Revelations

[Zetti]

Part Eleven

Roo left Roman to his own thoughts, she had to warn Nicole. She deserved that much at least from her.

‘Hello?’ Nicole answered the phone.

‘Hey...’

Nicole sighed ‘You told him’

‘Kind of, in the end he worked it out’ Roo said gently, she didnt want to make Nicole feel uncomfortable.

‘So is he going to go after Angelo?’

‘I don’t know, I get the feeling that he might, he seemed to have calmed down.

‘I need to warn Angelo’ she said but more to herself than for Roo.

She didn’t know why she told Roo, it wasn't exactly something she had to verbalise but for some reason, she felt like Roo was a mother figure, maybe it was because she had been there for her when no one else was? She couldn’t quite put her finger on it but whatever the reason was, she was incredibly grateful to have her in her life.

‘Be careful, you have been through a lot’ Roo warned. Roo cared about Nicole; she would have cared for her anyways seeing as she was dating her father but it went deeper than that.

She felt like she was her mother, like she had a bigger status in her life than her ‘biological’ mother who Nicole rarely saw.

‘I know but I don’t hate him anymore’ she admitted surprising Roo; she loved Nicole and didn’t think Angelo was a bad person but she still thought that Nicole should be wary of him.

He still tried to hurt her and the alcohol is no excuse she thought to herself but she didn’t verbalise it because she knew that Nicole was strong enough to make her own decision and she respected her enough not to interfere.

‘If I was in your position I would not be so forgiving’ Roo replied honestly wondering how Nicole could be as strong as she was.

‘I have to be strong and I had to forgive him, I mean I owe the children that much’ she justified.

‘I really don’t know how you do it’

Nicole sighed, ‘sometimes neither do I Roo but I have forgiven him, I have to’

‘You really are one hell of a strong person’ repeating the words she had said previously just to implement in her own head more than Nicole’s.

Nicole sighed. ‘Thanks. I better go, thanks for warning me’

**

How the hell did it get from such a happy life to a hellish one, Roman thought to himself later on that night once he had managed to calm down.

He still wasn’t able to process the fact that Roo had kept it from him but if he was completely honest with himself, it was not Roo he was angry with; it was Nicole because she should have trusted him.

Roman groaned as he shifted himself out of bed, he put on his boxers and dressing gown, he needed to be alone.

He had resolved it in his head before but the whole thing was still playing on his mind. He had been to war and was trained to kill but he had never done the whole family thing before, he loved his daughter and grandkids but he didn’t know how to detach himself from the whole situation, it was not an easy situation to be in.

He cursed for a second under his breath being careful not to wake up Roo but then he realised that it was Nicole who had gone through it and that he should be concentrating on her and protecting his family.

The fact that he hadn’t done the family thing before wasn’t the main thing on his mind, he knew that he needed to be there and the rest would come in time, at least Roman thought I hope it will.

He couldn’t stop thinking about it, it was making him feel crazy but he knew that when it came to Nicole, he was never going to stop worrying. When did you ever stop worrying about your kids or your life?

Making his way onto the balcony, he noticed the time, 1am, he needed to talk to Nicole but he didn’t know what to say to her. He at the moment seemed trained to worry and make things seem to be worse than they already are.

Worrying just creates more stress, Roman noted, without worrying you never realise that there is a problem and without that you cannot actually solve it.

He made his way back over to the bed and eased under the covers.

‘Have you stopped brooding?’ Roo asked sleepily.

Roman chuckled ‘You know me too well’

‘I know so have you?’

‘Put this way, I have done enough for tonight’

Roo smiled as he pulled the covers over them, she put her head back on the covers and within a few moments, she was fast asleep again. Not long after Roman let the world of sleep take over and they both slept somewhat peacefully.

He shouldn’t worry so much but he couldn’t help it, she was his baby girl and that wasn’t going to change, not now & not ever.

**

[Zetti]

Part Twelve

Ironically back in summer bay; Nicole knew that Roo had told Roman, she was waiting for him to call her. She knew that he was going to be angry, she didn’t care about his reaction strangely enough, and she just wanted to make sure that he wasn’t going to hurt Angelo.

She didn’t even know why she cared so much about him after everything he had done to her.

Actually she did, the one thing that led to Angelo getting drunk so often. She didn’t even blame him for getting drunk as often as he did, even though she hated when he did.

If she had the option of getting drunk then she probably would have taken it as well but she had to be strong for the children.

She knew Angelo cared and loved the children, it was one of the reasons she wanted to give him access to the children because the children were the innocent ones in all of it, it wasn’t their fault that their parents were split.

They didn’t deserve to go through so much pain and hurt for something that was not because of them but then the situation did affect them.

She had to do what was best for them but then at times she never knew what the best thing to do was? How can you protect your kids when you don’t even know what the danger is?

Fair play to Angelo, Nicole mused, as she curled up on the sofa with a blanket, drinking her hot chocolate.

He had spent so long hating himself for his actions; he never blamed anyone else even though the catalyst behind it wasn’t anything that either of them could have prevented.

How could they, they didn’t even know it was going to happen until it did, no one could have stopped it even if they had realised beforehand.

‘Hey, are you alone?’ Nicole asked not much later. She knew that her father could be on the way back and she didn’t want Angelo to get hurt.

She told herself it was so that Rob and Mia didn’t have to go through the aftermath but deep down, she needed him to be okay.

He had never hurt her before that night and she did sort of understand why he hurt her. It was painful enough for her to contemplate the possibility of him getting hurt, their relationship had been through a lot and she for some reason didn’t believe that it was over.

Angelo frowned ‘I am. What’s wrong?’ He didn’t know why she was calling but he could sense that there was something wrong. He always worried about her but at times he felt like a fraud because he had not earned the right to worry about her.

‘Nicole?’ he asked a few moments later when she didn’t reply, he felt a bit uneasy like something was really wrong.

‘Can you come over?’ she said. She cursed herself a few moments later, why did she ask him to come over. There was a storm brewing but she had to make sure he was okay. She needed that peace of mind.

‘Sure, I am coming, are the children okay?’

‘They’re fine; I just need to tell you something’

Angelo frowned; he had no idea what was so important, that she couldn’t relay over the phone.

‘She doesn’t want me back’ he muttered to himself as he pulled his jeans on and his top, before making his way over to the door.

**

Angelo arrived at Roman’s apartment not long later. ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’

‘Dad knows’

Angelo nodded ‘I figured’

‘What possessed you to tell Roo?’

Angelo sighed, it felt strange being near Nicole, he could smell the perfume that she always wore, he could remember the nights where when she was asleep, and he would stay up watching her.

‘I had to tell someone, I hate myself for it’

Nicole nodded ‘I know, I know you do’

Angelo blinked. She had never acknowledged how much guilt he had and still had. ‘I know that a lot has happened but I don’t want to make this harder for you’

Nicole couldn’t deny how much she wanted to kiss him, but the thought of it scared her slightly because she didn’t know he would take it or how it would make her feel.

‘Has he rang you?’ he asked

‘No but I know that eventually he will flip out, he always does’

Angelo moved away from her slightly; he was too tempted to hug her. She made the decision to move closer to him.

She wrapped her arms around his waist; she was surprised at how normal it felt to her. He tentatively hugged her closer to him.

She sniffed and then moved away. ‘Sorry, just needed a hug’

‘Listen I will be fine, beside anything your father does is the least I deserve, I hurt you in the one way I never wanted to’

Nicole sighed ‘I know, but you don’t deserve to get beat up for it’

She could see the pain he was going through, every moment that he was away from his family was drenched in hurt. She could see it in his eyes and she wished she could take it away from him but she didn’t know how to tell him that he had to put in the past. She wouldn’t be able to move on until he accepted that.

‘I better go’ Angelo said ‘Will you be okay?’

‘The storm is back’ Nicole said referring to the rain that was pattering against the window.

‘You are better off staying here’ she said as Angelo looked at the rain. He didn’t want to have to try and make his way back but he looked into her eyes. ‘Are you sure? I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable’

She nodded and meant it, maybe it was the fact that it was cold or the fact that she hated the storms, it always made her feel scared. But her pride wasn’t to going to let her reveal that. Or maybe it was the fact that even after everything, she felt safe when he was around.

‘Okay, I will sleep on the couch’ Angelo agreed. It was better than trying to brave the storm. He thought to himself. I am in no fit state to drive and he wasn’t sure if he would actually be able to walk with the gales.

Nicole smiled and got him a blanket and pillows. She watched him get on the couch and try and get comfortable. She knew that it was a long shot but maybe this was the start of something? She didn’t know yet but she knew one thing, she was glad that he was there for her. But then she knew that, he had made it clear that he would do anything for her.

**

[Zetti]

Part Thirteen

Roman decided that he wasn’t going to be able to sleep, he watched the clock turn to 6.30am and then he got changed and kissed Roo’s forehead before grabbing his jacket and his keys and left the room. He left Roo a note, he knew that she was going to be annoyed but his mind was working overtime and he wanted to talk to Nicole sooner rather than later.

He got into his car, he knew that he had approached the situation at first calmly but he was still too angry at Nicole and he knew he had to have it out with her first before he could put his own mind at rest.

He had no idea what her response would be but he had to know why the hell she kept it from him. He got why she kept the children away from him for so long but he didn’t know why she had relented.

Angelo doesn’t deserve compassion he reasoned to himself but deep down he knew that Nicole was her own person and that anything that he said probably wouldn’t make much of a difference.

Nicole was stubborn but he knew one thing, when it came to the children, she always made the decision based on their welfare even if it tore her apart in the process.

**

Few hours earlier....

A few hours passed and the time was 4am, Angelo shivered on the couch, the rain kept on battering against the window. He didn’t actually feel tired. Too many thoughts kept bouncing around his mind, his mind didn’t seem to want to switch off and since he couldn’t sleep, he didn’t bother trying to force himself.

He was trying to remember some good times that he had actually shared with Nicole. He remembered their wedding day, with Rob in his little suit and Roo carrying him down the aisle. He couldn’t help but grin at that memory and of course, Nicole in that beautiful dress of hers flowing across her petite frame accentuating her features.

He spent so long hating himself for hurting Nicole that he realised that he couldn’t actually remember a happy moment apart from the moment that Mia was born.

He could remember bursting with happiness, the fact that their family was complete. He had not wanted anything more than that.

Normally it wouldn’t bother him sleeping on the couch, but he was wary of the fact that Roman could come in the house at any time. He wasn’t scared for himself; he just didn’t want Roman to get angry at Nicole who didn’t deserve to bear the inevitable wrath of Roman which was inevitable.

He gave up trying to sleep and watched the rain crashing again the window. He liked watching the rain, he used to do it when he was a kid, whenever he wasn’t helping at the restaurant, he would be in his room watching the world pass him by.

His life then was a stark difference to the world he lived in now.

Back then, he had no one to look after but now in the present, he had 3 people who he loved and wanted to look after. They were the most precious people in his life and whatever happened, they came first.

**

Nicole lay on her bed, she couldn’t sleep either, and she was imagining Angelo on the sofa all alone. It felt strange that he was in the house and that he wasn’t with her.

Nicole walked down the stairs; she didn’t want to be alone. Her lips tugged up at the corners as she saw Angelo trying unsuccessfully to get comfortable and shivering at the same time. ‘It’s cold isn’t it?’ she said as she turned the light on.

‘Kind of’ Angelo said indifferently or at least he tried to make it out as it was indifferent to him as he sat up, bringing his legs up to his chest. Nicole lifted the covers and sat next to him.

‘You look uncomfortable’ she pointed out but then it was different territory for both of them.

‘The couch is not that bad’ he said but he knew that wasn’t what she meant.

‘It is, maybe you should sleep in my room

‘I don’t think that’s a good idea’ he said honestly.

She cocked a look at him ‘On the floor’

Angelo couldn’t sleep even on the floor but he didnt complain. The fact that it was raining and the blanket didn’t even cover his feet didn’t help either.

She sat up and turned the lamp on. Chattering teeth wasn’t exactly helping her sleep and she needed some sleep.

She looked at him and smiled before lifting the covers and said ‘Get in’

‘That is not a good idea’ he said again

Nicole got out and lay down on the floor. ‘Fine then both of us will freeze.’

Angelo groaned, she knew how to make him do what she wanted. ‘Come on then’ he said as he got in under the covers.

Nicole got in next to him. She could sense that he wasn’t sure about it, if she was being honest with herself, she didn’t know what to do herself. She lay there quite stiffly and Angelo turned off the lamp.

They both lay there with their arms clasped down quite firmly on their sides; they weren’t sure what to do.

Nicole felt really uncomfortable but she could feel Angelo’s warmth and she remembered the hug that they shared before, it had felt so natural to her.

so she decided to the one thing that was natural to her and she placed her head on his chest and closed her eyes.

‘Sleep’ Nicole said a few moments later and she felt Angelo relax slightly, she knew he had a smile on his face, she always knew when he was smiling.

**

Roman was still brooding, he knew that Nicole knew her own mind and nothing he said would change that but he had to try, otherwise he would be forever be thinking what if I had tried to help her.

He looked at the clock and it had just turned to 7.47am. Nicole was probably asleep but he wasn’t going to be able to sleep himself, maybe the drive would calm him down but with the way his mind was working, he doubted that very much.

The drive back finally ended and Roman parked the car. He saw Angelo’s car outside and instantly felt fear and angry muster up in his mind. He was more scared but his anger seemed to take over that fear as he strode towards the house, he was tempted to break one of the car window but he didn’t know what was going on in the house and he didn’t want to put Nicole or the children in danger.

He clenched his fists and made his way into the house, he had no idea what to expect but he was willing to protect his family, even if that meant using his fists and not his common sense which seemed to be the norm for him and most men who wanted to protect the people they cared about.

**

[Zetti]

I might have built this up to be something more than what it actually is, I had never scripted in a fight scene but then I realised it made more sense to put one in… it’s a bit of an anti-climax so I hope you aren’t all too disappointed, I am sure you will all hate me pretty soon anyways with the drama coming apart from Amy who apparently likes angst, well then you will definitely like the stuff I have coming

and I hope Red that you like this because you always write good fight scenes... Enjoy & comment xx

Warning: Swearing and a bit of violence...

Part Fourteen

Nicole woke up a few moments later; she didn’t actually know that Roman was in the room.

‘What the F*ck is going on?’ Roman growled.

He had seen Angelo’s coat downstairs as he walked into the house and he knew exactly where he would find him.

It was 8.30am which meant that Rob was going to wake up soon and as soon as she had actually seen her father looking really angry, she gulped and shook Angelo awake.

‘Nic?’ he whispered groggily. He squinted as the sun came bouncing through the blinds and reaching his eyes. He scrunched up his eyes and then slowly opened them again.

‘Roman’

He growled at him and made his way towards the bed. ‘Dad, don’t, the kids are asleep and I don’t want them to see or hear this’ she said urgently as she held onto Angelo’s hands under the covers.

Angelo squeezed her hand as he sat up. Roman noticed that they both had their clothes on but his anger was taking over so that he didn’t actually care that much. He couldn’t believe that Nicole would actually let him get back into her bed like that.

‘He better be gone by the time I get back!’ he said and then turned on the spot and left the room.

Nicole heard the door go and then turned to Angelo. ‘The children will be awake soon so I need you to go’

He got up and put on his shoes; ‘Sure’ he wasn’t sure what to say next.

Nicole said knowing that he needed her to say something. ‘Last night was a one off, it can’t happen again’ but she knew that wasn’t what she wanted, what she really wanted was for them to try again but the uncertainty was the dominant force that stopped her saying that to him or maybe her pride stopped her, it wasn’t easy to differentiate between the two emotions that were battling each other all the time.

She didn’t know why she said that, it had felt like old times, like she had been reawaken inside and that the fire that led her to fall in love with him had remained.

Angelo nodded, he knew it was too good to be true, but he didn’t know why he was so surprised either.

She wasn’t going to let it go and he couldn’t blame her; ‘I’ll go’

Angelo quickly got his shoes on and made his way down the stairs grabbing his coat on the way, he walked to the door.

‘Thanks for letting me stay’

‘No problem’ she said as he opened the door.

As soon as he closed the door, Rob appeared rubbing his eyes and holding his teddy. ‘Who was it?’ he asked

‘Who darling?’

‘You were talking to someone’ Rob said as Nicole picked him up. She grimaced for a second and placed him on the couch.

‘There was no one there’ Nicole said’ Do you want toast or cereal?’ she asked deflecting the topic away from Angelo.

She didn’t even know if it actually meant anything, was she just holding onto residual happiness that they had before that night. She didn’t know how she truly felt about everything but she knew one thing, that the kids came first.

**

Roman spent the rest of the drive home brooding about the simple fact that Nicole hadn’t told him. He didn’t think that Nicole was being fair, all he wanted to do was protect his family and if that meant. He couldn’t sleep and he didn’t want to wake Roo up but he had to talk to Nicole, it was playing on his mind.

As soon as he left the house, he drove back to where he and Roo had decided to get away to which was only about an hour away. Roo was understandably annoyed but she was always really concerned at the same time.

‘You didn’t do anything?’

‘No, I wanted to, might still do but no I didn’t do anything’ he replied bitterly as he parked up, locked the car as soon as Roo jumped out and stalked away from the house to think, he didn’t want to be around Nicole at the moment, he couldn’t be around her.

He kept going from why the hell would she let him back into her bed especially under his own roof to the fact that he actually physically assaulted her, he needed to drill it into Angelo’s head that he had to stay away from his family, there wasn’t anything that he wouldn’t do for his family.

‘Angelo’

‘Roman’ Angelo said curtly as he opened his door and planted himself so that Roman couldn’t make his way in.

‘Stay away from Nicole’

‘I can’t do that especially since we have two children together’

Roman growled. ‘You have no right to either of them that right evaporated the moment you hurt Nicole’

Angelo honestly wanted to punch Roman, he was getting on his nerves, just before Angelo was about to retort, his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket.

‘Brax’

‘Not my problem remember, as of next week, I no longer work or own it’

He hung up the phone and put it back into his pocket.

‘You better stay away’

‘Or what?’ Angelo asked. He knew logically he should be scared of him but he wasn’t.

‘I will not be responsible for my actions’ Roman said as he clenched his fists.

‘I am not going to stop seeing my family’ he said knowing that it would annoy Roman. He could imagine the look on Nicole’s face when she found out but Roman was not going to back down so Angelo justified to himself, he was not going to either. And it did annoy him, it annoyed so much that Roman threw his arm back and punched Angelo in the face.

Angelo stepped back and his hand flew up to the side of his face where Roman’s fist had connected. ‘You’ll get another one and more if you don’t stay away’ Angelo shut the door in Roman’s face and could feel his face stinging.

He didn’t care that much about Roman, but he knew that the whole situation had just got a lot worse than it needed to be all because he couldn’t help but wind up Roman.

**

[Zetti]

Thanks Amy, Miranda, Lisa and Carina.

I couldn't resist posting this, this is the main chapter that I have been leading the fic up to. Lisa, the reason is in this chapter.

Part Fifteen

A few days later…

Angelo had a grin on his face; he could hardly believe that night had actually happened. He never expected Nicole to want to be close to him.

Maybe he was overthinking it? To him, it didn’t feel wrong, it felt normal. It felt like old times, but he knew that whatever happened.

Nicole had to be happy and the fact that Roman had found them both there and obviously assuming the worst didn’t help but that didn’t stop him from allowing himself to be chirpy.

Even the ‘mini’ showdown didn’t put him off, he loved her and he wasn’t going to let Roman stop him from maybe reuniting with her.

Nicole had to admit, she didn’t regret the previous night. She had spent the last year hating and missing Angelo at the same time.

On top of that she had realised something in the past few weeks, she had slowly forgiven Angelo, the fact that he didn’t contest custody to her felt like he was accepting everything.

She didn’t want him to give up but then again, everything she did was so that she could protect the children, in the past she would have done everything she could to enact as much pain on him that she could think of but she had to put the children first.

She never thought that she would actually feel like she could be with him again, she wasn’t sure if what she felt was even like that but she was cautiously optimistic.

Nicole decided once she had taken the children to school that she was going to see Angelo.

She had spent the whole morning trying to figure out what she wanted but a thought dawned on her, she needed to know what Angelo felt.

**

‘Hey’ Angelo said surprised that she had turned up and he adopted a neutral expression on his face but inside he was jumping for joy, was this actually the day that he had dreamed of for so long?

‘Hey, can I come in?’ she asked playing with a strand of her and looking at him. He noticed the twinkle in her eyes, it was such a surprise to see it, and he hadn’t seen that in her for a very long time.

‘Sure’

Angelo let her in and she sat down on the couch. She looked at him. He had a blackeye which had swollen, she didn’t feel sorry for him, he shouldn’t have got into that position in the first place

‘So Dad was right, he did punch you’

‘He wanted me to stay away from you’ he justified to himself.

Nicole shook her head in disbelief.

‘Men! Not all problems are solved with your fists you know’ she said with disgust and Angelo had the decency to look flinch and look apologetic for all of about 2 seconds as Nicole expected.

Angelo jerked his head slightly ‘I know but I didn’t punch him, I should have but I didn’t’

‘Anyways why are you here?’ he asked deflecting the topic.

Nicole looked at him for a few moments trying to work out the best way to approach the topic. ‘Okay, I know that the truth is out, and that Dad is going to be on the warpath but I need to ask you something’

‘Of course’ Angelo said as he sat down opposite to her.

‘I have to say thanks for last night; you were there when I needed you to be’

Angelo didn’t respond, he wanted to respond but he sensed that Nicole was struggling enough as it is to be there, he had no intention of making it harder on her. All he wanted to do was hold her but he had no right to not after everything he had done.

‘I need to know why though, and don’t use the alcohol as an excuse, that is not an excuse for your behaviour’

‘Are you sure you want to drag it up again? I don’t want to put you in that frame of mind again’

Nicole looked at him and shook her head ‘I am fine, despite it all, that night made me stronger now because I know now why you did it’

Angelo looked very uncomfortable, it had taken him so long to get over that part of their life and now she wanted to revisit it, he didn’t know if he was going to be able to.

‘Don’t please, it’s done, I wish with all my heart that I could take it back but I can’t, I can’t take it back, please don’t’ he begged.

‘You have to face it; you didn’t live the actual experience’

‘I know but it still hurt me’

‘You didn’t even think about how it would affect me did you?’

Angelo closed his eyes ‘How could I? You shut me out’

She ignored that comment.

‘I was, no scratch that, I am, your wife’ she raised her voice slightly.

Angelo opened his eyes ‘Exactly, watching you go through it was so painful, wishing I could take the pain away.’

Nicole sighed and crouched down so that she had her hands on his knees. ‘I know I didn’t help the situation by pushing you away but I was angry at myself and at the world’

Angelo blinked ‘Angry? Why? It was not your fault’

He had no idea that she hated herself for it, she couldn’t have stopped it. It happened but then he was not one to talk, he never dealt with it, how could he? He didn’t even know how much it had affected him until that night.

He had spent so long denying how it made him feel, he felt like he had no right to be angry or sad about it because he hurt Nicole.

Maybe the guilt and shame he carried with him every day was his punishment for not helping Nicole when she clearly needed him.

Nicole sat back down and looked down at her hands before looking at him.

‘I know that now, after a year, we never talked about it. But we have to; if we have any hope of moving forward we have to.’

‘So what? We just say what we think?’

‘I don’t know, all I know is that you have to stop hating yourself for that night. I forgive you but I don’t trust you yet. I want to for the children but right now I can’t’

He nodded succinctly, he did not expect her to run back into his arms, how could he?

‘Remember one thing Angelo, the ectopic pregnancy was not your fault, you need to stop hating the past and look to the future, we are always going to be bound together through the kids. I wouldn’t change that for the world.’

‘Me neither’

Nicole stood up but then she sat down again ‘Is that the reason though? Why you didn’t open up to me instead you turned to the drink?’

Angelo nodded ‘It was my way of shutting the world out’

‘Just a mirroring image of the way I pushed you away’ Nicole said as she thought back. Tears fell but she wiped them away.

‘It was never your fault, never; I just didn’t know how to deal with it’

She nodded ‘And now?’

‘I don’t know, I have spent so long hating myself, I think I just bottled those feelings up’

‘Same. I didn’t want to face up to the fact that I lost our baby, me, the one thing that we both wanted and I lost it’

Angelo saw how much pain she was in, he was so tempted to hug her, but two things were holding him back.

First that he didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable and second, he wasn’t sure if he could cope with her rejection which she could do because he didn’t know if she was ready for anything more.

‘You couldn’t have stopped it, it was an ectopic pregnancy, regardless, of whatever happened, it changes nothing, and it was never and will never be your fault. IT DOESN’T excuse my actions; I tried to physically hurt you’

Nicole said in a small voice as she relieved that moment when she had lost the baby, the pain and the misery that she had endured, she never truly got over it but she had to move on but then the most logical action is never the easiest action.

‘But you didn’t’

‘Because you stopped me. Who knows how far I would have gone’

‘Stop’ Nicole said as she sat on the sofa bringing him next to her. She wanted him to know that she didn’t care about what he had done; she just wanted to put it in the past.

Angelo just felt angry and disgusted with himself, after all this time; he still hadn’t stopped hating himself for everything, he thought he had but obviously he hadn’t.

Nicole stood up. ‘I can’t make you forgive yourself but I forgive you, I don’t know if that is enough but please don’t hate yourself anymore. I don’t’

Angelo nodded. ‘I think that I need time, but thanks for saying you forgive me’

‘Hold on remember, Roo and Dad had no idea I was pregnant and I don’t want them to know.’

Angelo nodded and then Nicole added something that always made her and him smile when they thought about it. ‘Focus on the good times, remember when we had Mia, the day our family grew’

**

The next chapter is going to be pretty short and it’s just kind of a filler chapter before the drama begins. Let me know what you think about the reason that Angelo started drinking….

[Zetti]

Thanks everyone!

Amy: I loved that little mini essay, I am glad that you have forgiven Angelo, I was hoping you would

& seeing as I am nice also because I wont get a chance over the next days here is the next chapter.

Warning: Some scenes might not be appropriate for the younger readers…

Dedicated to Carina because she turns 18 today Enjoy it

Part Sixteen

4 years ago

Nicole didn’t even realise at one point that she was giving birth, the drugs had taken over her senses.

She heard Angelo urging her to push, she really wanted to swear but another contraction took over and she screamed out in pain.

She could smell the disinfectant, and she could see blood all over the place but she heard someone say to push for the final time.

She didn’t know how she had actually managed to do it but the next thing that she knew was being congratulated by some random woman about having a baby.

She didn’t even register the fact that she was no longer in labour, she was still in shock or was it happiness masked as shock? She didn’t know.

She could barely breathe a sigh of relief as Angelo moved slightly away from her. She didn’t even care at that point; she was just relieved that it was over, it has finally sunk in.

Nicole was holding onto Angelo for support as she heard her baby cry, she was so out of it that she didn’t even recognise that he was whispering to her.

She was focusing all her energy onto her baby. The nurse handed her over to Nicole ‘It’s a beautiful baby girl.’

Nicole had a big grin on her face as did Angelo as he kissed Nicole’s forehead.

‘Wow’ he was speechless, he could barely speak.

‘We made her’ Nicole said as she played with her fingers, she had her little finger in Nicole’s.

‘She is beautiful’ Angelo said as she held her.

‘She is’

**

Roo couldn’t stop going Aww.

‘Watch out Roman’ Angelo said laughing.

Roo looked at them both innocently ‘I am not broody, she is just a stunner’

Angelo smiled ‘Like her mother then’

‘Flattery will get you everywhere’ Nicole said laughing at him. Angelo kissed her as Rob walked in with Irene.

‘Eww’ he said covering his eyes and then running into Roman’s arms ‘Granddad! Tell them to stop it’

Irene and Roo couldn’t help but laugh at Rob.

Angelo smiled as he wrapped his arms around Nicole. At that moment she was so happy, she had her family around her. She loved her man and her two beautiful children.

‘So what are you both going to call her?’ Irene asked as she picked the baby up.

‘I haven’t really thought about it’ Nicole admitted

Roman said as he placed Rob on the chair and stood up ‘What about Lexie?’

Nicole mused ‘I always liked Rosie’

Angelo had thought about several names but he said ‘What about Imogen or Mia?’

Nicole said ‘Mia Rosetta’

Angelo smiled ‘So Mia?’

Roman nodded ‘That sounds perfect’

Irene gave Mia over to Nicole; she placed her in the middle of her and Angelo. Rob joined them on the bed. Angelo had Nicole in his arms and Rob on his lap. Nicole placed Mia on Rob’s lap with Angelo supporting them both. They had their family. They were happy.

Roman and Roo smiled as they picked up a sleeping Rob. Nicole and Angelo had fallen asleep. Rob stirred slightly but he just fell asleep again.

‘They really are happy aren’t they?’

Roman nodded. ‘He makes her happy. That is enough for me’

**

[Zetti]

And the drama begins at the end of this chapter...

I apologise in advance for this chapter!

Part Seventeen

Roman came back into the house later on that evening. Nicole had just finished clearing the table. ‘Mia, Rob go upstairs, I will come in a minute’

‘But I want to watch TV’

‘Go and watch it in Granddad’s room’ she replied

Rob and Mia grinned and ran up the stairs. ‘Don’t run!’ Nicole said up the stairs and within seconds they stopped.

‘Dad’ Nicole said as he got a shot of whiskey and gulped it down, she could tell that he had been brooding about it.

‘I cannot believe you didn’t tell me the truth’

Nicole sighed; she really didn’t want to drag it up again, now when she had spent so long coming to terms with it.

‘Dad let’s not do this, I had my reasons, the children are all I care about right now’

Roman looked at her ‘I know you are considering forgiving him, if you haven’t already. You haven’t had you?’ he asked with uncertainty creeping into his tone.

‘I already have’ Nicole said defiantly.

‘What?’ he said as his worst fears were answered.

He had so angry and he breathed in sharply with disbelief emanating from his body. He didn’t think that Nicole would ever forgive Angelo.

‘I have to; if I carry this hate around then the kids will never be happy. I need to do this so that the children can be secure’

‘He physically assaulted you and then you let him back into your bed’ he said with bitterness but then regretted it, he was no angel himself, and he had no right to judge her.

Nicole stopped in her tracks ‘Stop, I have always made my own decisions about my life and the children. Angelo has paid for it’

‘How the hell do you figure that?’ Roman said raising his voice but then he stopped and sat down.

‘Every single time I see him. He looks worn out, he hates himself and before you get all high & mighty, I know what he did you don’t need to keep on reminding me, I cant forget it and I WONT ever forget it, but I have spent the last year hating him, it has got me nowhere, I can’t & more importantly I won’t do it anymore.’

She paused and got her breath back, she hated having to justify herself to everyone else, it wasn’t their life.

Nicole carried on when she finally got her voice back ‘and the fact that you think I slept with him clearly shows you don’t know me!’

‘Since I have forgiven him and let the children see him, I feel as if life is heading somewhere positive and I am not going to let the children be upset so you need to back off’ she calmed down and saw Roman look at her with disbelief and anger but he didn’t even know how to respond but he didn’t get the chance to, as they both heard a thud.

Nicole looked at Roman for a second and then they heard Mia scream. Both of them ran up the stairs and flung the door open.

Rob was lying on the floor with a wound on his forehead. Mia was in tears. Nicole didn’t know what to do first, to see if Rob was okay or whether to pick Mia up.

Roman made the decision for her; he picked Mia up and dialled for an ambulance.

‘I don’t know what happened, he is unconscious’ he said before asking Nicole who was holding him in her arms.

‘Does he have a pulse?’ he said to Nicole as Mia placed her head on Roman’s shoulders and began to cry again.

He supported her head and felt like crying himself when he heard Nicole’s response a few moments later.

‘NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Wake up!’ as Rob began to jerk around and Nicole tried desperately not to let him hurt his head on the edge of the bed. She felt like she was falling apart and she had no idea how the hell she was going to put herself back together again or even would she be able to piece herself back together

**

Don’t all kill me at once please!

[Zetti]

Part Eighteen

‘Is he okay?’ Nicole asked Sid as soon as he came out of the room where Rob had been wheeled in about an hour ago.

‘He is still unconscious, he has a bleed’

‘Bleed??’ Nicole stumbled over her words.

‘Where?’ she was genuinely confused, she berated herself for leaving him there.

‘In his stomach, it is most likely caused by the fall’

‘What happens now?’

Sid looked at her, he didn’t know how to say it ‘We will have to operate but you need to be aware, he is very ill, most people who have surgery…’

Nicole closed her eyes. ‘Please save him, I need my baby’

Roman was holding Mia, she wouldn’t let go of him. Roo approached him ‘it’s okay, I will go, Mia can’t hear this’

Mia whimpered and Roman soothed her by rocking her.

He knew that she needed some reassurance and so he whispered ‘Darling, Shh’

She had worn herself out with the tears, she closed her eyes, Roman sensed that she was falling asleep and sat down on the nearby chairs.

‘Hey, what did Sid say?’

Nicole was close to breaking down. Roo had to physically manoeuvre her to the chairs where Roman was sat with Mia.

‘They said they have to operate and that he might not survive the surgery’ she said as her body wracked with sobs.

‘Does Angelo know?’ Roo asked hoping that Roman was not going to protest.

‘I didn’t even think to call him’ Nicole admitted as she got her voice back.

‘It’s okay, trust me, I don’t think he will blame you, but I do think we should call him’

Roman protested ‘No, he doesn’t need to know’

‘Since he has access he does’ Roo argued back.

‘Dad, Roo, just call him, he needs to be here’

**

Angelo ran into the hospital and straight into Roo. ‘Sorry. Where is he?’

‘He’s just gone up to theatre’

‘What the hell happened?’ he asked as she walked with him to the canteen.

‘They were watching TV on the bed, Rob dropped the remote and decided to jump off the bed but he fell onto the nightstand and hit his head on the way down’ Roo said mirroring what they had managed to get out of Mia.

‘How?’

‘Roman and Nicole were talking downstairs’

‘The children were on the own?’ he asked in disbelief

‘Don’t play the blame game’ Roo warned as Angelo paced around the corridor.

‘You are right, the surgery?’ he shook his head, he had no right to blame anyone, Nicole loved the children as he did, he knew she would never intentionally place them in any danger.

‘Should be about 3 hours. You need to know one thing’ Roo said with sad expression on her face

‘What?’

‘There is a big chance that he might not survive the surgery’

Angelo gasped as he stopped.

He might die.

I might never see him again

What the hell would I do without him?

I need him to be okay.

He lost the use of his legs and slumped against the wall. Somehow he managed to slide down the wall and he just sat there not knowing what else to do.

**

Angelo had no idea how he got from the slumping position to a canteen chair but all he could think about was whether or not Rob was gonna be okay.

He wanted to see Mia but Roo had advised against it. Roman was too angry at the moment.

'Here, drink...you need it' Roo commented as she came back with two cups of tea.

'Thanks' he replied gratefully

'He will be okay. He is a fighter'

Angelo nodded. There was a barrage of thoughts running through his mind.

Nicole approached the table. 'do you mind if I sit??'.

'Of course we don't.' Angelo said as Nicole

'Roo would you mind getting me a cup of tea?'

Roo smiled. That was Nicole's way of saying that she needed to talk to Angelo.

Roo nodded and walked away from the table. Angelo sat there in silence. He was lost in his own thoughts.

'I had to sign the forms on your behalf'

'Good. He needed it.'

Nicole looked at him. He looked so drained of energy. All of them had been through so much but they were still battling to see if Rob was going to survive.

'I know that you don't trust me.' Angelo started to say

'yet' Nicole said.

'Right. Do you still want to proceed with the divorce?'

Nicole had to admit. She hadn't really thought about it which was not necessarily true. She had spoken about it to her solicitor but she hadn’t heard back from them so she assumed that it was still in progress. She didn’t want to lie to Angelo especially since he would probably hear from them soon enough.

'I don't know.' she conceded a few minutes later.

Angelo had no idea what that meant and was grateful for Roo coming back to the table. 'Here you go, Nic'

'Thanks'

The atmosphere was strained as the three of them drank their coffee. Looking over Roo's shoulder Angelo spotted Roman with Mia. Mia ran into Angelo's lap and buried her face into his chest. He instinctively placed his arms around her. Roman didn't acknowledge Angelo.

'Any news?'

'No, Sid will find us when he knows anything'.

Nicole moved and Roman sat down. He didn't want to argue mainly because Angelo was holding Mia and also because at that moment in time he was too worried about Rob.

Mia sat up in Angelo's lap. He didn't want to let go of her yet and he was glad that she didn't try and get off his lap.

She did whisper into his ears and he looked at her.

'No. No one blames you' he said as he hugged her yet again.

Nicole gasped 'your dad is right.' she says as she sat next to Angelo.

'It is not your fault.' she said holding her arms out and allowed Mia to shuffle onto her lap. Nicole kissed her head and whispered just loud enough for Angelo to hear. She put her hand on his leg reassuringly as she spoke to Mia 'Mummy & Daddy love you & Rob.'

Angelo nodded and clearly could sense that Roman felt uncomfortable but he didn't care. He loved his family even if they were in tatters at the moment, they always came first.

Roo broke the silence. 'Mia do you want a juice?' She indicated yes and looked at her mother and father who both said yes.

She jumped off Nicole's lap and took Roo's hand.

'I think I should take Mia home. She has worn herself out'. Roman said as he broke the silence that was left. 'Yes, I agree. The hospital isn't where she should be’ Nicole wanted to add that neither should Rob but she didn’t want to make the situation more strained than it actually needed to be.

**

[Zetti]

Part Nineteen

'You need counselling' Nicole mentioned to Angelo about half an hour later just after Roo and Roman took Mia home.

Angelo frowned at Nicole's response as they left the canteen and made their way to the waiting room as they waited for Sid. Angelo didn't even try and hide his surprise. He never expected that and Nicole knew that it was a shock to him.

'What?'

'You heard me. You need to come to terms with it all. Move on.'

'If I knew how to then I would do.'

'Is it not enough that I have forgiven you?'

He managed to allow his lips to tug up but he said ‘don’t get me wrong, it does help but it just is not that easy' he admitted.

Nicole tried not to react. She wanted him to move on because if he didn't then she wouldn't be able to either and she needed to move on.

Angelo wanted to respond but Sid walked up to them. 'You can see him now but please be aware that the wires and tubes are there for his wellbeing & don’t be alarmed but we have had to put him in a medical coma, due to extensive swelling on the brain, this is for his own protection’

Nicole nodded. She placed afoot in front of the other. She didn't seem to be able to connect her rational thoughts to practice but somehow she made it into the room where Rob lay.

Somehow the fact that she knew in advance about the wires didn't help her process it because she gasped out of fear and shock.

Angelo stood at the foot of the bed with tears flowing. Nicole knew that he was reliving his own coma experience and she touched his arm just to let him know that he wasn’t alone before moving away from him slightly

'Rob'

He emitted in a croaky voice while Nicole stood at the side of the bed not quite knowing what to do.

Her heart was shattered into smaller pieces every moment she watched the machines beeping and flashing.

**

Nicole had not moved from Rob's bedside in 24 hours. She hadn't even seen Mia but she had to focus on Rob.

His situation hadn't changed. Sid did regular observations but the swelling on the brain had not gone down.

DOCS had been in touch but they agreed with the preliminary findings that Rob had hurt himself with the fall accidentally.

They had to get a statement from Rob but as far as they were concerned that was a formality.

Angelo had been in and out of the room because there could be only be two people in the room and he didn't want to make Nicole leave the room.

'Are you okay?' he heard Roo ask as he got a cup of coffee.

'To be honest, I don't know. I mean at first I was angry and the anger took over but I wasn't that bothered because I wasn't sad but now I can't get rid of this empty void inside me. All because of that one night!' he said with bitterness allowing his emotions to get the better of him.

Roo comforted him. It was easy to forget that the parents suffer as well as Rob lying in the coma.

She wished with all her heart that Rob was going to be okay because she had no idea how anyone was going to cope if it wasn't.

**

Angelo wanted to respond to Nicole’s request regarding the counselling a few moments later as he was drinking his coffee but Sid walked up to them.

'You can see him now but please be aware that the wires and tubes are there for his wellbeing.'

Nicole nodded. She placed one foot in front of the other. She didn't seem to be able to connect her rational thoughts to practice but somehow she made it into the room where Rob lay.

Somehow the fact that she knew in advance about the wires didn't help her process it because she gasped out of fear and shock.

Angelo stood at the foot of the bed with tears flowing. He was reliving his own coma experience.

'Rob'

He emitted that one powerful word in a croaky voice while Nicole stood at the side of the bed not quite knowing what to do.

Her heart was shattered into smaller pieces every moment she watched the machines beeping and flashing.

**

Roman had just got off the phone. Nicole had told him everything that Sid had relayed to her.

If he was being honest with himself he was glad that he wasn’t there at the hospital because it would have made the situation more real.

'What did they say?' Roo asked as she joined Roman at the kitchen table.

'Nothing has changed'

'He will be okay' she said reassuringly

Roman nodded 'I know. He's a fighter'

Roo left him in the kitchen and went to have a shower. She knew it was hard on everyone but if she was honest with herself.

She was worried about Angelo. At least Nicole has her father but she thought who does Angelo have?

**

If Roman was being honest with himself he was glad that he wasn’t there at the hospital because it would have made the situation more real.

He has to be okay, Roman thought, he is strong, he will be okay. Roo left Roman to his thoughts, she could tell he needed to be alone and so she went to check on Mia.

She was awake, Roo smiled as she peered out from under the bedcovers.

‘You should be asleep

Mia had been crying as it was evident from her red raw face. ‘I want mummy’

Roo picked her up and sat on the bed with her ‘I know you do darling’

Mia rested her head on Roo’s shoulders and sniffed ‘Is Rob going to be coming home soon?’

Roo was about to answer when Roman walked in. Mia lifted her head as Roman held his arms out; she jumped out of Roo’s lap and into his arms.

Roo shuffled over and Roman sat next to her, rocking Mia to sleep and interlocking his fingers with Roo.

Not long after that, Mia fell asleep. Roo shifted off the bed and Roman placed Mia in the covers, making sure she was wrapped & warm.

‘What did she say to you?’ Roman asked as they snuggled up to each on the sofa.

‘Just that she misses Nicole and she wanted to know when Rob was coming home.

Roman nodded and then they both just sat there in silence, not knowing what was going to happen but they both just wanted everything to be okay but they couldn’t ignore the gnawing feeling in the back of their head that maybe there wasn’t going to be a happy ending.

**

[Zetti]

The penultimate chapter, this fic has gone by too quickly....

Part Twenty

A week had passed since Rob had been placed in the coma. The swelling hadn't gone down and was causing Sid to be concerned. He didn't want to bring Rob out of the coma until he was sure that the swelling was not going to cause any unnecessary distress to Rob.

Roman walked in just as Angelo had sat down next to Rob.

'What did Sid say?' he asked gently.

'That the swelling still hasn't gone down' Nicole responded albeit quietly, she didn’t have the energy to

'Did he say whether or not he was going to...'

Angelo interrupted as he knew Nicole wouldn't be able to say it.

'Not anytime soon and if they have to leave him in the coma for much longer. They might have to put him on a ventilator'

Normally Roman would have glared at him but the news shook him to the core and for once instead of being angry and annoyed at Angelo.

He was glad that he told him because Nicole wouldn't have been able to which was proven to Roman as she stood up and walked out of the room.

She needed some air and space from everything. Her emotions were battling each other.

She had her physical grief pretty much in control but her emotional feelings were pushing her threshold. She had no idea how long she could compel her physical side of her feelings to stay hidden and locked away.

Those two opposite ends of the spectrum were bearable to deal with on it's own but together it was too painful and very raw. She personally couldn't see herself coping with it. As much as it hurt, she knew the one thing that at that moment in time which would help her even just a little bit.

Angelo.

**

Angelo ignored Roman. He had no desire to get into a fight with him again, not when his own son was fighting for his life. 'A truce?' Roman said a few moments later.

Angelo didn't look up but imperceptibly he nodded. He hated the tension and the awkwardness. He knew that the truce wouldn't fix anything but maybe it would help things.

'Why?'

'What?' Roman asked.

Angelo let his curiosity get the better of him. 'Why make a truce now?'

'Because punishing you for something that Nicole has forgiven you for isn't fair and you both have been torn apart by Rob being ill. I won't add to that tension I love my family... but I will never trust you again around my family, I can’t’

'That’s fine. I don’t deserve your forgiveness' he agreed and stood up. 'I need some air.'

Roman nodded as Angelo made his way to the door. He wanted to get some space. Everything seemed to be stifling him and he hated feeling useless.

**

Every moment that the machines beeped or flashed, his heart felt like it was being pulled into a thousand directions.

He hated not knowing what was going to happen. He heard crying a few metres and as he turned the corner. He saw Nicole sat in a small corner scrunched up and crying.

He strode up to her & picked her up onto his lap and just held her. She was going through so much.

He just wanted to make her feel better. He was supposed to make her feel protected & yet all he did was make things worse. His heart broke more anymore as he saw his family in pieces.

Nicole was incredibly glad that he was holding her. It felt like he was there like a knight in shining armour. She moved her face and body off of him and sat next to him.

'Thanks'

'Don’t mention it. There is no weakness in asking for help'

She nodded as Angelo stood up. He offered her his hand and she took it gratefully. She stood up allowing herself to feel a little bit of happiness knowing that she had Angelo to lean on.

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to lose my emotions’

Angelo looked at her and made her sit down with him on the chairs nearby.

‘Never apologise, he is your son’

‘Ours.’

Angelo nodded and Nicole added ‘I am sorry, I should have never have said that only Mia was yours, you have been such a good father to both of our kids’

‘I appreciate that Nic; we need to make sure that Rob is okay.’

Nicole nodded and stood up ‘Come on, let’s get back and see Rob’

‘Hold on’ Nicole said as she looked at him. ‘You might as well know, seeing as you will find out pretty soon’

‘What?’

‘The solicitors will get in touch with you soon I think’

Angelo nodded & stood up and they both for once walked back together not feeling awkward with each other, well not as awkward as it could have been

**

A few days had passed and Nicole for the first time since Rob was taken to hospital had left the hospital.

She was assured by Roo and Angelo that she would be informed if anything had changed.

Sid had however informed them that they would need to place Rob on a ventilator in the next 24 hours if there was no change.

As soon as she got home. Irene was there with Roman and Mia.

Mia ran like a rocket into Nicole's arms.

'Mama' she cried.

Nicole just held her. She was close to tears and Roman knew it. He held then both protectively as they cried out all their tears.

**