Unconditional Love

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments. Hope this one is okay, I don't feel it's my best...

Chapter 111

“Has he been yet? Has he been?” Connor ran into Charlie and Brax’s room and jumped up onto the bed and started jumping up and down. “Mummy mummy wake up.” Connor jumped up and down, shaking the bed as he jumped.

Charlie moaned lightly as she opened her eyes and stared up at her son. “Connor sit down.” Charlie pulled on his arm and he lay down on the bed in between Charlie and Brax.

“What time is it?” Brax yawned sleepily.

“6.30,” Charlie exhaled as she looked to the digital clock. “Go back to bed Connor.”

“But we need to see if he’s been,” Connor sat up in the bed. “Please mummy, let’s go down now.”

“No, daddy isn’t coming till 7.30,” Charlie exhaled. “You can’t open any presents till then.”

“Aww mummy that’s not fair,” Connor sighed. “Please at least let me see if he’s been.”

“Of course he will have been,” Charlie said as she turned around in the bed and rubbed Connor’s back. “You’ve been a very good boy and will get your presents but daddy wants to see you opening them too so you’ll have to wait until he comes around, okay?”

“Well why can’t he come now?” Connor sighed as Brax sat up in the bed and rubbed his tired eyes.

“Because 7.30 is still early,” Brax yawned. “Go on, be a good boy and go back to your bed.”

Connor scowled as he looked to Brax. “No. I want to get my presents, please mummy.”

“Connor,” Charlie exhaled. “Please, go to bed.”

“Well I will go and see Ruby and Romeo instead.” Connor sighed as he jumped off the bed.

“Don’t you wake your sister up.” Charlie said as Connor ran from the room, already yelling out for his sister. Charlie sighed as she moved over in the bed and rested her head against Brax’s chest.

“So I guess I need to get used to early mornings now then, right?” Brax questioned.

“Oh yeah,” Charlie nodded. “And getting used to getting up at 2am, 4am, 6am....” Charlie trailed off. “I’m sure you’ll get the hang of the night feeds though. Very sweet of you to offer to do them all.” Charlie looked up to Brax as she gave him a cheeky grin.

“Aww babe I would but I don’t have the equipment.” Brax said as he put his hand over Charlie’s breast.

“If you think that’s going to stop you, you can think again,” Charlie said as Brax moved his hand and started to rub the bottom of Charlie’s back. “I’ll be expressing milk so you’ll get your fair share of feeds mister.”

“I see,” Brax nodded lightly. “Well I guess little Pip will need fed so you know....gotta be done.” Brax smiled.

“Yup,” Charlie yawned as she buried her head further against Brax’s chest. “Merry Christmas by the way.”

“Merry Christmas baby,” Brax smiled as he wrapped his arms around Charlie in a hug. “Let’s try and get a little more sleep eh?” Brax placed a soft kiss on the top on Charlie’s head as she snuggled into him to hopefully get a little more sleep before having to get up with Connor.

******

Connor ripped open present after present, getting new clothes, DVDs, lego and plenty of sweets. “Mummy where is grandma?” Connor asked as he pulled open a present from Brax.

“She’s running late, she’ll see you at the beach later.” Charlie answered.

“Okay,” Connor answered. “Wow scalextrics,” Connor widened his eyes as he lifted the box up for all to see. “It’s my best present Darryl,” Connor stood up and ran over to Charlie. “My best after my bike from Santa. He even knew to get me it blue. My favourite colour. He did, he knew my favourite colour.”

“Of course Santa knows your favourite colour bud,” Charlie smiled as she wrapped her arm around her son, happy he was pleased with his new bike. “And so does Brax by the looks of it. You’ve got a red car or a blue car.” Charlie said as she pointed to the cars on the box.

“Wow, blue, I will always be blue, okay Darryl?” Connor looked up to him and Brax smiled as he gave him a little nod.

“So that means I get to be red then?” Brax said and Connor nodded.

“And daddy you can build my new legos with me okay?” Connor questioned as he looked up to Angelo.

“Sure buddy.” Angelo smiled as he looked to Charlie who’d moved away from Brax and was standing next to the cabinet looking down at the picture of Lily. She pursed her lips together as she ran her hands over it.

“You alright Charlie?” Ruby questioned. She knew what Charlie was feeling would be a lot worse than her, that losing your child must be the worst thing anyone can ever face, but she was thinking of Aimee today, and she knew that Lily wouldn’t be far from Charlie’s mind.

“Fine,” Charlie cleared her throat as she turned back around to face everyone. Connor had opened all his presents and Romeo was busy putting all the wrapping paper into a bin bag as Connor was already ripping into a bag of sweets. “Eh, can we go up to the grave now though?” Charlie said as she looked to Angelo.

“Yeah.” Angelo took a deep breath as he lifted the teddy bear he’d bought for Lily from the couch.

“Mummy can I take my bike with me to the beach?” Connor questioned. “Maybe later you could teach me to ride it cos it has no training wheels so I need to be shown. I could ride it on the path near the beach, ay?”

“Sure you can,” Charlie smiled down at her son. “Brax and daddy can teach you yeah?”

“Both of us?” Angelo screwed his face up. “Surely only one of us needs to.”

“Daddy it’s okay,” Connor said. “You both can help me.”

“Don’t you just want daddy to show you?” Angelo asked.

“He just said he wanted both of us too,” Brax answered. “I’m sure we’ll can manage that.”

“And I am sure that I can manage to teach my son to ride a bike on my own,” Angelo raised his voice. “I’m his father. It’s what I am supposed to do. You get to teach that one.” Angelo said as he pointed to Charlie’s stomach.

“Guys, c’mon,” Romeo tried to make peace. “Don’t argue over this, not today. It’s Christmas.”

“No it’s fine,” Brax sighed, feeling defeated. “Teach him yourself if it’s that important to you. Let’s just go up to the grave.”

“You’re not coming,” Angelo gave a sort of laugh. “Family only mate.”

Brax rubbed his head as he looked to Charlie. “I eh....yeah, I’m sorry, it’s eh....you know, me, Angelo, Connor and Rubes.”

“I see,” Brax exhaled, feeling slightly saddened that Charlie didn’t include him as ‘family’ in terms of Lily. He was as good as her step-father, really. “Well I’ll take his bike to the beach and see you there then.” Brax spoke quietly as he opened the front door and took the bike by the handlebars and left the house.

“See you soon,” Romeo smiled lightly as he rubbed Ruby’s arm and left the house to walk to the beach with Brax.

Charlie exhaled lightly, knowing she’d upset Brax, but would have to talk over her reasoning later. She picked up the flowers from the cabinet before she, Angelo, Ruby and Connor left the house and made their way in Charlie’s car up to the graveyard.

[Danni02]

Thank you for the comments.

Chapter 112

Charlie walked down the beach to find Brax sitting out of the way of everyone else, letting the sand fall through the gaps in his hand, before picking up another clump of sand. “Starting to think you weren’t coming,” Brax sighed before throwing the rest of the sand to the ground. “You’ve been ages.”

“Didn’t realise there was a time limit on how long I could be at my daughters grave for.” Charlie said as she sat down next to him.

“No, sorry, I guess there isn’t,” Brax looked round to Charlie and could see that she’d shed a lot tears. “You alright?”

“As good as I can be,” Charlie spoke quietly. “It’s hard being without her all the time, you know it’s always going be like there is something missing from my life, but Christmas... the holidays...it’s worse because she should be here. She should have been excited over presents this morning and running around the beach now with Connor. It’s a time for families to be together and mines never will again anymore.”

Brax nodded lightly, understanding it was going to be hard time for Charlie, but he had to ask her, he had to know what he wasn’t included in the day. “I eh, I expected to be with you at the grave today,” Brax spoke tentatively. “Do you not see me as family?” Brax questioned. “What do I have to do so you do see me as family? Go out with you? Live with you? Have a baby with you? Take care of your son like he’s my own?” Brax questioned. “Because I’ve done all that, isn’t that enough?”

“I....” Charlie paused. “You are my family, Brax, but Lily is my daughter with Angelo and I want to keep her separate from the family that we have. I eh...I need you to be my comfort away from Lily. So I’m not constantly reminded of her when I’m in your presence. You know, I want to remember and love her, then be able to be with you and have this child,” Charlie put her hand onto her stomach as she spoke. “I want us to make our own family with Connor and Rubes of course, but Lily can’t be in our family no matter how much I want her to be here and including you right now with things to do with her, it’s just, I don’t want to put a dampener on our family for you.”

“Charlie,” Brax shook his head as he wrapped his arm around her. “It wouldn’t be putting a dampener on it. She’s your daughter, she’d never put a dampener on the life that we have.”

“Right now I just feel that I need to keep her separate. I’m not doing it to shut you out, like I say, I need the comfort that you’re not someone so involved in her life. To know that I can move on and find happiness again with someone and have a nice life without her,” Charlie sniffed back, not wanting to cry again. She’d done enough of that at the graveyard. “Maybe one day I will feel like I can include you but right now I want to try things this way.”

“Okay,” Brax smiled lightly as he placed a kiss on her temple, glad Charlie was able to be honest with him when it came to her feelings on Lily. “Just whatever you feel comfortable with.”

“Thanks for being so understanding,” Charlie gave him a weak smile before she stood up from the sand and wiped the back of her dress down. “You coming back to be with the others?”

“Sure.” Brax smiled as he stood up and took Charlie’s hand into his, walking back over to the rest of the people on the beach as they looked up to see Angelo teaching Connor how to ride his bike, the smile on Connor’s face making Charlie light up. Brax looked to her and smiled before they walked up to her son, to see him riding his bike without the training wheels.

******

Ruby closed the case before looking up to Romeo. “I don’t know why we are getting everything ready,” Ruby sighed. “The passports aren’t even here.”

“They’ll come.” Romeo exhaled as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Romeo we are leaving today,” Ruby raised her voice. “Today okay, there’s no more time for them to come. The whole holiday has been ruined now.” Ruby banged her hand off the case, annoyed that it seemed they wouldn’t be able to leave for Laos today.

“The mail hasn’t arrived yet,” Romeo said casually. “Have faith, Rubes.”

“You have -”

“Rubes, there’s some mail for you,” Charlie said as she walked into the room. “Looks like it’s something important.”

“Oh the passports, it’s the passports right?” Ruby took the envelope from her mother and ripped it open, pulling out the two passports. Breathing a sigh of relief as she looked down to them.

“I told you they’d be here on time,” Romeo grinned as he took his passport in his hand. “You were all worried over nothing.”

“It was cutting it just a little bit too fine,” Ruby exhaled as she put her passport into her bag. “But I’m so excited.” Ruby gave a little squeal as she jumped.

“Me too,” Romeo smiled. “Then when we come home we’ll be house hunting.”

“Aww kinda sad though that I’ve spent my last night in this room though. It’s so nice and it’s not really been this way for so long.” Ruby said as she turned to face Charlie.

“We can keep it like this if you wish,” Charlie said. “You’re more than welcome to stay here as long as you wish, both of you.”

“You need this room for the baby.” Ruby answered.

“The baby can share with Connor.” Charlie said.

“What if it’s a girl?” Romeo questioned. “She won’t can share a room with her big brother, surely?”

“For a few years it’ll be fine,” Charlie answered. “Maybe then you will be ready to move out and then they can have their own rooms.”

“No no,” Ruby shook her head. “I want to move out and live with my gorgeous fiancé,” Ruby grinned as she pulled Romeo close to her and stood on her tiptoes, placing a soft kiss on his lips. “Ah I can’t wait to drink cocktails on the beach with you.”

“Me either,” Romeo grinned. “It’s going to be an awesome adventure babe.”

“Ruby Ruby,” Connor came running into the room. “You’re still here,” Connor smiled up at his sister. “When you go will you bring me presents?”

“Ah I don’t know about that, what do you think Romeo?” Ruby questioned.

“Well you did just get lots of nice presents for Christmas, didn’t you?” Romeo teased the boy.

“Well that was from Santa too and it was 3 days ago now,” Connor sighed. “You should cos you are on a holiday so you should,” Connor nodded. “Ay mum?”

“Well maybe a little thing.” Charlie answered.

“See Ruby, mummy says so.” Connor said before sticking his tongue out.

“Oh well if mummy says so,” Ruby raised her eyebrows. “Of course we’ll bring you lots of cool things bud,” Ruby said. “Now come give me a hug.” Connor gave Ruby a hug goodbye.

“You going already?” Connor questioned.

“No, we have a few hours before we need to leave but your daddy will be here to take you to Melbourne soon.” Ruby answered.

“Oh yeah I need to finish packing my things.” Connor said before running form the room.

“I better go help him,” Charlie gave a little laugh. “I’ll see you later.” Charlie said before walking through to Connor’s room to help him finish packing for Melbourne.

******

Charlie was standing outside of her house with Connor. Angelo had arrived to collect him and he’d put his case into the boot of the car. “Right bud, you have a great time with daddy and I’ll see you soon, okay?” Charlie said as she bent down to her son’s level.

“What do you mean?” Connor questioned. “Aren’t you coming?”

“No, I’m staying here with Brax,” Charlie answered, slightly confused. She though Connor knew this. “This is just a holiday for you and daddy.”

“I don’t want to go without you mummy,” Connor shook his head. “I thought you were coming too.”

“Aww no sweetheart, just you and daddy.” Charlie ran her hand over his hair.

“No,” Connor’s eyes welled up with tears. “I want you to come too,” Connor wrapped his arms around Charlie tightly. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“Hey buddy, c’mon, we’ll go see grandma and grandpa,” Angelo bent down to Connor’s level. “You’ll get spoilt there, eh,” Angelo nudged his arm. “Might even have more presents for you.”

“But I didn’t know you weren’t coming.” Connor started to cry as he spoke.

“Hey, Connor, stop being silly,” Charlie wiped her thumbs across his tear stained face. “You’re okay. You’ll get to have lots of fun at grandma’s and uncle Paulie and aunty Ana will be there too. You can show uncle Paulie all your new soccer skills.”

“No,” Connor clung onto Charlie as he hid his face against her chest. “You should come too.” Connor’s voice was muffled as Charlie felt his tears falling onto her top.

“Someone’s go to stay here and look after Brax, don’t you think?” Charlie questioned. Connor sniffed back as he pulled his head back as wiped his hand across his face.

“He...could....come...to.” Connor spoke between heavy breaths.

“No, we both have to work,” Charlie said. “And you can go to Melbourne and have lots of fun playing with daddy and grandma, grandpa, Paulie and Ana. And hey, when you get back it’ll only be one more sleep until you get to go pick up Zak.”

“Really? One more?” Connor questioned and Charlie nodded as she rubbed her son’s cheek and saw his eyes light up a little.

“Okay, so you’ll go with daddy and have fun?” Charlie questioned and Connor gave a little nod.

“You call me every day mummy,” Connor instructed. “Okay, promise, every day.”

“I promise,” Charlie smiled lightly as she gave her son a hug. “Love you.”

“Love you mummy.” Connor said before he got into the car and put his seat belt on.

“Surprised Brax isn’t here to say goodbye.” Angelo said as he closed to door of the car as Connor stared out the window at his parents.

“He had to work today,” Charlie answered. “He said goodbye this morning.”

“Ah I see,” Angelo exhaled. “Well we best get going then.” Angelo said as he opened the front door of the car.

“You look after my boy,” Charlie said and Angelo nodded. “Of course. See you in 5 days.” Angelo said as he got into the car and drove off, Charlie waving until the car disappeared out of sight. She exhaled lightly before walking back towards her house.

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments.

Chapter 113

Charlie and Brax walked into the house after saying goodbye to Ruby, Romeo and Morag, who was driving home to the city that afternoon and taking Ruby and Romeo to the airport. “So, it’s just me and you till the little bud comes home in 5 days....” Brax wrapped his arms around Charlie from behind. “Well me, you and little Pip.” Brax said as he rubbed Charlie’s tiny bump.

“Yes,” Charlie smiled as she turned to face him. “Kinda sad Morag had to leave though,” Charlie sighed. “Now New Year is going to be really quiet.”

“So you don’t want to be alone with your gorgeous boyfriend to bring in the New Year?” Brax questioned.

“That sounds great, have you seen him then?” Charlie gave a cheeky smile as Brax mocked offence.

“So cheeky.” Brax said as she tickled her side.

“Don’t,” Charlie swerved her body out of the way. “You’ll make me pee.”

“Oh well don’t need any little accidents,” Brax laughed as he stopped tickling her. “So what do you fancy doing for the rest of the day?”

“We could go shopping.” Charlie suggested.

“Oh you want to buy some stuff for little Pip?” Brax smiled; glad it seemed Charlie was slowly getting used to the idea of the baby.

“Well we can get some stuff for Pip but you and Connor have already bought a lot of stuff,” Charlie answered. “I was thinking more along the lines of maternity clothes for when I get fat and ugly.”

“Aww baby you will never be fat and ugly,” Brax said. “More like radiantly pregnant and super gorgeous.”

“You have to say that,” Charlie replied. “You’re probably just trying to score points so you get lucky tonight.”

“Never,” Brax shook his head as he gave a little laugh. “I’m just saying the truth babe,” Brax said. “But sure we can go clothes shopping for you,” Brax smiled. “Better not forget my wallet then eh.” Brax laughed once again.

“I can buy my own clothes.” Charlie replied.

“And I can spoil my gorgeous girlfriend and mother of my child, can’t I?” Brax smiled.

“Well if you are offering I’m not going to stop you,” Charlie laughed. “I thought we could maybe make a start on Connor’s room too. We could probably get it finished before he comes home if we work hard at it when we’re not working.”

“Ah yeah it’ll be a nice surprise for him too,” Brax answered. “Then we have plenty time to plan the best nursery ever for Pip.”

“Yeah,” Charlie gave a half-hearted smile. “Well I’ll just go to the toilet then we can go yeah?”

“Sure.” Brax gave Charlie a smile as he watched her walk off to the bathroom.

******

“Sorry.” Charlie said as she walked back over to Brax. They’d been shopping for around an hour when Charlie said she needed the toilet again.

“It’s okay,” Brax answered before he stepped away from the shop window, hoping Charlie didn’t see what he was looking at. “You can’t help when you need to go.”

“It’s only going to get worse too you know,” Charlie sighed as she put her hand onto her stomach as they started walking again. “Once my bump gets bigger it’s going to press on my bladder even more.”

“Maybe we should look in to getting you some adult nappies then.” Brax laughed as he took Charlie’s hand into his.

“Oi.” Charlie slapped his chest.

Brax gave Charlie a cheeky grin. “No, but do you think maybe we should just start buying things like that now? You know, stock up?”

Charlie scrunched her face up. “Wouldn’t hurt I guess.” Charlie answered as they walked into a shop of baby clothes. Charlie had got a few items of maternity clothing, but given that she hardly had a bump yet, she didn’t buy too much.

“Oh my gosh we need to buy this,” Brax felt his heart melting as he picked up a little pink dress with matching sun hat. “It’s gorgeous.”

“It’s a dress.” Charlie answered.

“Well done Sherlock.” Brax replied.

“Brax,” Charlie exhaled. “We don’t know what it’s going to be. What if you buy a dress and it’s a boy? It would be a waste.”

“But we could buy a dress and it could be a girl,” Brax said. “C’mon Charlie a few dresses won’t hurt.”

“Oh so it’s a few now?” Charlie questioned. “Babe, I just don’t think we need to be buying dresses just yet. Let’s just stick to baby grows and once the baby arrives and we know that it’s a boy or girl then we can buy more gender specific things.”

“We have heaps of baby grows though,” Brax sighed. “I want to buy something proper,” Brax gave Charlie a sad pout. “Please.” Brax spoke in a baby voice.

“Something proper eh?” Charlie questioned. “Well what about a pram, a car seat, a bouncy chair?” Charlie questioned.

“Really, you want to shop from them already?” Brax smiled, expecting Charlie to say that they had plenty of time to get things like that given she was only 14 weeks.

“Well you said you want to buy proper stuff, didn’t you?” Charlie questioned. “And that’s proper stuff.”

“Okay,” Brax smiled as he put the dress back down onto the hanger and took Charlie’s hand, pulling her across the shop to the section of prams. “Maybe we could even look at bedroom furniture too.”

“Uh-uh, Connor’s room first,” Charlie answered. “And besides, Connor is going to want to help you with the baby’s room so we’ll wait till he is home.”

“Sure,” Brax smiled. “In fact, you’re not allowed to help. Just me and Connor.”

“Is that so?” Charlie questioned. “What if I want too?”

“Mmm well me and Connor will lock you out the room,” Brax gave a little laugh. “We’ll let you sit on the couch with a box of cookies and I’m sure you’ll happily eat your way through them and continue to make the baby all fat and squishy.”

“You know you keep saying that but I don’t even have a bump yet,” Charlie answered. “At least not how I thought I’d be. With Connor and Lily I was bigger than I am now.”

“Oh,” Brax widened his eyes. “You think we should be worried?”

“What that I’m not getting as fat as I did the last time?” Charlie questioned. “I’m not worried. The weird food cravings, the fact I am still occasionally sick and that I need to pee all the time lets me know the child is there.” Brax smiled lightly as he put his hand onto her just noticeable bump.

“And we’ll be able to feel her moving soon, right?” Brax smiled.

“Yeah we will,” Charlie answered. “A few more weeks maybe. I can kinda feel flutters right now, but it’s nothing you’d notice,” Charlie said feeling she needed to explain why she hadn’t told Brax yet. “I can just feel it more because I’ve been pregnant before and am more aware of what it feels like. But a few weeks and you’ll can feel it.”

“I can’t wait to feel her kick for the first time.” Brax smiled. “It’s going to be amazing.”

“It’s weird,” Charlie exhaled. “But you know a good kind of weird,” Charlie pursed her lips together before looking passed Brax to the prams. “Anyways, let’s pick out a pram then. Keep you happy hmm.” Charlie pushed on Brax’s back as they stepped forward to look at the prams, two long rows of different colours.

“What about this one?” Brax smiled as he pulled out a bright pink pram.

“Seriously? I won’t let you buy a dress and you think I’d be happy with a pink pram?” Charlie questioned. “Gee someone is being subtle about wanting a girl.” Charlie rolled her eyes. “Not.”

“Well little girls are cute.” Brax smiled.

“And boys aren’t?” Charlie questioned.

“Of course they are,” Brax answered. “And it’s our child, I mean, look at the parents, especially the father,” Brax gave a cheeky grin. “It’ll be a stunner no matter what it is, but you know, I’m allowed to have a feeling of what it is am I not?”

“Sure you are,” Charlie answered. “But I’m not putting any son of mine in a pink pram. What’s wrong with just plain old black or grey?”

“That’s boring,” Brax sighed as he pushed the pink pram back into its place. “What about red then?” Charlie pursed her lips together. Lily had a red pram and she didn’t want this baby having the same. Before she had a chance to answer, Brax spoke again, much to her relief. “Or oooh orange, that’s bright.” Brax pulled the orange pram from its place and Charlie had to laugh lightly at his enthusiasm.

“A bit too bright maybe,” Charlie said. “What about this one.” Charlie pulled out a dark grey and light green coloured pram, the bottom being the dark grey and the hood and top cover being light green.

“Yes, I love it,” Brax smiled. “Little Pip will be the coolest kid in town in that.” Brax smiled as he took a look at the price tag and Charlie saw his eyes widen a little.

“Not too much is it?” Charlie questioned.

“Not for our Pip.” Brax answered. “I want to get this one, do you?”

“Yeah, it’s fine for me.” Charlie smiled as she ran her hand over the matching nappy bag that was hanging over the handles.

“Great,” Brax smiled. “I’ll go find someone to get us one then we can look at the car seats and bouncy chairs.” Brax said before he disappeared off to find a sales assistant.

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments.

Chapter 114

Charlie was in the kitchen, putting her breakfast dishes into the dishwasher when Brax walked into the room and cheekily slapped her backside. “Hey, what you doing?” Charlie gave a little squeal as she turned to face him to see he was standing there in the nude. “Little underdressed are we not?” Charlie raised her eyebrows.

“Ha, I thought that I could entice you back to bed a little easier this way.” Brax gave a cheeky grin as he walked closer to Charlie and put his hand on her cheek, rubbing it ever so lightly before he placed a soft kiss on her lips, letting his hand slip down and rest on her bottom.

“I have to work.” Charlie wrapped her arms around his neck as she spoke, before they kissed again.

Brax brought his hand up to her brow. “With a temperature like that, oh no,” Brax shook his head. “Straight back to bed for you baby.”

Charlie gave a little laugh. “I don’t have a temperature.”

“Hmm, well I think you are smoking hot,” Brax gave her a grin as he started to undo the buttons on her work shirt. “Stay with me,” Brax whispered as he placed a kiss on her neck. “A whole day in bed, how hot would that be?”

Charlie felt herself relax a little as Brax undid the last button on her shirt. “I can’t,” Charlie shook her head as she moved Brax’s hands from her stomach. “I really need to go to work.”

“Call in sick,” Brax said. “Simple and believable since you’re pregnant.” Brax gave her a smile before he softly kissed her neck.

“Mmm,” Charlie moaned, letting Brax continue to place small kisses on her neck as she ran her hands over his back, caressing him softly. Brax moved his body even closer to Charlie and she felt him growing hard against her leg. He kissed along her jaw line until he found her mouth and immediately placed his tongue into her. Charlie let the kiss deepen as Brax lifted her up onto the worktop, before pulling her shirt from her body, the kiss growing all the more passionate as Brax worked at the belt on Charlie’s pants before undoing the button and zip, before he pulled back and grinned up at her. “Why did you stop?” Charlie questioned as her breathing became slightly heavier.

Brax gave a little grin as he lifted her into his arms, so Charlie’s legs were straddled around his waist. “Let’s go back to bed.” Brax whispered before he made his way across to the stairs and up to their bedroom.

******

Romeo handed Ruby the cocktail before taking a seat behind her in the sand, opening his legs out so Ruby’s slotted herself in between them and rested her head back against his chest. Romeo placed a soft kiss on her head as her put one hand around her stomach. “So, first of many cocktails on the beach eh,” Romeo said as they clinked glasses together before taking a drink. “It’s gorgeous here.” Romeo and Ruby looked to the ocean. It was a gorgeous crystal blue, the reflection from the sunlight making it looking even bluer, the white sand soft and fine beneath them.

“I know,” Ruby answered. “I could just sit here for 3 months and stare at the view. I’d never get sick of it.”

“Might start smelling though,” Romeo laughed. “Staying put here for 3 whole months. Be at bit hungry too.”

“Oh you’re so funny,” Ruby rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean though, right?”

“Oh yeah,” Romeo nodded. “Would be lovely to get married on this beach.”

“We couldn’t,” Ruby sat up and turned around to face him. “Could we?”

“Well we are engaged,” Romeo answered. “Marriage is usually the next step after that.”

“Yeah but we said it was going to be a long engagement and Charlie would freak if I didn’t have her at my wedding,” Ruby exhaled. On one hand she loved the idea of eloping in Laos with Romeo, but on the other she’d want Charlie and Connor there at least when she was getting married. “You’re not about to have a minister and wedding band jump out on me, are you?”

“No,” Romeo gave a little laugh. “But I’d love to make you Mrs Smith, so maybe we should think about tying the knot here,” Romeo smiled as he placed his hand onto her cheek and rubbed it gently. “You know at least consider it.”

Ruby gave a sort of smile. “Yeah, we can think about it.”

Romeo smiled before taking a drink of his cocktail. “You’re so gorgeous, you know that?”

Ruby blushed. “Thanks, not so bad looking yourself.”

Romeo grinned as he pulled Ruby closer to him. “I can’t wait to marry you – whenever that may be – and have a family with you. You do want a family, don’t you?”

“One day,” Ruby nodded. “I think I’ll probably feel a little guilty at first though, if I am being honest.”

“Really, what do you have to feel guilty about?” Romeo gave Ruby a confused look.

“The fact I gave up Aimee but will keep my next child.” Ruby bowed her head down sadly.

“You shouldn’t feel guilty,” Romeo exhaled. “You gave Aimee a fantastic life with Tony and Rachel,” Romeo rubbed her arm softly. “That shouldn’t make you feel guilt.”

“I know I will,” Ruby answered. “That I gave her up like I didn’t care about her but will keep another baby.”

“Of course you care about her,” Romeo said. “You care about her so much and that’s why you wanted her to have a better life than you felt you could give her right now. That shows anyone how much you cared for her and loved her.”

“Yeah?” Ruby questioned. “Then how come all I feel now is guilt?”

“It’s a stage all birth mothers probably go through at one point,” Romeo guessed. “I’m sure you’ll feel fine about it soon enough.”

“I think it’ll be with me for the rest of my life,” Ruby answered. “Maybe I don’t deserve to have any more children after what I did to Aimee.”

“Don’t say that,” Romeo said. “You do deserve to have anything you want in life. What you did for Aimee was great and you gave two people who couldn’t have a child together a chance at being parents. That’s the best gift anyone can ever give.”

“Yeah maybe it’s made Tony and Rachel happy but look how it’s made me feel.” Ruby almost whispered for fear of crying.

“C’mon,” Romeo wrapped his arms around Ruby in a hug. He knew Ruby was bound to have her moments where she would feel down about Aimee. “It’s okay.” Romeo kissed Ruby’s head softly as he rubbed her arm in comfort. Ruby didn’t bother to say anything else. She was happy to receive the comfort from her fiancé. She buried her head further into him as they looked out to the crystal blue ocean in silence as they remained in the embrace.

******

Charlie turned the taps off, checking the temperature before she got into the bathtub and lay back, resting her head against the edge of the tub as the hot water and bubbles surrounded her. She closed her eyes and let her hands rest against her stomach as she exhaled. “Not even asking me to join you then?” Brax questioned as he walked into the bathroom. Charlie opened her eyes as she sat up and looked to her boyfriend who had two champagne glasses in his hand, filled with apple juice.

“No,” Charlie shook her head. “I’ve spent the whole day in bed with you,” Charlie answered. “Thought we could do with a break from each other.”

Brax gave a little grin as he handed Charlie the apple juice. “You’re stuck with me all day baby,” Brax pulled down his boxers and threw them to the floor before getting into the bath with Charlie. “Cheers.” Brax clunked his glass against Charlie’s before taking a drink.

Charlie raised her eyebrows. “And this drink is in aid of?”

“It’s nice to be all romantic in the bath with your girlfriend.” Brax answered.

“And apple juice is the way to go then?” Charlie laughed before taking a drink.

“When little Pip is growing, yes,” Brax nodded. “Once Pip arrives we can change the apple juice back to champagne.”

“You think so?” Charlie questioned. “Don’t you think we’ll be a little busy with a new baby and of course Connor to look after to have champagne baths together?”

“They have to sleep,” Brax answered. “And they can always pay a visit to big sisters house.” Brax laughed.

“If they find a house in the bay,” Charlie answered. “What if they move further away?”

“Nah,” Brax shook his head. “They said they’d rent a van till they found a place in the bay, you don’t need to worry about that.”

Charlie gave a weak smile as she put the glass down on the edge of the tub. “So, are you going to let me go to work tomorrow?” Charlie questioned.

“Hmmm I think you should call in sick again,” Brax gave a little grin as he raised his eyebrows. “We should definitely have a repeat of today.”

“Oh really?” Charlie raised one eyebrow. “I thought maybe today would have tired you out?”

Brax gasped. “No way,” Brax shook his head. “In fact, I could go again right now,” Brax put his glass on the edge of the bathtub and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on Charlie’s lips. Charlie smiled into the kiss as they repositioned themselves in the bath, so Charlie was straddling him, her arms wrapped around his neck as the kiss never broke, only deepened. “God I love you Charlotte Michelle Buckton.”

“I love you too Darryl Braxton.” Charlie whispered before they met in another kiss.

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments. Finally found time to write today, I'm not sure where the past 10 days have gone! Need to get back into the swing of writing haha! Anyways, I hope you like this one.

Chapter 115

Charlie was standing in the kitchen, talking to Connor on her phone. “Yeah, well you have fun at the beach today okay, I have to go now........you’re what?.......going to bury daddy in the sand?” Charlie gave a little laugh. “Well have fun burying daddy then.....okay, yeah I love you too bud.....I know, I miss you too....see you real soon, okay, bye sweetie.” Charlie exhaled as she put her phone down on the worktop before opening the fridge and taking out the orange juice and pouring herself a glass.

“Well who said you could get out of bed?” Brax questioned as he walked into the kitchen and over to Charlie and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

“If you are making me take another sick day, I am not lying in bed doing nothing all day like yesterday.” Charlie answered as she turned to face him.

“We didn’t really do nothing, did we?” Brax gave a cheeky smile. “As I recall, we did a lot of something.”

“Well yes, but...” Charlie trailed off. “Let’s do something worth doing today.”

“Worth doing?” Brax looked offended. “You don’t think what we did was worth doing?”

“Of course, I meant...” Charlie paused as she pursed her lips together. “Go get dressed and we’ll make a start to Connor’s room today. We said we’d have that done for when he came home so he was surprised.”

“Can’t we go back to bed for an hour then?” Brax said before softly placing a kiss on Charlie’s lips.

“Mmm,” Charlie shook her head as she pulled back as she put her arms around his neck. “How about we make a start to the bedroom today? You know, put Ruby’s furniture and stuff into the garage and pull the paper off, then once we’ve done that, we can spend the rest of the day in bed.” Charlie raised her eyebrows before placing a kiss on his lips.

“Mmm and how exactly will you be able to help me with the heavy lifting of the bed, wardrobe, etc.?” Brax questioned as he placed his hand onto her small bump. “No heavy lifting while Pip is in there.”

“Well you can call a few guys from work.” Charlie said.

“Work? Where I’ve just called in sick the last 2 days? You want me to ask people from there over and see how un-sick I am?” Brax questioned.

“Well....” Charlie scrunched her face up. “You’ll have to take everything apart anyways so it fits out the room and down the stairs so then things won’t be as heavy, so I’m sure we’ll can manage and besides, you aren’t exactly lacking in the muscle department.” Charlie grinned cheekily as she ran her hands over his upper arms.

“And you’re sure you’ll be fine? I don’t want do anything to hurt Pip.” Brax said as he once again rubbed her stomach.

“Well we can try and if I feel like I am doing too much, I’ll stop and you can do it all yourself,” Charlie gave a grin. “Like I said, you’re not exactly lacking in the muscle department.” Charlie rubbed his arm once again.

“Okay, let’s get this started. The sooner we start, the sooner we can go back to bed.” Brax gave Charlie a grin as they walked up the stairs to make a start to Connor’s new room.

******

Charlie buttoned up her shirt, before walking over to the bedside table and picking up her watch and putting it around her wrist. Brax yawned as he turned around in the bed. “Where do you think you are going?” Brax questioned as he sat up in the bed.

“I’m going to work.” Charlie answered.

“Do you have too?” Brax gave a little pout.

“Hmm,” Charlie nodded. “Babe, I’ve taken the last 3 days off, I need to work today.”

“Well you don’t need too,” Brax answered. “You’ve managed to take the last 3 days; you can take today off too.”

“Brax, we need to go back to work today,” Charlie exhaled. “Or at least, I do. You’re off all day so you can finish Connor’s room in time for him coming later.” Charlie said as she gave a little jump of excitement.

“You’re really excited for him to come home aren’t you?” Brax asked.

“Yeah,” Charlie answered. “I’ve never been away from him for longer than a night before so this has been killing me.”

“Well it’s a good job I’ve kept you occupied, eh?” Brax grinned. “These last few days have been amazing.”

“Only because if we weren’t doing Connor’s new room we’ve never really left the bedroom.” Charlie laughed.

“Well it’s been great,” Brax smiled. “Some great quality time before Connor gets home and Pip arrives.”

“Yeah,” Charlie smiled as she leaned forward into the bed and placed a soft kiss on Brax’s lips. “See you later.”

“Bye baby, enjoy work and be safe.” Brax worried about Charlie going out policing these days. Well he always worried about her, but now she was carrying his child, he was even more worried for the two of them.

“We’ll be fine,” Charlie answered. “Get something nice in for our dinner tonight,” Charlie exhaled. “Maybe you could make your chicken lasagne; it’s one of Connor’s favourites.” Charlie smiled and Brax gave a little nod before Charlie walked off out of the room to leave for work.

******

Charlie exhaled as she looked to her watch. She only had an hour of her shift to go then it wouldn’t be long until she saw Connor. She ran her and over her stomach as she felt little flutters, before trying to finish the paper work. Having missed 3 days of work, she had a lot to catch up on. “Sarg,” Georgie ran into the room. “There’s been a road accident about 20 minutes out of the Bay.”

“I’m coming,” Charlie stood up from her desk and picked up her car keys and threw them to Georgie as they made their way out of the station. “You know any stats yet?”

“Seven cars involved, no fatalities so far that I am aware of, but all of the 20 passengers seem to have some sort of injury.” Georgie answered as they got into the car and Georgie started driving out to the accident.

“Must have been some accident.” Charlie answered. She hated this part of the job, where she was likely to come across injured people, or even worse. “Seven cars.” Charlie exhaled.

“Well all it takes is one idiot,” Georgie answered. “A second to be distracted even and chaos can ensue.”

“True,” Charlie nodded as she once again felt a fluttering in her stomach as Georgie continued to drive to the site of the crash. “Oh wow,” Charlie widened her eyes as she saw the cars all crushed together, the fire department and paramedics helping people out of the cars. “Right, get the road blocks out and I’ll go talk to the fireman and medics, see if I can find anything else out.”

“Yes Sarg.” Georgie nodded as she opened the boot of the car and began to get the road blocks out. Charlie walked over to the men.

“Officer.” One of the firemen spoke. Just as he was about to talk again, it was then Charlie noticed the red car in the middle of the pile-up, and saw the little fair haired boy being carefully pulled from the car by the paramedics.

“Connor.” Charlie yelled out to her son and tried to run under the tape to the boy.

“Officer, please wait, it’s not safe.” The fireman tried to hold her back, but Charlie fought him off, a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“That’s my son,” Charlie shouted as she ran passed him and under the tape and over to the car. “Connor baby, it’s mummy.” Charlie said, panic and worry washing over her.

“Please don’t touch him miss,” The paramedic said as he put his hand out to her. “Let us get him onto the stretcher safely.”

“But he’s okay?” Charlie questioned. “He’s going to be okay?” Charlie put her hand on her chest as she felt her heart beating faster and faster.

“He’s not conscious, but he has a pulse,” The paramedic answered. “We’re going to get him to the hospital as quick as we can.” The man said as they put the stretcher into the back of the ambulance.

“Oh God,” Charlie felt her heart beating faster and faster. “Can I go with him? I’m his mother.”

“Sure.” The medic nodded.

“What about Angelo? His dad, is he.....where is he?” Charlie asked in a panicked toned.

The medics exchanged a glance with each other before looking back to Charlie. “He’s already on his way to the hospital.”

“But he’s okay?” Charlie asked.

“He had a pulse,” The medic answered. “Now we really need to get him to the hospital.” Charlie turned to see Georgie was behind her, noticing Connor and coming over to see if everything was okay.

“I’ll call for back up,” Georgie answered. “Just go with him.” Charlie gave her a thankful smile before jumping into the back of the ambulance and looking down at her son, taking his little hand into hers. He looked peaceful, Charlie noted.

“Connor sweetie, you’ve got to wake up for mummy, okay?” Charlie sniffed back a tear as the ambulance began to drive towards the hospital. She ran her hand gently over his forehead, his face showing a few little scrapes and bruises. Charlie sniffed back once again as she felt the baby moving, the flutters growing stronger and almost feeling like proper kicks now. She ran her hand over her stomach as she hoped and prayed that her little boy was going to be okay.

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments.

Chapter 116

Charlie was sitting in the hospital room, holding onto her son’s hand. The tears were rolling down her cheeks as she thought about what she needed to tell him when he woke up. If he woke up. “How am I supposed to tell him?” Charlie sniffed back as she looked to Brax briefly before looking back to her son. “He’s only 5,” Charlie said. “I’ve already had to tell him that his baby sister went to heaven, how am I supposed to tell him his daddy has gone too?” Brax saw a tear roll down Charlie’s cheek.

“I can tell him, if you want.” Brax stepped forward and put his hands onto Charlie’s shoulders. Angelo died of his injuries on the way to the hospital. “Anything to make this easier on you.”

“No it needs to come from me,” Charlie lightly rubbed her son’s forehead. “If he wakes up,” Charlie brought her head forward and rested it against her son’s body. Apart from being unconscious, Connor had showed no signs of internal bleeding, no bleeding on the brain, or no broken bones and Sid had told Charlie it was just a case of waiting until he woke up. “What if he doesn’t wake up Brax?” Charlie mumbled. “I can’t lose him too, I can’t.” Charlie felt more tears rolling down her cheeks as she looked up to her boyfriend.

“He’s a strong little kid,” Brax tried his best to sound positive for Charlie’s sake. Of course he didn’t know what was going to happen to Connor, but he had to hope. He knew how much losing him would devastate Charlie, and for him too, he didn’t want to lose the boy he’d grew to love like he was his own flesh and blood. “He’ll pull through.”

“Losing Lily was the hardest thing I’ve had to go through. I’ve got this hole in my heart, this unfillable void and it can’t be made bigger,” Charlie shook her head as more tears fell down her cheeks. “I can’t Brax, please, please don’t let me lose him. I couldn’t go on if I lost him too.” Charlie broke down into tears as Brax held her in his arms so she didn’t fall from the chair in which she was sitting.

Brax exhaled as he felt Charlie’s tears soaking into his shirt. He knew how much she was already hurting every day without having Lily in her life; he couldn’t begin to imagine what would be left of the woman he loved if Connor died too. “Like I said, he’s a strong little thing,” Brax rubbed the back of her head softly. “He’ll pull through and we’ll be a family. Me, you, Connor, Pip and Rubes and Romeo too. The six of us, yeah?”

“Mmm,” Charlie pulled back from Brax as she gave a little nod. “Did you get in touch with Rubes?”

“Not yet,” Brax shook his head. “I think it was pretty early morning there when I tried calling though. Do you want me to try again now?” Brax lightly rubbed her arm as he spoke.

“No,” Charlie shook her head. “Eh, just wait until Connor wakes. I eh....I don’t want to bring her home for nothing.”

“Sure,” Brax nodded. “Whatever you want. How about we go get something to eat? Maybe you could even have a little nap.”

“Nap?” Charlie questioned. “You want me to nap when my son is unconscious?”

“I just thought it would help keep your stress levels down,” Brax answered. “It’s not good to get stressed for the baby. And you need to eat to keep your strength up for the baby too.”

“I don’t care about the damn baby,” Charlie raised her voice as she glared at Brax. How do you think I could care about anything else other than Connor right now?” Charlie yelled. “Look at him,” Charlie pointed to her son who was lying so peacefully in the bed. “He is all I care about,” Charlie shouted as Brax looked to Connor, the cuts and bruises marking his usual cute face. “Not this baby,” Charlie hit her hand off her stomach. “I don’t care about this baby. He is my baby and he is who I care about.” Charlie yelled. Brax looked to Charlie, shocked at her outburst. Of course Connor was going to be a priority right now over her unborn child but the fact she’d just said she didn’t care about this baby, really upset him. He thought she was making progress with her feelings for the baby, or had it all been a lie, just to keep Brax happy.

“Right,” Brax nodded lightly. “Well I’ll leave you to your baby.” Brax said before he left the room, slamming the door shut on the way out.

******

Charlie was still sitting by her son’s bedside. It had been 6 hours since he’d been brought in. “C’mon Connor. You’ve had your little rest; it’s time to wake up now. Hmm, I’ve read you some stories you love and told you what happened in your cartoons today. So now it’s time for you to wake up for mummy,” Charlie lightly rubbed her sons forehead as he squeezed his hand with her other hand. It was then she saw his eyes flutter. “Sid,” Charlie ran to the room door and shouted down the corridor. “Sid, Dr Walker, any doctor,” Charlie ran back into the room as she heard a moan coming from Connor as he tried to pull the breathing tube from his mouth. “Leave that sweetie,” Charlie moved her son’s hands from his face. “That’s just to help you breath. Sid will come and move that for you.”

“Hey Connor,” Sid walked into the room. “Now, I need you to take a deep breath for me, okay, can you do that?” Connor moved his eyes so he was looking up at his mother.

“It’s okay,” Charlie nodded. “Listen to Sid.”

Connor took a deep breath as Sid pulled the tube from his mouth. Connor coughed as it left his mouth. “It hurted.” Connor’s voice was raspy as he sounded like he was going to cry.

“It’s okay now bud,” Charlie rubbed his head. “Here, have a drink,” Charlie picked up the jug of water from the bedside table and poured him a glass before handing it to him. Connor drank some of the water before putting the glass back on the bedside table, before holding his arms out to Charlie. Charlie pulled her son into a hug, lifting him from the bed so he sitting on her knee. “Aww bud you scared mummy so much.”

“I have a sore head.” Connor answered.

“That will go away soon bud,” Sid answered as he watched the boy in the embrace with his mother, hearing Charlie breath out a sigh of relief. “Can I just give you a little look over?”

Connor looked up to Sid and gave a little nod. “I stay on mummy’s knee?”

“Sure you can,” Sid smile down at him as he pulled his little torch from his pocket and shone it in his eyes. “Can you tell me when your birthday is?” Sid asked.

“The 5^th of February,” Connor answered. “I’ll be six then.”

“Six,” Sid widened his eyes. “You’re getting old mate.”

“No really,” Connor shook his head. “I’m going to stay young forever ay mummy?”

“Sure baby.” Charlie smiled as she ran her hands through his hair. She was so relieved that he’d woken up. She couldn’t bear to lose him.

“Right I see,” Sid gave Charlie a little smile. “And do you know what year is it?”

“We just had a party at grandmas,” Connor answered. “2013 now.”

“That’s right,” Sid nodded. “And do you remember what happened for you to end up in here?”

“The cars all crashed together.” Connor answered.

“Yeah, good boy,” Sid smiled at him. “Well he seems fine to me. That sore head should be away by morning and I’d like to keep him in a couple of days in case we’ve missed any internal injuries.”

“Okay, that’s fine.” Charlie answered as she held tightly onto her son as he put his hands onto her arm.

“Well I’ll leave you to it.” Sid said as he gave Charlie an encouraging smile before leaving the room. Charlie took a deep breath and went to tell her son about Angelo but he spoke over her.

“Mummy isn’t Darryl here to see me?” Connor asked.

“Eh,” Charlie bit her lip. She knew she’d need to explain things to Brax now. She couldn’t keep it in any longer. She’d need to tell him. “He went home to get some of your favourite things.” Charlie told her son.

“Really?” Connor smiled. “All my favourite things?”

“Well let’s see, I sent him to get Darryl the Lion, your blue soccer pyjama’s and uhm, your Nintendo DS, maybe some haribo too if you lucky.” Charlie said as she hit her sons little nose. Feeling that telling him Brax was away to get things for him was better than telling him he stormed out after a fight.

“Haribo?” Connor’s eyes lit up. “Really, you think Darryl will get me them?”

“Yeah, of course.” Charlie answered.

“Good,” Connor smiled. “Is daddy going to come see me now too?” Connor asked. “He didn’t get to hurted in the crash did he?”

Charlie took another deep breath for what she needed to tell her son. “Listen sweetie, mummy has something that she needs to tell you okay?” Charlie questioned as she felt herself welling up with tears. Connor nodded lightly as she looked to his mother.

“What is it mummy?” Connor asked. “Is the baby okay?” Connor put his hand onto her stomach.

“Yeah the baby is fine sweetie, it’s eh...” Charlie pursed her lips together as she tried to keep it together to tell her son that he wouldn’t be able to see his daddy again.

[Danni02]

Thank you for the comments. Hope you like this one.....

Chapter 117

Charlie walked into the house and exhaled as she closed the door and leaned herself against it for a moment, taking a minute to compose herself from the goings on of the day. “Has he woken up?” Charlie heard Brax’s hopeful voice as she turned around and saw him standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Charlie nodded lightly as she walked further into the house and sat down on the couch. Brax breathed a sigh of relief as he walked over and sat down next to Charlie. “That’s great. Did you tell him about Ang -”

“Mmm,” Charlie answered. “Lily’s death and funeral aside, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. He was devastated Brax. He didn’t want him to be in heaven. He still wants to be able to see him and there’s nothing I can do to help him.”

“Hey, of course there is,” Brax put his hand around Charlie and rubbed her back gently. “You’re his mother. If anyone is going to help him through this it’s you.”

“I had to hold him in my arms and listen to him cry himself to sleep,” Charlie sniffed back as she wiped a tear from her cheek. “It’s not fair Brax, he’s only 5 and he’s already experienced the loss of his sister and his father.”

“I know,” Brax spoke softly as he placed a kiss on the top of Charlie’s head. “But we’ll get him through this. He’ll be okay because he has us, and more importantly, you.”

“We can’t let him forget,” Charlie shook her head. “We have to make sure he’s going to remember Angelo.”

“We will,” Brax nodded. “He remembers Lily doesn’t he?” Brax questioned and Charlie gave a little squeak as an answer. “And he was younger when she passed on, so he’ll remember his dad too. We’ll never let him forget,” Brax said and Charlie gave a little nod. “And you know, he has the new baby coming so that’s something he can look forward to,” Brax said. “At least he’s excited about Pip coming even if Pip’s own mother isn’t.” Brax exhaled and Charlie picked up on the sadness in his voice.

“Brax I....” Charlie trailed off as she looked up and could see the hurt in his eyes. “I didn’t mean that. I was just so worried about Connor and I do care. Of course I care, at least....I’m trying, Brax, I really am trying but I am so scared.”

“Scared?” Brax questioned. “What do you have to be scared about? It’s not like this is your first baby. You know what’s coming. Or is that why you’re scared? You know all the stuff we need to expect and know it isn’t always easy?” Brax gave a little laugh.

Charlie pursed her lips together. “Not quiet,” Charlie took a deep breath. “I am terrified that....that we....that this baby is going to die too.” Charlie let a tear escape her eye.

“Oh Charlie -” Brax exhaled lightly as he wiped the tear from her cheek. He never even thought about that being a reason to why she might have been struggling with the idea of a new baby.

“I don’t want to have to go through the pain and hurt of losing another child,” Charlie cried. “And I don’t want to have to watch you go through that to because it’s horrible, Brax, it is, it’s the worst thing you can imagine and it destroyed me and Angelo and I don’t want it to destroy us too.” Charlie let the tears roll down her cheek, both tears from the memories of losing Lily and of finally opening up to Brax about why she couldn’t let herself get excited for this pregnancy.

“That won’t happen to you again,” Brax shook his head as he wiped tears from her cheeks. “Don’t be scared to love this baby or be excited. It’s okay. This baby isn’t going to die.”

“We don’t know that,” Charlie shook her head. “We didn’t think Lily would die but she did so it could happen again. It could and I’m terrified to love this baby and bond and get attached only for us to lose him too.”

“Babe the odds of that happening are so little. We have much more chance that this baby is going to be fine,” Brax exhaled as he spoke softly, knowing it was a touchy subject. “Don’t be scared. I know it must be hard for you, but just let yourself be happy. Let yourself love this child.”

“The odds have gone that way once,” Charlie sniffed back. “And the odds of me getting pregnant when we were on two types of contraception was tiny too, but it happen, so what’s to say it’s not going to happen again?”

“You can’t live your life in fear babe,” Brax lightly rubbed her cheek. “I know it happened to you once, but, the chances of it happening to you twice are so low and -”

“It can though,” Charlie sniffed back. “A lady that goes to the bereavement group, she lost a son 8 years ago then went on to have 2 healthy daughters and then last year she had another son and he died too.” Charlie looked away from Brax as the tears continued to flow from her eyes. “That’s one family with two SIDS deaths so it could happen twice to me too.”

Brax exhaled. “Well just because it happened to her it doesn’t mean it will happen to you,” Brax rubbed Charlie’s back. “Charlie the odds are so low, please try not to worry. Let yourself be happy and celebrate this,” Brax put his hand onto Charlie’s little bump. “Charlie this is your baby, don’t think about what happened in the past because it will only stop you from moving on and allowing yourself to love this child because of the constant worry,” Brax paused briefly as he once again rubbed her cheek, glad she’d eventually opened up to him about her fears, but worried that he wasn’t going to be able to say enough to lessen them for her. “I know it will be hard but please try not to worry because chances are that this baby is going to fine and healthy and we’ll grow old with our child in our lives.”

Charlie cleared her throat as she wiped her face. “I’ve tried to think like that, I really have. You know I have, Brax, I’ve gone shopping with you, we got the pram, the clothes, I thought that once I felt the baby move it might be different but if anything it’s worse. I can feel this life inside me becoming more and more a real little person and to think that that doesn’t guarantee I am going to get to see this child grow up....I....” Charlie trailed off. Brax exhaled lightly. He’d gotten Charlie totally wrong. All the times he thought she didn’t care. She did. She cared so much for this child. It was just her past circumstances that were getting in the way of allowing her to enjoy this pregnancy. The constant worry must have been weighing heavily on her mind and Brax felt most annoyed with himself for not picking up on this.

“I’m sorry,” Brax said quietly. “I wish you felt you could have talked to me about this sooner.” Brax sighed, feeling saddened that Charlie felt she had to hold back and couldn’t talk him about it.

“I didn’t want to make this a bad thing for you,” Charlie answered. “You’re so happy about this and I don’t want to put worries on your mind,” Charlie sniffed back. “This should be a happy time for you.”

“And it should be for you too,” Brax tucked her hair behind her ear. “So anymore worries and you talk to me, okay?” Brax gave her a light smile. “We’re in this together and I’ll help you through this Charlie. I’ll help you see it’s okay to feel happy and love this little Pip,” Brax lightly rubbed her stomach. “I know it’ll be hard but we need to try not to worry, okay. Chances are everything will be fine.” Charlie gave a light nod.

“I want to try, I do. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.” Charlie shook her head lightly as she wiped her hand across her face. Brax smiled lightly as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

“It’s okay,” Brax whispered. “I know you’ll be fine in the end and that’s all that matters,” Brax pulled Charlie into a hug and rubbed her back lightly. “And,” Brax took a deep breath, knowing he needed to ask her. “If you want to talk about what happened to Angelo.....I mean....I know that he was important to you, that he was special. He helped you through so much after Ruby’s father and what he did and....he’s the father of your kids. It would be okay if you were upset.”

“Would it be okay for me to talk to you about that or cry for him in front of you?” Charlie questioned. “He was my ex and you’re my new partner.”

“I know, but I know that Angelo will always hold a special place in your heart,” Brax kept a hold of Charlie as he knew she wanted to cry for Angelo. “You can grieve for him in front of me. You can always count on me for support.” Charlie looked into Brax’s eyes and smiled lightly. She felt lucky to have him. He was always supportive and understanding, even when she felt she didn’t deserve it.

“I just....I can’t believe I’m not going to see him ever again.” Charlie said before she burst into tears, Brax holding her in his arms as she cried.

[Danni02]

Thank you for the comments.

Chapter 118

“Okay, see you soon.” Charlie hung up the phone and placed it down on the worktop as she leaned her hands against it and took a deep breath.

“Everything alright?” Brax walked into the kitchen and lightly rubbed her back.

“Mmm,” Charlie pushed the tears back from her eyes as she looked up to him. “It was eh...Angelo’s brother. We were just talking about the funeral arrangements.”

“I see,” Brax spoke quietly. “Are they coming across here?”

“No,” Charlie shook her head. “They want to bury him in Melbourne at their family plot. You know so he’s with his grandparents and uncle,” Charlie said. “The rest of the Rosetta family.”

“Makes sense,” Brax answered. “Are you alright with that?”

“It’s not up to me,” Charlie answered. “It’s up to his family.”

“So, you’ll be going to Melbourne then,” Brax lightly rubbed Charlie’s arm. “I guess you’ll be alright to take the body over. His mum or dad won’t need to come -”

Charlie shook her head. “It’s fine to go with me,” Charlie answered. “I don’t really want to be there but I guess I need to go, right?”

“I think so,” Brax nodded. “For Angelo, his parents, his family, for Connor. You were a big part of his life and he was always going to be in your life because of Connor. I know he was special to you and its okay if you do want to be there. You don’t have to say you don’t just for my sake.”

“I hate funerals,” Charlie spoke quietly. “Well you know the last funeral I was at was....” Charlie trailed off. “I don’t want to take Connor,” Charlie pursed her lips together. “He’s so young. I want to give him a different way to say goodbye,” Charlie said. “But Angelo’s parents insist that I bring him and I can’t upset them right now, they’ve just lost their son.”

“If it’s too much for him you can leave and do it your own way,” Brax said softly. “I know they’ve just lost their son, but he was special to you and he was Connor’s father. They’re not the only people hurting,” Charlie smiled lightly up at Brax. She loved how he always knew what to say to make her feel better. “And you know I’ll be right there beside you. Supporting you all the way.”

“Yeah about that,” Charlie lightly rubbed the back of her head. “Eh...Roberto doesn’t want you around and I can’t make him, it’s his son’s funeral and I -”

Brax pursed his lips together, slightly saddened that he couldn’t be there for Charlie and Connor, but he understood this wasn’t Charlie’s doing and he had to respect Angelo’s family’s wishes. “It’s okay,” Brax answered. “I understand.” Charlie once again smiled.

“You’re amazing, Brax,” Charlie said. “You have to put up with so much right now and I just want you to know that I really am grateful and that I love you. You know I love you, right?”

“Of course,” Brax smiled. “I love you too,” Brax pulled Charlie into a hug as he rubbed her back. “Now, how about I make us some breakfast and then we can go to the hospital to see Connor?”

“Yeah,” Charlie nodded. “Did eh, did you get in touch with Ruby?”

“I did,” Brax nodded. “She wanted to come home at first, but I assured her that Connor was fine and that you’d want her to enjoy the rest of her time away, so they’re staying and she’s going to phone you later on today.”

“Good, thanks,” Charlie smiled as she leaned up and placed a soft kiss on his lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her small bump against his stomach. “You’re amazing.”

“Well thank you,” Brax gave her a cheeky smile. “You’re alright, yourself.” Brax said and Charlie laughed lightly before placing another kiss on his lips.

******

Connor took a drink of the juice before putting the juice box on the bedside table. He looked down to the bag that was on the bed to see his pyjamas, Nintendo DS, Darryl the Lion and a pack of haribo. All his favourites, and just what Charlie said Brax would pack for him. Charlie smiled at her son as she ran her hand over the back of his head. “Alright?” Connor gave a little squeak as an answer. “Sid said you might be allowed to come home today,” Charlie smiled glad that her son would possibly be allowed to come home. She hated being apart from him. “That would be nice, wouldn’t it?” Charlie questioned and Connor gave a little shrug. “We could watch Madagascar and you could even have a can of pop,” Charlie lightly nudged his arm as he gave a little smile. “Maybe a second bag of haribo too.” Charlie raised her eyebrows lightly as she smiled at her son. She understood why he was quieter than usual, what with the accident and Angelo dying, so didn’t get too worried about his reluctance to talk just yet.

“Mummy is it the 5^th yet?” Connor questioned as he stared up at her.

“Yeah, it’s the fifth today,” Charlie nodded. “Why?”

“We were supposed to get Zak today.” Connor spoke quietly as he pulled Darryl the Lion closer to him.

“Oh, of course.” Charlie exhaled. She totally forgot about that. Zak, the dog that he was supposed to get from Angelo.

“Does daddy being in heaven mean I won’t see Zak now?” Connor sounded like he was going to cry. “He’s my puppy.” Charlie exhaled lightly. Did she want a dog? No? A dog was the last thing she needed right now, especially with the baby coming. That was the whole reason the dog was going to be staying with Angelo in the first place. It meant Connor got his dog, but Charlie got her wish of not having a dog around her house, for now at least. But she couldn’t break her son’s heart even more than it already was. He’d just lost his dad; there was no way she could be so cruel as to take his puppy from him too.

“Well,” Charlie smiled lightly as she rubbed her son’s cheek. “We’ll send Brax to get the dog and he’ll be home for when you get home,” Charlie said. “How about that?”

“Yeah,” Connor smiled excitedly. “I’d like that. And mummy, daddy had stuff in his house. Like a bed and toys and bowls and things, he’s does. He has all of them mummy.”

“Okay, I’ll get Brax to go and get them alright.” Charlie ran her hand over Connor’s head as he gave a little nod as the door opened and Brax walked into the room with a white box in his hand. Charlie gave him a smile as he walked across to the bed.

“Hey, buddy, you alright?” Brax questioned. Connor looked up to him before looking back to his mother.

“Ask him now mummy.” Connor said.

“You can ask him.” Charlie said.

“Mummy,” Connor sighed. “You.”

Charlie sighed lightly before looking to Brax. “Eh, the puppy. Can you pick up the puppy?”

“And his things mummy.” Connor whispered.

“And his things from Angelo’s place,” Charlie said. “The key to his apartment is hanging up in the kitchen.”

“We’re getting the dog?” Brax questioned.

Charlie nodded lightly. “Yep,” Charlie answered. “We’re getting a dog.”

“That’s cool,” Brax gave Connor a smile. “You excited to come home to him then eh?”

Connor gave a little nod before looking back to Charlie. “Remember him it’s the one with the blue collar and his name is Zak.” Connor said.

“I got that,” Brax gave him a smile. “See you later.” Brax put the box down on the bedside table and left the room to go get Zak for Connor.

“What’s in the box mummy?” Connor questioned.

Charlie exhaled lightly as she opened it up. “Brax went to the diner for you to get you some of the Chocolate cake that you love so much. You’ll have to thank him for that, won’t you?” Charlie said.

“Later though.” Connor answered. “Can I eat the cake now?”

“Sure,” Charlie answered. “But you have to share with mummy.” Charlie said as she put the box down on the bed and the two of them tucked in to the cake, not even bothering to use the little plastic forks that Brax had put in the side of the box.

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments.

Chapter 119

Charlie cuddled into Brax on the couch. “I wish Connor could have come home today,” Charlie sighed. “Sid got our hopes up for nothing.”

“I know but they just want to make sure that he is okay before letting him home,” Brax answered. “Maybe tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Charlie ran her hand over his chest. “He’ll be stoked to see Zak when he gets home.” Charlie smiled as she looked to the corner of the room where the puppy was fast asleep, tucked into a little ball.

“Yeah well at least someone will be eh,” Brax laughed as he rubbed Charlie’s arm. “You don’t look impressed with him.”

“Eugh,” Charlie scrunched her face up. “I’ll get used to him.”

“He’s a cute little puppy, how can you not just look at him and love him?” Brax questioned.

“Like I say, one day I will,” Charlie answered. “But he’s going to make Connor happy and his happiness is the most important, so, I’ll learn to put up with him,” Charlie said. “Besides, I won’t be the one toilet training him, right?” Charlie gave him a hopeful grin.

“Uhm,” Brax widened his eyes. “You’ve toilet trained kids before, I haven’t.”

“Did you just compare toilet training my son to a dog?” Charlie questioned. “They’re completely different.”

“Well not really, if you think about.” Brax said. “You have to teach them when to go and when not to. Basically it’s the same.”

“Well maybe, if you....” Charlie trailed off as she shook her head. “You do the dog, I’ll do the baby.” Charlie answered as she lightly patted her stomach and Brax gave a little laugh.

“How about you do the dog and the baby,” Brax gave a cheeky grin. “Mummy is best at that sort of thing.”

“Ha, you are not getting out of helping me with that,” Charlie said. “And I mean with both the baby and the pup. I guess he could be a good guard dog. That’s a positive about having him around eh.”

“You don’t need a guard dog babe,” Brax said. “You’ve got me to keep you safe.”

“Yeah I do,” Charlie smiled as she cuddled closer into Brax. He smiled lightly as he placed a soft kiss on her head before placing his hand on her little bump. “Brax I....” Charlie pursed her lips together as she looked up to him and Brax saw the fear in her eyes.

“What is it?” Brax spoke softly as he ran his hand over her forehead.

“Ehm, you know the bereavement group that I go to?” Charlie questioned and Brax gave a little nod. “Well eh, Wendy, the bereavement counsellor that’s there....when she found out I was pregnant she eh....” Charlie took a deep breath and Brax saw she needed a minute to compose herself. “She offered me private sessions. Said that she understands it would be a hard time for me and I eh......” Charlie pursed her lips together. “At first I thought what was the point; she’s not going to be able to say anything. You know I thought it was something that I just need to work through myself but.....maybe, maybe I should just talk to her.”

“Yeah, I think that would be good,” Brax gave a little smile. “You should definitely do that.” Brax smiled knowing that Charlie wanted to help herself made him feel positive about her progress in her feelings for the baby.

Charlie gave him a weak smile. “Will eh.....will you come too?” Charlie questioned. “It would probably help if you were there. Help you be able to help me and help me be open with you too. And you could be there to just.....to hold my hand,” Charlie bowed her head down as she spoke. “You know for that bit of extra support when I have to open up about everything.”

“Of course,” Brax put his hand on her chin and gently pushed her head up to face him again. “I’d love to go with you.”

Charlie smiled lightly. “I eh.....I think I’ll wait until after all this stuff with Angelo, you know, till after the funeral, but I’ll call her and arrange a time to meet with her.”

“Sure,” Brax nodded. “You just tell me when and I’ll make sure I’m off work.”

“Thanks.” Charlie smiled as she rested her head back against his chest. Brax smiled as he placed a soft kiss on her head before they snuggled up on the couch to watch some TV together.

******

The next day, and Connor was now allowed home. Charlie had been given two weeks off from work given Angelo’s death and with Connor not having to start school for another couple of weeks yet, she was happy to be able to spend as much time as she could with her son given what had happened. Charlie and Brax walked with Connor out of the hospital towards Charlie’s car. “So buddy, I bet you’re glad to be getting home eh?” Brax smiled down at the little boy who was holding his mother’s hand very tightly.

“Connor, Brax is talking to you,” Charlie spoke after a while of silence. Connor bowed his head down and stopped walking. Charlie exchanged a glance with Brax before bending down to her son’s level. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want too.” Connor answered.

“You don’t want to what?” Charlie questioned.

“The car,” Connor pointed to Charlie’s blue car. “They all crashed.”

“Aww sweetie,” Charlie rubbed her son’s arms. “We’ll be very careful, okay. We won’t crash the car.”

“You might,” Connor replied. “Daddy’s car crashed and now he is in heaven and I can’t see him,” Charlie saw Connors eye water as his little nose flare. That always happened before he cried. “You can’t go to heaven too,” Connor said as a tear rolled down his cheek. “Then no one would be with me.”

“Aww buddy,” Charlie pulled her son into her arms gently rubbing his back. “Mummy’s not going anywhere for a long time.”

“Promise?” Connor questioned.

“Mmm,” Charlie knew it was wrong to promise Connor this. She didn’t know when her time would come but she couldn’t stand to see her son upset and needed to make him feel better. “But I promise we’ll be okay in the car, I’ll drive slow and safe.”

“No mummy you sit in the back with me and hold my hand.” Connor sniffed back more tears as he spoke to his mother.

“Okay, I can do that.” Charlie smiled lightly at her son as she handed her car keys up to Brax. She didn’t want to make a habit out of this but it was his first time in a car since the accident and she wanted to get him home. She stood back up to her feet and walked the rest of the way to her car. They got in and Brax turned and looked at Connor for a while, never seeing the little boy look so terrified before.

“I’ll be safe okay.” Brax gave him a smile before turning back to look out the windscreen and slowly pulled out of the car park and made his way home.

“There’s a car coming.” Connor squeezed onto Charlie’s hand tightly.

“It’s alright,” Charlie spoke softly to her son. “It’s on the other side of the road. You don’t need to be worried.”

Connor relaxed slightly as the car went passed them with no problems. “Phew,” Connor exhaled. “Oh mummy did you get me Zak?”

“Yeah we got him,” Charlie smiled down at her son. “He can’t wait to see you.”

“I can’t wait to see him,” Connor grinned. “Darryl got the right one, didn’t he?”

“Of course I did bud,” Brax answered the boy. “Zak, in the blue collar. He’s a lovely little guy.”

Connor smiled at what Brax said. “I wish daddy could be here to see him,” Connor sighed. “Why did he go to heaven mummy?” Connor looked to his mother, waiting for an answer.

Charlie exhaled, not knowing how to answer her son. “It was just a bad accident and daddy didn’t want to go, but, sometimes it’s not up to you. You just have to go.”

“Like Lily did,” Connor bowed his head down sadly. “She wouldn’t want to go ay no?”

“No, she didn’t.” Charlie rubbed her sons head.

“Will daddy be looking after Lily now?” Connor questioned. “They are both in heaven together.”

Charlie took a deep breath as she felt herself wanting to shed a tear at her son’s questions. “I’m sure he will be.” Charlie answered.

“And you get to stay to look after me?” Connor asked.

“That’s right.” Charlie smiled lightly.

“Me and you together forever?” Connor said.

“Yep, you’re stuck with me for life bud.” Charlie smiled lightly as Brax pulled the car up into the driveway. Connor smiled at his mother before they got out of the car and walked up to the house. Brax opened the door and Connor ran in as Zak jumped excitedly over to him, his tail wagging as he yelped in excitement as Connor clapped him. Charlie and Brax stood back, Brax wrapping his arm around her as he looked down to her and gave her a smile.

“You alright?” Brax moved her hair from in front of her face.

“Yeah.” Charlie smiled as she rested her head against his chest before they looked back to Connor, who was, for now, happy playing with his puppy.

[Danni02]

Thank you for the comments. I am feeling a little lost again. I know what I want to happen but kinda feel lost at getting there right now so appologies as I don't think this is that good.

Chapter 120

“Wow,” Connor widened his eyes as he looked around the room. The walls were blue, his favourite colour, there was one wall with some soccer balls on it; one of them like they were flying into the net passed the keeper. There was lots of new lego in one corner of the room and his scalextrics he’d gotten from Brax for his Christmas were set up in another corner. All his toys, books, teddies, and games were neatly stacked in units on the walls although Charlie knew that soon they would be lying about everywhere. “Did you do all this mummy?” Connor asked sounding amazed.

“Brax did most of it,” Charlie answered. “Turns out he is quite the little artist.” Charlie gave him a cheeky smile.

“Wow thank you so much Darryl.” Connor smiled.

“You’re welcome squirt,” Brax smiled. It was the first time Connor had spoke to him since the accident. He and Charlie didn’t want to push it; they knew he’d open up to Brax again when he was ready. It must be hard him losing his father and having another man always around, trying to be there for him, so Brax stayed back and let Connor deal with it how he wanted. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I don’t like it,” Connor shook his head as he ran over to the scalextrics. “I love it.”

“Well we’ve very pleased about that.” Charlie smiled.

“Yeah but why am I in Ruby’s and Lily’s room?” Connor questioned. “Not the one I used to have.”

“Well,” Charlie exhaled, not going to get into the real reason she’d swapped rooms. “We just thought we’d have a bit of a change,” Charlie answered. “You get this room and we are going to turn your old room into a nursery.”

“For Pip?” Connor questioned.

“Yes of course for Pip.” Charlie answered.

“Can me and Darryl do it?” Connor asked. “No you,” Connor shook his head. “We can make it a surprise for you and the baby.”

Charlie ran her hand over her stomach lightly. If she was being honest, she thought that decorating the nursery would be something that would help her feel better about having the baby. She pursed her lips together as she saw Brax giving her a questioning look. “We’ll see. Mummy might enjoy helping with the nursery. It will help us all be ready and excited for the baby.” Charlie said and Brax gave her a little smile of understanding.

“Maybe we could let mummy pick out the colours and more clothes and the furniture, curtains, the mobile, a few teddies, stuff like that,” Brax suggested as he looked from Charlie to Connor. “You know, the stressful shopping trip,” Brax gave a little laugh. “Then me and you can have all the fun painting the room.”

“And choosing where we put the things,” Connor said as he looked up at Brax. “That’s my job.” Connor said as he hit his index finger against his chest.

“That sounds good to me,” Charlie smiled as she moved closer to Brax and wrapped her arm around his chest as she gave him a thankful smile that he was able to come up with a solution to please everyone. “Thank you.” Charlie whispered before placing a kiss on Brax’s cheek.

“Darryl can we play scalextrics now?” Connor questioned.

“Sure bud,” Brax smiled down at the boy. Of course he was going to have his moments, but today, so far, he was coping okay with Angelo’s death, despite a few hard questions for Charlie in the car. “I’m ace at this, so be prepared to lose.”

“No,” Connor shook his head. “I’m the best.”

“I’ll go fix you boys some snacks,” Charlie smile as the boys teased each other over who would win, before she left the room and walked down the stairs into the kitchen. The puppy immediately ran in and started to lick at her feet. “Zak, stop licking me,” Charlie scrunched her face up as she moved her foot away from the puppy. The dog looked up at her and made a little noise before laying down so his head was resting on Charlie’s foot as she prepared drinks and a snack of biscuits and haribo for the boys. She smiled lightly as he felt his soft fur against her foot, before she lightly rubbed her stomach. “So it’s all boys in this house. Brax, Connor, Zak. Are you going to carry on that trend?” Charlie looked down to her little bump as she spoke. “I’m not sure I could deal with a daughter, so, it might be best if you were a boy. Easier for mummy to cope with your arrival and bond. Obviously you are what you are, but, I can wish right? I know daddy wants a daughter but mummy is wishing you are a boy. One of us has to be wrong I guess. I just hope it’s daddy,” Charlie sighed lightly as she looked back up to the cupboard and pulled out two glasses before taking the apple juice from the fridge as Zak continued to run around at her feet. She laughed lightly at the puppy as she poured two glasses before putting everything onto a tray to carry it up the stairs. She wasn’t sure why but since she’d told Brax about the counselling and he said he would come with her, she already felt more positive about her feelings towards the baby. She knew the main reason was because she feared SIDS would happen again and take another child from her life but hoped that the counselling would help with that so she was starting to feel more hopefully that she would be able to enjoy some of her pregnancy. Zak ran after Charlie following at her feet and she started to walk up the stairs. “Uh-uh Zak, no,” Charlie put an authoritative voice on as she looked down to the dog. “You stay down stairs,” Charlie said as she took another step but so did the dog. “No. Stay,” Charlie said and the dog looked to her saddened before he ran back to his bed and lay down in a little ball looking at her with sad puppy dog eyes. “Don’t give me those eyes either.” Charlie muttered before she walked the rest of the way up the stairs to Connor’s room to give the boys their snacks.

******

Charlie, Brax and Connor were at the airport; Charlie and Connor were about to fly out to Melbourne for the funeral and to spend a few days with Angelo’s family. “I really don’t want to go.” Charlie sighed.

“I know, but you’ll be fine,” Brax smiled as he lightly rubbed her arms in comfort. “It’s important that you both get to say goodbye.”

“I wish you were coming,” Charlie said. “I understand why you’re not wanted there, but, I’m going to need you.”

“You’ll be fine,” Brax said again. “You’ve got little squirt. You’ll look after your mother for me wont you?”

“Yeah,” Connor nodded his head. “And Pip too.”

“Good boy.” Brax ruffled his hair.

“And you make sure you look after Zak,” Connor told Brax. “Don’t forget to feed him. And he needs water too.”

“I won’t forget.” Brax gave a little laugh.

“Maybe by the time we come home you’ll have this whole toilet training thing down.” Charlie said as she gave him a cheeky grin.

“Ha, well looks like I am going to need to practice on him anyways,” Brax said. “No one else home to do it.”

“Well whatever you do, don’t cheat and put a nappy on the dog till I get home.” Charlie said and Brax gave a little laugh.

“Nice idea and funny image in my head right now.” Brax said.

“Don’t be silly mummy dogs don’t wear nappies.” Connor giggled.

“No, I was just joking bud,” Charlie laughed as she rubbed her sons head before she looked to the clock. “We should get through to departures.”

“Right,” Brax nodded. “Hey, do Carla and Roberto know you are pregnant with my child?”

“I assume Angelo would have told them,” Charlie sighed. “But if not they are about to find out.”

“Yeah. Right you give me a squeeze,” Brax lifted Connor into his arms and gave him a hug. “And remember to look after mummy for me.”

“I will.” Connor answered as Brax put him down.

“See you soon,” Brax smiled as he placed a kiss on Charlie’s lips before giving her a hug. “And if you want to call me anytime its fine,” Brax said before he gave her stomach a little rub. “Bye.” Brax placed a kiss on Charlie’s cheek.

“Bye.” Charlie smiled before she took a deep breath and took Connor’s hand and the pair walked off down the airport together to go to Melbourne.