I'll Always Be Here

[Danni02]

Thank you so much Cally, Barbara, Charis, Chester-Sam, Rach Loves H&A and Sabrina for the lovely comments. Barbara wow, thanks for reviewing all the ones you'd missed, really made me smile! I hope you all like this next one!

Chapter 83

“Morning” Charlie smiled as she walked into the kitchen to find Angelo making a fresh pot of coffee.

“Morning” Angelo returned the smile as he poured himself a cup, before walking over to the fridge and taking out the milk. Charlie walked further into the kitchen and opened to the cupboard where they kept the cups and took one out before going to pour herself a coffee. “Are you sure you should be drinking that?” Angelo asked as he put his hand on top of Charlie’s, stopping her from pouring the coffee.

“Why shouldn’t I be?” Charlie asked

“Well you’re pumping your milk for Chloe. Doesn’t caffeine like affect it or something?” Angelo asked

“I can have one cup” Charlie said as she batted Angelo’s and away with her other hand.

“Charlie, are you sure…”

“Angelo” Charlie sighed “I am having a cup of coffee. I haven’t had one in almost 6 months. I need a cup of coffee” Charlie said before she started to pour herself a cup.

Angelo sighed lightly as he shook his head. “Have half a cup then” Angelo said as he took the coffee pot from Charlie, stopping her pouring any further. Charlie shook her head at her husband as she poured some milk into her cup.

“What are you all dressed up for anyways?” Charlie asked as she looked round at Angelo who was wearing a suit.

“It’s Jay’s court case today” Angelo said

“Today?” Charlie questioned “I thought it was next week, since when has it been today?”

“Did I not tell you? They brought it forward a few days ago”

“Oh, you probably did but I probably didn’t take it in” Charlie said and Angelo smiled understandingly.

“Yeah, you’ve had a lot on your mind lately” Angelo said

“Yeah” Charlie nodded “Anyway, did they say why they brought it forward?”

“I’m not too sure why to be honest. But at least this is almost going to over for Rubes and she can start to move on with life”

“Yeah” Charlie said slowly as she bit her lip.

“So Morag and I are going to go and be there for Gina” Angelo said “She’s already been on the phone to me twice this morning, poor woman, she’s in bits at just thinking about have to face Jay, I don’t know what she going to be like once we are in the courtroom”

“No, I can’t begin to imagine how she’ll feel” Charlie said “But it’s nice that you are going to go to support her”

“Yeah, but maybe someone else should come with us” Angelo said suggestively “It might do them both good to be there and supporting each other”

“Angelo” Charlie shook her head lightly. “Ruby doesn’t want to go”

“I know but I think she should, and maybe you could talk to her, she listens to you”

“I am not going to force her into going today. If you want her to go then you can talk to her” Charlie said and Angelo exhaled lightly as Ruby walked into the kitchen.

“Hey, Rubes” Angelo started “Listen, about today….”

“I’m coming” Ruby said “I don’t want to go, but I’ve just had Gina on the phone and I need to be there for her, so I’m going to go”

“That’s great Rubes” Angelo smiled “You won’t regret this; I think this will really help you”

“Yeah well I just hope that he gets put away for a long time” Ruby said coldly “It’s the least he deserves after what he’s done”

“I know” Angelo said before looking down at his watch. “I’ll go get the kids up then it’ll probably be time for us to go” Angelo said and Ruby nodded lightly before he walked out of the room. Ruby looked around to Charlie, who was standing leaning against the worktop, drinking her coffee.

“You sure about this?” Charlie asked as she put the cup down on the worktop.

Ruby shrugged her shoulders as she bit her lip. “Gina needs me” Ruby said “And Dad’s probably right, it might do me good seeing him getting put down for this…Xavier finally getting some justice” Charlie nodded as she took a step forward and lightly rubbed Ruby’s arm.

“Okay, let me go and get changed and I will come with you as well” Charlie said

“No, you don’t have too” Ruby said “You’ve only just go out of hospital. Spend some time with Ava and Ben and go and see Chloe”

“Rubes don’t be silly” Charlie said “Of course I am going to come”

“Honestly, Mum its fine” Ruby shook her head “Dad, Morag and Gina will be there, I’ll be fine”

“Rubes, I am coming and that’s final” Charlie said and Ruby gave her mother a thankful smile “And what’s with all this Dad lately?” Charlie asked

“Just because well…he’s Dad” Ruby said

“Okay, fair enough” Charlie smiled “Have you ehm….thought about…” Charlie trailed off as she looked down to Ruby’s stomach.

“Same as what I said yesterday” Ruby said as she ran her hand across her stomach “I can’t have this baby”

“Rubes…”

“Please Mum, just….please don’t” Ruby said and Charlie exhaled lightly as she bit her lip. “Did you tell Dad?” Ruby asked and Charlie shook her head.

“No, I haven’t said anything yet” Charlie said

“Good, that’s the way I want it to stay. I don’t want anyone else finding out about this. I’ll get it dealt with and then no-one ever needs to find out what happened” Ruby said

“Ruby, I don’t think…..”

“Mum, please just….if you want to help me then just please support me in this decision” Ruby said

“Okay” Charlie sighed lightly deciding to drop the subject for now. “Well I’ll go get ready” Charlie said before she left the room. Ruby watched her mother walk away before she placed her hand onto her stomach and rubbed it gently, wondering to herself what it was she was going to do.

*****

Court had been adjourned until the jury had reached their verdict. Morag, Angelo and Charlie had gone for a coffee, while Gina and Ruby were sitting outside the courtroom waiting, and hoping that it wasn’t going to be long before they had reached their decision, and hoping that Jay would be sent down for a long time. During the trail it had been mentioned that Jay had embarked on a relationship with Ruby, and now Gina knew the truth, Ruby felt it was only right to talk to her about it. She took a deep breath before turning to face Gina. “Gina about me and Jay, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I…..”

“It’s okay” Gina said “I can understand why you didn’t tell me, but to be honest, I did suspect something was going on with you two when we met Jason in the city. I could tell by your reaction to seeing him that he was more than just your surf teacher”

“So why didn’t you say anything?” Ruby asked

“You clearly weren’t ready to tell me that you had moved on” Gina said softly “Rubes, I can see why you wouldn’t have wanted to tell me but I knew that one day you would find someone else that you wanted to be with…”

“But it was so soon” Ruby said “Xav had only been gone around 6 months when I started seeing Jay”

“Everyone moves on at different times” Gina said “It doesn’t mean that you stopped loving Xavier. I know you’ll always love Xavier, but you have a right to be happy and it’s what Xavier would have wanted. He’d want you to move on and find that special someone and I want that for you too”

Ruby smiled at Gina as she wiped a tear from her eye. “To bad I picked Jay” Ruby said “Gina you have no idea how I feel. I was dating the man who killed my husband, every time I think about us….I feel sick”

“I know it’s easy for me to say this, but just try not to think about him. I know he killed Xavier and we are probably always going to have moments where we think about him because he took Xavier from us, but after today, he’ll be sent down and paying for what he did and he’ll be out of our lives for good”

Ruby shook her head lightly as she placed her hand onto her stomach. “I’m never going to be able to forget about him now. Gina I’m.....”

“Ruby, Gina” Angelo interrupted as he walked across to them with Charlie and Morag walking beside him. “That’s us to go back in for the verdict” Ruby and Gina looked at each other and both of them took a deep breath before standing up and walking with each other back into the court room, with Charlie, Angelo and Morag following. Ruby sat on one of the chairs in the courtroom, with Gina sitting to her right, and Charlie to her left. The judge and jurors had come back into the room and all that was left was for Jay to be brought in. Ruby’s heart was racing and she felt sick to her stomach. A door opened and an officer appeared into the court room, leading Jay into the stand. As soon as Ruby saw him she immediately took Gina’s hand into hers and squeezed it gently as Gina looked down to her and gave her a grateful smile. This was the moment that they had been both dreading and eagerly awaiting for. Ruby kept her gaze down, unable to make herself look back to Jay. Charlie took Ruby’s other hand into hers and gave it a comforting squeeze. Ruby turned her head and smiled lightly at her mother before once again looking back down to the ground. The judge then brought attention to the court and the main juror was asked to stand.

“Have you reached a decision?” He asked as he looked to the juror.

“Yes” The lady nodded lightly as she answered the judge.

“And how do you find the defendant?”

“Guilty” As the juror spoke Gina let out a cry of delight and a lone tear rolled down Ruby’s cheek.

“Jason Brown” The judge spoke “You have been found guilty for the murder of Xavier Austin. I hereby sentence you to ten years imprisonment with a non parole time of five years” Charlie wrapped her arm around Ruby as another tear rolled down her cheek. Gina stared at Jay as he was taken away by the officers, a look of pure repulsion on her face, as he showed little or no remorse for his actions. As Ruby’s tears became heavier Charlie removed her from the courtroom, and Gina, Angelo and Morag followed. Charlie and Ruby sat down on the bench in the corridor and she held Ruby as she cried.

“It’s not enough” Gina cried “He killed my boy. It’s just not enough”

“Hey Gina” Angelo said as he pulled her into a comforting hug “At least someone is now being punished for Xavier’s death. Knowing that someone is doing jail time is surely better than having never found out who did this” Angelo said pulling back.

“But he’ll get out” Gina said “He won’t even serve 10 years” Gina wiped away the tears in her eyes as she spoke. “He’ll get out and he’ll be young enough to find someone to settle down with and have a family. He took that away from Xavier, he doesn’t deserve to have that”

“I’m sorry Gina. It was a mistake” Ruby cried as she looked up at Gina. “I don’t want it” Ruby shook her head as she placed her hand onto her stomach. “You see” Ruby said as she looked to Charlie. “I can’t keep his baby” Ruby cried before she ran from the courthouse. Gina, Angelo and Morag all stood there, each with the same look of pure shock on their faces at hearing Ruby was pregnant with Jay’s child.

“Rubes” Charlie said as she made to stand up and go after her.

“Please, let me go” Gina said as she placed her arm onto Charlie’s shoulder. Charlie gave Gina a nod before Gina turned and walked away after Ruby.

“She’s pregnant?” Angelo questioned as he took a seat next to Charlie.

“Yeah” Charlie said “She doesn’t want to keep it”

“And I guess you want her too?” Angelo asked

“I just don’t think she should rush into anything that she’ll regret” Charlie answered as she looked round at her husband. “So if that means I don’t want her to abort this child, then no, I don’t want her to get an abortion”

“Of course she should get an abortion” Morag said sharply as she too took a seat on the bench. “How can she have his child after what he did?”

“Because it’s her child too” Charlie argued “Okay, so Jay isn’t a decent guy but this baby is her child”

“Charlie, I understand why you are saying this, but I think I agree with Morag” Angelo said tentatively.

“What?” Charlie said, sounding shocked “You think she should abort this child too?”

“Yes” Angelo nodded “It’s probably what’s best for Ruby. She really struggled with Cal the first few months of his life, think what it’ll be like with his baby”

“Well her husband had just died then she had his child. It was never going to be easy for her, was it?” Charlie asked

“Yeah, and it’s only going to be 100 times worse with Jay’s baby” Angelo said “I mean look at you. You tried to have your baby but you went and left her. You couldn’t deal with it Charlie” Angelo said “And Ruby wont can either” Charlie shook her head as she stood up from the bench.

“I’m going to find Ruby” Charlie said “Remind me not to tell her how unsupportive her family are being right now”

“Charlie” Angelo said as he reached out to take her wrist but she pulled her arm away.

“Just leave it Angelo” Charlie said before she walked away leaving Morag and Angelo sitting in the courthouse.

[Danni02]

Thank you so much Cally, Barbara, Rach Loves H&A and Charis for the comments. I hope you all like this next part Let me know what you think Oh and thanks again Cally, you know why

Chapter 84

“So how far along are you?” Gina eventually spoke as she looked around to Ruby. Although she had caught up with Ruby quickly, the pair continued to walk away from the courthouse in silence, before finally leaning against a wall, some distance away.

Ruby exhaled lightly as she looked down to the ground. “Must be around 5 weeks” Ruby answered

“So you’re not keeping it?” Gina asked and Ruby bit her lip as she looked back up to Gina.

“I don’t know” Ruby shook her head “Part of me wants to get rid of it as soon as possible but there’s a small part, a very small part of me that’s telling me I want to keep the baby”

“That might just be your guilt at wanting to abort it” Gina said “I don’t blame you for wanting to get rid of this baby. If I was in your position I would be getting an abortion”

“So you think I should?” Ruby asked

“Well the option is abortion and getting your life back on track and just being there for Xavier’s son or there is choosing to have a baby with the man who killed your husband. Do you really need to question yourself about what you should do?” Gina asked. Ruby bit her lip as she thought about what Gina had said.

“I guess not” Ruby said quietly “But what would you think if I kept it?” Ruby asked tentatively as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

“It wouldn’t really have anything to do with me. Although you would be giving Callum a brother or sister who’s father was responsible for his father’s death...”

“Well, it’s the same for me, isn't it?" Ruby replied to Gina “Angelo killed Grant and he is the father of my siblings and I….”

“Well Grant and Xavier weren’t exactly the same kind of people were they?” Gina questioned “Xavier was a lovely, kind, caring guy, and Grant, well we all know what he was” Gina said “And anyways Angelo killed Grant accidentally. Grant was attacking Charlie and Angelo was trying to protect his wife, Jason ran over my son and left him for dead” Gina snapped

“Well, I guess…..”

“And where would Jason fit into all of this? Would you tell him he has a child? This child would have a right to know its father and that would mean Jason always being a part of your life. How could you deal with that? Even if you didn’t tell Jason you would always have a reminder of him. Could you love something that he gave you after what he did to Xavier? Could you really live with that?” Gina spoke coldly as she looked down at her daughter-in-law.

“I don’t......it would.....I....” Ruby paused not knowing how to answer Gina’s many questions. “Mum can do it” Ruby said “She loves me so much and I know she would do anything for me, despite who my biological father is”

“Yes maybe so” Gina said “But Ruby, the circumstances are different. This man took the life of your husband. He lied about it for months. How you can even contemplate keeping this child, I will never understand” Gina spat.

Ruby sighed lightly as she tried her hardest to hold back the tears that wanted to fall. Although she could understand why Gina was acting how she was, she was hoping for a little more support from her. “It’s not the baby’s fault” Ruby muttered.

“No, maybe not” Gina said coldly “But it still doesn’t make you having Jason baby right, just because the baby is not to blame” Ruby sighed lightly as silence fell between the two of them.

“Is everything alright?” Charlie asked as she walked up to them and noticed her daughter on the verge of tears, and Gina looking less than impressed.

“If you call my son’s widow having a baby with the man who killed him alright, then everything is great” Gina spat before she walked away from them, as a tear finally escaped Ruby’s eye.

“I don’t know what to do” Ruby cried. Charlie opened her arms out and Ruby fell into the hug. Charlie placed a kiss onto her daughters head before she ran her hand through her hair.

“It’s alright, Rubes” Charlie said “You’ll work it out and you do whatever it is that you want, yeah?” Charlie said as she pulled back from the hug. “It’s your choice and don’t let anyone else’s opinion alter that. No matter what you choose, I’ll be here for you and I’ll support you through it” Charlie said softly as she placed her hands onto her daughter’s shoulders. Ruby nodded lightly as she wiped another tear from her eye.

“It’s not as if it’s the baby’s fault” Ruby said “I don’t want to just end this baby’s life because of something terrible it’s Dad did but thinking about keeping Jay’s child I.......”

“I know. It’s hard” Charlie said “But just give it some time, and you’ll get there”

“How did you do it?” Ruby asked “What made you decide not to abort me?”

Charlie bit her lip as she lightly exhaled. “I didn’t know I was pregnant until it was too late to do anything about it. And even though I felt slightly cheated of the chance to make a decision, I was so glad that it was too late, because as soon as you kicked, I knew that all I felt for you was love, and it’s all I’ve ever felt Rubes” Charlie smiled as she lightly cupped her hand around Ruby’s cheek before she wiped away another tear that rolled down Ruby's cheek with her thumb. Ruby smiled as she listened to her mother’s words.

“Just the one kick then?” Ruby asked

“Just the one” Charlie smiled “And I knew right then that I was never meant to have the chance of a decision” Charlie replied “You were my baby, and that was all that mattered. I would raise you, I would love you, and I would be happy every single moment I looked at you”

“But then you left me” Ruby said and Charlie went to reply but Ruby spoke over her “It’s okay, I know that you did what you thought was best for me. It was your way of showing me how much you loved me. You wanted the best for me and at that stage in your life, you thought your parents would give me a better life than you could offer” Ruby said and Charlie smiled lightly as she felt a tear wanting to escape her. “You’ve showed me that I could love this baby” Ruby said as she placed her hand onto her stomach. “But Gina” Ruby shook her head “It would devastate her if I had this baby, and Dad and Morag.....well what did they say?” Ruby asked. Charlie exhaled lightly as she went to reply, but the look on her face was enough for Ruby to know. “They think abortion too, right?” Ruby asked and Charlie nodded lightly as she bit her lip. “So, everyone thinks I should have an abortion?” Ruby questioned “Then it’s what I have to do because I can’t do this on my own” Ruby looked down as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Hey, hey” Charlie said as she gently pushed Ruby’s head back up to face her. “You are never going to be on your own. I’ve said I’ll be here for you, Rubes, I’ll always be here for you no matter what” Charlie smiled “So, if you want to keep this baby then you have my support” Ruby smiled at her mother as another tear rolled down her cheek. Charlie pulled her daughter forward and into a hug, and Ruby gladly accepted as she wrapped her arms around her mother.

“There you are” Angelo said causing Charlie to pull back from the hug and look up to find Angelo and Morag walking across to them. “Where did Gina go?”

“She went home” Ruby answered quietly as she wiped any more evidence of tears from her face.

“Are you alright, Rubes?” Angelo asked as he watched her do this.

“Fine” Ruby lied “Can we go home now?” Ruby asked as she looked back up to Charlie. “I want to go get Cal”

“Sure” Charlie said before she and Ruby walked passed Angelo and Morag and made their way back to the car. Angelo exhaled lightly as he and Morag turned around and followed them back to the car, before Angelo drove them back into the Bay, and dropped Morag off at her house, before going to Nicole’s house, as she had been watching the kids for them that morning. As soon as Angelo had stopped the car Ruby jumped out and made her way quickly into the house, leaving Charlie and Angelo still in the car.

“Charlie…” Angelo started

“I’m going to get the kids then we can go see Chloe” Charlie said as she unbuckled her seat belt and turned to open the car door.

“Charlie” Angelo said once again, but Charlie had already gotten out of the car and was making her way up to the house. Angelo sighed lightly before he got out of the car and walked up and into Nicole’s house.

“Hey Nicole thanks for watching them this morning” Charlie smiled as she looked down to her children who were sitting playing along with Jessica.

“Oh it’s no problem” Nicole smiled “They kept Jessica entertained”

“Mummy” Ben beamed as he jumped up from the spot and ran over to his where his parents were standing “Nicole let us makes cakes”

“Wow, you’ve been baking” Charlie grinned as she bent down to her son’s level and Ben nodded his head.

“They were yummy” Ben smiled. “We made some for you and Daddy and Ruby”

“Ah that was nice of you” Charlie smiled and Ben nodded before he ran off in the direction of the kitchen.

“Are we going home now?” Ava asked as she walked over to her parents. Charlie shook her head lightly as she stood back up.

“No” Angelo answered “We are going to go to the hospital to see Chloe. Are you wanting to come?”

“No” Ava shook her head as she looked scared at the thought “I don’t want to go back in yet. Maybe you can just take some more pictures of her so I can see her today”

“Sure we will” Angelo smiled at his daughter. “Is it okay if she stays here a little longer?” Angelo asked as he looked up to Nicole.

“Yeah it’s no problem” Nicole smiled

“Thanks” Angelo smiled “Benny are you going to come today?”

“No” Ben shouted “I don’t like it”

“Okay, well we’ll try not to be too long” Charlie said

“Seriously its fine” Nicole said “Go and spend some time with Chloe, leave them here as long as you want”

“Thanks Nicole” Charlie smiled

Nicole returned a smile. “How is Chloe doing anyway?”

“She’s…..she doing okay” Charlie smiled lightly “She had a rough first few days but she seems to be getting stronger everyday now. She not had any more problems so far so….she’s….I think she’s getting there”

“That’s good to hear” Nicole smiled before turning her head to face up the stairs to where Ruby had ran off too, to check on her son, when she had entered the house, and was yet to appear back down “And how did the trial go?” Nicole asked tentatively.

“10 years” Angelo said shaking his head “He only got 10 years. And he’ll probably be out in half of that”

“Well I guess its something” Nicole said as Ruby made her way back down the stairs clutching her son in her arms.

“Rubes, we are going to the hospital to see Chloe, are you coming with us?” Charlie asked

“No, I was just going to stay and catch up with Nic” Ruby said

“Right, well we’ll be back for you guys later, so be good” Charlie said as she spoke to Ava and Ben.

“We will” They spoke in unison as they kept their focus on the game they were playing.

“Thanks again Nic” Charlie smiled before she and Angelo left the house to go to the hospital. Nicole looked around at Ruby, and smiled lightly at her friend. She could tell she had been crying, and that she looked like she wanted to burst into tears right that very second.

“You want to talk about it?” Nicole asked tentatively as she took a few steps closer to Ruby. Ruby bowed her head down as a tear rolled down her cheek. Nicole quickly took Callum from Ruby as she broke down into tears. “Hey, Rubes what is it?” Nicole asked as she placed one arm around Ruby while balancing Callum on her hip with her other.

“Xavier, Jay, Gina, the baby…..it’s all just too much” Ruby cried. Nicole exhaled lightly as she gently rubbed Ruby’s back. She led her across to the couch and they took a seat, and she put Callum down on the floor. He crawled across the room and took a seat next to Ava, much to her delight. Nicole smiled lightly before she looked back around to Ruby.

“Rubes” Nicole started

“He only got 10 years” Ruby said “10 years for taking someone’s life. He ran him over and left him to die, Nic….he should have longer, much longer” Ruby said as a tear rolled down her cheek. “And let’s face it he probably isn’t even going to serve 10 years; we’ll be lucky if he does half of it. It’s not fair Nic. It’s just not fair”

“I know” Nicole said “But the main thing is, we found who did this and he is facing a punishment. You can tell Cal that someone paid for his Dad’s death”

“And how am I supposed to tell Cal that I had a relationship with Jay?”

“You don’t need to tell him that”

“But I do” Ruby cried “Because…I’m….I’m pregnant with Jay’s child”

“You’re what?” Nicole said sounding rather shocked

“I don’t know what to do Nic” Ruby cried

“Oh Ruby” Nicole said softy as she gently rubbed her back.

“I hate him” Ruby cried “He’s ruined my life. He killed my husband and took away my happiness; he’s robbed Cal of ever knowing his father and now I’m….”

“You know, you don’t have to be pregnant” Nicole said and Ruby exhaled lightly as she nodded her head.

“I know and it’s crossed my mind so much but….the baby….” Ruby trailed off “I don’t know. I guess I just need a few days to be able to think about it clearly. I mean I only found out yesterday and then it was his trail today so my minds a bit all over the place at the moment” Ruby sighed

“Maybe it’s best given the circumstances that you were to abort it” Nicole said tentatively “Everyone would understand why you did. I mean if I was in your situation I think I would have an abortion”

“It’s easy for you to say that though” Ruby snapped “But when you are actually in this position you have no idea how it feels”

“I guess” Nicole exhaled lightly “Look Rubes; I will support you in whatever you choose. I get that this is your baby, its done nothing wrong, why end its life because of who the father is, but it is understandable that you would abort it, so don’t feel like people would judge you if you did”

“They’d more likely judge me if I kept it” Ruby sighed

“It’s your baby Rubes, and it’s your choice” Nicole said “Don’t let what other people think influence your decision. Just do what you feel is right”

Ruby took a deep breath as she wiped away the tears from her eyes “I will” Ruby said “I just need to work out what that is first”

[Danni02]

Thank you all so much for the awesome comments. They really keep me going!

Chapter 85

“Hey baby” Charlie smiled as she looked down into the incubator at her daughter.

“How has she been?” Angelo asked as he looked at Erin who was writing something down on Chloe’s record sheet.

“She’s been okay” Erin smiled lightly “We had quite a few apnea attacks through the night and then a couple this morning, but other than that that she’s been alright”

“Is she having a lot then?” Charlie questioned as she looked up to face Erin, her eyes widening in panic.

“It’s nothing I’m concerned about” Erin shook her head “Most preemies will develop apnea, and she will grow out of in her own time” Erin said and Charlie nodded lightly in response.

“So our daughter stopping breathing doesn’t concern you?” Angelo asked

“Like I said, most preemies will develop this. A gentle stimulation always gets her breathing again, and sometimes she’ll even remember herself and won’t need any help” Erin answered

“How long does she even stop breathing for?” Angelo asked

“Once the monitor goes off we wait 15 to 20 seconds before intervening to…”

“20 seconds” Angelo repeated, sounding shocked “You leave her for 20 seconds before….”

“We just need to see if she will start breathing again by herself. If not gentle stimulation will result in her breathing” Erin said

“I suppose she needs to learn to breathe on her own” Angelo said as he rubbed his forehead.

“Yeah” Erin smiled “Well I need to go just now, but I’m sure I’ll see you two before you leave” Erin said as she made her way across to the door and left the room leaving Charlie and Angelo alone.

“Charlie, look I’m sorry about what I said today. I didn’t....”

“It’s fine” Charlie said cutting Angelo off. “You’re entitled to your opinion, Angelo”

“I know, but, the way I put my point forward, what I said about you leaving Ruby, I didn’t....”

“You only said the truth” Charlie said, once again cutting Angelo off. “But can I ask you why you are so sure she should have an abortion?”

“I just think given the circumstances and her situation right now, it would be for the best”

“What about when I was considering aborting Chloe? We were separated; our marriage was a complete mess. Was that really the ideal situation to bring another child into the world?”

Angelo lightly exhaled as he scratched his head. “No, I guess it wasn’t” Angelo said “But you can’t seriously be saying that you wish you.....”

“No, no of course not. I couldn’t” Charlie said “I mean it seemed to be totally out of the question for me to get an abortion, but you seem to be pretty certain that Ruby should get one” Charlie said “It doesn’t really make much sense to me, how can you have such different opinions on the same subject?”

“Well it’s just a different situation. And given how Ruby already has a young son and is widowed, is still pretty young, she doesn’t have any income, it’ll be hard for her”

“I understand all that” Charlie said “And it has crossed my mind too, but this decision, its lies in Ruby’s hands and it’s not something we should force on her either way. Just let her come to this decision herself. Yes, it is going to be hard for her, but you need to let her know that even though you think she should have an abortion, that you will support her if she has this baby, because she can’t do this alone, Angelo. She’s needs our support and help”

“Of course I will support her” Angelo said “Either way I will show her she has my support”

“You’d just rather she had an abortion?” Charlie questioned and Angelo exhaled lightly before nodding. “If you want me to be truthful, then yeah. I mean think about it Charlie. He killed her husband. The guy is a murderer. Would you have a child with a murderer?”

“I did. I had 3” Charlie said before looking down.

“Oh. Kinda walked myself into that one didn’t I?” Angelo said and Charlie nodded lightly as she bit her lip.

“Yeah you did” Charlie said as she looked back up at Angelo. “Although I don’t like calling you a murderer” Charlie said as she shook her head “You were trying to protect me and things just got a little out of control. You were trying to stop him hurting me....you didn’t intend on killing him” Charlie paused “Jay just ran into Xavier and left him for dead. And now Rubes is left to deal with all this.....God am I an idiot for wanting her to keep the baby?”

“No of course not” Angelo said as he stepped closer to Charlie, and took her hand into his. “You just understand what it’s like to have the baby of a scumbag”

“Are we talking about you or Grant here?” Charlie asked as she gave Angelo a cheeky grin. Angelo’s eyes widened before Charlie let out a small laugh. “No, I know its Grant” Charlie said “And we shouldn’t be laughing about this”

“No” Angelo shook his head. “We shouldn’t. Look, I’ll talk to Rubes to when we get home and let her know she has my support either way”

“Thank you” Charlie smiled as she wrapped her arms around Angelo’s waist, before she placed a soft kiss on his lips. Angelo smiled at Charlie as she pulled back from the kiss. “What?” Charlie asked as she saw the look on his face.

“Nothing” Angelo grinned as he tucked Charlie’s hair behind her ear, before they both turned their heads and looked down to their daughter.

*****

Angelo knocked on the door and waited for a response before walking into the bathroom, to find Ruby kneeling over the bath as she bathed her son. “Hey, Rubes” Angelo smiled as he walked across the room and knelt down next to Ruby, as he watched Callum trying to grab for the little plastic boat as Ruby washed him. He reached out and took the boat in his hand then started to move it around the water as Callum followed, his big blue eyes widening as he watched the boat. “How are you feeling?” Angelo asked

“Today’s not been the best day of my life” Ruby answered “The guy who killed my husband hardly got anything as punishment and then my mother- in-law verbally attacked me when she found out I was pregnant with his child and then I find out that you, Nic and Morag think I should abort my baby”

“Tough day” Angelo exhaled lightly as he handed the toy boat to Callum and watched as he started to wave his arms about, splashing in the water. “Look Rubes if you want to have this baby I will support you 100 percent. You’ve got a tough decision to make, but, if you choose to keep this baby then I will fully support that decision” Angelo said as he reached to the side and took Callum’s towel from the towel heater, as he watched Ruby lift her son out of the bath. He handed her the towel and she wrapped it around her son. Ruby smiled at Angelo as before she walked out of the bathroom and into her bedroom, with Angelo following before laying her son down on her bed as she got the lotion, a nappy and his sleep suit.

“Thanks” Ruby smiled at Angelo. “But can I just ask you why you think I should get an abortion?” Ruby asked as she gently applied the lotion on to her son. Angelo sighed lightly as he sat down on the bed and rubbed his forehead. “Just because of everything that happened with Jay?” Ruby questioned and Angelo nodded hesitantly.

“It doesn’t really matter why, Rubes” Angelo said “I just….”

“It matters to me. Mum said I need to make this decision on my own, but I can’t seem to decide what the right thing to do is. I want to know what you think because it might help me reach a decision” Ruby said as she turned her head to face Angelo for a moment before looking back at her son, who was still lying on her bed, making gurgling sounds as she got him ready for bed.

“I don’t want to influence you Rubes” Angelo shook his head “The only thing you need to know is that when you have reached your decision you’ll have my support, 100 percent”

“Thanks, and I appreciate that” Ruby smiled as she went to put the nappy onto her son.

“Here, let me do that” Angelo said as he stood up and took the nappy from Ruby. “I should probably practise this again for when Chloe gets home”

Ruby laughed lightly as she watched Angelo putting the nappy onto her son. “You know Ben isn’t that old, it’s not as if he’s been out of nappies for years” Ruby said “You can’t forget how to put a nappy on”

“You’ll be surprised” Angelo laughed as he folded over the tab over and rubbed it gently into place before lifting Callum up from under his arms and holding him out in front of him and inspected his work, making sure he had fastened it securely. “Perfect” Angelo smile. Ruby laughed as she watched Angelo lay Callum back down and put on his sleep suit.

“Thanks” Ruby laughed “I needed that”

“You needed what?” Angelo asked as he lifted Callum up into his arms. Callum rested his head against Angelo’s shoulder as he let out a yawn.

“Just that” Ruby smiled as Ben came running into the room, holding a bottle of milk for Callum.

“Ruby” Ben said as he climbed up onto the bed. “Mummy said to give you this” Ben reached his arm out towards Ruby as she took the bottle from her brother.

“Thanks Benny” Ruby smiled

“Right” Angelo said “Well I’ll let you put him to bed” Angelo said as he handed Callum back to her. “C’mon Ben” Angelo made a head gesture for Ben to leave the room but Ben stayed on the bed and shook his head.

“No” Ben said sounding most appalled with his father’s suggestion. “I’m going to talk to Ruby”

“Oh, you are? Okay” Angelo said “And you’ll be alright Rubes” Angelo smiled “You’ll figure it out” Angelo said and Ruby smiled at him as he gently squeezed her shoulder, before he left the room. Ruby exhaled lightly as she sat down on her bed, and gave Callum his bottle.

“Ruby” Ben said

“Yes Ben” Ruby said as she looked down to him as he lay on his stomach on her bed, his elbows leaning off the bed as he held his head up with his chin resting on his hands.

“Why does Jay not come to play anymore? He’s not been for ages” Ruby exhaled lightly as she looked at her little brother. “Well” Ben said after a brief period of silence.

“He had to move away” Ruby said eventually.

“Oh” Ben said “Can we visit him? I liked him”

“No” Ruby shook her head “We can’t visit Jay”

“Oh” Ben said sadly “Why not? Is he at the same place as Xavier? Is why we can’t see him no more?”

“No” Ruby shook her head lightly “Xavier is in heaven, remember?” Ruby said and Ben nodded his head. “Jay’s just gone away” Ruby said

“So why can’t we visit Jay in his new place?” Ben asked confused.

“Because…” Ruby paused not able to find an answer to give to her brother.

“Because” Charlie said as she walked into the room “The place where Jay moved to is too far away for us to go see him” Charlie sat down on the bed and pulled her son closer to her. Ben jumped up on the bed and settled himself onto Charlie’s knee.

“Oh” Ben bowed his head down sadly “He was good at soccer. I liked Jay”

“I know you did” Charlie said as she ruffled her son’s hair. “But you mister were supposed to be getting ready for bed when I sent you up here” Charlie said as she lightly tickled her sons sides.

“I can’t” Ben giggled “I can’t do it myself”

“Yes you can” Charlie said “Go on. Go and get your pyjama’s on and I’ll be through in a minute” Charlie said as she lightly pushed Ben forward on her knee and he jumped down before running from the room. She turned to face Ruby and watched as she took the empty bottle from her son’s mouth and lay it down on the bed.

“Thanks for that” Ruby smiled “I didn’t know what to say to him”

“It’s okay” Charlie said “Maybe I should have explained things to him so he didn’t have to ask you”

“It’s alright” Ruby said “No harm done” Charlie smiled at Ruby as she watched her getting up from the bed and walking over to the cot and placing her son down to sleep. “Besides it’s not really like I am ever going to forget about Jay, is it? I can’t just pretend he doesn’t exist. Especially since I am having his child” Ruby said

“So you’re keeping it?” Charlie asked as she walked over to the cot and stood next to Ruby.

Ruby nodded lightly “Yes, I think so. Right now at this moment I think I am, but, my mind keeps changing”

“Well it’s a hard decision to make” Charlie said “And don’t try to rush it for the sake of making a choice. You only found out about this yesterday. It’ll take time”

“But you would be alright with me keeping it?” Ruby asked

“Rubes, of course I would” Charlie said as she lightly rubbed her daughters shoulder.

“Because I know it’s going to be hard on my own with two young kids, and then there is my financial situation and I’d be bringing another baby into this house, another disruption for Ava and Ben. Should I move out? Find some....”

“Ruby no” Charlie said sounding rather surprised at Ruby suggestion. “Don’t be so silly, you having this baby, it doesn’t mean you have to go anywhere. I’m not ever going to let you struggle. I’m always going to help you out”

Ruby smiled at her mother before she exhaled lightly. “I’ve been thinking, about going to see Jay” Ruby said “There’s stuff I want to ask him, stuff I want to know....” Ruby trailed off

“Okay” Charlie nodded “Do you want me to come with you?”

Ruby shrugged her shoulders, before shaking her head. “No, no, I don’t. I think I need to do this on my own”

“Okay” Charlie smiled lightly. “Well if you change your mind...”

“I know” Ruby smiled

“Mummy” Ben shouted from his room “Where’s my story”

“I better go....” Charlie said as she looked around to the door.

“Yeah, sure. Thanks for being so great Mum” Ruby smiled. Charlie returned a smile before she placed a kiss on Ruby’s forehead before she left the room. Ruby exhaled lightly as she placed a hand onto her stomach and rubbed it gently. She nodded lightly to herself as she stood over the cot and watched her son sleeping.

[Danni02]

Thank you so much Cally, Rach Loves H&A, Charis and Barbara I hope you like this next one.

Chapter 86

Gina took a deep breath before she knocked on the door. It had been a few days since the trial and she had come to talk to Ruby about what had happened. Moments later and the door opened “Gina” Ruby said, not seeming to happy to see her standing at the door.

“Hey Rubes, can I come in?” Gina smiled lightly and Ruby stood in silence for a moment before she lightly nodded her head.

“Okay” Ruby said as she made a gesture for her to come into the house. She walked through to the living room and took a seat on the couch and Gina sat down next to her, silence filling the room for a few minutes, before Gina spoke.

“So, where’s Cal?”

“He’s sleeping” Ruby answered

“Oh okay. And how is he doing?” Gina asked

“He’s great”

Gina nodded her head lightly before she exhaled. “Quiet here today. I guess Ben and Ava aren’t in?” Gina laughed lightly, trying to ease the tension in the room.

“They’re at school” Ruby answered a little more sharply than she had intended to. “What are you doing here anyways? Shouldn’t you be at school too?”

“I don’t have a class to teach until this afternoon” Gina said “And I can’t stop thinking about how I spoke to you the other day after the trial, so I wanted you to come and talk to you”

“Right” Ruby nodded lightly. “Well can I get you a coffee or tea or anything?”

“A coffee would be lovely thanks” Gina smiled slightly at Ruby as she stood up and made her way into the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with two cups and handing one to Gina as she took a seat. “You’re drinking coffee?” Gina questioned “Does this mean....”

“It’s decaff” Ruby interrupted. “Dad bought it for Mum. It’s all he’ll let her drink right now if she wants a coffee. He’s all paranoid about the whole breast milk and caffeine thing, so this is what she gets” Ruby said and Gina nodded lightly before silence hit the room.

“Look Ruby” Gina said after a brief period of silence “I am sorry for what I said the other day, I was out of line, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have spoken to you how I did”

“You only said the truth” Ruby said

“Well there’s ways I should have said it, and the way I did it was wrong” Gina said “I guess I was just.....it was a hard day as it was, and finding that out.....”

“I know” Ruby said “It was just too much. I didn’t intend on telling you, it just slipped out in the moment. You were going on about Jay making a life for himself and having children when he got out and here was me, sitting there carrying his child and I just couldn’t hold it in” Ruby said “I’m so sorry Gina”

“Ruby you don’t have to be sorry” Gina said softly

“I do, because I was in a relationship with the man who killed Xavier and now....” Ruby trailed off “Gina, I think I want to keep this baby”

“You what?” Gina asked, sounding rather surprised “Ruby, Jason killed your husband and you are going to have his child....I don’t understand, how can you have his child? What does this say about how you feel about Xavier?”

“Gina that’s not fair” Ruby said as she banged her cup down on the table. “I love Xavier so much and that’s never going to change, but this baby.....it’s my baby Gina and it just doesn’t feel right to have an abortion, so you’ll just have to try and understand that I am keeping this child”

“Well I’m sorry if I can’t be happy for you” Gina spat “I can’t believe you could do this to Xavier, if you loved him then you would abort Jay’s child”

“Don’t” Ruby shook her head “Don’t use Xavier to guilt trip me into this. Please just try to understand....”

“No Ruby, my son is dead because of that baby’s father” Gina yelled as she pointed to Ruby stomach. “You need to understand how hard it is for me to understand how you could keep this child”

“We are never going to find common ground on this are we?” Ruby said as she looked up at Gina, who lightly shook her head in response to Ruby’s question.

“No, we’re not” Gina answered before she pursed her lips together. “I think I should probably leave”

“Yeah. I think you should” Ruby said as she stood up and made her way to the front door as Gina followed. She opened the door and watched as Gina walked out and over to her car, before she closed the door and then rested her head against it as she broke down into tears.

*****

Nicole walked into the Diner, her young daughter skipping happily by her side. “Ruby” Jessica squealed as she ran over to the table and gave Ruby a hug.

“Hey, Jessica. How are you?” Ruby asked as she pulled back and watched Jessica climb up on the chair next to hers.

“Good” Jessica smiled.

“Hey Rubes” Nicole smiled as she took a seat opposite her friend. Ruby managed a weak smile back to Nicole. “Sorry we are late. Madam here had a little tantrum about changing out of her dress up clothes. You were almost going to be having lunch with Snow White” Nicole said and Ruby laughed lightly before she looked down to the table.”Rubes?” Nicole questioned

“Gina came round this morning” Ruby said “Started off as an apology but....” Ruby trailed off as she began to play with her necklace, running her fingers around Xavier’s ring.

“Didn’t end well?” Nicole questioned and Ruby shook her head lightly as she looked down.

“I made the mistake of telling her I was keeping the baby” Ruby said as she looked up to Nicole.

“Well you would have to tell her at one point” Nicole said

“I know” Ruby sighed “I guess I just thought that she would understand why I would keep the baby. She said I hated Xavier, Nic” Ruby said as her eyes began to well up with tears.

“She really said that?” Nicole said, sounding shocked.

“Well no but she pretty much implied it” Ruby said trying her best to stop herself from breaking into tears in the middle of the Diner.

“Don’t be sad” Jessica said as put her hand onto Ruby’s arm. Ruby looked down to Jessica and smiled lightly at her.

“I’m okay” Ruby said as she took a deep breath just as Leah came over to take their order.

“You alright Rubes?” Leah asked, looking a little concerned for her.

“Yeah fine” Ruby forced a smile as she looked up at Leah.

“Okay” Leah said not sounding to convinced. “What can I get you today?”

“Chocolate milk” Jessica beamed as she looked up to Leah.

“Is she to get that, Mummy?” Leah asked as she looked to Nicole.

“Yeah, fine” Nicole smiled before ordering some food for Jessica and herself, before Ruby placed her order, then Leah left the table.

“Look, Rubes....” Nicole started “I’m not saying I disagree with what you are doing, you made the choice that you felt was right, but I can see why this would be so hard for Gina to accept”

“But why is it such a big deal about Gina?” Ruby asked “I’m the one who is pregnant; I am the one who is going to have this child and raise it, not Gina. It’s not as if she is going to have anything to do it”

“I think it’s more the fact that her son’s widow is having a baby with the guy who killed him” Nicole said “I don’t think it’s about the actually baby, more so your choices”

Ruby exhaled lightly as she played with her wedding rings. “I’ve made the wrong choice, haven’t I?” Ruby asked as she leant herself back in the chair. “No, no, don’t answer that, sorry. I can’t make you answer that” Nicole pursed her lips together as she leaned herself forward in her chair.

“Rubes, Gina will eventually be more understanding, she just needs time to take everything in” Nicole said and Ruby smiled lightly at her friend before she ran her hand over her stomach.

“I hope your right” Ruby said “Because she’s Cal’s Granny and I don’t want their relationship to suffer because of some feud between me and Gina. He needs to know her, I feel it’s even more important now considering he not going to have Xav in his life” Ruby said as she looked down to her son, who was sitting in his buggy amusing himself with his rattle.

“I don’t think Gina will walk away from her Grandson, even if you and her never see eye to eye again. Gina will want to be close to Cal, because he’s her little piece of Xavier” Nicole said to Ruby as she grabbed Ruby's hand “I know this is easy for me to say, but, give it time. Gina will come around”

“I really hope you are right, but I just don’t know” Ruby sighed “I don’t think she will. But all that matters is that she continues to be in Cal’s life”

“And she will be” Nicole smiled “I don’t doubt that for a second”

“Mummy” Jessica said “Talk to me”

“Mummy is talking with Ruby right now” Nicole said as she looked down at her daughter and Jessica stuck her bottom lip out in a pout.

“It’s okay” Ruby smiled “What you saying, Jessica?”

Jessica looked up to Ruby and thought for a moment before she shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know” Jessica said and Ruby laughed as she ruffled Jessica’s hair.

“Hello Jessica” Ben said as he came running along the room and over to the table.

“Hi” Jessica said

“What you doing?” Ben asked as he climbed up onto the spare seat next to Nicole.

“Getting chocolate milk” Jessica beamed as she kicked her legs back and forward in the seat.

“Mummy, can I get some chocolate milk?” Ben asked as Charlie walked up to the table.

“Oh I don’t know” Charlie teased her son.

“Please Mummy” Ben pouted as Leah walked over to the table with the chocolate milk for Jessica, and a coffee for Nicole.

“Charlie, hey” Leah smiled “Are you joining them?” Charlie looked to Ruby then Nicole who were both nodding lightly.

“You can join us if you want” Nicole smiled

“Okay then. Yes, I am” Charlie said as she pulled over another chair and took a seat.

“So, what can I get you?” Leah asked

“One coffee, a chicken wrap, a cheese toastie and some chocolate milk for Ben” Charlie said and Ben grinned on hearing he was getting some chocolate milk.

“Here’s your decaff, Ruby” Colleen said as she placed the cup down in front of Ruby. “Not your usual order” Colleen said before waiting on an explanation.

“No, I just fancied a change” Ruby said as she looked up at Colleen.

“Oh” Colleen said “And Sergeant Risotto, how’s young Chloe doing?”

“She doing okay” Charlie smiled hopefully “She’s improving every day or so the nurses tell us”

“That’s great to hear” Leah smiled

“Well don’t get your hopes us to soon” Colleen said “A friend of Madge Wilkins had a Grandson who was born early like young Chloe, and the nurses said he was doing great then one day he took a turn for the worst and he died....”

“Colleen” Leah yelled “Here take this to the kitchen” Leah said sharply as she handed Colleen Charlie’s order. “Charlie...” Leah started

“No, she right” Charlie said as she bit her lip. “Things could take a turn at any moment”

“Best not to think that way” Leah said “You just need to think....”

“I know, I know” Charlie said “I’ve got to think positive. God, if I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me I’d have enough to....” Charlie trailed off as she looked up to Leah. “Sorry” Charlie lightly shook her head at herself. “You’re just trying to be supportive”

“Its fine” Leah smiled “Anyways I should get back...” Leah said as she pointed in the direction of the kitchen before she walked off. Charlie exhaled lightly before she looked to Ruby.

“You alright Rubes?” Charlie asked

“I’m fine” Ruby said unconvincingly.

“Mmm hmm” Charlie sighed “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Mum, seriously, just leave it. Or I’ll tell Dad you’re drinking coffee” Ruby said as Colleen brought Charlie’s coffee and Ben’s milk across to the table.

“Now that’s a bit childish is it not?” Charlie laughed

“Probably. Where is Dad anyways?” Ruby asked as she ran her hands around her cup, not making eye contact with her mother

“He had to go into the station for something” Charlie said and Ruby nodded lightly. “Rubes” Charlie said

“Mum please, just leave it, I’m fine”

“Ruby’s sad” Jessica said as she looked up to Charlie.

“Are you sad cos you’re missing your friend Jay?” Ben asked as he looked to Ruby.

“No” Ruby shook her head “I’m not sad, look” Ruby said as she pointed to her face and put on a big grin. Ben giggled as Colleen and Leah came over with everyone’s lunch.

*****

“Right” Charlie said as she pushed her plate forward as she finished her lunch “Benny, you ready to go? We’re going to meet Daddy at the hospital”

“No” Ben shook his head “I don’t want to come”

“Ben” Charlie said

“No, I don’t like it” Ben raised his voice.

“He can stay with me” Ruby said

Charlie exhaled lightly as she looked down at her son. He hadn’t been back to the hospital to see Chloe since the day she was born 12 days earlier. Although she didn’t want to push him into going into the NICU, she wanted him to see his sister and begin bonding with her before she came home, but she knew it would be best to let Ben go when he felt ready. “Okay, be good for Rubes” Charlie said as she bent down to her son’s level as she ruffled his hair.

“I will” Ben smiled

“Bye guys” Charlie said as she looked to Jessica, Ruby then Nicole, as she stood back up.

“Bye Charlie” Jessica waved

“Bye Jessica” Charlie smiled before she walked away.

“Can we go fishing Ruby?” Ben asked as he looked up to his sister.

“No” Ruby laughed lightly “We cannot go fishing”

“Can we go to the swings then?” Ben asked

“Yeah yeah” Jessica said “Please”

“Sure we can” Nicole smiled before they all got up and left the diner. Ben and Jessica walked down the road, slightly in front of Ruby and Nicole, hand in hand as they spoke away to each other.

“That’s so cute” Nicole smiled as she pointed to the kids.

“Aww, my little brother and your daughter.....future couple” Ruby laughed as she and Nicole continued to walk down to the road and eventually they reached the park. They took a seat on a bench as they watched Ben and Jessica playing on the slide. Ruby lifted Callum out of the buggy and placed him on her lap. Callum let out babbles of excitement as he clapped his hands together. Ruby smiled as she gently ran her hand over her sons head. “I wish Xav was.....”

“I know” Nic said “He would have been a great Dad”

Ruby smiled as she moved her son her lap, giving him a hug. “He was always great with Ava and Ben, even little Jessica when we’d babysit” Ruby smiled as she looked over to Jessica who was have a good laugh at something Ben had just said to her. “I remember this one time, we were watching her for you, she wouldn’t settle, no matter what I tried. Xavier took her from me and he started singing to her and she was asleep within minutes of him trying”

“Wait” Nicole said as she held her hand out. “She fell asleep to Xavier’s singing?”

“I know” Ruby laughed “Maybe it was because she hated it so she fell asleep to rid herself of having to hear anymore”

“That sounds more likely” Nicole laughed “Poor Jessica having to put up with that”

“Yeah” Ruby exhaled lightly “Mind you, I wouldn’t mind Cal having to put up with it if it meant Xav was here”

“He is Rubes” Nicole smiled as she placed her hand on Ruby's “He's in Cal. I know it’s not like Xav being right here next to you, but Cal is here, and he will remind you every single day of what an amazing person he was” Ruby smiled lightly as she listened to Nicole.

“I know” Ruby took a deep breath “Thanks, Nic, you’ve really been great today”

“Anytime” Nicole smiled before they turned to watch the kids playing.

[Danni02]

Thank you so much Cally, Charis, Rach Loves H&A and Sabrina for the comments. I hope this next one is okay....

Chapter 87

Ruby pulled up her car into the parking space and switched off the engine. She took a deep breath before she unbuckled her seatbelt and stepped out of the car. Walking up to the door she thought about turning around and going to home, not bothering with the visit, but there was something in her that kept her going forward. Although she felt physically sick at the thought of coming face to face with him again, she needed to do this. There were questions running around in her mind that she desperately needed the answers too. As she walked into the building her whole body shuddered as she became one step closer to seeing him again. As the group of visitors were led through to the room, her heart began to race and she got a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“Ruby” Jay smiled lightly as she approached him. “I’m really glad you came to see me” Ruby took a seat opposite Jay as she tried to avoid eye contact as much as possible.

“I just want some answers then I’ll never be back again” Ruby said coldly as she looked beyond Jay, keeping her focus on the clock on the wall.

“Sure” Jay said “I’ll tell you anything you want to know” Jay leaned forward and tried to take hold of Ruby’s hand but she leaned herself as far back in the chair as she could, and folded her arms across her chest.

“Did you know?” Ruby asked as she finally made eye contact with Jay.

“Did I know what?” Jay asked

“You know fine what I mean” Ruby spat “Did you know who I was that first day you spoke to me?”

Jay looked down as he exhaled lightly. “I did” Jay nodded as he looked back up at Ruby.

“So what, did you deliberately track me down or was it just a coincidence that we met?” Ruby asked

“The former” Jay said hesitantly

“Why?” Ruby asked “Why did you do this to me?”

“I wanted to make it up to you” Jay said “I thought I could give you a nice life, make you want for nothing. And little Cal, I thought I could be the father to him that Xavier would have been”

“You would never be as good a father as Xav would have been to our son” Ruby spat “You would never give me what I had with Xavier. If you wanted to make it up to me then you should have turned yourself in and paid for what you did, took punishment for it”

“Well I’m doing that now, aren’t I?” Jay questioned

“Only because you got caught out” Ruby snapped “If Morag had never found this out you’d still be free and we’d still be…..” Ruby trailed off as she looked down. “Do you have any idea how it makes me feel to think I was with the man who killed my husband”

“I’m sorry” Jay said

“Sorry?” Ruby questioned “You’re sorry?”

“Well….I…..I don’t know what else I can say” Jay said

“That’s because there is nothing” Ruby spat “There is nothing you can do, there is nothing you can say to possible begin to make it up to me” Jay sighed lightly as he ran his hand through his hair, before silence fell upon them for a few minutes. Jay sat himself forward in the seat and placed his hand onto Ruby’s arm.

“Can you find a way to forgive me?” Jay asked and Ruby shook her head as she batted his hand from her arm.

“You think that you really deserve that?” Ruby snapped

“Look, it was an accident. It’s not like I hit him intentionally. And what about what we had?” Jay asked as he pointed to himself then to Ruby. “I saw how you looked at me; you were falling fast for me Rubes. We could have had something really special”

“Yeah we could have” Ruby said as a tear made its way down her cheek. “But you killed my husband so nothing is ever going to happen, and now all I feel for you is hatred and disgust. You’ll never get my forgiveness Jay” Ruby shook her head “Never”

“Ruby, please. What I did....I’m not a bad guy....I just made a mistake....”

“Yeah you made one mistake and now I have to live the rest of my life without my husband, Gina without her son and Cal without his Dad”

“And what about me?” Jay asked “What life am I going to have living in this place?”

“Aww poor little Jay” Ruby snapped “Having to live here. At least you are alive, Jay”

“Not much of a life really is it? Being stuck in here?” Jay said as he threw his arms out to the side. “I am sorry for what I did. I wish it never happened but I have to live with what I did for the rest of my life”

"And I have to live the rest of mine without the love of my life. Cal has to live his without his Dad; all his friends will have a Dad, but not him. I'm dreading that day when he asks me where his Dad is. I never want to have to tell him that he was killed by someone who wasn't man enough to own up to his mistake. We have it harder Jay” Ruby said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Is everything alright over here?” An officer asked as she walked across to the table, after hearing the raised voices and noting the tears present upon Ruby’s face.

“Fine” Ruby said as she stood up from the seat “But it’s time for me to leave. Don’t expect me to ever come back. I never want to see you again. I hope you rot in here” Ruby spat before she turned and walked away from the Jay, placing her hand on her stomach as she did so, as once again, a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Ruby, please” Jay shouted but Ruby ignored him and continued to walked out of the room. As she left the prison she drove in the opposite direction of the bay. She knew where she wanted to go, where she needed to go. After completing the journey, Ruby walked the short distance through the graveyard to her husband’s grave. As she knelt down in front of it she gently cupped her hand around a flower head. The flowers, Ruby assumed would have been recently left by Gina. She took a deep breath as she moved her hand up and ran it across the gold lettering of his name.

“Xav, I miss you so much. It hurts so much to not see you every day. Sometimes I wish I could just end it all and be with you again, but when I look at Cal, and he gives me a big gummy grin, it makes my life worth living. He’s getting me through this, Xav, our Cal....our little boy” She held her hand out as she felt drops of rain beginning to fall. Exhaling lightly she once more ran her hand over his name. Oh Xavier” Ruby choked back the tears. “I need your help. I don’t know what to do. I thought I had my mind made up, but now.....” Ruby trailed off as a tear rolled down her cheek. She exhaled lightly as she wiped her hand across her face, before she clasped Xavier’s ring tightly in her hand. “You need to give me some sort of sign or something, please babe, you always helped me see what was right” Ruby exhaled lightly as she felt the rain getting heavier, and soon enough, she was soaked through, but she didn’t care. Sitting there made her feel closer to Xavier and she wasn’t ready to leave, not yet. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I tried to move on….I wish I could turn back time” Ruby cried “But….now I’m in this situation and I don’t know what to do for the best” Ruby ran her hand over her stomach as she spoke, the rain continuing to pour down. “Please Xav, you have to help me. I need you to tell me what to do” Ruby cried as she fell forward and leaned herself against his headstone.

*****

Ben and Ava walked excitedly into the shop with Charlie and Angelo walking in behind. “Guys, don’t run away….” Angelo trailed off as the kids shot off in opposite directions. He turned to face Charlie who laughed lightly at him. “What’s funny?”

“Well we have a Disney store, and Ava and Ben” Charlie said “Our kids and a Disney store equals…” Charlie paused as she pointed across to her daughter as she already had a pile of things in her arms, which she wished to have. “Tell her she can have one thing. I’ll go find Ben” Charlie said before she started to walk away from Angelo.

“What? Why do you get Ben? He’s the easier one to handle” Angelo said. Charlie gave Angelo a cheeky grin before she walked away, leaving Angelo to deal with his daughter. She found Ben standing in front of some dress-up costumes.

“Hey Benny” Charlie said as she placed her hand gently on top of her sons head. “What are you wanting?”

“I don’t know” Ben sighed “This one or this one” Ben pointed to a Buzz Lightyear costume before pointing to a Woody costume. “Can I get them two?” Ben asked as he looked up at Charlie with big, puppy dog eyes.

“No” Charlie shook her head “No, you can get one” Charlie said and Ben stuck his bottom lip out.

“Well” Ben said as he scratched his head “I like both best”

“You’ve got to make a choice Benny” Charlie said

“I know. Ehm” Ben once again scratched his head “I want that one” Ben pointed to the Woody costume.

“You sure?” Charlie said and Ben nodded as Charlie picked up the Woody costume.

“I’ll carry it” Ben said as he took it from Charlie.

“Okay, now let’s see how Daddy is getting on with Ava” Charlie said as she and Ben walked across the store and over to where Angelo and Ava were standing.

“But I’ve picked” Ava sighed as she spoke to Angelo.

“But you’re not allowed all that” Angelo said “One thing is what Mum said”

“But I can’t choose” Ava said “Please Dad it will be the last things you buy me for a while”

“Until you want to latest trend of the week” Angelo muttered

“Av’s” Charlie said “One thing or nothing”

“No Mum, that’s not fair. You are buying Ben something” Ava squealed as saw what Ben had.

“Well pick something then” Charlie said

“But I just want all of this stuff” Ava said as she had some Hannah Montana pyjama’s, a High School Music Troy doll and a High School Musical cheerleaders outfit in her hand.

“No, Ava” Ben said “Its only one”

“I don’t want one” Ava yelled “I want them all” Ava stomped her feet off the ground, causing a few customers to look in their direction. Feeling embarrassed, and wanting to take hold of the situation, Angelo tried to compromise with Ava.

“I’ll tell you what” Angelo said “You can have the Troy doll and either the dress-up clothes or the pyjama’s if you…..”

“No, Angelo” Charlie said sharply. “Don’t start negotiating with her. We’ve told her we would buy her one treat today, and if she can’t choose only one thing then she’ll get nothing. She has to learn she can’t get it her way all the time”

“Then I want nothing, because I won’t choose between my favourites” Ava yelled as she threw the items down on the floor and ran from the shop. Charlie shook her head as Angelo walked after Ava, and felt embarrassment hit her, as people were still staring at her. She sighed lightly before she picked up the stuff from the floor and put them away, before she and Ben walked over to the till to pay for his costume.

“Ava’s not being nice” Ben said as he looked up to Charlie. “I choosed my treat though”

“Yes, you did” Charlie smiled down at her son.

“So Ava gets nothing?” Ben questioned

“Nope, she gets nothing” Charlie said

“Cos she wouldn’t choose just the one?” Ben asked

“Yup that’s right” Charlie said as she and her son made their way out of the shop, with Ben clutching happily onto the shopping bag. They found Angelo outside with a teary Ava standing next to him. Charlie looked down at her daughter, being choosing to ignore her behaviour. “So, where are we going to go next” Charlie said as she looked up at Angelo. “Is there anywhere you want to go?”

“Well, I know we have loads of clothes for her already, but considering her size I think it’s going to be a while before she even fits into zero to three month clothes, so I thought maybe we could go get some preemie clothes for Chloe” Angelo said and Charlie bit her lip as she exhaled lightly. “What? You don’t like that idea?” Angelo asked

“I do, it’s just….” Charlie trailed off as she looked down. “Colleen said something to me the other day, and I know it’s Colleen and you just ignore what she says half the time, or well most of the time, but she…..” Charlie once again paused.

“Charlie” Angelo said as he placed his hand onto her shoulder.

“I’m just scared we buy more stuff for her and then….” Once again Charlie trailed off from what she was saying.

“Charlie, don’t” Angelo said “Chloe is doing great and she’s getting stronger every day. Don’t let something that someone like Colleen said set you back”

Charlie smiled lightly before she nodded. “Yeah, okay. We can go buy her some smaller clothes” Charlie said as they started to make their way down the shopping centre and over to one of the baby shops. Ava was walking slowly, her arms folded across her chest, her head down in a sulk, as she followed her parents and brother into the shop, and over to the baby girl section, before finding the tiny baby and premature baby clothes. Angelo started filling the basket with baby grows and little dresses as Ava stood back and stayed in her sulk, as Ben swung his bag around and around, uninterested in looking at clothes for the baby.

“Av’s you not wanting to pick anything for Chloe?” Angelo said as he looked around to his daughter.

“No” Ava said sharply as she kept her gaze on the floor.

“C’mon Ava, I need you help to pick a hat” Angelo said “I don’t know what one is the nicest”

“Well ask Mum” Ava said angrily.

“But I want your opinion” Angelo said “C’mon come and help me” Ava sighed lightly as she shuffled herself forward and looked up to the two hats that Angelo had in his hand. One of them, plain pink and the other one yellow with a little flower on the front.

“She already wears a pink one” Ava mumbled “Get the yellow one” Ava shuffled herself backwards and leaned herself against the wall as she waited on her parents to be ready to leave. Angelo glanced up at Charlie, as she shook her head at him before they both looked to their daughter.

“Right, I think that’s enough just now” Charlie said before they made their way up to the till to pay for the items. They made their way back through the shopping centre and as they approached the Disney shop, Ava looked up to her parents and smiled angelically.

“I know what I want now” Ava said

“To bad” Charlie said “You’ve had your chance Ava”

“But Mum, please. I want the pyjamas” Ava clasped her hands together as she looked up at Charlie, who was stood shaking her head.

“Charlie” Angelo said “C’mon you bought Ben something and we’ve bought stuff for Chloe, we can’t leave Ava out”

“This is exactly why she is behaving like this Angelo, because you give in to her all the time. She had her chance to get something and she took a strop so she’s not getting anything”

“Right” Angelo said “Fair enough. Sorry sweetie. Nothing today” Angelo looked down at Ava, who was continuing to sulk on hearing she wasn’t going to be getting anything today.

“I’m hungry” Ben said “Can we get some lunch?”

“Yes, I think that’s a great idea” Charlie said as they continued to walk away from the shop and made their way up the stairs and into one of the restaurants, Ava once again walking behind them in a sulk. Just as they sat down at the table Angelo’s mobile began to ring, and pulling it out, his eyes widened as he saw who was calling him.

“Hello” Angelo said apprehensively “Oh….right ehm, yes…..of course, of course do it right away….okay…..thank you…bye”

“What was that about?” Charlie asked as she saw the look on his face.

“It was the hospital, well David….” Angelo said before trailing off.

“What did he want” Charlie asked as panic set in. “Oh God, Angelo, why’s he calling us? What’s wrong?”

“Chloe….” Angelo started as he stood up and walked over to the other side of the table where Charlie was sitting. “She needs another blood transfusion” Angelo said softy as he bend down in front of Charlie, and ran his hand along her arm.

“Why? What’s wrong now” Charlie asked as she began to get teary eyed. “What if this is the start of what Colleen was taking about…..Oh God, Angelo…..”

“Hey, hey come here. She’ll be alright” Angelo said as he pulled Charlie into a hug.

“No, no” Charlie shook her head as she push Angelo back. “We need to go to the hospital and be there for our baby”

“Charlie, there’s nothing we can do right now” Angelo said “Lets just stay here and have lunch with the kids, spend the day with them as promised and we will go to the hospital tonight”

“How can you be so calm about this?” Charlie questioned “Our daughter is getting a blood transfusion. Angelo we need to go to the hospital”

“What’s a blood transfusion?” Ben asked as he looked up at his parents. Before Charlie and Angelo had to chance to explain things to Ben, Ava started talking.

“The baby, the baby, the baby” Ava snapped “It’s always about the baby now. She’s got loads of new things then you buy more for her today and wouldn’t let me pick more than one thing and now you’re just going to leave to see her” Ava shouted as the tears rolled down her cheeks. “I don’t want the stupid baby anymore. It was better before you had her” Ava screamed before she ran from the restaurant leaving Charlie and Angelo standing in shock at her outburst.

[Danni02]

Thank you all so much for the lovely comments! I hope you like this next one.

Chapter 88

Charlie found Ava sitting outside of the shopping centre, on the bench next to the bus stop. She looked up and noticed big black clouds over head, heading in their direction. She exhaled lightly as she walked over to the bench and took a seat next to her daughter. “Are you going to come back inside?” Charlie said as she shiver slightly, feeling the cold wind run through her.

Ava shook her head “I’m getting the bus away from here”

“Oh right” Charlie said “And where are you going to go?”

“Wherever the bus takes me” Ava answered

“Right and how are you going to pay for it?” Ava shrugged her shoulders as she looked up at her mother. “Why don’t we go back inside and have a little chat?” Charlie asked as she placed her arm around her daughter.

“Am I in trouble?” Ava asked shyly

“I just want to know what’s bothering you sweetie” Charlie said as she lightly rubbed her daughters back. Spots of rain had started to fall and Charlie stood up and held her hand out for her daughter to take. Ava stared at Charlie for a minute before she stood up and took her mother’s hand into hers before they walked back into the shopping centre and took a seat. Charlie looked down at her daughter as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “Now what’s this all about because it’s not like you to go off like that”

Ava shrugged her shoulders as she looked down to the floor. “I just wanted them things” Ava mumbled “Chloe got a new room, and all them clothes and teddies and I was only allowed one thing. It wasn’t fair”

“But sweetie, Chloe needed all that new stuff because she didn’t have anything at all. You’ve got lots of cool things already”

“I know but it still not fair” Ava argued “I just don’t like how you are always with Chloe now and you are never at home for me”

“I am at home for you” Charlie said

“No” Ava shook her head “No Mum, you’re not. You take me to school then are always at the hospital. Ruby or Dad mostly gets me from school and you’ll not be home till dinner then after dinner you go back to the hospital and I’m having to go to bed when you get home for the night, so I don’t ever see you. You always prefer to be with Chloe. She can’t even do anything” Ava said as she threw her hands in the air. You just have to sit there with her. You could play games and stuff with me” Ava said as her eyes glazed over with tears.

Charlie bit her lip “Ava, sweetie…”

“And Ben too” Ava butted in “You pick him up from nursery and have lunch with him and play with him for a bit before you go back. It’s me” Ava cried “You don’t want me anymore”

“Ava, no” Charlie said as she pulled Ava closer to her and wrapped her arms around her “That’s not true. Of course I still want you. I love you so much and that’s never going to change”

“But you love the baby more” Ava said as she pushed herself out of Charlie’s grasp and wiped her hand across the face, wiping away her tears.

“No Ava sweetheart, I love you both the same. You are both my precious little girls” Charlie said as she cupped her hand around Ava’s cheek.

“But you don’t want to be with me, just Chloe” Ava said sadly

“Ava, I’m sorry if it feels that way” Charlie said as she ran her hand though her daughter’s hair. “But, me and your Dad, we need to spend time with Chloe…..”

“But Dad is still at home more than you. You are there a lot more than him” Ava interrupted. “And you still need to spend time with me”

“I’m spending time with you today” Charlie said

“But you are wanting to go to the hospital” Ava said sadly “So you don’t want to spend time with me, just Chloe”

“Ava, I do want to spent time with you. It’s just Chloe isn’t……” Charlie trailed off as she rubbed her forehead. She couldn’t argue with Ava. Ava was right; Charlie had been spending all her time at the hospital with Chloe, and had hardly spent any time with Ava since Chloe’s birth, two weeks beforehand, the first week not entirely her fault, given that she was staying at the hospital, but this week, the only place she ever seemed to be was at the hospital. “I’m sorry for always being at the hospital and your right, I need to spend time with you too, so, I promise you now, that I will manage my time better and be at home with you more”

“Do you pinky promise” Ava asked as she held her pinky out in front of her.

“I pinky promise” Charlie smiled as wrapped her pinky around her daughters. “Now how about we go and meet Dad and Ben and get some lunch?” Charlie asked

“So you are not going to go to the hospital?” Ava asked and Charlie shook her head lightly.

“Nope. I promised today would be spent with you, so, I’m going to stay” Charlie said and Ava smiled up at her mother.

“So what are we going to do after lunch?” Ava asked

“Whatever you want sweetie” Charlie smiled before she stood up. “So, are you coming?” Ava nodded as she jumped down from the seat and wrapped her arms around Charlie, giving her a hug.

“I love you Mum” Ava said

“Love you too baby” Charlie smiled down at her daughter, as she stood in the embrace.

*****

Charlie was putting the new clothes for Chloe away in the nursery when Angelo walked in and across to her. “You should see Ben, he’s running around in his Woody costume playing cowboy, and only answering to Woody” Angelo laughed. Charlie smiled lightly at him before she started to cry, dropping the tiny baby grow she had in her hands to the floor, before falling forward and resting herself against Angelo’s chest. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Angelo asked as he wrapped his arms around her and gently rubbed her back.

“How could I not see what I was doing?” Charlie mumbled as she kept her head pressed firmly against Angelo’s chest.

“Charlie, it’s just a hard time right now with Chloe being in hospital and….”

“No” Charlie shook her head as she pulled back “You manage your time fine between visiting Chloe and being here for the kids. Why can’t I do the same?”

“Because, I think, you want to be beside Chloe to assure yourself that you haven’t let her down” Charlie looked to Angelo somewhat confused “Charlie, you’ve said that if she doesn’t survive you would never forgive yourself. You’ve blamed yourself for what happened and I think this is your way of making up for what you think you've failed on” Angelo cupped his hand around Charlie’s cheek as he wiped away a tear with his thumb.

Charlie nodded lightly as she took a deep breath. “It’s just so hard not having her around. I carried her for months, and then gave birth to her, only for her to be taken away and I can’t give her a proper cuddle or a proper hold, I can’t take her out and show her off to our friends, I can’t be a mother to her like I’m supposed to and it just….being at that hospital looking down at her and doing anything the nurses will let me, it makes me feel like I’m doing some good for her and, yeah your right, I’m making up for what’s happened because I should still be pregnant with her Angelo”

“I know it’s hard” Angelo said “But she is there to get better and soon enough we will be bringing her home and she’ll get into all sorts of mischief with Ava, Ben and Cal” Angelo smiled as he tucked Charlie’s hair behind her ear. “And don’t dwell on the what should still be, we’ll just concentrate on her getting strong and look to that day where we will bring our baby girl home” Charlie nodded lightly as another tear rolled down her cheek.

“I just want her home. I want all my children to be here together”

“I know” Angelo nodded “I do too” Angelo pulled Charlie back into a hug, and the pair stood in the embrace for a moment.

“Dad” Ava said as she ran into the room “Ben wants a drink”

Angelo pulled back from the embrace with Charlie and looked down at his daughter. “I’ll go get him one” Angelo said before leaving the room. Charlie exhaled lightly as she smiled down at Ava.

“You okay baby?” Charlie asked and Ava nodded.

“I’m good and Mummy, I am sorry for what I said about Chloe. I didn’t mean it” Ava said sadly.

“Didn’t mean what sweetie?” Charlie asked

“What I said about not wanting her. Because I do. I really like her and I miss visiting her” Ava said as she looked down to the floor and noticed the baby grow Charlie had dropped earlier. “You dropped one” Ava said as she bent down and picked it up, before handing it to her mother.

“Thanks” Charlie smiled down at Ava as she took the baby grow from her. “And you know if you miss visiting your sister then maybe you could start coming back with me and that way we’ll get to spend more time together, while I spend time with Chloe”

“Yeah the three of us together” Ava smiled “I’d like that”

“So would I” Charlie smiled

“And can we take her new hat to her tonight?” Ava asked as she picked it up from the top of the chest of drawers.

“Yeah of course we can” Charlie smiled as she ran her hand through her daughter’s hair.

“Mum” Ava said shyly as she gave her mother a worried look. “Is Chloe really sick? That’s why she can’t come home?” Charlie exhaled lightly as she took Ava’s hand into her and led her across the room. She sat down on the rocking chair and Ava sat herself up on Charlie’s knee sideways and turned her head up to face her mother as Charlie wrapped her arms around Ava’s waist.

“You know how Chloe was born really early?” Charlie said and Ava nodded

“Yes and that’s why she has to stay in the hospital” Ava said “But is she really sick?”

Charlie exhaled lightly as she bit her lip. “Chloe’s organs haven’t developed properly yet…”

“What do you mean developed?” Ava asked as she pulled puzzled look on her face.

“Ehm…..her organs haven’t grown properly yet” Charlie said

“Like they’re too little still?” Ava asked and Charlie lightly nodded at Ava’s understanding of what she’d meant.

“Yes, her organs haven’t grown properly yet, so they don’t……”

“Her organs?” Ava questioned “Is that like her heart and stuff in here?” Ava said and Charlie nodded lightly as Ava pointed to her stomach.

“Yeah, and you know how she is on that special machine to help her breathing?” Charlie asked and Ava nodded “Well that’s because her lungs haven’t grown properly so it needs to help her, until her lungs gets stronger and she can do it on her own”

“Oh. I understand” Ava said “And the one that beeped and made me scared does that help her too?” Ava asked

“Yeah its help her too” Charlie nodded.

“I wish it wouldn’t beep cos I don’t like it”

“Hey, it a good thing that the machine will beep because it lets us know that something isn’t right with Chloe’s breathing and she can get help”

“Oh. So all them machines are just there to help her?” Ava questioned and Charlie nodded lightly

“That’s right, they are there to help Chloe” Charlie said as she moved Ava’s hair back from in front of her face.

“But they just look scary” Ava said

“I know they do sweetie, but just remember that they are only helping your sister to get better so she can come home and be here with all of us”

“I’d like that” Ava smiled “I’d be good and help with everything”

“Will you?” Charlie questioned “Even the dirty nappies?”

“Ehm” Ava pulled a face “Maybe not the dirty ones. But the wet ones I can do with Cal so I can do Chloe’s too” Ava said and Charlie laughed lightly. “And I’ll give her her baths and her bottle and I’ll rock her to sleep and I’ll…..”

“Wow” Charlie said “So you’re just going to be the Mummy”

“Yeah” Ava giggled as Ruby walked into the room and leaned herself against the wall.

“Hey Rubes” Charlie smiled up at her daughter “You okay?” Ruby gave Charlie a quickly shake of her head in reply.

“Oh what’s the time?” Ava asked

“It’s 6 O’clock, why?” Charlie asked

“Hannah Montana time” Ava screeched as she jumped down from Charlie’s knee and ran from the room.

“I guess I’m too old to sit on your knee” Ruby said as she bowed her head down as her eyes glazed over with tears.

“Oh Ruby” Charlie said as she stood up and walked over to her daughter and pulled her into a hug.

“I’m not too old for this either am I?” Ruby asked as she held tightly onto her mother.

“You’re never too old to hug your mother” Charlie said as she gently rubbed Ruby’s back. “You want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Ruby pulled back from the hug as she wiped a tear from her eye. “How long have you got?” Ruby asked

“As long as it takes” Charlie said softly

“Don’t you need to go and see Chloe after being out with Ava and Ben all day?” Charlie exhaled lightly as she shook her head. Although she was dying to go and see her baby she was needed here more right now.

“You need me, Rubes” Charlie said “I’m not going anywhere right now. I can spend all day with Chloe tomorrow”

Ruby smiled lightly before she walked out of Chloe’s room and down the hall and into her bedroom with Charlie following her. They both sat down on the bed and Ruby took a deep breath before talking again. “I thought I had my mind made up about this” Ruby said as she lightly hit her stomach “But after seeing Jay today” Ruby shook her head as she trailed off. “Look at who the father is. How can I have his child after what he did? But then it’s my little baby and someone who I know I would love and want. Mum, what do I do? You have to tell me because I can’t decide what’s right”

“Rubes” Charlie shook her head lightly “I can’t tell you what to do. It’s your decision to make. But as you said it’s your baby, and I don’t think it’s fair to punish the child just because of who the father is and whatever he may have done, so if Jay being the father is the only reason you have for wanting to abort this baby then I don’t think you should do it. No matter what he did, it’s not fair to punish the child when it’s done nothing wrong. But if you have other reasons…..”

“I could name a few” Ruby said “Besides Jay being the father, I’m single, I have a young son already, I’m not in a good place financially to have a second child, and I can’t do it alone…..”

“Hey, I’ve told you so many times you wouldn’t be alone. Rubes, you’re always going to have my help and support no matter what”

Ruby smiled at her mother for a moment before it fell from her face. “And what about Gina. What would having this baby do to her?”

“It doesn’t matter about Gina” Charlie said “You need to make this decision based on what is best for you” Charlie said as she placed her hand onto Ruby’s arm. “What you want to do is all that matters right now. So, if you decide to keep this baby then Gina will come round eventually, she just needs time to understand the situation and everything else will work itself out in time. But if you decide you want to abort this baby, then you’ll still have my support, and Angelo’s and Nicole, not matter what you do, you’ll have people who love you here to support you through it” Ruby smiled once more at her mother before she placed her hand onto her stomach.

“I went to the grave today too” Ruby said, and Charlie pulled in face in confusion at Ruby changing the subject. “I could have stayed and talked to him all day if it wasn’t for the rain, it was so heavy in the city…..anyways, I asked him what I should do. I know I won’t really get an answer so it was pretty stupid really but it just felt so right, being there with Xavier and talking to him. I miss him so much Mum…..” Ruby said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“I know you do” Charlie said as she put her arm around Ruby and offered her some comfort. She felt so helpless. She didn’t really know what she could do or say to help make Ruby feel better. So for now hug was simply all she could offer her.

[Danni02]

Cally, Chester-Sam, Sarah, Rach Loves H&A and Charis, thank you all so much for the lovely comments. I hope you like this next one.

Chapter 89

Charlie and Ruby walked down the stairs after continuing their chat about Xavier, before going on to talk about Jay and the baby some more, although Ruby seemed no further forward in her decision of what she should do about the baby. They walked into the living room to find Ava sitting watching Hannah Montana, while Angelo and Ben were playing with one of Ben’s train sets. “Ruby?” Ava questioned as she looked up from the TV to her sister. “Where is Callum?”

“He’s still at Nicole’s” Ruby said as she sat down on the couch next to her sister.

“Oh, are you going to bring him home?”

“Yeah, I will go get him soon” Ruby said as Ava nodded understandingly.

“So Mum are we going to see Chloe tonight?” Ava asked

“Yes” Charlie answered “We are going to go now”

“Did you get the hat?” Ava asked and Charlie shook her head. “I’ll get it” Ava said as she stood up from the couch and ran from the room.

“Oh, so Ava is coming with us?” Angelo asked, sounding rather surprised as he made his way over to where Charlie was standing, leaving Ben sitting playing on his own.

“Yeah, she is” Charlie smiled “What about you Benny?” Charlie asked as she looked down to her son, but she got no reply. Ben kept his head down and continued to play. “Ben” Charlie said again.

“Remember he is Woody now” Ava giggled as she ran back into the room clutching onto the hat and, yet another teddy to take to the hospital. Upon hearing Woody, Ben looked up to his parents.

“Are you coming to the hospital?” Charlie asked and Ben shook his head.

“I don’t like it” Ben said his common response loudly as he jumped up to his feet.

“Right well you’ll have to go with Ruby then because you can’t stay here on your own” Angelo said. Ben ran across the room and stood next to Ruby.

“Where are we going?” Ben asked

“To get Callum” Ruby said as she stood up from the couch. “Maybe Nicole can give me some good advice on what I should do” Ruby said as she looked up to Charlie.

“Maybe” Charlie said “But like I said….”

“I know I know” Ruby nodded “It’s my choice…I shouldn’t let anyone else’s opinion influence me…I shouldn’t put it on anyone else to tell me what I should do...and I won’t, I just want to talk about it more”

“Okay, that’s fine” Charlie smiled lightly at Ruby before Ava stared pulling on her hand.

“I want to see Chloe now. It’s been ages since I last saw her” Ava said

“We’re going now” Charlie said as everyone started to make their way out of the house with Angelo, Charlie and Ava getting into Angelo’s car, and Ruby and Ben following, and getting into Ruby’s car.

*****

“Ruby, Ben, come in” Geoff smiled as he answered the door. “Wow, I love your outfit Benny” Geoff said as he looked down at Ben, dressed in his Woody costume. Ben smiled before he ran into the room and over to Jessica and the pair began to play. As Callum saw his mother he started to wriggle in Nicole’s arms and tried to reach out for his mother. Ruby walked into the house and took her son into her arms, as she gently placed a kiss on top of his head.

“Hey baby” Ruby smiled as Callum snuggled himself into Ruby’s shoulder as he yawned. She gently rubbed his back as she took a seat on the couch, next to Nicole. “Thanks for watching him today” Ruby smiled

“It’s no problem” Nicole smiled

“Yeah none at all. Anytime Rubes” Geoff said as he sat down on the chair next to the couch. “It’s nice having a baby in the house again” Geoff said as he looked to Nicole and smiled.

“No, no, no, no, no” Nicole shook her head knowing what Geoff was suggesting.

“Nic” Geoff sighed “You said when Jessica was 3 we’d start trying again”

“No, what I said was we’d talk about it” Nicole said “And we did and I’m not ready to have another baby”

“But I am” Geoff said

“Easy for you to say” Nicole raised her voice.

“Ahem” Ruby cleared her throat as she looked from Geoff to Nicole, as she began to feel uncomfortable in the room.

“Sorry” Nicole said as looked to Ruby.

“Yeah” Geoff cleared his throat as he stood up “Can I get you a coffee or tea or anything?” Geoff asked

“Tea would be great thanks” Ruby smiled

“Ben mate, do you want a drink?” Geoff asked but he got no reply from him. “Ben” Geoff said again before looking around to Ruby.

“Oh if you call him Woody he’ll answer” Ruby laughed

“Woody” Geoff nodded “of course, makes sense. Hey, Woody mate, do you want a drink?”

“Orange” Ben answered

“Orange what?” Ruby said as she gave her brother a look.

“Orange please” Ben answered

“Jessica you want one?” Geoff asked

“Yes please Daddy” Jessica said before Geoff walked into the kitchen.

“I’d love a tea too babe” Nicole said as she turned her head to the kitchen where Geoff had walked off too. Geoff mumbled something back before Ruby and Nic jumped slightly as they heard a cupboard door banging shut.

“Sorry, I hope I haven’t…..” Ruby started

“No, no” Nicole shook her head “You haven’t done anything. He’s been going on about it for months”

“Here’s Geoff desperate for another baby and I’m thinking of aborting mines” Ruby said as Geoff walked back into the room and handed the kids their juice.

“Did you just say you are having an abortion?” Geoff asked as he looked to Ruby. Ruby shifted her now asleep son in her arms as she looked nervously at Geoff.

“I did” Ruby replied quietly.

“Since when have you even been pregnant?” Geoff asked before his eyes widened “Oh my…Jay’s the….whoa….look Rubes I know it’s.....wait, how long have you known?” Geoff asked as he looked to Nicole.

“Must be about a week now” Nicole said

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Geoff asked

“Because it was wasn’t for me to tell” Nicole said

“Nic, we are married we don’t keep secrets from each other” Geoff raised his voice

“It’s not like it was something to do with me I was keeping from you like say, I don’t know, pashing your wife’s best mate. Weren’t going to tell me that one were you Geoff?”

“Oh Nic that was….”

“Guys” Ruby shouted causing Geoff and Nicole to look round at Ruby. “C’mon, Geoff I asked Nicole not to tell you. I didn’t know what I was doing so I didn’t want a lot of people of knowing”

“What do you mean you don’t know what you are doing?” Geoff asked “You have to have this baby. Abortion is wrong, its murder, it goes against everything I believe in”

“Yeah, everything you believe in, Geoff” Nicole said “Not Ruby and if she wants to abort this baby then she can”

“I can’t let her get an abortion” Geoff said “It’s wrong. She wound up with an unplanned pregnancy, so what she punishes the child for her mistake? If you don’t want the baby then you can adopt it out, don’t end its life”

“I can’t” Ruby shook her head “That would be even worse, having the child and then giving it up. Knowing I had a child out there somewhere, it would be…..” Ruby trailed off “I couldn’t”

“And how could you live on knowing you killed your child?” Geoff asked

“Geoff that’s enough” Nicole shouted “Go and run a bath for Jessica, it’s almost her bedtime” Geoff looked to Nicole briefly before looking back at Ruby and shaking his head in disgust before he walked away up the stairs. “I’m so sorry….”

“You don’t need to be sorry for Geoff’s opinion” Ruby said “But speaking about Geoff…is everything okay with you two?”

Nicole bit her lip as she looked down, pulling on a loose thread on the cushion that she was holding. “Like I said, he wants another baby and I don’t. At least not right now, and it’s just putting a bit of stain on us…..but we were talking about you so….”

“It seems like that’s all we’ve ever done lately” Ruby said as she once again shifted her sleeping son in her arms. “Nic, if you’ve been having troubles you know you could have talked to me about them”

“I know but I just thought…..your issues seemed way more important than mines, and you’ve lost Xavier, I didn’t think you’d want to talk about my marriage problems and….”

“Nic” Ruby shook her head “Don’t ever think that. You know I’d always be here to listen and help you out, no matter what was going on with me”

“Any suggestions on how we deal with this then?” Nicole asked, with almost a pleading look in her eyes.

“Don’t let it get to where my parents did” Ruby mumbled before Geoff shouted something from up the stairs.

“Jessica its bath time. Daddy’s upstairs waiting for you” Nicole said as she looked to her daughter. Jessica jumped up from the spot where she was playing with Ben and ran across the room and up the stairs. Nicole turned back round to face Ruby. “So you were saying?”

“Ehm….I don’t really know” Ruby shook her head “Is there any reason why you don’t want another child right now? Is it just that you’re simply not ready for all that again?”

“Yeah, I just don’t feel ready for another baby. If I am honest Jessica is enough for me and I wouldn’t be bothered if we never had anymore. But Geoff want’s another one so what do we do?” Nicole asked as she continued to pull on the cushion thread.

“When Mum fell pregnant with Chloe she…..well she never wanted the baby. She didn’t want any more after Ben, although Angelo did, so when he found out Mum was pregnant he was over the moon, he was so excited. Same couldn’t have been said for Mum though. But seeing how much Angelo wanted the baby, she kept it and I’m not going to lie to you, it took her a while but eventually she started to feel something for the baby and now she wouldn’t be without Chloe….”

Nicole nodded her head lightly as she took in what Ruby was saying. “I know if I had another child for Geoff, I would love it, there’s no doubt about that, but can’t Geoff just be happy with Jessica and accept she’s all he’ll get? Because if he loves me, surely he can sacrifice his second child for me?”

“Well I guess” Ruby said “I think this is something that you and Geoff need to sit down and have a proper chat about and try to work it out”

“Last time we tried that Geoff stormed off because I said I wasn’t ready. It’s so easy for him to say he’s ready; he doesn’t have to do anything till the baby arrives”

“I know” Ruby said “But Nic, just try and talk calmly about this with him because you need to work it out before it ends up destroying your marriage. You don’t want that, do you?”

“No, of course not” Nicole said “I love Geoff so much; I want to be with him forever”

“Then you really need to work this out and reach a common ground because otherwise that might not happen” Ruby said softy as reached one hand out and gently squeezed Nicole’s arm. Nicole looked down at Callum who was sleeping in Ruby’s arm and exhaled lightly.

“I know. Thanks Ruby” Nicole said “And Geoff never did get you that cup of tea. Let me make you one” Nicole said as she went to stand up.

“No, no, its fine. I should get this one home” Ruby said as she looked down to her son. “And probably Ben too. Bath and bedtime” Ruby said and Nicole smiled as she followed Ruby to the door. “C’mon you” Ruby said as she looked across to Ben who ran across the room as Nicole gave Ruby a hug. “It’ll be alright. You’ll work it out” Ruby smiled lightly.

“Yeah. I hope so” Nicole replied apprehensively before watching Ruby walking back to her car.

*****

Charlie, Ava and Angelo walked into the NICU and over to Chloe. Erin and David were both by her side, which slightly panicked Charlie. She looked up to Angelo and saw he had the same look plastered across his face to how she was feeling. He took her hand into his and gave it a gently squeeze and he gave his best attempt to give her a reassuring smile. “Is everything okay?” Angelo asked tentatively as he looked to Erin then to David.

“Fine” David smiled “I just wanted to check on her after her transfusion”

“Okay good” Angelo smiled “Are we able to kangaroo care today?”

“Yes that’s not a problem” David said before he picked up his clipboard from the top of the incubator and excused himself from the room.

“Nurse Erin, I brought Chloe a new teddy” Ava smiled as she handed the little bear to Erin

“Wow” Erin grinned “She’s one lucky girl getting all these teddies” Erin said as she placed it on top of the incubator next to the other 4 that were already there.

“Yeah” Ava nodded “And we got her a new hat. Can I put it on her now?”

“Ehm yes, I guess you can” Erin said before looking up to Charlie and then Angelo. “So who wants to kangaroo care?” Erin asked

Charlie’s held her hand up in front of her immediately. “I do” Charlie said and Erin smiled as she opened the side of the incubator down as Charlie sat down and got herself ready to hold her daughter.

“Why are you taking off your top Mum?” Ava asked

“Because I need to for this special way I’m going to hold Chloe” Charlie answered as she unclipped her bra and took it off.

“Mum” Ava said sounding shocked at what Charlie was doing. “Your bra too. You can’t sit naked”

“I’m not going to sit naked” Charlie laughed as Erin gently placed Chloe upright onto Charlie’s chest, placing the tubes and wires gently over Charlie’s shoulder, before she placed a blanket over the baby, which also covered Charlie, much to the approval of Ava.

“Oh I see” Ava said “That’s okay then. So do I get to put the new hat on her now?” Ava asked as she looked up to Erin and smiled angelically.

“Ehm, yes” Erin said as she took the hat Chloe was already wearing off of her.

“Ava you be very gentle” Angelo said and Ava nodded as she stepped closer to where Charlie was sitting cradling Chloe in her arms. She very gently put the hat onto Chloe with a little help from Erin.

“She looks really cute in that one” Ava smiled “I like it. Dad can you take a picture of us?” Ava asked as she bent down next to the seat Charlie was sitting in and put her hand on top of Charlie’s. “It’s like I am holding her too” Ava smiled as she watched Angelo taking the camera out from his pocket, before plastering an even bigger grin on her face as Angelo snapped some pictures. “Am I allowed to hold her?” Ava asked once Angelo had put the camera away.

“Not right now, Ava” Erin said as she lightly shook her head.

“When can I?” Ava asked

“When she gets a little stronger” Erin said and Ava sighed lightly.

“So, is she still only allowed out for half an hour at the moment?” Angelo asked and Erin nodded.

“Yes, so are we doing 15 minutes each again?” Erin asked

“Ye-“Charlie started to reply but Angelo spoke over her.

“No. I’ll let Charlie have her for the 30 minutes today. I’ll have a little hold tomorrow” Angelo said

“Angelo?” Charlie questioned

“Charlie, you really need this time with her today” Angelo said as he bent down in front of Charlie and placed his hand onto her shoulder. Charlie looked deep into Angelo eyes and smiled at him. “And look” Angelo said as he pointed to Chloe who was sleeping in Charlie’s arms. “She all cosy and settled. I couldn’t possibly disturb her now” Charlie gave Angelo a thankful smile before she looked back down at her daughter. She gently placed a kiss on Chloe’s head before she ran her finger down Chloe’s soft arm. Charlie smiled as Chloe reacted to the contact of Charlie's finger. Ava looked to her little sister, smiling as she kept her hand on her mothers. Angelo looked to his wife, who never looked away from Chloe and smiled as he watched Charlie have the closeness with Chloe that she had so desperately craved.

*****

Ruby walked into the house, her son still sleeping soundly in her arms, and Ben jumping around in front of her talking away about Woody and Buzz, although Ruby wasn’t really paying attention to her younger brother, as she had an intense pain in her stomach. “Ben” Ruby said before taking a deep breath. “Please….stop”

“But its Toy Story” Ben shrieked

“Yeah, great” Ruby said “C’mon you need to get a bath then go to bed” Ruby said as she ushered her brother up the stairs.

“No, I won’t. I won’t” Ben yelled before he ran away from Ruby and into his bedroom. Ruby sighed lightly as she walked into her bedroom and lay her sleeping son down into his cot before running her hand over her stomach as she winced before walking through to the bathroom.

“C’mon into the bathroom now” Ruby said as she turned the taps on and began to run a bath for her brother.

“I don’t need one” Ben yelled from his room. Ruby exhaled lightly as she walked into Ben’s room and found him making a start to drawing a picture.

“C’mon Ben, you need to have a bath” Ruby said

“I’m not Ben. I’m Woody” Ben said as he glared at Ruby

“Sure you are” Ruby rolled her eyes “Look, just come for your bath now, and then I’ll read you a story in your bed”

“No, cowboys don’t have baths” Ben yelled

“Yes they do” Ruby said

“No” Ben shook his head as he flung himself back so he was lying on the floor and kicking and screaming.

“Ben, stop that now” Ruby said sternly. Ruby was met with more screams as Ben kicked his legs out towards her. Sighing heavily she ran her hand over her stomach before leaving the room and walking to the bathroom. She switched off the taps before kneeling onto the floor and placing her hands between her legs, feeling the blood that was seeping through her clothes.

[Danni02]

Thank you all so much for the comments. They mean so much to me and really keep me going! I hope you like this next one.

Chapter 90

Ruby pushed herself up from the floor so she was leaning against the bathtub, before attempting to stand, but she couldn’t muster the strength, so she stayed slumped against the bathtub as she felt the blood, wet and sticky between her legs. “Mum” Ruby called out as she heard the front door closing and the sound voices walking through the house. “Mum” Ruby called out again, louder this time as she heard footsteps on the stairs. Ruby looked up as the bathroom door swung open and Ava came running in.

“Oh Ruby….I needed to use the bathroom” Ava said before walking across the room to her sister, and noticed something wasn’t right with Ruby. “Ruby?” Ava questioned “What’s wrong?” Ava asked as she knelt down beside her sister and placed her hand onto her shoulder.

“Ava can you go and get Mum for me?” Ruby asked as she looked round to Ava. Ava jumped up from the spot and ran from the room, before she could be heard thumping down the stairs. Moments later and Ruby was relieved to see Charlie walking into the bathroom. “Mum” Ruby said “what’s wrong? Am I…Mum” Ruby looked up to Charlie.

“Oh sweetheart” Charlie said as she looked down to her daughter and saw the blood. She walked across the room and knelt down next to her daughter, wrapping her arm around her as she gave her a comforting hug.

“And Ben” Ruby said “I tried to give him a bath but he…..”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay” Charlie said as she ran her hand through Ruby’s hair. “Don’t worry about Ben. Just you get yourself cleaned up and we’ll go to the hospital and see what’s going on, okay?” Charlie said as she looked down at Ruby who nodded her head lightly. Charlie stood up from the spot in which she was sitting and left the room, so Ruby could clean herself up. She walked down the hall and into Ben’s bedroom to find her son lying on the floor, fast asleep, a crayon in his hand and still in his Woody outfit. She smiled lightly as she walked further into the room and gently lifted her son up and over to his bed. She took the crayon from his grasp before beginning to undress him.

“Mummy” Ben said sleepily as his eyes opened. “I’m sleeping, don’t”

“I know baby” Charlie said as she pulled Ben’s trousers off him. “You can go back to sleep”

“I need my pyjamas” Ben yawned

“Hey, is everything alright?” Angelo asked as he walked in Ben’s room. Charlie shook her head lightly as she looked up to her husband.

“I think she’s losing the baby” Charlie said in a whisper, although it was unintended. Angelo placed his hand over his mouth in shock as Charlie stood before him, her eyes glazing over with tears for her daughter. “I’m going to take her…..” Charlie trailed off as Angelo nodded understanding what she was going to say.

“Let me sort him out” Angelo said as he stepped further into the room and took the pyjama bottoms from Charlie’s hands before looking down at his son who had nodded off to sleep again. “Just go and be with Ruby” Charlie gave Angelo a weak smile before she left the room, finding Ruby walking out of her bedroom, having changed herself. They silently made their way out of the house and into Charlie’s car, remaining silent for the whole of the journey, Charlie not quite sure what she should say to her daughter. Ruby sat with her head down, a blank expression plastered across her face as she kept running her hand over her stomach. Charlie pulled into a parking space before they got out of the car and walked into the hospital, once again both remaining silent. They took a seat in the waiting room and waited for the doctor to see to Ruby. Charlie opened her mouth and made to say something but Ruby shook her head.

“Don’t. Just please don’t say anything” Ruby said as she placed her hand onto Charlie’s arm. Charlie put her other hand on top of Ruby’s and gave her hand comforting squeeze.

“Ruby” Dr Walker said as he stood in front of them. Ruby stood and began to follow Sid down the corridor before turning her head round to face Charlie.

“Mum” Ruby said as she made a head gesture for Charlie to come with her. Charlie immediately stood up and followed them down the hall and into the room.

“So, Ruby what can I help you with today?” Sid asked as they took a seat in the room.

“I had really bad cramps and there was blood. There was so much blood” Ruby said quietly, not really showing any emotion as she spoke.

“Okay” Sid gave a gently nod before he gave Charlie a quick glance. He could see from the look on her face that she knew. “Ruby, I’m going to take an ultrasound to check, but I have to tell you, that there is a high possibility that you are suffering a miscarriage” As Sid spoke Charlie placed her hand gently onto Ruby’s arm and gave her a comforting squeeze.

“Right” Ruby nodded as she kept the same blank expression on her face.

“So, if you just want to lay on the bed there for me” Sid said and Ruby stood up from the chair and got herself up onto the bed. As Sid performed the ultrasound on Ruby, she looked straight ahead at the wall, not even looking at the screen. She sat unsure of what she wanted Sid to tell her. On the one hand losing this baby might be for the best all things considered, but on the other, this was her baby and something that deep down she knew she wanted and felt something for. Charlie looked to Ruby and her heart began beating faster as she waited for confirmation on what deep down she already knew had happened. Sid exhaled lightly before looking to Charlie, a sorry expression plastered across his face. Charlie pursed her lips together as she tightened her grip on Ruby’s hand. Sid took a deep breath before he looked down to Ruby. “I’m sorry” Ruby heard the words fall slowly out of Sid’s mouth. Sid and Charlie both looked to Ruby who was still staring directly in front of her, a blank expression upon her face. “Ruby” Sid said after a long period of silence, but after no reply he looked to Charlie, who eyes had glazed over with tears, and she was trying desperately not to let one fall.

“Rubes, darling” Charlie said as she lightly moved Ruby’s hair from in front of her face. Ruby looked to Charlie, her expression not changing.

“I could have stopped this” Ruby said as she looked from Charlie to Sid. “I had spotting for the last few days, I should have said something and maybe it would have been okay now”

“Ruby, spotting in pregnancy, it doesn’t always mean miscarriage” Sid said softly

“I know. I had spotting with Cal, that’s why I didn’t say anything. I assumed it was the same, but I shouldn’t have just assumed. I should have checked it out and maybe I could have stopped this happening”

“Ruby” Sid lightly shook his head “This, it was going to happen. I’m sorry but there was nothing you could have done”

“Well I guess that’s my choice made” Ruby said “So do I have to stay here for any longer or can I just go home now?”

“You can go home” Sid said and Ruby immediately jumped down from the bed and left the room. Charlie exhaled lightly before she stood up from the seat and smiled lightly at Sid.

“Thanks for seeing her so quickly” Charlie said

“It’s alright” Sid said before he exhaled. “Charlie, make sure she…”

“I know” Charlie nodded “I’ll make sure she’s alright” Charlie said before she left the room and walked down the corridor after Ruby.

*****

“Ava sweetie, are you ready?” Charlie shouted as she stood at the bottom of the stairs and looked upwards.

“Just a minute” Ava yelled down and Charlie exhaled lightly before she walked along the hall and into the kitchen.

“Mummy, Daddy is going to take me fishing this morning” Ben said excitedly as he jumped up and down on the spot.

“Wow” Charlie said as she looked down at her son. “That’ll be fun”

“Yeah” Ben screeched “I’ll get my things” Ben said before he disappeared from the room.

“So, is he going by Ben or Woody today?” Charlie asked before laughing lightly.

“Ben so far” Angelo laughed as he tidied Ben’s breakfast dishes away. “So, how’s Ruby this morning?” Angelo asked as he looked around to Charlie. She had spent the night in her room since returning from the hospital, not talking to anyone, and now the next morning, she still hadn’t appeared out.

Charlie shook her head lightly as she leaned herself against the worktop. “I took her in some breakfast but I don’t think ate it. She didn’t really say much either”

“I guess we shouldn’t push her” Angelo said “It must be a hard time right now”

“Yeah” Charlie nodded “It’s horrible. You feel like you failed, like you….” Charlie began to recall how she felt back when she had her miscarriage, but paused when Ruby came into the room.

“Morning” Ruby said cheerily as she put her breakfast dishes into the dishwasher “So, I’m going to go into town. Look for a job, take Cal to the park, might pop in and see Nicole” Ruby said as she looked up to Charlie. “Anything you want me to get you?” Charlie and Angelo both looked to Ruby, slightly surprised at the mood she was in, given what had just happened.

“Eh…no” Charlie shook her head “No thanks” Charlie said before looking to Angelo.

“Right, see you later then” Ruby smiled before she left the room.

“She seems….” Angelo trailed off

“It’ll hit her eventually” Charlie said “I mean it took me a while to grieve after I lost our baby. Given Ava was missing and I’d broke things off with you, it was something else I had to deal with, but I got there eventually, and Ruby will too. We just have to let her deal with this in her own time, in her own way” Angelo nodded lightly as he listened to what Charlie said before Ava came running into the room.

“Ready Mum” Ava grinned

“Right. Well I’ll see you at the hospital this afternoon” Charlie said as she looked up at Angelo.

“Yes. I’ll try and get Ben to come see her today” Angelo said and Charlie nodded as she picked up her bag from the kitchen table, before she left the room with Ava.

“Mum, can I sit in the front?” Ava asked as she stood at the front passenger side of the car, as she waited for Charlie to unlock the car doors.

“Oh I suppose so” Charlie said as she unlocked her car and Ava gave a little jump in excitement before she opened the door and jumped into the car, throwing her bag down onto the floor. Charlie pulled out of the drive way and turned right, which highly confused Ava.

“Mum, I thought we were going to the beach, it’s not this way” Ava said as she looked round to her mother.

“I know” Charlie said “There’s just somewhere else we need to go first”

“Oh where is it?” Ava asked, intrigued.

“You’ll find out when we get there” Charlie said and Ava pulled a face.

“Is it….the hospital to see Chloe?” Ava asked

“No, we are going there after lunch” Charlie said

“Oh….is it……what’s this way?” Ava asked “I don’t remember” Charlie laughed lightly as she turned to the right. “Oh, I know” Ava said “It’s this way to the shopping centre. What are we needing there?”

“I need to pick some stuff up for Chloe” Charlie said and Ava’s face saddened.

“Oh okay” Ava said before she turned her head and looked out of the window, remaining silent for the rest of the journey. Charlie smiled lightly as she drove into the car park and found herself a parking space.

“C’mon” Charlie said as she gestured for Ava to get out of the car. Ava sighed lightly before she opened the door and jumped out of the car. Charlie took her daughters hand before she walked with her across the car park and into the shopping centre.

“What is it you are needing?” Ava asked

“You’ll see” Charlie said as she smiled down at her daughter as they walked through the shopping centre before stopping outside of the Disney store.

“Disney?” Ava said as she looked up at Charlie “What can you get Chloe in here?”

“Nothing, we’re not shopping for Chloe” Charlie said

“But you said…..”

“I know what I said” Charlie laughed “I just wanted to surprise you when we got here”

“Oh” Ava smiled as she looked up at Charlie.

“Go and get what you wanted sweetie” Charlie said as she lightly pushed her daughter forward and Ava grinned as she ran into the shop, with Charlie following behind her. Ava picked out the Hannah Montana pyjama’s and looked up at Charlie.

“Thank you so much Mum” Ava grinned before she wrapped her arms around her mother and gave her a hug.

“You’re very welcome sweetie” Charlie grinned as she ran her hand through her daughter’s hair. “C’mon, let’s go get this paid for” Ava pulled back from the hug and skipped up to the counter and handed the sales assistant the pyjama’s, a big grin present on her face. Charlie paid for them before they left the shop, Ava skipping happily next to Charlie as they made their way back to the car, swinging the bag in her hand.

“I’m going to wear these tonight” Ava said happily as she jumped into the car and put the bag down on the floor in front of her. Charlie smiled at Ava, before she pulled the car out of the car park and made her way back along the road, and drove in the bay, before parking the car near the beach. “Can I have an ice-cream please?” Ava asked as she jumped out of the car, before she picked up her bag and banged the car door shut.

“Sure you can sweetie” Charlie said and Ava smiled before she ran over to the kiosk and asked for a strawberry cornetto. Charlie paid for the ice cream before she walked down to the beach with her daughter, and lay their towels down on the sand before they sat down. They sat in silence for a few minutes, before Ava looked up to Charlie, a look of pure wonder on her face.

“Mum?” Ava said before she took a lick of her ice cream.

“Yes Ava” Charlie said

“Well I was wondering something” Ava said

“Oh and what’s that?” Charlie asked as she lightly ran her hand over Ava’s head.

“Well it’s something I’ve been thinking for a long, long time”

“Right” Charlie said “And what have you been thinking?”

“How come Ruby called Dad Angelo for so long and Dad sometimes but now it’s nearly always Dad? Shouldn’t you call your Dad, Dad always?” Ava asked. Charlie sat unsure of what to reply. She’d never really thought about telling Ava about Angelo not being Ruby’s real Dad, and since she’d never asked about Ruby calling Angelo, Angelo before she’d never felt the need to say anything.

Charlie exhaled lightly before she looked down at her daughter. “Your Dad isn’t Ruby’s biologi-” Charlie paused half way through the word, realising Ava wouldn’t understand what biological meant. “Your Dad isn’t Ruby’s real Dad” Charlie said and Ava scrunched her face up as she looked at her mother.

“Oh” Ava said “But why not?”

Charlie took a deep breath as she turned whole body round to face her daughter. “Before I met your Dad, I was with someone else, and we had Ruby together, so he is Ruby’s real Dad”

“But Ruby doesn’t talk about him or see him does she?” Ava asked

“No” Charlie shook her head not saying any more about Grant and hoping that Ava wouldn’t ask any more questions either.

“So that’s why she calls my Dad, Dad because he be’s her Dad instead?” Ava asked

“Yeah” Charlie nodded “That’s right”

“So is she still my sister?” Ava asked

“Yeah, of course she is” Charlie said as she gently tucked Ava’s hair behind her ear. Ava smiled at Charlie before it fell from her face and she pulled another puzzled expression.

“But if Dad isn’t Ruby’s real Dad then why does he tell people she is his daughter?” Ava asked

“Because your Dad loves Ruby very much and he thinks of her just like his own” Charlie said

“And does Ruby think of Dad as her Dad?” Ava asked

“Yeah, I think she does” Charlie smiled

“Okay. Thank you for answering me Mum” Ava smiled “Can we make sandcastles now?”

“Sure we can sweetheart” Charlie smiled as she watched Ava pulling the buckets and spades out of her bag. She exhaled lightly as she thought about the conversation she’d just had with her daughter, and hoped she had enough answers about Ruby’s real Dad, for she didn’t want to face having to talk about Grant again.

[Danni02]

Thank you so much Cally, Rach Loves H&A, Sarah, Charis and Chester-Sam for commenting. Hope you like this next one.

Chapter 91

Nicole sat down on the couch as she handed Ruby a cup of tea. “Thanks” Ruby smiled at Nicole before taking a drink. “So, have you spoken to Geoff yet?” Ruby asked as she leaned forward and placed her cup down on the coffee table.

“Eh….yeah” Nicole nodded as she ran her finger over her wedding ring. “We had a little talk last night”

“And how did it go?” Ruby asked tentatively

“We came to a compromise. I guess” Nicole said “We’re going to have another baby, but we’re not going to start trying for around a year”

Ruby smiled before she leaned forward and picked up her cup of tea. “Well that’s good you sorted it” Ruby said and Nicole nodded as she watched Ruby taking a drink of her tea.

“Yeah, it is” Nicole said “Hopefully things won’t be as tense anymore. But anyways, how are you since last night? I’m so sorry about Geoff. I told him he was way wrong for talking to you like that and should apologise to you. I think he is going to, he did say he realised he went a bit far, so hopefully you get an apology from him”

“Its fine” Ruby said “And it’s all been sorted with the baby anyways”

“What do you mean sorted?” Nicole asked, slightly confused “You mean you are getting an abortion? Or you’ve decided to….”

“No, no, I mean….I lost the baby” Ruby said “So that’s that. I don’t have to think about it anymore” Nicole sat, shocked at what Ruby had just said and at how she had said it so calmly, showing no grief or sadness at having lost her baby.

“Rubes” Nicole said softly as she leaned forward and placed her hand onto Ruby’s arm “When did….when….”

“Last night when I got home from being here, it happened” Ruby said “Mum took me to the hospital and they confirmed it”

“Rubes” Nicole exhaled lightly “I’m so sorry. How…..”

“No its fine” Ruby shook her head “I’m fine”

“Ruby, you’ve just lost your baby…..”

“I’m well aware of that” Ruby snapped “I was there when it happened, you know”

“Rubes, you need to let yourself grieve for this loss. Bottling things up, it’s not good. It’s okay for you to be upset about what happened. It’s okay to cry” Nicole said softly as she moved closer to Ruby and gently put her hand on her back in a comforting manner.

“What good is crying going to do? Crying isn’t going to change anything, crying isn’t going to bring the baby back, so what’s the point Nicole? Please tell me what the point is in grieving?”

“It might just….it’ll make you feel better” Nicole said as she lightly rubbed Ruby’s back.

“No, it doesn’t” Ruby said as she shrugged Nicole’s hand off her back. “Because I have tried. I have cried and cried and cried some more since losing Xavier and it doesn’t make me feel any better. I still wake up every day feeling like crap because I don’t have him by my side” Ruby shook her head she pushed back a tear that wanted to fall. “So don’t sit there and tell me what grieving can do, because it doesn’t make me feel any better. The baby is gone and that’s that. So no amount of crying is going to change anything” Ruby said as she stood up from the couch and started to make her way to the door.

“Rubes....” Nicole said as she stood up and waked after Ruby. Ruby looked up at Nicole as she placed her hands onto the handles of Callum’s buggy.

“I need to get this one home. He should be in his cot. It’s not fair to make him sleep in this all night”

“Just stay a little longer” Nicole said “We can talk, about anything you want. I won’t make you deal with the miscarriage”

Ruby shook her head as she pushed the buggy out of the door. “I’m going home” Ruby said as she walked out of the house, and made her way down to her car. Nicole sighed lightly as she rubbed her forehead, watching Ruby walking away from the house.

*****

“Mum” Ava said as she ran into Charlie’s bedroom “Look, my new pyjamas” Ava grinned as she twirled around a couple of times.

“Oh they’re really nice” Charlie smiled as Ava jumped up onto Charlie’s bed as she nodded.

“Can you brush my hair” Ava asked as she held her arm out, pointing her brush in Charlie’s direction.

“Sure” Charlie smiled as she sat down on the bed behind Ava, and took the brush from her daughter.

“Mum” Ava asked “You know Ruby’s real Dad, well does he not live in the Bay?”

“No, he doesn’t” Charlie said before she bit her lip, wondering how many questions Ava had for her this time.

“Is that why she doesn’t see him then?” Ava asked

“Eh no….Ruby’s real Dad is dead” Charlie said slowly and immediately regretted saying it after she did.

“Oh what happened?”

“He…” Charlie paused as she continued to run the brush through her daughter’s hair. “There was an accident and he was hurt badly”

“Oh. Were you sad when he died?” Ava asked. Charlie exhaled lightly as she stopped brushing Ava’s hair and looked down. “Mum?” Ava said after a moment of silence. When she still received no reply Ava turned herself around on the bed so she was facing her mother. “Have I made you sad?”

“No, no, sweetie you’ve not made me sad” Charlie shook her head as she looked back up to her daughter. “All you need to know is Ruby’s Dad, we never really had anything to do with him, and he wasn’t around for Ruby when she was born and….”

“Oh so she never ever had him for a Dad, and that’s why she has my Dad as her Dad?” Ava questioned

“Yup that’s right” Charlie nodded as she tucked Ava’s hair behind her ear.

“Okay” Ava smiled as she took her brush from Charlie’s hand and jumped down from the bed. “Mum do I have to go to school tomorrow?” Ava asked

“Yes you do” Charlie laughed as she stood up from her bed. “Go on, go brush your teeth and get into bed”

“Is Dad going to read me a story?” Ava asked

“I’m sure he will” Charlie nodded as she ushered her daughter out of the bedroom.

“Okay, Goodnight Mum” Ava smiled as she gave Charlie a hug and kissed her cheek.

“Night baby” Charlie smiled before she walked down the stairs, leaving Ava to finish getting herself ready for bed. She walked into the kitchen to make herself a coffee, but found Angelo was already doing so.

“Hey” Angelo smiled “One decaff” Angelo said as he handed his wife a cup.

“Thanks” Charlie said as she took the cup from him and took a drink, before placing the cup down on the worktop and looking up at her husband. “So, Ava’s been asking questions about Ruby’s real Dad”

“Grant?” Angelo questioned as he poured some milk into his coffee. “How does she know about that?”

“She just came out with it” Charlie said “She asked me why you were sometimes Angelo and sometimes Dad to Ruby”

“You didn’t tell her the truth, did you?”

“Yes, I told our nine-year-old daughter that I was raped and that’s how Ruby came about. I also told her that you killed him and spent the first four years of her life in prison. While I was at it I told her Santa Claus wasn’t real, nor was the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy”

“A simple no would have done” Angelo mumbled

“Not asking stupid questions would have done too” Charlie replied “Of course I didn’t go telling her that. I just told her I had Ruby with someone else, before I met you and Ruby didn’t see him because he was dead and she seems happy enough with that explanation”

“You told her he was dead?” Angelo questioned

“Well she was asking why Ruby didn’t see him and it just…..it just came out. I was panicking about what I could say; I didn’t want to think about him Angelo”

“Right, yeah” Angelo nodded “I suppose she’ll have to be told the truth at one point”

“Will she really? Why would we need to tell her that?”

“I’m just thinking of it for when she’s 14 and she wants to start dating guys and we’ll tell her no and she’ll throw it back in your face that you were 14 when you had Ruby so you obviously were dating then so you can’t tell her not too” Angelo said “So maybe if she knew she’d be different about it”

“Angelo, we’ll deal with that when we come to it. Ava, Ben, Chloe, they don’t need to know what happened. I don’t want them knowing, I don’t want to have to keep living through what happened and telling people, I just want…..” Charlie trailed off as her eyes glazed over with tears.

“Hey, hey, come here” Angelo said as he reached his arm out and pulled Charlie into a hug. “I’m sorry” Angelo placed a soft kiss onto Charlie’s head and he held her in his arms. “Your right, they don’t need to know” Charlie and Angelo stood in the embrace “But these things do have a habit of getting out eventually”

“I know” Charlie said as she pulled back, just as Ava could be heard shouting down for Angelo.

“I guess its story time” Angelo said “Are you okay?” Charlie nodded lightly as she wiped her hand over her eye.

“I’m fine” Charlie managed a weak smile as Angelo left the room to read his daughter her story.

*****

Angelo was still up the stairs with Ava when Ruby returned home. She walked into the house and through to the living room, finding Charlie sitting watching the TV. Charlie looked up to Ruby, who looked like she was about to break into tears at any moment. “Rubes” Charlie said as she stood up and walked over to her daughter, before looking to her grandson who was fast asleep in his mother’s arms.

“Can you…” Ruby started

“Yeah of course” Charlie said as she gently took Callum from Ruby’s arms, careful not to wake him from his sleep. “I’ll be back soon” Charlie said before she walked up the stairs and got her grandson changed out of his clothes and into his sleep suit. She lifted him up and cradled him in her arms, as she smiled down at him, rocking him gently as he slept.

“Everything alright?” Angelo spoke quietly as he walked into the room and over to Charlie, who was still staring down at her sleeping grandson.

“Ruby seems a bit…..” Charlie trailed off as she looked up at Angelo “I don’t know, maybe it’s hitting her, what’s actually happened”

“Poor girl, as if she hadn’t been through enough” Angelo said and Charlie sighed lightly as she nodded her head in agreement at her husband’s words. She walked across to the cot and gently placed Callum down and watched him sleeping for a moment before she looked up at Angelo. “Although saying that” Angelo continued “Maybe this was for the best” Angelo said tentatively and Charlie’s screwed her face up, slightly puzzled at Angelo’s comment.

“Why do you say that?” Charlie asked

“Well think about it” Angelo said “Take Cal, for instance” Angelo said as he walked over to the cot and looked down at his grandson. “He’s still so young and Rubes, she isn’t in the best place herself right now, then there was the matter of space for another baby, the cost of another baby, who the father is….Charlie I could go on”

“Well don’t” Charlie shook her head “I get where you’re coming from, I really do but, Angelo, this was still Ruby’s baby, a little life growing inside her. Her child, our grandchild and now we are never going to get to meet this life and….it’s sad” Charlie said as she felt herself glazing over with tears.

“I know” Angelo said as he pulled Charlie closer to himself and wrapped his arms around her waist. “But I still think this was the best outcome of the situation”

“Well don’t let Ruby hear you saying that because deep down, I think she did want this baby and now she’s lost it…I don’t know what she’s going to do Angelo”

“She’ll be alright” Angelo smiled reassuringly. “Because she has us, and more importantly, she has you, and you’ll help her get through this”

“I don’t know how” Charlie said as she shook her head

“Yes Charlie” Angelo gave a small of his head “You do. You’ve been right here, you said so yourself only this morning how you know how she feels right now, so just use that and you’ll help her” Charlie smiled lightly at Angelo before she nodded her head.

“Yeah” Charlie said “You’re right”

“I am?” Angelo questioned and Charlie nodded

“Well you do get it right sometimes” Charlie laughed before she rested her head against Angelo’s chest and he moved his hands up to her back and gave her a hug. They broke from the embrace as they heard a small cry coming from Callum, but it stopped before they attempted to comfort him. They both stared down at him lovingly and watched him as he slept. His arms stretched out above his head, his little legs spread apart, his chest rising up and down as he took each breath. Angelo wrapped his arm around Charlie’s waist as they kept their gaze on Callum.

“It won’t be long before we are in the nursery, doing this over Chloe’s cot”

“I hope not” Charlie smiled lightly as she looked up to Angelo. “Was it just me or did she seem a lot more colourful today?” Charlie asked

“Oh yeah” Angelo said “She was red then she was orange then…..”

“Angelo” Charlie said as she hit his chest lightly.

“Yeah, she did seem to have a lot more colour today. I think that second transfusion has really done a lot of good”

“Yeah, it seems to have” Charlie smiled “I just wish Ben would go and see her. I know he doesn’t like the NICU, I mean the machines and stuff frighten me a bit, so I can only imagine what a four-year-old would think, but, I want him to bond with her and I think it’s best to start that before she comes home”

“I know” Angelo nodded “But we don’t want to push him because that will just make him not want to go even more. We just have to let him come in his own time”

“But what if he never does and then she comes home and he doesn’t want to know her?”

“Of course he’ll want to know her” Angelo said “Ben’s going to be a great big brother” Angelo looked up to find Ruby had walked into the room, a rather large glass of wine in her hand. He looked round to Charlie and gave her a reassuring smile. “I’ll go…” Angelo said as he pointed to the door. He kissed Charlie’s forehead before he left the room. Charlie looked down to Ruby who had sat on her bed and was taking a drink of her wine.

“Rubes” Charlie said softly

“I’m just having a glass of wine” Ruby said “I mean it’s not like I have a reason why I shouldn’t drink” Ruby said before she took another drink.

“Ruby” Charlie exhaled as she sat down on the bed next to her daughter. “I know how you’re feeling right now and…..”

“Don’t. I don’t need this” Ruby said as she shook her head “I’m okay about it. Now if you just want to talk to me about general things, then you can stay, but the baby, Xavier, Jay, any of that, then no, I won’t talk” Charlie exhaled lightly before she pursed her lips together. She knew pushing it out of Ruby would be the wrong thing to do, so she stuck to her daughter’s wishes, no matter how much she didn’t want too.

“Okay” Charlie nodded lightly “So, ehm….how was your day?”

“Yeah, fine. I was in the Diner today talking to Leah and she was saying that one of the waitresses that works for her just handed in her notice as she is going travelling around world, so she is going to give me her shifts” Ruby smiled “So, yeah, I start next week”

“Right” Charlie nodded “Well that’s good”

“Yeah I mean I don’t want to work in the Diner all my life, but for now, it’ll get me money, and I can start to pay my way a bit more, I mean I can’t live off of you for the rest of my life”

“Aw Rubes, you know I’d always help you if need be” Charlie said as she lightly rubbed her daughters arm.

“Yeah I know, and I’m really grateful for that but I need to start making my own way in life, especially for that little guy in there” Ruby said as she pointed to Callum’s cot. “I want to make him proud of me”

“Ruby no matter what you do, I’m sure he’ll think the world of you. You’re his Mummy and he’ll love you for that no matter what”

“Yeah” Ruby smiled “I guess he will. So anyways, I’m going to have an early night. I'm feeling a bit tired” Ruby said. Charlie nodded lightly as she took this as her cue to leave the room.

“Okay, have a good sleep” Charlie smiled as she stood up from Ruby’s bed. “Night Rubes” Charlie said before she placed a kiss on her forehead.

“Yeah, night Mum” Ruby said as she watched Charlie walk out of the room.

[Danni02]

Thanks so much Rach Loves H&A, Chester-Sam, Sarah, Charis, Cally and Sabrina for the lovely comments! Okay, so this chapter....meh. I'm sorry it took a while to update, and hopefully this is okay.

Chapter 92

Ruby flung her hand out of the bed and hit the alarm clock, ending the constant buzzing noise that was filling the room. She kicked the covers off from on top of her and dragged herself out of bed, before she walked across the hall and into the bathroom. She opened the cupboard and took out a towel, before folding it over the towel heater, before she undressed herself and stepped into the shower. As the hot water fell over her body, she began washing herself, and as she ran the sponge over her stomach, she paused and pursed her lips together as a lone tear escaped her eye. It has been a week since she had the miscarriage, and, in that week, she had yet to begin to grieve the loss of her child. Taking a deep breath as she composed herself, she fought back the rest of the tears that wanted to fall as she finished getting washed. She stepped out of the shower and wrapped the warm towel around her body, before she grabbed another one from the cupboard, in which she wrapped her hair in. She walked back through to her bedroom and looked down into the cot at her son, who was lying awake, and biting on the ear of a stuffed teddy bear, as he kicked his legs out in excitement at seeing his mother. “Morning baby” Ruby smiled as she gently ran her hand down Callum’s cheek. Callum babbled in excitement as he kicked his legs even more. “Mummy is just going to get dressed and dry her hair then its breakie time, okay” Ruby spoke softly as she once again ran her hand down her son’s cheek. Callum gave Ruby a smile showing the few teeth that had recently grown in. She exhaled lightly before she walked across the room and dried her hair, before she got herself dressed. “Hey Cal Cal” Ruby said as she walked over to the cot and picked up her son and placed a soft kiss onto his forehead. “You get to spend the day with Granny. Yes you do, but don’t tell her I called her that or she’ll not be pleased with Mummy” Ruby cooed as she lightly tickled her sons chin. Callum let out a little laugh as Ruby took the bear from his hands and placed it back down in its place in the cot. She walked out of the room and down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Charlie and the kids were eating their breakfast. “Morning” Ruby smiled as she put Callum into the highchair.

“Ruby, Callum is still in his pj’s” Ava giggled

“I know. I’ll change him after his breakie” Ruby said as she began to make up Callum’s breakfast. “Where’s Dad?” Ruby asked as she looked across the room to Charlie.

“He went into the station this morning” Charlie answered before she took another spoonful of her cereal. “Why?” Charlie asked as she reached forward lifted up her class of orange juice.

“I just wondered” Ruby said as she walked over to the highchair and placed the bowl down onto the tray. Callum put his hands out and tried to grab for the spoon that was in Ruby’s hand. “You want the spoon baby?” Ruby asked as she gave Callum the spoon and walked across to the drawers and took out another spoon, before walking back over to the highchair and began to feed her son his breakfast.

“I’m finished” Ava said as she pushed her cereal bowl further into the table.

“Right go brush your teeth and get your school bag” Charlie said as she looked to her daughter and Ava jumped down from the seat and ran from the room.

“I’m finished too Mummy” Ben said as he put his empty cup down onto the table.

“You go brush your teeth too then” Charlie said as she smiled at her son.

“Yeah. But I don’t gots a school bag” Ben said sounding worried as his eyes widened.

“I know” Charlie laughed lightly “You just need to brush your teeth” Ben jumped down from the seat and ran from the room. As the kids were out of sight, Charlie stood up and started to clean away their dishes. “So, I see you had another bottle of wine last night” Charlie said as she glanced at Ruby as she walked across the kitchen with the dishes in her hand.

“Yes” Ruby said “It not as if I am underage”

“Rubes” Charlie sighed “You’ve drunk every night since….” Charlie trailed off as she looked down.

“What’s wrong with having a drink?” Ruby asked

“Ruby c’mon it’s more than just having a drink. You did the same thing after Xavier….” Charlie trailed off as she walked across the room and placed her hand onto Ruby’s shoulder. “Ruby please let yourself -”

“Mum” Ruby sighed “I don’t need to do this. Now, I need to go. I’m starting at the Diner. Do you want me to drop them off at school on my way?”

“Aren’t you eating breakfast?” Charlie asked

“I’m not so hungry” Ruby shook her head “I’ll grab something at the Diner on my break. Now do you want me to take them to school?”

“Yeah please that would be great” Charlie said as the kids came running back into the room. “Rubes is going to take you to school today” Charlie said as she looked down at them.

“Okay” Ava said “Let’s go Ruby” Ruby grabbed her car keys from the hanger and ushered her siblings out of the house. Charlie exhaled lightly as she looked down to Callum who was sitting with his hand in his bowl.

“Hey baby what you doing?” Charlie asked as she smiled down at Callum. Callum started to giggle as he rocked from side to side in the highchair. “You’ve got your hand all dirty” Charlie said as she took the spoon from Callum’s other hand and put it into the bowl, before lifting him out of the highchair. She picked up the bowl and put it into the sink, before walking up the stairs with Callum, who had placed his dirty hand onto her shoulder, getting some of his breakfast over her top. “Oh Cal” Charlie said “Maybe I should have washed that little hand of yours first” She walked into Ruby’s bedroom and opened the drawer, pulling out some clothes for Callum, before sitting him down on Ruby’s bed, she grabbed the box of baby wipes from on top of the drawers, and wiped his hand, before he was able to get anymore of his breakfast over something else. She changed him out of his pyjamas before walking through to her bedroom and sitting him down in the middle of her bed. Callum started to cry as Charlie walked away from bed and across to her drawers. “Shhh, Its okay baby, I’m just getting another top then I’ll be right back” Charlie said as she picked out another top, and changed herself, putting the dirty one into her laundry basket. Callum continued to cry until he was back in Charlie’s arms. “Hey, what are these tears for?” Charlie said as she wiped them away from Callum’s face. “You just want hugs all the time, don’t you?” Charlie cooed as she lightly ticked Callum under his chin, and Callum laughed before he cuddled into Charlie.

*****

Charlie walked into the Diner, and immediately found Leah walking quickly over to her. “Charlie hey, I was just about to call you. It’s Ruby, she shut herself in the store room and she won’t come out. She’s in tears. I don’t know what’s wrong with her”

“Can I?” Charlie questioned as she pointed to the room and Leah nodded.

“Yeah, of course” Leah said as she saw Charlie glancing down to the buggy.

“I’ll watch him for you, just go” Leah said. Charlie smiled lightly at Leah before she walked through the diner and kitchen and stopped outside the store room.

“Rubes” Charlie said softly “Are you going to let me in?” Charlie waited for a few minutes, before the door finally opened and Ruby was stood at the other side, tears streaming down her face. Charlie walked into the room, before closing the door, and smiled empathetically at her daughter.

“I lost it” Ruby cried “Mum, I lost my baby”

“I know” Charlie mouthed as she stepped closer to Ruby, and opened her arms out. Ruby fell into the hug as the tears continued to stream down her face. Charlie stood in the embrace, not saying anything to Ruby, but simply letting her cry the tears that she desperately needed too. After standing for some time in the embrace Ruby pulled away from Charlie and walked across the room and sat on the floor and leaned her head against the wall. Charlie followed and sat down beside her daughter, choosing to wait until Ruby spoke again before saying anything.

“I don’t know how I am supposed to feel” Ruby said as she looked around to Charlie. “It was Jay’s baby and who he was, he…..” Ruby trailed off as she wiped a tear from her cheek. “But it was my baby”

“Rubes, it’s okay to feel sad about this” Charlie said “It’s okay to cry” Charlie placed her hand onto Ruby’s shoulder and gently rubbed it.

“I wanted to keep it” Ruby said as she sniffed back more tears. “I know what he did to Xav, but, this was still my baby” Ruby cried as she placed her hand on her stomach. “And now it’s gone” Charlie wrapped her arms around Ruby, and she fell into her mother, burying her head against her chest. Charlie ran her hand gently through Ruby’s hair, holding her daughter as she cried for the baby she’d lost. After a good while of crying Ruby sat up as wiped her hands across her face, wiping away the tears that had fallen.

“What did I do wrong?” Ruby asked

“Rubes, you did nothing wrong” Charlie shook her head lightly. “Sometimes these things just happen”

“Maybe this was the sign” Ruby said as she looked up to her mother and Charlie pulled a face in confusion. “I went to Xavier and I asked him what I should do, I asked him for a sign and then I lose the baby” Charlie exhaled lightly as she looked into Ruby eyes.

“Rubes, I don’t…” Charlie paused as she bit her lip.

“Sorry, that sounds stupid” Ruby said “But I just….I want a reason for this happening, and not just that sometimes these things happened and this just seems something that I’d like to believe”

“Then believe it Ruby. If this is going to help you then you believe it” Charlie said as she moved Ruby’s hair from in front of her face. Ruby smiled lightly at her mother before she once again placed her hand onto her stomach.

“How do you do it, Mum?” Ruby questioned “How do you get over a miscarriage?”

Charlie exhaled lightly as she pursed her lips together “Let yourself feel what you want to feel. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to be angry, be angry. Just let it out and over time, you’ll heal. You’ll come to peace with what happened and be able to move on” Ruby smiled lightly at her mother, before there was a knock on the door, and Leah walked in with a screaming Callum in her arms.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but he will just not stop….” Leah trailed off as Ruby stood up, as she wiped the tears from her face, and walked over to Leah and took her son into her arms.

“Shhh its okay baby, Mummy’s here” Ruby said as she gently rocked Callum in her arms, and she rubbed his back. Callum’s cries soon stopped and he cuddled himself into his mother. Leah looked to Ruby, and then to Charlie, who was making her way across the room, who looked to be on the brink of tears herself.

“Look Ruby, why don’t you take the rest of the day off” Leah suggested as she saw how broken and upset she looked.

“No, I’m okay now” Ruby said

“Rubes” Charlie said as she placed her hand onto her daughter’s shoulder. “C’mon, just go home today”

“I’ll go get some fresh air for a bit, but I want to come back to work” Ruby said before she left the room, then pushed the buggy out of the Diner. Charlie exhaled lightly as she rubbed her forehead.

“Is everything alright?” Leah questioned

“Ruby had a miscarriage last week and she….”

“Oh” Leah gasped as she put her hand over her mouth in shock. “Charlie, I’m sorry, I would never have asked her to start so soon if I knew she’d…..”

“Its okay” Charlie shook her head lightly “We never even got round to telling you she was pregnant, so you weren’t to know. It was something Ruby hadn’t really shared with many people. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do, with it being Jay’s child and all”

“Look, tell her to take as much time as she needs to feel up to this” Leah said “She can have a job here whenever she is ready, but I don’t want her pushing herself into work, she needs to work through this first”

“I know” Charlie said “She’s not really faced it until today. But this, it’s just another thing to add to the list of…..” Charlie trailed off as her eyes welled up with tears.

“Charlie, are you alright?” Leah asked as she stepped forward and placed her hand onto Charlie’s arm. Charlie went to reply, but was then interrupted as Irene walked into the room.

“Sorry to interrupt but Ruby’s gone walkabout already and with you chatting in here, I’m all on my own and it’s busy out there” Irene said as she pointed back into the Diner.

“Sorry Irene. I told Ruby she could have a break” Leah said “I’ll be right through” Irene gave Charlie a smile before she walked back into the Diner. “Charlie, are you….”

“Yeah yeah. I’ll be fine” Charlie said as she gave Leah a weak smile.

“I know you’ve had a pretty tough year so far” Leah said “And we’ve not had a chance to have a good a chat lately, but….”

“I know. But I better go, let you get back to work” Charlie said giving Leah a thankful smile, before she walked out of the Diner, and across to the beach where she could see Ruby sitting with her son. She took a deep breath to compose herself before walking onto the sand, and stopped next to Ruby. “Alright?” Charlie asked as she sat down next to Ruby, before laughing lightly at Callum as he clapped his hands and let out a babble of excitement at seeing Charlie. She gently ran her hand over Callum’s head as she smiled.

“Yeah” Ruby said as she looked up to Charlie. “I think I’m going to be just fine”