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Posted

Okay I Love Music, I think I am officially stalking you...so... I hope that's not too annoying... :P

Skykat this is a great fic and I love how you've brought all these different characters together!

Hayley is great! Even when she's down she manages to keep that bitchy composure about her. Or maybe that's just confidence? But I love it anyway!

I actually like Kim in this fic out of the guys, I feel sorry for him! I think you summed it up when you said how he had the looks of a greek god, but the lack of confidence thing... So true! The poor guy! But that brooding bad boy Kane! You have written him perfectly and I can't wait to see who he ends up with. It's not Martha is it? Because I seriously believe that she belongs with Jack!

I love how layered the characters are. Like Cassie being insecure about her and Martha... even though they're friends, and Gypsy being the "town bike" but actually being vunerable on the inside. Kit is another great character! And poor Will!

The dialogue is fantastic! Great writing as well! It's very descriptive and I can really picture everything going on. Can't wait to see more! :)

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Posted (edited)

That was an amazing chapter. I love this fic so much!! The way you describe the teens emotions is just so amazing. I really feel that I'm inside these kids minds when you're describing them. I really know what they are going through and I feel sorry them. You make me hate some characters and then I suddenly feel an enourmous amount of pity towards them. Your writing is just brilliant. The characters are all coming alive in your fic. I don't know what else to say apart from this is truly one of the best descriptive, detailed and probably one of the best and one of my favourite fics on here. Keep up the tremendous hard work Skykat that you do!!

Edited by jackandmarthaforever!!
Posted

Once again, I love music you are phenomenal. How you get into the minds of kids so well I will never understand but it works, it really does and I can't wait to go ahead with stuff we kept back and also what we have planned.

Aw, thanks, Kat! It's because half the time I act like a five-year-old myself...! (My jokes are on the same level anyway, everyone reckons) :P

Really loved the way you got into the heads of the characters (and, as you know, my favourite description was "the anorexic-looking lollipop lady" :lol: )but especially Gypsy and Jack - ingenious! :D And the conversations are so, so real. This is turning into the party of the year at Summer Bay High, glad I got an invite! :D

Looking forward to the next chapter, especially the Cassie stuff. In the meantime, back to work on Sally Called for a while...

Posted

Kat and I love music that was amazing! Throughout the whole chapter I was hooked, and just kept reading wanting to see where it was going.

When you describe the teen's emotions, I feel like I am one of them, I feel like I in some way know what they are going through and can relate to them. It makes the story so much more real. You can make someone's feelings for a character change completely throughout the chapter from the way you describe it.

The shouting had slowly grown, from a dull murmur of raised voices to a full on screaming match. Abuse, yelled at the highest decibels, seemed to bounce from one parent to another. Like a ping pong ball.

Six-year-old Jack had buried his head deeply under the covers so did not notice his little brother Lucas enter the room. He had no idea he was even there until the covers were lifted from his head and he felt Lucas’s small body climb into bed next to him. Normally, when one of them took something belonging to the other or encroached on the other’s territory like this, a furious row ensued, often with Lucas, being youngest, throwing kicks and punches and Jack torn between defending himself and not wanting to be a bully...

That flashback was just incredible, and it showed us why Jack and Luc's relationship is so strong, and also why Jack is how he is. Deep down he feels hurt, and you can't help but feel sorry for him, and see where he is coming from.

“No smelly farting though or you’re out,” Jack warned in a stage whisper. “Now get to sleep.”

Yet with the seriousness there is still humour! That line made me laugh alot!

I think that the way you are describing the characters really makes the come to life, it makes you feel like you are there, and I think it's brilliant how you do this.

I can't wait to read more, you really have me hooked, and I always check to see if there is an update. Keep up the fantastic work. It's just fabulous! :D

Posted

Wow! That was pretty darn amazing! Excellent writing

I like how you described Jack and then included the childhood flashbacks.

Awww and Jack and Lucas, that flashback was so adorable and like Emma said you can really understand why there relationship is so strong, Jack really does look after Luke in times of 'strife'.

And it also describes the life of a normal teen boy, im sure alot of them go through things like this (for whatever reason) and when it comes to that time when a girl admits there true feelings they shut down and brush it off.

Youve got a great fic here and your writing (describing etc) is excellent :)

looking forward to the next one :)

Posted

''Anorexic lollipop lady''~That made me laugh,she could do with a lollipop i think!

''She was cold and unforgiving''...''She deserved no better''...''And she was still broken''~I loved these lines,they showed how little Gypsy thinks of herself which is sad and made me feel sorry for her.

I loved the scenes between Lucas and Jack in the bed,i could picture it,great description.

''What's the point?Women only ever screw you up''~That was sad,Jack has little trust in the opposite sex and it gave us real insight into why he's such a womaniser.

Great chapter,hope for a update soon.

Posted

AWW that was sooooooooooooooooo good i love this :wub: you need to update again NOW LOL :)... poor jack about his mum though but he is still an arse... i cant believe he slept with someone else just after martha told him she loved him and that he just got up and left the room JACKARSE LOL :P well EXCELLENT CHAPTER I LOVED IT LOL :P:wub: UPDATE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxox

Posted (edited)

Well Kat, I can say that you achieved what you wanted in this chapter (for me anyway). The thing I love most about this fic is that you develop the characters with such depth. What you did with Jack's character was amazing. The heartbreak over his mother, and his discovery of being 'desirable', it was developed brilliantly. I can see exactly why he would sleep with somebody else as soon as Martha mentioned the 'L' word. It was his instinct, he was trying to protect himself. And despite all the bad rap he gets, it was great to see it come through, especially when he was talking to Kim.

I am in love with all the characters (except perhaps Hayley :P) and this story. You have just turned something that was so stereotypically soapie (don't get me wrong, I loved it when it was that way!) into a story with so many layers. It was good to see Gypsy break down as well, to realise that what she was doing was destroying herself more than it was others. My heart broke for her when she relieved those memories, maybe because I'm a huge Gypsy and Will fan.

I really can't wait to see where you take this. Well done :)

Edited by kase
Posted

Oh Kat that was truely amazing, I loved everything about it....

I loved the flashback with Gypsy and Will when there trying to drownout Hayley's music. :wub: Loved the way you did the breakup, I actually had tears in my eyes, it was so emotional, or maybe I'm just too obsessed with them. :lol:

Moving on too Jack, I actaully have to say it made me feel sorry for him. Loved his flashback with him and Lucas was so sweet and funny. And you got the emotion perfect with him and his mother leaving.

Just amazing Kat :wub:

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