I'll Be With You Until The End (by callyha) - comments

[HighwayUnicorn]

Deleted.

Edited September 17, 2012 by HighwayUnicorn

[Chester-Sam]

Aww I loved this chapter, the determination Charlie had at the end was beautiful.

I'm glad they hugged, it shows that they can move forward.

Very well written, I liked the little "She felt her nose tingle and her eyes fill up with tears" you could almost feel the same thing

I love the way you're going with this and look forward to another chapter

- Sam!

[Inactive User]

Wow this is such a beautiful and emoticonal chapter you had written Hopefully Charlie and Ruby will be able to work things out soon.

Update soon

[Danni02]

Haha yes, I can see him saying Sir too. Good stuff!

Oh my goodness! I love love loved that update! It was just amazing!

I can totally understand how Charlie would have mixed views on this. You wrote her thoughts really well and I like that she had been dreaming about things she could do with Ruby as her daughter. Makes you see it was something she must have hoped would come out one day. I really loved Ruby's thoughts also. I'm sure seeing this made Ruby feel a little better in thinking that Charlie did want to be a mother to Ruby.

I really loved their conversation. It was lovely. So emotional, but perfect. So sweet that Charlie kept the birth cirtificate beside her. And Ruby seemed to accept that Charlie ran away and she found it hard to hear Ruby call Elsie mum. I think these journal's have been great in helping Ruby to understand everything.

I liked that Ruby told Charlie that even though she was the product of rape she can see how much Charlie loves her when she looks her at.

And then the last bit. Wow, so lovely. When even though Charlie is in so much pain she still tried to get up to comfort her daughter. Ruby getting up and walking over to Charlie was great. I loved how you ended that with a nice big hug!

Amazing stuff! Cant wait for more!

[lino]

Beautiful written and with so much emotion. I really like the slow start for ruby and Charlie.

Thank you for updating again.

[carywary]

Aw that was a beautiful chapter and the ending was just perfect, she used all of her strength to stand up to comfort Ruby. I think the diaries were a really good way for Ruby to see how much Charlie struggled with having to let her go, and not hearing Ruby calling her mum, cos she mightn't have believed it if Charlie had just told her. It must have been really hard for Charlie to say and for Ruby to hear that if Ruby hadn't been sick Charlie would have tried to be a mother to her Poor Charlie, her reaction to the word rape, it must have brought it all back to her, this is the conversation she always dreaded and looked forward to but the waiting time couldn't have prepared her for it. Well done, the emotions were perfect

[Scotcaz22]

That was great! Amazing! It was very emotional between ruby and Charlie!

Totally loved it!

Can't wait for the next chapter!

[HighwayUnicorn]

Deleted.

Edited September 17, 2012 by HighwayUnicorn

[callyha]

Thank you for all your lovely comments. Everytime I read them it makes me want to write better (I hope I do)!

Yes, you're writing is definitely improving. It was good to begin with but I must say, mine wasn't perfect when I first started writing but it gets easier to correct the speech of characters & of course the use of description improves, along with vocabulary. Normally, I would also say spelling but mine are written on a word document & then copied & pasted so most of my spellings are okay unless I have forgotten to spell check :/

& you are very welcome for the comments. I am enjoying this fic, it's amazing & so therefore, you deserve a lovely comment from me.

Now, as per usual Cally, perfect emotions. I was reading older chapters you have written earlier & I noticed how much of an improvement there is when you are portraying the character & their feelings. I am also loving the fact that you are incorporating ideas from the show. It works well & realistically. As a reader, I can see it unfolding.

Everything about that chapter was perfect & then I read the following part.

Embrace. A sign of affection, comfort, protection. Anyone has the ability to give another person an embrace. A friend, a family member, a colleague.

But usually only one person can give you the embrace that you want that will assure you that everything is alright and will remain the way it is. Ruby Buckton had always gone to her mother for an embrace whenever she was upset, lonely, afraid, happy. But when she died, that mothering embrace had gone. So she had turned to her sister for the embrace she needed. Charlie Buckton was always there for an embrace whenever Elsie wasn't.

And now, no longer as 'sister' Charlie was embracing Ruby. As her 'mother'

I didn't actually think your fic, or that chapter in particular, could have gotten any better until I read that part. Do you know how amazing that bit is? Did you define that yourself? Because when I read it, I couldn't help but relate to it dramatically. I really was an eye opener & made so much sense to me, seeing as I more often than not, a confused person. Lol.

Just wow, Cally. A perfectly & beautifully written chapter once again & of course, as per usual. I loved it. I loved every second, every word, every emotion, every character portrayal. Words cannot describe that chapter or the part I selected in particular. Well done.

Love Carina xxx

Thanks Carina,

The EMBRACE part was part me, part help. I just thought it would help describe what I saw in my head. I am so glad you liked that. (You have no Idea what my face was like when I read it)

[Chester-Sam]

The description of an embrace was perfect, and you get better as the chapters go by!

It gives me chills every time somebody says 'I'll be with you until the end' and it's used in the perfect places at the perfect time

It was sad to see Charlie's uncertainty when it came to Ruby helping her back into bed, but I'm glad that was resolved

I enjoyed this chapter immensly and as always, look forward to next time

- Sam!