The Ties That Bind

[mizziette]

SIXTY

Brax sat in the car at the hospital car park with his father in the passenger seat. The two hour drive from the city had been silent and painful. Sean’s attempt to try at conversation were thwarted by his son and with a sigh, Brax got out of the car and went to open the other door.

It took a while to get the portable oxygen machine fixed and Sean had to be put in a wheelchair since he was too weak to walk but they managed. As he wheeled his father through the halls of the hospital, Brax guiltily felt relieved that the man who had hurt his family was suffering at long last.

‘Wait here.’ Brax left Sean outside Danielle’s room for a second to check on her himself first and came across an interesting surprise. ‘Heath?’

Heath turned from his sister’s bedside with is hand holding her tiny palm. She had been deteriorating fast and hadn’t even woken up to meet him yet. ‘Hey bro. How’s it going?’

‘Oh god, Heath?’ A voice gasped from behind Brax. Sean had refused to stay outside and entered the room anyway. ‘It really is you?’

‘Yeah, it’s me.’ Heath frowned and whispered so as not to wake Danni. He had been too young to remember and didn’t recognise the man. ‘Who are you?’

Brax gulped. ‘Mate, this is…’

‘Sean?’ Another voice came up behind them as Tracey entered the room in shock. The coffee cup she’d been holding dropped to the floor creating a huge mess. ‘What the hell are you doing here?’

Before Sean could answer, Heath realised what was going on or more importantly who the man in the wheelchair was. In shock, his hand fell out of Danielle’s and he stood up abruptly. ‘You’re my dad?’

Reluctantly, Sean nodded. That was all the proof Heath needed to get the hell out of there.

Overwhelmed by everything, Heath walked through the hallway until he reached Casey’s room. Tracey had filled him in on the events and the poor teenage boy had just gotten out of the procedure room. ‘Hey mate, how’re you feeling?’

Casey looked from his hospital bed and smiled weakly. ‘Heath, you’re back.’

‘Yeah, I’m back.’ Heath put his hand on his brother’s shoulder. ‘So you have a whole in your back or what? I hear the needle’s pretty big.’

‘Oh, you really are back.’ Casey mock-complained, dreading the thought of having to listen to Heath’s lame jokes. Trying to sit up, he moaned in pain. ‘Good to see you bro.’

‘Let’s not get all sentimental.’ Heath helped him sit up and put his feet over the side of the bed. He was still in patient scrubs. ‘Come on mate, take it easy.’

---

‘Trace, baby.’

‘Don’t baby me.’ Tracey felt the tears sting her eyes. She wished her daughter had given her some warning to prepare for her ex-husband’s return. ‘I can’t believe you’re here.’

‘Mummy?’ Danielle woke up and whispered drowsily while her mother rushed to her bedside.

Tracey stroked her hair. ‘It’s okay sweetie. Mummy’s here.’

‘So is your father.’ Sean wheezed with his nasally voice. ‘If you’ll have him.’

Danielle weakly looked down at the man in the wheelchair who was hooked up to the oxygen on his lap. He was nothing like she’d imagined. Nervously, she looked across at Brax who nodded encouragingly at his sister despite his personal feelings towards the man.

‘Hi… dad.’ Danielle panted and with his head low, Brax made himself scarce and went to look for Heath. His insides were nauseous and he didn’t want to spend any more time with the man than necessary.

He walked through the hallway and found Heath in an empty room helping a gowned Casey out of bed. ‘God, Casey, what happened to you?’

Casey looked up at his oldest brother, his face full of pain. ‘Hey Brax. I tried to call but… Danni needed a bone marrow transplant so I had to tell mum and…’

The boy was too weak to talk. It hurt him too much. While he leant against Heath, Brax closed the door and got the pair of jeans from the chair and handed it to Casey who tried his best to put it on. ‘You alright mate?’

Casey nodded, and zipped his jeans up under his hospital gown. ‘Is Tracey with Danni?’

Brax and Heath looked at each other. They both knew that Danielle was with their father, Casey’s father. Heath finally replied. ‘Yeah mate. Tracey’s with her.’

Casey noticed the look his brother’s gave each other. ‘What is it?’

Brax took a deep breath and helped his little brother into the wheelchair provided for him before sitting down in front of him on the arm chair. He hated having to do this to him so soon after surgery but it had to be done.

‘Case, there’s something you need to know. Something important.’ He began.

[mizziette]

SIXTY ONE

‘Boys, I’m so glad you’re all here with me.’ Sean smiled as he sat in chair in the hallway with his sons standing by.

‘We’re not here for you. We’re here for Danielle.’ Heath spoke, unable to look him in the eye.

Brax agreed. The boys had spoken extensively in Casey’s room before discharging him and reached a conclusion regarding their father. ‘And you’re going back where you came from when this is over.’

Casey gulped and couldn’t help but stare at the weak man that was supposed to be his father. Too much was happening in one day for him to handle.

‘Come on,’ Sean tried to smile. ‘Please, just give me a chance. I know I upset you and your mum…’

‘You didn’t just upset her dad.’ Brax lost his cool. ‘You hurt her. Not just emotionally but physically. I can’t forgive that.’

‘And I regret that but I never laid a hand on you boys. I’ve changed.’ Sean pleaded and went into a minor coughing fit.

When the coughing ended, Casey moved abruptly. ‘I can’t handle this.’

‘Neither can I.’ Heath concluded when his little brother had walked into Danielle’s room.

‘Dad, I don’t know whether you’ve changed or not, but even if you have, we’re not ready for this.’ Brax spoke calmly. ‘I’m not ready to talk to you. I’m sorry.’

‘I’m not.’ Heath mumbled. If the old man hadn’t already been sickly and dying, he would readily have used his fists and given him a lesson in Brax’ so-called character building. ‘I’m going inside.’

An hour later, Sean sat in his wheelchair taking his wheezy breaths as he held his daughter’s hand while she slept. There were many things he regretted in his life but disappointing his children was right up there. He hated that he’d missed out on so much, especially with Danielle, who might not have much time left at the rate she was deteriorating.

Rachel came into the room. ‘Hello, how are we all holding up?’

Brax and Tracey stood up while Casey remained seated, his back still in pain from the donation. Heath spoke first sitting next to his little brother on the couch. ‘Did it work?’

‘I’m sorry. The bone marrow transplant worked to some extent but at best it only gave Danielle a few more hours.’ Rachel shook her head reluctantly. This was the worst part of her job.

‘Hours?’ Brax gulped. ‘There’s something you can do right?’

‘I’m sorry.’ Rachel shook her head sensitively. ‘We’ve done the best we can but she is deteriorating more than we anticipated. The last test showed that her kidneys have all but shut down and her other organs are following suit. Mrs Hay, I’m sorry to say this but your daughter’s body is unable to support her anymore. There’s nothing more we can do.’

Tracey felt like the world had fallen apart at the seams. Her legs buckled and Brax held onto her arm to keep her upright and sat the shocked woman down. ‘But… She’s… Dr Armstrong, she’s my baby… you have to do something. Right? Brax, tell her. Tell her she has to do something.’

The woman looked at Brax desperately but the man didn’t know what to say. The whole room was silent; no one knew what to say. They were all in shock. In the silence, a melodic voice whispered out.

‘Why the long faces?’ Danielle smiled weakly with tears in her eyes and everyone jumped to look at her. ‘Mum, it’s okay. It is. My time’s up. I’m okay with that, really.’

Danielle looked at the newcomer next to a pasty Casey and beckoned weakly for him to join her. Hesitantly, Heath stood and held her hand. ‘Hi, I’m Danielle.’

‘Hi, I’m Heath.’ Heath smiled down as he spoke to his sister for the first time. He watched as Danielle drifted off to sleep with a huge smile on her face.

‘I’m glad you came back.’ She whispered with her eyes closed. ‘I love you, all of you.’

Rachel left them to it and Heath held her sister’s hand all night while she slept peacefully. Everyone was silent. Casey and Brax took the couch, Tracey the arm chair and Sean lay in a spare bed in another room due to his poor health but the entire family was there to support their relative.

No one slept that night except for Danielle. She drifted in and out of sleep out of exhaustion every couple hours and the silence in the room was peaceful; there wasn’t a sound except for the beeping of the heart monitor, reminding them

constantly of their surroundings.

That night, at precisely five eleven am, Danielle Elizabeth Hay passed away in her sleep, her delicate little palm sliding out from Heath’s strong one as her body went limp. The youthful life that had brought so much vibrant love into so many lives had exhausted itself. Just like that, she was gone.

[mizziette]

SIXTY TWO | 5 weeks later

Casey walked through the lawn with his head down and hands in his jeans pockets. His schoolbag slung over his back and his school uniform was unironed and scruffy. He should’ve been in school for a history test but this wasn’t the first time he’d skipped school. He could count the number of day he’d been to school in the last five weeks with two hands. And at the rate he was going, the number wouldn’t get any higher anytime soon.

Walking past the various headstones, Casey finally reached the one he had spent all his school hours sitting in front of for the last few weeks. The gravestone was small and engraved simply. ‘Danielle Elizabeth Hay [1994-2010], beloved daughter, sister and friend.’

Being in the graveyard made him feel closer to her and made everything less real. School and surfing had once been the most prominent things in Casey’s life and they didn’t seem important anymore. Ever since the funeral, he hadn’t even been to the beach, let alone surf. All his time was spent drawing in his notebook in the graveyard with Danielle watching over him.

The grieving brother still couldn’t believe she was gone. She had been not only his amazing sister but his only real friend and now he had no one. Slinging his bag on the ground, Casey sat on the wet grass and leaned back against the tree in front of the most frequently visited grave in the graveyard.

Back at home, Casey’s family had no idea he was skipping school. They were more preoccupied with their own grief. Brax walked into the lounge room to find an absolute mess. There were beer bottles strewn everywhere and half eaten chips packets on the coffee table and floor. Sighing, Brax cleaned up around his mum who was passed out on the couch. Ever since she’d been told about her ex-husband’s return, Cheryl had fallen hard and deteriorated into the emotional wreck she’d been sixteen years ago when Sean had walked out on her.

Brax knew how hard it was for her and the boys tried not to mention Danielle around her for sensitivity’s sake, even though they had to deal with their grief. Their mother’s grief over her loneliness and pain came first. In fact, for the Braxton brothers, their mother came first, period; no matter what it was.

Kissing Cheryl on the forehead and tucking her in, Brax put the empty bottles out for recycling and went to the beach with his surfboard. He’d always revelled in the surf but nowadays, his visits became more frequent. Surfing cleared his mind and helped sort his thoughts. The dishevelled state of his mind was definitely in need of some oceanic therapy.

Walking down Wilson’s beach, the older brother sighed as he saw a passed out man in front of him with five or six bottles strewn by him on the sand. Shaking his head, he kicked his brother awake. ‘Oi, Heath, get up.’

‘What?’ Heath scrunched up his face against the glaring sun and rubbed his eyes. ‘Bro, I was sleeping.’

‘On the beach? Again?’ Brax scolded him as he stood over the man with his surfboard at his side. ‘Let me guess, you and the boys had another party?’

‘It was a full blown rager.’ Heath grinned and began picking up the beer bottles he’d consumed the night before. His party hard ethics had increased during the past few weeks. ‘You should’ve been there mate. The coppers got called and everything.’

Brax ignored the words. They were meaningless. He instead watched as Heath began to stroll away hung over. ‘Where are you going?’

‘The boys are having after-party shots at Sam’s place. There’ll be uni girls there. Are you coming?’ Heath continued to walk away as he raised his voice to be heard across the distance.

‘I’m good.’ Brax called out and shook his head. It was ten in the morning; way too early for happy hour, although for Heath Braxton these days; every day was a party and every night a night at the playboy mansion. A different drink, a different venue, and a different girl every night but all his days still managed to mirror each other; same hangover, same denial, and the same partying.

Brax headed out into the water. He would’ve surfed all day if he could but there were things he needed to take care of. Things like his business. After selling his share of the club, only one thing consumed his days; the crop.

After his surf, Brax headed to the national park to put in a hard day’s work. Danielle was dead, there was nothing he could do about that and Sean, well, he was long gone. Straight after the funeral, his father had been given marching orders back to the nursing home he came from despite the old man’s protests. There was no place for him in the brothers’ lives; at least not at the moment.

‘Brax, you need to take a break mate.’ Brody walked up with the gardening shears as Brax worked and supervised the harvesting. ‘You’ve been working yourself to death. You need to take a breather.’

‘You’re telling me what I need to do?’ Brax angrily squared off with his friend and pointed at his face irritably, sending Brody backwards in fear. ‘I’ll stop when I damn well want, do you hear me?’

‘Ye…Yea…Sorry mate.’ Brody stuttered before leaving; the boss had been losing his cool very frequently the past few weeks ever since his sister had died. He had changed; all the boys noticed this but none were brave enough to face his wrath. The man who’d once been the buffer was now volatile and more hard core than usual. Turning off his emotions was his way of dealing. No one in their right mind would mess with this Darryl Braxton.

The boys were too scared to get on Brax’ wrong side and worked vigorously throughout the day. Business had been booming the last few weeks due to their ring leader’s increased involvement and everyone wanted to earn their keep. Except for Brax.

For Brax, encasing himself into the world he’d created was an escape. He hadn’t saved Danielle and he hadn’t been able to give her what she wanted. She asked for a father and he’d given her a mess, she asked for life and she’d only lost the battle. On top of all that, the reunion with his father had opened old wounds, wounds that hurt like hell. With the river boys and with his business, he could regain some resemblance of control again.

After a long day at the crop, Brax drove to the one place where he could let go of the cold exterior. Stepping into Teagan’s house, he held the blonde girl close and snuggled into her neck. She could never make it go away, but she knew how to make him forget. She always knew to make him forget.

While his days were spent in forcible control, his nights were spent with Teagan. Teagan took care of him and gave him the love he needed. Brax didn’t love her back but it felt good not being responsible for everyone all the time like he usually was. With Teagan, there were no responsibilities, no worries and no dead sister. There was only the comforting feeling that even for a couple of hours; Brax wasn’t all alone in the world.

‘It’s okay babe.’ Teagan cradled Brax in his arms like a child. She knew he was just using her but it didn’t matter. This was what he needed right now. Leaning away and holding each other’s face, both desperately yearning for someone to fill the void in their hearts.

[mizziette]

SIXTY THREE

Casey got home from spending his school hours by Danielle’s grave to find Brax waiting for him on the couch, ready to interrogate him. ‘Where were you?’

‘School.’ Casey grumbled and slung his schoolbag onto the floor with a thud before moving into the kitchen.

‘Oi, I’m talking to you. Sit down.’ Brax gestured to the spot next to him and smirked. ‘You were at school, eh?’

‘Yeah, that’s what I said.’

‘Yeah, it’s what you said but it’s not what you did is it?’ Brax raised his eyebrows and his little brother just looked at him as he slumped on the couch. ‘Your principal called me today. She asked why you weren’t at school.’

Casey shrugged. ‘So I didn’t feel like going today.’

‘So those other eighteen days you’ve missed in the last two months, what was that?’ Brax leaned his elbows on his knees and looked back at his brother, his voice calm and level. ‘You didn’t feel like going those days either, is that it?’

Casey shrugged again and Brax sighed. ‘Where were you today?’ The boy shrugged again. ‘Mate, I’m not going to know what you’re thinking if you don’t talk to me.’

Casey just looked at his hands. ‘Are you done?’

Brax was concerned for his brother. ‘Look, I know you miss her but you’re still here and you can’t throw it all away. You’ve worked so hard for this, you can’t just quit now, right? Right?’

‘Right.’ Casey grunted sarcastically.

‘I’m serious. This is your future. You want more, you need to start going to school.’

‘Maybe I’m happy enough where I am.’

‘You don’t really expect me to believe that?’ Casey shrugged again; man, that was getting annoying but Brax let it go. The kid had been through a lot the last few weeks. ‘Your principal says you’re suspended for two weeks for skipping school.’

Casey laughed. ‘That’s some punishment. You skip school cause you don’t want to go and the teachers just order you not to.’

‘It may be stupid, but it’s what it is.’ Brax shrugged. ‘And if you think I believe you don’t want to go to school, you’re kidding yourself mate. You want to, I know you do.’

‘Yeah, whatever you say boss.’ Casey got up and started to walk past his brother.

Brax stopped him in his tracks with his words. ‘Hey listen; if you need to talk, I’m here, right mate? About Danielle or dad, whatever.’

Casey turned around. ‘Thanks, but I’m good.’

‘You have a lot on your plate, I get that.’ Brax paused before saying what he’d wanted to say for a while. ‘Case, I know we agreed to send dad packing but if you change your mind… I know he’s not much but he’s your dad and if you feel like you missed out... You have to be a little curious.’

Casey shook his head. ‘Nah, I never really needed a dad. I had you. You pretty much raise me anyway so how could I miss out right? I’m good.’

Brax smiled at the gesture of brotherhood. ‘Right, well, go study or something. You’ll need to catch up on all the days you’re going to miss.’

‘Aw, come on dad, give the kid a break!’ Heath walked into the house with a barely legal blonde and joked loudly while Casey lagged to his bedroom.

Brax rolled his eyes and lifted his legs onto the coffee table as he turned the TV on. Rolling his eyes at the ignorance, Heath took his friend to the bedroom and closed the door.

‘Come here, you.’ He took the petite girl in his arms passionately and pushed her onto the bed, bringing him down with him mid-kiss. Kissing the girl he’d met that morning at the beach, Heath grinned between kisses as he mentally undressed the woman under him and then began physically doing it.

As they made out on the bed, Heath didn’t for once think about his problems. In fact, he continuously made sure he was high on alcohol, pot or sex to avoid the thoughts specifically. It was a coping mechanism and everyone knew it, but Heath didn’t care. If he let himself think about it, it would be too much to handle. Too much to cope with.

If Heath Braxton allowed himself to grieve, he was scared of the feelings it would resurrect. The feelings of guilt and what ifs would cloud his mind day in and day out. There would be just too many feelings. Selfishness for travelling around the world while his sister was sick, guilt for not going to her sooner, self-hatred for being too self-conscious to meet her, on top of 27 years of father issues.

True to character, Heath’s way of dealing was, essentially, not to deal. The past was in the past; the present was far less complex. For now, the only complication he could handle was the complexity of the bra fastener on the girl under him.

[mizziette]

SIXTY FOUR

Brax stood in the field with his boys and observed the territory. The races were always a great place for business. Plenty of rich people who wanted to spend their money. There were always excessive amounts of drinking at these things and with the booze came the partying and with the partying came the drugs. And that was where the river boys came in.

The boys looked very out of place in the crowd where everyone was formally dressed up and they were sporting their board shorts. But then again, the boys had never been the ones to blend into the crowd. Brax surveyed their potential clients. ‘Right-o boys, let’s do some business. And have fun.’

As he took a glass of champagne and walked off into the crowd, Brax knew he wouldn’t be having fun anytime soon. He hadn’t smiled in weeks and he wouldn’t be starting now. With a sigh, he moved towards the track to see what all the fuss was about with these races. He was more of a behind the scenes man and never did any of the deals himself.

‘Who’re you betting on?’ A short man leaned on the edge beside Brax who clenched his teeth at the interruption. These days his tolerance was low and his fuse was short; anything set him off.

‘I’m not betting.’ Brax spit out between his clenched teeth but the man didn’t seem to notice.

‘Shame, you should go for number seven. I hear he’s a real winner.’ He reached his hand out to him. ‘I’m Paulie. Paulie Rosetta.’

‘Rosetta.’ Brax scoffed when he recognised the name and shake the hand held out to him. ‘That’d be right.’

‘Why, do you know my brother Angelo?’ Paulie still didn’t pick up on the hostility and smiled.

‘What’s it to you?’ Brax turned to face the little man and glared intimidatingly at him. ‘Why don’t you just take that cheap little suit and get out of my face, eh.’

Paulie shrugged and frowned as he walked off wondering what he’d said to set the guy off. The truth was he’d done nothing to set Brax off; it was just how he was. He was a changed man. Brax downed what was left in his champagne glass and headed to find some more.

Elsewhere at the races, Brody and Heath were having a ball with the hot chicks there. And there were plenty. Dressed in strapless black feathered dress, one girl had found taken a liking to Brody.

‘You’re so hot.’ The girl was beyond wasted on champagne and the boys hadn’t even sold her anything yet. She whispered into a very uncomfortable Brody’s ear and stroked her finger down his chest. ‘You’re super-duper extra hot, you know that.’

Brody looked so uncomfortable that Heath couldn’t help but smirk as he stood beside them as the girl wrapped herself around the very married man. ‘Um…I…I’m not…’

‘Yeah, you are. You are. You are. You are.’ The girl was so drunk she couldn’t support her weight. ‘You really are. You better believe it baby.’

Brody Upton looked desperately at Heath for help who just shook his head and grinned. Heath took the girl by the shoulders and marched her over somewhere else. ‘You’re wasting your time princess. He’s a married prude now. If you want a real man, call me.’

When the girl had disappeared, Heath grinned at Brody. ‘Man, you are so whipped. That chick’s all over you and you just let her go for old goods.’

‘It’s called being in a relationship, Braxton. Something you’d know nothing about.’

Heath just shook his head. ‘Nah mate, it’s called boring. I don’t know why you ever got hitched, eh. One person for the rest of your life, you’re killing me. I could never do it.’

‘Well, you’re not the one doing it, eh.’ Brody frowned defensively and followed his mate into the crowd. He loved his new wife and that was all he needed.

The boys reached the bar which was situated close by to the fashion on the fields runway. ‘Two bourbons thanks waitress.’

On the other side, outside his mates’ view, Brax stood sipping his fifth drink. He had switched from champagne to bourbon ages ago and still hadn’t felt the full effects of it. If there was one thing he’d inherited from his father, it was to hold his drink. The man very rarely got hung over.

Brax’ eyes were intent on something very interesting; or rather someone. Who would’ve thought a cop could scrub up o nicely? Charlie Buckton looked a million dollars in her bright yellow dress and head piece as she stood on the runway. She shouldn’t have been a cop; she should’ve been a model. The woman sure knew how to strut her stuff.

Drowning the rest of his bourbon, Brax shook off the insane idea of thinking a cop hot and moved to go somewhere else. As he put his glass down and began walking, he noticed something odd and clenched his teeth angrily as he whispered to no one in particular. ‘Don’t do it, mate. Just don’t.’

But of course, Pee Wee was too far away to hear his boss’ warning. The idiot was too preoccupied to notice that the woman walking the Fashion on the Fields runway was a cop, nor did he notice that Brax was glaring at him with murderous eyes. Instead, Pee Wee sneakily put his sneaky hand into a woman’s person.

Brax just shook his head in fury as Sargent Buckton ran off the runway and pounced on his idiot mate, catching him red handed. Sometimes it amazed him just how stupid his boys could be sometimes.

[mizziette]

SIXTY FIVE

‘Well, if it isn’t Casey Braxton.’ A boy greeted in the hallway as Casey walked to class in the morning. ‘It’s real nice of you to show your face here again, mate.’

‘Yeah, I heard your girlfriend or whoever died or something, eh.’ The boy’s mate commented casually as the boy walked past.

‘It was his sister you idiot.’ A passing girl whispered.

‘It’s a real shame; I wouldn’t have minded a piece of that.’

This made Casey stop and he fumed. Didn’t anyone have any respect anymore? With a frown, he turned around determinedly with a murderous look. ‘What did you say?’

The students didn’t have a chance to answer because the bell rang. The crowd in the hallway dispersed into the various classrooms but by then Casey wasn’t interested. He’d promised Brax he’d raise his attendance after the suspension but he just couldn’t deal with the prying. With a dismissive shrug of his bag, he stormed out of the school to go to the one place he was at peace. Danielle’s grave.

An hour later, his older brother received a call. There was a lot of sighing and a lot of annoyance as Brax nodded and apologised to the person on the other line. Putting it down he felt resigned and wondered where to find Casey.

Walking along the beach, he found Heath making out with a random girl on the sand. Brax kicked his leg and coaxed him to sit up. ‘God bro, I’m a little busy here.’

‘Where’s Case?’ Brax didn’t have time for pleasantries.

The girl self-consciously smoothed her dress and hair down as best as she could but Heath didn’t seem to care. ‘How the hell should I know? Do I look like some kind of psychic to you?’

‘Call me if you see him.’ Brax pursed his lips and walked away without another word.

The girl got up and rubbed off the sand from her dress, embarrassed at being caught in a compromising position. Heath tried to protest but the girl walked away. He was all alone again.

Although Heath reduced it down to boredom, the loneliness overcame him and searched for some fun along the beach. He convinced himself he was just bored to death but he hated being alone. It scared him. Walking along the beach, he found nothing but the dead waveless ocean and glaring spring sun.

‘Oh!’ A frilly gasp captured Heath’s attention and he looked to his side to find a woman with her hand over her mouth in shock staring straight at him.

‘Something you want lady?’ Heath inclined his head impatiently as she continued to stare.

The woman just shook her head and put her arms down. ‘Oh, I’m sorry. You just shocked me.’

‘I can see that.’ Heath rolled his eyes and grinned cheekily. ‘I shock a lot of people lady. It’s the ridiculously good looks, I’m told.’

‘No, it’s your… aura.’ The woman was still in shock. ‘It’s…dark.’

Heath raised his eyebrows with a smirk and went on his way. ‘I don’t need an aura to tell me I’m dark, Looney Tunes.’

‘Guilt is a useless emotion, boy.’ The blonde lady stood and called out to the disappearing man. ‘It’ll eat you alive if you don’t let it go.’

Heath halted mid step and turned around slowly. There was no way some strange lady would know what he hasn’t even acknowledged to himself. ‘What did you say?’

‘You heard me.’ The woman didn’t see the threatening look on his face as he walked towards her. ‘I’m Mitzy by the way. Mitzy Fraser.’

‘You don’t know crap about me Mitzy Fraser.’ Heath pointed at her. ‘So you can pack away your little auras and crystal balls and what not, because I ain’t buying it.’

‘You’ve lost some one. You did all you could but it was her time.’ Mitzy didn’t seem fazed by the hostility; she was used to it in her profession. Sometimes people don’t know how to accept the truth. ‘You feel guilty about something concerning this person.’

And you need to check into a psyche ward. You’re talking crazy.’ Heath felt intimidated by this strange woman who was telling him what he’d been avoiding for weeks.

‘You weren’t ready to face the reality. And you don’t think you’re ready now.’ Mitzy put her hand on his arm and he pulled away. She could sense his mistrust but she knew she was right. Her psychic abilities, although at times vague, never failed. ‘Remember, there is five stages of grief not just one. Not just denial. Although you are good at it, you need to move through them.’

Mitzy’s cryptic words were too weird and surreal for Heath to handle so he walked away muttering to himself. ‘Freak’

Although he tried to put the strange encounter out of his mind, the crazy psychic had made him think about the one thing he’d been avoiding. Danielle. When Heath was out of Mitzy’s sight, he found himself near a wall and punched it as the anger flowed.

Heath had only known her for less than twenty four hours and didn’t have anything to miss really other than the opportunity to have known her. It was an opportunity he’d never get back. As he methodically beat on the brick wall, he could feel the guilt, shame and regret dredging up to the surface. His knuckle started hurting so he kicked the wall numerous times before abruptly turning confusedly and leaning against the wall with his head in his hands. Almost immediately he stood up again and leant his palm on the wall for support.

Panting out of breath as the emotional rollercoaster in his mind subsided, Heath felt empowered as all the anger had finally been released.

[mizziette]

SIXTY SIX

‘So this is where you’ve been hiding.’ Brax sat next to Casey on the grass and leant on the large oak tree. Brax had been looking for his little brother everywhere and finally found him at the graveyard near their sister’s grave.

Casey looked up from his sketchbook and then returned his eyes to his preoccupation. ‘You found me.’

‘I found you.’ For the first time in weeks, Brax approached softly and sympathetically. The usual cold exterior he’d held up had taken a back seat. ‘What’re you drawing?’ Casey put his pencil to the side and revealed a likeness of Danielle. ‘That’s looking awesome mate. You’re pretty good at this, aren’t you?’

Casey shrugged and continued what he was doing. ‘I guess.’

Brax sighed and shuddered at the small gravestone in front of them. It was weird to think that his sister’s remains lay only a few feet below the grass in front of them. ‘So this is your new version of school eh? It’s a little morbid here, don’t you reckon?’

‘I like it fine.’ Casey still didn’t look at him.

‘Yeah, it’s as peaceful as it is morbid I guess.’ Brax shrugged speaking casually. The last thing his brother needed was to be scolded for skipping school after his promise not to.

‘Let me guess, you’re here to march me back to school?’ Casey scoffed uninterestedly.

‘Nah,’ Brax hung his head back and relaxed. ‘I just wanted to see my favourite sis.’

‘That’s a little hard to do that when she’s six feet under.’ Casey shrugged.

‘I guess.’ Brax was off put by the dark remark and looked at the boy with intently to try and coax something from him. ‘It makes me feel closer I guess, visiting her grave. Is that why you come here?’

‘You could say that.’ Casey looked up from his book for the first time but still seemed reluctant to confide. After a while, he decided to dive in and whispered. ‘I miss her.’

‘Me too mate, me too.’ Brax patted his shoulder. ‘I wish she was alive but you know what, I just remember I’m still alive. Life doesn’t stop just because you need a time out. The future’s not going to wait for you to catch up, eh.’

‘Is this your way of telling me not to skip school?’ Casey raised his eyebrows.

Brax laughed. ‘Yeah, yeah, I guess you could say that. But in all seriousness, mate, I reckon Danielle would give you a serious telling off if she saw you here moping around. You know how feisty she can get, if she was here, she’d pour so much crap into your ear about not quitting that she’d make me look tame.’

Casey half-chuckled but couldn’t bring himself to be completely cheerful. ‘She would wouldn’t she?’

‘Yeah, so you better go back to school and do well else you’ll have a very angry ghost on your hands.’ Brax clicked his tongue.

‘We wouldn’t want that.’ What Brax was saying actually made sense. Casey felt a little of the weight in his heart lift away but there was still plenty more left.

‘When someone dies, I think, you tend to forget you’re still alive.’ Brax nudged his brother. ‘Don’t forget that, Case.’

‘I won’t.’ Casey coaxed a small smile. ‘Promise me you’ll remember too.’

‘You just focus on you. Don’t worry about me.’

‘Brax, promise me.’ Casey looked down at the grass directly below him. ‘You’ve been really angry lately, like you’re shutting off your emotions. I think this is the first time you’ve acted normal ever since…..that happened. The old you were a lot more likeable.’

‘I’m still me Case.’ Brax insisted. ‘I’m just a confused me.’

[mizziette]

SIXTY SEVEN

Brax tiptoed around the Callaghan house early in the morning, eager to get out of there quietly without waking anyone up. It had been a month since the graveyard and he had reluctantly taken his own advice and was more himself again. Of course, that meant he was getting bored of Teagan again, but he couldn’t well tell a girl that straight up could he? He just needed to find a way to break up gently.

‘Morning Brax.’ Brax jumped to find Darcy smiling at him from the couch. So much for a quiet exit. ‘Did you have a sleep over?’

Brax straightened up and smiled at her. ‘Yeah honey. I was just going to go home.’

‘Can you please make me some breakfast before you go? I’m hungry and mum won’t wake til later.’ Darcy swung her legs innocently in her Winx Club pyjamas.

‘Yeah, sure.’ Brax walked over to the kitchen, taking Darcy with him. ‘What’re you doing awake so early? It’s barely seven o’clock. Couldn’t sleep?’

‘I always wake up early.’ Darcy was unnaturally chirpy for seven in the morning. ‘Can you make pancakes? I love pancakes.’

‘You love pancakes?’ Brax put his arm around her as they settled near the kitchen counter. ‘I love pancakes too.’

‘You do? It’s the best huh?’ Darcy looked excited.

‘It sure is.’ Brax clapped his hands together. ‘So, where do we start?’

In no time, the two of them had things going. Under Brax’ instruction, Darcy poured the ingredients and much to her delight, even got to stir the mixture til it was gooey. Like her mum, she loved to cook. The seven year old happily watched as Brax fried the batter into uneven circles.

‘You’re not very good, are you Brax?’ Darcy criticised his frying skills.

‘I think I’m doing alright.’ Brax smiled defensively as he unsuccessfully turned the pancake on the pan and accidently pushed some batter on top of each other. Darcy looked at him knowingly. ‘I’m doing alright for me. This is an improvement compared to the last time I tried making pancakes.’

Darcy shook her head mocking disappointment. ‘Oh Brax, what am I going to do with you?’

‘I don’t know, Darce. I honestly don’t know.’ He poured some more batter into the pan after taking the last one out. ‘Hey, since it’s pretty obvious I can’t make circles, why don’t we try making other shapes?’

‘Like what?’ Darcy was interested in the idea and Brax couldn’t help but get into it as well. Hanging out with Darcy always made him feel good; there was just something about kids that made him feel at home. He couldn’t wait to have his own.

‘Well, what’s your favourite shape in the whole wide world?’

‘Love hearts.’ The answer was immediate. Brax immediately began moulding the batter on the pan with the spatula. ‘Brax, you’re messing it up. That doesn’t look like a heart.’

‘Well, why don’t you try it? Don’t go too close, the stove’s hot.’ Brax sighed and handed her the spatula. He stood behind the little girl on the little stool supervising as she worked her magic. When she was done, Brax took the spatula and flipped it over to cook the other side before pouring in the next one. They repeated this process until all the batter was gone.

The twosome sat at the table eating their creations. Darcy held up one. ‘Look, this one looks like star.’

‘Mine looks like Darth Vader.’ Brax lifted up his for show.

‘Who’s Darth Vader?’ Darcy looked confused.

Before Brax could reply, Teagan came out wrapping her flannel robe around her tightly and yawning. ‘What’s all this?’

‘Morning. Brax and I made pancakes.’ Darcy held hers up. ‘Look, they’re all different shapes and everything. You want one?’

Teagan smiled and sat down to grab one. ‘I’d love one.’

‘Look, here’s a love heart one for you. It’s because I love you.’ Darcy put a plate in front of her mum and placed the pancake on her plate.

Teagan couldn’t help but smile at Brax across the table as she ate her breakfast- which surprisingly tasted half decent- but Brax barely even noticed her. It was always like this when Darcy was around, Teagan always came second to her daughter and she knew it. In fact, Teagan came second to Brax in everything but there was no way she’d admit it.

‘Thanks for this.’ Teagan tried to thank him by reaching up to peck him over the table but Brax removed her subtly.

‘Yeah, I should get going.’ Brax reached for his keys on the table and Teagan’s heart dropped.

‘You’re leaving?’

‘Yeah.’ Now that Teagan was there, Brax suddenly felt no need to stick around. Reluctantly, he kissed Teagan quickly good bye but sighed when he felt nothing. He really couldn’t be surprised, he’d never felt anything but lust before. The only Callaghan he loved was Darcy. ‘Bye.’

'Bye Brax, thanks for breakfast.' Darcy waved mid bite.

‘Well, bye.’ Teagan watched him walk away and as she always did when he left, began wondering if he’d ever come back. Brax loved Darcy, so why couldn’t he love her mother? It always made her guilty when she felt like this; jealous of her own daughter who received more affection from Darryl Braxton than the woman who loved him for fifteen years.

[mizziette]

SIXTY EIGHT

Walking out of the Callaghan house, Brax wondered about love. What was it anyway? He knew enough to know he never felt it before and he wanted to. He wanted a family and kids as cute as Darcy.

Every relationship he’d ever been in had been casual. They were all of the same stock; the river girl kind. And river girls weren’t exactly what he was looking for. Someone strong, independent and good was what Brax wanted in his life. Too bad the good ones never gave the tattooed surfer a second glance.

As he strolled down the driveway and across the street, a car screeched to a halt as he unwittingly stepped in front of it. Brax glanced momentarily to find that a cop car had nearly collided with him. He made eye contact with a very annoyed Sergeant Buckton who glared at him to move out of the way.

‘Sorry.’ Brax mumbled sarcastically and ran across the street to open his car door as the squad car drove off, but not after the driver took a second glance at the man she’d nearly run over. Charlie couldn’t help herself as she turned to look at an unsuspecting Brax once more, unaware that she was giving him the second glance he’d always dreamed of from someone like her.

Getting into his car, Brax arrived home just in time to find Casey rushing out the door in his school uniform.

‘Mate, shouldn’t you have been in school two hours ago?’ Brax scolded.

‘Yeah, I slept in. Can you give me a ride?’ The boys went back to the black car and they drove off to Reefton Lakes High. Casey had been improving in school attendance and although the school still didn’t like him, Brax was proud to see him make an effort. He was trying to move on and that was all he could ask for.

‘Mr Braxton, late again? What a surprise.’ The teacher glared through his glasses as Casey sat in his seat. ‘Well, at least you bothered to show up this time.’

Casey felt like he wanted to punch the guy in the face. Why couldn’t grownups just leave him alone once in a while? Always with the snide comments. Instead, he settled into his seat and smiled cheekily. If they could do snide, so could he. ‘What can I say, sir? I guess I just missed you too much to stay away.’

The class laughed and the teacher hushed them. There. That made Casey feel a little better but there was still that lingering feeling of self-doubt. As usual, the words on the board blended and mashed into each other in his eyes creating confusion. Feeling dizzy, he looked down and doodled in his margin instead. It was too hard to concentrate. It always was.

The bell rang and Casey got up and started into the hallway where he unwittingly bumped into a student. The student turned and flung his hands in the air. ‘Watch it.’

Rolling his eyes, Casey went to his locker to change his books over. As he opened the locker, he smiled at a bald girl a few lockers right to him. She reminded him of Danielle. The girl smiled back; glad to have some support on her first day back to school after being sick.

‘You came here last year, right?’ Casey asked while putting his books away.

‘Yeah, I left for a while because… you know.’ She gestured to her bald scarfed head. ‘It’ll grow back soon though so that’s good. I’m Mel.’

‘Casey. I guess I’ll see you around.’ Casey closed his locker to go to his next class and walked away. That would have been it if something hadn’t caught his attention. As he walked away, he heard it.

‘Hey look its baldie. Nice look baldie.’ Some idiot laughed and chuckled with his mates. Mel looked embarrassed.

Without a thought, Casey dropped his books angrily and turned around abruptly fist flying. The guy who’d teased didn’t know what hit him at first until his smile was wiped straight off his face. Casey didn’t care that there was a crowd around them by now. He just couldn’t let him treat this girl like dirt. The only difference between his sister and Mel was that Danielle was dead.

Casey and the boy brawled, flinging their fists into each other with a determination. Casey was angry and his opponent wanted to save face. Blood spewed and it was obvious that Casey was winning but he just kept hitting.

‘What’s going on?’ A teacher came by and the crowd dispersed. He pulled the boys off each other fuming. It was a bloody scene. ‘Principal’s office! NOW!’

As the boys reluctantly went on their way, Mel mouthed a thank you to Casey for standing up for her. Too bad it would be useless in the principal’s office. He was in big trouble.

[mizziette]

SIXTY NINE

Casey sat in front of the principal’s desk with his mother at his side. The principal had been complaining about what a horrible student he was for the last two hours and he just wanted it to stop. Moping, he watched Mr Wickers spit a fountain with every word he drabbled, barely hearing a single word.

‘Mrs Braxton, I’m afraid this school cannot tolerate any more of your son’s behaviour. Casey is expelled from Reefton Lakes, effective immediately.’

Casey sat up straight. He definitely heard that one. ‘What?’

‘I thought you’d be happier Mr Braxton. Considering how much you love to skip school.’ Mr Wicker smirked.

‘So he’s expelled then?’ Cheryl pondered. ‘You’ve been yapping your useless rubbish at me for two hours to tell me he’s expelled. You couldn’t have told me that when I first came in? Could’ve saved both of us a lot of time but no, you had to make me listen to your boring voice for two hours.’

‘Mrs Braxton…’

‘It’s Cheryl. We’ve known each other for two whole hopeless hours, might as well call me by my first name.’ Cheryl smiled sarcastically.

‘Cheryl…’ Mr Wickers was not used to being put in his place, especially by someone a third his size. ‘Cheryl, Casey is failing in three of his subjects, missed 20% of the school year and is brawling in the halls. He broke a student’s nose today.’

‘Mr Knickers, you’ve already been through the rap sheet 5 times, I think I have it memorised by now.’ Cheryl rolled her eyes.

‘My…My name’s Wickers….not…’ Mr Wicker mumbled embarrassedly.

‘Oh, Knickers, schmickers, what’s the difference?’

Casey changed the subject with a forlorn look. ‘I’m really expelled.’

Mr Wickers nodded. ‘There’s no alternative. We give everyone an equal opportunity here and you took it for granted. Casey, I’m sure there’s a good kid somewhere under there but we can’t have our students beating each other up.’

‘Oh come on, that guy was bullying Mel over her chemo. What was I supposed to do, let it go?’ As much as Casey played indifferent to school, he couldn’t imagine not going.

At the word chemo, Cheryl moved in her seat uncomfortably. The word associated too closely to her ex’s love child for her liking. Mr Wickers continued. ‘If a classmate is being bullied, you inform a teacher about it, you don’t break a boy’s nose.’

‘I didn’t mean to break it.’ Casey pouted as he looked down at his bloodied blue shirt. He could feel the bruises on his face forming with every move. ‘

‘You’re lucky his parents are being so lenient. Expulsion is a far better punishment than a lawsuit would result in. You should be ashamed of your behaviour Casey, that kind of disgusting violence will not be tolerated in my school.’

‘Oh shut up, you old goose!’ Cheryl groaned, making the principal raise his eyebrows. ‘I don’t see the other kid being punished for “disgusting violence”, do you? No, so before you go shaming my boy, try shaming the rich kid for my boy’s poor face. I mean, look at him. I created this handsome face and that idiot goes and wrecks it.’

Casey squirmed away as Cheryl reached over maternally and fussed with his blue face as if he was a little kid. He tried to push her hands away. ‘Mum, I’m fine.’

Mr Wickers couldn’t get over Cheryl’s character. She was quite something and her feistiness and brashness intimidated him. He tried to reason. ‘Cheryl, the other boy is in hospital getting his nose reset.’

‘Oh no, poor boy gets to have a free nose job, how awful!’ Cheryl mocked and Casey tried to suppress a laugh. ‘Like Case said, he was sticking up for his girl…’

‘She’s not my girl, mum.’ Casey interjected.

‘As I was saying,’ Cheryl glared at her son for interrupting. ‘He was sticking up for some girl who was being terrorised by a crazed man. Casey’s always been a gentleman; you can’t hold that against him, surely.’

‘I stand by my decision, Mrs Braxton.’

‘Very well.’ Cheryl stood up and coaxed her son up. ‘Mr Knickers, I’d thank you for wasting my time, but I wouldn’t want to sound sarcastic. We won’t be seeing you again.’

Cheryl walked out and Casey looked back and forth between his former principal who looked perplexed and his mother’s back before following her. Cheryl spoke as she strode. ‘That man’s got some nerve, doesn’t he? Bullying my baby boy all because he stood up for his girl.’

‘Not my girl, mum.’ Casey rolled his eyes as he struggled to keep up. ‘Don’t even know her.’

‘Right, my baby’s growing up, aren’t you?’ Cheryl looked at him knowingly and pinched his cheeks lovingly making him squirm. 'With girlfriends and the lot.'

‘Mum!’ Casey complained and Cheryl laughed at his unease.

‘Well, good news is you don’t have to go to stick around this dump of a place anymore, eh? You can get a job and earn some real money, instead of wasting your time.’

Casey was silent and sombre. As he walked out of the school for the last time, he felt relief. But there was also sadness. This was what he’s always wanted. Months of complaining to Brax about going to school and he’d finally gotten what he wanted. What he’d thought he’d wanted. This was what he’d hoped for. No more school. So why did he feel so empty, like he’d lost something important?