Home Sweet Home

[Phoebe]

Thank you everybody! Your comments make it easier for me to keep writing! Again I'm sorry for the longish wait!

 

Chapter Eleven

 

 

April and Heath were sitting on the couch side by side waiting for the school bus to pull up outside. The yellow bus pulled up and April watched as students got off one by one, Darcy was the last to get off, she turned to Jett and embraced him in a hug and he kissed her cheek before running off to his house. April grabbed Heath’s hand when she heard Darcy’s key turning in the lock. Darcy walked in, looked at the two of them, and then headed towards her room. Heath stood up and held out his arm to stop her from going any further.

“Sit,” he said firmly. Darcy sighed and sat on the arm chair next to the couch and looked down at her fingers. April smiled at Heath encouragingly and Heath cleared his throat. “We’ve decided that we are going to keep your phone until next Monday and you are to go to school and come straight home afterwards until Monday also. That means no seeing Jett,” Heath continued. Darcy grimaced and took a deep breath. April didn’t like having to punish Darcy, she had suggested to Heath that they just take her phone off her but Heath was adamant that they do both. He won’t tolerate truancy.

“Alright fine, I’m sure arguing with you will just make it so I lose food privileges or something as well so I’m going to shut up,” Darcy spoke through gritted teeth. April had said similar things when she was in high school, it was to try and make whomever was giving out the punishment guilty by dramatizing the punishment, April use to think she was so clever when she did it but now that someone is saying it to her she sees how childish it really is. “Can you at least take me to see Uncle Casey? Since I didn’t get to see him this morning,” Darcy said glaring at April. April expected dirty looks from Darcy but it was a surprise to see Heath staring at her like she had offended him in some way.

“Yeah sure Darcy, give us a moment will you?” Darcy nodded and walked with her bag into her bedroom. April took a deep breath and tried to prepare herself for what was coming, Heath was always team Darcy when it came to fights between Darcy and April and he would see April not letting Darcy see Casey as unfair and unwarranted. The more she thought about it the more April realised she should have let Darcy see Casey just to make life easier, and then punish her. She kept Darcy from seeing him because Darcy was in trouble because she was trying to see him. “I can’t wrap my head around why you wouldn’t let her see him, would it have really hurt you that much to let her do something for once?” Heath spat out. April gritted her teeth, Heath was the one that stopped Darcy from doing the things she wanted to do, not April. April was the one that always had to talk Heath into saying yes to the sleepover or the day out with a friend, April even suggested Darcy do more things of a weekend but Heath shut her down.

“She did the wrong thing! I couldn’t have a go at her and then let her do the thing that I just yelled at her for, that would be contradicting myself Heath. By the way, I never say no to that child, you’re the one that never lets her do anything! I don’t think I did anything wrong,” April yelled. April could see Heath clenching his fists at his side and she could also tell that he was taking deep breaths. April appreciated that he was trying to calm himself down but it was really too late for that now because April was angry and April hadn’t found a way to calm herself properly yet.

“I don’t think you completely understand why she did it, I do. She did it because the last time someone she loved and cared about was in hospital they died April, sometimes I think you forget that Darcy lost someone too. Harley was her baby brother and Bianca, god Bianca was the closest thing Darcy had to a mother since Tegan died. Darcy is going through exactly what we’re going through except she’s fifteen and that makes it ten times worse April. Remember that next time you plan on keeping her from seeing someone in hospital, because even though she doesn’t show it she would be hurting just as much maybe even more than we are and I know you would hate it if what you did to Darcy happened to you,” Heath said as calmly as he could. April’s heart sank, truthfully sometimes she did forget that Darcy had lost so many people. Over the course of just a few years Darcy had lost her mother, step mother and two baby brothers and if you didn’t know any better you wouldn’t have guessed that she had been through so much pain. Stray tears escaped April’s eyes and she wiped them away quickly so Heath wouldn’t see them.

“You’re right, I forget sometimes and that’s horrible and I shouldn’t ignore someone’s pain because I’m in pain too especially Darcy’s pain. It didn’t occur to me that she wanted to see Casey because she had Bianca on her mind, I just thought she was being a typical teenager and rebelling against her parental figures. I know now that I made a pretty poor decision but in my defence I have never had to deal with that before so I was stuck with what to do, I’ll apologise to her,” April finished off quietly. Heath sighed and shook his head.

“Do it quickly, I want to leave as soon as possible,” Heath muttered. April nodded her head and stood up. She walked over to Darcy’s door and knocked loudly three times before entering. Darcy was sitting cross legged on her bed with two photographs in her hands. April sat down beside her and looked at the pictures too, one was of Darcy, Heath, Bianca and Harley the day Harley was born and the second photo was the photo Darcy had taken of April and Heath at Angelo’s when they went out for dinner. April didn’t even know that Darcy had printed out the photo of her and Heath. Darcy look up at April and put the photos down on the bed in front of her.

“I’ve decided to take the photo of dad and I with Bianca and Harley out of my purse and replace it with the photo of you and dad. I need something that is going to make me happy not sad with me, and despite the fact that the two of you are horrible when it comes to punishments you do make me happy. I’ll put the other photo somewhere special it just doesn’t need to be with me all the time, it can’t be healthy right?” Darcy asked. April looked down at her proudly and wrapped her arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer so Darcy’s head was resting on April’s arm.

“I’m really proud of you for that, it’s a really brave thing to do Darcy. I came in here to apologise for not letting you see Casey, I realise now that it was unfair and I shouldn’t have done it. I’m really sorry Darcy,” April said to her. Darcy furrowed her eyebrows together and shook her head.

“Don’t be so silly April, I did the wrong thing and you reacted maybe a little too harshly but it’s okay,” Darcy smiled at her as she spoke. April looked at Darcy and wondered how her and Heath got so lucky as to get Darcy. April had seen girls come into the hospital with alcohol poisoning and she had even come across a few girls that had overdosed on drugs while partying. She was happy that Darcy had no interest in those sort of things but she also knew there would come a day when Darcy would want to go out and have fun and one day Heath and April would have to let her. They can’t hide her from everything even though they try.

“I love you lots and lots kiddo, did you know that?” April said just before she kissed the top of Darcy’s head. April saw Darcy like her own daughter, she ignored the fact that she was the third mother figure Darcy had had in her life and acted like she was the first. Darcy was a lot like April and it scared April sometimes, Darcy will say something or make a face and April will see herself in her. April didn’t want Darcy to end up like her, April had more issues than she could count on two hands and she didn’t want that for Darcy. Darcy deserved a better life than April got, Darcy needed to be loved and cared for more than April ever was.

“I love you more.”

 

 

 

 

Heath wouldn’t even look at April when he and Darcy left. He told her to go and get some tea and that he and Darcy would get something after they visited Casey. April felt sick to her stomach, despite having made up with Darcy Heath was still being stubborn and refused to forgive April so easily. April didn’t fully understand where all of Heath’s anger was coming from, she figured he was just being a father bear and trying to protect his baby from getting hurt. Even though his baby was fifteen and got angry when he called her a baby or tried to protect her for that matter, she didn’t need to be babied or hidden from anything in her opinion. She says she’ll figure things out by herself, she’ll figure out which people to avoid at parties and what not to wear to a job interview and even when and when not to study. So far Darcy had figured out that writing an essay at one in the morning doesn’t get her the best results but writing one at four in the afternoon gets her an A. April looked forward to watching as Darcy made mistakes whether they be big or minor and then learning from them, you’ll always stumble before you can run. After a little while April began to get hungry, she picked up her purse and put on her shoes and left the house to head to the diner deciding that she was in the mood for a salad and a piece of Leah’s quiche. She wasn’t far down her street when a very puffed Nate came into stride with her.

“Did you not hear me calling out to you? I thought you had earphones in or something,” Nate said gasping for air. April chuckled and shook her head. April must have been off with the pixies because she hadn’t heard a thing. April looked over at Nate to see he was red faced and clearly still struggling for air, April slowed her pace down for him and he seemed grateful.

“I’m sorry, my head must have been somewhere else,” April muttered out. The wind picked up and April realised just how cold it was she started rubbing her arms to make herself warmer. Nate noticed this and took his jacket off and placed over her shoulders. April’s eyes widened and she looked at him shaking her head. “I don’t need this really,” she said trying to take it off to hand back to him but he put his hands on her shoulders and shook his head.

“You’re in a short sleeved dress and I’m in a long sleeved work shirt, it wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me to let you freeze while I’m melting. So why was your head elsewhere? Problems with what’s his name, Henry? Harry?” Nate said. April snorted and shook her head at Nate.

“It’s Heath, and things aren’t the greatest but we’ll get through it,” April said hopefully. Nate stopped abruptly and grabbed her arm. April turned to face him with her eyebrows furrowed together. Nate looked at her unhappily.

“You deserve better than that April, you’re just settling with Heath because you feel like you have to. Well you don’t, if you want better than go for better,” Nate said grabbing her hand. April pulled her hand away and took a step backwards.

“Nate, you don’t know anything,” April whispered harshly. Nate took another step forward, this time April didn’t move back.

“I know that I really want to kiss you,” he said, and then he did.

[Phoebe]

IT'S BEEN A WEEK I AM SO SORRY!!!!!

I've been literally drowning in homework recently and haven't had much time to do anything! I'm so sorry!

Thank you everybody for the comments!

 

Chapter twelve

 

 

April put both of her hands on Nate’s chest and pushed away from him. His eyebrows furrowed together and his mouth pulled into a thin line, Nate clearly wasn’t the type of guy to get rejected often and April knew that from the minute they had met, but April wasn’t the type to cheat on her boyfriend and she never had been. She took a few steps backwards slowly shaking her head, her appetite gone. Realisation washed over Nate’s face, he took a few steps towards and reached out to touch her face but she flinched. He sighed and let his hand drop to his side.

“I probably shouldn't have done that, hey,” Nate said. April shook her head violently and took a few more steps backwards stumbling over her two feet a little. “I have never felt this way about someone before, from the moment I met you even though you had your boyfriend and step daughter by your side I knew we were meant to be but I accepted the fact that it couldn't happen because you were spoken for and from what I could see, happy. Then we started to talk more and it became blatantly obvious that you weren't happy, you spend more time either angry at Heath or upset because of Heath than actually being happy with Heath. If you were with me I could make you happy all the time, don't you want that?” Nate said as he reached out and grabbed April’s arm. April stared at his hand on her arm, his thumb rubbing circles that would've calmed her, if it was Heath, but because it was Nate caressing her she felt sick to her stomach. She pulled her arm away and took a shaky breath.

“As I said before Nate, you know absolutely nothing. Are you there first thing in the morning when Heath and I lay in each other’s arms taking advantage of the extra five minutes we have to ourselves before Darcy storms in accusing me of taking her straightener or yelling at Heath because he ate the last of her favorite breakfast cereal the night before once she went to bed? Are you there when I'm having one of my breakdowns? If you were you'd know that Heath holds me and tells me everything is going to be fine until I stop crying and can breathe properly. Some of mine and Heath’s problems are your fault, because his gut told him that you wanted me and hey, he was right and that's the worst part, you doing this could very well break Heath and I up. Believe me if we do I won't be running into your arms, as my sister use to say, you have well and truly shot yourself in the foot Nate,” April said. Her voice was harsher and louder than she meant for it to be but she couldn't help it, it was like her mind was clouded by anger so much that she couldn't think straight. Nate blinked a few times and took two steps backwards. April stared at him for some time before turning away and walking away from him. She hadn’t gotten very far away from the house when Nate caught up with her so she was home in just a few minutes. She opened the door and put her bag on the ground. She fell onto the couch and closed her eyes. In some ways Nate was right, sometimes April wasn’t very happy with Heath, sometimes she wanted to leave him but not for another man, just to be by herself. She felt like she put in most of the effort with their relationship, it was hard to keep holding onto to something that was pulling to get away. April stood up and walked into hers and Heath’s bedroom and grabbed her suitcase from under the bed. Tears rolled down her face as she slowly packed what she could into her suitcase, making sure everything was neat and organized. She walked into Darcy’s room and grabbed the last thing she needed, the photo of Heath and her at Angelo’s when they first moved back. She placed it on top of her clothes and shoes and various makeup products, then she zipped the suitcase up. She ripped out a piece of paper from her notebook and grabbed a pen and began to write.

 

Dear Heath,

Before you read this I need you to know that I love you more than anything in this whole entire world and that I would do anything to not be doing what I’m doing now. I guess I should start by saying Nate kissed me, no this is not why you’ve come home to find me gone. After he kissed me he said some things, some things that at first I denied and told him he didn’t know what he was talking about. Sadly, the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. I’m not happy, and I haven’t been for such a long, long time. I haven’t been 100% happy with you since I found out we had to come back here. I tried telling myself that it would be better once we got here, you’d see that it wasn’t so bad being back and you would stop being so horrible to me all the time. That didn’t happen, in fact things just got worse. So I told myself you needed time and you would be fine after you got back into things, that wasn’t the case. At this point I’m convinced I’m doing something wrong, so I change, I try and be what I think you want me to be, I don’t know whether I got that completely wrong or what but things just got worse. So here we are, with me trying to write this letter without getting tears on the page and you by yourself. I’m not saying that this is forever Heath, I’m not, I have every faith that if we are meant to be that we will come back together and hopefully things will be better the third time around. Tell Darcy that I love her and she’s free to call me whenever she needs some motherly advice, but I would rather you stay away in all ways shapes and forms. If you find out where I’m staying please don’t come by, I will come to you when I’m ready and when I want to. I hope that we can eventually get through this, but for now we need some time apart. Please, whatever you do, do not hate me for this. Try your best to see where I am coming from, I’m not leaving for no reason Heath, we have serious issues that need to be sorted if we want any chance at a long lasting relationship. I’ll come and see you soon, mainly to grab some things that I’ve missed but we can talk then.

Love always, April xx  

 

With shaking hands, she folded the letter in two and scrawled Heath’s name on top. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she rolled her suitcase through the house, she stopped in front of the kitchen table. She held the letter in her hand tightly, part of her wanted to wait until Heath got home so they could talk about it face to face, but she knew that it would be harder to leave with him watching her as she went. She closed the door behind her and pulled out her phone. She dialed the number for a taxi and waited. She had no idea where she was going to go, usually she would go to Irene’s, but Nate was there and he was the cause of all this. She thought about getting a caravan and staying at the caravan park, but the thought of communal showers made her cringe, she can handle using them as a short term thing when she’s camping but she wouldn’t go well using them full time. An idea struck and she quickly dialed Leah’s number. The phone ran two times before Leah picked up.

“April, what can I do for you?” Leah’s bright cheery voice came through the phone. April took a breath and closed her eyes. Leah was almost a stranger to April but she really had no choice.

“This is going to sound really strange and it’s hard to explain but I really need somewhere to live and you’re my only option,” April said. She was kicking herself because it was clear that she was crying, she knew that Leah would make a big deal out of it and would want April to talk about it and April wasn’t up to it at that moment.

“You’ll have to bunk in with Evie but you’re welcome here for as long as you need sweetie,” Leah replied, concern now in her voice. April let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. The taxi pulled up in front of her and she got in.

“Thank you so much Leah, I’ll be there soon,” April said before hanging up. She told the taxi driver Leah’s address and he started moving. April looked back at the house as they drove away. It felt like she was driving away from everything that had happened since they had gotten back, it was a major setback. They pulled up out the front of Leah’s, she gave the driver the money needed and then got her bag out of the back of the car. She walked up to Leah’s front door and knocked three times loudly. She wiped at her eyes and hoped they didn’t look too bloodshot. Leah’s answered and she immediately pulled April into a hug. April wrapped her arms around the small middle aged woman and sobbed. She let her emotions take over while Leah rubbed her back and made soothing noises to try and calm her down. April heard people moving around and then the sound of her suitcase being wheeled inside, she wanted to look up and tell the person that it was okay, she could take her own bag in. She wasn’t that heartbroken. She finally pulled away from Leah and made an attempt to wipe her face, VJ saw her doing this and handed her a tissue. Leah grabbed her hand and led her into the lounge room where Evelyn, Oscar and Matt were all sitting. They took one look at her and then they all headed for one of their rooms. April fell onto the couch and put head in her hands.

“Everything is a mess Leah,” April whispered. Leah sat down beside her and wrapped her arm around her and pulled her close. April could hear the others talking in the other room, they sounded happy, April wanted to be happy. That’s why she left, she hoped that Heath would understand that. Some would say that she’s being selfish and in a way she was but it was needed. Being with Heath was making everything much harder than it needed to be at that point in time.

“Did you and Heath have a fight?” Leah said, being careful not to push April too far in case she broke. That question should have been easy to answer, but it wasn’t. In April’s mind they never really fought, one of them yelled a bit and then the other apologized and all was well again. April didn’t leave because of one particular yelling session, she left because of a lot of built up yelling sessions that April hadn’t fully dealt with.

“I guess you could say that. I left because I’m not happy anymore and I haven’t been for some time now and nothing is getting better. It’s a repeating pattern with Heath and I, and a very bad pattern at that and I can’t take it anymore so I left. I was going to go to Irene’s but there’s one big problem there, one that I can’t get around. Am I being ridiculous Leah?” April asked her. Leah gave April a sad smile.

“No, you’re being quite smart.”

 

[Phoebe]

Thank you everybody for the comments! I hate how I can't write very often anymore, school is driving me insane! I hope you guys like this chapter Also this chapter isn't edited, so be aware of mistakes.

 

Chapter Thirteen

 

April pulled the blanket up to her chin and sighed loudly, she was sleeping on a camping bed next to Evelyn’s massive queen sized bed. The situation was far from perfect but it was the best she was going to get for the time being. She wanted to be back at her place in her bed next to her boyfriend with her step daughter snoring loudly in the next room, she didn’t want to be here. She didn’t want to share a room with a girl who wasn’t yet sixteen and she definitely didn’t want to be sleeping on a bed that squeaked when she moved. She wondered whether it was too late to go back home and take everything she wrote in that letter back, maybe she could say that it was just a joke and she just got called into work for a shift, but she couldn’t do that to Heath and Darcy. She felt like she had already hurt them enough; salt didn’t need to be added to their wounds by pretending that it didn’t happen in the first place. April rolled over again and the bed let out a god awful screeching sound, Evelyn sighed and sat up in her bed.

“Sorry, I just can’t seem to get comfortable,” April apologised to the young girl. April could just see Evelyn’s face in the dark, well, she could see enough of her face to know that she wasn’t very happy with her new roommate’s sleeping habits. Evelyn laid back down.

“Tell me what happened,” Evelyn whispered. April sat up in her bed, cringing at the sound it made when she did. April still wasn’t sure what happened or what brought on her sudden urge to leave. The kiss had a big part in it, she knew that much. She also knew that Heath had been treating her badly for a few months and that she was already at the end of tether before Nate kissed her and told her it was clear that she was anything but happy with the way things were. She’d love to be able to say that she had just fallen out of love with Heath, that he must have been a security blanket for her and now that she’s better she doesn’t need the blanket anymore, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case. She was still madly, head over heels, in love with the former Riverboy and it killed her inside that she couldn’t find it in herself to put up with the bad treatment for the occasional times when he’s an absolute sweetheart. She just couldn’t do it to herself anymore. She couldn’t keep saying that Heath was going to get better, Heath needed something to make him wake up and smell the roses, and April hoped that this was it. One of the hardest parts was leaving Darcy, April didn’t want Darcy to think that she was abandoning her. She didn’t want Darcy thinking that because April no longer lived with them that she didn’t care about her anymore, April cared about Darcy possible more than she did before she left. April wanted more than anything to just walk into Darcy’s room and tell her that everything was going to be okay. April sniffed and looked up at Evelyn who had sat up again during the long silence while April thought.

“Nothing and everything, it’s not the easiest to explain Eves,” April finally said. Evelyn scoffed and threw one of her pillows at April’s head only just missing her by a whisker.

“There must have been a time when everything started crumbling down, the point when you sensed things had changed,” Evelyn said. April was going to say that the kiss changed everything, it seemed like the most obvious answer. Then she realised that her relationship was already in ruins before the kiss, in fact the reason Nate kissed her was because he could tell it was in ruins and he took advantage of that. Her next answer was when they first moved back to the bay but they were rocky at that point in time as well. April was left with when she sat Heath and Darcy down at their dinner table back in the city and told them they would have to go back, Heath had got up and stormed out of the house and didn’t come back for hours. April honestly thought she was going to have to go back by herself and face everybody by herself but then he came around and told her he was sorry for being unbearable. April had let herself think that that was the last of his outbursts, little did she know that they would only get worse as moving day came. Heath would get angry if April expressed any ounce of excitement about the move. Heath didn’t like April talking about the move at all if April was being honest.

“I guess things went sour when I told him we had to come back here. He was so angry about it and the way he saw it it was my fault we had to come back. My fault that he had to back to a place where everything reminded him about his dead wife and son. I don’t think he understood that this town reminds me of Bianca just as much maybe even more than it does him. I just couldn’t be with somebody that was always angry at me for any longer. I hope to not be here very long, I’ll either find a place of my own or Heath and I will fix things, either way I’ll be gone,” April said laying back down. The room was silent again, April worried that maybe she had said something that she shouldn’t have, or maybe Evelyn had just fallen back asleep. April didn’t know what time it was but she knew it was late enough for everyone to be asleep. April was glad she had the day off the next day, she wasn’t up for working or seeing Nate.

“What happened to him being your blessing?” Evelyn whispered half asleep.

“I don’t Evie, I really don’t,”

 

 

 

April watched as the kids ran out of the house the next morning trying not to miss the bus that he been waiting outside their house for quite a while. April wished she could go back to the days when the only things she had to worry about were her grades and homework assignments. She would give anything to go back to her high school days, she would’ve had more fun instead of telling herself that she had plenty of time to party and have good times when she was older because that wasn’t the case because adulthood is the stress of high school x10. April gathered up the kids dishes and put them in the sink because it seems that once you hit the age of fifteen you didn’t have to put your dishes in the sink. The front door swung open with a loud crash making her jump. She turned around to see Heath standing in her kitchen in the clothes she saw him in the day before. He had large bags under his eyes and they were duller than usual. She gulped and opened her mouth to speak but he put his hand up to stop her.

“You’ve said more than enough April. It’s my turn,” Heath said. April was taken aback at how angry he sounded, she was almost afraid of him. “You love me? You don’t love me! If you loved me, you wouldn’t have done the one thing I was scared of you doing! You didn’t even have the decency to let me try and talk you out of it, you left in the most selfish way you could’ve. Asking me to just let you go and not try and make contact with you or find out where you were? That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said, of course I’m to try and talk to you April! Asking me nicely isn’t going to stop me. The part that upset me the most was the part where you said I treat you badly, that couldn’t be further than the truth April. I held you while you cried, I gave you a place to stay, I loved you with everything I’ve got April and you just threw it all back in my face. Darcy is a wreck, I had to threaten to smash her phone to get her to go to school this morning, now she hates me, as well as you. I don’t know why you’ve done this April but it’s ridiculous, so I’m here to take you home, go pack your things,” Heath finished off. April was astounded at the rudeness of him, it’s like he only read parts of the letter and totally ignored the parts where she said she wasn’t happy anymore. It didn’t surprise her that he had only taken in parts of the letter, Heath never payed attention to her feelings.

“No, I’m staying,” April said firmly. Heath blinked a couple of times and shook his head.

“Stop mucking around April and go and get your things. I’m not leaving here without you,” Heath yelled. It was then that April smelt the liquor on Heath’s breath and noticed the slurring of his words. April grabbed a glass and filled it with water and handed it to him. He looked at before throwing it at a wall so it smashed and water went everywhere. “I don’t want the damn water April, I want you to come home,” Heath yelled. April took a deep breath and got the dustpan and broom out and began to sweep up the broken pieces of glass. “Why aren’t you packing your bags already? Patterson can sort the glass when she gets home, get packing,” Heath yelled again. April chucked the contents of the dustpan into the bin and turned to face Heath.

“I’m not packing my things because I’m not going with you. I don’t know how much of my letter you actually read but I know I wrote multiple times that I wasn’t happy anymore Heath, and showing up here drunk as a sailor is not helping anything at all. I’m sorry that I left the way I did but I’m almost positive if I had of waited you wouldn’t have let me leave. I had no choice, it was either leave then or be stuck in a relationship that wasn’t working anymore. How did you even find out where I was?” April said. She was applauding herself for staying so calm throughout all of it, she had every right to scream and cry because of how he was being.

“VJ told Jett and Jett told Darcy and Darcy told me. I don’t understand why you aren’t happy with me, I’m happy with you,” Heath said. He was crying now, tears rolled down his cheeks and landed on his tank top leaving wet spots where they landed. April’s eyes started to water at the state, April had never been the reason for Heath’s tears before (A/N: when I wrote this I couldn’t remember whether I had made him cry because of April before or not so if I have I apologise) and it killed her to know that she was this time, whether he was drunk or not it didn’t matter because he was still crying because of her.

“Heath I need you to go. I can’t handle talking to you when you’re like this. Please don’t come around again in this state otherwise I’ll just have to kick you out,” April said as she wiped away her tears that had fallen. Heath looked at her like it was last time he has ever going to see her again; April did her best to avoid his eyes. Heath sighed and then turned and walked out of the door. April sobbed as she continued to sweep up the broken glass and wipe down the water. She felt as broken as the glass she was throwing in the bin.

 

 

[Phoebe]

Thank you everyone for the comments! Here is the next chapter

 

Chapter Fourteen

 

April stood outside of the hospital’s doors just far away enough for the automatic doors not to open, because she wasn’t ready to go in and face him, not yet. She needed more time to process everything, maybe he wouldn’t do anything because he tried before and she completely shut him down and he didn’t want his pride to get hurt again. If he still had any pride left. She wondered whether he knew that she had ended things with Heath, she had only told Leah and the people she was living with but word travels fast in Summer Bay sometimes there was no way around it sometimes. She could see Nate looking over some files through the glass doors, he looked concentrated, maybe he wouldn’t notice if she slipped by him. She adjusted her bag on her shoulder and took a deep breath, if she didn’t go in now she never would. She stepped forward and the doors opened in front of her, she took another deep breath and walked through them. She looked around and realised that no one, not even Nate, was looking at her. This made it easier for her to continue her walk through the hospital’s hallway. Nate looked up from his files and made eye contact with her, he beckoned for her to come with him and walked away from all the other doctors and nurses who were going about their normal work day not knowing what had happened and what was currently going on. They came to a hallway that only had a few nurses walking around doing their rounds. He turned to face her and he had this massive grin on his face.

“So, you broke things off with Heath?” Nate said with his smile still on his face. It took a little while for everything to click in April’s head but she soon realised that Nate was grinning because she had broken up with Heath. He was happy about her ending her one year and half relationship because of something he said. This made April feel sick to her stomach, Nate must have been under the impression that she had left Heath for him which was not the case at all.

“Yes, and I’ve spent the last two nights sobbing about it so I’d like it if you could dial down your excitement about it, thanks,” she spat out bitterly. Nate blinked and shook his head and grabbed her arm when she turned and started to walk away. April turned back around and narrowed her eyes at him. “I don’t know about you Nate, but I have patients that I need to tend to, so if you’ll excuse me,” she said with a fake smile. He rolled his eyes and moved his hand down her arm until he had hold of her hand.

“Why can’t you see the connection we have April? I can see it; I can even feel it. You’re meant to be with me, not with that over tattooed uneducated thug. You should be with someone who is intelligent and can actually understand what you’re saying, I am that person. Unlike Heath I have made something of myself, what has he done? Managed a gym? That’s hardly being a doctor and you know it,” Nate finished smugly. April angrily pulled her hand out of his grasp and reached up and slapped Nate’s face. Nate stumbled backwards holding his cheek with his mouth open in surprise. April hadn’t even fully registered what she had just done, but she did know that what Nate was saying made her so unbelievably angry, she wasn’t sure if he ever been that angry at a person before. April had never even thought about laying a hand on another person before, but she didn’t regret slapping Nate at all. Hearing Nate say all of those things made her realise that she had possibly made the biggest mistake she had ever made by leaving Heath.

“You know nothing about Heath, so don’t you ever talk about him badly ever again. You should hope to be at least half the man he is. You are an egotistical, self-entitled jerk who can’t handle rejection and sadly I think you’ll always be like that. You need to learn how to lose graciously and you can start by accepting the fact that for once a woman is not going to give into your smile and accent, that woman is me, if you didn’t realise,” April finished. She turned around and walked off, this time Nate didn’t make any attempt to stop her or talk to her. April smiled to herself, she had just defended someone she cared about deeply and put another man in his place at the same time. It was the best she had felt about something she had done in a long time.

 

 

 

The phone rang three times before the person on the other side answered it. April was walking to the diner with the phone up to her ear and her bag over her shoulder. Nate had completely ignored her throughout her shift, she caught him occasionally looking at her out of the corner of his eye but she just ignored it. She couldn’t help how she felt about him just as much as he couldn’t help how he felt about her. She didn’t dislike Nate because he had feelings for her, she disliked him because of the way he chose to go about acting on his feelings. It is never okay to kiss anyone that is already spoken for, it just causes too many unwanted complications for both people involved.

“April, hey,” Dex’s voice spoke through the phone’s speaker. He sounded surprised and confused at the same time. April had seen him leave Casey’s hospital’s room just an hour before her shift ended and she hadn’t seen him come back in again so she figured he was at home, next door to Heath. “Is this about Casey? Because I’ve already been told I can take him home once my shift ends tomorrow afternoon,” Dex added. Casey had been in hospital for a couple of extra days because the amount he had drunk that night had given him severe dehydration and the hospital was treating him for it.

“No, it’s not about Casey. It’s about Heath, I’m sure you know what happened,” April said awkwardly. Dex coughed and she could imagine him scratching the back of his neck. April knew this was hard for Dex, April was his friend but Heath was the brother of his partner, April had been in similar situations before and she knew it sucked. April had no else she could go to, Leah tried her best to understand but she just didn’t get it. Evelyn was the other option but she was fifteen and April felt strange unloading all of her life problems on someone who was still in high school.

“Yeah I know about you packing your things and leaving with just a letter as a goodbye. Can’t say that I’m on your side with this one April,” Dex said with a voice full of disappointment. “Actually, the fact that I’ve had Darcy here with me for the past few nights because Heath can’t do anything except drink and sleep really doesn’t impress me. So if you called to get sympathy from me you may as well hang up now,” Dex added. April bit her lip to stop herself from crying, she didn’t want Dex’s sympathy she just needed someone who would understand what she meant when she said she wasn’t happy because no one seemed to understand that.

“You weren’t happy with me Dex, right?” April spoke through strangled sobs. It was silent on the other end of the line. April stopped outside of the diner and leaned up the against the wall. She could hear the waves crashing beside her but for the first time in a long time she ignored the soothing sound.

“I guess I wasn’t,” Dex whispered. That was the answer April was hoping for. Dex should be able to understand how hard it is to stay somewhere that you don’t want to be. Dex didn’t want to be with April because he wanted to be with a man, April didn’t want to be with Heath because she wanted to be with someone who was truly happy with her and that she was happy with. The situations were different but they both left because they weren’t happy.

“So you should understand why I left. I realise now I could have gone a different way about it but at the time I felt stuck. I’m not angry at you for leaving at all, I was to begin with but I understand why you had to go. It isn’t the best feeling to be with someone who you know isn’t right for you at that point in time. I called you because I need someone to tell me that they understand, you don’t need to agree, you just need to understand,” April said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. She heard Dex sigh on the other end of the line.

“April I understand, but I do think you need to have a proper talk with Heath, I know that right now he’s at the sleeping stage. I suggest you talk to him before he picks up a drink. I also know you, and I know that you would want him back by now,” Dex says and then April was left with the beeping sound from him hanging up. April knew Dex was right. She walked into the diner and walked up to Leah’s part of the counter and smiled at the woman.

“I need to borrow your car for just an hour or so, please,” April said. Leah sighed and then walked into the kitchen part of the diner and came back a pair of keys in her hand. She passed them to April and April muttered a thank you before running out of the diner and out into the carpark. She unlocked the car and hopped in. She drove until she got to her old house. She parked in the drive and walked up the path to the front door. She grabbed her key out of her bag and unlocked the door. She tip-toed inside. She was greeted by the sight of beer cans spread out on the floor that led to her ex-boyfriend who was passed out on the couch. April sat down beside him and reached out to push his hair out of his eyes. April could tell that she was sitting on another beer can and she could smell the scent of Heath’s favourite brand of cigarettes, different brands of cigarettes have a different smell in her opinion and she could pick up on Heath’s chosen brand from a mile away. He had quit months and months ago and vowed never to go back, so the fact that everything had that smell meant he was hurting badly and it was all her fault. “Heath, baby,” she said lightly shaking him until he stirred. He blinked a few times and rubbed at his eyes.

“April? What are you doing here? I thought you didn’t want to see me again,” Heath mumbled as he sat up next to April. April’s stomach tightened at his words, she hadn’t meant for what she said to come out that way. She just wanted him to leave because he was drunk, now that he wasn’t she would gladly talk to him. “And did I hear you correctly? Did you call me baby? What’s going on?” Heath sounded a mixture of angry and confused. April hesitated before grabbing hold of Heath’s hand and grasping it tightly. She hadn’t realised how much she had missed the little things, like holding Heath’s hand, until she was actually doing it.

“I realised today that I had made the biggest mistake of my life, leaving you the way the way I did. I hadn’t even given you a chance to change before I left, you had no idea that I was unhappy and that’s really unfair of me. If I had one wish it would be to go back in time and not pack my things that night. I would’ve waited until you and Darcy had gotten back and I would’ve spoken to you. Heath I am so incredibly sorry,” April said. Heath reached out and wiped the tears off of April’s cheeks that she hadn’t realised had fallen.

“I didn’t really give you a choice in the end though did I?” Heath whispered. Heath grabbed her other hand and held it has tight as she was holding his other hand. “I know now that I was acting like a bit of tool towards you because it was your job that was bringing us back here, I would love it if we could give it another try but I understand if you’re only here to say you’re sorry for the way you left,” Heath added quietly. April blinked a few times and looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“You would forgive me that easily?” April asked him. Heath licked his lips and nodded his head.

“I’m a bit of a loser in that sense,” Heath said with a chuckle. April smiled and leaned in until her lips with his. It took a few seconds but Heath started kissing back. With that kiss it became clear that the two of them were made for each other. He may have tasted like alcohol and smoke but it was still him and April loved it.

[Phoebe]

Thank you everybody for the comments! This chapter is shorter than usual, sorry!

 

Chapter Fifteen

 

April wasn’t 100% sure whether she was doing the right thing, moving back in with Heath and Darcy so quickly but Heath wanted her back in the house with the both of them. It wasn't Heath that April was worried about, Darcy rarely got angry or upset but when she did it was bad. Really bad. April knew that her leaving had had an effect on Darcy and April was trying to prepare herself for the dirty looks and snarky remarks that Darcy would give to her. The fact of the matter was April didn't know how Darcy was feeling, maybe she would just be glad that April was back, she was most likely going to be angry though. Very angry. April’s step mother duties had started back up almost instantly, Darcy had missed the bus because her teacher kept her back after class to talk about a piece of homework that hadn't been handed in and needed to be picked up. April was told all this via text by Heath, Darcy was expecting her dad to turn up not her runaway step mum. So April drove into the school and parked outside of the administration office and waited. April couldn't help but think of all of the worst possible outcomes, Darcy could just blatantly refuse to go with April, Darcy could yell and scream at April the whole ride home, Darcy could see the bags in the back of the car and say she doesn't want April back at the house. April started to feel sick in the stomach, she had never been so worried to have a conversation with anyone let alone Darcy. April looked out of the window and watched as Darcy turned a corner and started walking towards the car. Darcy got to the passenger side door and got in. April turned and smiled at the young girl who she had grown quite fond of even before she was with Heath, and silently hoped she would smile back at her. Darcy stared at April with a blank expression and then pulled her earphones out of her pocket and put them in her ears and then connected them to her phone. Suddenly April knew where she stood. April had thought of a whole bunch of reactions Darcy could have had but completely ignoring her wasn’t one of them. April cleared her throat and started the car up. April could hear the music coming from Darcy’s earphones as she drove through Summer Bay, she tried her best not to take any notice of the fact that Darcy was making a fist at her side and grinding her teeth together even though she knew April hated the sound. April tried to stay calm and tell herself that Darcy would calm down soon enough and everything could go back to the way it was before everything started falling apart in front of her. April pulled into the driveway and stared straight ahead at the house. Darcy went to leave but without realising what she was doing April reached out and grabbed Darcy’s arm.

“Darcy we need to talk about this before it blows up into something bigger,” April whispered. Darcy slumped back into the seat and ran her hands over her eyes and sighed in a loud over dramatic way. Darcy turned to face April with a cold glare and her mouth drawn into a thin line.

“Let it blow up into something bigger April, see if I care,” Darcy muttered bitterly. The bluntness of Darcy’s words hit April the hardest, she said them like she really didn’t care whether April and her patched things up. She made April believe that she had no interest in a good relationship with April anymore all because April left for a few days. All it was a few days staying just a couple of streets over. April had made it clear in her letter that she was still there for Darcy and that Darcy could come to her with absolutely anything at all and April would do anything in her power to help her out. April just wasn’t able to be with Heath at the time, but Heath had vowed to be a better boyfriend and April had vowed to talk to Heath when things got bad instead of leaving.

“Darcy I was gone for around three days, and if you had of called I would’ve answered and explained everything to you myself and reassure you that everything will be fine with just a bit of time and space apart, okay? Please don’t hate me doing what I did, that was one thing I did not want to happen Darcy,” April said firmly. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I’m moving back in so you have no choice but to forgive me, not for my sake but for your father’s. You know it would kill him if we couldn’t get along,” April finished. Darcy’s mouth fell open and her eyebrows furrowed together.

“I cannot believe that you just used my own father to try and get me to forgive you for your poor choices. At the end of the day yes it was only a couple of days, but it was a couple of days of drunk dad and sleepless nights because dad was in the next room either vomiting or crying, sometimes both. It was all because of you, you left and he shut down and wouldn’t listen to anyone. I spent my days with Dex and only went back of a night because they didn’t have enough rooms for me at their house. I have decided that I will never fully forgive you for leaving the way you did, do you know what it’s like to come home and find a letter in place of a loved one? It absolutely horrible, and it was one thing that I was convinced I would never have to experience but hey, you made should I did. I’m happy that dad forgave you, not because I want you back in my life but because I know dad wants you back in his. Do not screw up again April, if you do don’t expect to be given a second chance because us Braxton’s don’t work like that,” and then she opened the door and got out, leaving April alone to think about everything she had just said.

[Phoebe]

Thank you everybody again for the comments! This chapter hasn't been edited so I'm sorry for any mistakes, there is bound to be some.

 

Chapter sixteen

 

April wiped her mouth and slowly stood up from her place on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet where she had been vomiting for the past ten minutes since she got up. She took a few steps backwards and crashed into a figure who then wrapped their arms around her waist. From the tattoos April could tell it was Heath hugging her, he swayed the both of them from side to side slowly. April had been back at the house for a week now and the past few days she had started her days with her head in the toilet, Heath was worried in the beginning but calmed down when he realised she was perfectly fine after a couple of hours. April just assumed that it was because April had been constantly worried since she had moved back in, things with Darcy hadn’t gotten better. Darcy barely spoke to her, if Darcy was talking to Heath and April walked in Darcy would immediately stop talking and leave the room. Heath hadn’t picked up on anything, he was too happy to notice anything other than April. April had tried multiple times to talk to Darcy and makes things okay between the two of them but Darcy just wasn’t interested in playing happy families with someone who was prone to running away when things got too hard. April turned to face Heath and he frowned at her.

“I refuse to believe that all of this spewing is because you’re stressed at work, I think you need to see a doctor April,” Heath said. April had told him that it was stress because of work and not Darcy. April chuckled at him and shook her head. April didn’t like going to other doctors, she should be able to pick up on illnesses herself she doesn’t need someone with the exact same degree as her to tell her what’s wrong when she can do it herself.

“I am a doctor and I say that I’m fine and that you’re being silly, okay?” April said with a smile. She leaned forward to kiss Heath but then her stomach churned horribly and suddenly the toilet was her best friend again. Heath gathered up her hair and pulled out of her face and sighed loudly. April had to admit now that there was something more than just worrying going on here. April looked up at Heath and frowned. “Alright Heath, make an appointment,” she said before looking back down at the toilet and spewing again. Heath didn’t say anything, he just held her hair back and rubbed small circles on her back. She appreciated Heath so much in that moment, he had every right to boast about the fact that he was right and she was wrong but he didn’t. She hadn’t realised it until then but he’s always been like that, if someone makes a mistake that he told them not to make he doesn’t say anything he just helps. That was just another way him and Nate were different, Nate loved to let everyone know he was right. April stood up again and hugged Heath tightly.

“I’ll go call the doc,” Heath whispered to her before walking off. April walked back over to the toilet and flushed it. She walked out into the lounge room, he did a double take when she saw that Darcy was still in her pyjamas and was making no effort to get up and get ready for school. Darcy looked up at April and screwed up her nose before looking back the TV that was playing Gossip Girl, Darcy’s favourite show. April sat down beside Darcy and smiled at her shyly.

“Dan is my favourite, I think it’s because he isn’t from a rich family and all the other characters are, except for Jenny of course,” April said to her. Darcy pulled her knees up to her stomach and rolled her eyes. April crossed her legs and watched as Serena and Blair got into another argument about something unimportant and meaningless.

“I like Chuck, I like how he’s not afraid to tell people what he thinks,” Darcy replied. Darcy’s favourite use to be Serena because she was nice to everyone without having a hidden agenda, April had idea when Chuck became her favourite. “I wish I was more like Chuck, simply because right now I want to tell you to go away but I’m too nice to,” Darcy said looking straight at April. April’s stomach dropped, she had thought her and Darcy were having a proper conversation, the first proper conversation they had had in a long time, but Darcy herself had a hidden meaning in her words. April didn’t want Darcy to know that her words had affected her but the tears rolling down her cheeks gave her away. Darcy’s mouth pulled into a line and her eyes softened. “Maybe that was a little harsh, I’m sorry,” Darcy whispered. April wiped her eyes and stood up and straightened out her clothes.

“Yes, it was extremely harsh. I get that you’re angry Darcy but you’re going to end up needing me sometime soon and if you keep being like this then I’m not going to be willing to help you out. So build a bridge and get over the fact that I’m back and that I’m never going to leave again for your own good, not for mine,” April snapped. Heath walked in with furrowed eyebrows and his phone in his hand.

“What’s going on? Darcy why are you in your pyjamas still? April why did you snap? I was gone for five minutes you two,” Heath yelled. Darcy turned her head around to look at the TV again and April just stared at the wall ahead of her. “Someone answer me, now,” Heath demanded. Darcy sighed and pressed pause on her show.

“It’s a student free day and I don’t know, she’s insane,” Darcy said before switching off the TV and storming off to her room, slamming the door as she went. April took offence to the comment about her being insane, she wasn’t insane. Darcy was taking way too long to get over April leaving, it was making April want to leave again and she hated that Darcy had the power to make her feel like that. April missed the days when she and Darcy would take over the TV and watch a bunch of chick flicks on Netflix when Heath was working, she missed the talks they would have when one of them was having trouble, she missed how her relationship with Darcy use to be in general. Heath looked at her expectantly. April sighed and closed her eyes.

“She’s angry at me about leaving. I know it was a bad thing to do but she’s absolutely hounding me for it, can’t we just be happy again? She doesn’t seem to want me here; in fact, I think she hates me. Heath, that kills me, because I love her so damn much and she can’t see that anymore. I’m stupid for thinking that everything could be the same as it was before, so, so stupid,” April told Heath as tears rolled down her face. Heath didn’t say anything he just pointed to something behind April. April furrowed her eyebrows and turned around, standing in front of her bedroom door was Darcy. She had tears running down her face now too.

“April, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that how I was acting was upsetting you so much, usually you would just ignore my attitude and just assume that I just being a typical teenage girl so I figured that was what you were doing now. I love you too April and that’s why I got so upset and angry when you left, you didn’t think of me at all when you left that night and that’s what hurt the most. I need someone, a girl, to talk to around here and that was you for so long and then suddenly I didn’t have that. I know you said I call whenever I needed to but come on, that would’ve been awkward because my only problem was you leaving. April I am sorry for what I’ve been doing lately, I promise I’ll be better from now on,” Darcy said before bursting into hysterics. April held out her arms and Darcy ran into them. April rested her chin on top of Darcy’s head while the two of them cried. Heath smiled at them before wrapping his arms around the two of them.

“That’s my girls. I love you both and I’m glad all of the bickering is over, everything can go back to normal now,” Heath said kissing the tops of their heads. April closed her eyes and prayed to god that he was correct, she couldn’t handle another problem coming up again.

“We love you too Heath, nothing is going to wreck our little family now, okay? Just the three of us from now onwards, we don’t need anybody else,” April said, and she truly believed that to be true.

 

 

 

 

April was laying down on one of the all too familiar hospital beds sick with worry. She had described what had been happening to one of the doctors she hadn’t met before because she requested to not have to talk to someone she knew about what was going on. The doctor had immediately hopped up and told her to be patient and that they had a sneaking suspicion as to what was wrong with April. April was glad somebody did because she had absolutely no clue what was going on anymore. Heath sat in the chair beside her holding her hand and giving her reassuring smiles and nods all through the appointment. Her doctor walked back in pulling an ultrasound machine behind her. April’s eyes widened and she started to shake her head.

“Oh, no, I’m not pregnant, that’s ridiculous,” April said. She looked over at Heath who had paled at the sight of the machine that had become familiar to him in the past few years with both of Bianca’s pregnancies. April felt a lump rise in her throat at Heath’s expression, he had been nothing but happy about Bianca’s pregnancies, but the mere thought of having a child with April scared him. April was certain she’d be a great mother, she had this maternal instinct and kids seemed to love her, still, now wasn’t the best time to be expecting a baby. The doctor hooked up the machine and smiled at April.

“It’s just a possibility April, you could be right but we have to check off every possible scenario until we find the right one, okay?” The doctor said to her. April screwed at her nose at the doctor.

“I know how the medical system works, I’m a doctor myself. Get on with it please,” April spat out rudely. The doctor raised her eyebrows as she pulled up April’s top and squirted the sticky gel on to her stomach. April cringed as the doctor pushed down with the wand until a clear picture came up on the screen. April’s stomach started to churn and her eyes started to water. “Please tell that I’m just seeing double here, I am right?” April asked the doctor, her voice much more vulnerable and scared than it was before.

“You’re not seeing double, you’re pregnant with twins. Congratulations Dr. Scott,” The doctor said as she handed April a tissue to clean her stomach. April watched as the doctor wheeled the machine out of the room and closed the door.  The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. April gingerly wiped the gel off her stomach. She was scared, she wasn’t ready to be a mother of one let alone a mother of two. She built up the courage to look up at Heath. He was looking at her stomach with wide eyes and his mouth open.

“Heath? Talk to me, please?” April pleaded quietly. Heath looked her in the eyes and didn’t even try to smile.

“Let’s just go April”

[Phoebe]

Thank you guys for the comments! I hope you like this chapter! I would have had it ready for you last night but my computer stuffed up and I lost about 1500 words of work! This isn't edited so sorry for any mistakes (there is bound to be plenty)

 

Chapter seventeen

 

April flinched as Heath brushed past her to get inside later that afternoon. The two of them hadn’t said a word to each other since that dreaded doctor’s appointment. The situation wasn’t perfect at all; April hadn’t planned on having kids of her own until she had developed a steady medical career and by then she had been hoping that Heath and herself would have a much stronger relationship than what they had. They would have to start looking a new house, and that would kill Darcy. Darcy loved living near Casey and just down the road from Jett, if they moved she wouldn’t be able to just run down the street to get something she left behind at Jett’s or go next door when April and Heath were fighting. April didn’t want to take that away from her. April also didn’t want to cause any more problems for Heath, and by the way he was stalking around the house now she could tell he didn’t want these babies either. April didn’t know anything at this point except that she needed to have a serious discussion and the sooner it was done the better everything would be.

“Heath, come and sit,” April said taking a seat at the dinner table. Heath hesitated, he looked at the table and then at the front door, after a while he sighed and took a seat across the table from April. April folded her hands together and closed her eyes. She tried to think of ways to get Heath to open up and tell her why he was having such a problem with her being pregnant, Heath didn’t like to be nagged or pushed into admitting things he needed to do it on his own. “I’m really scared Heath. I wasn’t planning on having kids for another five years, maybe more, but here we are. We can’t ignore something this like, we ignore a lot of our problems but this one is too huge to just pretend like it doesn’t exist. It’s a baby, scrap that it’s two babies. Two babies that we are going to have to take care of and Heath, I don’t know if you have noticed but I can barely take care of myself, how am I going to take care of two babies?” April had started to cry, Heath grabbed her hand and with his other he wiped at her cheeks. Everything April had said was the truth, she was scared. Her main fear was that she would be a bad mother, that her babies would grow up hating her because she pushed them too hard or expected too much of them. April grew up with parents like that and she always had this fear that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

“You’re scared? You have no reason to be scared! Have you found out that you’re going to be a parent before and then lose your child when they’re only a couple of months old? Because I have, twice! The second time I lost the first love of my life. I have been so terrified of the day that you tell me you want to be a mum; I was actually hoping that Darcy would be enough for you. I can’t imagine myself as someone else’s dad anymore. So I’m sorry that I’m not jumping with excitement over this April, I just don’t want to lose you and if history repeats itself I will. You have no idea how much I want to want these babies but I just can’t find it in myself to get excited about this because I’ll be damned if I’m going to let myself get heartbroken again,” Heath said with a shaky voice. April’s stomach dropped, she couldn’t believe that she hadn’t thought of Heath being scared. The more she thought about it the more sense it made to her, he must be convinced that he’s cursed or something. Heath took a deep breath. “You must think I’m some sort of monster or something, what kind of person doesn’t get excited over becoming a parent? I’m starting to think that I’m a monster,” Heath said quietly. A tear rolled down his cheek and he wiped it away as quick as he could so there was less chance of April seeing it, but she did. She rubbed her thumb over Heath’s knuckles and looked him the eyes, she wanted to let him know that he was no monster and if he was then she was hopelessly in love with a monster. If she was being honest it broke her heart to see him so broken over something that should be a source of happiness.

“Heath you are no monster, not at all. It’s understandable for you to be scared, it’s understandable for you to think that these babies could only mean trouble. Let me tell you, the only trouble they are going to cause is when they’re Darcy’s age and we catch them sneaky back inside after a late night out drinking with friends. It’s going to take some time for the both of us to wrap our heads around the babies and to get excited about them and that’s okay because it’s a massive thing to be sprung upon this. The only thing I’m certain of right now is that I’m raising our children either with you or without you, it’s up to you Heath. I promise I’ll respect any decision you make,” she said as she stood up she placed her hand on his shoulder and walked past him. She hoped that what she had told him sinks in, she is having these babies and she is going to raise them the way she should have been raised. They are going to grow up with more than just each other to rely on because if you spend all your life leaning on just one person when that person leaves you end up flat on your face with nobody to pick you up. April learned that the hard way.

 

 

 

 

After weeks of telling Irene that they would come around for tea and never actually setting a date to come around they were sitting around Irene’s large dining table waiting for her to bring out whatever she had cooked up for the three of them. April had been avoiding stepping inside Irene’s house because she didn’t want all these memories that she didn’t want to remember to come back to her. She thought getting it over and done with straight away would be the best way to go about it but when that didn’t end up happening because of Irene’s work roster April saw it as a sign to stay well away from that house. So far she was doing okay. Heath sat ridged beside her, just staring straight ahead, the two of them hadn’t said a word to each other since they spoke about the babies. April could tell that he was thinking, April just hoped that he was thinking how great it would be to be a father again. April looked across at Darcy to see her looking down at her lap which meant only one thing, she was texting. April held her hand out and cleared her throat. Darcy looked at her then her hand and high-fived it with a massive grin on her face, April just raised her eyebrows at her. Darcy rolled her eyes and handed over her phone reluctantly. April shook her head as she put it in her dress pocket. Irene walked back in with a large plate of what looked like oysters and a pot of sauce, April licked her lips at the thought of Irene’s homemade sauce drizzled over the top of oysters that Irene always cooked perfectly. Irene served April up some and drizzled the sauce over the top, April thanked her and went to pop one in her mouth but Heath stopped her before she could. April furrowed her eyebrows at him and pulled her mouth into a straight line. Heath sighed and guided April’s back down to her plate and made her place the oyster down.

“You can’t eat that, remember that no shellfish diet you’re going on for a few months?” Heath said to her slowly. Suddenly it clicked in April’s head, shellfish must be one of the foods she can’t eat while pregnant with the twins. She frowned and nodded her head, she was already missing every shellfish she had ever had and liked even if she hadn’t had one in years. Irene leaned over and collected April’s plate.

“I’m so sorry, I forgot to tell you. I’ll just have some bread and butter or something like that,” April said with an apologetic look on her face. Irene shook her head vigorously and furrowed her eyebrows at April.

“You will do no such thing girlie! I have a barbequed chook in the fridge I’ll put some of that in a roll for ya,” Irene told her as she walked back into the kitchen with April’s plate in her hand. Darcy turned to face April and Heath in her chair, she was quite a good listener when she wasn’t on her phone which was almost never. She raised her eyebrows at the two of them and took a sip of her lemonade before clearing her throat loudly.

“What is going on? April you love shellfish; you would never give it up for some trend. There is something going on and it has something to do with shellfish and I want to know,” Darcy demanded. April sighed and ran her hand over her face and she could hear Heath chuckle quietly beside her. April looked at Heath expectantly but he just gestured back to Darcy with one hand. It was just typical of Heath to pass off a difficult job to April, he never liked to handle things that he deemed too hard. April faced Darcy and smiled her encouragingly, this news didn’t have to be bad news.

“Look Darcy, now may not be the time to tell you, so we’ll tell you when we get home,” Heath spoke up. April looked back at him incredulously. She was glad that he decided to speak up and tell Darcy how it was going to be. April was afraid that Darcy would act in a similar way that Heath did, that the babies meant that someone was going to be taken away from her. Darcy went to protest but then Irene walked back in with a rolled jammed packed with chicken sitting on April’s plate. She sat it in front of April and sat back in her own spot. April took a large bite and Irene smiled at her happily.

“Darl, Nate told me what happened between you guys, he feels absolutely awful about it love,” Irene said. April choked on her mouthful of food. She finally stopped coughing and swallowed her food. That what the last thing she expected to come out of Irene’s mouth. She didn’t think that Nate would have even told her what he did, he wasn’t the type to admit he did the wrong thing. April wiped her mouth on the sleeve of her top and cleared her throat loudly.

“So he should Irene, he did the wrong thing,” April said defensively. Heath grabbed her hand under the table and squeezed tightly, April was grateful for the small gesture. It meant that he wasn’t planning on leaving her anytime soon. Irene took a sip of water and looked at April with disappointment on her face. April understood that Irene had had more to do with Nate over the past year or two but April thought that she and Irene had this great bond that nothing could break.

“Look girlie, I know you’re as stubborn as the sky is blue but you really should forgive the poor bloke. The two of ya work together, if that isn’t a good enough reason to forgive and forget then I don’t know what is,” Irene said as she made wild hand gestures. April stood up from the table and gave Irene on last sad look before storming out of the house.  

 

[Phoebe]

Thank you to everyone who has commented on or read this story over the past month and a bit! There is a post from me saying deleted because that post was all mucked up, I apologise.

I hope you all enjoy the last chapter 

 

Chapter Eighteen

 

April watched as Heath chucked his car keys on the bench and ran his fingers through his hair. The car ride had been silent, April hadn’t wanted to talk but now the silence was making her anxious. A big part of her was screaming at her for being so melodramatic over something that in hindsight wasn’t a big deal in the slightest.  She had just had so much on her mind since they got back to the bay that she was struggling to keep herself up. The babies have just added another layer of difficult. The hardest part hadn’t even been dealt with yet, Darcy. She was sitting on the couch with her nose in her phone, typing away at a speed that blew April away every time. April looked over at her boyfriend who just sighed and nodded his head. April walked over to Darcy and sat on the coffee table just in front of her. April waited for Heath to take a seat beside his daughter before looking back at Darcy with a smile on her face.

 

“I’m assuming you want to know why I have suddenly given up shellfish?” April said confidently. Darcy locked her phone and quirked her eyebrow at April. April tried to picture how Darcy would react, knowing Darcy she would pretend that she was happy and fine with it but one day April will tell her to put her washing away and she’ll say something sarcastic like ‘I bet your kids won’t have to put their washing away’ which was totally untrue, April may have OCD but she’s all for other people doing chores, as long as they do it right. April hated the fact that her being a pregnant was issue and not something to be happy about, she should be excited to tell Darcy that she was going to be a big sister but because of the past she had a lump in her throat and couldn’t stop her hands from shaking no matter how hard she tried. Heath should have hugged April and said how happy he was, not that he had been hoping that she wouldn’t want kids of her own. April understood it all, she just wished it was different. She wished that Bianca hadn’t died. Heath reached over and took hold of April’s hand and smiled her encouragingly. April took a deep breath and looked Darcy in the eye. “I can’t eat shellfish for a while because it’s bad for the babies,” April said finally. Her voice was barely above a whisper, like maybe if Darcy hadn’t heard she wouldn’t have to repeat it again. Darcy blinked a few times and looked between the two of them. April’s heart rate sped up to a ridiculous pace as she waited for Darcy to say something even if it was how much she hated April for this, April didn’t care she just hated the silence. Darcy sat back against the chair and looked down her hands that were folded over each other in her lap.

 

“Babies? So more than one? When did you find this out? How come you guys didn’t tell me straight away? I would have been fine with it! I am fine with it. I think,” Darcy said. April’s heart broke at how confused and hurt Darcy sounded, Darcy seemed to not know how to feel and April couldn’t blame her. April wanted to believe that Darcy was fine with April’s pregnancy but how could she be after losing two of her siblings before? How could someone so young bring themselves to be excited about something like this when they have been told the exact same thing before and it’s ended badly every time. Rocco wasn’t very old at all when he passed, neither was Darcy. Harley was a different story, Harley had just turned one when he passed and Darcy was fourteen, old enough to understand what exactly had happened. Darcy spent most of her time at the hospital that year, April wasn’t sure Darcy had thought of anything but Bianca and Harley that year. Heath wrapped an arm around Darcy’s shoulders and squeezed tightly.

 

“We’re having twins, so yes more than one. We found out at the doctors this morning and we hadn’t quite come to terms with it ourselves so we couldn’t expect you to. It’s okay to be conflicted about this Darcy, we are as well but I think the five of us will be okay in the end,” Heath said. April’s mouth fell open; she didn’t know what had been going through Heath’s head over the past few hours but something had change his mind. Relief flooded through April, now that Heath was on board now and prepared to let himself imagine a future with more kids than just Darcy. Darcy slowly nodded her and stood up. Darcy leaned forward and wrapped her arms around April tightly. A tear rolled down April’s cheek, she was already getting sick of getting emotional over every little thing that happens but she figured she was going to have to get use to that since she had nine months left of crazy hormones.

 

“Congratulations, don’t let this turn into another drama. These babies need to be a source of happiness for all of us. We’ve gone through a lot this year, something good is bound to happen eventually and I honestly think this is it guys. Now, I’m zonked and should probably lay down before I fall down. I love you both very much,” Darcy said before hugging Heath and then walking into her room. April looked at her boyfriend and smiled at him, he smiled back and beckoned her to come sit beside him. She sat down on the couch and leaned into him, his arms snaked around and his hands rested on her lower stomach. April smiled to herself, she was glad that this was her future, that Heath, Darcy and the babies were her forever. She couldn’t imagine needing anything else. April looked up at Heath and he leaned down and connected their lips together. In that moment April swore to herself that she had never been and will never be in love with someone as much as she was in love with Heath.

 

 

April walked into the hospital the next morning to see the usual craziness that greeted her of a morning. She walked past one of the hospital rooms where Nate was taking a patient’s temperature, when he spotted her he politely excused himself and ran after her. April had had an amazing morning, Darcy woke up and started suggesting all of these weird baby names and made a bet with Heath that there would be one boy and one girl, April hoped that Darcy loses simply because if she doesn’t then they owe her $100. April wasn’t going to let Nate ruin that, she wasn’t going to let anyone ruin that. April felt Nate’s hand land on her shoulder and she tensed up.

 

“That wasn’t fair what you did to Irene last night April. I have no idea what is going on with you but you shouldn’t have taken it out on her like that. She loves you like a daughter, it almost killed her when she couldn’t make contact with you, but you didn’t know that did you? Of course not because you have barely spoken to her since you moved back in, you didn’t even come to her when you had no place to live! You say that I’m some sort of monster but have you looked at yourself lately? I suggest you do because you’ll find that you’re not the perfect princess you seem to think you are. You need to apologise to Irene and I suggest you do it before she has a total mental breakdown,” Nate finished. April gulped loudly and lifted her hand to smack Nate right across the face. She knew that the way she had acted at Irene’s wasn’t okay and she was going to sort that in her own time when she felt it was necessary she didn’t need Nate letting everyone she worked with and all her patients know how terrible she was.

 

“I am fully aware that what I did to Irene wasn’t good Nate, but she was trying to tell me that you were a good person and I’m sorry but I don’t like being lied to. I’ll have you know that I love Irene more than my actual mother and I would do anything for her and I plan on fixing my mistakes quite soon actually. I made contact with nobody because I was in such a dark place I could only bring myself to talk to people that didn’t know Bianca so I didn’t have to look at sympathetic faces all of the time but you wouldn’t understand that because you haven’t been as low as I was back then. I haven’t made much contact with Irene since I got back because I didn’t want to be around you because you seem to be the source of all of my problems that I have here. Next time you want to have a go at me do it after work, otherwise you’ll get us both fired,” April said to him with so much anger in her voice. She stormed off in the direction of the staffroom leaving Nate to get on with whatever he was doing before their discussion.

 

 

April didn’t know whether a bouquet of flowers and a sincere apology would make up for her actions the previous night but she was going to give it a shot. April knocked loudly on Irene’s front door and waited patiently. April knew that would never be completely happy unless she made amends with Irene and if she was being honest with herself, Nate’s words got to her. She didn’t want to be seen as a monster, she didn’t want to be compared to him either. To be compared to Nate would mean that she only cared about herself and she knew deep down that that wasn’t the case but still Nate filled her all of these negative thoughts about herself. The door flew open and there was Irene in a pair of jeans and an old shirt, she had mud on her jeans and dirt covered her arms. April knew that Irene gardened when she wanted to calm down or when she wanted to drink. Irene blinked a couple of times and took the flowers out of April’s hand when she held them out to her.

 

“I just want to say I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you over the past few years, from the not replying to your texts or picking up your calls to last night when I completely flipped out on you. None of it has been fair on you and it’s all been because I’ve been having issues and instead of letting you in I shut you out completely. Before it was because of Bianca and Harley’s death and yesterday it was because I had just found out I’m expecting twins and Heath’s reaction was anything but happy but none of it is an acceptable excuse and I am so sorry for everything Irene. I know flowers can’t fix anything but I hope it at least helps a little bit,” April said shakily. She watched as Irene sniffed and smiled a sad smile at April. She wrapped her arms around her, April felt the flowers against her back and she could hear Irene’s cries.

 

“I can’t believe you’re going to become a mother, I’m so so proud of you darl. That sister of yours would be smiling down on you with that proud grin on her face, she’d be so happy that you’re moving on with your life. Bianca loved you with everything she had, most of her decisions were made with you very much in mind, she’s always wanted you to be happy and that hasn’t changed at all girly. So live your life the way you want to live it, you should let that boyfriend of yours know the same thing,” Irene said as she pulled away from April. April was sobbing horrendously now, she had needed someone to tell her that it was okay to be happy even though Bianca is gone and Irene just did that. Irene just said the things she had needed to hear for so long and she felt like a massive weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. She could be happy now that she knew she had someone looking down on her cheering her on from the clouds.

 

 

 

 

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