I'll Always Be Here

[Danni02]

Sorry I have taken so long between these updates! Hopefully now I will be able to get them up quicker for you guys! Thanks so much for the comments, they are awesome! Hope you like this next one.

Chapter 73

Charlie walked into the kitchen to find Angelo was already up and had just put the kettle on to make his cup of morning coffee. “Hey, Morning” Angelo smiled as he looked up at Charlie. “Can I make you a cup of tea?” Charlie nodded lightly as she smiled back at him.

“Yeah thanks” Charlie said before leaning herself against the worktop next to were Angelo was.

“So, you enjoy your High School Musical marathon last night?” Angelo laughed as he walked over to the fridge and took out the milk. Charlie laughed lightly as she shook her head.

“She fell asleep as the 2nd one was ending, thank God. Two is enough to watch” Charlie said as she picked up the jar of sugar from the kitchen shelf, before putting a spoonful into her cup of tea. “Well actually one is enough” Charlie mumbled and Angelo laughed before silence hit the room. Charlie picked up her cup of tea and took a drink, before staring silently at Angelo as she bit her lip. “Angelo....” Charlie began, but Angelo had begun talking at the same time.

“Charlie, I think we need to talk” Angelo said tentatively. Charlie nodded as she placed her cup of tea back down on the worktop. She took a deep breath before she looked up at her husband, and opened her mouth as if to talk, but no words came out. “So, do you want to tell me what is wrong?” Angelo asked, breaking the silence. Charlie exhaled lightly before she walked across the kitchen and took a seat at the table before looking back at Angelo. “Charlie, you are scaring me. It’s like you are scared to have this conversation. Please, talk to me” Angelo said as he walked across the kitchen and took a seat at the table next to Charlie. Charlie looked down as she exhaled lightly.

“I’ve been thinking” Charlie started to talk as she looked back up at Angelo “That maybe this was a mistake” Charlie spoke tentatively as she watched Angelo.

“What was a mistake?” Angelo asked uncertainly, with confusion present in his tone and facial expression.

“Me moving back in with you” Charlie said quietly as she looked away from Angelo.

“Charlie?” Angelo questioned, as he felt close to tears “How can you say that? What’s making you think this?”

“Something still doesn’t feel right” Charlie slowly looked back up at Angelo as she too felt herself close to tears. “Sometimes I just feel so angry. I don’t know if I’m angry with you or with myself or what but I just...no matter how much I try, I can’t help but feel it. I don’t want to feel like this. I want it to stop but....”

“Charlie” Angelo said cutting her off as he leaned forward and cupped his hand around her cheek and watched as a lone tear escaped her eye. “What you’re feeling its normal. It’s only been 5 months since I.....” Angelo trailed off “Since Shelly” Angelo said “This....it was never going to be easy for us.....for you especially to work through this, but I believe we can get back to what we had, it’s just going to take some time and I know if we try hard enough, we can get back to what we had”

Charlie shook her head another tear rolled down her cheek. “I’ve tried, Angelo, I’ve tried so hard to make this work and then I tried some more for the sake of the kids but its hard and I don’t want to feel like this anymore, Angelo I can’t keep pretending everything is okay when its isn’t, it’s just too hard, I can’t do this anymore” Charlie looked up at Angelo and he sadly removed his hand from her cheek. Charlie could see tears forming in his eyes and exhaled lightly as she once again shook her head. “And its not just about what you did with Shelly. This whole year it’s been....”

“I know we’ve had a pretty bad year, but the baby will be born soon and -”

“And what, you think that she’ll come along and everything will be perfect? She’s not going to fix anything Angelo. If anything it’s only going to be harder with a baby being added to this....mess”

“Mess?” Angelo questioned “I didn’t think it was this bad, we seemed to be getting on a lot better, things were improving between us........Charlie if you’ve felt like this for so long, why haven’t you said anything to me sooner?”

Charlie exhaled as she wiped a tear from her eye. She shrugged her shoulders before looking down. “I wanted to make this work because I don’t want us to be over, but at the same time, sometimes I ask myself what I am still doing here because I can’t seem to forget or move past this no matter how much I try too. Sometimes I think if it wasn’t for the kids I would have given up on trying a long time ago...” Charlie trailed off before biting her lip.

“If you are only staying with me for the sake of the kids.....” Angelo paused before taking a deep breath trying to compose himself. “As much as I don’t want to...maybe it’s best that we end this now”

“No” Charlie cried “I don’t want that. Angelo I do want to stay with you but......it’s just a lot harder to get past this than I thought, and maybe I just need some more space to be able to do that, maybe some time away from you, some time apart, maybe that would be a help to us right now”

“Charlie, what are you saying?” Angelo asked feeling slightly confused with Charlie’s words.

“I don’t think I want us to break up, but I think we need time apart so I can try to get over this” Charlie said

“You don’t think you want us to break up?” Angelo questioned and Charlie shook her head. Before they had a chance to talk any further the kids came running into the kitchen.

“What’s for breakfast?” Ava asked cheerily as she ran up to the table and took a seat next to Angelo, with Ben having already taken a place next to Charlie.

“What would you like?” Angelo asked as he composed himself before standing up.

“Pancakes” Ben beamed as he looked up at his Dad.

“We’ve already made you guys pancakes this week” Angelo said “You can’t have them all the time”

“But they are so yummy” Ben argued

“Make them pancakes” Charlie said as she glared up at Angelo before she stood up and walked out of the kitchen.

****

“Thanks” Ruby smiled as she took the class of juice from Nicole and took a long drink of it. Nicole smiled at her friend as she sat down next to her on the couch. They sat in silence briefly as they watched Jessica playing with her dolls in the middle of the living room. Callum then let out a small cry from the buggy, where he was sleeping. Ruby gave it a gently shake and his cries soon stopped.

“So they arrested him then” Nicole said tentatively

Ruby took another drink of her juice, if only to stall her from having to talk anymore about him. “Yes” Ruby said quietly as she turned her gaze back to her sleeping son.

“Rubes, we don’t have to talk about him anymore if you don’t want to” Nicole said as she looked at her and saw how uncomfortable Ruby was looking.

“It’s okay” Ruby said as she looked back round at Nicole “I just want it all to be over so I can put all this behind me and not have to think about him again”

“It will be soon” Nicole said as she placed a reassuring hand on Ruby’s arm.

“His court case isn’t for another 3 weeks” Ruby said “So I have at least 3 more weeks of thinking how the trail is going to go, of how long he is going to get, I’m so scared he isn’t going to get anytime at all and that’s not right, he needs to be punished and justice needs to be made for Xavier’s death” Ruby said sounding as if she was about to shed a tear.

“It will be” Nicole said positively “They can’t not give him jail time. I mean he killed someone. He’s bound to get sent down”

“But for how long?” Ruby asked “I mean what if he only gets a few years? Then he’d probably get out in half of that, it just wouldn’t be long enough” Ruby bowed her head down sadly.

“Rubes, I think no matter what he gets you’re not going to think its long enough” Nicole said and Ruby nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, I guess you are right” Ruby sighed

“So are you going to go to the trail?” Nicole asked tentatively

Ruby shrugged her shoulders “I don’t know, I don’t think so. I don’t really want to go and Mum accepts that and said I didn’t need to do anything I didn’t want to, but Angelo and Morag thing it might be good for me if I do go"

“I can see where they are coming from” Nicole said “I mean it would be hard for you to go and see him again and have to live through what happened again, but to see him being sent down, punished for what he did, justice finally being served for what happened to Xavier, it might be good for you”

“Yeah” Ruby nodded lightly “I will see how I feel nearer the time” Ruby smiled as she saw Jessica running across the room towards her and sat herself up on the couch in between Ruby and Nicole.

“It’s my baby” Jessica said as she looked up at Ruby while pointing to her doll.

“Wow, she’s nice” Ruby said “Does she have a name?”

“Ehm” Jessica said as she turned her head and looked up at her mother briefly before looking at Ruby again. “Ruby like you” Jessica said as she smiled.

“Aww cool” Ruby said as Jessica giggled and Callum stirred in the buggy. Ruby lifted him out and sat him on her knee and he woke up fully. He reached out and tried to take Jessica’s doll into his hand.

“No Cal it’s my dolly” Jessica said she pulled it close to her chest.

“Aww Jessica” Nicole said as she ran her hand through her daughter’s hair. You should share your toys”

“He’s a baby” Jessica said “This is a big girl’s toy”

“Oh so are you a big girl?” Nicole asked and Jessica nodded

“Yes, I am 3 now” Jessica said “That’s big”

“Well you will always be my baby” Nicole said and Jessica scowled.

“Mummy have another baby” Jessica said “I’m a big girl” Ruby laughed lightly as she saw the look on Nicole’s face at Jessica’s suggestion.

“Don’t like that idea Nic?” Ruby asked

“I’m happy with just Jessica at the moment. Although Geoff has been talking about having another one, so we will see what happens”

“Xav always said he wanted 6 kids. There was no way I was going to have 6 kids” Ruby said and Nicole laughed lightly.

“I think Geoff only wants two so that isn’t so bad” Nicole said before smiling down at her daughter.

“Mum didn’t want as much as four kids” Ruby said “Angelo would probably have enough for his own soccer team, but Mum is adamant this is their last”

“When is she due now?” Nicole asked

“Two months to go” Ruby said “Ava is so excited. She’s been telling me she is going to help Dad paint the nursery. Actually he should probably make a start to getting that done”

“Yeah” Nicole agreed as she lightly nodded her head.

“Mummy can we go to Aunty Irene’s now?” Jessica asked as she looked up at her mother.

“We are going to go there for lunch” Nicole said

“Is that not now?” Jessica asked

“No, you just had your breakfast” Nicole said and Jessica scowled

“I want to see Aunty Irene”

“Hey Jessica how about we go to the beach for a little bit first then it’ll be time to go see Aunty Irene” Ruby suggested

“Will you make sand castles with me?” Jessica asked

“Yeah” Ruby said enthusiastically and Jessica grinned as she jumped down from the couch.

“I’ll go find my bucket and spade” Jessica squealed as she ran across the room in the direction of the stairs.

*****

Angelo walked into the store with a very excited Ava jumping around him. “Dad can I go pick a colour now?” Ava asked

“Yeah that’s what we are here for” Angelo said

“What colour Dad?” Ava asked

“It’s up to you sweetheart, I’m going to let you chose” Angelo said and Ava smiled before she ran off down the shop. Angelo walked down following her.

“Hello mate” Angelo turned round as he heard a familiar voice behind him, before seeing the girls running off in the same direction as Ava.

“Jack, hey” Angelo said “How are you today?”

“Ohhh” Jack sighed as he shook his head. “The girls are driving me crazy. They are getting their bedroom decorated. Olivia wants it pink and Sophie wants its blue. They’ve been arguing the whole car journey here. Seriously, I hope they can come to a decision soon or I’ll just be picking up the first tin I come to and that’ll be it”

Angelo laughed lightly as they continued to walk down the store and over to their girls. “Well no guessing in what colour Ava will be picking for the baby’s room. It’ll be pink, pink and more pink” Angelo said and Jack laughed as they approached the girls.

“I picked already Dad” Ava smiled “We need this one and this one” Ava said as she pointed to two different shades of pink, one of them being a nice light baby pink shade and the other a darker shade, Ava read to him as ‘cerise pink’.

“Do we really need two colours?” Angelo asked and Ava nodded “Really? We need two different pinks?”

“Yes Daddy we need two cos I have an idea” Ava said

“Oh okay” Angelo nodded “And what’s this idea?”

“Well you see we buy these’s stencils and paint the walls baby pink and then for the stencils we use the cerise pink” Ava grinned and Angelo nodded liking his daughter’s idea.

“That’s a good idea Av’s” Angelo smiled as he placed some tins of paint into the trolley.

“I know” Ava grinned “Now I am going to pick some stencils” Angelo watched as Ava ran off down the shop. Jack looked down at his girls who to his surprise had decided on a colour.

“We are going to get purple” Sophie said “This light one here” Sophie pointed to the shade they had decided on.

“Its lilac” Olivia said and she pulled a face at her younger sister.

“It’s still like purple” Sophie said pulling the same face back.

“No no” Olivia said “It’s different, isn’t it Dad” Olivia looked up at Jack, waiting for a response.

“It doesn’t matter girls” Jack said “I’m just glad you have picked a colour”

“Dad” Ava shouted from across the shop “I can’t reach the ones I want”

“I better go” Angelo said as he looked across to Ava

“Yeah, see you later mate” Jack said “Maybe we can take the boys fishing sometime this week?”

“Yeah sounds great just give me a call when you are going” Angelo said and Jack nodded before Angelo walked over and helped Ava get the stencils down.

“Dad do we need to get paint brushes?” Ava asked

“No there’s plenty of them in the house” Angelo answered and Ava nodded

“Okay ehm, so do we need anything else?” Ava asked and Angelo shook his head.

“No, paints and these stencils are the lot for now, I think” Angelo said and Ava smiled.

“So we can go home and paint it today?” Ava asked

“Yup” Angelo said as they walked over to the till to pay for their stuff. “After we’ve got this paid for we will go home and get straight to work”

“Oh I can’t wait, it’s going to be so much fun” Ava beamed as she skipped in front of Angelo towards the till.

[Danni02]

Thank you Cally and Rach Loves H&A I'm not so sure about the Martha/Charlie part of this chapter, but hopefully you think it's okay. Hope you like this one, let me know what you think.

Chapter 74

Charlie sat on the bench at the park and smiled as she watched her son happily climbing up the steps and then sliding down the slide. She ran her hand over her stomach as she felt her baby moving inside her. She sighed lightly as she thought about her feelings over staying with Angelo and what it was she really wanted. She loved him, of course she did, and she’d been able to forgive him for his mistake but it was the forgetting and letting go of what happened that she was struggling to do. Some days she felt as though she was there but others it would be all she could think about, and she would feel so angry, probably the reason why she found herself snapping at Angelo and causing more arguments lately, but it was when she snapped at her daughter that she knew she had to talk to Angelo about what was bothering her. Problem was, now that she had, she was still no further forward in her decision of what she wanted to do. She was startled when she felt a hand touching her shoulder and quickly looked up to find Martha standing before her. “You alright Charlie? I tried to talk to you a few times there but you seemed to be in a world of your own” Martha said before taking a seat next to her friend as she watched her son running across the grass and over to the slide where Ben was still playing.

“Yeah” Charlie sighed lightly “I’m alright”

“Mmm hmm” Martha said “If I ask again will you tell me the truth?”

Charlie looked up at Martha and exhaled as she bit her lip. “I’m just struggling to get past Angelo’s infidelity” Charlie spoke slowly as she looked up at her friend. “I thought I was dealing with it okay, but then moving back in with him, maybe I did that too quickly because since then I’ve had such conflicting feelings about what I’m doing”

Martha’s eyes widened as she listened to Charlie’s words. “I didn’t expect you to tell me that”

“I don’t think Angelo did either. I tried talking to him a bit about it this morning but we didn’t really get anywhere, then the kids interrupted so....” Charlie trailed off as she once again ran her hand over her stomach. “Martha I don’t know what to do. I love Angelo, of course I do, I love him so much and I want to make this work but at the moment I am struggling to find a way to make it feel right. Does that make sense?” Charlie screwed her face up as she looked up at Martha, who lightly nodded her head.

“You’re confused” Martha said “You clearly still love Angelo and want to be with him but it’s just getting past this that you are finding hard. Charlie, if you want to stay with Angelo, you need to put what happened behind you and stop dwelling on it, otherwise you’ll never get past this and you’ll feel like this for the rest of your life” Martha placed a comforting hand on Charlie’s arm.

“But that’s the thing. No matter how much I try to forget about it I can’t. There’s always something that seems to remind me of what he did”

“Charlie, I’ve never had to deal with infidelity, so maybe I’m not the best one to take advice from, but I can only echo what I’ve said. You just have to put this behind you and think about your future together, you know what you can have with him and the kids, the new baby, the life you can make yourself now” Martha said “You can do it for this little one” Martha said as she pointed to Charlie’s stomach. “You don’t want her to be born into this, do you?” Martha asked and Charlie shook her head.

“I want us to be okay, more than okay...” Charlie trailed off “I want us to get back to what we had before all this....”

“If you want it, only you can make this happen” Martha said “You’ll just have to work hard. Stop focussing on the one wrong that Angelo did and start focussing on the good and all the positive about him and all the good and positive that’s about to happen in your life” Martha once again looked down to Charlie’s stomach as she mentioned the positive.

“That’s what Rachel said when I spoke to her a few months back about me being able to forgive him” Charlie said

“Well there you go” Martha said “Work through that again, start focussing on your future and if it’s what you really want deep down, then in time you will get over this” Martha said and Charlie nodded as a smile appeared on her face.

“Thanks Martha, you’ve really helped” Charlie said

“It’s no problem. You know I’m always here to help” Martha smiled. Charlie and Martha then turned to face their kids again and watched them as they played together smiling and laughing. Placing her hand once again on her stomach Charlie exhaled lightly. She knew she still had far to go, but she was determined to make her marriage work, turning to face Martha once more she smiled as she knew she would be able to get there.

*****

“Dad” Ava moaned “What are you doing on the laptop? You said we were coming straight home to paint the baby’s room”

“We will do the baby’s room soon” Angelo answered, keeping his focus on the laptop screen

“But Dad, you said as soon as we get home. What’s so important on there that you have to do it right now?”

“I’m sorting something out for your Mum” Angelo answered more sharply than he intended to.

“Oh” Ava said “What is it you are doing for her?”

“Just something” Angelo said

“Is it a surprise? Is that why you won’t tell me?”

“Eh yea, I guess it is like a surprise” Angelo answered

“Oh what is it? You can tell me cos I can keep a secret Daddy, I can, I am really good at it”

Angelo laughed lightly at his daughter’s enthusiasm. “I’m going to send Mum away for a few days to a nice hotel” Angelo said as he looked up at his daughter.

“Oooh like a holiday?” Ava said “Am I going too?” Ava asked excitedly

“No sweetie” Angelo answered “You’ll be staying at home”

“Oh” Ava sulked sadly as she bowed her head down “Well Ben doesn’t get to go either” Ava said loudly as she looked back up at Angelo.

“No Ben isn’t going either” Angelo said

“Good” Ava smiled “So is it just you and Mum?” Ava asked

“Nope, I am not going either” Angelo said

Ava pulled a confused expression on her face “So you are sending Mummy away on her own?”

“Nope” Angelo shook his head “Someone is going to go with her”

“Ruby” Ava said “It must be Ruby”

“That’s right” Angelo answered “Mum and Ruby are going to be going away for a few days”

“What about Callum?” Ava asked sounding a little concerned for him.

“He will stay here with us” Angelo said and Ava smiled.

“Okay, I promise I won’t tell” Ava said and Angelo smiled as he printed off the booking details for the hotel and folded them in half, then in half again “Okay, are you ready to go paint this room?” Angelo asked as he stood up from the chair, placing the booking details into his back pocket.

“Yes” Ava said excitedly as she ran across the room and up the stairs and into the baby’s room. “I love to paint” Ava shrieked as Angelo came into the room and laid down the sheets onto the floor so that no paint was spilled onto the newly laid carpet. “Maybe it would have been a better idea to paint the room before getting the carpet put down” Angelo mumbled as he made sure that the whole carpet was covered. He then opened a tin of the baby pink paint and poured some out onto the tray, before handing his daughter a brush. “Have fun” Angelo grinned and Ava grinned back at him before plonking the brush down into the tray causing some to splash out onto the floor. “Be careful Ava” Angelo said sharply, feeling glad with himself for putting the sheets down on the floor.

“But you said have fun” Ava said as she began to paint the first wall.

“I know I did, but you still need to be careful” Angelo said as he joined his daughter in painting the wall.

“Okay” Ava sighed as she more gently this time, covered her brush in the paint. “Hey Dad, I have just had the best idea” Ava said excitedly as she looked up at Angelo.

“Oh, what’s that?” Angelo asked as he stopped painting and looked down at his daughter.

“Well, have you got a name for the baby yet?” Ava wondered

“No, not yet” Angelo said “We will decide on that once she is born”

“Oh well it won’t work then” Ava said sadly as she bowed her head down “So it doesn’t matter” Ava’s voice sounded shaky, as if she was going to cry.

“Hey, Av’s you can still tell me your idea” Angelo said as he stepped closer to his daughter and gently put his hand on her chin, pushing her head back up to face him.

“But it won’t work so it’s silly” Ava said

“Well how about you tell me what it is and I will tell you if it’s silly or not” Angelo said and Ava nodded shyly.

“Well it was…..it was that we painted her name on the wall above where her cot would be but if we don’t have a name then its silly see” Ava said

“Ava” Angelo said “That’s not a silly idea at all, it’s a great idea” Angelo said positively, trying to reassure his daughter.

“But we can’t do it if we don’t have a name” Ava said

“Yeah, but when she does get a name we can do it” Angelo said

“But I wanted it to be done for the baby so it was ready when she came home” Ava moaned

“Well then when the baby and Mum are still in the hospital and she has her name we can paint it before she comes home” Angelo said and Ava stood silent for a moment as if contemplating Angelo’s suggestion.

“Yeah” Ava eventually spoke as she nodded, liking Angelo’s suggestion. “We can do it that way” Angelo smiled as he lightly ruffled his daughter’s hair. “Dad” Ava moaned “Don’t mess my hair like that” Angelo laughed lightly before he continued to paint the wall. After a good few hours of painting the four walls of the room had had at least one coat of paint. “This is tiring” Ava sighed as she dropped her brush on the tray and took as seat in the middle of the room. Angelo smiled at his daughter as he looked down at his watch.

“Do you want to go down for some lunch now?” Angelo asked and Ava nodded.

“Oh yes please” Ava said as she jumped up from the spot she was sitting in. Angelo looked around the room at the walls and was satisfied that they had done enough coats of the paint anyways. “But Dad we aren’t finished, what about the other pink for the stencils?” Ava asked as she pointed down the tin of paint that was close by.

“Well we need to let this paint dry anyways so after lunch we can come back up and finish the painting” Angelo answered.

“Okay” Ava nodded as she ran out of the room and down the stairs to the kitchen. “So what you making me?” Ava asked as Angelo walked into the kitchen.

“What would you like?” Angelo laughed

“Ehm…..a ham and cheese toastie” Ava answered

“Okay, one ham and cheese toastie coming up” Angelo said as he opened the fridge and brought out the ham and cheese before taking the bread out of the bread bin. “And what would you like to drink?

“Orange juice…..no, cola….no, orange, orange….no cola, I want some cola” Ava said

“Right so, orange did you say?” Angelo teased

“No, I said cola. Am I allowed some cola?” Ava asked

“Yeah, you can have one glass” Angelo answered and Ava smiled.

“So Dad, why is Mum getting this holiday?” Ava asked, as she watched Angelo pouring her a class of cola.

“Just because she needs a little break” Angelo said “She’s been really busy lately so she needs a little time out to relax before the baby is born” Angelo walked over to the table and held out the juice for Ava to take from him.

“Oh right” Ava said as she took the glass of juice from Angelo, before taking a long drink of it. “And why does Ruby get to go?” Ava asked as she placed the glass down on the table.

“Ehm, because Ruby needs a little break too” Angelo said and Ava pulled a face.

“Like why though?” Ava asked as she watched Angelo prepare her sandwich to put into the toastie machine.

“Hey Daddy” Ben said happily as he ran through the kitchen and over to Angelo. “Mummy tooked me to the park and Matthew was there and we were playing, then we went to the Diner for some lunch”

“Ah did you have a good time?” Angelo asked as he looked down at his son and Ben nodded, a big grin present on his face.

“Well I’ve been painting the baby’s room, so there” Ava said as she made a face at her younger brother.

“Well I gots to play on the tractor at the park and I got ice cream for dessert” Ben said as he stuck his tongue out at Ava.

“Well Dad told me a secret so ha-ha” Ava said, once again making a face at her younger brother.

“Oh what secret” Ben said “I won’t tell”

“Yes, you will Benny” Angelo said

“ha-ha you don’t get to know” Ava sang, teasing her brother.

“Mummy” Ben cried as Charlie walked into the kitchen “They’re not going to tell the secret”

“Oh, what secret is this?” Charlie asked as she looked down at Ava.

“It’s a secret, we can’t tell you or then it wouldn’t be a secret” Ava said

“No, I guess it wouldn’t be” Charlie mumbled as she looked up at Angelo. She gave him an awkward smile, which was returned.

“I have cola to drink Ben” Ava said feeling proud of herself.

“I want some cola Mummy, please” Ben said as he jumped on the spot.

“Yeah, you can have a little bit” Charlie said as she gave Angelo a nod, and he poured his son a glass before handing it to him.

“Watch you don’t spill it” Charlie shouted as she watched Ben run happily out of the kitchen and into the living room over to his toy box.

“Mum, we’ve been painting the baby’s room today” Ava said excitedly.

“Yeah, so I can see” Charlie said as she looked down at Ava who had paint marks on her face, and paint marks over her clothes.

“Angelo you could have got her to change into something older. She’s only had that top for about a month” Charlie sighed

“Sorry” Angelo bowed his head down. “She was just so excited about starting to paint. She wanted to start it straight away”

“It wouldn’t have taken her a minute to change her clothes Angelo” Charlie said sharply.

“I’m sorry Mum” Ava shouted, in fear this was about to turn into another shouting match between her parents. “We can put it in the wash I am sure it’ll come out” Ava said

“Well I hope it does” Charlie said as Angelo took out the toastie from the machine and put it down on a plate.

“Hey, Ava you can go and watch some TV while eating this if you want” Angelo said and Ava nodded before jumping down from the table, and picking up her juice before taking her plate into her hand and carefully walking through to the living room and placing her lunch down on the coffee table before switching on the TV. Charlie and Angelo stared silently at each other for a moment before Angelo took a few steps forward, walking closer to Charlie. “Charlie, I....”

“Angelo” Charlie spoke over him as she took a step closer to him “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking this morning and I...”

“No, Charlie please” Angelo said, interrupting Charlie. “I’ve been thinking too, and I think you are right, you do need a break” Angelo put his hand into his back pocket took out the hotel booking and held it out in front of him. “So, I’ve arranged this” Angelo said. Charlie exhaled as she looked down and took the piece of paper from Angelo. She opened it up and lightly shook her head as she read the information on the page.

“Angelo, I know I said I needed a break but this wasn’t what I had in mind. I didn’t mean a break away with you, I know it sort of worked for us the last time but it’s not going to this time, I meant I wanted time away from you, not necessarily out of town, I just mean......”

“I know what you meant” Angelo butted in “This weekend isn’t for me and you to go away. I thought you could take Ruby away, you know she’s had a lot to deal with lately as well, a few nights away could be just what she needs, and it could help you too, you won’t have as much distractions so you will be able to work though things better in your head”

“But Angelo, I....” Charlie trailed off as she looked into Angelo’s eyes. She smiled lightly at the thought and kind gesture he had just made. “Thank you, it’ll be good for us to get away from here, especially Ruby” Charlie said and Angelo smiled.

“You’re welcome” Angelo said “I want Ruby driving there though you know I don’t like you driving far in your state”

“Angelo, I’ll be fine to drive” Charlie said

“Charlie, please” Angelo said and Charlie sighed lightly before nodding.

“Rubes will drive” Charlie said as she raised her eyebrows.

“I’m finished” Ava said she brought her empty plate and glass back into the kitchen.

“You ate that quickly” Angelo said as he took the dishes from his daughter.

“I know, I wanted to finish the room” Ava said “We need to finish it before Mum can see it. C’mon Dad” Ava said as she pulled on Angelo’s hand trying to get him to move from the spot in which he was standing.

“Ava I haven’t made my lunch yet” Angelo said as he pulled his hand back.

“But Dad” Ava moaned “I want to finish painting the room, please” Ava looked up at Angelo with that angelic look that neither Angelo nor Charlie can say no to.

“Okay, I guess I can eat after we’ve done the room” Angelo said as he gestured for Ava to walk out of the room. Ava grinned as she hurried back up the stairs and into the baby’s room. After checking the paint was dry Angelo opened the tin of darker paint and poured some into a tray. He removed the stencils from the packaging before picking the first spot on the wall in which to paint it onto. He held the stencil in place as Ava painted over it, and they repeated this step as they went around the room picking out places for the stencil to be painted onto. While waiting on the paint to dry, Angelo and Ava sorted through all the baby clothes that were still in the shopping bags with the tags on. After taking all the tags off and folding them neatly into the drawers, Angelo, with a little help from Ava moved the chest of drawers to the middle of one of the walls and placed a few teddies and a photo frame with a picture of Charlie, Angelo, Ruby, Ava, Ben and Callum in it onto the top. Ava then ripped open the bag of curtains, and watched as Angelo hung them up before helping, or again, trying to help, Angelo move the wardrobe from the centre of the room to against the wall, before filling it with little dresses and more baby grows.

“She has lots and lots of clothes Dad” Ava said as she hung the final dress into the wardrobe.

“I know” Angelo laughed lightly “I think I went a little over board in the clothes department”

“Have we done everything now?” Ava asked

“We still have to put the covers into the cot and there are more teddies that need to put somewhere in here” Angelo said and Ava nodded as she ran over to another bag in the centre of the room and started pulling out the bedding. She – very neatly – made up the covers in the cot before placing a few teddies into it as Angelo hung the mobile above the cot. She then placed the final teddy down next to the changing mat before running over to the doorway where Angelo was already standing.

“This looks very pretty Daddy” Ava said as they looked back into the room.

“Yeah” Angelo smiled “It’s nice”

“I’m going to get Mummy too see it, you stay here” Ava said before she ran from the room to find her Mum. A few minutes later and Ava was leading Charlie – who had been instructed to close her eyes – across the hall and into the room. “Okay, open your eyes Mum” Ava said as they were stood in the centre of the room. Charlie opened her eyes and gasped as she looked around the room.

“It’s lovely” Charlie said as she took note of the baby pink walls with the cerise pink butterflies stencilled on them, the white curtains with the pink butterfly detailing and the mobile above the cot, with butterflies and flowers hanging down.

“Do you like the colours Mum?” Ava asked as she tugged on her hand.

“I love them Av’s” Charlie smiled as she looked down at her daughter.

“I picked them all” Ava smiled

“Well you did a great job baby” Charlie smiled as she wrapped her arms around her daughter, giving her a hug.

“And Daddy too” Ava said “He did a lot too”

“Well Daddy did a great job too” Charlie said as she looked up at Angelo and smiled, this time more lovingly. Angelo returned the smile before he walked closer to Charlie - who still had Ava’s arms wrapped around her – and gently squeezed her shoulder.

“All we need now is the baby and the room will be complete” Angelo smiled as he tentatively placed his hand onto Charlie’s stomach. Charlie flinched back slightly, but allowed Angelo to keep his hand there, feeling his baby daughter as she moved.

[Danni02]

Thank you so much Chester-Sam, Cally, Rach Loves H&A, Charis and Sabrina for the comments. I really appreciate them. I hope you like this next one.

Chapter 75

Ruby gave her son another kiss before handing him over to Angelo. “Now you be a good boy for Granddad” Ruby said as she lightly tickled her sons chin. Callum let out a little squeal of excitement as he waved his arms by his side.

“I’ll help Dad look after him” Ava announced as she appeared next to Ruby and Angelo, having given Charlie a hug goodbye.

“Thank you Ava” Ruby smiled down at her little sister before she opened the boot of her car and put her bag into it, before putting Charlie’s bag into the boot as well. “Well are we ready to go?” Ruby asked as she looked up at Charlie who had an upset looking Ben clinging onto her leg.

“If you can get this one off me” Charlie replied as she tried to shake her son from her. “C’mon Benny, Mummy has to go”

“I don’t want you to go” Ben said sadly as he tightened his grip on his mother.

“Hey, I’ll be home in a few days” Charlie said as she managed to free herself from Ben’s grasp.

“But what will I do here?” Ben asked

“You’ll have fun with Daddy and Ava and Cal” Charlie answered

“Will Daddy take me fishing?” Ben asked

“Yeah of course he will” Charlie answered as she looked to Angelo, who stood nodding his head at Ben’s question.

“Okay then” Ben smiled. Charlie returned a smile to her son before placing a kiss on his head. “Bye Mummy” Ben said as he watched her walking to the car and opening the passenger seat door.

“Bye sweetie” Charlie said as she looked down at her son.

“Bye Mum” Ava said before giving Charlie another hug.

“Bye” Charlie smiled as she lightly placed a kiss on Ava’s head before looking up to Angelo. She smiled lightly as she watched her husband pulling funny faces, much to Callum’s delight. “So, I’ll see you sometime on Sunday” Charlie said but Angelo was too busy entertaining Callum to realise Charlie was now talking to him. “Angelo” Charlie said loudly causing Angelo to look up at his wife. “I said I’ll see you Sunday”

Eh yea” Angelo smiled “See you Sunday” Angelo leaned forward as if to place a small kiss on Charlie’s cheek, but Charlie had already turned to sit herself down in the car. He exhaled lightly as he stepped back, allowing Charlie to close the door.

“Bye Ruby” Ben said as he ran forward and gave her a hug.

“Bye Benny” Ruby said pulling back.

“Ruby will you buy me a present from your holiday?” Ben asked.

“Oh I don’t know about that” Ruby said and Ben sulked.

“I’ll be good for Daddy” Ben grinned cheekily.

Ruby laughed lightly “We’ll see” Ruby said as she gently ruffled her little brothers hair before she walked around to the driver’s side of the car and opened the door. “Bye guys” Ruby said before she got into the car and switched on the car engine. Putting on her seat belt she exhaled lightly before she drove out of the driveway and away from the house, giving a small wave as she glanced up quickly and noticed Ava and Ben waving them off. “So you want to tell me what this weekend really is about?” Ruby asked as they were making their way along the road.

“Cant a mother just want to go on a little holiday with her eldest daughter?” Charlie asked as she looked around to face Ruby.

“A mother can, yes” Ruby said “But I still feel there is more to this weekend away than you are letting on”

“Look if you don’t want to do this then just turn around now and we will stay at home” Charlie said sharply.

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to go” Ruby said “I mean we are going aren’t we? I just....is everything okay with you and Dad?”

“Yeah everything’s great” Charlie said as she turned to face out the window and looked out at the countryside rolling by.

“Mmm hmm” Ruby said taking note of the sarcasm in Charlie’s voice. “Cause there was no awkwardness back there at all and there’s been no tension in the house this past week” Ruby said as she raised her eyebrows.

“Just concentrate on your driving Ruby” Charlie said keeping her focus out of the car window. Ruby sighed as she lightly shook her head. After a few minutes of silence Charlie leaned forward and switched on the car radio.

“It’s Jim Turner on at this time of day” Ruby sighed “I can’t stand him” Charlie exhaled lightly and leaned forward and opened the glove compartment, where Ruby kept her CD wallet. As she pulled it out an envelope fell to the floor and as Ruby caught sight of it she cursed under her breath. Charlie leaned forward and picked up the envelope, her eyes widening as she caught sight of the words in the top left hand corner.

“You have a letter from the prison” Charlie said and Ruby nodded lightly. “When did you get this?”

“A few days ago” Ruby said “Jay wants me to visit him”

“Rubes” Charlie exhaled lightly “Why haven’t you said anything?” Ruby shrugged her shoulders as she kept her focus on the road.

“I thought I was supposed to be concentrating on my driving” Ruby said sharply.

“Rubes” Charlie sighed. Ruby exhaled lightly before she pulled onto the side of the road and switched off the car engine. “You know you’re not supposed to stop here” Charlie said as she looked around the area where Ruby had stopped.

“Mum” Ruby sighed before unbuckling her seat belt and getting out of the car. She leaned herself against the car bonnet as she folded her arms across her chest. Charlie got out of the car and stood herself next to Ruby and looked down at her daughter.

“Hey, what’s this for?” Charlie asked as she noticed a lone tear rolling down Ruby’s cheek. Ruby shrugged her shoulders as she looked up at her mother.

“It’s nothing” Ruby said as she sniffed back more tears.

“C’mon Rubes, it’s something” Charlie said “You don’t just start crying for no reason” Charlie spoke softly as she placed her hand onto Ruby’s shoulder and rubbed it gently.

“We don’t talk to each other anymore” Ruby said quietly as she looked away from Charlie. “I haven’t really said much since Xav.......and lately you’ve just stopped talking to me about stuff that’s bothering you”

“Ruby” Charlie said as she tucked her daughter’s hair behind her ear as it blew gently in the light wind.

“But its truth though isn’t it? We used to talk to each other about everything, but lately....”

“But lately” Charlie said talking over Ruby “I’ve chosen not to talk to you” Charlie paused briefly as she wiped away the tears that fell from Ruby’s eyes with her thumbs. “Not because I don’t want to but because you’re trying to work through your own problems, I’d be selfish to add my own on top of that” Charlie said as she once again wiped a tear that fell from Ruby’s eye.

Ruby smiled lightly as she looked back up at her mother. “That’s kinda sweet” Ruby said as she sniffed. “It seemed like you stopped caring” Ruby said as she looked down “You stopped asking me to open up to you, it was like because I wouldn’t talk you gave up trying, gave up caring”

“Ruby, I would never stop caring about you” Charlie said as she gently turned Ruby’s head so she was facing her mother again. “I don’t want you to ever think that again, you hear me?” Ruby nodded shyly as she listened to her mother. “Rubes, I stopped asking you to open up because clearly you weren’t ready. I assumed you would know I would be here to listen when you were ready”

“Oh I didn’t get that” Ruby shook her head lightly “That’s why I talked to Angelo. That and the fact you seem to have something going in you own life at the moment, you don’t need my problems adding to that either”

Charlie smiled lightly as she sat herself down next to Ruby, placing her arm around her. “You know that no matter what is going on in my life, I will always have time for your problems or worries.....Rubes I’ll always have time and be able to help you too. I’m your Mother, it’s my job to always be here for you” Charlie said as she tightened her grip on her daughter. Ruby smiled as she looked up at Charlie.

“You know, I like to be here for you too” Charlie smiled lightly as she listened to her daughter’s words. “Sometimes me having to help you out, it just....it lets me forget about my life for a while and focus on something else, especially lately, forgetting about what’s going on, I like to do that” Ruby said sadly as she bowed her head.

“Rubes, you know trying to forget about what’s going on, it’s not going to fix anything. It’s not going to make anything go away. You can’t.....you shouldn’t do that”

“I know” Ruby said “Will you help me, please” Charlie looked at her daughter’s tear stained face and fought hard with herself to hold her own tears back.

“Of course I will” Charlie smiled as she cupped her hand around Ruby cheek and rubbed in gently. “So where do you want to start?” Charlie asked tentatively as she slowly took her hand away from Ruby’s cheek.

“Xavier” Ruby said quietly “Before he died....I told him that I hated him” Ruby sniffed back, desperate for no more tears to fall. “He’d started hanging around with this guy....Dean. He was.....well I didn’t like him, he was a bit of an idiot....a waster” Ruby said as she began to play with Xavier’s ring, which still hung around her neck. “Xav changed when he was around Dean and I didn’t like him when he was with him, he just wasn’t the same Xav that I fell in love with, the same Xav I married, that I decided to have a baby with. Anyways, we were having this argument and I told him straight, I told him I hated who he became but it wasn’t true, of course I didn’t hate him, I was just, I...and then he left the flat because of me and then he.....” Ruby stopped talking as the tears fell down her face.

“Ruby” Charlie said sympathetically as she gently rubbed her daughters arm. “I don’t want to hear you say what you are going to say next” Charlie said and Ruby pulled a face in confusion.

“How do you know what I am going to say?” Ruby asked

“You’re blaming yourself for Xavier’s death” Charlie said and Ruby looked to Charlie a little shocked. “By saying you hated him, Rubes, that doesn’t make it your fault. Xavier chose to leave the flat, Rubes you can’t hold yourself responsible for Xavier’s actions, or what happened that night. Jay was the one driving, Jay was the one who hit Xavier and Jay is the only one to blame for Xavier’s tragic death”

“That’s what Angelo said too” Ruby sniffed back even more tears. “Jay’s the only one to blame”

“Well Angelo is right” Charlie said “And Rubes, Xavier wouldn’t have believed you hated him. Things get said in the heat of the moment all the time and you were pregnant, and a pregnant woman being all hormonal and emotional.....goodness knows what she can come up with” Charlie said and Ruby laughed lightly. “See that’s what I prefer” Charlie smiled “It makes me sad when you get upset, I like to hear you laughing”

“Yeah, well I like it when you make me feel better. Hearing that from you.....I needed it” Ruby said “I mean Dad was great with me when I spoke to him but talking about it with you....your opinion....it’s the one that really means the most to me” Charlie smiled as she pushed herself up from leaning against the bonnet.

“Come here baby” Charlie said as she opened her arms out, inviting Ruby in for a hug.

“Baby?” Ruby questioned as she stood herself up straight “Mum, I’m nearly 24”

Charlie shook her head lightly “4, 24 or 54 you’ll always be my baby” Ruby smiled as she wrapped her arms around Charlie and embraced in the hug with her mother.

*****

“Wow…..sorry, I don’t really know what else I can say” Ruby said as she pulled the car up into the car park and found a parking space. Sighing lightly she switched off the car engine and turned to face her mother as she unbuckled her seat belt.

“It’s okay” Charlie said as she took her seat belt off and also turned to face Ruby. “There’s not much people can say really. I think this is just something I need to work through on my own”

“So that’s what this weekend is about” Ruby said “You told Angelo how you were feeling and that you needed time apart and Angelo being all sweet and lovely goes ahead and books you a little break away” Ruby smiled feeling pleased with herself.

“Good work detective” Charlie said “Sure there's nothing else in that brain of yours? No words of wisdom you can give me?”

“Well you could take your own advice” Ruby said and Charlie pulled a face in confusion. “This morning you told me that trying to forget, its not going to make anything go away or fix anything. You trying to forget about what happened isn’t going to magically fix the problems you have with Angelo now” Ruby said and Charlie bit her lip and she nodded lightly.

“You’re so right” Charlie said “Want to keep going? You seem to be on a bit of a roll”

“Well there is actually something else I want to say, but I don’t know if you are going to like it all that much” Ruby said quietly.

“Rubes, tell me” Charlie said “You’re not scared are you? Just tell me what you think”

Ruby bit her lip and stared at Charlie for a moment. “It’s just….I think you are being a little unrealistic” Ruby spoke tentatively and slowly.

“Unrealistic?” Charlie questioned and Ruby nodded.

“You’re expecting yourself to be able to forget about what Angelo did. Sorry but that’s never going to happen and honestly, I don’t think it’s necessary”

“How do you know it’s never going to happen?” Charlie asked

Ruby exhaled lightly “Don’t tell me this isn’t true because I know there will be…..I know that sometimes when you look at me you are going to be reminded of how I was conceived. Stuff like that, your not going to forget it, Mum” Ruby said “Or Ava even. I bet sometimes when you look at her you remember her when she was lying in that incubator fighting to get strong enough to come home”

Charlie nodded lightly as she listened to Ruby’s words. “Your right. I am never going to forget”

“But you’re not expected too” Ruby said “Mum what you have to do is put it in the past and leave it there. You should concentrate on moving on from this and your future with Angelo”

“I know and that’s what I am going to go” Charlie said confidently as she hit her hand off the dashboard. “Starting now….no more picturing it in my head, no more thinking over how he could do this to me and no more thinking about Shelly and how that bitch has….”

“Starting from when?” Ruby asked as she placed her hand on top of Charlie’s and gave her a questioning look.

“Now” Charlie said before taking a deep breath. “Okay, let’s go and get checked in and we can get some lunch” Charlie said as she opened her car door and stood up. “And we could do with finding some toilets. You know baby my bladder is not some toy for you to play with” Charlie said softly as she looked down to her stomach while gently running her hand across it. Ruby laughed lightly at Charlie as she got their bags out from the boot before locking her car doors. They walked across the car park and into the hotel and over to reception to check in.

“Hey” Ruby said as she put the bags down on the floor. “We have a reservation under Rosetta”

The man nodded before typing something into his computer. “Yes, I have you here. Twin room, 2 nights with an ocean view” He smiled as he looked back up at Charlie and Ruby. “If I can just get one of you to sign here please” The man said as he picked the piece of paper out of the printer and marked an X where he wanted them to sign. Ruby picked up the pen and scribbled down her name before pushing the piece of paper back across the desk towards him. “And it’s noted down here that a Mr Angelo Rosetta will be picking up the bill, including all meals and any extra’s such as spa treatments” The man said as he looked from the screen to Charlie then back to the screen again.

“Aww isn’t Angelo sweet” Ruby whispered as she looked up to Charlie. Charlie shushed Ruby as she lightly hit her arm.

“Okay, so here is your room key. Room 424, lifts are to the end of the hall and to the right” The man said as he made a hand gesture in the direction of the lifts. “Do you need any help with your luggage?”

“No, I’ve got it” Ruby said as she picked up the key card from the desk.

“Okay, I hope you have a pleasant stay with us and if you have any queries please do not hesitate to contact us here at reception” The man said with a big smile present on his face.

“Thank you” Charlie smiled before lightly pushing Ruby to the side and they walked over to the lifts and went up to room. Charlie immediately headed for the bathroom, while Ruby walked through the room and dumped their bags down on the floor before sitting down on one of the beds. Moments later and Charlie walked back into the room and over to Ruby.

“Hey, that’s my bed” Charlie said and Ruby looked up at Charlie and pulled a face.

“But I always sleep on the left, so I need the left hand bed” Ruby said as she watched Charlie standing there shaking her head.

“Well I sleep on the left too, so move” Charlie said

“But Mum…..I…..I’m…I’m your baby, you should give me what I want” Ruby said as she gave Charlie a cheeky grin.

“Well…..I’m the pregnant lady, so I win, so c’mon shift” Charlie said. Ruby sighed lightly before she jumped off the bed and lifted her bag up onto the other one.

“So do we unpack now or eat first?” Ruby questioned as she looked up to Charlie who had already made a start to opening the biscuits that were on the tray next to the coffee, tea, hot chocolate and the kettle. “I guess that means you are hungry” Ruby said as she watched Charlie in amusement. Charlie nodded as her mouth was too full to reply. “Okay, lunch first it is then” Ruby said before they walked out of the room and down to one of the hotel restaurants. “Well if angelo is paying it looks like it’s a 3 courser” Ruby grinned as she looked up to Charlie from behind the menu. “We should make the most of this weekend, Angelo paying and all”

“Don’t Angelo and I pay for everything for you anyways?” Charlie asked as she put the menu she was reading back down on the table.

“Well technically….yes” Ruby said before taking a drink of her water. She looked up at Charlie and exhaled lightly. “Sorry, I know. I will look for a job when we get home so I can get some money for myself. You know, start paying for some things, especially for Cal”

“I don’t mind helping you out Rubes but maybe it is time you started making some money of your own, you know at least getting a part time job” Charlie said and Ruby nodded as she sighed lightly.

“I know. I said I’d look didn’t I?” Ruby said and Charlie nodded lightly. “Hey, I was thinking” Ruby said “After lunch we could maybe go along to the spa and book some treatments. When I was looking online at the hotel last night, I had a quick look at the spa lists and there are these pregnancy treatment things so you can still use the spa” Ruby said.

“Ehm maybe, we’ll see” Charlie said before taking a drink of her water.

“Well well well” The voice which Charlie immediately recognised said, as she walked closer to the table. “Charlie, long time no see, how have you been?” She smirked as she looked down at her. Charlie sat frozen and she saw Shelly staring down at her.

[Danni02]

Thank you so much Charis, Chester-Sam, Rach Loves H&A and Barbara Really not sure about this one. Hope it is okay!

Chapter 76

Angelo, Jack, Matthew and Ben walked along the pier and over to Jack’s boat. Matthew immediately jumped onto the boat and kicked his shoes off before he climbed up the seating that ran along the edge of the boat. “C’mon Benjamin” Matthew said “Get on the boat” Ben stood frozen to the spot as he looked out to the sea. He shook his head before stepping back and wrapping his arm around Angelo’s leg.

“Daddy there’s too much water” Ben said “I don’t want to go”

“Mate” Angelo exhaled lightly as he moved Ben’s hand from his leg and bent down to his son’s level. “I thought you wanted to go fishing”

“Not in the water” Ben said shaking his head “Just sitting on the bridge like we did last week” Ever since he’d fell into the swimming pool and almost drowned just weeks before he had become increasingly scared of going near the water.

“Ben, we are not going to be in the water” Angelo said as he took his son’s hand in his.

“But we will be on it” Ben said “Please Daddy I don’t want to go. I don’t want to fall in again”

“Mate, you’re not going to fall in” Angelo said

“How do you know that?” Ben asked

“Because Daddy won’t let you” Angelo said “I’ll look after you”

“Can I sit on your knee when we are in the boat?” Ben asked and Angelo nodded.

“Yeah mate, sure you can” Angelo said and Ben smiled before he looked nervously back at the boat.

“It’s okay Ben” Matthew said “It’s not scary. I will hold your hand” Matthew said as he jumped back off the boat and ran over to his friend.

“Jack will you be a careful driver?” Ben asked as he looked up to Jack who had appeared at their side again after putting all the rods and bait into his boat.

“Oh yes” Jack nodded “You can even help me drive the boat if you’d like” Jack said and Ben’s eyes widened.

“I’d like that” Ben smiled

“Oh Daddy can I help too” Matthew beamed

“Yeah, you can both have a shot” Jack said and the boys cheered before Matthew ran back onto the boat before turning around and holding his hand out for Ben to take.

“Are you coming then Ben?” Matthew asked and Ben nodded shyly as he tightly grabbed onto Angelo’s hand.

“I want Daddy’s hand too” Ben said before they started to walk forward and got onto the boat. As soon as Ben was on the boat Matthew took his hand into his and led Ben and Angelo to the seats at the front of the boat. Angelo sat down on the seat and Ben immediately jumped up on his knee and held onto him tightly as Jack began to drive the boat out to their fishing spot. Matthew let go of Ben hands and ran over to Jack and tried to take the wheel of the boat into his hands.

“Daddy you said I could drive” Matthew said as he turned his head up to face Jack.

“C’mon then mate” Jack said as he place one hand onto his son’s shoulder and the other on top of his other hand, directing him in the steering of the boat. Matthew giggled with delight at driving the boat.

“Daddy, I want to talk to Mummy” Ben said as he turned his head up to face Angelo. Angelo exhaled lightly as he tried to reach into his pocket to pull out his mobile but the simple task proved to be slightly more difficult as he tried to keep hold of his son from falling off his knee.

“Sorry Benny, Daddy doesn’t have a signal out here” Angelo said and Ben pulled a sad face.

“But I miss her already” Ben said close to tears.

“Hey, we can phone her tonight and you can tell her all about how brave you were getting on the boat and how many fish you caught today” Angelo said and Ben nodded.

“Yeah. I’m gonna catch 17 thousand” Ben said excitedly

“17 thousand” Angelo said and Ben nodded “Whoa that lots mate. We won’t have any room for all those fish”

“Well” Ben said before he scratched his head “We can put them back in the water after we’ve catched them”

“Oh okay” Angelo said

“Yeah yeah we’ll do that. But we will keep some and you can cook it for dinner” Ben said

“Oh I will, will I?” Angelo said and Ben nodded “And if I cook fish, would you eat it this time?”

“Yes I would Daddy” Ben said as the boat came to a stop and Matthew appeared back at Angelo’s side.

“It’s fishing time” Matthew screeched “Are you coming to get our rods?” Matthew asked as he looked up to Ben. Ben looked down at Matthew and shook his head.

“I’m staying on Daddy’s knee” Ben said as he folded his arms.

“It’s okay Ben you are not going to fall in the water” Matthew said “You can take my hand again” Matthew said as he held it out for him to take. Ben looked at Matthew before looking up to Angelo nervously.

“Go on mate, you’ll be fine” Angelo said and Ben took a deep breath before he jumped down from Angelo’s knee and took Matthew’s hand, before the pair of them walked across the boat to collect their fishing rods.

****

“Charlie” Shelly said “Aren’t you going to talk to me?” Shelly laughed lightly as she took a seat at the table next to Charlie. Ruby sat there unsure of what to say or do. “Ruby, how have you been?” Shelly asked

“Eh” Ruby said “Do you want to like, leave” Shelly shook her head and she looked from Ruby to Charlie and seemed to get a kick out of the look on Charlie’s face.

“Aww c’mon Charlie, you’re not still all hung up over what me and Angelo did, are you? That was months ago, let it go”

“Your one to talk” Ruby spat

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Shelly asked

“Well didn’t you say you slept with Angelo because Mum stole Grant from you?” Ruby questioned and Shelly nodded

“Yeah so your point is?” Shelly said

“Well that was like what, something that must have happened 24 years ago? I think you need to get over that. Grant was nothing but a….” Ruby paused as she felt Charlie’s hand go onto her arm and looked to Charlie to find her shaking her head lightly.

“I did get over that” Shelly grinned “What a night it was too”

“What are you doing here?” Charlie asked eventually bringing herself into the conversation.

“Here?” Shelly questioned “Well you see my Mum had a fall and broke her hip so I went back home to Sydney to look after her and I’ve stopped off here for a few nights before going back to Yabbie Creek”

“What a delightful story” Ruby yawned uninterested “But I believe Mum meant why are you sitting here at this table”

“Oh, I just wanted to catch up with my old friend Charlie, and to see how the lovely Angelo was getting on. You know I can’t wait to get home and see him again” Shelly smirked “How is he by the way?”

“Great” Ruby answered “He’s happily married, looking forward to the arrival of his daughter…..” Shelly watched Charlie as Ruby spoke and she was pleased with the fact that Charlie looked increasingly uncomfortable.

“I can’t stay here” Charlie said as she quickly stood up from the table and made an exit from the restaurant. Ruby looked to Shelly for a moment before she stood up and walked out after Charlie. She found her in the toilets learning against the sink, breathing heavily.

“Don’t let her see that she gets to you. That’s all she wants, a reaction” Ruby said. Charlie shook her head as she looked down to Ruby.

“This isn’t about her” Charlie said “The baby….I’m in….she’s coming” Charlie stood herself up and started to pace around the room as she put her hands on the small of her back.

“What” Ruby yelled in shock as she walked towards Charlie. “It can’t be. You’re not due till…” Ruby trailed off as watched her mother breathing though a contraction.

“Angelo” Charlie yelled “Rubes I need you to get me Angelo”

“No, Mum I think I need to get you to the hospital” Ruby said as she put her arms around her mother and tried to lead her out of the room but Charlie wouldn’t move.

“Angelo” Charlie yelled once more “Ruby you need to phone Angelo” Ruby nodded as she pulled her mobile out from her pocket and rang Angelo’s number. “It’s going straight to voicemail” Ruby said with panic in her voice. “Mum please, we need to get you to the hospital” Charlie shook her head as she sat herself down, leaning herself against the wall.

“I can’t” Charlie shook her head “She coming now” Ruby looked down to Charlie for a moment as if to double check that this really was happening, for it had all happened so quickly. Charlie worked through another contraction as Ruby slowly walked backwards, heading out of the room. “Ruby, I need you, come here”

“I’m going to get you help okay, I’ll be right back”

“No. You can’t leave me” Charlie cried “Ruby I need you here”

“I’ll be just a sec” Ruby said before she ran out of the room in a panic, returning moments later with help by her side.

“Her” Charlie seethed “She is not coming anywhere near my baby”

“Charlie” Shelly said as she knelt down next to her and placed a hand onto her shoulder.

“Don’t you touch me” Charlie yelled

“Look, Charlie” Shelly said once more as she removed her hand from Charlie. “I know I’m probably the last person you want helping you right now, but you are about to give birth and I’m here to be of assistance”

“I don’t need your help” Charlie said “I need my husband. Ruby where is he” Charlie cried as she looked up at her daughter.

“I don’t know” Ruby said “I can’t get hold of him”

“Then you need too” Charlie cried “I need him. I promised him that no matter what was going on with us he would be at this birth and I need him here for me too. He promised me Ruby. He told me he’d be here for me and I’m not doing anything until he gets here” Charlie said as she fought off an overwhelming urge to push.

“Charlie, you can’t fight against this. If baby wants to come then I’m afraid….” Shelly started

“What did you get her for” Charlie yelled as she grabbed onto Ruby who was now kneeling down next to Charlie, trying to comfort her.

“She’s a nurse” Ruby said, as she winced slightly at the grip her mother had on her.

“Exactly, a nurse. She’s not even a midwife” Charlie once again tried to fight against her urge to push. “She doesn’t know what she’s doing”

“Charlie, I know that it’s time for you to push. I know that this baby is going to be born pretty soon. Sorry but you are going to have to do this without Angelo” Shelly said softly as she gently rubbed Charlie’s arm.

“Ruby I need you” Charlie cried “I need you to be like Angelo and help me and say all the things he’d say”

“I’m here” Ruby said as she pushed Charlie’s hair back from in front of her face “And I’m not going anywhere”

“Okay” Charlie nodded lightly before finally giving into her urge, and began to push.

****

“I caught one, I caught one” Ben squealed “Daddy I caught a fish” Angelo looked around to his son who was now happy to be sitting in his own seat that was placed a small distance away from where Angelo and Jack where sitting. Angelo stood up and walked over to his son and helped him to reel it in. “Eeew” Ben said as he saw the fish that he’d caught. “It looks a yucky one. Don’t cook that one Daddy. Throw it back in” Angelo laughed at his son as he set the fish back into the water before going back over to his seat and sitting back down. He sighed lightly before looking around at Jack.

“So what were you going to say to me?” Angelo asked. They had been talking about his issues with Charlie, and Angelo was keen for any sort of advice or help that Jack was willing to give.

“I don’t think Charlie is ever going to get over this betrayal completely. But she gave you that second chance, so she obviously loves you enough and wants to be with you. She’s probably scared that you are going to hurt her like that again, and that’s probably holding her back from moving on with you” Angelo nodded understandingly as he listened to Jack’s words. “But give her time Angelo, and she will work through her problems”

“Your right” Angelo sighed “But it just doesn’t seem fair that Charlie is the one who’s got all these issues to work through now when I’m the one who made the mistake if the first place” Angelo said as he shamefully bowed his head down.

“Then don’t let her do it alone” Jack said “Let her know that you know you did wrong and that you will do whatever it takes to make her feel loved and wanted and secure in your relationship. Keep telling her that you love her, tell her that she is beautiful, bring home flowers for her, little gifts, take her out for meals, make her feel special and show her that you are still attracted to her. Assure her that you have no feelings what-so-ever about ever doing this to her again. Angelo, you need to work through this together if you want your marriage to work” Once again Angelo nodded as he listened to his friend’s words. Jack was right, he needed to show Charlie support and work through her issues with her if he wanted to get things back on track and strengthen his marriage.

“Yeah that’s what I need to do” Angelo said “Thanks mate” Angelo lightly patted Jack’s back as he smiled at him.

“No worries” Jack said

“Daddy I got another one” Ben screeched.

“Aww mate” Angelo said “How come you are catching all the fish today?” Angelo stood up from the seat and once again helped his son to reel in his catch.

“I’m the bestest fisher” Ben grinned as he peered down the side of the boat to see the fish he had caught. “Oh this looks prettyful. Daddy can you cook that one for dinner?”

“You want to cook the pretty fish but put the yucky looking one back in the sea?” Angelo questioned

“Well the more prettyful the fish the nicer it tastes” Ben said confidently and Angelo laughed.

“Ahh is that how it works” Angelo said and Ben nodded.

“Daddy” Matthew shouted “I want to catch a fish” Matthew sounded disappointed that he hadn’t yet been able to catch a fish but Ben had caught two.

“You’ll have to keep trying mate” Jack said as he walked over and stood beside his son.

“But I’ve tried for ages” Matthew sulked “Why am I not catching one?”

“I don’t know” Jack said shaking her head.

“But you should” Matthew said “Daddy’s are always supposed to have the answers” Jack laugh lightly as he ruffled his son’s hair.

“Why don’t we have a little break from fishing and eat our sandwiches” Jack suggested as he leaned over and picked up the picnic box. “Then after lunch we will try again to catch some fish”

“Okay” Matthew sighed “But if I don’t catch one I won’t be a happy boy”

“I’m happy” Ben beamed “Cos I got 2 fish today. I can’t wait to tell my Mummy all about my day and I will draw her a picture about it too. Daddy can I call Mummy yet?” Ben asked as he looked up to Angelo, who was already tucking into a sandwich.

Angelo lifted his phone out of his pocket once more and shook his head. “Sorry mate, I still don’t have a signal”

“Oh” Ben said sadly “What does that even mean?” Ben said as he pulled a confused look on his face.

“Oh I know” Matthew said as he gave a little jump “It means that the phone won’t work to call people because you need the little bars back on your phone to call people”

“Oh” Ben said “When will you get the little bars back Daddy?”

“Eh, when we get back in the town” Angelo said and Ben nodded.

“I just want to talk to my Mummy” Ben sighed

“Yeah and as soon as we get back into town we will call her, okay” Angelo said and Ben nodded. “Here, have some lunch” Angelo said as he handed Ben a sandwich. Ben took it from him before jumping back up on his seat and began to eat.

****

Charlie leaned her head back against the wall as she breathed heavily. “You did it Mum” Ruby said proudly as she rubbed the beads of sweat from Charlie’s brow with a paper towel. “Aww she’s so tiny” Ruby said as she watched Shelly placing the baby onto Charlie’s chest. Charlie took her daughter in her arms and a tear rolled down her cheek as she looked down at the tiny baby she was now holding.

“Hey Peanut” Charlie said happily, but was then overcome with worry when she realised her baby daughter was yet to make a sound. “She not crying” Charlie said as her eyes widened and sheer panic hit her tone of voice. “Shelly why isn’t she crying?” Charlie looked up to Shelly who was sitting staring down at the baby, an expression of worry plastered across her face.

“I don’t….I don’t….” Shelly tried to talk but she couldn’t find herself able to string a sentence together.

“Shelly, you make her cry” Charlie said as a tear rolled down her cheek. “Is she even breathing? Oh God Ruby, she’s not even breathing” Charlie said, her tears becoming heavier.

“Shelly do something” Ruby yelled

“Eh….we need to keep her warm” Shelly said “We need to wrap her up in something”

“Here take this” Ruby said as she unzipped her hoodie and flung it over to Shelly. Carefully picking up the baby from Charlie’s arms Shelly wrapped her up as she brought her close to her chest, also trying to use her own body heat to warm the baby. “Where is the ambulance” Ruby cried “It should be here by now”

“Try calling it again” Shelly said as she lightly rubbed the baby’s chest, trying to stimulate the baby into breathing. Charlie sat there staring down at her baby daughter, the tears rolling down her cheek. She couldn’t talk, she couldn’t move, she just sat there watching in total shock as Shelly tried to get the baby to take a breath. She felt numb and overwhelmed with the situation. Ruby also sat and watched hoping and praying that her baby sister would take her first breath. Wrapping her arms around Charlie in an attempt to comfort her, she could do nothing but watch. “C’mon baby” Shelly muttered under her breath as she continued in her desperate attempt to get her to take a breath.

[Danni02]

Thank you so much kitkat1992, Rach Loves H&A, Charis, Chester-Sam, Cally and Sabrina for the lovely comments. I hope you like this next one.

Chapter 77

Angelo walked as quickly as he could along the corridor of the hospital as he found the maternity ward, and then tried to find Charlie’s room. “Daddy” Ben moaned “You’re going to fast, I can’t keep up” Ben ran as fast as his little legs could allow him until he caught up with Angelo, who had stood still – rather impatiently – until his son caught up with him. Taking hold of Ben’s hand he continued to walk at a quick pace as Ben tried to keep up with it. Finally finding room 12, Angelo walked through the door to find Charlie sitting up in the bed and Ruby sitting on the chair at the side, her hand lightly rubbing Charlie’s arm in a comforting manner. “Mummy” Ben beamed as he ran across the room and climbed up onto the bed and snuggled down next to her. “I was a big brave boy today and I went on the boat and I didn’t get scared of the water” Ben looked up to Charlie as he grinned.

“Wow” Charlie said, trying to put as much enthusiasm into her voice as she could. “That’s great Ben, I’m really proud of you baby” Charlie ran her hand over her son’s head as she spoke.

“Yeah and I caught the fish for dinner. Daddy will cook it. You can come home and eat it now too” Ben said excitedly.

“I think Mummy might have to stay in the hospital a little longer” Charlie said and Ben’s face saddened.

“Hey, Ben” Ruby said as she stood up. “I think you deserve some ice-cream for being such a brave boy on that boat today”

“Oh” Ben’s eyes widened “Can I Daddy, please”

“Of course you can mate. Go on, Ruby will take you for some now” Angelo said as he made a head gesture for Ben to go towards the door. Ben exhaled lightly as he jumped down off the bed and took Ruby’s hand. Angelo smiled lightly at Ruby before she led her little brother out of the room. As soon as the door closed shut Charlie burst into tears, and buried her head in her hands. Angelo didn’t say a word he just walked across to the bed and wrapped his arms around his wife and held her.

“I’m sorry” Charlie cried “I’m so sorry. I tried, I really tried to hold her in, I really tried to wait Angelo, but I couldn’t, I just couldn’t wait any longer” Charlie looked up to Angelo as the tears streamed down her face. “It just all happened so fast. One minute I felt fine then the next I had a few pains and then she was here”

“It’s okay” Angelo said as gently tucked Charlie’s hair behind her ear.

“It’s not” Charlie cried “Being at this birth meant so much to you and I really wanted you there. You’ve missed seeing you kids being born”

“Hey, I got to see Ben being born, did I?” Angelo said lightly as he took a seat on the chair, taking Charlie’s hand into his and rubbing it gently. Charlie nodded lightly as she wiped a tear away from her face.

“But it still meant so much to you to be there and I had to go and screw that up”

“Charlie, this wasn’t your fault” Angelo said as the door opened and Shelly walked into the room. “You” Angelo said loudly “What do you want from us now? Just leave us….”

“No, Angelo, don’t” Charlie said and Angelo looked to Charlie confusingly. “She was there when I was giving birth and if it wasn’t for Shelly and her quick thinking then the baby probably wouldn’t be alive right now. She pretty much saved her life Angelo”

“Oh” Angelo said as he placed his hand onto his chest, feeling slightly taken aback. “Well I guess I should say thank you” Angelo said as he looked up to Shelly.

“Hey, I just did what anyone else would have” Shelly said “But if you want to find a way to thank me” Shelly smirked as she looked down to Angelo.

Angelo shook his head “Just go”

“You know where I live if you change your mind” Shelly winked before she turned and walked out of the room. Angelo looked around to Charlie who sat there shaking her head in disbelief that Shelly acted like that, given the current circumstances.

“Just when I thought that slutty tramp was……”

“Charlie” Angelo said shaking his head “C’mon we’ve got more important things to think about right now” Charlie took a deep breath as the door opened and another nurse walked into the room, pushing an empty wheelchair.

“Charlie” The nurse smiled as she approached the bed. “Hello, you must be Daddy” The nurse smiled as she looked down to Angelo.

“Angelo” Angelo said

“Well hello, Angelo. I’m Erin and I’m going to be one of the nurses looking after you’re daughter while she’s stays in the NICU. Angelo nodded as he gave the nurse a smile back. “Now I bet you are dying to see her” Erin grinned. “Little cutie she is” Charlie smiled nervously at Erin as she got out of the bed and sat herself down on the wheelchair. Erin wheeled her along to the NICU and Angelo followed eager to see his new baby daughter. As Erin wheeled Charlie up to the incubator a tear immediately rolled down her cheek as she saw the baby hooked up to all the machines, looking so tiny and lost as she lay there. Angelo placed his hand on Charlie’s shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze.

“She’s gorgeous” Angelo said as he welled up. “Hey baby, I’m your Daddy” Erin smiled as she watched Angelo staring lovingly down at his newborn daughter.

“Have you told him the stats yet?” Erin asked and Charlie shook her head in response. Angelo looked round to Erin with an interested look on his face. “Well she’s 15 inches long and 2lbs 8oz, which is around what you would expect for a baby born at 29 weeks” Erin said and Angelo nodded.

“She looks so much like Ava lying there” Charlie said softly and she stood up from the wheelchair and put her hand gently on top of the incubator.

“And just like Ava she is going to come home 100% healthy” Angelo smiled as he once again lightly squeezed Charlie’s shoulder, in an act of comfort. Erin smiled as she looked at the couple staring lovingly down at their newborn daughter.

“So, does she have a name yet?” Erin asked.

“Well we do have a couple of names in mind” Angelo said as he looked down to Charlie.

“And you know what, I love them both so you decide” Charlie said

“Yeah?” Angelo questioned as a smile appeared on his face and Charlie nodded. “Okay this is…” Angelo paused as he looked at his daughter, as if studying her face. “Megan. This is Megan” Angelo smiled as he look down to Charlie but the smile quickly fell as he saw the look on her face. “Or not?” Angelo questioned

“Sorry, I don’t think she looks like a Megan” Charlie said as she lightly shook her head.

“What was the other name you had in mind?” Erin asked

“Aimee” Angelo said as he once again looked to Charlie, who had burst into tears.

“She doesn’t look like an Aimee” Charlie cried

“Okay, we won’t call her Aimee either” Angelo said as he pulled her closer to him and brought her into a hug. “Charlie what are you crying for?”

“Because we need to find her a name” Charlie said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Hey, baby it’s okay” Angelo said as he ran his hand through her hair. “She’s only a few hours old; we don’t have to think of a name right this second, we have plenty time” Charlie sniffed as she wiped the tears from her cheeks, before she nodded, responding to Angelo.

“Okay, so we’ll just keep it baby girl Rosetta for now” Erin said as she looked down the baby and smiled. “Well I’ll leave you two alone for now” Erin walked away leaving Charlie and Angelo still in the embrace, staring down at their baby girl. After a few minutes of silence Angelo could once more hear cries coming from his wife.

“Hey, what’s this for now?” Angelo asked and he looked down to Charlie and started to wipe the tears away.

“Why can’t I do it Angelo?” Charlie cried

“Do what?” Angelo asked confused

“Carry a baby full term” Charlie answered “They’ve all been early. Ruby and Ben only by a few weeks and they pretty much got to come home straight away but Ava and this one, Angelo….she’s really early. What if she dies? It’ll be all my fault. Maybe it’s some kind of punishment for not wanting her for so long, for going to abort her. I do want her Angelo, I want her so much and I love her already, please don’t let her die” Charlie tightened her grip on Angelo as more tears streamed down her face.

“Charlie this isn’t your fault and you’re not being punished” Angelo said as he lightly rubbed Charlie’s back. “And you know what she is?” Angelo asked and Charlie shook her head looking slightly confused. “She’s half Buckton and those Buckton girls, they’re strong and they’re fighters. She’s going to get through this Charlie” Angelo said as he tucked Charlie’s hair behind her ear. Charlie smiled lightly at Angelo’s words.

“You really sure about that?” Charlie asked

“Yeah, I really believe she is going to be okay. Think about it, Charlie we didn’t plan this, we protected against you getting pregnant but it still happened. She was obviously meant to be here”

“I wish I could share your positive attitude” Charlie said “But looking down at her now, all these machines and tubes, it’s going to be a hard time Angelo”

“I know. But we’ll get through it” Angelo nodded lightly “and so will she” Angelo placed a soft kiss onto the top of Charlie’s head before exhaling lightly. “I hope” Angelo muttered too quietly for Charlie to hear as he looked back down at his baby daughter.

****

Morag walked along the corridor with Callum in her arms, and an excited Ava walking by her side, clutching onto the little pink rabbit that she had picked out to give to the baby, earlier that same week. “Did you say room 12 Granny?” Ava asked as she stopped outside the door. Morag nodded and Ava grinned as she burst through the door, causing everyone in the room to look up. As Morag walked into the room Callum caught sight of his mother and he let out a squeal of excitement as he waved his arms out to go to her.

“Hey baby” Ruby said as she stood up from the chair and took her son into her arms.

“Mum, I brought the teddy for Peanut” Ava said as she ran over and stood at Charlie’s bed side. “Where is she?” Ava asked as she looked around the room but noting that the baby wasn’t there.

“She’s in a special nursery” Charlie said

“A special one?” Ava questioned “Why?”

“She was born quite early so she has to stay in a special cot called an incubator to help her get strong enough to be allowed to come home” Charlie said as she tried to explain it simply enough for her daughter to understand.

“Oh” Ava said “But can we still see her when she is in the special nursery?”

“Yeah, of course we can” Charlie smiled as she ran her hand through Ava’s hair.

“So can we go then?” Ava asked and Charlie nodded lightly as she got herself out of the bed and they all made their way from Charlie’s room along to the NICU. Ava jumped up excitedly as she tried to look into the window, before she ran ahead and opened the door and they made their way to the incubator.

“Aww she’s lovely Charlie” Morag smiled “She looks like Ava did when she was a baby”

“That’s what Charlie said” Angelo smiled before looking down at his son, who was too small in height to be able to see into the incubator. “You want me to lift you up mate so you can see?” Ben shook his head as he backed away from Angelo.

“Aww Benny” Ruby said “Don’t you want to see your baby sister?”

“I want to see her” Ava moaned “Get out the way Ruby” Ava pushed Ruby slightly as she tried to get in front of her. Erin had noticed them walking in from the back of the room and had made her way across to them.

“Hello” Erin smiled as she approached them and looked at the mass of people staring down at the baby. “Charlie, you know there’s only supposed to be two people here at one time”

“Sorry” Charlie said “Ehm...” She paused as she turned her head and looked at her family.

“I’ll go just now” Morag said “I can take the kids away again if you want me too”

“No Granny” Ava moaned “I want to stay and see my sister properly”

“I’ll come with you Granny” Ben said as he took a few steps forward and took her hand.

“Yeah. I’ll leave too” Ruby said “He’s needing a nap” Ruby said as she looked down to her son who was starting to wriggle in her arms. Charlie smiled as Ruby looked down at the incubator quickly and blew a little kiss to her new baby sister. “Bye baby, I’ll be back to see you soon” Ruby said before she along with Morag and Ben left the room, leaving Charlie, Angelo and Ava standing there.

“That looks a bit better. I’ll turn a blind eye to this one” Erin smiled as she looked down to Ava.

“Ehm are you my sister’s nurse?” Ava asked as she looked up at Erin.

“I am indeed” Erin smiled

“So you’ll make sure she gets better?” Ava asked

“I’m going to try my very best” Erin said and Ava smiled.

“Well ehm, I’ve got this teddy for her” Ava said as she showed it to Erin.

“Oh that’s a nice one” Erin smiled

“Can you put it in the incubator for her?” Ava asked and Erin shook her head.

“Sorry sweetie, but we can’t put soft toys into the incubator” Erin said

“How not?” Ava asked, looking both confused and upset with Erin’s response.

“For infection control” Erin answered

Ava pulled a face not understanding her “What does that mean?”

“So the baby doesn’t get an infection” Erin said “Inside the incubator it can be humid and warm, and that could lead to the teddy growing bacteria which wouldn’t be good for the baby”

“Well we don’t want that to happen” Ava said “Can we put it somewhere else?”

“Of course we can” Erin smiled as she took the teddy from Ava. “We can sit it right here” Erin placed the teddy on top of the incubator and Ava smiled.

"Oh you haven’t told me her name yet" Ava screeched "What it is?"

"She doesn’t have a name yet" Charlie said and Ava pulled a face.

"So, it’s still Peanut for now?" Ava asked

"Yeah, I guess so" Angelo laughed as he rested his hands against his daughter’s shoulders.

“Peanut?” Erin questioned, confused.

“Her nickname” Ava smiled “Because when Mum was pregnant she ate lots of peanut butter”

“Oh” Erin laughed lightly “Very appropriate nickname then”

“Yes” Ava smiled “Ehm, Nurse Erin” Ava said as she gave her a questioning look. “What are all these tubes and wires and machines for?”

“Well” Erin said as she looked down at Ava “You see this one here” Erin pointed to a thin looking tube that went into the baby’s mouth“ This is an feeding tube, so your sister can get food and put on weight to grow strong” Erin said and Ava nodded, interested.

“What’s the big thing that’s over her mouth and nose?” Ava asked as she pointed to the mask.

“That’s called a CPAP” Erin said “It helps the baby to breath”

“You know what, Ava” Charlie said as she broke her gaze from the baby and looked at her daughter. “When you were a baby, you were in an incubator like this too”

“Was I?” Ava said “Did I have all the same things as Peanut?”

“Yeah” Charlie nodded

“So she looks like me and we were both the same here” Ava smiled “She’s going to be like me then”

“Oh no, not another Ava” Angelo said teasingly and Ava pulled a face at her father.

“Better than another Ben cos he likes boring stuff” Ava said and Angelo laughed. “So, Mum, was I born early like Peanut?”

“Not as early, no” Charlie shook her head “But you were still early”

“Oh. And how long did I have to stay in here for?” Ava asked

“Five weeks” Charlie answered and Ava’s eyes widened.

“Oh that’s a long time” Ava said “Nurse Erin will Peanut be as long as five weeks?”

Erin exhaled as she lightly shrugged her shoulders “We don’t know how long she is going to be just now”

“Oh okay” Ava said “Oh please am I allowed to hold her please” Ava asked excitedly

“Sorry sweetie, she can’t be held just yet, she needs to stay in there till she gets a little stronger” Erin said and Ava’s face saddened. Erin looked at the time before exhaling lightly. “Excuse me, I need to go and do my rounds” Erin said and Charlie smiled at her, before she left the room.

“Right” Angelo said “It’s probably about time that we left too. Give Mum and Peanut a little bit peace”

“Aww no Dad” Ava moaned “I want to stay longer, please”

“We’ll come back again after dinner” Angelo said but Ava shook her head.

“Go on Ava” Charlie said “I want to go for a little sleep. I’m so tired”

Ava exhaled lightly “Okay but can I bring in another teddy for her so she’s not so lonely?”

“Yeah, you can bring another one” Charlie smiled as she ran her hand through her daughter’s hair.

“See you later then” Ava smiled “Bye bye Peanut” Ava said as she looked to her sister before giving her mother a hug before she left the room.

“Go have a rest, get something to eat and I’ll be back to see you later okay” Angelo smiled as he lightly rubbed Charlie’s hand.

“Yeah, I just want 5 minutes alone with her” Charlie said as she looked down to the baby and Angelo nodded understandingly.

“Okay, see you later” Angelo smiled before placing a kiss on Charlie’s forehead.

“Yeah” Charlie said as she watched Angelo walk out of the room before turning her head back to look at the baby. She placed her hand onto the top of the incubator and exhaled lightly. “I’m so sorry baby” Charlie whispered as a lone tear rolled down her cheek.

[Danni02]

Thank you so much for the lovely comments. I hope you like this next one.

Chapter 78

Charlie, Angelo and Ruby were sitting in the hospital canteen having their lunch, after spending the morning with the baby. Ava and Ben were now back at school and were going to be brought to the hospital by Morag when Ava’s class got out, later that day. Callum was spending the morning with Nicole and Jessica, after Nicole had offered to look after him to make it easier for Ruby to be at the hospital and support her parents and visit her baby sister. “So” Ruby said as she placed her glass of juice back down on the table. “Isn’t it about time you got a name for this child? Because quite frankly I think it’s pretty cruel that this kid is 3 days old and you haven’t given her an identity yet”

“Well I want to find the perfect name for her and so far all the names that have been suggested just don’t fit” Charlie said as she moved her fork around the plate, playing with her food.

“I have a suggestion” Angelo said as he looked up at Charlie. “Did you ever meet my great Aunt Antonia?” Angelo asked and Charlie thought for a moment before shaking her head.

“No, but I remember you went on about her a bit when we first started dating. Why?” Charlie asked

“Well I thought maybe it would be nice to name the baby after someone who meant a lot to us, or one of us. Aunt Antonia treated me like a son” Angelo said “And Paulie too, she was like a second mother to us when we were growing up. I really looked up to her and she was a great person, so loving and kind, and I think it would be nice if we honoured her by naming the baby after her” Angelo smiled hopefully as he watched Charlie, waiting for a reaction.

“You want to call the baby Antonia?” Charlie said and Angelo nodded.

“Yeah. What do you think?” Charlie looked to Angelo and smiled lightly as she saw the look on his face. She could see how much it would mean to him if this baby was called Antonia.

“Sure” Charlie forced a smile “Antonia it is”

“Antonia Rosetta” Angelo tested out “I love it”

“I’m pretty tired” Charlie said as she yawned “I’ve hardly slept at all in this place. Would you mind if I went for a lie down?”

“No of course not” Angelo said before drinking the last of his coffee. “I’ll go see Antonia” Angelo said as he stood up, a big grin on his face. Charlie smiled lightly as she watched Angelo walk out of the canteen.

“If you don’t tell him I will” Ruby said as she watched Charlie stand up.

“Tell him what?” Charlie asked as she looked down at her daughter.

“That you hate the name” Ruby said. Charlie exhaled lightly as she sat back down.

“I don’t hate it” Charlie said

“C’mon Mum, I saw the look on your face when he suggested it. You hate it” Ruby said.

“I don’t hate it” Charlie sighed “I just don’t like it either”

“So then why after going on about having the perfect name for her do you agree to one you don’t like?”

“Because I could see how much it meant to Angelo for her to be called Antonia” Charlie said “It’ll grow on me. I’ll get used to it”

“You don’t have to get used to it” Ruby raised her voice “Tell him you don’t like it and pick out a name together that’s right. I don’t get how you can give your child a name you don’t want to give her”

“You wanted to call Callum Ryan but because Xavier wanted Callum you called him Callum. It’s the same thing” Charlie said “Angelo wants the name Antonia because it’s special to him, so that’s her name”

“But Mum it’s not the same. I still liked the name Callum. You don’t even like the name Antonia”

“Ruby” Charlie sighed as she rubbed her forehead “I’m not going to argue with you over this. Now I’m going to go for a lie down” Charlie said as she stood up.

“Okay fine” Ruby sighed as she also stood from the table. “I’ll go and see Antonia” Ruby said watching Charlie’s face as she said the name.

“Good” Charlie said before she started to walk away.

“Oh and Mum” Ruby shouted causing Charlie to stop walking and turn back around to face her daughter. “Try to work on not screwing your face up every time someone says your daughter’s name” Charlie shook her head lightly before she turned and walked out of the canteen and back to her room.

****

Ruby walked into the NICU to find Angelo standing by the incubator staring down at the baby. As Angelo caught sight of Ruby he turned his head away from her and brought his hand up to his face and wiped away the tear that he didn’t want Ruby to see. “You know, you don’t have to show your strong all the time” Ruby said softly as she placed one hand to the top of the incubator and looked up to Angelo.

“I do” Angelo said his voice almost breaking with the tears that desperately wanted to escape him. “I need to be strong for Charlie because I need to support her through this, and if I can’t hold myself together, I’m never going to be able to help Charlie”

“Angelo” Ruby exhaled lightly “You can’t just bottle everything up inside you. You need to show your feelings too. Cry about this if you want too, let your emotions out because you need support and help as well, not just Mum” Ruby said “If you lock away your feelings you’re not going to be any use to Mum, or for Antonia” As Ruby spoke she placed a comforting hand onto Angelo’s arm. He smiled lightly at Ruby words before letting a tear escape his eye.

“You know Charlie blames herself for this and I keep telling her it wasn’t her fault, this couldn’t be helped, but thinking about it, it’s my fault Rubes. If I never cheated on your mother I don’t think this would have happened....”

“Angelo, no” Ruby interrupted “This wasn’t anyone’s fault. Sometimes things like this....they just happen. Don’t blame yourself for this because you’re never going to be able to....”

“But if I didn’t sleep with Shelly then I wouldn’t have put all this stress onto your mother. This is what’s caused this Ruby, and if she doesn’t make it, it’s going to be all my fault” Angelo spoke with pure regret in his tone as he looked down at his daughter. “Look at her” Angelo said, another tear rolling down her cheek. “She’s so small and fragile looking and I just....I want to hold her and be assured that my mistakes aren’t going to take her away from us, but it’ll be weeks before I get the chance to hold my baby girl and we don’t know if she’s going to make it, we can’t be assured because even the doctors don’t know what’s going to happen to her, the not knowing, it’s killing me Rubes” As Ruby looked at Angelo, all she could see was devastation, remorse, sorrow. Feeling great sympathy for Angelo and unsure of what else she could say to make him feel any better she opened her arms out to him, offering him a hug. Angelo gladly accepted and fell into the hug, welcoming the much needed comfort his step-daughter was offering. After standing silently in the embrace for a few minutes, Angelo pulled back and cleared his throat as he wiped away the tears that stained his face. “She’s going to be okay you know, Antonia is. She’s going to make it. We have to believe that right? You know positive thinking, it’ll help get us through this” Ruby nodded lightly as she bit her lip.

“I’m sure she’ll be a fighter” Ruby said reassuringly.

“Little Antonia” Angelo smiled as he looked down to his daughter. “Our little fighter”

“About that....” Ruby said “Angelo, Mum doesn’t.....well she hates the name”

“What?” Angelo questioned “She doesn’t hate it. She wouldn’t have agreed to the name if she did”

“Believe me” Ruby said “She hates it” Just as Angelo was about to reply to Ruby, David – Antonia’s Doctor – walked into the room.

“Mr Rosetta” David said before giving him an empathetic smile before he looked down to Ruby.

“I’m going to go just now” Ruby said sensing her presence in the room may not be wanted. “Take Callum off Nicole’s hands. I’m sure she’s had enough of him by now. Tell Mum that I’ll come and see her again later”

“Sure” Angelo nodded as he watched Ruby walking towards the door “Oh and Rubes” Angelo paused as Ruby turned back around to face him “Thanks” Ruby smiled lightly at her step-dad before leaving him alone with the doctor.

****

Charlie walked into the NICU and over to Angelo, who was standing over the incubator looking down adoringly at his baby daughter. “Hey” Angelo smiled up at her. “Did you get some sleep?”

“A little bit” Charlie nodded “Where did Ruby go?”

“She went to get Callum from Nicole. Figured that she left him long enough” Angelo answered

“Has Morag showed up with the kids yet?” Charlie asked as she took note of the time.

“No they haven’t appeared yet” Angelo said “We did get a visit from the doctor though”

“Why did the doctor come in? Is something wrong?” Charlie asked in a panic.

“He took some more blood from her” Angelo said and Charlie’s eyes widened.

“Why? What’s wrong? Why does she need more blood tests? Why didn’t you come and wake me and tell me what was going on?” Charlie spoke quickly as her eyes began to fill with tears.

“Charlie” Angelo said calmly as he took hold of her arms to try to keep her calm “He just said it was for some routine testing. I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about”

“Angelo” Charlie raised her voice “Don’t keep stuff like that from me. I need to know everything that’s going on with her”

“I was telling you wasn’t I?” Angelo said

“Sorry” Charlie said “It’s just so hard Angelo, seeing her in there, having her getting all these tests done on her, her being on all these different meds, worrying every minute of every day if she going to be okay or if she going to get worse and she’s not going to make it…..”

“I know it’s hard” Angelo said as he gently rubbed Charlie’s arms “But we’ll get there. It’s going to be a tough few months but we’ll get through this” Angelo said as he pulled Charlie into a hug. Charlie rested her head against Angelo’s chest as a lone tear rolled down her cheek. “She’ll get through this” Angelo said lightly before placing a kiss onto Charlie’s head. Charlie tightened the grip she had on Angelo as the stood in the embrace. After standing in silence for a few minutes, Charlie pulled back as she wiped away the tear mark from her cheek.

“Angelo about the name…” Charlie made to speak

“I know” Angelo nodded “Ruby told me you hated it”

“I don’t hate it” Charlie said “I just…”

“She doesn’t look much like an Antonia anyways” Angelo said as he looked down at his daughter. “We can think of another name, together” Angelo said “One we both love”

“But you do love Antonia” Charlie said “It’s what you want Angelo, and I want you to be….”

“Yea, but you don’t and she deserves a name that is perfect for her” Angelo said “so we’ll get something else” Charlie nodded as she looked down to her daughter.

“I’ve got a suggestion” Charlie said as she looked back up to Angelo.

“Hmm” Angelo said as he tucked Charlie’s hair behind her ear. “What’s that’s?”

“Chloe” Charlie said

“Chloe” Angelo repeated with a smile on his face. “Chloe” Angelo said again as he looked down to the baby “I love it”

“Yeah?” Charlie questioned as she bit her lip.

“Chloe Rosetta” Angelo smiled “It’s perfect”

“No it’s not” Charlie said as she shook her head. Angelo sighed lightly as he looked down at Charlie.

“Charlie….”

“How about Chloe Antonia Rosetta” Charlie said and Angelo smiled as he heard his wife’s suggestion.

“Now that’s perfect” Angelo smiled before placing a kiss onto Charlie’s forehead. They looked down at their daughter and watched her silently as she lay there, her little chest moving up and down as she took each breath.

“Sorry to interrupt” A voice said from the direction of the door. Charlie and Angelo looked up to find David had walked into the room. “I’d like to talk to you about your daughter’s blood results” Charlie’s eyes widened and she started to breath more heavily, fearing the worst. Angelo put his hands onto her shoulders, offering her comfort. David looked down to Chloe for a moment before looking back at Charlie and Angelo as he lightly exhaled.

“Well what is it?” Angelo said his tone of voice showing desperation.

“Her red blood cell count is low” David said as he looked to the exhausted parents. His heart went out to them, he had seen this a thousand times before but it was always different with each new set of parents. He looked to the sheet that was attached to his clipboard before he looked to Charlie and then to Angelo, empathising with them as he began to speak once more “I’d like your permission to give her a blood transfusion” Charlie fell backwards leaning into Angelo as she heard the words. Angelo tightened his grip on Charlie as his heart started racing.

“Yeah of course” Angelo nodded “Just do whatever you need too” As Angelo spoke Charlie began yelling uncontrollably as she looked down at Chloe. David and Angelo turned their head’s and looked down at her to find she was convulsing.

“David” Charlie screamed “What’s wrong with her, what’s happening? Do something” Charlie looked up to David with a look of desperation. Her eyes showing a pleading look. David lightly pushed Charlie back as Angelo stood holding her, fear paralysing his whole body as he watched his daughter having a seizure, as he watched David tending to the baby, and as he hoped his daughter was going to be okay.

[Danni02]

Thank you so much Cally and Rach Loves H&A for commenting! Hope you like this next one.

Chapter 79

Charlie and Angelo sat outside the NICU as they waited on the results. David had given Chloe a head ultrasound following her seizure, and now all they could do was wait for some answers as to why it had happened and if there was anything wrong with their daughter. Feelings of fear, worry and guilt ran through Charlie’s mind as she held back yet more tears that wanted to be shed. She was clutching onto one of the many teddies that Ava had brought to the hospital, to decorate her sister’s area, which seemed to bring her some form of comfort. Angelo sat beside her, he too having the feelings of fear, worry and guilt. Sighing lightly he sat forward in the chair as he ran his hands through his hair. “Why it is taking them so long?” Angelo asked as he turned to face Charlie.

“They said they’d be around 1 hour. It’s only been 15 minutes” Charlie said monotonously as she kept her gaze on the wall straight in front of her.

“It seems like so much longer” Angelo said as he sat back in the chair, leaning his head against the wall.

“Of course it does. We’re waiting on results that could tell us our daughter has brain damage; time isn’t exactly going to fly by is it?” Charlie snapped.

“I know, sorry” Angelo said “I hate this Charlie, I hate....”

“You hate it?” Charlie questioned “Angelo how do you think I feel right now? I was supposed to be able to carry her and protect her and keep her safe and I couldn’t do that. I failed her Angelo and now because of me she could be.....what have I done to her?” Charlie cried

“Charlie, you’ve done nothing wrong, please.....” Angelo began to talk as he placed his hand on her shoulder.

“But I have” Charlie cried “It’s all my fault. I stressed so much when I was carrying her and that couldn’t have been good for her, then there was the crash and Rachel told me to take it easy, she told me to get plenty of rest but I didn’t listen and now look what’s happened” Charlie began crying uncontrollably as she fell into Angelo. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried.

“Charlie, you’re not to blame for this” Angelo said as he gently ran his hand through Charlie’s hair. “You’ve got to stop blaming yourself because this all happened because of me. If I never slept with Shelly or was more careful when I was driving....”

“No, Angelo because no matter what you did, you were not the one carrying her. She was my responsibility to take care of. I was supposed to look after myself and her to ensure she was healthy and I failed to do that so don’t try to take the blame for this when I know it was me” Charlie said through her tears as she pushed herself back up in the chair. Angelo exhaled lightly and was about to reply when he saw Ben running along the corridor with Ava and Morag not that far behind him.

“Mummy” Ben smiled as he put his hand onto Charlie’s knee. “I drawed you a picture”

“Wow, another one” Charlie said trying to compose herself as she wiped away the evidence of her tears from her face. Ben had taken to bringing Charlie a drawing every time he came to the hospital for a visit. “Aw it’s lovely Ben” Charlie forced a smile. “Thank you”

“Why are you sitting outside here?” Ava asked

“We need to wait to speak to the doctor” Angelo said, as he looked to his daughter.

“Why?” Ava asked. Morag looked to Angelo and Charlie and could immediately see that something wasn’t right. She gave them a sympathetic smile before placing her hand onto Ava’s shoulder.

“Who wants some ice-cream?” Morag asked, before Angelo had the chance to answer Ava.

“No, I want to go and see the baby” Ava said

“Why don’t you go with Granny just now, and then when you get back we’ll all go and see the baby together” Charlie said her voice almost showing the total devastation she was trying to hide from her children.

“Quickly then” Ava said. Charlie gave Morag a thankful smile before she watched her leading the children back down the corridor.

“You know” Angelo said causing Charlie to look round at him “We can blame ourselves for this till we are blue in face but it’s not going to change what’s happened. Let’s just leave it here and concentrate on getting through this together”

“Yeah” Charlie nodded lightly “No more blaming ourselves” Charlie leaned her head against Angelo’s chest as he wrapped his arm around her and they sat there in the comforting embrace, no one taking, just waiting for the doctor to appear with Chloe’s results. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity for Charlie and Angelo, David appeared before them with Chloe’s results. They both sat up straight in their seat, Charlie tightened the grip she had on the teddy and Angelo took her other hand into his and gently rubbed it, as they looked up to David. David looked down to the results before looking back at Charlie and Angelo once more. Exhaling lightly he prepared himself to tell them the news on their daughter. The time he had spent with them had allowed him to see the pain and anguish that had plagued them every time they looked at Chloe, and this is what made his job all the harder to do.

“Your daughter has suffered an Intraventricular hemorrhage” David said softly as he looked to Charlie then to Angelo. As Angelo heard the words he tightened his grip on Charlie’s hand.

“What...what does...” Angelo tried to talk but was unable to string a sentence together. He looked around to Charlie, who was sitting staring blankly in front of her, a tear rolling down her cheek. He looked back up to David with a questioning look.

“Bleeding on the brain” David said as he exhaled lightly. Charlie sat numb as she tried to take in what David was saying as once again Angelo tightened his grip on Charlie’s hand as he listened to David talking about their daughter. “Now there are four different grades of an IVH and looking here at your daughters scans it shows that she has suffered from a grade 2 bleed. This is when some blood is present in the ventricles, but not enough to enlarge them”

“So what....what happens now? How does it stop? Can it be fixed? Will she have any permanent damage?” Angelo started asking all the questions that where coming into his head as he felt his heart beating faster and faster.

“Fortunately, Chloe suffered from a grade 2 bleed, which is a very moderate bleed and there is usually no long-term damage and Chloe should most likely go on to develop normally”

“But, she could have damage?” Angelo questioned “I mean it’s possible?”

“Well....yes” David hesitantly answered “But as I said, it’s highly unlikely for Chloe to suffer any permanent damage giving the size of the bleed”

“But there can be something?” Charlie eventually spoke as she looked up to the doctor. “Please we just....we want to know”

David exhaled lightly as he looked at the broken parents. “Long-term effects usually develop if the child has suffered a grade 3 or 4 bleed. Hydrocephalus could develop, or the child could suffer from Cerebral Palsy, have severe leaning disabilities, or problems with vision or hearing, but like I said, it’s extremely unlikely that Chloe is going to develop anything as she didn’t suffer from a severe bleed”

Angelo nodded as he took the information in “Right, so what happens now? Will this happen again? Can it get worse? Does she get treatment?” Once again, all these question‘s ran through Angelo’s head.

“There are no treatments necessary” David said as he lightly shook his head “The bleeding will gradually stop and the vessels will heal by themselves. We will take another ultrasound in a few days time to check on her progress”

Charlie nodded lightly as she took in the news. “So is this what caused the seizure?” Charlie asked

“While IVH can cause seizures, normally only babies who suffer from a more severe IVH would have a seizure. I’d like to perform an EEG test on Chloe to see if we can find the cause of the seizure” As David looked down to the exhausted parents he felt extreme sympathy for them. It had been a hard 3 days with so many problems and complications thrown at them already. Charlie pursed her lips together as she nodded her head.

“Of course. You just have to do whatever needs to be done” Charlie answered her voice showing the eagerness to find out what was wrong with her poor baby, her face showing the fear and pain she was feeling.

David nodded as he gave her an empathetic smile. “I’ll get that arranged for as soon as possible then. And I’d like to perform that blood transfusion right away given the IVH”

“Ehm, yeah” Angelo said “Like we keep saying, just do whatever it is you need to do” David gave a small nod before he walked away from couple. Charlie turned to face Angelo as a tear rolled down her cheek. Not saying a word he opened his arms out to her and she fell into him, accepting the much wanted and much needed hug. Angelo wrapped his arms tightly around her as he placed a soft kiss on her head. Exhaling lightly he held his wife in his arms as he hoped the next news they received about their daughter would be something good.

*****

Charlie was sitting in the bed in the hospital when Rachel came in. “Hey, Charlie” Rachel smiled as sat down on the seat at the side of the bed.

“Hey, Rach, what’s up?” Charlie asked

“Oh I was just on a break and thought I would come up and see how you were doing” Rachel smiled “I see someone has been busy” Rachel laughed as she pointed to the wall behind Charlie’s bed and noticed that the board that was hanging there was covered with all the pictures that Ben had been drawing for her.

“Yea” Charlie laughed as she looked around. “Ben’s taken to bringing me a picture every time he comes to visit”

“Aww that’s sweet” Rachel said “I miss mines being that age. Harry’s just a sulky teenager who sits in his room on his computer all the time and Emily seems to be getting more and more grown up every day. They just grow up so fast”

“Tell me about it” Charlie said “I can’t believe Ruby is almost 24 and has a child of her own. In fact I can’t believe I have a 24 year old daughter, an 8 month old grandson, and a 3 day old daughter. It just seems strange”

"Strange how?" Rachel asked, confused

"Well, Cal will have an aunty younger than him. I've just.....I've always thought that aunties and uncles were supposed to be older than their nieces or nephews. Not the other way around. It just seems we have a very strange family set up, you know, the gap between me and Ruby, then Ruby and the baby, even the gap between Ruby and Ava. I guess it’s just our family” Charlie said and Rachel pulled a face.

“Right” Rachel said “So like the gap between me and Jack? He’s my stepson yet he’s what? 5 years younger than me. Or the gap between Jack and Lucas to Harry and Emily?” Rachel said “Charlie it doesn’t matter about things like that. You’re family is your family no matter what the set up”

“Ah I know” Charlie laughed lightly “Sometimes I just over think things” Charlie said and Rachel nodded in agreement before she caught sight of a photo sitting on the bedside table.

“Is this her?” Rachel asked as she picked up the photo. Charlie nodded lightly. “So have you got a name for her yet?” Rachel asked

“Chloe” Charlie smiled

“Chloe” Rachel repeated “It’s a lovely name. She looks a lot like Ava did when she a baby” Rachel smiled

“That’s what everyone’s been saying” Charlie said quietly.

“Looks like you’re going to get another mini-me there then” Rachel smiled and Charlie nodded lightly as she looked down.

“If she makes it” Charlie mumbled as she started to pull on her hospital ID bracelet. “Rach she’s been through so much already and she’s only 3 days old. I don’t know if I can cope with this much longer and being stuck in here...” Charlie shook her head as she trailed off “Why do I have to stay here for so long?”

“I guess it’s just to make sure you’re alright, and you have a preemie so you can feel closer to her here” Rachel answered “You can go home if you want, you could discharge yourself if you feel you don’t need to be here anymore”

“Might actually be worse. Leaving her here, going home and seeing the empty nursery. I don’t know how Angelo can do it. I don’t know how he is coping with any of this so well, he always seems so strong, at least he does in front of me. But me, I just break down all the time. I can’t stop crying about it” Charlie said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“You only gave birth 3 days ago, Charlie” Rachel said as she placed a comforting hand onto Charlie’s arm. “Your emotions are going to be all over the place and then on top of that she’s a preemie. It just adds even more feelings into the mix for you”

“I can’t cope with all this” Charlie sniffed “What can I do to stop feeling like this?” Charlie looked to Rachel and Rachel exhaled lightly as she saw the pleading looking in Charlie’s eyes as she waited for an answer.

“Talk about how you feel with Angelo, Ruby, Morag, I am here if you need to talk, you could talk with other Mum’s from the NICU, there’s a counsellor here for you if need be, you could write down how you’re feeling, but most importantly, just face those feeling. If you want to cry, cry, just let yourself express how your feeling and don’t bottle it up because that’s not going to help you cope at all” Charlie nodded lightly as she listened to Rachel words. She bit her lip before looking round at the photo of Chloe that was sitting on her bedside table.

“She’s just been through so much already and she’s going to have months more of this” Charlie said as she looked back down to Rachel.

“I know it’ll be hard for you to see her going though this, but she will get through this. Charlie, look at it this way, she is three days old and had test upon test done on her, and she's pulled through them. Even when you were still pregnant with her. Chloe is a strong little girl" Rachel said as she smiled reassuringly at Charlie. “She’ll pull though this, just like Ava did”

“Ava wasn’t as early as Chloe” Charlie said

“No maybe not, but she still fought to get strong and look at her now, you’d never know she was a preemie”

“I know” Charlie smiled lightly “But apart from breathing problems Ava was fine. Chloe’s only 3 days old and she’s had a blood transfusion, an IVH, an unexplained seizure....”

“Charlie” Rachel said as she placed her hand onto Charlie’s arm, causing Charlie to stop listing what Chloe had been through and to look up at Rachel "You were 29 weeks pregnant. Chloe is doing fantastically to say she was so early. Chloe is full of more surprises; she'll be home before you know it”

“She will” Charlie said confidently as she lightly nodded her head “I’ve just go to think positive, right?”

“Right” Rachel nodded. “Before you know it she’s going to be running around with Ava and Ben causing all sorts of trouble” Charlie laughed lightly before she bit her lip.

“Thanks Rach” Charlie smiled and Rachel gave her a reassuring smile back before exhaling lightly.

“So, are you going to let me go and see this little one?” Rachel asked and Charlie nodded lightly before she got herself out of the bed and walked with Rachel along to the NICU to see Chloe.

[Danni02]

Thank you so much Cally, Sabrina, Rach Loves H&A and Charis. I hope you like this next one.

Chapter 80

After spending the night hooked up to the EEG monitor and getting several more tests carried out on her, David was still no further forward in finding out why Chloe had had the seizure. Sighing lightly he looked up at the parents who were staring back at him, so eager to get the news that would explain why their daughter had had a seizure. “I’m sorry” David said “I know it must be frustrating for you that we can’t give you any answers but we can’t seem to find a cause that would explain why Chloe had a seizure”

“Nothing?” Charlie questioned “You’re telling us nothing. There must be something” Charlie said

“Charlie, sometimes babies have seizures and the cause can remain unknown” Erin said softly “It’s just sometimes what happens”

“Are you sure this wasn’t caused because of the IVH? You did say they can cause seizures” Angelo asked

David exhaled lightly as he exchanged looks with Erin. “I guess it’s possible, but like I said, you’re daughter did not suffer from a severe bleed so the chances of them being related incidents are pretty slim”

“So there’s nothing you can tell us?” Charlie asked “That’s it. We are just never going to know why it happened”

“I’m sorry Charlie” Erin said “We will keep a close eye on her for anymore signs, symptoms, see if she has anymore, but as of now it looks like it could just be an isolated event” Charlie exhaled lightly before she looked around to Angelo. As he saw the look on her face he wanted nothing more than to get an answer as to why this happened, and free her of the pain and worry she was so clearly feeling, but unfortunately that was something that they weren’t going to get.

“Charlie” Angelo said softly as she placed a comforting had on her side. “Maybe, it’s a good thing that they can’t find any reason why she would have this seizure. It’s better that they can’t find anything wrong with her, and not being able to give us an answer, than for us to be told that the reason she had a seizure was because she has some virus or infection or some really life threatening illness, is it not?”

Charlie exhaled lightly as she nodded her head “Well when you put it that way….”

“Let’s not let this get to us, yeah?” Angelo said as he moved Charlie’s hair from in front of her face. Charlie nodded lightly as she bit her lip. “You know, like they sometimes say no news is good news, right?” Angelo said as he looked up to Erin then to David.

“Yeah” Erin nodded “And you know Chloe is doing really well so far. To see what she’s been though in her first 3 days of life, and then looking down at her now, you’d never know. She’s doing great Charlie”

Charlie smiled slightly before looking down at her daughter. “I just want to hold her. I want to protect her from all this...all the prodding and poking....I just....I want it to stop” Charlie said, her voice sounding as though it was about to break with yet more tears that wanted to fall. Angelo wrapped his arm around Charlie, and she moved even closer to him, welcoming the comfort.

“I do too” Angelo said “I hate seeing her having to go through all this. But it’s just stuff that needs to be done to help her get through this”

“Angelo is right you know” David said “It’s all been done to benefit Chloe. But, you should be pleased to hear that for now at least, we don’t plan on carrying out anymore tests on your daughter. All that we hope for now is that she will get stronger” Charlie smiled as she listened to David’s words. “Anyway, I’ll leave you to it” David said before he left room. Erin smiled as she watched Charlie and Angelo – still stood in their embrace – staring down at their daughter.

“I wish I could stay and watch her all day” Angelo exhaled lightly “But I need to go and pick Ben up from nursery. Bye bye Chloe” Angelo cooed quietly as he looked down to his daughter. “Daddy will be back soon” Angelo then looked up to Charlie and smiled softly at her “I will see you later” Angelo said before he placed a soft kiss on Charlie’s forehead before leaving the room. Charlie sighed lightly as she looked back down at Chloe, watching her as her tiny chest moved up and down as she took each breath. Putting her hand onto the edge of the incubator she exhaled lightly as she looked up to Erin.

“You are sure that she’s okay?” Charlie said as she looked up to Erin. Erin exhaled lightly as she nodded her head.

“She’s looking a lot healthier today than she ever has” Erin answered as she looked down to Chloe. “She has so much more colour in her today. She’s doing great, Charlie. To say she was 29 weeks and started straight away on CPAP is amazing. I’m pretty sure if she stays as stable as she is today, that by Friday you will be able to hold her”

“Hold her” Charlie said as her eyes widened as she looked up to Erin, a mixture of excitement and apprehension present in her feelings.

“If she remains stable, I don’t see any reason why not” Erin smiled as she saw the look now present of Charlie’s face. It made a pleasant change from seeing her always looking so broken, panicked, fearful. “Have we ever spoken to you about Kangaroo care?” Erin asked and Charlie shook her head after a brief period of silence.

“No” Charlie said “What is it?”

“Its skin-to-skin contact between mother and baby” Erin started “With the close contact between Chloe and yourself, her breathing will be stimulated, as she feels your breathing and movements. It’s very beneficial not only for the baby but for you as a parent as well. It can help you to bond with Chloe, and help ease any anxieties you may have with caring for or handling you’re daughter. It also helps to increase milk production and breast feeding success” Erin said before taking a pause.

Charlie nodded lightly as she listened to Erin. “What about Chloe? Are there any more benefits for her?”

“The benefits for Chloe are numerous. It will help her develop a regular heart rate and breathing pattern. It will also reduce her periods of apnea and can increases oxygen in the blood, she could have a more rapid weight gain, brain development, give her longer period of alertness, it can even decrease her length of stay in the hospital” Erin said smiling.

“Right” Charlie said as she tried to take all the information Erin had thrown at her in. “So it’s very beneficial for Chloe”

“Oh yes” Erin nodded “And I’m pretty sure we can start this on Friday. And you’re husband can do it too” Erin smiled “It’s a nice way for a father to be able to bond with his child and feel more involved during her stay here”

“Friday” Charlie smiled softly “That’s 3 days away”

“Yeah, not so long” Erin said

“It’ll feel like a lifetime” Charlie said as she looked back down to Chloe. “But, I’m sure the wait will be worth it”

*****

Charlie was walking away from the NICU, making her way back to her room to get some rest, a smile plastered across her face as she thought about being able to hold Chloe for the first time. She was so swept up in her thoughts that she wasn’t paying attention to where she was walking, and she found herself walking into someone. “Oh sorry” Charlie said as she looked up but was then overcome with disgust to find it was Shelly standing next to her.

“Charlie” Shelly said “How are you doing? No Angelo today? Shame, I would have liked to have seen him” Shelly’s smile grew larger as she saw the look on Charlie’s face.

“Really?” Charlie questioned “You are going to do this now, when our daughter is in the NICU fighting for her life, you’re going to do this?”

“What can I say, I like the guy, and you owe me” Shelly smirked

“I owe you? What exactly do I owe you, Shelly? You’ve made my life hell ever since you slept with my husband” Charlie said “I just, I don’t understand why you are so set out to make my life hell” Charlie exhaled lightly as she sat down on one of the chairs that were in the corridor before running her hands through her hair.

“I told you” Shelly laughed “You took Grant from me, so it’s only fair I get to take Angelo from you”

“What’s wrong with you?” Charlie spat “You’re in your late 30’s and you’re a nurse for crying out loud. You shouldn’t be acting like this, like you are some jealous teenager”

“That’s exactly what I am” Shelly said as she sat down next to Charlie and exhaled lightly “I am jealous of you. I saw you that day with Angelo and your kid and I was jealous. I want so much to find someone to love me like Angelo loves you. I want to be a parent, but I’m probably never going to get that now. You have it all Charlie, the nice house, the loving husband, the kids, and I don’t have any of that. When I saw you here that night, even after all this time, I remembered how I felt when you took Grant from me and I wanted to get back at you” Charlie looked round to Shelly, somewhat in shock at the response she had been given.

“But 24 years later?” Charlie questioned “Shelly we were practically still kids when I allegedly stole Grant from you. I mean doing something back then I would understand but all those years later when really it should be well and truly in the past and not even an issue anymore?”

“Well I would have but not long after you started dating Grant you left for like over a year then when you came back you were all weird and people didn’t really want to be your friend or have anything to do with you” Shelly said

“Yeah well I wish I never left” Charlie said as she bowed her head down “Believe me Shelly you have no idea how lucky you are that you didn’t get involved with Grant”

“What’s that’s supposed to mean?” Shelly asked

“Nothing” Charlie said, sighing lightly.

“There must be something. It’s not the first time you’ve said that to me”

“Grant just wasn’t a nice guy” Charlie said exhaling lightly. “I mean don’t get me wrong, he gave me Ruby but....” Charlie paused realising she said something she shouldn’t have.

“Grant is Ruby’s father” Shelly said, slightly shocked. “That’s why you left. You got pregnant” Charlie nodded lightly as she bit her lip. “So he’s not a nice guy cos he knocked you up then left you alone, took no responsibility? That right?” Shelly said.

“Yeah. That’s why” Charlie said trying to make it sound convincing, but the look on her face and the change in Charlie’s behaviour told her otherwise.

“Oh Charlie” Shelly said “I’m sorry” Shelly placed her hand tentatively onto Charlie’s shoulder, as Charlie looked to her confused. “That look, your behaviour, Charlie, I’ve seen that before, I’ve worked with ra......” Shelly trailed off not wanting to say the word. “victims” Shelly added.

“So now you feel sorry for me” Charlie said as she lightly shook her head. “I don’t want or need your sympathy” Charlie shrugged her shoulder back causing Shelly to move her hand.

“Charlie, I’m... I took this too far” Shelly said

“You think?” Charlie questioned “You’ve ruined my marriage Shelly, what you’ve done; you’ve not just got back at me but my kids, all the hurt they went through when we were separated...and now, I’m trying to make my marriage work but I don’t know if I can get past this and it’s never going to be the same now Shelly, every time I look at Angelo I wonder if he’s going to hurt me again and I’m always wondering if you’re going to show up and cause more trouble for me and my family”

“Charlie, I won’t” Shelly said “I see what I’ve done....I was wrong, and I won’t do anything else. And as for Angelo, don’t blame him too much for this. I did most of the chasing. He didn’t even want to talk to me at first, but I persisted and well I guess it paid off for me. I was the one who made the first move, you know, I was the one who planted the first kiss on him, I initiated it. I wanted it a lot more than he did. And if it’s any consolation, he didn’t seem that into it”

“Still didn’t stop him doing it though” Charlie said sadly “He’d made a choice and....”

“He made a mistake Charlie” Shelly said “And you have every right to feel how you do, but Angelo, he....the way he looks at you Charlie, I would love for a guy to look at me like that. Charlie you are everything to him. It was just a moment of madness....I don’t believe he would do something like that to you again”

Charlie exhaled lightly as she wiped away a lone tear that had escaped her eye. "You don’t believe?" Charlie repeated, looking back up at Shelly.

"Okay, I know Angelo won’t do something like that to you again" Shelly reworded "Do you really think he would had done what he did if he wasn't drunk?" Charlie sat in silence for a moment before she shook her head "Well there you go" Shelly smiled before she stood up and started to walk away. “Oh and for what it’s worth, Charlie, I am sorry”

[Danni02]

Thank you so much Cally, Charis and Rach Loves H&A! Also, thanks again Cally! Sure you know why!

Chapter 81

Charlie was sitting in bed, as she tried to read a magazine, but wasn’t able to focus as her mind kept wondering from the news that she would be able to hold her daughter soon and to the conversation she had had with Shelly. She couldn’t believe Shelly had actually apologised and she couldn’t believe how differently she felt about the situation having had an apology from Shelly. It was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she breathed a sigh of relief at feeling, for the first time, in a long time, hopeful that her marriage was going to get back to what it once was. She was interrupted from her thoughts when Angelo appeared into her room. She smiled at him as he walked over to her with a fresh bunch of flowers in his hands. “Hey” Angelo smiled as he placed a kiss on her cheek. Charlie put the magazine down on the bed and smiled at her husband.

“Hey” Charlie said as Angelo handed her the bunch of flowers “Aww, you finally brought me some flowers” Charlie grinned cheekily as she looked up at Angelo who laughed lightly at Charlie’s response as he rummaged around in the bed side cabinet, looking for a vase.

“Sorry” Angelo said as he took the vase out from the shelf. “These first few days, my minds been all over the place with....”

“It’s okay...I know” Charlie interrupted before she looked back down at the flowers. “Thank you, they’re lovely” Angelo smiled as he walked over to Charlie’s bathroom and filled the vase up with water before walking back across the room and placing the vase on top of the bed side cabinet and then arranged the flowers into it. “So, where’s Ben?” Charlie asked as she watched Angelo take a seat next to her bed.

“He’s with Morag back at the house. He was sick when I brought him home from nursery, got a bit of a temperate too, so I thought it was best to leave him at home” Angelo said

“Ohh…poor baby” Charlie said

“He wanted a hug from his Mummy” Angelo said “He wasn’t happy that he couldn’t get one”

“Oh, well thanks for making me feel guilty that I can’t be there for him” Charlie said sadly as she bowed her head down.

“Hey, Charlie” Angelo said as he placed his hand onto her shoulder. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that”

“I know” Charlie exhaled lightly as she looked back up at Angelo. “But I miss being around the kids as much, and now Ben is sick and I can’t be there for him”

“It’s probably just some 24 hour bug” Angelo said and Charlie nodded lightly “Have they not said when you can go home yet?”

“Nope they’ve not said anything” Charlie said. “But Erin did say that we could maybe hold Chloe on Friday” Charlie smiled as she grabbed excitedly onto Angelo’s arm.

“We can hold her?” Angelo repeated as a grin swept across his face. Charlie nodded as she too had a huge grin plastered across her face.

“Yeah…Oh I can’t wait Angelo, to finally get a proper hold of her…”

“I know. It’ll be great” Angelo smiled before silence hit them briefly. “What else is there?” Angelo asked and Charlie pulled a face in confusion as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “C’mon Charlie, I can see there is something? Is it about Chloe?” Angelo asked as he took her hand into his and rubbed it gently.

Charlie shook her head as she exhaled lightly “No, Angelo it’s....I’ve been thinking about us, our situation....our marriage....”

“Charlie” Angelo sighed lightly “We don’t need to talk about this right now. We’ve got Chloe’s progress to concentrate on right now”

“That’s exactly why we need to talk about us” Charlie spoke with a raised voice. “We need to talk and know what’s happening between us so we can solely concentrate on Chloe”

“Okay” Angelo said as he lightly nodded his head. He took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for the conversation that Charlie wanted to have.

“Angelo” Charlie began “I love you, that’s.......I know that for sure, but I can’t stop thinking about what you did...” Charlie paused as she felt herself welling up. Angelo sat forward in the chair and tightened his grip on Charlie’s hand. “I want to stay with you, leaving you....us breaking up...” Charlie shook her head “It’s not an option”

“Charlie” Angelo started

“No, Angelo please let me finish” Charlie said as she held her hand up. “You, the kids, that’s all that matters to me. Our future, whatever that may bring, it’s what I am going to concentrate on, and look forward to, and put what happened in the past and leave it there, it’s time to move on from this. Dwelling on it, it’s not doing me or us any good and after running into Shelly this morning...”

“Shelly” Angelo shouted “What has she done now?” Angelo asked anger present in his tone of voice.

“Nothing” Charlie said “At least, nothing bad. We talked about what happened and if anything she helped me to realise what we have and that I’d be a fool to throw it away over one very stupid mistake that you’d made”

“It was a stupid mistake Charlie, a really stupid one, and I cannot regret more what I did to you and believe me, I’ll never forget how much I’ve hurt you and betrayed your trust....”

“Angelo” Charlie shook her head lightly “I know...I know” Charlie smiled “But, from today onwards, what happened, it’s staying in our past and we will concentrate on our future” Charlie said as she placed her hand on top of Angelo and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Yup” Angelo nodded “I love you so much Charlie” Angelo smiled as he cupped his hand gently around the back of Charlie’s head.

“I love you too” Charlie smiled before Angelo leaned forward and placed a soft kiss onto Charlie’s lips. Charlie pulled back as she exhaled lightly “God” Charlie said as she wiped away a tear that had rolled down her cheek “I can’t stop crying these days”

“Hey, c’mon” Angelo said as he lightly rubbed her arm “You’re going through a hard time right now, Chloe’s has a rough few days, it’s alright that you feel like this”

“But Chloe’s your daughter too and you seem to be handling this so much better than me” As Charlie spoke more tears rolled down her cheeks “You always seem so strong and...”

“But I’m not the one who’s just given birth” Angelo said “Charlie, you only had her 4 days ago. I’m pretty sure all your emotions are still going to be out of whack. It’ll take time for them to sort themselves out, especially since you’re trying to cope with this”

“Trying being the operative word” Charlie said as she looked up to Angelo as she pulled at her ID bracelet.

“Hey” Angelo said as he placed his hand on top of Charlie’s, stopping her from pulling at her bracelet.

“How can you do it, Angelo?” Charlie asked as she looked at Angelo with a questioning look in her eyes.

Angelo exhaled lightly as he gently rubbed Charlie’s hand. “One of the things that keep me going is looking at Ava now” Angelo said and Charlie pulled a face in slight confusion. “She was early too, and looking at her now, seeing how well she is, it gives me strength to believe Chloe will get through it too”

“You’d think I’d be the one thinking like that” Charlie said “I was here with Ava, I went through it all, you didn’t. This is all new to you, yet I am the one who can’t seem to cope with it. I mean....I look at Chloe, and I just always think the worst. I can’t seem to think anything but bad thoughts”

“I know it’s hard but just don’t try to think about bad thoughts” Angelo said “We need to stay optimistic. Think about the first time we are going to get to hold her, how great will that feel?”

“It’ll be amazing” Charlie smiled

“Yeah” Angelo grinned “We just have to stay strong for Chloe” Angelo said “She needs us to be strong for her” Charlie nodded lightly as she listened to Angelo’s words. “And you know, going through this with you, you are the one who is keeping me strong too”

Charlie looked to Angelo, confused “I seriously doubt that” Charlie said “All I do is cry and worry and lean on you for support”

“Exactly” Angelo smiled “And every time I comfort you, every time I pull you in for a hug or squeeze your hand, I’m getting that exact same comfort back with your touch” Angelo leaned forward as he placed a soft kiss onto Charlie’s lips. “Just like that” Charlie smiled lightly at Angelo. “We’ll get through this together Charlie, we just have to make sure we always talk about how we feel and be there for each other” Angelo said as he lightly rubbed Charlie’s arm.

“Yeah, we do” Charlie smiled “We just have to keep talking” Charlie smiled before leaned forward and pulled Angelo into a hug.

*****

Charlie and Angelo were making their way along to the NICU. It was now Friday and the day that they would be holding their daughter for the first time. Charlie quickened her pace as she got closer to the door and burst through it, so eager to hold her baby girl. “Hey” Charlie grinned as she saw Erin tending to her daughter. “Is she okay?” Charlie asked feeling slightly panicked.

“Yeah, she’s great” Erin smiled as she turned to face Charlie.

“So can we hold her today?” Charlie asked as she clasped her hands together in anticipation.

“You can hold her” Erin smiled and Charlie grinned as she tuned to face Angelo. He smiled at her as she grabbed his arm in excitement. “I guess Mummy wants to go first” Erin smiled as she opened the side of the incubator down. Charlie gave Angelo a look and Angelo nodded.

“Of course” Angelo smiled to Charlie “You can go first” Charlie sat down on the chair beside the incubator, and upon instruction from Erin, removed her top, as Erin gently lifted Chloe out of the incubator, with another nurse carefully handling all the tubes and wires attached to the baby. Erin gently placed Chloe in an upright position onto Charlie’s chest, as the second nurse carefully lay the tubes and wires over Charlie’s shoulder, before placing a small amount of tape over them to keep them in place. Erin placed a blanket over the baby and smiled as she saw a lone tear roll down Charlie’s cheek as she looked down at her baby daughter lying comfortably in her arms.

“Hey baby” Charlie smiled as she looked down to her daughter, a second tear rolling down her cheek. “Oh Angelo” Charlie said as she looked up at him, as he clicked the camera, to capture a picture of this special moment. “This feels so....” Charlie paused as she lightly shook her head unable to find a word for how she felt at the exact moment. Angelo smiled at Charlie as he saw the look of pure joy on Charlie’s face. “How long can I hold her for?” Charlie asked as her gaze went back to her daughter, before giving Erin a glance, before settling her eyes onto Chloe.

“For just now she can be held for 30 minutes” Erin answered. “So Mummy and Daddy can do fifteen minutes each” Erin smiled as she looked up at Angelo. “But, once she gets stronger, we can increase the time and it can be for hours if you wanted. Close contact with you will really benefit her” Charlie smiled as she listened to Erin’s words but she kept her gaze firmly on her daughter who had fallen asleep in her arms.

“I don’t want this time to ever end” Charlie grinned, still not moving her gaze from her baby girl. Angelo smiled down at his wife, as he took another picture of her looking at her daughter, the biggest grin Angelo had ever seen plastered across her face. After sitting for some time with her daughter in her arms Charlie finally took her gaze off her baby and looked up to Erin “How long has it been?” Charlie asked

“You’ve had 15 minutes” Erin said “So if Daddy wants a hold?” Erin questioned as she looked up to Angelo. He looked down at his daughter as she slept peacefully in his wife’s arms.

“No” Angelo shook his head. “She happy lying there, and she looks so comfy, I don’t want to upset her”

“You won’t upset her” Erin answered “We’ll move her very carefully she probably won’t even wake up”

“No, no. It’s fine” Angelo said “Just let Charlie have this time with her, I will wait until tomorrow”

“Angelo?” Charlie questioned “What’s wrong?”

“She just looks comfy there. I don’t want to unsettle her, and you look so happy” Angelo replied

“Angelo” Charlie exhaled lightly “This time I have had with her has been great, but now it’s your turn, you should be bonding with her too” Angelo exhaled lightly as he looked down to his daughter.

“Okay” Angelo smiled

“So, if you want to sit down and unbutton your shirt” Erin said as she looked to Angelo, while pointing at the seat next to where Charlie was sitting. Angelo nodded as he took a deep breath, before he unbuttoned his shirt and took a seat. He watched as Erin and the other nurse carefully lifted Chloe and the tubes and wires from Charlie, and moved her closer towards Angelo.

“No, sorry, I can’t” Angelo said as he stood up from the chair and walked quickly out of the room. Charlie pulled a face in confusion as she put her top back on, before standing up and walking out of the room after Angelo. She found him in the corridor sitting on the chair with his head in his hands.

“Hey, what was all that about in there?” Charlie asked as she put her hand onto Angelo’s shoulder. Angelo looked up to Charlie as he shook his head.

“I can’t Charlie. I can’t hold her”

“What” Charlie said sounding slightly surprised. “Angelo...what....why?” Charlie asked as she took a seat next to him, and placed her hand once again on his shoulder.

“I just can’t Charlie” Angelo said as he shook his head “She’s just so small and fragile.....I don’t want to break her”

“You’re not going to break her Angelo” Charlie said lightly as she rubbed his shoulder.

“But she’s so small. The last baby I held was like 3 times her birth weight” Angelo said

“But Cal was full-term. Chloe was 10 weeks early” Charlie said

“Exactly” Angelo said “She’s so small and vulnerable and I don’t want to hurt her. What if she’s not ready to be handled?” Angelo asked as he looked up at Charlie.

“If she wasn’t ready to be held then Erin wouldn’t be letting us do this” Charlie answered “C’mon Angelo, she’ll be fine”

“How can you be so sure?" Angelo asked

"Erin told me what the benefits are, not only for Chloe but for you and me also. Angelo, if we don’t do this now, then, we'll stuff everything up. We have to do this. I know how small and delicate she is, but you were so excited to meet her, you've been dying to hold her and to talk to her, do it now, whilst we can, whilst we are able to get that bond started" Charlie said as she placed her hand on his arm and gave it a gently squeeze.

“What kind of benefits?” Angelo asked

“It can help speed up Chloe’s progress, Angelo the benefits for her are numerous. And for us, its helps us get that bond started, and you’ll learn to feel comfortable in handling her. There’s so much Angelo”

“So this care, it really helps Chloe’s development?” Angelo asked

“Yeah” Charlie nodded “Please, just, don’t be scared Angelo, she’ll be fine and she needs a hug from her Daddy”

Angelo took a deep breath before he stood up and looked down at Charlie. “You coming back in?”

“Yeah” Charlie nodded as she stood up. Angelo smiled at her before he brought her into a hug. “What’s this for?” Charlie asked as she pulled back.

“Thank you” Angelo smiled before he walked back into the NICU. Charlie smiled as she followed him back in. He sat down on the seat and looked up at Erin, who was standing by the incubator, having placed Chloe back into it, after Angelo had left. “I’m sorry about that” Angelo said “Just a little bit nervous, she is so small” Angelo said

“It’s okay” Erin smiled. She’d see this before with many preemie parents. “Are you ready now?” Erin asked as she opened the side of the incubator and Angelo nodded. Erin and the other nurse carefully moved Chloe onto Angelo’s chest, once again, taping down the wires and tubes over his shoulder. Angelo smiled as he held his daughter in his arms as an overwhelming rush of emotions hit him.

“Gosh, your right Charlie....this is......it’s.....its feels amazing” Angelo grinned as he looked up at his wife, as she took a photo of the precious moment of Angelo holding his daughter for the first time.

[Danni02]

Thanks so much Cally, Charis, Rach Loves H&A and Sabrina for the lovely comments. I hope you like this next one.

Chapter 82

Charlie and Angelo had been taken out of the NICU for a moment as David had arrived with the results of Chloe’s 3rd and what would hopefully be her final head ultrasound results. The second scan, done a couple of days before hand, had showed that the bleeding had reduced, and they were hoping this time that it had showed that the bleed had cleared. “So” David smiled softly as he looked up from his notes and to the couple. “Chloe’s results show that the bleed has completely cleared”

Angelo and Charlie both breathed a sigh of relief at the news. “That’s great” Angelo said and David smiled.

“So what about brain damage?” Charlie asked tentatively “Can you tell if she will have any damage or is a case of waiting?”

“As I have said before, babies who have had a small bleed usually do not have any long-term damage to the brain, or have any more problems than premature babies who have not had an IVH, but, we will be observing and evaluating Chloe for several years to check if the bleeding has hurt the brain” David said as he looked from Charlie to Angelo “If and I must stress, if a problem has developed, special therapy and education programs can begin and these programs will help to ensure that Chloe does her very best”

“Right, thank you David” Angelo smiled

“I need to go right now. So I’ll leave you too it, let you get back in to see your daughter” David smiled before he walked away from them.

“How can you look so calm?” Charlie asked as she turned to face Angelo. “We have to wait for years to find out if our little girl is brain damaged”

“There’s no point worrying ourselves about this now” Angelo said “And David seems pretty confident that she is going to be fine, so let’s just take it one day at a time and concentrate on how Chloe is doing for the time being” Charlie exhaled as she nodded her head.

“Your right. Let’s go and see her again” Charlie smiled as she turned around and made her way back in the room, with Angelo not that far behind her. She walked over to the incubator and smiled as she saw Ava looking adoringly down at her baby sister, with Erin standing next her. “Hey Av’s” Charlie smiled as she put her hand onto her daughter’s shoulder.

“Mum” Ava smiled as she looked up to Charlie. “Nurse Erin just gave Chloe a bath”

“Did she?” Charlie smiled and Ava nodded

“Well no, she didn’t put her in a bath she just wiped her gently with a wet cloth” Ava said

“If you want, you can give her her next bath” Erin smiled as she looked up to Charlie.

“Yeah, I’d love to” Charlie grinned “And thanks for watching Ava for us”

“Oh it’s not a problem” Erin smiled “She’s been keeping Chloe well informed about High School Musical”

“Oh yes that’s a firm favourite at the moment” Angelo said and Erin laughed lightly.

“Mum, I wanted to hold her but Nurse Erin said I wasn’t allowed” Ava said sadly as she stuck her bottom lip out.

“Yeah, we’ve talked about this with you sweetie” Charlie said as gave Ava’s hand a gently rub

“But you got to hold her yesterday” Ava said sadly

“I know, but its only Mummy and Daddy who can hold her right now, until she gets stronger” Charlie said and Ava sighed lightly.

“Hey” Erin said as she placed a hand onto Ava’s shoulder “If it’s okay with your Mummy and Daddy then how about you put your hand through this hole here and you can very gently give her a little touch”

“Oh can I please” Ava said as she looked to Charlie then to Angelo with an angelic smile, her big blue eyes giving them a pleading look.

“Fine by me” Angelo said as he looked to Charlie who was lightly nodding her head.

“You sure that Chloe will be okay with that?” Charlie asked as she looked to Erin.

“Yeah, fine” Erin smiled

“Go on then Av’s” Charlie said and Ava grinned before she looked up at Erin.

“Now, I don’t want you to move your hand to much on her” Erin said and Ava nodded as she bit her bottom lip, listening very carefully to what Erin was saying. “Cup you hand around her like this” Erin said as she demonstrated what she wanted Ava to do “And then keep it very still”

“Okay, I understand” Ava said before she stepped forward and slowly put her hand into the incubator. Just then a machine started to beep and Ava pulled her hand back in a panic.

“What was that” Angelo said in a panic as he watched Erin step forward and look down at Chloe for a moment before she placed her hand into the incubator and gently rubbed Chloe’s arm, stimulating her into taking a breath.

“I didn’t do anything. I didn’t even touch her” Ava cried as she hid behind Charlie, burying her head against her mother’s back.

“Hey, sweetheart” Charlie said softly as she bent down to her daughter level. “It’s okay, you didn’t do anything wrong” Charlie said as she gently lifted her daughters head up to face her.

“But what was it then?” Ava asked through her tears.

“It was your sister’s apnea monitor” Erin said

“What does that do?” Ava asked as Charlie wiped the tears from her daughters face, as Angelo stood, looking down at Chloe, watching for her chest to move with each breath.

“Babies that were born prematurely sometime forget to breath” Erin said

“So she didn’t breath right?” Ava asked and Erin shook her head.

“No, and this monitor sounds when she stops breathing so we can know, and then help her to remember that she needs to breath” Erin said as simply as she could so Ava could understand.

“Okay” Ava sniffed back more tears as she watched Erin writing down the apnea attack onto Chloe’s record sheet.

“How can you look so calm?” Angelo asked as he looked to Charlie.

“I’ve been here when it’s happened before” Charlie said as she looked to Angelo, who was still keeping his gaze firmly on Chloe’s chest for movement.

“I haven’t” Angelo said

“Me either” Ava cried “I didn’t like it. It was scary” Ava said as she grabbed onto Charlie.

“I know it is sweetie” Charlie said as she gently ran her hand through Ava’s hair. “But she’s okay now, look” Charlie said as she tried to get Ava to look at Chloe but Ava shook her head as she kept it pressed against Charlie’s stomach.

“No I don’t want to” Ava said “Can we just go just now” Charlie and Angelo exchanged a quick glance with each other before Charlie looked back down at her daughter.

“Sure, how about we go and get some lunch?” Charlie said and Ava nodded before she ran from the room.

“My best advice to you now would be not to push her into coming back in here. The NICU can be daunting enough for kids, so just let her come back when she feels ready” Erin said as she looked from Charlie to Angelo.

“Eh, yeah, right” Angelo nodded as he scratched his head. “Well, see you later” Angelo smiled and Erin gave him a smile back before he and Charlie left the room to find Ava sitting on a chair in the corridor. As she saw her parents she jumped up from the chair and started to make her along the corridor, walking as quickly as she could.

“Ava” Charlie said “Slow down sweetie”

“I just want to get out of here” Ava said as she turned to face her mother.

Charlie exhaled lightly as she caught up with her daughter and took her hand. “I know, and we are leaving” Charlie looked up to Angelo who lightly shrugged his shoulders as he looked at his daughter. As they were making their way along to the canteen, Charlie’s doctor stopped them in the corridor.

“Charlie, I was just coming to find you” He smiled “You’ll be pleased to hear that you are free to go home today”

“Mum you are coming home” Ava grinned, the news putting a smile on her face.

“I am” Charlie smiled before she bit her lip.

“You alright Charlie?” Angelo asked as he placed his hand on her shoulder.

“Eh, yeah fine” Charlie smiled “Just the thought of leaving here without Chloe” Angelo smiled understandingly at his wife.

“We don’t live that far away from here” Angelo said “It’s only a short drive. We can still spend lots of time here with Chloe”

“I know” Charlie smiled “But thinking about leaving here without her, it’s still hard Angelo”

“But she’s here to get better” Ava said “And you get to come home and be with me and Ben and Ruby and Callum and Dad”

“Yeah, I do” Charlie smiled as she pulled her daughter close for a hug.

“Well anyways Charlie” The doctor spoke again “I just have a few papers I want you to sign but after that you will be free to go, but I will come back to see you after you have had some lunch”

“Yeah, thank you” Charlie smiled as she watched the doctor walk away. She took a deep breath before they walked along to the canteen to get some lunch.

*****

“Mummy, your home” Ben shouted excitedly as he ran over to Charlie as she walked into the living room.

“Hey baby” Charlie smiled as she lifted her son into her arms. Ben wrapped his arms around her neck and gave her a big hug. “I missed you”

“Missed you too Mummy” Ben said as he pulled his head back. “Mummy, I’ve been sick for a few days and daddy didn’t let me come to the hospital to see you but I feel all better today”

“Aww, I’m glad you’re better” Charlie said and Ben nodded his head.

“Mum, hey” Ruby smiled slightly as she walked back into the room, having been putting Callum down for a nap. “I didn’t know you were coming home today”

“Yeah, the doctor just told this morning” Charlie said

“Oh okay” Ruby said before she sat down on the couch. Charlie looked to Ruby confused, before she put her son down and he ran off across the room back to his toys.

“You okay Rubes?” Charlie asked and Ruby nodded before she got up and walked out of the room. Charlie turned to face Angelo, the look of confusion still present on her face. “What’s wrong with her?” Charlie asked

“I don’t know” Angelo shrugged his shoulders “She’s been quiet for the past few days”

“Yeah, she wasn’t her normal self at the hospital yesterday” Charlie said as she rubbed her forehead. “I’ll go talk to her” Charlie said before she left the room and walked up the stairs after Ruby. “Hey, Rubes” Charlie said as she walked into Ruby’s bedroom. “Is everything alright?”

“Fine” Ruby said as she pulled some clothes out of her laundry basket. “I’m just going to put a wash on so....” Ruby trailed off as she walked out of her bedroom with a pile of clothes in her hand. Charlie sighed lightly as she watched her daughter walking down the hall, before she walked into her bedroom and threw her bag down on to the bed opened it, first revealing a photo frame with a picture of Chloe in it. Sitting down on the bed she looked down to the photo and hoped that it wouldn’t be long before her baby girl could come home. After sitting thinking about Chloe for a few minutes, Charlie looked up to find Ruby walking into her room.

“Hey” Charlie smiled as Ruby said down next to her. Ruby managed a weak smile back before she looked away from her mother. “Rubes, is everything alright?” Ruby shook her head lightly as she brought her hand up to her face and wiped across her eyes, as if trying to push back tears that wanted to fall. “Hey, Rubes, what is it?” Charlie asked as she wrapped her arm around her daughter.

Ruby looked up to Charlie as she took a deep breath “I’m late” Ruby said almost in a whisper.

“You’re late for.....aww Ruby” Charlie exhaled lightly as she realised what Ruby had meant.

“We only did it twice” Ruby cried “I know it only takes one time but.....” Ruby trailed off as a tear rolled down her cheek. “I don’t want to have his baby”

“Hey, we don’t know if that’s what it is yet. Maybe it’s a different reason” Charlie said softly as she gently rubbed Ruby’s back.

“Like what?” Ruby asked as she sniffed back more tears.

“Like.....stress” Charlie said “You’ve been through a lot lately, maybe that’s why”

Ruby shook he head as she listened to her mother “No, let’s just face it, I’m pregnant”

Charlie exhaled lightly as she ran her hand through Ruby’s hair. “We don’t know that for sure until you take a test” Ruby nodded lightly as she took another deep breath.

“I bought one” Ruby said “About 3 days ago. I just.....I don’t want to confirm it”

“You’re going to have to at one point” Charlie said softly.

“Will you wait with me?” Ruby asked as she looked up to her mother. Charlie looked into her daughter’s teary green eyes and nodded her head.

“Of course I will” Charlie smiled and Ruby exhaled heavily before she stood up and walked out of the room, returning moments later with the pregnancy test box in her hand.

“I just have to go” Ruby said as she looked across the room to the door which led into Charlie’s bathroom.

“Yeah, go on” Charlie said making a head gesture for Ruby to use the bathroom. “Shout me through when you are ready” Ruby smiled nervously at her mother before disappearing into the bathroom. Charlie ran her hands though her hair as she waited for Ruby to call her. She bit he lip as she hoped that there could be another reason as to why Ruby was late, and hoped for her daughter’s sake that she wasn’t pregnant.

“Mum” Ruby called out and Charlie took a deep breath before she walked into her bathroom and found Ruby sitting on the edge of the bathtub, the test sitting on the edge of sink. She walked across the room and sat down next to Ruby, placing an arm around her. Ruby smiled up at her mother before biting her lip and shaking her head lightly. “I’m not ready for another baby” Ruby said “Cal’s only 8 months old, I can’t be having another baby already. I just want to spend time with him, the two of us, me and Cal”

“You’ll have the next 9 months to spend with just you and Cal”

“I don’t want this, Mum” Ruby shook her head “I can’t have another baby. Think about the costs. I’m hardly supporting myself financially, let alone Cal, never mind a second child”

“Well you should have thought about that before you had unprotected sex” Charlie snapped

“Mum” Ruby yelled “How do you if know we didn’t use anything?”

“Well did you?” Charlie asked and Ruby shook her head as she looked away from Charlie. “Ruby how could you be so stupid?”

“Mum” Ruby cried “I could really do without a lecture right now”

“Well I suppose there’s really no point in thinking about that now” Charlie said

“Mum what do I do if I am pregnant?” Ruby asked a tear rolled down her cheek. Charlie exhaled lightly as she wiped the tears away from her daughter’s face.

“You have this baby” Charlie said softly

“I can’t have his baby” Ruby said “I hate him. How can I have his baby if I hate him? How can I love his child after what he did?” Ruby asked as she looked up to Charlie. Charlie looked into her daughters eyes, and could see the pleading look her daughter was giving her, so desperate on an answer.

“You’ll love this baby Ruby” Charlie said as she moved Ruby’s hair from in front of her face “I know that for sure. Because this is your baby too and you’ll love it because it’s a part of you, so no matter what he did, I don’t doubt that you will love this child”

Ruby sniffed back a tear as she listened to her mother’s words. She knew how Charlie could see that Ruby would love Jay’s baby no matter what he had done. She gave her mother a thankful smile before she looked down at her watch. “It’s time” Ruby said before she sat frozen to the spot. “I can’t look” Ruby said shaking her head “Can you do it? Please?” Charlie looked down at her daughter to find, once again, she had that pleading look in her eyes. Charlie nodded lightly before she stood up and took a few steps towards the sink. Taking a deep breath she looked down at the test.

It’s positive” Charlie said in a whisper although it was unintended.

Ruby shook her head lightly as she placed her hand onto her stomach. “Mum, I don’t….I….”

“Rubes, come here” Charlie said as she opened her arms out. Ruby stood up and fell into her mother’s arms, gladly accepting the hug. Charlie held her tightly as she placed a kiss on top of her head. “It’ll be okay, you….”

“No it won’t” Ruby pulled back as she shook her head. “How am I supposed to tell Gina I am having a baby with the man who killed her son?”

“You don’t have to tell Gina he’s the father” Charlie said as she tucked Ruby’s hair behind her ear.

“I can’t lie to her” Ruby raised her voice “And now she’s going to know that I was moving on already” Ruby shook her head “No, I’m going to get this sorted. I don’t want this baby”

“Rubes” Charlie said “Don’t, you can’t get….”

“It’s not up to you” Ruby cried “I don’t want this baby. And you were going to abort Chloe, so you can’t exactly tell me that I can’t abort this child”

“That was for all the wrong reasons” Charlie said “And I couldn’t go through with it, and I don’t think you will can either”

“Well, we’ll just have to wait and see if I can then, wont we” Ruby said before she turned around and walked out of the room.