freckleface Posted June 25, 2010 Report Posted June 25, 2010 Oooh, doesn't look good for Angelo if Charlie's suspiscious :/ Was it really Tony? Or not? O___o More soon please (: Quote
KirstyEkua Posted June 27, 2010 Report Posted June 27, 2010 Eeeek Laura this is getting so exciting!!! I loved the stuff with Charlie and Angelo; i am trying to figure out what Angelo is up too becasue he is acting really suss and i suspect when Charlie finds out it's not going to be pretty! I loved the little one liners from Belle and Aden. They were funny and i thought you captured their charatcers really well. Angelo is not the best liar though; it's almost like he wants to get caught! I'm really intrigued as to what he is up too and i wonder what the consquences will be for his engagement to Charlie. He's already going against her wishes by telling people about them and that's not exactly a good start. And Oh.My.God. The stuff with Rachel and the mystery patient I badly want to believe it's Tony but given the circumstances Rachel can be forgiven for mistaking someone else for him. You wrote her emotions so well, from her initial shock and confusion and then her complete emotional breakdown (i guess you could call it that?). I don't like this Mr Wallis although i understand why he had to call security. She is acting irrationally but if it is Tony then of course she'd be beside herself and i love how she just didn't care that Mr Wallis standing with her and just threw herself at 'Tony.' I love the little bits of detail she remembered, like his scar I so hope it is him otherwise i really fear for Rachel's mental health. This is barbaric” he muttered under his breath, wiping the sweat from his brow as he heard his co-worker’s chilling cries echoing down the corridor. “John will you bleep psychiatry, tell them we’ve got a patient that needs reviewing urgently.” It's really serious for poor Rachel. It's heart breaking for her. Even if it is Tony how is she going to convince people? No one is going to believe her and i don't blame them either. I can't wait for more!! Quote
freckleface Posted June 27, 2010 Report Posted June 27, 2010 Whoooah O____o That chapter was really good! So is it Tony? or is it not? Update soon please Quote
kitkat1992 Posted June 27, 2010 Report Posted June 27, 2010 That chapter was really good... i really wanna know if it was Tony Can't wait for the next update Quote
Red Ranger 1 Posted June 27, 2010 Report Posted June 27, 2010 Uh-oh.Really intense, aside from the nice light-hearted moment of Jack almost tearing his hair out at Martha's shopping.In two minds at Jack and Mr.Wallis' reactions, I can see why they'd think Rachel was crazy, the way she was acting, but it was slightly frustrating that they didn't even seem to consider that she might be right.Of course, we still don't know whether she is right or not...Answers next chapter?Looking forward to it. Quote
HighwayUnicorn Posted June 28, 2010 Report Posted June 28, 2010 (edited) Deleted. Edited September 14, 2012 by HighwayUnicorn Quote
Danni02 Posted June 29, 2010 Report Posted June 29, 2010 lol loved Jack on the shopping trip. Oh poor Rachel. Not sure I like that Jack and Mr Wallis just dismissed her thinking it was Tony without even considering maybe she is right. Looking forward to finding out if it is Tony or not! Update soon Quote
KirstyEkua Posted June 29, 2010 Report Posted June 29, 2010 Again that was just amazing You're really doing a great job with this and i love how you've managed to involve so many different people. The start was so intense. I really felt for Rachel and you wrote her sense of desperation so well. It's good how Rachel was questioning herself; as i think anyone would in her situation. It would be very forgiveable if she had made a mistake. I did love that it was only a tiny scar that made her so sure it was Tony. It's such an insignificant thing but for to remember that about him proves so much i think. Loved the little line about how she remembered Tony told her he had his won doctor at home. I guess from Mr Wallis's point of view she is having a kind of emotional breakdown and i understand why he wants to have her sectioned. Any outsider would believe she had truely gone mad with grief. I didn't really like how he was patronising towards her though; i think he needs to be a little more sympathetic if he believes she really needs help. I am glad he let her call Jack though Annoyed though that he didn't think for one second she could be right and just assumed she was going crazy. Not liking him so much so far! The shoe shopping with Jack and Martha was hilarious and you wrote them both perfectly! I could totally picture it and it was nice to have some light relief after such an intense beginning! I thought it was really good how much Jack defended Rachel at first but then he also doubted her and got angry. I think that's really realistic and you managed to show his range of emotions really well. It was sad when he begged her not to believe it as he didn't want to go through the pain again. More than anything he seemed a little scared about everything. I am glad that he got angry enough to go and see and judging by his reaction it seems that Rachel is not crazy! Can't wait for more! Quote
HighwayUnicorn Posted June 30, 2010 Report Posted June 30, 2010 (edited) Deleted. Edited September 14, 2012 by HighwayUnicorn Quote
kitkat1992 Posted June 30, 2010 Report Posted June 30, 2010 I'm so glad it wasn't just Rachel's imagination... i hope Tony is ok Can't wait for the next update Quote
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