under the bright lights and he smiles, and so does she. The audience erupts into applause, but Aden doesn’t notice. He just can’t stop staring, getting lost in her eyes, adrenaline still pumping. Aden finds himself awkwardly sticking out her hand, just stating his name.

Her hand is small and warm inside his as they shake, making this stupid grin on his face even more prominent.

“Annie,” is all she says.

They are out on the deck now, new snowflakes beginning to fall. Annie has one single white speck caught on her eyelash, and Aden has to use all his willpower not to reach out and brush it away. Fortunately, they both have steaming mugs of hot chocolate in their hands, so he’s not really in a position to do it anyway.

“You were amazing,” Aden says, “You’re a singer, right?”

She smiles up at him shyly, blushing at his compliment, although it is hard to tell. The wind is cold and whips around them, making both their noses and cheeks turn pink from the chill.

“Just church choir is all. I tried a solo once and nearly fainted,” she confesses.

“Really? Why?”

“I took one look at all those people staring at me, and the next thing I knew I was staring at the ceiling. End of solo career,” she finishes with a giggle.

“Well, with the way you sang tonight, that’s pretty hard to believe,” Aden replies.

“Yeah, well, that was the first time I’ve done something like that. It’s was so cool.” Aden thinks she might be glowing.

Aden nods in agreement.

“What about you? You’re a singer, too?” she asks.

Aden looks away, suddenly kind of bashful. “Yeah, sure,” he mutters, “My showerhead is very impressed with me.” Luckily, she laughs and it’s a little bit less awkward.

From somewhere off in the distance someone begins the countdown to midnight. Aden had got so caught up in the singing, and with Annie, that he had completely forgotten why he was there in the first place. He shifts uneasily from one foot to the other as the clock strikes midnight and there is an explosion of colour above both their heads. Aden instinctively looks over at Annie, because that seems to be all he can do, and he thinks about kissing her. That is what you’re supposed to do at midnight, right? But he’s only just met her, and it would probably really awkward and weird to just lean over and plant one on her, no matter how cute she is.

Annie bites unsurely at the bottom of her lip, like maybe she’s recognising the weirdness of this too, before she stammers something about having to go and find her mum and wish her a Happy New Year.

“Yeah, me too,” Aden agrees without even thinking. It then dawns on him what he has just implied, and quickly stutters something out to cover his mistake. “I mean, my mum. Not your mum. And dad,” he says, even though he really doesn’t want to leave just yet. He fishes out his mobile phone from his pocket, while she does the same. They exchange numbers, with the promise that he will call her tomorrow.

The screen glows back up at him as he stares at her number, thinking about all the things he suddenly wants to do with her while he’s here on holiday. He’s so busy absorbed in his own thoughts, murmuring something aloud about how singing with her was the most fun he’s had on this entire vacation. He gets around to finally ask where she’s from, but Annie is no longer there.

Another couple have wandered out onto the deck and are too wrapped up in each other to notice Aden. But Annie is gone, and Aden feels his face fall, because he didn’t really get to say goodbye. But he has her number and it’s a start.

For some reason, Aden feels like his holiday is about to get a lot better.

--

Sooner than he likes, he’s back home. The squawking of sea gulls and rolling of the ocean greets him, rather than the rustling of pine trees and soft coverings of newly fallen snow.

As soon as he walks in, he’s met with many high fives and slaps on the back. Every one of the students bright and excited for the year ahead, although Aden can’t think why. But then he remembers, it’s not an excitement for learning they are looking forward too, but something else. The big match is no less than two weeks away, but the chatter and predictions started way before. The game is up against their rival club, Yabbie Creek, who although aren’t the brightest crayons in the box, have taken them out of the playoffs every year for the past two seasons.

But this year is different. It has to be. Aden is captaining the side, his dad is training them (him) harder than ever, and it’s just their year. Everyone seems certain.

As soon as Aden makes it around the corner he is engulfed in a friendly headlock, but he doesn’t have to see passed the dark mop of curly hair to know who it is.

“Hey dude, how’s it going?”

“Hi Drew,” Aden replies, letting his shoulders go limp and fall out of Drew’s grasp.

Drew just casually tosses his arm around Aden’s shoulder and shoves some poor junior out of the way as he escorts Aden to homeroom.

There’s more cheering and greetings as Aden walks through the door, while their homeroom teacher Miss Vale shoots him a weary look. One by one his team mates surround him, clamping him on the back, asking about his holidays, Jules is already explaining why he’s going to be late to practice (First day of school and already on detention), and Aden is feeling slightly overwhelmed. Not since he was on stage on New Years Eve, with all those pairs of eyes staring at him and his heart in his throat, has Aden felt like this. But then he remembers the relief, the way his body relaxed as he let the song take over, focussing on the lyrics and melody and keeping his eyes on Annie next to him.

There is this twisting in his chest as he remembers her. The way she smiled up at him, face only made brighter by the spotlight, and this feeling of ... well, it doesn’t really matter now. Because she didn’t call him, and he’d wanted to look for her at the lodge on New Years Day but his dad was already sitting in the car with the engine running, so he didn’t really have time.

Finally, Aden makes it to his seat. But then there’s this flurry of blonde hair in front of him and he has to really restrain himself from groaning out loud. Matilda Hunter just giggles and flips her blonde hair over her shoulder. Even in the school’s mandatory uniform she’s managed to accessorise with earrings that should be chandeliers, and some sort of sparkly lip gloss. She smiles at him brightly.

“Hi Aden,” she says. If she wasn’t trying so hard to flirt with him, as she has every day since their first day at Summer Bay High, Aden might be flattered by the attention.

Miss Vale stands and clears her throat, waiting for the homeroom to fall silent.

“Good morning everyone. I trust we all had splendid holidays.” Miss Vale was the head of the drama department, an actor in her former years, and had a habit of making everything a performance. Once she gave the morning notices in the form of interpretive dance. It’s something Aden hopes to never see again. “Check the pin up boards for new activities, Mr Jefferies.” Aden looks up at the sound of his name. He shoots Miss Vale a quick smile, acknowledging that he is, sort of, paying attention. “Especially our school musicale...”

Drew kicks his chair. “You okay?” Aden nods.

“... and auditions for our two leads.” Aden hears Drew make some sort of Pfft noise behind him, and has to suppress a chuckle. Drew was his best friend since pre-school, and Aden knew the only thing he cared about was sports, sports and more sports. They had signed up for their first little league together the summer they both turned six, and from then on they had been on every sports team together. Including the football team, the one that had its championship game in two weeks. So now was not the time to be getting distracted.

Miss Vale however was not amused. She looked down the bridge of her nose, shooting Drew a look. When she got angry, Miss Vale had this one vain that kind of popped out the side of her neck, and her eyes went all squinty and her voice cracked. It was sort of terrifying. So Drew knew she meant business. He immediately clamps his mouth closed and sits up straight.

Aden can smell Matilda’s perfume from her seat across the aisle. It’s sort of fruity but pungent at the same time and Aden wonders if she actually bathes in it. She notices him staring and gives him a wink. Oh boy. He wishes Annie would have winked at him, that way he would be sure that whatever he felt on vacation wasn’t some figment of his imagination. Not that he actually thinks Annie would wink, because she didn’t strike him as that sort of person, but really, Aden doesn’t know all that much about her.

There it is again. This tugging in his chest, something that makes him squirm in his seat and he finds himself fishing out his mobile phone. He hides it beneath his desk, knowing that Drew can probably see but would never rat him out, while Miss Vale is still nattering away about extra-curricular activities and pointing out Belle Taylor who is in charge of some scholastic decathlon. Whatever that is.

The first name in his contacts says Annie and before he realises what he’s doing, Aden hits call. Almost instantly there is a shrill noise coming from somewhere at the back of the room. Aden shoots a look over his shoulder in time to see someone with long brown hair duck underneath her desk, rummaging through her school bag.

Miss Vale stalks down the aisle, carrying the infamous Confiscated Mobile Phones Bucket, at the sound of the ringtone. The poor girl at the back has managed to switch off her phone, but as soon as she does she’s forced to hand it over. Even from the front Aden can see the shade of pink begin to rise in her cheeks.

“We have zero tolerance for mobile phones at this school,” Miss Vale says, “So we will be getting to know each other in detention. And welcome to Summer Bay High, Miss Campbell.”

As Miss Vale walks past she sinks down into her seat, and Aden realises that he’s seen her before. Not like, in his homeroom, because she’s obviously new, but like, he’s seen her before. And then it hits him. Annie. Before he can catch her attention, wave or call out or something, Miss Vale is standing over him dangling the Bucket in front of his face.

“Mr Jefferies, I see your phone is involved. So we will see you in detention as well.” He hadn’t even realised he was still holding his phone, so with a sigh he drops it in.

As soon as the bell rings Aden is out the door. Leaning back against the white-washed wall he waits, accepting high-fives and handshakes as the rest of his classmates head off to first period. He’s busy fist bumping Drew as he walks away, giving him an apologetic look about the loss of his phone and detention on the first day back, that he almost misses her. But there she is.

She slips out the door and begins walking in the opposite direction, blue school bag hanging off one of her shoulders.

“Hey,” Aden says when he’s beside her. Her look is one of surprise when she seems him. She blinks a couple of times, like she almost can’t believe it either.

“I don’t --” she begins.

“Believe it,” Aden finishes.

“Well, me --”

“Either. But how?”

“My parents have just bought a farm outside Summer Bay,” she explains while they walk. Then she shakes her head, “I don’t believe it. I looked for you at the lodge on New Years Day.”

“Yeah, I know. But I had to leave first thing,” Aden replies in a whisper as a couple of members of the football team stroll past them, raising their hands in acknowledgment. Aden gives them a nod in reply.

“Why are you whispering?” Annie asks, voice soft as well but a smile is tugging at her lips.

“What?” Aden hadn’t even realised he was doing it. “Oh, uh ... well, my friends know about the snowboarding. I, uh, haven’t told them about the,” Aden drops his voice to a whisper again, just for emphasis, “singing,” then right back up to normal, “thing yet.”

Annie is looking up at him sceptically. “Too much for them to handle?”

“Nah, it was cool. It’s just, not what I do.” Annie looks like she might want to ask him something else, her lips quirking up, but she seems to decide against it. And then she’s staring at him, and they’ve stopped walking, and Aden suddenly feels like his tie is on too tight and someone has turned on the heaters instead of the air conditioning.

It’s then that he’s noticed the sparkling pink poster right in the middle of the pin-up board. Really, it would be hard for anyone to miss.

“Anyway,” he says, clearing his throat, “Now that you’ve met Miss Vale, I bet you can’t wait to sign up for that.” Annie looks over her shoulder to where he is pointing and lets out a soft laugh as she reads the Summer Bay High School Musical Sign Up Sheet.

“I don’t think I’ll be signing up for anything for a while. But if you sign up, I’ll consider coming to the show.” She’s smiling up at him again, and his stomach seems to do this flip-flop thing, and it’s all he can do but choke out some sort of response.

“Yeah, yeah. That’s completely impossible.”

“What’s impossible, Aden?” Aden almost involuntarily shudders, but makes himself grin as Matilda waltzes past him, completely ignoring Annie’s presence, and goes straight to the notice board.

Pulling out a bright pink felt-tip pen she flourishes her hand over the page, leaving behind her full name in curly letters.

“Oh,” she says, feigning surprise. It’s like she’s noticed Annie for the very first time. “Were going to sign up too? My brother and I have starred in all the school’s productions. But we always welcome new-comers. There are a lot of supporting roles in the show.” She places the emphasis on supporting, and Aden rolls his eyes.

Aden’s not entirely sure why he puts up with her. She’s clearly a drama queen, and doesn’t think about anyone but herself, but she always brings him cupcakes on his birthday and is attractive to look at, so.

“No, no, no,” Annie stutters, and Aden doesn’t really blame her for being intimidated. Matilda is a lot to take in all at once; fortunately Aden has had a lot of practice. “I was just looking around.” But then she begins to walk away. “Nice penmanship,” Annie comments, sneaking Aden one final glance, and Matilda is left just glaring at her. Wow, is all Aden can think.

Thinking that he was finished, Aden begins to leave as well. But then Matilda has sidled right up next to him and asks, “So Aden, I didn’t see you over the summer. What’d you do?”

“You know, um,” Why is this question suddenly so hard? “Play football, snowboarding, play football.” He knows he has left out one giant part of his holiday, but for some reason he doesn’t want to go spreading around that he sang karaoke and now he thinks he might like Annie. Just a little bit. Because it’s stupid, and he knows his friends. They’ll call him a girl and all he wants to focus on right now is the Big Game.

“When’s the big game?” Matilda asks. It’s like she can read his mind.

“Two weeks.”

“You are so dedicated,” Matilda coos. “Just like me!” That thought seems to please her. “I hope you come watch me in the musical. Promise?”

She’s looking at him all sweetly, but Aden is fairly certain that saying no to Matilda Hunter is like withholding meat from a mountain lion. You just don’t do it, unless you want your hand bitten off. So Aden nods, and then gets away as quickly as possible.

[HighwayUnicorn]

Loved them both. They both went into such detail & the characterisation & emotions & wording of everything was perfect.

Both of them gripped my attention & I enjoyed reading them.

But I must admit, I'm a sucker for both Aden & I love High School Musical.

So that was amazing to write about & it was a perfect combination.

It was written beautifully. Loved that Annie was there too.

& I couldn't get over Matilda! Perfect!

It was just like H&A doing HSM! I thought it was brilliant.

Overall, I loved both entries but I am voting for Entry 2.