Bound By Fear, Rescued By Love

[TelephotoMarigold]

 

 

Chapter 50

 

 

Ella was laughing as she ushered the children inside the diner they’d found.  Roman followed her cradling Sam on his hip and carrying their bag with him, a grass stain was on his knees where he’d crawled on the grass with the children and she had flowers tucked into her hair courtesy of Sophie and Meggie who’d decided that she looked like a princess.

“Come on babes,” she called to a sulking Georgie, their boy not liking not having any attention

“Mama we eats?”

“Hungry my man?” she asked him reaching down to take hold of his hand.

“Yes Mama,” he said softly his eyes going wide as he looked around the diner.  The place was not so dissimilar to back home and she felt herself feeling a pang of homesickness for Summer Bay.

Meggy gave her a look before looking over at the counter, “Anti’Leen?”

“Aw babes,” Ella knelt down to her, “are you missing your Anti Leen?”

Meggy nodded and on cue two fat tears trickled down her face.

“You’ll see her soon,” Roman promised smiling as she immediately stopped crying and grinned up at him.

“Come on,” Ella guided them into a booth and checked they were seated safely as Roman placed Sam into a highchair he’d brought to the table. 

The waitress brought over menus and took drink orders before moving away.  She found Roman moving towards her and reaching across to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear before he leaned down and kissed her shoulder. His fingers stroking down her arm before he reached and held her hand.

“Hey soldier,” she murmured smiling over at him.

“Hey,” he smiled at her and she felt that warm happy sensation spreading through her again.

“Been a good day?”

“A very good day and maybe your Dad won’t kill me now you appear to be smiling,” he murmured.

Tugging her hand away she pushed at his chest and chuckled when he acted like she’d shot him.  “You,” she groaned.

“Right kids, what do you want to eat? You can have cabbage sandwiches…”

“Roman,” she gave him a look

“Cheeses,” Meggy called out glaring at him.

“You tell Dada my Meggy girl,” Ella laughed.

Roman gave her a look, “Don’t encourage her,” he murmured and she laughed at him again.

“So what do we want kids?  Georgie they do fish cakes,” Ella told her son quietly.

“Mama me wants cheeses,” Meggy called again.

“We know Megs, shush, let Georgie speak,” she placed her hand on her daughters leg under the table and like magic Meggy quieted.

“Burger,” Georgie decided.

Roman grinned, “Like Daddy?”

“Yes,” Georgie gave him a grin.

“That’s my boy.”

Ella smirked, “You think he is….”

“Woman!”

She pointed to pictures on the menu showing Meggy and a silent Sophie what they could have.  “My Sophie tired?”

“No mama,” Sophie pouted.

“Okay, so what does my Sophie want to eat?”

“Nothing,” Sophie muttered.

“Nothing? At all?”

Ella shared at look at Roman and he gave her a small smile before reaching over and lifting Sophie on his lap.  “Is Sophie a little sad?”

“Miss ‘Leen,” Sophie sniffed.

“You’ll see her soon,” he promised quickly.

“Miss Mikey,” she murmured as she sniffed again.

“Now that we can do,” Roman murmured. “Mikey is coming to visit us.”

Ella gasped, “He is?”

“A surprise for Mama,” Roman said whispering in Sophie’s ear, “So don’t tell her.”

“What is Dada saying now?”

“Nothing Mama,” Sophie gave her an innocent smile.

“Really nothing? Really, really?”

Sophie put her finger on her lips and shook her head.

“I wants to know,” Meggy cried out.

“I tells you later,” Sophie promised her.

“Nows!”

“Girls what are we going to eat?” Ella interrupted the two sisters unable to hide the happy smile on her face.

“Cheeses,” Meggy said again.

“Does Sophie want cheeses?”

“No Mama me wants chips,” Sophie said softly with a shy smile as she snuggled up to her father.

“I’ll have chips too,” Ella murmured.

Roman nodded and gestured to the waitress. “And for Sam?”

“Sammy has chips,” Sophie declared.

“No missy, Sam has mash and peas,” Ella murmured.

They gave the orders to the waitress and were soon eating their dinner. Sam reached out to Sophie and she gave her mother a sly look before handing him one of her chips.

Ella was unable to hide her smile, “Uh huh Sophie Nicole Harris.”

“Mama funny!”

“I am Megan Hope Harris?”

“Me’s next!” Georgie shouted.

“George Joseph Harris.”

“Do Sammy!”

“Samuel Raphael Harris,” Ella murmured grinning.

“Elizabeth Louise Laura Addison Harris,” Roman said quietly.

“Mama has too many,” Sophie pouted.

“She does doesn’t she… by the time I’ve said all them I’ve forgotten what I’m shouting at her for,” Roman put in.

“Roman Harris…. Maybe we need to give you a name…”

“Do Mikey!”

Ella sighed and rolled her eyes, “Roman Michael Addison Harris.”

“Mama funny…” Sophie giggled before stuffing a handful of chips in her mouth.

“Slow down missy,” Ella called.

They finished their meals and Roman ordered ice cream for everyone. He shared his with Ella and chuckled as she swapped bowls with him.

“Always tastes better huh,” he murmured.

“Always,” she pouted.

Ice cream finished they led the now sleepy children out to the car and back home.  She decided to forgo bath time as they carried them inside and up to bed; the kids barely staying awake long enough to get changed into their nightclothes.  She watched them sleep from the bedroom doorway before feeling Roman standing behind her.

“How about an early night,” he said softly kissing the back of her neck.

“Uh huh Mister, are you starting something?”

“No…” he drawled kissing her some more.

She leaned back before chuckling as he caught hold of her hand and guided her into their room and over to the bed, kicking the door shut behind them.  She giggled as he pushed her flat on the bed his hands roaming over her body, his lips on hers.

“I..” she gasped arching up on the bed, “don’t know if it’s.. safe.”

“That’s okay.” He said barely pausing as he continued to kiss her, “we’ll just do some necking.”

“Uh huh,” she moaned as the kisses deepened.

“Remember you and me on your single bed?”

“That wasn’t necking,” she moaned.

“Well it started out as necking until your hands started wandering!”

“my hands?” She squawked.

“Oh yes,” he said breathing out heavily as he eased slightly away from her, his hand tracing the shape of her face.  “You put them down…” Catching her glaring at him he chuckled at her. “Didn’t you?”

“Yes, okay yes,” she groaned shaking with embarrassment. “It was me who…”

“Who?” He prompted.

“Wanted more,” she finished in a whisper.

“And thank god you did because I don’t think I could have survived many more cold showers,” he murmured leaning down and kissing her again.

“Ha ha,” she pushed at his chest before catching her breath as she looked into his eyes seeing them blaze with passion.

“Love you Elizabeth Louise Laura Addison Harris,” he murmured leaning down and kissing her again.

“Love you too, Roman Needs-a-Middle-Name Harris,” she murmured before convulsing in giggles as he tickled her. 

[TelephotoMarigold]

 

Chapter 51

 

 

Ella woke feeling something in the pit of her stomach. She gave a gasp and eased slowly out of bed trying not to disturb Roman.  Walking slowly into the bathroom she moaned as she spotted blood.  Gasping again she ran back to Roman and shook him awake.

“El?” He blinked at her.

“I’m… bleeding,” she whispered distraught.

“Okay, okay,” he came fully awake and moved rapidly, getting up out of the bed and pulling on clothes and shoes before getting keys and his phone.  “Are you okay to get to the car whilst I sort out your Dad?”

She nodded her eyes reflecting her misery.

“It will be okay won’t it?”

“I promise,” he said rashly.

The ride to the hospital was a blur, she had no idea he even knew where to go but he must have looked it up at some point and she moaned thinking about the pain in the small of the back and the way she felt a tightening in her stomach.   That combined with the bleeding convinced her that something serious was happening and she felt guilty that she’d had misgivings about being pregnant.

“Roman,” she clutched at his hand as he guided her into a cubical in the emergency department.

“It will be fine,” he promised her as he helped her up on the bed and tried to settle her down.

“I can’t.. not…”

“El stop, take a deep breath, now another one, that’s right,” he nodded at her, “we need to know what is going on so that is why we are here,” he pointed out.

She lifted frightened eyes to him and tried to calm down but the pain in her stomach was telling her something different.

It seemed an age before the doctor came in and then the gamut of tests before they were released to go home. The sky was just started to light up.  Roman insisted on carrying her into the house and up the stairs to their room. He settled her in bed before checking on the children and then bringing her a drink.

She looked up at him and wiped her tears away.

“I’m being silly,” she sniffed.

“Why?”

“Crying. We didn’t want a baby not really,” she muttered.

“No we didn’t. But we would have loved the baby regardless.” He said sitting on the bed and sighing as she moved into his arms.

“I.,..”

“How did you find out you were pregnant?”

“Dr Barton pointed out my symptoms and…..I took a test. It was positive…” she bit her lip as she looked at him. “Then I went to see the doctor he recommended. He took blood and confirmed the pregnancy… I came home and told you…”

He gave her a reassuring squeeze as she recounted the details of discovering the pregnancy.

“So it’s not like the two of them could be wrong is it?” She muttered.

“Maybe,” he murmured in a soft tone of voice.

She lifted tear filled eyes and peered at him, “What are you thinking?”

“Well we just discovered that you weren’t pregnant. Normal HCG count and no sign of a baby on the scan. They just did the test twice.”

“So? What? I felt pregnant Roman,” she placed a hand on her belly and looked at him.  “I felt nauseous…”

“Nauseated,” he corrected.

“Fine, I felt sick,” she muttered giving him a glare.

“But you weren’t sick were you? You ate a lot today and didn’t even ask for a milkshake.”

“I.. didn’t want one,” she whispered.

“Or those biscuits I baked for you?”

“No fine. I wasn’t pregnant. But I …”

“Can you honestly say you felt pregnant El? Because if you did we both know it would be a lie. You didn’t tell me in any romantic way. You didn’t want the baby. Not really. You didn’t…”

“I would have wanted the baby eventually….” She sniffed.

“You would have loved and cared for the baby,” he said after a while and held her as she cried.

“Why would Dr Barton do this?” She asked him after a long time.

“I have no idea,” he shrugged before easing away from her and getting up.

“Roman?”

“I have to go let the ‘office’ know that I won’t be in today,” he said quietly.

“No, you go I’ll be okay,” she said quickly.

“I’m sure you will be but I haven’t had enough sleep and I may kill people…”

She narrowed her eyes, “and I’m supposed to want you home after you say stuff like that?”

Roman gave her a smile.

“No, but I’m sure you could dissuade me….”

She blushed and looked away before she flinched as he leaned over and kissed her cheek.

“I was referring to talking me out of doing stupid stuff but if you have any other ideas feel free to share later,” he said softly kissing her again before he left the room. She watched him go and sank down into the bed and gave into her misery.

 

 

 

“Roman,” George called softly from the kitchen.

Call concluded, he hung up the phone and moved into the room where Ella’s Dad was and sat opposite him after getting a coffee.

“Do you know a Dr Barton?” His first question.

“Barton? No, but…” George paled.

“What is it?”

“Ella’s Mother…”

“Yes, Ella said something about her mother seeing him.”

“Dammit.”

“George?”

“She wasn’t seeing him as a patient. He was one of her…”  He stood and moved away from the table over to the wall where he lifted his fist.

“Don’t George,” Roman reacted quickly moving to stop him.

“Why is that woman still controlling my daughter’s life?”

“Until Ella lets go of her mother she’ll never be free of her. Part of this is obviously because of her.”

“What happened Roman?”

“Ella was told she was pregnant. She found out last night it was all a lie.”

“And this man was responsible?”

“I believe so.”

“We….”

“We are going to wait until Ella gets up later and then we’ll discuss what is going to happen next. I think waiting will give Ella back the control she needs,” Roman said quietly.

George reacted as though he had slapped him, Roman thought and flinched himself before moving back to the table and resuming his seat.

“I could try and… “

“George?” Roman prompted.

“Find out some information on the man?”

“That might be useful.” Roman accepted the other man’s offer knowing he wanted to do something to help.

“How is she?” George asked in a subdued voice.

“We didn’t want another baby so we’re relieved but …” Roman shrugged, “Ella is a wonderful mother.”

“She is,” George agreed. Roman watched as the other man moved around the kitchen getting another coffee for himself before he sat down opposite him.  “She makes me so proud every day. I don’t want her to …”

“Ever be hurt again? I can’t offer you guarantees George, we’re married and we aren’t doing that great.  I love her and will do anything for her but there has to be some commitment from her.”

“Are you putting a time limit on your marriage?”

“Yes,” Roman nodded. “I will settle for about 50 years and El, stop eavesdropping now,” he murmured giving a small chuckle as he heard her moving towards them.

“grr…” she gave him a look before sitting next to him at the table.

“What have you been discussing or can I guess?” She asked placing the baby monitor on the table so she could listen out for the kids. It being too early for even them to be awake yet.

“The situation. Apparently your Dad says that Dr Barton wasn’t your mother’s shrink,” Roman told her as he reached for her hand.

“What was he then … oh…” she gave a small gasp, “Sorry Daddy… I had no idea…”

“It’s okay Princess…” George said quickly.

“Do you still have an appointment tomorrow?”

“For the scan?” She met Roman’s gaze and nodded.

“I think we should still go,” he murmured. “I think they wanted to bring it forward so that I wouldn’t be there and …”

“They could control me?”

Roman snorted and caught both Ella and George glaring at him.

“Sorry, controlling Ella? Like that would ever be possible,” he murmured hearing George burst out laughing.

“I don’t think I like either of you any more,” she huffed moving away and getting a coffee for herself. She sighed loudly as she inhaled from her cup before taking a long drink unaware of the look of bliss on her face.  “What?” She glared at them.

“Nothing,” they parroted before grinning at her.

“Huh,” she was about to say something else when the baby monitor spurted into life as the kids began to wake up.

“I’ll go…” Roman offered.

She nodded blinking away tears as he stood up and moved over to her side, stroking his hand down her arm and tangling his fingers with hers for a moment before moving away from them and up the stairs.

“It will be okay Princess,” he heard George say.

 

 

 

 

Roman brought the kids downstairs still in their nightclothes and grinned over at Ella when she sighed.  “Are we keeping them home?” She asked him.

“I thought so; spend the day in front of the TV doing some snuggling?”  He suggested and she sighed again blinking back tears before moving over to him and taking Sam from his grasp and hugging their youngest.

“Try not to squish him,” George suggested from his stance in the kitchen.

“I much preferred it when you two hated each other,” she huffed moving into the lounge and guiding the children in with her.

“I never hated you,” George said quietly.

“I know that, you let me come back from Afghanistan that time,” Roman said back.

“Why don’t you two start a double act…” Ella called out to them.

“Just wait until Mike…” George began.

Ella spun around and glared at him. “Don’t even think of enlisting my son in the army. He is not…” she stopped as she caught sight of Georgie looking at her. “Any of my sons,” she amended.

“Or Meggy,” Roman put in.  “Especially Meggy.” He emphasised with feeling.

“Not Sophie?”

“Only if you do pink camouflage,” Roman said quietly referencing his daughter’s love of girly themed stuff.

“Stop being bloody clever your two, none of my children are going into the army, got it? And if you even think about….”

“We got it Princess,” George murmured. “I’ll go put those enlistment papers back in the drawer.”

“You…” Ella muttered, her lips twitching with amusement.

“Our kids will be what they want to be,” Roman told her coming over and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She didn’t miss the look he shared with her father but she knew he was thinking about Mike and their son’s fascination with the Army.  She knew that she’d support him in whatever he wanted to do in the end but for her the army bit was scary. She couldn’t lose anyone else she thought and gasped at the sudden burst of pain inside her as she reflectively placed her hand on her stomach. If she’d been pregnant the poor baby would have had an awful start in life.

Roman moved next to her and she blinked up at him as he took Sam from her. “Now then what movie do we want? Is it Sophie’s turn to choose?”

“Break’ast Dada?”

“In a bit Georgie, Dada is going to do a special ‘pink- nic’ in here today,” Roman announced giving Ella a look. She nodded back at him unable to speak before moving to sort the children out.  Sophie chose Tarzan as the movie smiling at her brother’s because she knew Georgie especially liked this one. Even though he’d watched it a dozen times he still did a Tarzan impression every single time. Just like his father in that respect, she thought with a blush.

“So is this a favourite movie?” George asked.

“Oh Daddy,” Ella sighed and pointed to his namesake. “Just wait five minutes and you’ll get your answer and no, do not go on about stuff I did.”

George and Roman laughed at her again before Roman moved away to sort out food. She was glad he was home, she thought with a sigh, not that she’d tell him that he’d be too smug.

Seeing her Dad sitting on the floor with Georgie and hearing her son describe his favourite bits in the movie caused more tears to spring into her eyes and not only that but a sharp pang of guilt that she’d let so many years go by before letting him see Mike.

Roman organised the food bringing it through to the living room and helping her with the kids. He met her eyes as she manoeuvred Sam and helped him eat his breakfast and she knew he was picking up on her sadness.

 

 

[TelephotoMarigold]

Chapter 52

 

 

 

 Ella responded to the knock at the door, opening it and collecting the package delivered to her. She frowned for a second before hearing Roman rushing to her side.

 

“Don’t open that,” he murmured quickly.

 

“What? But…” she looked down at the small brown padded envelope and ignored him as she ripped open the top to see the jewellery box inside. Taking it out she opened the box and looked at the small but perfect silver studs inside and then looked at Roman.

 

“I…” he stopped to clear his throat.

 

“For the baby,” she whispered suddenly understanding the significance of receiving a package from him.

 

“Yes,” he admitted.

 

“You bought me jewellery because of the baby,” she said again framing the words slowly.

 

“I did. The same as when you were …”

 

“Pregnant with Sam and Meggy,” she guessed thinking of how she hadn’t told him about the twins. “So basically I get knocked up and nine months of agony just for the jewellery?” she joked but her voice sounded strained.

 

 

 

“Actually it was the 10 seconds of bliss I buy the jewellery for…”

 

She blushed even as she murmured teasingly, “In that case you definitely owe me more jewellery!”

 

“Well where is my jewellery considering all the moments of bliss I give you? You keep telling me that…”

 

“Roman Harris!” she gasped out and shot a look behind him to where her father was standing with a pained expression on his face.

 

Roman looked to where her gaze was and smirked. “Now tell me you don’t want to move out,” Roman muttered quickly into her ear as she blushed a shade of scarlet.

 

“There are times when I want to divorce you,” she glared at him, “and then times like this when divorce would let you off way too easy mister!”

 

He laughed at her before taking the box from her hands and closing it. “I will take them back,” he said quickly.

 

“No, I love them and I love that you got them even though we weren’t doing so good.  When I wear them I’ll think of how much you show me you love me.”

 

Roman nodded and she could swear there were tears in his eyes but maybe that was because she had them in hers. Blinking she took her earrings off and replaced them with the studs he’d bought loving the simple design and knowing that he’d once more selected something she’d adore. 

 

“There?”

 

“Very nice Princess,” George said quietly. “Are we ready to go?”

 

Ella nodded and exchanged the empty envelope for her handbag she and the two men went out to the car and headed to the appointment at the doctor’s office. From there they were going to pay a visit to Dr Barton himself and get some answers.  She knew that her father was finding this a strain and she felt for him even as she pressed a hand to her stomach and frowned.

 

No they hadn’t wanted a baby, even agreed that Sam was to be their last but as she met Roman’s gaze in the rear view mirror, him driving and her father sitting in the passenger seat she knew that when they were back in Summer Bay there would have to be another discussion about babies.  Maybe when she was well enough … she stopped her thoughts and put them down to hormones. They had decided. Together.

 

Roman booked them into reception and they took a seat in the waiting room before being ushered into the doctor’s office. He welcomed them in and gave them a small chat about his practice and what it could offer, seeming to pause when he saw Roman beside her.

 

“So we’re here today for a scan is that right? So that we can date the pregnancy and get you booked in for the prenatal checks?”

 

Ella flinched and felt Roman reaching for and holding her hand. She pinned a smile on her face and looked at him before meeting the brown eyes of the doctor and nodding.

 

“That’s right,” she murmured.

 

“Ella has had some difficulty in the past,” Roman murmured, “So we need to know the best way to proceed with the pregnancy.”

 

“Are you considering a termination?”

 

“Not at this stage,” Ella bit out her nails pressing into Roman’s hand. He smiled blandly at her and she glared back at him.

 

“Let me get you on the examination bed. There is a gown to get changed into,” the doctor said quickly.

 

He pulled the bright coloured curtain closed leaving her and Roman there. She looked at the black and silver framed examination bed in front of her and groaned.

 

“Be brave El,” Roman whispered before he helped her get changed, her hands were shaking too much to undo the buttons on her blouse or the fastenings of her black skirt. She noted that he folded her clothes neatly and placed them on the chair beside the bed as she hopped on to it.

 

“He offers to do an internal and we’re out of here,” she muttered quietly trying for sassy tone.

 

“Depends if I get to watch…”

 

Her mouth dropped open in shock. “Roman Harris!”

 

“In fact whilst we’re on the subject you know if you ever wanted to try a threesome…ouff” he gasped. “Should I take that as a no then?”

 

“I think you need to take that as prior notice that you are sleeping on the sofa tonight,” she glared at him.

 

Roman grinned at her before leaning over and pressing a kiss to her lips.

 

But before he could say anything else they were interrupted by the doctor calling out, “Are you ready?”

 

The rustle of the curtain shredded on her nerves and she flinched as the doctor moved towards them.

 

“El?”

 

“I’m fine,” she smiled up at Roman.

 

“Okay then, let’s see what we have,” the doctor moved over to her and placed a privacy sheet on her before lifting her gown and reaching for the ultrasound.  He squirted gel on her belly and then passed the wand over her stomach.  She could see Roman watching the screen carefully before giving her a reassuring look.

 

“Right then, I think we have an 8 week date for this pregnancy.”

 

“That would put it around Christmas wouldn’t it?”

 

“You’d be surprised at the number of babies born nine months after the festive season,” the doctor murmured back to Roman.

 

Ella chewed at her bottom lip, “Are you definitely saying the baby was conceived at Christmas?”

 

“From the size I can say for sure,” he told her.

 

“That’s wonderful isn’t it darling,” Roman murmured and grinned as she narrowed her eyes and looked at him.

 

“Yes isn’t it!”

 

“Can we hear the heartbeat?”

 

“I think we can do that.”  Some moving around the cubical before the doctor pressed some buttons on the ultrasound. He made a show of moving the wand around before pressing down as though finding the best place to hear the baby’s heart.

 

The rest of the appointment passed in a surreal blur as Ella put her clothes back on and they re-joined the doctor at his desk to be presented with prenatal vitamins, appointment cards and information.

 

“Last question, there is no reason we have to refrain is there?” she caught Roman asking and she blinked up at him not understanding the question before it dawned on her.  

 

“No sex is quite okay, obviously if you notice any spotting then….”

 

“Thank you,” Roman shook the doctor’s hand treating the visit like routine before they moved out to the waiting room and met back up with Ella’s Dad.

 

“Let’s get out of here,” she said in brusque voice.

 

Roman placed his arm around her putting his hand in the small of her back as he guided her out of the office and to the car.

 

“Dr Barton’s office?” Roman questioned her.

 

She nodded before handing him all the stuff she’d just been given including the fake scans.

 

“Let’s get it over with and then I need a hot bath.” She shuddered in reaction.

 

Roman opened the door for her and helped her into the car treating her like glass and she flinched in reaction. A look at his face told her he’d misinterpreted her reaction so she reached out and caught hold of his hand.

 

“I’m not... delicate,” she whispered to him.

 

“I’ll beg to differ,” he shook his head but leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips.  

 

The journey to Dr Burton’s office passed in another blur as she kept thinking about what was going on. Her finger twisted in the material of her skirt and she frowned looking down at her hands.  She needed a manicure she thought randomly.

 

“Here,” Roman parked up and looked over at her.

 

“Okay,” she said quietly.

 

“If you can’t do this Princess we’ll find another way.” Her dad said quickly.

 

“No, we’re doing this. I can …” she stopped and bit her lip before getting out of the car and moving over to the door. “do this,” she whispered to herself as she entered the building. She didn’t need to turn her head to see that they had followed her inside.

 

Speaking to the receptionist she explained that it was an emergency and she needed to see the doctor for a few moments.  She didn’t have to fake the tears that were trickling down her face. Taking a seat whilst the receptionist checked to see if the doctor could fit her in, she found herself sitting next to Roman.

 

“When he said Christmas, it was real. Not being pregnant I mean. We weren’t intimate at…” she began quietly.

 

“I know.”

 

“I could never imagine a time that we would go so long without…” she bit her lip as she felt him catching hold of her hand.

 

“El there are times we are bound to be too busy to have sex, too tired, too absorbed in other stuff or any other reason. But don’t mistake that for lack of desire for you.  Woman, you are the most beautiful and sexy woman I’ve ever known in my life. I look at you and thank god every day that you are with me and I know that when you make love with me it’s like visiting heaven,” he said softly leaning towards her.

 

“Can I just point out that I’m going to need a shrink at this rate?” George muttered giving them a look.

 

Ella knew she was blushing but a glance at Roman made her smile when she spotted flags of colour on his cheeks.  Her man didn’t do romance he kept telling her but, she touched the silver studs in her ears and smiled. Those thoughtful little gestures never went by unnoticed she thought quietly.

 

“Mrs Harris,” looking up as her name was called she saw Dr Barton had come out of his office, “Ella,” he murmured. “Come through,” he added.

 

She stood and with a glance at Roman she began walking with the doctor into his office. Roman and her father waited a shade longer before they stood and followed.

 

“What is this?” Dr Barton blustered when he saw them. He opened his mouth to speak again when he saw her father.

 

“I think you better step into your office unless you want your entire office to hear,” George said taking charge. He put his hand on Dr Barton’s upper arm and guided him inside almost shoving him in a seat on his own couch.

 

“Aren’t you going to congratulate us?” Roman said folding his arms across his chest and glaring at the man. “Seems that not only can I knock my wife up without trying but also we have a miracle child that can be there one day and not the next. Although that last bit depends on which doctor you see.”

 

Ella flinched at Roman’s words but faced the man.  All the traits that had her trust him in the first place slipped away like he had been wearing some kind of mask. “I trusted you,” she muttered. “Tell me why you’d do this to me? To us?”

 

“She wouldn’t leave him,” Dr Barton crumpled.

 

“My wife?” George asked, “She could have left any time. We weren’t together anymore except in name only. If she told you any different it was to manipulate you.”

 

“Mother …” Ella stopped, “and you? You  slept with my mother? You…” she bit her lip and moved closer to Roman. “What was I?”

 

“She said…” Dr Barton snivelled.

 

“Go on,” Roman muttered in the voice that intimidated nearly every one he used it on and she hastily bit back a smile when she heard it.

 

“She said she couldn't leave George because of you. When you admitted who you were I knew that …”

 

“You punished me for my mother’s lies?”

 

“El,” Roman reached out and pulled her back and only then did she realise she’d flown at the man.  Sucking in a deep breath she let Roman put his arms around her as she stepped back towards him.

 

“She could have left at anytime. She wasn’t a fit mother for Ella. I would still have supported her financially.” George muttered sounding emotional. “She lied to you Dr Barton. Just as you’ve been lying to and manipulating my daughter.  Consider this the end of your career.”

 

“Come on El,” Roman tried to get her to leave.

 

“I need my records,” she said quickly, “personal information.”

 

“Where is it?”

 

Dr Barton was cowering away from them so George moved out to reception and spoke to the receptionist there, she didn’t know what her father said but he got both hers and her mother’s files.

 

“You kept making out that Roman was manipulating me,” Ella muttered. “When it was you wasn’t it? He…”

 

“You won’t get any more answers El,” Roman pointed out.

 

“I…”

 

“Come on, we need to get you home.”

 

She allowed herself to be led out and taken home. From there the police were called and the whole incident was reported to them.  As soon as they left George was dispatched to fetch the kids home from nursery and she retreated to the bathroom for that bath, needing time away from everything. 

 

[TelephotoMarigold]

 

Chapter 53

 

Returning to normal. Ella wondered what that meant as she pulled out of the parking lot and carried on with the journey back to Summer Bay. Roman was finishing up on base and would fly back whilst she transported kids, toys and everything else they’d accumulated in the past year.  Sophie and Georgie were due to start school and she wanted them enrolled in the school in Summer Bay hence her trip. 

Six months had passed since the incident in the Doctor’s office.  Dr Barton had been struck off whilst the other one had been talked into the fake pregnancy scam thinking he was part of her therapy plan.  He had been through a censure process limiting his practice for a year. Her Dad on the other hand had been full of regrets. He’d tried to make it up to her by telling her everything he knew about her mother and as much information as he could scrap together about her biological father.  Not that it mattered as much in the end; she’d finally seen what Roman saw. Genetically this man may have some say in her biology but George Maxwell Addison was her father in every sense of the word, the one who’d do anything for her and in the same way that Roman was Mike’s dad.

The children were napping in the back of the car and she was grateful, Meggy not wanting to be separated from her father and not fully understanding that Roman would be following on in a matter of weeks had proved to be a handful.  First there was the key flushing incident when she’d got hold of the car keys and flushed them down the toilet. Then came unlacing Roman’s trainers and boots. Her husband had laughed at their daughter’s sneakiness until he found his laces cut to pieces and hidden in her toys. 

A glance at the clock in her dashboard confirmed that she was making good time on the trip but it also told her that Roman was due to call her soon. Checking that her phone was nearby she continued with the journey.

After the drama of the fake pregnancy Roman had sat her down to talk about if they wanted another baby. She’d said no at first and believed she meant that but talking things through with Rachel via skype she realised that a part of her wanted another child.  Further discussion with Roman followed and they’d decided against it. Together.

Every time she had gotten broody Roman had sent her a text message telling her all the cons against having another baby, her health, lack of sex, pain of childbirth, lack of sex, tiredness, dirty nappies and night feeds and finally, lack of sex.  She’d laughed the first few times he’d done it but then after a while she’d reached the point where she’d threatened him with the lack of sex part if he sent it again. 

Not that their sex life was that great.  His job kept him tied to regular hours which included early mornings and she’d returned to photography, meaning trips out once a week with scheduled overnights. Sometimes their schedules meant they didn’t connect and she had to admit even if only to herself that she missed him.

Maybe the baby thing put him off, maybe it was just the way things were for a while.  She hoped that once they were back home and with Roman not having to be up at five am most mornings things might be different. Although she knew that her husband would find it hard to settle back in the bay for a while until he felt at home.  

She smiled thinking of home, of seeing all the people that were their friends, Miles especially, having missed his company over the past year and she knew that Roman had found it difficult without having his best friend to talk to about some of their issues.

Lost in her musing she almost missed the turning she needed and cursed silently as she navigated across lanes into the slip road that headed towards the Bay and by coincidence Mike’s school, of course, her phone had to ring then. Barely glancing at the display she cancelled the call not before the kids woke up though. Sam began crying and Sophie joined in.  For the hundredth time since setting off she wondered why she’d chosen to do this trip alone.

“Shush my babes Mama needs to watch the road,” she called in a soft voice.

“Mama, mama, mama,” Sam called out. Because obviously saying it once didn’t get her attention.  Maybe Roman was right when he said teaching them to talk was a bad idea especially as Sam seemed to have some need to say every word three times.

“Kiddos Mama is driving here,” she called again. “Can we shush please?”

“Mama…”

“Sam shush,” she muttered before finding a place to park up.  Slowing down and pulling to the side of the road she stopped the car and looked at her phone, typical she’d missed a call from Roman.  Hitting redial she grimaced as it went through to voicemail and left a message for him before turning to her children.  Climbing into the back with them she organised drinks and wet wipes for hands and faces before finding them something to do.  She knew they were starting to get hungry but if she fed them now there was the risk of the repeat of the travel sickness they displayed earlier which hadn’t been pleasant for any of them. She wrinkled her nose up at the memory of the galactic clean up she’d had to do with four children and the car and knew when she relayed that to Roman he’d add it to the list he texted her with.

“Mama we’s there yet?”

“Not quite my mister man,” she addressed Georgie, “We still have a long way to go.”

“See Cookie,” Sophie sniffed holding up the picture of the cat she had drawn at nursery.

“Missing your kittens my Sophie girl?”

“Yes’s Mama,” Sophie sniffed before offering her a large smile.

“Soon be with them and see Angel,” Ella promised.

“We gets Mikey ‘irst?”

“Yes mister man we’re getting Mikey from school first.”

“How many ticks?” Ella smiled at Meggy’s question, the most words her daughter had spoken since leaving. 

“A lot of ticks,” she said softly taking off her watch and handing it to Meggy. “When this hand, the small one gets to this number we will be with Mikey,” she murmured showing her daughter.

Georgie frowned at her, “I see Mama?”

“Meggy see for now and she’ll tell you when,” Ella explained fastening the watch to her daughter’s wrist grinning at the way Meggy was staring at it.  Luckily it wasn’t a designer watch because she had a feeling that Meggy wasn’t going to give it back to her.

“K’s Mama,” Georgie murmured.

“Are we ready to go again?”

She smiled at the chorus of replies and they set off again to Mikey’s school and she smiled at that because her precocious son secretly loved the name they had for him. 

 

 

 

Roman finally got a chance to look at his phone as he walked through the door to George’s house.  They had decided to stay there after all and he’d been living on edge occasionally being so close to the other man despite the fact that he and Ella were, well wonderful, he thought with a sigh.  When they’d talked over moving back to the bay he’d proposed that she go on her own driving the kids home because he wanted her to know he had faith in her and believed in her.  Not that he wouldn’t worry every second about how she was doing until he had proof that she’d pulled up in their driveway.  Even then he’d still worry about her.

The last six months had been amazing in terms of her recovery. She was getting out more and they’d even been talked into leaving the kids with Irene and George whilst they went away for a long weekend.  Even though he knew she worried about the children that weekend was amazing.  He’d booked a hotel room but claimed they were sleeping in a tent. Even going as far as packing up the car with camping equipment and watching the way her face fell with every item he’d put in from the cooler to tent to the sleeping bags. 

Her expression as they pulled up outside the hotel had been worth the thump on the arm he’d gotten as a result of his subterfuge.  The weekend though had been good for both of them. He hadn’t been in her father’s shadow and had totally relaxed and it had proved that Ella was back to her usual confident self.

There were still little moments when he could see the self-doubt she had, and although he wanted to wipe those doubts away he would force himself to hold back to allow her the space to deal with them.  The more he did that the easier it got for both of them, for him because he was able to trust her fully again and for her because she was able to trust in herself more. It went from being a big thing for them to shrinking down until they barely noticed it.  Ella being able to rely on herself more had increased her confidence in other areas. She’d joined in with some of the activities on base spending time with other wives and partners. Her work was back in that she was taking photographs again and beginning to look at taking on commissions. 

The other good thing about the weekend at the hotel was that he was no longer inhibited by being in her father’s house and by inhibited of course he meant sex-wise. From joining each other in the shower, to spending a long time making love, to sharing a romantic candlelit bath and waking up to make love again. With children that urge had to be clamped down in case the door flew open with one of the kids demanding attention.

Sexually things were good between them but he knew they had been better.  Slipping down to that once a week fumble was fine, it kept them connected but he wanted more, he wanted the sex life they had before Sam was conceived and felt all kinds of guilt over saddling her with another child. Not that he would swap their wonderful boy for anything.

Part of the reason he’d decided against having more children was her health, once they had gotten over the stunt that Dr Barton had pulled he’d made time to sit and listen to his wife over what she wanted and in essence she agreed with him on the no more kids thing, but he’d catch her looking at babies a wistful expression on her face and know she was thinking about having another one.

That was when he’d devised the text message reminder. Typing out the words on his phone made him remember all the reasons why they’d chosen not to have another baby although Ella thought he was doing it just to focus her thoughts.  He looked at Sam and reminded himself every time of how in having that wonderful amazing little boy he could have lost his wife and knew that they’d made the right decision.

Grabbing a beer for himself he moved up the stairs and into the bedroom, settling down on the bed he dialled Ella.

“Hey, is this a good time?” his first question.

“Kids and I are at Mikey’s school just waiting for him to come out,” she said and he felt an immediate spurt of relief.  The first leg of her journey was done.

“So how are they?”

“Sleepy, Grumpy, Dopey and vomit-ty.”

“Are they the new seven dwarfs?”

“Seven? Let’s see what could Nic be called?”

“Bitch-y.”

“Roman Harris!”

“Come on don’t tell me that has never crossed your mind in the whole time you’ve been her stepmother?”

“A few times,” she muttered and he heard her sigh through the phone.

“See,” he chuckled. “She still isn’t talking to me you know,” he added.

“Serves you right for abandoning her,” Ella laughed at him as she quoted him from before.

“As if, no it was the fact that I brought you to an army base last time I spoke to her,” he murmured back.

“That is only because she can’t come round and borrow my clothes.”

“Maybe one of us should let her know we are coming home?”

“No, I like my clothes thank you,” she said quietly.

“Dada?”

“That my other favourite daughter?”

“That’s Sophie, she can’t wait to see…”

“Cookie!” Sophie shouted out.

“And not Angel?”

“Pretty much just the cats.”

“Mikey soon?” Georgie asked again.

“Soon,” Ella called.

“Do I have to let you go?”

“No we’re good,” she said softly her voice changing.

“I’m missing you already,” he commented.

“Missing you too, thank you by the way.”

“What you thanking me for now? Last night?” he referred to the lovemaking they’d had before she’d left and smiled as he himself remembered it.

“Ha, no,” she muttered.

“Bet you are blushing,” he said softly.

“That is a bet you’d win and you know you would. No, thank you for letting me do this. I know that wasn’t easy for you.”

“It was and it wasn’t in equal measure.”

“Ouh Mikey!”

“Now I have to go, speak again in a bit,” she promised him.

Roman allowed her to go and took a drink of his beer, keeping his phone close he picked up his book and began reading.

 

 

“Mum,” Mike called urgently as he wheeled his case and carried an assortment of bags towards the car.

“A whole suitcase? You know you are coming back after the weekend right?”

“Du’h,” Mike muttered. “Just got stuff to take home and…”

“Teasing, here you go to the kids and I’ll take this,” she took some bags off him and the suitcase moving to the back of the car whilst he went to see his siblings.  Meggy showed him the watch and told him how many ticks it would be until they were home. Sophie showed him her Cookie picture as Georgie frantically tried to get his brother’s attention.

She stowed the bags in the car and handed him the phone so he could talk to his dad. Each of the kids came up with something to tell Roman as the phone went round the group before the call ended. 

“Right are we all set?” She asked smiling as Mike chose to sit in the back of the car with the others.

“Yes, let’s go home Mum,” he called to her.

She set off back to Summer Bay.

 

[TelephotoMarigold]

 

Chapter 54

 

 

Roman eased in through the door and grinned at the way Ella had left it unlocked, although considering that his flight has only just landed after being delayed for three hours he was grateful.  Dropping his bag just inside the door he looked around, peering through the dark. It was good to be home he thought with a sigh. He had to be back at his desk on Tuesday morning but he wanted to see Ella, check on the house and see how the kids were.  Mainly see Ella.

Moving silently up the stairs he passed the room where the children were peering in at them seeing them snuggled back in their beds. From what Ella said the first night they had spent with her not quite sure of their surroundings.

“Hey soldier,” she called standing in the doorway of their bedroom, in their home and he grinned at her. The light was behind her giving her a soft romantic halo and he smiled at that.  “What are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t wait until next month,” he said moving over to her and pulling her into his arms.

She pressed herself against him and sighed as his lips met hers.

“Wait for what exactly?”

“This,” he chuckled softly his voice husky voice as he felt the first stirrings of passion.

“Roman Harris,” she moaned against his lips and stepped backwards into their bedroom. Within seconds he’d followed her pausing only to shut and lock the door behind him.   Dragging off his clothes he pushed her down on the bed and covered her body with his own.

“Love me?” she whispered pressing frantic kisses down the column of his neck.

“Always, with all of my heart,” he answered breathing heavily as he pushed her nightdress up and over her head.  Looking down over her naked body he moaned between his lips.  “I’ve missed you,” he moaned.

“Roman Harris,” she giggled as she ran her hands down his back.

Losing himself in her he began to make love to his wife.

 

 

 

Ella woke first looking over at his profile as his head lay on the pillow next to hers. 

“Morning,” he grouched.

“Sleep well?”

“Not my pillow,” he muttered. “Aside from that and some strange aches…”

“God, stop that!” she made to move out of the bed knowing her face was flaming with embarrassment.

“From the flight,” he added giving her a look as he grabbed hold of her and dragged her back into his arms.

She struggled for a couple of seconds before feeling her body relaxing against his.  Not that all of his body was relaxed she thought with a smirk as she ran her hand down his back and cupped his naked butt with her hand pulling him closer to her.

“That isn’t fair,” he whispered in her ear before his teeth teasing nipped her earlobe.

She couldn’t help the moan that escaped her lips. “And you think that is?”

“Erm..” he made a non-committal sound before kissing his way down her neck sighing against her skin as she arched her head to allow him greater access.

Just as they rolled over together came the first loud knock at the bedroom door and the shout of Mama from Georgie.

“He’s got the same timing as his Granddad,” Roman muttered easing back and kissing the end of her nose.

Even though she knew he was joking she could still feel the waves of frustration coming off him from being in her father’s house for a year and she sighed loudly as she reached for her nightdress tugging it back on.

“Pass..” he began before groaning as she threw his boxers at him hitting him in the face. “Thanks,” he muttered sounding sarcastic.

“You’re welcome, maybe you know do less complaining about my Dad…” she glared at him as she stood and moved to the door.

“Wait a minute,” he called as he dragged on the underwear. Sitting up in bed he arranged the pillows and nodded to her.

Ella unlocked the door and smiled as she saw Georgie and Sophie standing there with Sam, Meggy was nowhere to be seen.

“Alright…” she muttered.

“Dada?” Georgie spotted his father first and ran over to the bed.

“Wait a minute, how did Sam get out of his cot?”

“We helps him Mama,” Sophie said scuffing her foot on the floor and giving them an innocent look.

“Well don’t helps him anymore,” Ella said torn between laughing at her daughter and trying to sound stern.

“k’s Mama,” Sophie murmured not meeting her eyes.

“I mean it Soph,” Ella said quietly.

Sophie nodded before skirting her mother and after grabbing hold of Sam’s hand she led him over to the bed and tried to lift Sam up.

“Sophie Nicole Harris, what did I just say?”

Ella quickly moved to catch Sam and placed him on the bed, moving the pillow to stop him rolling off before she lifted a subdued Sophie up.

“Where is the other one?”

Ella raised an eyebrow as she glanced at her husband.  “Other one?”

“Sure we had another one somewhere,” he said giving her a grin as Sophie and Georgie giggled at them.

“Oh that one, well I left her at a service station….” Ella murmured as she left the room and went in search of the ‘other one’ herself. Meggy being quiet?  Could only mean trouble of galactic proportions.  Maybe even the start of world war 3.

She finally found her daughter downstairs in the lounge with her father’s bag with her. She’d emptied it out and piled his stuff on the sofa.

“And what are you doing Missy?”

“Dada no here,” Meggy said quietly.

“Have you looked upstairs?”

Meggy tilted her head to one side and looked at her. “Dada?”

“And you can tell me how you managed to undo the stair gates Missy,” Ella called after her daughter as Meggy ran out of the room and up the stairs clunking her feet on each step until she reached the top.  Ella heard her daughter’s excited giggles as she saw her father and smiled before heading into the kitchen. Coffee first and then breakfast. Opening the utility room door she let out the cats to roam the house grinning as Cookie immediately took up residence next to the fridge door.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go upstairs and see your favourite person?” She asked the cat even as she took a slice of ham from the fridge and gave it to the cat.  Cookie gave her a look before snaffling the ham down.

Ella washed her hands then moved around the kitchen sorting out food and drinks. She heard footsteps on the stairs and turning her head she saw a procession of children including Mike who must have been woken up by the other kids.

“Morning,” she called out.

“So er yeah, Dad’s here then…”

“And Meggy unpacked for him,” Ella gestured to the lounge with her hand.

“She did what?” Roman muttered following the kids with Sam in his arms.

“Worried where your stuff is going to end up?”

“Pretty much yeah,” he grouched before leaning over and kissing her cheek on the way past to deposit Sam in his highchair.  “Sit down and I’ll…” he began.

Ella handed him a cup of coffee, with cream in and smiled at his goofy expression. “Breakfast is ready,” she said softly running her hand down his back.

“So Dad what…”

Roman grinned as Mike began questioning him.

“I’m here for the weekend only,” he said interrupting him. “Going to check on things. See everyone and… relax.”

“You mean relax now you know I got everyone here safe,” Ella grumbled at him.

“Something like that,” Roman kissed her again before sinking into a chair next to Mike. Turning his head he saw Meggy standing by him and he picked his daughter up and placed her on his lap as he began reaching for cereal.

Mike grinned at his sister, “Meggy really?”

“Dada no leave,” Meggy instructed him.

“Dada has to go back to work on Tuesday but you’ll see him again next weekend,” Roman murmured.

“Really?” Ella looked at him.

“Not going to leave my best girls for long,” he said quietly catching hold of her hand and pressing a kiss to it.

She smiled at him before sinking into the seat between him and Sam, placing a bowl of bananas and cereal in front of her son.  She handed him a spoon and guided it into the bowl watching as he ate his food, stuffing a load into his mouth.

“So er..”

“Er Mike?”

“What are we going to do today?”

“I have to go to the beach,” Ella murmured.

“You do?”

“I seriously have to go swimming,” she declared glaring at Roman.

“Hey we could have found a beach over the past year….”

“You say that now?”

“Be’ch?”

“Yes Sophie we are going to go to the beach to swim,” Ella told her daughter and grinned as Sophie shot up and ran out of the room.

“Mama.”

“No Georgie you eat your breakfast my mister man, we aren’t going yet,” she murmured as Mike was forced to ease his brother back into his seat. 

“I’ll go see Leah then,” Roman proposed.

“Oh no you don’t. You have to go see Nic …”

He narrowed his eyes as he looked at her and muttered something very quietly mindful of the children in the room.

“Dad I can read lips,” Mike announced grinning at his dad.

“Thank you for getting the house sorted out,” Ella changed the subject. “Especially getting the fumigators in.”

“Didn’t want you to walk in and see a spider,” he smiled over at her.

“Seeing wouldn’t be a problem it would be the drive back to my father’s house you might have objected to.”

“I don’t know, wouldn’t have missed you the other night,” he murmured.

“Ha,” she leaned forward and kissed him.

“Love you,” he said quietly against her lips.

She met his eyes and smiled just as Sophie ran back in the room and threw her swimming costume and a towel from the bathroom on the floor.

“We goes now,” Sophie instructed.

“We eat breakfast now,” Ella called back trying not to smirk at her daughter.

 

 

 

 

Roman knocked on Nic’s door and waited.  He’d just left the others at the beach and as much as he tried to get out of it Ella had made him come to visit his elder daughter.  Glancing at his watch he wondered if he could let it go with just one knock at the door. Ella would know of course that he hadn’t made that much effort and he’d find himself on the sofa for the night. 

Lifting his hand he knocked a second and then third time before the door was slowly opened and Nic stood in front of him.

“So you’re back then,” she said putting her hand on her hip and glaring at him.

“Temporarily,” Roman began and swore when Nic slammed the door in his face. He lifted his hand and knocked again smiling as Geoff opened the door this time and gave him a look.

“Okay so you’re the reason Nic is…”

“Geoff I’m commuting for the next month until I handover to my replacement. Ella and the kids have moved back and are at the moment down the beach. If my daughter is finished sulking she can come and join us,” he muttered before spinning around and walking away.

 

 

 

 

“Has he gone?” Nic asked wiping her face as she moved to the door.

“Come on we need to take the kids to the beach,” Geoff announced.

“I’m not in the… “

“Nicole get your butt in one of those expensive bikinis that you don’t show me the price ticket off and …”

“Geoffrey Campbell,” she gasped.

“And we’re going to the beach,” he finished.

“I really don’t feel like…”

“Come on kids, we’re going to the beach,” Geoff announced in a loud voice.

 

 

 

 

 

Ella looked up as she sensed Roman walking towards them, she could tell by the way he walking that things hadn’t gone well with Nic and she sighed.  Stubbornness seemed to be a genetic quality she thought glancing at Meggy.

“Hey,” Roman murmured as he reached them.

“Not good?”

“Told Geoff to meet us here so we’ll see. She’s got to forgive me eventually right?”

“Talking about Meggy again?” Mike called overhearing them.

“Ha, no this time it’s her other sister…”

“I’ll speak to her,” Mike offered looking earnest. “It wasn’t like….”

“Mike it’s up to Nic and your Dad to sort out.”

Ella looked down at Meggy who was running over to her father and clutched at his leg looking up at him.

“She’s going to forgive him too right?”

“Meggy? No, probably not.”

“Hey!” Roman protested before picking Meggy up and giving her a cuddle.  As he put her back down he smiled before noticing she’d taken his wallet out of his shorts. “Megan Hope Harris,” he muttered taking it from her and putting it back in his pocket.

“See,” Ella said before squealing as Roman picked her up and swung her around.

He paced down to the water’s edge and mimed throwing her into the sea before lowering her back to her feet.

“She is so like you,” he claimed looking over at a giggling Meggy.

“Yeah I know and that is why you can’t say no to them, got it.”

“Ella Harris,” he grouched.

She lifted her hand and stroked away the worry line above his eye. “Nic will come around. She loves you after all,” she said softly leaning up to kiss the corner of his mouth.

“I know, it’s just tapping into her abandonment issues. I get it. Just…”

“Don’t like seeing your little girl upset?”

“No,” he said leaning down and kissing her.

“All you can do is give it time and when she realises you are home… I think I should tell her about…”

“Disappearing on me? No El, she won’t forgive me after that because I would be the reason you left.”

“And not my psycho shrink putting ideas into my head?”

“Exactly, and my daughter doesn’t deserve to know everything. Not if she’s going to carry on being a brat,” he sighed again.

“Come on old man lets go be with our kids. Go surfing with Mike,” she murmured heading back to their kids. She took over watching Sam whilst Roman headed to the water with Mike.

[TelephotoMarigold]

 

 

Chapter 55

 

 

 

 

Roman had his arm around Ella’s shoulders as they walked to the diner together and he couldn’t stop smiling because she had slipped her hand in his back pocket. Their steps matched as they hustled the children in front of them. Mike was pushing Sam’s buggy and talking some nonsense story to him. For his part Sam was looking up adoringly.

Nicole, Geoff and family had joined them on the beach and although he and his daughter had spoken briefly he knew there hadn’t been real conversation.  Ella had tried to smooth things over as had Mike and he smiled again his glance going over to the boy, although he was very much a young man now.  Whatever Mike did in life he was going to make them very proud, unless of course, he chose to go into the army and Ella killed him.

“What are you smirking at now soldier,” she muttered peering up at him as they stopped just outside the diner door.

“Just things,” he sighed, “Sounds silly but it is good to be home.”

“It is,” she agreed with him and smiled herself as he leaned down and kissed her.

“Hey, impressionable kids here!”  Mike called out.

“Like you haven’t seen them kiss a million times already,” Nic called out overhearing them.

Mike grinned over at her as he guided the youngsters into the diner. 

“Luckily I haven’t seen…”

“Finish that sentence at your peril!” Roman called out to him.

Mike flushed as Nic and Geoff laughed at him and then it was getting the kids inside where they greeted Leah and Colleen with excited squeals.

“I guess they missed them,” Geoff murmured.

“We know,” Roman murmured, “Every place we took them they asked about their Anti ‘Leen.”

“Aww that is so sweet,” Nic murmured looking over at Georgie teaching his Anti ‘Leen how to salute.

“Better not be a foreshadow,” Ella muttered giving him a glare.

“El,” he protested.

She huffed through her lips before guiding the children into a booth and organising drinks for them. 

“It is so good to see you back,” Leah remarked bringing over the drinks.

“Have you been missing him?”

“Maybe a little,” she murmured.

“I’m right here,” Roman muttered.

“Only for a little while right Dad,” Nic said a note in her voice. Before he could remark she clarified her statement, “But he’ll be back for good soon and we can start eating toasties again,” she murmured.

Roman laughed catching sight of Ella smiling at him.  He stroked down her arm before reaching and holding her hand.  She glanced at their entwined fingers before giving him that special smile of hers and unable to resist he leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips.  Their eyes met and held and he felt all the love in the world for his wife in that moment.

“Strike me,” Irene called out as she entered the diner. “I need to have a word with his nibs if he is going to keep secrets from me,” she muttered.

“Nana Rene,” Meggy called out.

“Hello scamp,” Irene said coming over and accepting a hug from each of the children in turn.

“We’s been be’ch Nana Rene, ands we’s swim,” Georgie said in a rush.

“I can see,” she murmured nodding at Georgie.

“Nana Reen?” Leah said slowly, “Is that something we need to know about?”

“Yes Irene,” Nic added to the peer pressure.

“Nothing to report,” Irene said slowly her eyes going round the group.

“Now when Ella says something like that I know…”

His wife blushed. “Know what soldier?”

“There ususally is something to report,” he finished before using it as an opportunity to kiss her again.

“Has someone let Aden know you are back?”

“Or Miles?”

“They want a BBQ,” Ella said quietly.

“I can tell that, but I just wanted it to be us this weekend,” he confessed.

“Ah but a BBQ,” she murmured. “Seeing everyone,” she suddenly flinched and he knew she’d remembered what happened last time they’d had one. When she’d told him she didn’t love him.  He only just managed not to flinch himself before releasing her hand so he could put his arm around her.   Lifting his other hand he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear before caressing her cheek softly.

“I guess we could do a bbq,” he said slowly before leaning down and kissing her. “But you’re not allowed to drink wine,” he added in a teasing voice.

“But you love me when I’m a drunken…” she stopped talking and looked around as everyone had their eyes on them. “Gah, you,” she muttered.

He smiled as people laughed before organising the group with shopping trips and beer runs.  Irene immediately offered babysitting services and groaned as Nic placed Robbie into her arms.

“I meant these darlings,” Irene mock-scowled at Nic.

“Are ours not the most darlingest?”

“When that one is the spit of you madam?”

Nic giggled her eyes going to Angel. “She’s ….”

“Just like her mother,” Roman called out.

“Daddy,” Nic pouted at him.

He found Ella reaching out and stroking his back and he gave her a look.

“Miles,” she prompted.

“I’ll go and see him.” He murmured.

“Go now whilst Meggy is preoccupied,” she pointed out and he knew he had a goofy smile on his face because she was smart, cunning and thoughtful.  Pressing a swift kiss to her lips he moved and disappeared out the back of the diner. Glancing back he saw Nic about to say something and Ella gesturing with a finger to her lips to keep her quiet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roman knocked on Miles’s door a couple of times before the man answered in as slow a time as possible. He grinned when he saw him.

Miles blinked at him.  “Roman?”

“Mate?”

“What are you doing back?”

“Well I’m happy to see you too mate,” he drawled before easing past Miles and walking into the house. “Where…”

“Kirst? She left me.”

“Sorry mate, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t seem to matter much and anyway you were off on your big adventure,” Miles walked into the kitchen and began shifting dirty pots on the top to put the jug on to boil.

“Here,” Roman stepped forward and eased the other man aside taking over the kitchen. He cleared the tops down putting the dirty pots into soak before making two coffees.  They were both black, the dregs of milk in the fridge had seen better days and he threw that and something that had been food several days ago into the bin.

“Thanks,” Miles said quietly moving to sit at the table. He pushed aside a pile of papers to place his cup down and Roman did likewise sitting opposite him.

“So what are you doing tonight?”

“That’s what you want to ask me? After being away for a year?”

“Ella left me for three weeks. Didn’t know if she was alive or dead. Then when she came back she told me she didn’t love me.  Not in an I’m going to divorce you way, no, she just calmly announced it.  Roman I don’t love you.  Then we thought things were going okay when she told me she was pregnant.”

“She lost it?”

“Nah, that would probably be preferable to what we went through. At least then we could grieve. No, turns out her shrink was getting some sick twisted thrill over us.” Taking a long drink from his cup Roman told Miles everything.   From the frustration of living with Ella’s father to having to decide to stay there without knowing what Ella would do and how he’d loved being back in uniform.

“God Roman, how did you cope?”

“I don’t know Miles. I just kept going for El,” he admitted. “Now you can tell me about Kirsty can’t you?”

“Not as bad as what you went through,” Miles gave a shrug.

“Miles,” he prompted.

“She cheated.  Not like an affair behind my back. No, she got tempted, gave into it and told me right away.  I thought,” Miles gave another shrug before pushing a hand through his brown floppy curls. “maybe we could work through it. But no, she left. Seen Ollie a few times but it’s not the same.”

“And now this…” Roman gestured to the mess around the room and included the other man in his statement.

“I’m a sucker for depression.”

“Ella is the opposite, never known the house to be so clean as when she’s depressed.”

“So you’ll know if her depression comes back then?”

Roman found himself laughing and he nodded. “Yeah mate something like that.”

“You never said did you want another baby?”

“At the time no,” Roman admitted slowly.

“But now?”

“If I knew Ella would be okay I’d say yes. Because I know she wants one.”  Roman shook his head. “Now then, go get a shower and change.”

“Not going to talk you out of it am I?”

“Ella sent me to get you. What do you think?”

Miles laughed at him before he slowly drained the last of his drink and stood up heading up the stairs.

Roman finished his coffee and took the cups through to the kitchen. He took the chance to clear up, washing up the pots and putting them away. A glance around the kitchen and he cleared out the rubbish, throwing open the window to let in fresh air before giving the rest of the room a quick tidy. He would have done more but Miles came back down the stairs.

“You sure it’s Ella who does the cleaning?”

“Mate you don’t want her round here she’d clean your windows, steam clean everything and make your bed with hospital corners,” Roman murmured.

The two men laughed.

 

 

 

“Where did Dad go?”

“To see Miles,” Ella said quietly mindful of Meggy over the other side of the diner.

“Oh..” Nic pouted reminding Ella of her sisters.

“He’s coming home Nic,” she pointed out, “he needed this.”

“And you El, what did you need? Were you happy when he decided to re-up?”

“Eventually,” Ella murmured not mentioning the three weeks she was away.

“I’m sure,” Nic scoffed.

“Nic just let it go,” Ella muttered. “Take it as a good sign that when we went I was a basket case and now we’re back I’m okay and your father is …”

“My father is what?”

“Wonderful,” Ella said with a dreamy expression on her face, “He’s okay; he needed to see what he could do.”

“So you two are really okay because when we came to see you …” Nic paused and looked around as though checking the younger children weren’t listening. “you were hurting. The both of you.”

“We were.” Ella admitted before she could stop herself feeling her face flushing as Nic looked at her. “But we worked through our issues, went to some counselling sessions and we’re home now. Everything is okay.”

“I’m sure,” Nic murmured before walking away back to the kids.

Ella watched her go before she sighed. Ordering another coffee for herself she sat at the counter for a while letting the children intermingle the other side of the room.

“Alright what is the goss?”

“Leah?”

“Come on a year away and you can’t tell us nothing happened?”

“I can,” Ella forced herself to meet Leah’s gaze and sighed as Leah looked back at her.

“Well it wasn’t the best time he could re-up, that’s the phrase isn’t it?  You were just getting better.”

“Maybe it wasn’t the best time but seriously the last six months have been the best…” she bit her lip at what she was revealing.

“I see.” Leah smiled gently. “Your Mike told us about the gun range and how you nearly beat Roman’s score.  Bet your husband kept in line after that.”

Ella forced a laugh and nodded.   That was the night she’d disappeared on him. Suddenly she was regretting arranging the BBQ, regretting deciding on coming to the diner after the beach. Regretting even coming home and the frowned at the way her thoughts were going.

“S’cuse me,” she whispered slipping away from Leah’s side and out of the diner. Pulling out her phone she dialled and flinched when Miles answered the call.

“He’s driving.” The other man said immediately.

“Can you ask him to pull over I need to talk to him in private,” Ella said quickly.

She heard Miles repeat what she said and then muffled voices until Roman spoke.

“What’s up?”

“They are asking me questions about…” she gasped at the rapid breaths she was pulling into her lungs and recognised the panic signs, “our year away and I don’t know what to tell them and I think…”

“Are you having a panic attack El? Miles and I are in Yabbie Creek to pick up stuff so I can’t come to you.”

“I am… Nic and Leah and…. “

“Elizabeth Louise Laura Addison… take a deep breath.  You are stronger than this. You are better now. You don’t need me to tell you that,” Roman said in a tone she recognised from when he was instructing his men and she found a strange kind of comfort in that.

“I… what do I tell them…”

“Anything you want to. If you want to tell them the whole story go ahead. If you don’t that is fine too. Be aware I’ve told Miles everything.”

“Why would you do that … we agreed…” she muttered. Anger was making her panic recede.

“Because I’m not here for the next month and if you need someone to talk to there is Miles and because…. He needed it. He and Kirst have split up.”

“Oh no,” she gasped. “Make sure he’s coming tonight.”

“Yeah I’ve already told him you ordered me to do that,” Roman laughed.

“I did not order you… I just….”

“Got to go or I’ll miss the shops. Get someone to give you a lift home and put the kids down. It’s going to be a long night for them.”

Again he used that authoritative voice and she nodded before she realised what he was doing. Manipulating her into forgetting her panic. Dammit, she groaned silently.

“I’ll consider doing that,” she muttered hanging up on him. 

[TelephotoMarigold]

 

 

 

Chapter 56

 

 

They welcomed Roman home with a BBQ and party. They’d made him wear his dress uniform for a laugh and he’d grouched for days before and after, especially when Jacko and Pete had turned up wearing board shorts and Hawaiian shirts.  Mike had come home from school for the holidays and they’d spent long days at the beach as a family and days out before he and the twins went to school.   She’d kept Sam and Meggy home for a while before places in crèche and nursery became available. Roman had slipped back into working at the diner, picking up double shifts as he encouraged both Leah and Irene to take long overdue holidays.  Life had returned to normal in a short space of time.   

He also encouraged her to continue to take sessions with Rachel although he trusted her to be in charge of her own treatment, often seeming surprised when she mentioned she had a session booked.   He also pointed out that she needed to start sorting out trips away for her photography and as much as she hated the smug look on his face she knew he was right.  They’d talked about her doing as much when the children were at school and she’d enjoyed the few sessions she’d down up in Perth.

She’d also, at Roman’s prompting, begun to have lunches with Irene, Leah and Rachel. He’d pointed out to her that she’d enjoyed the first one and that she’d needed the release of talking to a group of peers rather than just the family.  She’d hated him for knowing her so well because she’d been thinking of it herself.    The first few lunches had been stilted because she hadn’t wanted to share a lot of information about Perth but then as time moved on she felt more and more at ease with them.  Roman had stated that it was up to her if she wanted to tell Leah, with Irene dating her dad and Rachel being her therapist they both knew the gist of it.

There was one thing that wouldn’t go away; in fact it weighed heavily on her mind.  She wanted another baby.  She’d even seen a specialist and had a check-up, not that she’d told Roman that bit when she’d mentioned the baby thing with him again.

Moving into her new study, Roman having built the shelves and decorated it for her, she sat behind the makeshift desk and opened up her laptop.

She’d been emailing a few contacts about photography assignments and wanted to check on them. Just as she began working her phone rang. A glance at the display told her she didn’t recognise the number and she answered cautiously.

“Hello,” she murmured.

“Is that Elizabeth Harris?”

“Yes, who’s this?”

“Hi, yeah, sorry you don’t know me I got your number from a website.”

Ella frowned. “Sorry what website?”

“You were asking for information about my Dad,” he murmured.

“Ah well, that was a long time ago….” She flinched, “Did you say dad? As in your father?”

“Yes he was married to my Mum,” the voice went on to fill in the details and Ella felt the blood draining from her face and gasped in some panicky breaths.

“Nate?”

“Yes?”

“I need to go… just for a bit…. I’ll call you back okay,” she murmured her voice quiet.

“Er sure, okay.”

She cancelled the call and looked at her phone like it was going to bite her.  What could she say to this man? Did he know about their father’s history? Did he have any idea who she was?

Questions flittered through her mind and she opened up a word processing programme on her laptop and wrote a list of them before calming herself down enough to call him back.

“Er yeah, hi, I guess this is as …”

“Freaky for me as you?” she finished for him.

“Yeah, look I don’t know why you are asking about him. Frankly he’s… well he ran out on me and my mum when I was a kid.  But if there is anything I can answer for you…” he trailed off and she breathed out slowly.

“He’s my biological father,” she announced her voice coming out breathy.

“Oh wow, I wondered, when I saw the advert…” he paused before explaining that he could meet her in the city the following week if she wanted to talk.

“Maybe,” Ella murmured thinking of Roman’s response. Her husband would be suspicious to the point where she’d feel like she shouldn’t meet this man.  Her brother, she whispered to herself.  She hadn’t had a brother for a long time and the word itself felt funny coming from her lips.  “Email me some details and I’ll let you know,” she said finally.

The call ended and she sat back in her chair looking at her phone.  A shudder ran down her spine as though she’d just met her fate and she dismissed the feelings as she focused once more on her work.

 

 

Ella sat in the car outside the house with the engine off. She’d been to meet Nate and still hadn’t told Roman about him knowing that the guilt of keeping it a secret was weighing on her already.  Before she’d come home she and Nate had made arrangements to meet in a week’s time to take a DNA test to confirm their relationship.  Not that she had any real doubt after looking him in the eyes. There were certain mannerisms they shared, the way they moved their hands as they reached for the coffee cups for example.

It made her nervous at how much she’d inherited from her biological father if she were honest with herself.  Nate had been aware of their father’s issues but had been shocked when she revealed how she was conceived.  That had been a difficult discussion to have.

Now she was home, safe.  Moving out of the car she went inside and stopped dead at seeing her father sitting on the sofa next to Irene.

“El,” Roman murmured coming in from the kitchen and handing out drinks, glasses of champagne with a non-alcoholic version for Irene.

“What’s going on?”

“Princess, I….” George murmured beginning to explain.

“George and Irene are engaged,” Roman finished quietly moving to her side.

Feeling the emotions of the day catching up with her she spun around and ran out of the room and up the stairs into their bedroom. Her father was getting married and as much as she loved Irene she knew the other woman had a complicated past.  Looking up she saw Roman standing in the doorway of their bedroom looking over at her.

“El?”

“I’m okay, just need a moment.  Going to get changed and come down.”

“Does your moment need a hug?”

“No, god no… you’ll make my moment cry and that would be silly because Daddy is happy and that’s all I want for him,” she muttered stepping away from him and into the en suite.

She heard Roman walking away and began to pull herself together, splashing cold water on her face before refreshing her make up.  Releasing her hair from the bun she’d had it in, she finger combed the soft waves letting her hair fall down naturally around her face, before changing into shorts and a vest top. Feeling more relaxed and in control of herself she headed down the stairs to congratulate her father.

 

 

 

The night of her father’s stag do arrived and she slowly walked down the stairs knowing that Roman was standing at the bottom of them watching her.  She smiled as she saw the look in his eyes when he saw her outfit.  When her father had asked her to be his best man she’d teared up and nodded becoming too overwrought to speak.   That had left her in charge of organising the stag do and she’d had great fun teasing her father about the clubs she could take him too, in fact teasing Roman too.  Tonight though, her husband was staying behind with the kids because he wanted her to ‘go out and enjoy herself’. 

She’d grinned at him and murmured that what happened on a stag do stayed on a stag do and knew from the expression on his face that he was remembering Geoff’s.

She’d chosen to wear a suit for tonight, white dress shirt, black trousers and jacket.  Her hair she’d pulled back into a sleek ponytail and her jewellery was reduced to her watch, earrings and wedding ring.  The black dress trousers had a turn up on the bottom which drew the eyes down to the expensive and designer spike high heeled shoes she was wearing that had straps coming around her ankles.  They were bright red, as was the bandeau top she was wearing under the white shirt and the patent belt tucked into the loops in the top of the trousers.

“Elizabeth Louise Laura Addison Harris,” Roman grouched giving her a look.

She reached the bottom step which meant that she was on eye level with him and grinned seeing his dilated pupils and the flush of colour in his cheeks.

“So,” she said knowing his eyes would be drawn to the bright red lipstick covering her lips.

“I want you to stand right there,” he said pulling out his phone and taking a step back to take a picture of her.

“Roman Harris,” she shook her head at him.

He moved back to her side and leaned forward to whisper in her ear, “I love you my damned sexy witch and if you didn’t have to go out you’d find yourself ravished where you are standing,” he murmured in a husky sounding voice.

“Might be a bit uncomfortable, want to do it on the sofa later?”

He laughed at her before stepping back to let her walk over to her father’s side.

“I’ve got a feeling I’m going to regret this,” George muttered looking around the room over to where Harry and Joe, of ‘Papa Joe’s’ fame was standing.

“Nah old man, you’re barely going to remember it,” Ella promised leading them out to the waiting limousine.  She paused to kiss Roman on the way out and smirked as she saw the red lipstick stain she’d left on his lips. “Don’t wait up sweetness, it’s going to be a late night,” she added before slapping him on his behind. 

The look on his face was priceless and she couldn’t help the grin on hers. 

[TelephotoMarigold]

 

Chapter 57

 

 

Ella looked amazing Roman thought again. She was wearing a tuxedo and standing next to her father at the top of the altar. She murmured something to him and then patted her pocket reassuringly.   He knew that accepting to be her father’s best man had been scary for her being the focus of so much attention in light of her recent depression but hopefully his encouragement had supported her. It was hard to judge these days one minute he felt like they were back to a kind of normal and the next she’d stare off in the distance and when he asked what was wrong she’d blink at him and say nothing. 

Like he didn’t know something was on her mind, like he didn’t know that she was worrying about something and trying to hide it from him.  Mostly things were fine but every so often she acted guilty about something and he hated that.  Whenever he asked what was wrong or what she was thinking about she’d tell him nothing and he’d pretend to believe her because that was what she wanted.  

Other than that they were happy overall.  He was back working, the kids were in school and crèche giving Ella more free time so that she could go back to her photography. He’d even made sure that she wasn’t tied to their home all the time organising shifts so that she could disappear on overnight trips and it was good to see her confidence start to come back.

Sam grizzled on his lap and he hugged the little boy closer to him.

“Mama be done soon then she’ll come and see you,” he murmured softly to his son.

“She looks nervous,” Mike commented.

“I think she’ll be fine once the ceremony starts,” Roman said quietly. “Pretty sure Irene was looking for a window to climb out of earlier,” he added and grinned at Mike’s expression.

“Thank isn’t funny Dad,” he groaned. “You should have seen Mum’s face when she was marrying you…”

“Not going to wind me up. Your Mum has married me twice now,” Roman grinned.

“And how many times has she mentioned divorce?”

Roman glared at Mike for a fraction of a second before smiling as the music started and Irene began to walk up the aisle towards them.

“Red?” he heard Nic comment.

“She looks wow,” Mike muttered in a whisper and grinned as Nic nodded at his comment.

“She does,” Roman said quietly watching Irene walk up the aisle in a red lace dress that skimmed her frame. Her hair was styled in a side parting with smooth waves and a large red flower pinned in it.  She was carrying a bouquet of wild flowers that matched the ornate displays at the side of the church and he knew that each flower chosen to be in the display represented the many flower bouquets that George had sent Irene over the course of their relationship and acknowledged the romanticism of it.  George had stated that each flower was like a word but put together they became poetry and he had to admit he kind of liked that idea, the non-romantic idiot that he was. 

Irene reached the top of the aisle and turned to George her face lighting up when she saw him let alone the expression on his father-in-law’s face.  The two of them beginning to recite their vows, traditional ones first and then special ones they’d both written for each other. She’d chosen to walk alone up the aisle because her children couldn’t make it to the wedding and Geoff was the one performing the ceremony.  He watched as Ella handed over the rings seeing her hands shaking and sighed softly.

“Guess El is nervous,” Nic said from behind him.

“She hates being centre of attention,” Roman murmured quietly.

“You may now kiss the bride,” Geoff called out.

They applauded as George and Irene kissed before turning and walking back down the aisle together.

“Great now we get to go eat cake,” Belle said softly as they followed them out of the church and to the reception venue back at the house.

Roman chuckled before leading the children out and to the car. He seated them inside including a grizzling Sam before waiting for El. She came out at last with Geoff having helped lock up the church.

“Hey,” she called moving over to him.

“Hey yourself,” he said back. “Did okay,” he added.

“My hands were shaking so much when I handed over the rings thought I was going to drop them,” she shook her head.

Roman put his arm around her and pulled her close for a kiss. She looked up at him and smiled. 

“Let’s go party,” he murmured.

She nodded as she climbed into the back of the car, leaving the passenger seat for Geoff and giving her the chance to be with the kids.

 

 

The reception passed without a hitch and although nervous Ella delivered a wonderful best man speech.  They’d found a moment to get Irene and George on their own and presented them with their wedding present, a trip that included stays with Finlay, Damian and Selina amongst her other children.  Irene had claimed that it was too much but Ella had just smiled at her and pointed out the tickets were non-refundable.  From there the happy couple went off to spend the first night in the hotel before jetting off leaving him and El cleaning up the mess of the reception. 

“It’s been a good day,” he murmured before grinning as she kicked off her shoes and sank down on a chair.

“It’s been a long day. Tell me again why I buy high heels?”

“Because you like to tease me?”

He moved a chair opposite her and gestured for her to lift up her legs and put her feet on his lap.  Taking one of her feet into his hands he massaged her foot smirking at her sighs of relief.

“Maybe I do,” she whispered leaning forward to press a kiss to his lips.

“You want a baby don’t you El?”

“Calling me El again?” She deflected.

“Answer the question,” he murmured swapping to the other foot.

“I do, I know it’s not logical. For so many reasons but I look at Sam and he isn’t a baby anymore he’s a little boy. I just think that a baby born now would be free of any drama.  You don’t?”

“El you are only just better. If the same thing happened as when you were pregnant with Sam we could lose you, lose you both.  I can’t, don’t want to risk it.”

“I’ve seen a…” she bit her lip.

“Go on,” he encouraged still massaging her feet.

“A doctor, a specialist. There is no reason that…” she bit her bottom lip again.

He sighed and eased back in the chair looking at her. “Then we need to find a compromise El because I can see us arguing about this.”

“Is there a compromise?”

“I don’t know but I can’t lose you again, I can’t risk your health.”

“He said that…”

“Not just physically.” He put in and saw her flinch. “El please, if this is that difficult to talk about how will we get past it? Aren’t we at the stage where we are telling each other everything?”

He maintained eye contact with her despite her flinching away from him a second time before she looked back at him.

“I…” she began.

“Can you think about it from my point of view?  Suppose there was a risk to me, that I could die at any time in the next nine months,” he murmured.

“Roman that’s…” she stopped as she gasped and clutched at her middle.

“It sucks doesn’t it El?” he said after a time. “That’s what I feel every time I see you looking at a pram or seeing a baby and because I want to make you happy I want to give you a baby. It scares me.”

“So what is our compromise?”

“Six months,” he murmured.

“Six months? Is that so you can talk me out of it?”

“No,” he felt a flare of anger at her accusation and leaned back giving her a look before speaking again. “I want us to be us. To enjoy what we have and if you still want a baby in six months and the doctor says okay…”

“Really?”

“El, stop.”

“What?”

“We need to check everything is okay,” he said slowly. “And there is no guarantee that you can get pregnant. You need to calm down.”

“No guarantee?” she blew threw her lips and gave him a look. “You’ve managed to knock me up how many times now?”

“And I’m sure I enjoyed every single time but slow down on this. Enjoy what we have now before you have us…”

“You put Sam’s cot in the attic,” she announced leaning forward and looking at him.

“I did,” he said quietly their son having swapped to a big boys bed to match his brother just like he wanted.

“So you…”

“I knew you wanted a baby,” he said slowly. “And I didn’t want you to think I wouldn’t listen to you.”

“The way I’m not listening to you right now?”

“Something like that. You’ve just got back your photography and we’re only just home.”

“And I’m only just better?”

“Lots of reasons not to add to the family,” he shrugged.

“But the reason you’ll add to it is because I want a baby?” She swung her feet to the floor and moved to sit on his lap wrapping her arms around his neck.  “You’ve been amazing the past few weeks. Holding me together I’ve been panicking about the wedding.”

“I am amazing,” he said with a smug smile when she blushed.

“Roman Harris,” she grouched before kissing him.

They pulled apart after a time when Mike padded barefoot into the kitchen just wearing his pyjama bottoms. He went over to the fridge and opened it up, their teenage son obviously needed a midnight snack.

“S’up?” he called on seeing them there.

“Hungry?” Ella said easing off his lap and standing up. She collected her shoes and walked into the house to stand near Mike.

“A little, is there any of that…”

Roman growled under his breath and moved inside next to the fridge and where Mike was peering inside. “Since you’ve come down in search of food your mother will want me to do cheese on toast,” he told him.

“Ouh could you?” Ella shot out.

“See,” Roman muttered.

“Cheese on toast would be good,” Mike said in a cajoling voice.

Roman sighed before moving around the kitchen and preparing them a plate of food each.  He added leftover bits from the buffet they’d had earlier and poured out drinks for them, a whisky for him, a beer for Mike, and a long tall glass of vodka and coke for Ella.

“Beer?” Ella questioned seeing the bottle. She’d been upstairs to get changed and was wearing a long nightdress with a dressing gown over the top.

“He’s old enough isn’t he?”

“Yeah but it’s late…” she began, “fine he can have a beer and I’ll stop babying him.”

Roman smiled at her before he handed her the plate of food and her drink.

“Thanks,” Mike said grabbing his.

Roman followed them into the other room and sank on to the sofa next to Ella, with his whisky in his hand. He took a long drink letting the flavour roll over his tongue.  

“I heard Nic try and talk Geoff into getting married again,” Mike murmured.

Roman chuckled.

“She was bad enough the first time round.”

Ella grinned at him, “Maybe she’ll take up cleaning again.”

He laughed at Ella’s comment before explaining to Mike about Nic’s stress reaction and her sudden addiction to cleaning.

“But you aren’t to wind her up about it,” Ella put in quickly.

“That so isn’t fair,” Mike pouted.

“It’s getting late,” Roman said quietly, “Definitely time for bed.”

Ella smirked at Mike’s pout before she nodded and handed Roman her empty plate and glass.  “Thanks,” she murmured standing up and walking out of the room. 

Mike gave her a look before he too put his plate down and followed suit.

“So going to get you for this,” Roman grumbled.

He cleared up after them before turning out all the lights and heading up to bed. Ella was curled up under the covers more than half asleep. She yawned as she saw him and gave him a rueful smile.

“I was trying to stay awake for you,” she whispered.

Leaning down he kissed the end of her nose before slipping into the en suite and taking a shower before climbing into bed next to her. She was fast asleep by this time and he sighed as she curled up in his arms. 

[TelephotoMarigold]

 

 

Chapter 58

 

 

 

It was a month after her father’s and Irene’s wedding. Ella looked at the pill packet in her hand before meeting her reflection in the mirror.  She’d promised Roman six months before having the discussion about babies again but here she was contemplating deceiving him. She could take today’s pill and then … pausing she put them back in her washbag and turning she climbed into the shower.

 

“Room in there for me,” Roman murmured coming into the bathroom.

 

“What?” she gasped out spinning around and looking at him.

 

He stripped off his running clothes depositing them into the wash basket before getting into the shower behind her.

 

“Roman…” she protested.

 

He leaned down and kissed her before stroking his hands down her body.

 

“I thought running was a good exercise but suddenly I’ve just thought of another one,” he murmured as he caressed her.

 

“I…” her eyes strayed to her washbag sitting innocently on the top and she sighed before letting him lift her up and joining their bodies. Maybe it was fate after all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two months after the wedding.  Irene had returned to work and her father had to go overseas.   Ella had gone to see her on her first day back in the diner and froze when she smelt the fried food in the kitchen and her stomach rolled.  Taking some deep breaths she slipped into the bathroom discretely.  Pulling out the pregnancy test from her handbag, the one she’d been too nervous to take at home she slipped into the stall and followed the instructions on the packet.

 

Ella looked at the single pink line on the test and sighed. Not pregnant she thought with another sigh. How could she not be pregnant, she practically attacked Roman every night she thought with a groan.  Wrapping the used kit in the bag the pharmacy had put it in she moved out of the stall and deposited the rubbish in the bin. Pinning a smile on her face as she washed her hands she moved out of the bathroom and over to where Irene was, greeting her stepmother and asking a dozen questions about the honeymoon.

 

Roman joined them after a time when his shift was finished and they shared a coffee together before she and her husband had to go pick up the kids.  She found herself getting teary when she collected Sam and caught Roman giving her a look.  The guilt over keeping Nate a secret and then on top of that coming off the pill and deceiving Roman in her quest to get pregnant made her feel awful.

 

“Just hormonal,” she whispered to him as they put the kids in the car.

 

“Good job I have chocolate at home,” he said quietly before pulling her into his arms for a hug.  She resisted for a moment feeling the weight of guilt on her shoulders before surrendering and letting him hold her. “Is everything okay?”

 

“Yes,” she murmured quietly, “Just needing this,” she added snuggling into him.

 

“Okay,” he murmured back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She measured time by how long it was taking her to get pregnant. When it reached three months she booked herself into the hospital for a check-up arranging not to see either Aden or Rachel, instead choosing a new doctor.  Sitting in the waiting room she hoped that she wouldn’t bump into anyone she knew and of course she did.  Standing across from her was Martha.  The absolute one person she never wanted to see again.  Stifling a groan she picked up a magazine and pretended to read in an effort to discourage the other woman, watching her with half an eye.  She seemed to be there to pick up something, placing a bag into her handbag.  Just as she seemed to head in her direction Ella heard her name called and she sprinted up and into the examination room.

 

From there the appointment was routine, asking about her menstrual cycle and various dates.  The exam took minutes and then came the news that she was pregnant.

 

“You’re sure?”

 

“I can confirm that you are roughly 6 - 8 weeks along Mrs Harris,” the doctor confirmed.

 

“Can we… “

 

“Would you like me to do a scan?”

 

“Please,” Ella murmured tremulously.

 

“Wait here I’ll go arrange for the ultra sound.”

 

She waited in the room perched on the examination bed feeling all kinds of different emotions.  She wanted to call Roman and tell him immediately and then thought about explaining how she managed to get pregnant, aside from the obvious bit of course she thought with a blush staining her cheeks.

 

“Okay Mrs Harris,” the doctor wheeled the ultra sound into the room and Ella was so focused on that she didn’t notice that Martha was still in the waiting room her attention seemed to be focused on what was happening in this room.

 

As the wand was pressed on her stomach and she heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time she felt guiltier for not having Roman by her side.  He should have been there, been included.  Feeling tears slip down her face she allowed the doctor to think they were tears of happiness rather than admit she was feeling miserable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Martha moved over to the door and knocked briefly before stepping back and waiting until Roman opened the door after a few minutes and looked at her.

 

“Hello Roman, I was hoping to see Ella is she in?”

 

“She’s out and I don’t think she wants to see you Martha. What do you want?”

 

He folded his arms across his chest as he looked at her and she remembered the gesture.

 

“I’m sure, I was pretty horrible to her but now, well I’ve had treatment and I’m well on the way to recovery, I wanted to apologise to her.”

 

Roman half nodded and she lowered her head so he wouldn’t see the look in her eyes.

 

“Well maybe you could arrange to meet her in town,” he suggested.

 

“I kinda didn’t want to make such a big deal out of this but yeah I can see your point,” she stepped back and almost tripped on the step.

 

“Steady,” Roman reached out and stopped her.

 

“I’m fine,” she said immediately recoiling from him.

 

“Look, she won’t be long. Come in and wait for her,” he said finally.

 

She closed her eyes so that he wouldn’t see the triumphant look in them and followed him inside the house. He moved into the kitchen returning a moment later and presented her with a cup of coffee whilst he drank his own. 

 

“Nice house, very homely,” she said stiltedly.

 

“Ella decorated it,” he murmured glancing around. 

 

She nodded and looked at her watch discretely before taking a long drink from her cup. He matched her, a frown on his face before he drained the drink.

 

“Could I use your bathroom?” She asked after a while.  Roman nodded and stood up moving up the stairs ahead of her as he showed her the way to the bathroom.  She watched him carefully, reaching out to support him as he swayed.  “Bedroom through there?”

 

He nodded again, “Can’t think…” he mumbled his eyes closing.

 

She guided him into the bedroom and over to the bed moments before he sank into unconsciousness. The sleeping pills she’d slipped into his coffee working fast. From there it was simple to undress him and manoeuvre him in the bed.  Stripping off her clothes she climbed in beside him and waited.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ella pulled into the driveway and frowned at the strange car parked up behind Roman’s.  Moving into the house she spotted two used cups on the coffee table before hearing something from upstairs. Tiptoeing up the stairs she glanced around looking for something that would make sense other than what she thinking, what she was dreading.

 

Pushing out the bedroom door she gasped.  Martha was in bed with Roman.  She was writhing on top of her husband, his hands on the other woman.  Feeling her stomach revolting she tried not to throw up.

 

“What the hell? Bitch get out of my house.”

 

Martha gave a shocked sounding gasp and tried to cover herself. “Sorry it just happened,” she murmured climbing out of the bed and pulling on her clothes.

 

Feeling sick she went over to the bed, slapping Roman around the face.

 

“Damn you, damn you!” she screamed as he blinked up at her.

 

“Wha…. What?”

 

“How could you sleep with Martha? How could you? Get out! Get the hell out of my house!” she screamed.

 

He peered at her before looking over and seeing Martha pulling on her clothes.

 

“El I didn’t,” he gasped out.

 

“I saw you both! Get out Roman. Get out now.”

 

Ella spun around and ran down the stairs into the lounge. She grabbed the two cups and threw them with force into the bin before turning and seeing a smug looking Martha leaving the house and a pale looking Roman standing behind her.

 

“El, I don’t…”

 

“Save it, just pack a bag and get out I can’t even look at you right now!”

 

He moved away from her reluctantly returning moments later with a bag and standing by the open door.

 

“I don’t know what happened,” he said slowly.

 

“How long has it been going one Roman? How long have you been cheating to me?”

 

“I haven’t…”

 

“So this is the first time? Maybe you should have planned it better. Didn’t expect me home did you?”

 

Ella moved over to him and pushed him through the open door before stepping back inside.

 

“El please,” he said again.

 

“Go. I want a divorce. We’re over.”

 

She shut the door on him and ignored his pleas eventually he moved away and she heard the car starting up. Only then did she remember about the pregnancy and collapsed sobbing on the floor.  Roman had been her hero rescuing her from her fears and he’d broken her, broken them.

 

 

 

 

The End. 

 

 

 

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