Chimera

[Ludub]

Thanks again to everyone for the comments! Much appreciated as always!  I really hope you all enjoy this chapter x

 WARNING: ADULT THEMES

 

Chapter 11

 

 

4 days later…

“How long has he been in there now?!” asked Josh, jittering his knee up and down nervously and glancing over at Evie as they sat in the waiting area. “It wasn’t meant to take this long, was it?!”

Evie looked up from the magazine that she was pretending to read and gave him an icy stare. “It’s an aneurysm, Josh! He’s not having an ingrown toenail removed! It’ll take as long as it takes!” she snapped at him. “I don’t even know what you’re still doing here. When he wakes up he won’t be your boyfriend anymore! You know that, right?!”

“Okay, Evie!” he said, shaking his head with a hurt expression and then looking away. “I’m just worried about him, okay?! …I can’t just walk away.” he muttered quietly.

“You should be more worried about what he’s going to say when he wakes up and finds out what the two of you have been doing!” she said, continuing to stare down at her magazine, but flushing a little red in anger. “He’s not gonna be a happy Oscar!”

“I’m sorry, Evie!” he said, glancing at her apologetically and blushing a little with embarrassment. “I was asleep! I’ve told you that! …I didn’t know what he was doing! …I never meant for any of this to happen!”

“But it did!” growled Zac, who was sitting beside her and staring across at Josh with a look of pure disdain. “And we’re gonna have to explain to him why we let you take advantage of him! How do you think he’s going to feel about that?!”.

“We didn’t do anything!” exclaimed Josh, shaking his head at them emphatically. “I would never have let it get that far!”

“It went far enough!” snorted Zac, a little angrily. “And we had to sit there and watch it! Seriously, Josh?! What were you thinking?! You let him put his hand down your… I mean… you knew he was ill, Josh!”

“Zac!” scolded Leah, putting her hand on his knee and looking at him with a pained expression. “Getting angry at Josh isn’t going to change anything! What’s happened has happened… and we should be blaming Delaney… not Josh!”

Zac snorted loudly in derision, getting up and starting to pace back and forth pulling at his hair.

“We just have to focus on Oscar now” she continued, looking around at all of them, “…and you know what the doctors said… They don’t know what way Oscar is going to wake up!” She looked across at Josh, as he sat on his own on the seats across from them. He looked so thoroughly miserable. She tilted her head at him a little pityingly and sighed, “If he’s still Evie when he wakes up… then we’re really gonna need you here!”

Josh sat forward and put his head in his hands, letting out a loud sigh of frustration. “This is such a nightmare!” he groaned, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!”

“You could try not molesting my nephew” said Zac, laughing a little bitterly, “I can’t believe you let him do that!”

“How many times, Zac?!” shouted Josh, getting to his feet and scowling at him angrily. “I didn’t know what he was doing! I was asleep! You saw that I was asleep! …I stopped him as soon as I woke up! ...And you saw that too!”

Zac let out a ‘pfff’ of disbelief and turned around to glare angrily at Josh. “Not soon enough!” he growled in Josh’s face.

“Okay, this isn’t helping anyone!” exclaimed Leah, getting up and putting herself between an angry looking Josh and Zac as they faced off against each other. “Sit down!” she ordered, pointing at the seat for Josh to sit down again. She turned to Zac and pulled him back towards the seat where they’d been sitting. “Oscar is going to need all of us when he wakes up.” she reasoned, gently turning Zac’s face with her hand to make him look at her instead of Josh. “It’s no use everyone being at each other’s throats! Do you think he’d want that?!”

“Can everyone just shut up?!” shouted Evie, glaring at all of them and covering her ears with her hands. “Oscar’s the one that matters here… Just shut up! All of you!” She stared across at Josh and said, “And if you’re gonna stay, I’d appreciate it if I didn’t have to listen to you!”

They all fell silent.

Josh looked across at Evie’s angry little face and wondered how it had come to this. Things had been relatively okay between them until a couple of days ago. She’d accepted that he was confused about his sexuality, and if anything, she’d been incredibly supportive and helped him come to terms with the fact that he was probably gay. She’d even thanked him for all his help with Oscar in convincing him to have the scans and supporting him when they then got the results. He’d been instrumental in getting him to agree to the surgery because they really hadn’t wanted to go down the ‘medical incompetency’ route and have to force him. It wasn’t like he could really give informed consent but forcing someone to have surgery against their will was something that everyone wanted to avoid. Oscar had been so frightened about the prospect of surgery but with Josh’s love and support he had eventually agreed. He and Evie had got to a point where they’d thought they might actually be able to remain friends when all of this was over. That was until she’d seen those videos! Now she seemed to think that he was some sort of pervert and all she’d done for the last couple of days was glare at him bitterly and make barbed comments. He couldn’t help feeling wounded.

The whole thing with Dr Delaney had really blown up in his face. It was beyond mortifying. The story had been leaked and it was all over the news and social media. Footage of the two of them in bed together was being played over and over again everywhere you looked. The amount of coverage it was getting was astounding, and while the focus was on the negligence of the hospital, there was a great deal of interest in the strange relationship between Josh and what was essentially a vulnerable adult. Images of Oscar in his girly pyjamas and makeup were being passed about for everyone’s amusement. There certainly didn’t seem to be much compassion or understanding in the world outside the hospital walls, or inside the walls for that matter! The whole family had been hiding in the hospital for the last two days trying to avoid the crowds of reporters outside the hospital doors, and security had had to be increased to keep snooping to a minimum.  The police investigation had kicked up a notch as well and now they were all having to answer very uncomfortable questions. Why had they played along with Dr Delaney’s strange requests and why had Josh been left unsupervised to sleep with someone in such an ‘altered’ and confused state? Having to sit there with all of Oscar’s family and watch the videos that Dr Delaney had recorded was probably the most humiliating experience of his whole life. And that was including the incident with the laptop a few days ago! The police, and everyone else, had made him feel like some sort of sexual predator and he’d started to wonder if maybe they were right. The more he thought about it, the guiltier he felt! He and Oscar hadn’t slept together but it hadn’t been for the want of trying on Oscar’s part. Evie and everyone else having to sit there and watch as Oscar made move after move was mortifying for all involved. But everyone had turned the blame on Josh for letting him behave like that, especially Zac. He began to wonder if maybe Zac was right. Maybe he really was a terrible person?! He had known that Oscar wasn’t well and yet he had still allowed himself to fall in love with him. He had allowed Oscar to become very intimate with him when he’d always known deep down that Oscar wasn’t capable of consent. Maybe he had just been taking advantage of a man in a very vulnerable state, like getting someone drunk at a party, or spiking their drink? Maybe there was something very wrong with him?!

He looked at his watch again and stared at the double doors hoping that the doctors would come back soon. All this waiting was making him feel sick with anxiety. The last thing he wanted was to have to sit here with the others, with them looking at him like this, but he knew that he couldn’t leave until he knew how Oscar was. He was so scared! What if Oscar was unlucky?! They’d said that 1% of patients died during the procedure, and 3-4% of patients suffered stokes or brain haemorrhages. As far as brain surgeries went, those were pretty good odds, but that was five people in a hundred! What if Oscar was one of the unlucky ones?! He didn’t know how he could ever deal with that! His heart hurt just thinking about it! The sad thing was that he knew he’d probably already lost him in all the ways that mattered. The doctors were hopeful that he’d come round as Oscar when he woke up, once they’d reduced the pressure in his brain, and that meant that the man that he was in love with would be gone. The more he thought about it, the more it felt like a bereavement. He’d tearfully kissed him goodbye and sent him into surgery, but it had felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest. In some ways he’d been sending him into surgery so that they could kill the person that he loved. Now he was just waiting to find out if it was true. Was he really gone?!

Suddenly the doors swung open and the neurosurgeon walked through the doors in his surgical scrubs and pulled the cap off his head. “It went well, guys” he said, giving them a big smile as he walked towards them, “No complications ...Exactly as planned.”

“Can we see him?!” asked Evie, now up on her feet and looking up at him with a nervous smile. “Is he awake?”

“Not yet” said the surgeon, “He’s in recovery… but we’ll send someone to get you when it’s okay to go in there… Not all of you at once though… He’s been through a lot!” He gave them a little smile and walked away to speak to one of the nurses.

 

*****

 

Evie limped into the recovery room, with Josh trailing behind her, and made her way over to her brother’s bed. He was still asleep and linked up to a heart monitor that was beeping away beside him. She let out a sigh of relief and lifted his hand in hers. “Oscar?” she murmured softly, reaching out gently to caress the side of his face, “Oscar, sweetie, can you open your eyes?”

Josh glanced at her a little nervously, wondering whether it was a good idea to call him Oscar before they knew what the state of play was. There was every chance that he could still be ‘Evie’ and calling him Oscar would just be thoroughly confusing for him, but he knew that he was probably just clutching at straws. The Oscar that he loved was probably already long gone. They’d just cut that version of Oscar out of his head with a scalpel and discarded him as medical waste. It made him feel sick to his stomach to think of someone doing that to the man that he loved and his heart was aching to think of what he’d just lost. It was as though Oscar had died and left him there feeling incredibly alone. As he looked at the man in the bed in front of him now, with his head shaved again and big staples savagely pulling his scalp back together, all he really wanted to do was to take him in his arms and hold him tight. He tentatively put his hand on Oscar’s shoulder and sat down on the chair beside the bed. “Hey” he said in a soft voice, watching him for any signs of consciousness, and softly squeezing his shoulder, “Can you open your eyes?”

Oscars eyes slowly began to flutter open and he gave a low moan as he registered his discomfort and how woozy he felt. He slowly brought his eyes into focus and looked up at Evie with a pained half-smile. “Evie… I feel weird…” he whispered in a hoarse voice, squirming a little in the bed and grimacing in pain. He glanced at Josh on the other side of the bed and gave him a slightly questioning look as though he wasn’t quite sure why he was there, before turning back to Evie. “Mrrrrmmmmm….” he moaned, screwing his face up and gripping his sister’s hand a little too hard. “My head hurts! …It really hurts, Evie!” he whined through gritted teeth, “What happened?!”.

“I’ll get the doctor” said Josh, patting Oscar’s shoulder and nodding at Evie with tears in his eyes. “They’ll get you some more pain relief, Oscar. Don’t worry!” he assured him. He desperately needed to leave the room. He needed to get out right now! His heart was thumping in his chest and he felt like he was going to be sick. Oscar had called her ‘Evie’ and with that one word they had already got their answer! This was the real Oscar! The surgery had been successful and the real Oscar was back for good. The man that he had loved was really gone! He wondered what on earth he was going to do now?!”

As he left the room, he was in such a rush to get out that he nearly bumped into Zac who just gave him a dirty look. He and Leah were loitering outside the doorway and waiting their turn to go in. “He’s… he’s Oscar again” stammered Josh, avoiding eye contact. “He needs pain relief” he mumbled, blinking frantically and trying his best not to break down in front of them, “I’m gonna go get the doctor to give him something.” With that he walked away as quickly as he could towards the nurses’ station to try to find the doctor.

 

*****

 

Andy walked through the front door and was surprised to see Josh sitting there on the couch watching TV. Josh had been spending a lot of time at the hospital again the last few days and when he wasn’t there he was mostly hiding in his room and refusing to speak to anyone. He and Josh hadn’t managed to have a proper conversation since the laptop incident and he’d been feeling very guilty about how he’d reacted. Being mocked and laughed at had been the last thing that Josh had needed! He felt bad that he hadn’t really got a chance to apologise to him. Then all this stuff with the videos had hit and everyone under the sun was now aware of Josh’s sexual confusion and Oscar’s identity issues. It had been a stressful couple of days! He’d been having to defend Josh to anyone that would listen and try to shut down some of the nastier gossips. Even Ash had seen the videos and the two of them had ended up having a fight the other evening when he’d heard him joking about it to Phoebe. He understood why people found it funny, but at the end of the day, Josh was his brother and he would defend him to the end of the earth!

“Hey mate!” he called, walking over to the couch and sitting down beside him. “How you travelling?” he asked, tilting his head at him sympathetically and putting his hand on his shoulder.

“Fine” said Josh, keeping his eyes fixed on the TV and looking thoroughly depressed. “Want a beer?” he asked, reaching for one of the bottles in the cardboard holder on the table and handing it to Andy.

“Mate, we need to talk about things” said Andy, taking the beer bottle out of his hand and setting it back on the table.

“No, we don’t” said Josh, picking up the remote control and starting to flick through the channels. “Can you just leave it, Andy?! Please?!”

“Mate, I’m worried about you!” said Andy, taking the remote control from his hand and turning the TV off. “What happened with Oscar’s surgery today? Is he okay?”

Josh took a big gulp from his bottle of beer and swallowed it down before answering. He was still staring at the now grey TV screen and avoiding eye contact with him. “He’s Oscar again… It’s all over… like nothing ever happened” he said, in a very flat sounding voice.

“Oh, mate! I’m so sorry!” said Andy, leaning his arm on the back of the couch and resting his head on his hand. He’d known that this was coming, but now that it had happened, he could see how upset Josh was and he was decidedly worried about him.

“Like the last few weeks just never happened” he repeated in a very sad voice. He turned to look at Andy and gave a bitter and forced laugh. “Except for the small matter of those videos going viral…” he said, shaking his head sadly, “and the fact that my whole life has been completely derailed! …I was meant to be getting married, Andy! …Marriage, children… a life with Evie… Now, what do I have?!”

“Mate…” said Andy, giving Josh’s shoulder a little squeeze. He really didn’t know what else to say. Everything Josh had just said was true. In a few short weeks Josh’s whole life trajectory had been altered. It was going to take some time to come to terms with that, “Just because you’re gay, it doesn’t mean you can’t have all that! I mean, if you want… like, kids and stuff… You can still do all that stuff.”

Josh rolled his eyes at him and let out a snort of derision. “Yeah… right” he said, shaking his head in an exasperated sort of way.

“I don’t see why not!” said Andy, giving him a little smile. “Things are different now… you can still have all those things if you find the right guy.” Andy thought how weird it was to be having this conversation. Only a few weeks ago, he’d been sure that Josh was going to marry Evie and he’d never had even the slightest hint that Josh was gay. Now, here they were talking about gay marriage!

“I don’t know…” said Josh, staring at the grey TV screen again, “I don’t know if I feel like that… about other guys… I don’t know what I feel…” He started to blink really fast as the tears began to well up in his eyes. “I just want Oscar… and he’s gone.”

“I know, mate” said Andy, tilting his head at him in a pitying sort of way. “I know.”

“What am I going to do, Andy?” he groaned, “I don’t know what’s going to happen when Oscar finds out about all of this.”

Andy nodded sadly and gave a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, mate… He’s okay though, yeah?” he asked, “The surgery went okay? He’s walking and talking and everything?”

Josh shrugged and let out a big sigh. “I left” he said, “He called Evie ‘Evie’…I just had to leave!” He leaned his elbow on the side of the couch and covered his face with his hand. “I lost him, Andy… He’s gone!”

“You knew this was going to happen, Josh.” said Andy, in a soft and sympathetic voice. “I know it’s not easy… but Josh, you know it was the aneurysm that was making him that way…”

“I know that, Andy!” snapped Josh, “but I loved him! I loved him, Andy!” He hid his face in both hands and started to cry. “He’s gone … he’s just gone! …It’s like he died today! Someone just opened up his head and scooped out the part of his brain that made him… ‘him’ …I feel like my boyfriend just died and I can’t even mourn him… It’s just… It’s just…” He looked up at Andy again and wiped angrily at his eyes. “What am I supposed to do now?!”

“I don’t know, mate” sighed Andy, reaching over and pulling Josh in against his chest. “I’m so sorry, Josh… I’m sorry” he said, as he held him. He just wished that he could do something to help him.

After a minute or two, Josh pulled away from the hug, looking embarrassed and wiping at his tears with the heels of his hands. “What’s the point in anything?” he asked, staring down at the floor and picking up another beer. He took a slug of beer and glanced at Andy out of the side of his eye. “You must be so embarrassed to be related to me…” he growled through gritted teeth, “All those people laughing about me and making fun… and now I’m sitting here crying about my boyfriend like some little girl!”

“Hey, mate!” said Andy, looking at him with concern, “You’re my brother and I don’t care what anyone is saying about you!” He put his hand on Josh’s arm and said, “I’m proud of you… It takes a lot of guts to…”

“To what?!” snapped Josh, laughing a little bitterly, “To come out?! …Oh yeah! Brave, brave Josh!”

“Yeah, Josh! It does, it takes guts… and you shouldn’t be ashamed…” he said, shaking his head at him. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of!”

“You seemed to think it was pretty funny the other day!” exclaimed Josh, getting to his feet and glaring at Andy in anger. “I heard you, out here, laughing your head off!”

Andy blushed a little and gave Josh an apologetic look. “Sorry, Josh” he said, “It… it wasn’t because it was… y’know? …It was …I was just a bit shocked.”

“Yeah, well, you must think my latest videos are pretty entertaining then!” scowled Josh, shaking his head at Andy in a disappointed kind of way. “Oh, haha! Josh is in bed with a guy! So funny!”

“C’mon, Josh! You know I’m on your side! …I’m always on your side!” pleaded Andy, shaking his head at him. “I’ll always have your back no matter what!”

“I know” said Josh, staring down at the floor. “I just need some time to myself, I think.”

“Look, Josh” he said, turning to look at him over the back of the couch, “I’m always here if you need to talk.”

 

*****

 

“So, wait a minute?!” said Oscar, looking at Evie like she was making things up, “You’re trying to tell me that there was an explosion at the fundraiser, and it was like 4 months ago… and I’ve only just woken up?!”

“Ummmm…” said Evie, glancing at Leah and Zac before answering, “Uhhhh… You woke up about five weeks ago but you were a bit… confused” She lifted his hand in hers and looked at him with her head cocked to one side sympathetically, “You haven’t really been… you… Not for a while now.”

“So, what… I’ve been like… what? Like a vegetable?!” asked Oscar, turning to look at Leah and Zac. “What, just like... sitting here drooling?!”

“No, honey” said Leah, leaning in and caressing the side of his face, “You were awake… but you weren’t really you… That’s why they had to operate. You had an aneurysm in your brain and it was bulging and putting pressure on your frontal lobe… It was affecting your… your personality and… and your memory.”

“An aneurysm?” he asked, lifting his hand and gingerly touching the wound on his head. He recoiled partly from the pain but also from the shock of feeling the multiple staples that they’d used to close his wound. “So… so you’ve all been dealing with some weird, other version of me?” he asked, shaking his head and staring down at his bedcovers in a vacant way, “This is just really hard to take in, guys.”

“You’re back now” said Zac, giving him a relieved smile, “You have no idea how happy I am to be able to say that…” He patted Oscar’s foot and added, “You’re gonna be okay now, don’t worry, mate!”

“So… what kind of things have I been doing then?” he asked, glancing around at all the worried faces. “I mean, if I’ve been awake but I was some other ‘me’, what have I been doing? Who did I think I was?!” He could see how nervous everyone looked so he decided to try to lighten the mood, “Don’t tell me I thought I was Batman or something?!”

Evie looked down and he could see that she was gradually going red in the face in an embarrassed sort of way. Zac and Leah looked equally shamefaced so he began to worry.

“What?! …Am I close?!” he asked, laughing a little nervously. “Star Trek?! I didn’t think I was Captain Kirk, did I?” He looked around at them and began to feel a little panicky when no-one seemed to want to say anything. “Seriously, guys! You’re freaking me out now! … Can you just tell me what I did?!”

Zac cleared his throat and gave Leah and Evie a knowing look. “Mate, you were just behaving a bit out of character… We knew it wasn’t really you.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t worry about it” said Evie, giving him a little smile. “Just think of it like being drunk… and now you’ve sobered up.”

“Great!” exclaimed Oscar in a sarcastic tone, and frowned at Evie, “So… who do I owe an apology to then?!”

She looked at him with a confused expression and glanced across at the other two. “Why… why would you need to apologise?” she asked him.

“Anytime I’ve been really drunk, I’ve woken up the next the day and I’ve had to apologise to everyone” he said, giving her a nervous smile. “If I’ve been acting like a drunk person for a month then I reckon I probably need to apologise to half the Bay!”

“No, sweetie!” said Leah, stroking his arm in an effort to comfort him, “There’s no-one you need to apologise to!”

He nodded at her in a way that said that he didn’t believe her and then he looked down frowning a little at all the wires and tubes attached to him. “Can I have a mirror?” he asked, looking at Leah’s handbag and grimacing a little, “I want to see what they’ve done to my head.”

Leah nodded at him a little sadly and rummaged through her bag for her compact mirror. Before handing it to him, she tilted her head at him and said, “It looks worse than it is… It’ll heal, sweetie… and your hair will grow in again, okay?”

He nodded and took the mirror from her. As he tilted the mirror so he could see his head, he let out a loud gasp and covered his mouth with his hand. “I look like Frankenstein’s monster!” he said, tilting the mirror as best he could.

“It’ll be okay, Oscar!” said Evie, putting her hand on his knee. “It healed in well the first time and you could hardly see it! No-one will know when your hair grows back in.”

He shrugged a little and blinked back a few tears. “Who says I can’t rock a kickass scar?!” he said, forcing a smile, “maybe I’ll learn to like it.”

“Yeah, maybe” said Evie, smiling from ear to ear. “I’ve missed you so much!” she said, throwing her arms around him and pulling him into a hug, “This has been so hard… I don’t know what I would do without you!”

“Hey, I’m here!” he said, hugging her back and glancing at Leah and Zac in a worried kind of way. “I’m not going anywhere, okay?!” After a moment he pulled back from the hug and looked around the room, shaking his head in confusion. “I feel… I feel… weird” he said, giving a little sigh, “I feel… like someone important is missing… like someone should be here… but they’re not?” He looked at Evie with a pained expression on his face, “It’s like… I don’t know… I feel like there’s someone I miss… like I’m lonely?”

Evie glanced at Leah and Zac again with a worried expression. “Is it Maddy?” she asked a little cautiously, “You remember that you two broke up, right?”

He nodded and leaned back against the pillows. “Yeah, Evie, I remember, don’t worry.” he said, shaking his head and staring down again at the bedcovers. “It’s not Maddy… I can’t explain it… It just feels like I’ve lost something.”

[Ludub]

Thank you to everyone for all your support and for always taking the time to comment  I’m really nervous about this chapter because it’s… well… it’s very different from anything I’ve ever written before! I’m not sure where this came from but I think it makes sense in the context of the story and is more comedic than anything else… I really hope so anyway… Just in case, I’m going to put a BIG red warning …because… well… you’ll see…

 

WARNING!!!!: VERY ADULT THEMES AND STRONG SEXUAL CONTENT!!!  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

 

Chapter 12

 

Oscar ran his hand gently over the pale skin on the man’s chest, enjoying the feel of the muscled flesh as it shivered under his fingertips. The man’s body shuddered a little as he trailed his fingers down his chest and onto his stomach. The man was pretending to be asleep, but every little shudder and shiver that he gave betrayed his growing excitement, like small electric shocks passing through his body. He smiled at the man as they lay side by side in the bed, him on his side leaning over to trace patterns on the man’s skin, and the man lying on his back with his eyes closed.  He reached out, running his fingers through the man’s messy dark hair, and cradled the back of his head to pull him up towards him. As their lips made contact, he jumped a little as he felt the heat of the man’s hand suddenly making its way up his inner thigh. He couldn’t help smiling in anticipation but he decided to delay the moment a little while longer, and reached down to pull the wandering hand away. Gently pushing him onto his back again, he climbed over so he was hovering above him, and gazed down into his big brown eyes. He leaned down to kiss him on the neck and slowly worked his way, planting soft little kisses on his salty skin, down towards the waistline of his shorts. He paused for a moment, looking up at him with a mischievous grin, and then…

“Oscar!” cried Evie, giving his shoulder a shake and peering down at him in concern, “Oscar, wake up! It’s okay! It’s just a nightmare!”

“What?!” exclaimed Oscar, sitting bolt upright and staring at her wide-eyed and startled. His heart was thundering in his chest, partly from the dream, and partly from the shock of being woken so abruptly. The room was still dark but there was some light coming in from the hallway. He could just about make out the outline of her worried face. “I wasn’t having a nightmare!” he said, blinking and trying to bring his eyes into focus, “What are you doing?! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!”

“Sweetie, you were moaning in your sleep, like you were in pain!” she said, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Is your head hurting you again?! Do you need me to get the nurse?!”

He glanced down, hurriedly pulled his legs up towards him, and crossing his arms to cover his crotch. Memories of the dream were still fresh in his mind and he couldn’t hide his shame at the thought of what Evie had just interrupted. “No! I’m fine, Evie!” he growled, “It’s the middle of the night! What are you doing creeping about my room?!”

“I was worried about you, so I stayed in the relatives’ room… I just wanted to check that you were okay.” She looked at his reddened face with concern and reached a hand out to put it on his forehead, “You look like you have a fever, Oscar! You’re all sweaty and your face is all red! Are you sure you don’t want me to get a doctor?!”

“I’m fine!” he snapped, pulling his head away from her and scowling at her a little angrily. His face burned bright red from the embarrassment of it all. This was so humiliating! The last thing he wanted right now was his sister pawing all over him! “You’re being really weird, Evie!” he whined at her, “How would you like it if I snuck up on you when you were sleeping?!”

She ignored his protests and put her hand on his chest to feel the material of his T-shirt. “Oscar!” she said, shaking her head at him in concern, “Your T-shirt is completely soaked through …and your heart is beating really fast!” She put her hand on the mattress behind him and found that the bedsheets and pillow were soaked with sweat too. “Seriously, Oscar! You have a fever! I’m getting one of the doctors!” she said, turning to leave.

“Wait, Evie!” shouted Oscar, shaking his head and rolling his eyes at her in frustration. “I don’t need a doctor, Evie!” he said, putting his face in his hands in an exasperated way and then beckoning for her to come back. His face blushed an even brighter shade of red as he stared down at his bedsheets in shame. “I wasn’t having a nightmare, Evie…” he sighed, glancing up momentarily in a shamefaced sort of way but unable to maintain eye contact with her. “And I don’t have a fever… I was dreaming… and it was… um… Well, let’s just say it was…” He glanced up at her again and gave her a very embarrassed half-smile that was more like a grimace. “It was… the opposite of a nightmare, okay?!” he mumbled, wishing that the ground would open up and swallow him.

She frowned at him for a moment, looking a little confused, but then her eyes began to widen as she grasped what it was that he was trying to tell her. Suddenly she was in no doubt about what she’d walked in on. She bit her bottom lip trying her best to hide her amusement when she noticed the way that he was sitting. “Oh my God!” she exclaimed, covering her mouth in shock and starting to giggle, “I’m so sorry, Oscar!” Her shoulders began to shudder up and down and she actually gave a loud snort, like a little piglet, as she tried not to laugh.

He had glanced up at her looking thoroughly embarrassed at first, but as she began to laugh, and he heard the ‘pig-like’ snort, he couldn’t help laughing too. “You really shouldn’t wake people up when they’re having that sort of dream!” he laughed, putting his hand to his forehead and shaking his head in an exasperated sort of way, “Seriously!”

“I’ll try to keep that in mind!” said Evie, holding her hands up and backing away from him for comedy effect. She looked at her hands, wrinkling up her nose in mock disgust, and said, “I might just go wash these.” She walked over to the door, and as she went to close it behind her, she leant back into the room for a moment and gave him a little wink, “I’ll let you get back to whatever you were dreaming about… whoever she is!”

He listened to her footsteps as they faded into the distance and his heart thumped as he thought about her final words. “Whoever ‘she’ is” The details of his dream were already beginning to fade, but the one thing that he was absolutely sure of, was that it hadn’t been a ‘she’. He’d been dreaming one of those dreams about a man! Some aspects of the dream were still so vivid and life-like but others had disappeared into a distant blur, like something half-remembered. The face had long since faded from his memory but the body definitely hadn’t! He didn’t think that he’d ever dreamt about having sex with a man before but everything about it had seemed strangely ‘right’! He was shocked, and surprised at himself, but not disgusted. If he was really honest with himself, it had probably been the best dream that he’d ever had! When he thought about it now he still felt a little excited, and more than a little resentful towards Evie for waking him. He shook his head at himself, wondering what on earth was going on in this scrambled brain of his. He put his hand up and ran his fingers gently over the line of staples forming a horseshoe shape on his head and wondered what those surgeons had done to him in there! What other changes had they made? Could the head injury or the aneurysm surgery really have made him gay?! On the other hand, maybe he’d always been gay and he’d just never realised?! There had been that swimming coach when he was really little that he’d sort of ‘hero-worshiped’… He’d sometimes wondered about that… And very occasionally, he’d found himself looking at other men’s torsos, particularly the Braxtons, but he’d always told himself that he was just admiring their physiques and wishing that he looked that way too…

He eyed the cannula in the back of his hand and followed the IV line back to the drip beside the bed. He knew that he was still being given pretty hefty doses of pain relief post-surgery and that it usually made him feel pretty strange after. He opened and closed his mouth, smashing his upper and lower jaw together and then ran his tongue over the back of his teeth. His mouth still felt strange and numb, and his tongue felt clumsy and full of pins and needles. He glanced around the room and realised that he couldn’t see anything clearly that was much more than a few feet away, and everything had an ‘other-worldly’ feel to it, like it was much further away than it really was. The green light on the heart monitor was all bleary, like in a time-delayed photograph, and he couldn’t make out the numbers on the screen unless he squinted really hard. Yep! He was pretty out of it, he realised! Maybe that dream didn’t really mean anything?! Maybe he was just getting carried away and over-analysing what was probably just a wacky drug-induced dream? That had to be it! The more he thought about it, the more he figured it was probably the most plausible explanation. Everyone knew that morphine made people a little nutty! That was probably it! …So he was having gay sex dreams! So what?!

He lay back down on the pillows, squirming a little with discomfort, and trying to ignore how sweaty and clammy he felt. ‘Just go to sleep’ he told himself, trying to calm his breathing and relax. He shook his head at himself in wonder and giggled a little, realising that more than anything else, he was hoping to drift off again and find ‘the man’ waiting for him in the land of nod. Part of him was a little shocked and disgusted at himself, but another couldn’t deny how much he’d been enjoying that dream. He figured that if that was where his drug-addled mind took him, then he might as well go with it! People dreamed about all sorts of weird things and none of it really meant anything! Was it so wrong to want to feel that kind of excitement and pleasure again, especially if no-one else would ever know?! He just hoped that this time they wouldn’t be interrupted…

The heavy metal door of the shipping container clanged shut and they were suddenly plunged into the gloom again, locked in the sweltering and breathless heat. They huddled together, crouched with their backs against the hot metal of the sweatbox that they’d been calling home for the last few weeks, and eyed the meagre food supplies and water bottles that they’d been left to survive on.  Oscar looked up at Kyle with tears rolling down his cheeks and wiped them away angrily with the back of his hand. “I don’t want to die in here!” he whispered, shaking his head at him in despair. “You won’t!” promised Kyle, razzling his hair a little and hugging him a little tighter towards him. Oscar glanced up at him, feeling a little embarrassed, but thinking that he needed this little bit of physical contact and tenderness more than anything in the world right now. He was still frightened, but somehow, having Kyle's strong protective arms around him was making him feel a little better. He liked the feel of his muscular body wrapped around him, holding him close, and keeping him safe from the world outside. As he looked up at him he slowly became aware of a change in energy. Kyle was gazing at him in a way that he'd never seen him look at him before. There was something fierce and exciting about his gaze, like a predator regarding its prey. The hair on the back of his neck stood up and his stomach gave a little quiver of excitement. He’d never noticed how beautiful Kyle’s eyes were before or how soft and inviting his lips looked! At the same time, it was like looking into the face of a lion or an alpha wolf. There was something so dark and brooding about him, like he might just as easily kill you as kiss you. A strange smile passed over Kyle’s face, and his eyes flashed with excitement as he began to pull in a little closer. Their lips connected in a soft and tentative way, and Kyle pulled back to look at him for a moment with a mischievous little smile, before leaning in again with a little more urgency.  Suddenly he was on his back, and Kyle was on top of him, pinning his hands above his head and kissing him in a frenzied kind of way. He gave an involuntary moan as he felt the full weight of Kyle's hard muscular body on top of his, and his heart began to race as he realised what was happening. Kyle sat up all of a sudden, smiling down at him and straddling him, as he pulled off his own T-shirt, before reaching down to pull Oscar’s top off for him too. Without meaning to, Oscar gave a surprised giggle, blushing a little, as he gazed up at Kyle's tanned and toned physique. His own body was shivering with anticipation as Kyle devoured him with his eyes. He'd never felt more attractive or desired, but in some ways he felt like a piece of meat. Kyle moved forward with a sudden urgency, holding himself up on both arms so he was hovering above him, and then leaned down to kiss him. Oscar tangled his fingers in Kyle’s hair, pulling him down towards him, and enjoying the feel of Kyle's scratchy stubble against his skin. Kyle pulled away from him and began to gently kiss his chest while gazing up at him with a soft little smile curling on his lips. Oscar closed his eyes, giving a low moan, and when he eventually opened his eyes again, he was startled to see that Kyle had transformed into Josh! It was Josh who was gently nibbling on his flesh, and teasing him with the heat of his breath, and the cruel pinch of his teeth against his skin. It was Josh whose hands were wandering all over his body in that electrifying way and setting his stomach all a flutter! Suddenly, Josh put his hand around Oscar’s bicep and began to squeeze really hard, digging his fingers into the flesh, with an unexpected viciousness. Oscar glanced at his own arm, wincing a little and thinking that this wasn’t a particularly sexy element of Josh’s foreplay. It kind of hurt… and not in a good way!

“Sorry, Oscar!” said the nurse, smiling down at him and continuing to inflate the blood pressure cuff around his arm. “I was hoping I wouldn’t wake you…” she said, glancing down at the tent-like shape in his bedcovers and smirking at him. “You seemed like you were enjoying that dream!”

He glared at her and covered himself as best he could with his free hand. Couldn’t a man have a dirty dream without someone interrupting it at the worst possible moment?! “Why c-can’t you p-people leave me a-alone?!” he asked, blinking and trying to focus on her face. His vision was incredibly blurry and he couldn’t bring his eyes into focus no matter how hard he tried. His bed felt like it was saturated with sweat and he was shaking violently. “I jussst want… to ssssleep… but you p-people k-keep c-coming in here …and w-waking me up!”

She glanced at him with a look of concern, removing the blood pressure cuff, and lifting her thermometer to check his temperature. He squirmed, pulling away from her a little as she stuck the thermometer gun in his ear, and he pulled his arms around himself as he shivered and shook. His heart was racing in his chest and he was clearly a little short of breath.

“40.5!” she exclaimed, peering at his flushed red face. “I’m going to have to get a doctor for you! I think you might have a bit of an infection.”

“Nn-no” he stammered, with his eyes rolling a little in his head, “I’m fffffine, honestly… I just want to go to ssssleeep!” He flopped back onto the bed and began to breathe very heavily. He rolled over, hugging his arms across his chest, shivering and shaking, and closed his eyes for a moment.

“Oscar, I’ll be back in a minute, okay sweetheart?” said the nurse, turning and walking quickly out of the room.

Oscar sat at a small table in a police interview room, leaning his head in his hands, and waiting for the cop to come in and interrogate him. He knew that they were out there behind the two-way mirror watching him and letting him sweat. He ran his fingers over the line of large metal staples on his scalp, counting them as he went, and giving a huff of frustration when he lost count at 22. He could never keep count properly for some reason and would always have to start again. He looked down at his clothing and wondered at his own strange choice of attire and questionable personal hygiene. This wasn’t how he would normally dress! He seemed to be wearing some strange combination of purple trousers and a green waistcoat, with a shirt and tie. Nothing seemed like it had been washed or ironed for quite some time. He glanced up at the mirror in front of him, and nearly jumped out of his skin when he caught sight of his own appearance. His face was coated in a thick layer of greasy white makeup and his eye sockets were painted black. There was an ugly ragged scar spanning his face from one side of his mouth to the other, and his mouth had been messily painted red. He got up from the table and nervously approached the mirror to take a better look. “The Joker!” he said to himself under his breath, as he turned his face this way and that, and pulled at the white skin of his own face. He tried to smear the makeup but it wouldn’t budge. It was like it was tattooed on. He was the Joker! The only difference was that he didn’t have that mop of unwashed curly hair. His head had been shaved right down to the scalp and the scar from his craniotomy surgery was still red and raw and pulled together by a frightening train track of large metal staples. It went well with his new look! He had to give himself that! Suddenly the door swung open and a figure dressed in a heavy black armoured costume walked through the door and fixed him with a steely stare through the black mask that was covering the upper portion of his face. Oscar backed away instinctively as the dark and ominous figure closed the door and then moved towards him. Suddenly he found himself knocked to the floor and the dark figure was lying on top of him and breathing menacingly on his face. “Tell me where she is!” growled a deep and gravelly voice, and a hand reached out and closed around his throat in a threatening sort of way. He could feel the armoured body pressing down heavily against his own and he couldn’t help feeling that there was something vaguely sexual about it all. Batman had him pinned on the floor and was staring at him now with an intensity that he’d never experienced before. He gazed at the lower portion of his face, that wasn’t covered by the mask, and felt overpoweringly drawn towards his mouth. All he wanted to do was kiss him. He wanted to kiss Batman! He also knew that this Batman was Andy. This was Josh’s brother, with his big wide shoulders and muscular build, and his mouth of perfect white teeth. He would have known that smile anywhere, although he wasn’t smiling now. “Where is she?” he growled again, pressing down against him a little harder and crushing his ribcage. “Who?” he whispered, finding it hard to breathe. “You know who!” he snarled in his ear, leaning his face in beside Oscar’s head, and allowing him to feel his hot breath in his ear. “She’s dead” whispered Oscar, suddenly aware that what he was saying was true. He didn’t know how he knew that Hannah was dead. He just did. He didn’t want to think about it! It filled him with a deep sadness, and all he wanted now was for someone to take him in their arms, and help him forget about it for a little while. Seeing the man in the mask flinch a little, and loosen his grip, he tentatively reached up to take the mask off his face. “Josh!” he exclaimed, looking up at him in a startled sort of way, “But I thought…?” he began to say, furrowing his brow at him in confusion. “Shhh!” said Josh, stopping his mouth with a kiss.

He opened his eyes and found himself gazing into Josh’s sleeping face beside him in the bed. He gave a sigh of relief that it had only been a dream and rolled over onto his other side. Reaching behind him, he took hold of Josh’s hand, interlacing their fingers, and pulling his arm around his waist. Josh gave a soft little moan, pulling in behind him so they were spooning, and giving him a little kiss behind his ear. Oscar had never felt his body so cold, so he curled himself in as close as possible, desperately trying to warm himself with Josh’s body heat. His teeth were chattering loudly, and he was shivering and sweating all at the same time! It was making him feel a little better having someone there to make him feel safe, but his body was aching badly, and he couldn’t stop the shaking.

“Oscar?!” said Nate, holding Oscar’s wrist to check his pulse and peering down at him with a very worried expression. It was clear that his heart was beating much too fast and he was evidently burning up! “Oscar? Look at me! Please?!” he called, raising Oscar’s eyelid with his finger and shining his flashlight in his eye. “…Oscar?! Oscar, can you open your eyes and look at me?!”

Oscar opened his eyes and looked up at Nate with a very confused and startled expression. “W-wuh… what…?!” he stammered, glancing over his shoulder at Josh and elbowing him gently to wake him up.

“Oscar, can you tell me what your surname is?” asked Nate, noting Oscar’s unusual behaviour.

“Uh…” said Oscar, shaking his head and looking thoroughly vacant, “Ossscar?” he replied, slurring a little, “It’s Oscar.”

“No, Oscar, your surname? Can you tell me your family name?” asked Nate again, glancing in a worried way at the nurse. He could see that Oscar was very confused and his responses were very slow. Alarm bells were certainly ringing!

Oscar shrugged and closed his eyes again. “Mmmmrrrrrmmmm” he moaned, putting his hands on either side of his head and grimacing in pain.

“No, Oscar!” called Nate, shaking him by the shoulder again, “Oscar, can you open your eyes for me again?!”

He opened his eyes and stared up at Nate in a frightened sort of way, looking as though he didn’t have the faintest clue where he was or what was going on.

“That’s it Oscar… Now, do you know what year it is?” he asked, leaning on the bars on the side of the bed.

Oscar’s eyes rolled, and he gave a heavy sigh, turning to face Josh again. “M-make them go aw-awaay!” he pleaded, leaning his head on Josh’s shoulder and beginning to cry a little. Giving a pained little moan, he looked up into Josh’s big brown eyes and said, “P-please, Josh?! I’m just sssso tired! I just w-want to go to sleep!”

Nate stood beside the bed and watched in concern as Oscar talked to the empty space beside him. He seemed to think that Josh was there, and he was asking for his help, and trying to get him to answer all the questions for him. Hallucinations weren’t uncommon when a person had a high fever, and a temperature of 40.5C was very high indeed! A number of worrying possibilities were racing through Nate’s mind. An infection was the most likely thing but that could be any number of things, from a post-operative wound infection, to a brain infection from the surgery itself! He just hoped it wasn’t a fresh brain bleed. The last thing that Oscar needed was more surgery!

Nate rolled up his sleeves and nodded to the nurse for her to follow him into the hallway. “Can you page Dr Lee? Have him on standby in case this is a surgical emergency.” he said, crossing his arms across his chest and looking at her very seriously. “I’ll get onto radiology and see if we can get him an emergency MRI in the next half hour… I’m going to need to do a full blood workup as well and rush it through this evening. In the meantime…”

“What’s going on?!” interrupted Evie, suddenly appearing from inside the relatives’ room. “Is Oscar okay?!”

Nate shook his head and gave her a very worried look. “He’s taken a bit of a turn, Evie… I think he’s got an infection… He has a very high fever… We’re going to run some tests, run a few scans, and see what it is…” He gave her a little pat on the shoulder and said, “Try not to worry! Once we know what’s going on, we can start to treat it properly. We’ll get it sorted…”

“I knew it!” exclaimed Evie, frowning at herself in anger, “I knew he wasn’t well!” She glanced at the doorway to Oscar’s room and asked, “Can I go in? …Can I sit with him?”

He nodded and gave a little sigh, “Yes, Evie, that’s fine… But… You should know that he’s hallucinating… He’s um… he’s seeing…” He cleared his throat a little nervously and continued, “Evie, he thinks that Josh is in there with him!”

Evie rolled her eyes, giving a defeated sort of sigh and nodding her head a little sadly. She walked away from Nate and took a deep breath before she walked through the doorway to Oscar’s room. “Oscar? Oscar, sweetie?! It’s Evie…” she called out to him. “Oh, Jesus!” she exclaimed, suddenly reappearing again and blushing bright red. She stood outside his room with her back to the wall and covered her eyes in embarrassment. Some things just can’t be unseen!

[Ludub]

Thanks again to everyone for the very kind comments   Ooh! Look, it's another BIG red warning! I wonder what that means!?  Really hope you enjoy this chapter!

 

WARNING: VERY ADULT THEMES AND STRONG SEXUAL CONTENT!!!  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

 

Chapter 13

 

4 hours before Oscar’s dreams and MRI…

Josh began gathering empty glasses off the countertop and did a quick scan of the faces lining the bar to make sure that there was no-one waiting to be served. It was really quiet tonight! Just a few bored looking couples at the bar and a group of young guys having a low key buck's party for a particularly shy and geeky looking mate. Normally he didn't mind when it was quiet like this, but tonight he'd been hoping to lose himself in the hustle and bustle of serving at the bar, and to shut his own torturous thoughts off for a while. Now, with the bar as empty as it was, he couldn't stop his mind drifting off in the direction of the hospital and wondering how Oscar was. He hated not knowing. He hadn't seen him now for more than three days and they'd seemed like the longest and most depressing days of his life. Even worse than lying in that hospital bed, paralysed, and trapped in the darkness. And that was saying something! The truth was that he wanted Oscar more than he could begin to explain and not being able to be with him really hurt. His heart ached just thinking about him. He wanted him. He wanted to touch him, and to hold him, and to have him in the most intimate of ways. Any doubts that he'd had before had slowly been stripped away, and his head was full of detailed fantasies in which they tore each other’s clothes off and unashamedly explored each other’s naked bodies.  He'd never wanted anything more! He'd thought that he was in love with Evie, but he'd come to realise now that things between them had always been safe and comfortable, and a little boring. In some ways they'd been more like friends than lovers, and a future together would have meant settling into a staid and boring sex life for the rest of their lives. Things would have petered out before long, and they would have found themselves going through the motions, and trudging their way through a sexless marriage, while secretly resenting each other. He could see that now. His eyes had suddenly been opened to the possibility of something so much more exciting. He still loved Evie with all his heart but he realised now that he'd never really desired her body in the way that he did Oscar's. There had always been things that he didn’t want to do with Evie and he really didn’t think that he’d ever been particularly good in the bedroom department because he’d always been holding back. He realised now that she just hadn’t been the one that he wanted. Something had always been sadly missing! Oscar, on the other hand? There wasn’t anything that he wouldn’t do with him! He wanted to know every inch of Oscar’s body. He wanted to run his hands over his skin and kiss him all over. The thought of being with him in that way was deliciously exciting but he couldn't deny that it scared him too. The thought of sex with a man scared him. He wondered what it would be like when it really happened and whether he would really like it. The videos that he'd watched had excited him and terrified him in equal parts. Some of it seemed so rough and violent, and wasn’t really what he wanted things to be like with Oscar. He hoped that it wouldn’t be like that! He wanted tenderness and intimacy, and more of what they’d had together over the last few weeks, without having to pull away and hold back… But he worried that he was getting carried away with unrealistic fantasies, and that the reality would be something else entirely. Part of him wondered if this whole thing was more to do with the thrill of the unknown, rather than any real homosexual leanings. He'd never slept with a man before so how could he possibly know that it was what he really wanted?! Somewhere, instinctively inside him, he knew that it was, but how could he really know until he tried?

The one big problem with all of this was that Oscar wasn’t gay! He kept having to tell himself that! He’d often find himself lost in a fantasy, only for it to come to a shuddering halt with the realisation that it was never going to happen. It was like a kick in the guts, every single time. He was never going to get to be with Oscar ever again! The man that he was fantasising about had ceased to exist the moment that those surgeons had stuck their scalpels in. He was never going to get to lie beside the man that he loved again. He’d never get to hold him close. He’d never get to do any of the things that he wanted to. The Oscar that he loved had been taken from him and he was never coming back. The worst thing about it was that he’d still have to see him around the place. If he’d actually died, then he might have been able to come to terms with that eventually, but in many ways this was much worse. Oscar would be up and walking around soon, and they were bound to run into each other sooner or later. And God only knew how he would react when he found out about those videos and what had been going on without him knowing! Oscar would probably come storming in one day wanting to know why he’d taken advantage of him, and he’d have to look into the eyes of the man that he loved and defend his own ‘depraved’ actions. He didn’t know if he could do it. Just the thought of it was like someone reaching into his chest and ripping his heart out. But what else was he going to do? Run away?!

He looked around the bar again, wondering how many of these people had seen those videos, and glanced from face to face a little anxiously. He couldn’t help feeling paranoid. Every time someone laughed he couldn’t help wondering if they were talking about him. There’d been a few unpleasant incidents since he’d come back to work but it hadn’t been as bad as he’d feared. The new boss and most of the staff had been surprisingly supportive. They’d even stepped in to get rid of the teenage boys who’d been playing the videos loudly on their phones and calling him names. Phoebe had spoken up for him and dealt with some of the older people from the community who’d been looking at him and talking about him very disapprovingly. It certainly hadn’t been an easy couple of days but he’d been expecting much worse.

“Can I get 12 tequila shots?” said a young man who’d just approached the bar. He slid onto one of the stools and gave him a strange smile.

Josh nodded and turned to get the drinks. He was pretty sure that there was going to be some snide comment or maybe the group were gearing up to play some sort of prank on him. He was nervously bracing himself for it and glancing around to see where the waitress that was on with him tonight had gone. The guy had been sitting with the buck’s party and Josh had noticed him staring at him for a good part of the evening. When he’d taken a drinks order over to their table they’d made him feel more than a little uneasy because they’d all stopped talking and there’d been a lot of elbowing and knowing glances. He was pretty sure that they’d recognised him from the videos and part of him wished that they’d just come out and say it. At least if they began hurling abuse at him then he’d be well within his rights to throw them out. He began to pour out the tequila and glanced up a little anxiously at the man.

“It was you in those videos… in the hospital… wasn’t it?” asked the man, giving him a little smile and raising his eyebrows at him. “That was you?”

Josh set the tequila bottle down on the countertop and gave an exasperated sigh. “Yes!” he nodded, “It was! It was me! I’m the guy in those videos! I’m the one in bed with my fiancée’s brother!” He scowled at him and crossed his arms across his chest very defensively. He’d had just about enough of the teasing and for once he was going to stand up for himself. “So…? …What is it that you want?! You and your mates want to have a go?! What?!”

“Hey” said the guy, holding his hands up in front of him in a conciliatory sort of way, “I’m not having a go! …I just recognised you, that’s all.”

“Yeah, well…” snapped Josh, “You probably all think it’s really funny… Fine! Make fun of the gay guy if it makes you feel…”

“I’m gay!” said the man, interrupting him and starting to laugh a little. He waved his arm towards the table across the bar. “We’re all gay… That guy, over there? My mate? The one who’s getting married? He’s marrying his boyfriend next week…”

“Oh” said Josh, blushing a little and looking at the table in surprise. “I… I… just thought… The way you were all looking at me…”

“Well, yeah… we were looking at you because we’ve all seen those videos…” said the guy, smirking a little, “…and, well… they were laughing at me because they all know that I have a serious crush on you.”

“Uh” said Josh, staring down at the countertop and blushing an even brighter shade of crimson, “Um… Thanks… I guess?”

“I reckon there are plenty of guys who’d kill to be in that hospital bed with you.” he said, flashing him a big white smile, “I know I would!”

Josh didn’t know what to do. He felt like a rabbit caught in the headlights and he was suddenly unsure of where to look or where to put himself. The guy was looking at him in a way that no man had ever looked at him before. He could feel the man’s eyes mentally undressing him and his heart was racing with excitement and fear. He felt totally out of his depth.

“I’m Marco by the way” offered the man, reaching his hand out to him. Josh looked up at him, still looking a little startled and began to unfold his arms to shake hands. “Don’t worry, I don’t bite” said Marco, with a little wink, “Not much anyway”.

“Josh” he said, giving Marco his hand a little nervously. He looked at him and couldn’t help feeling flattered that a guy as good looking as this was interested in him. He had movie star good looks, complete with ridiculously white teeth, and a perfect tan. He could see that he had a toned and muscular body too, hidden under a very fitted shirt. His mind drifted for a moment to thoughts of running his hands over those muscles, and then he blushed bright red again when he realised that Marco could see him looking.

Josh looked down abruptly at the line of shot glasses that he’d only started to fill and pointed at them indicating to Marco that he was going to finish the drinks order for him. He began to pour out the tequila again, unable to stop his hands from shaking, and glancing up every few seconds at Marco. There was something very unnerving about being watched like this. He could feel his eyes on him, devouring him. He set the glasses with the salt and lemon onto a tray and handed it across the bar to Marco. There was no way he was bringing that tray over to the table now that he knew what the real situation was! He was terrified! Dealing with a table of homophobic drunkards was one thing, but dealing with a table full of gay men was something he was pitifully unprepared for. Not in these circumstances!

Marco took the tray and gave him another little wink. “It was good to meet you, Josh.” he said, as he turned to walk back to the table. There was a burst of laughter and a lot of cheering when he arrived at the table and a number of heads turned to look at Josh across the room.

Josh turned away, running his fingers through his hair, and blowing out a big breath. He felt like his whole body was shaking and his heart was thumping at an enormous rate. “Was this really what he wanted?” he began to ask himself, “Was this really something that he could do?!”

 

*****

1 hour after the MRI…

 

“Oscar! …Oscar, please let us in!?” pleaded Evie, as she peered in through the door to the medical supplies room. He’d been left unattended after they’d brought him back from the MRI scan and he’d disappeared from his room. Somehow he’d managed to make his way down the hall to a drug supply cupboard and he’d locked himself in. There was a small reinforced glass window that they could see through so they could see him huddled on the floor in his surgical gown, wide-eyed and staring like a madman. “Sweetie, the doctors only want to help you! You’re really sick!”

Nate looked at her and shook his head in a worried sort of way. “We really need to get him out of there now. He needs a lumbar puncture so we can start treating him.”

“Sweetie?!” she called again, peering in through the window at him, “Oscar?! Please?! Open the door for me. I promise, nothing bad is going to happen to you! I won’t let it!”

“They took him away from me!” shouted Oscar, in a loud and pain-filled voice, “They took him, Evie! I won’t let you trick me! I won’t!” He was holding his head in his hands and rocking back and forth, as he stared fearfully at the door.

“They took who, Oscar?! What are you talking about?!” she asked, looking at him in confusion. “Who did they take, Oscar?!”

“They took him, Evie! They just took him!” he cried, shaking his head with his hands clamped to either side. “I loved him!” he said, looking up at her suddenly with anger, “And they killed him! I’m not going to let them kill me!”

“Oscar! I don’t understand what you’re talking about!” she said, beginning to cry. She’d never seen Oscar like this before and it was really scaring her. He looked so strange, with his mad staring eyes, and his grey and sweaty face. She could see how ill he was and she was terrified that they wouldn’t get him out of there in time. What if he died now, after everything that they’d been through?! She’d thought that he was finally getting better! “Oscar! Sweetie, can you explain it to me?!”

He began to drag himself shakily to his feet, using the metal shelving as support, and slowly wobbled his way over to the door. Leaning against it so his face was right beside hers, he whispered, “Not with them there!” he rolled his eyes to indicate the others who were standing beside her, “They know we’re mutants, Evie! I’m not talking while they’re there!”

Evie glanced at Nate and the other doctors and nurses who had gathered around the door, and made a motion for them to do as Oscar asked and move away. Nate nodded and ushered everyone slightly further down the hall.

“Okay Oscar, they’re gone… Now tell me what’s going on.” she said, putting her hand on the glass and giving him a sympathetic smile. He’d said they were ‘mutants’. Oscar had made her watch all the X-Men movies with him, so she knew enough about them to know that he must be hallucinating something to do with that. He’d really lost it!

He put his hand on the other side of the glass, lining his fingers up with hers, and looked at her with frightened and tear-filled eyes. “They took Josh” he whispered, and his chin began to tremble as he tried not to cry, “They took him and they killed him… They were experimenting on him, Evie! …They held him down, and they… they sawed the top of his head off… I saw them do it! …They killed him, Evie! …and …and now they want to do the same to me!” He ran his fingers over the top of his head and winced at the feel of the staples holding his scalp together. “I think they’ve put something in here, Evie! They’ve put something in my brain and that’s what they want! Whatever it is, they want it back!”

“Oscar!” cried Evie, tilting her head to one side in pity. “Josh isn’t dead! Sweetie, he’s not!” she said, shaking her head at him. She wondered how it had come to this. “You’re just really sick, really sick… and you’re seeing things... things that haven’t really happened! No-one’s put anything in your head, sweetie! No-one’s hurt Josh either, he’s fine! …Josh isn’t dead, Oscar!... I promise you that!”

“Just like Hannah wasn’t dead either?!” he growled. He glanced sideways and saw Nate approaching again in a Magneto helmet and cape, and looked back at Evie narrowing his eyes at her in suspicion.

She gave a gasp of surprise because they still hadn’t broken the news to Oscar, so she didn’t know how he knew about her. “That was different, Oscar!” she said eventually, shaking her head at him sadly, “We just didn’t think you were ready to deal with that yet.”

He caught a yellow glow in her eyes just for a second and he realised that this wasn’t Evie! This was Mystique and they’d brought her in to try to trick him. It had almost worked too! “Liar!” he snarled at her through the glass and snatched his hand away. He hugged his arms around himself and began to shake again quite violently. “You’re not going to fool me, I know you’re not Evie!” he said, looking at her in despair and shaking his head, before stumbling back over to the corner of the small cupboard room and slumping onto the floor. “I’m not going to let you people kill me.” he mumbled to himself, grimacing in pain and gripping his head again. “I’m not!”

“Right, that’s it Evie!” said Nate, who’d been quietly listening a few feet away, “We’re going to have to try to break down the door!”

One of the security guards appeared with one of the larger fire extinguishers and began banging on the door as hard as he could, trying to break the part of the door where the lock was. It was a specially reinforced door, because it was a room that contained drugs and had to be completely secure, so it just wouldn’t give. Oscar couldn’t have found a more defendable place to hide and no one was sure how he’d managed to get in there without anyone realising. After a few minutes, the security guard gave up and set the extinguisher down. “I think… you’ll… have… to phone… the fire…brigade…”  he said, panting loudly.

“I have a better idea” said Evie, frowning to herself. “He thinks that Josh is dead and that we’re all lying to him about it… We’ll have to show him that he’s not.”

 

*****

 

“What am I doing?!” Josh asked himself, as he crashed through the door of the hotel room with Marco, “What am I doing?! Am I really going to do this?! With a total stranger?! Am I completely crazy?!” Marco pushed the door closed, and suddenly he found himself pushed up against it, with Marco’s body pressing heavily against his own. Everything was very frantic, and frenzied, and he’d never really kissed anyone like this before. His heart was beating so fast now that he felt a little breathless and he could feel his whole body flushed with adrenalin. Part of him wanted to run away, but the other part was filled with nervous excitement. He was actually shaking. “How is this happening?!” he asked himself, lost in the deep and passionate kiss, as he ran his hands over the muscles on Marco’s back, “All I was doing was going for a drink… How did I end up at a gay nightclub?! And how have I ended up in some guy’s hotel room with his hands all over me… about to have sex with him?! What are you doing, Josh?! What are you doing?!”

Marco pulled back from the kiss and gave him a knowing sort of smile. “This is your first time, isn’t it?” he asked, tilting his head at him in a sympathetic sort of way. “I mean… with a man?”

Josh nodded and began to blush, looking decidedly shamefaced and embarrassed. “Yeah… I… don’t know if I can… I don’t know…”

“Shhh” said Marco, leaning in and giving him a gentle little kiss on the lips. “Don’t worry.” He stepped back from him and pulled him away from the door. They began to kiss again, but this time in a much softer sort of way, with Marco running his fingers through Josh’s hair, and caressing the side of his face. He realised that he was gradually moving backwards, step by step, and they were making their way towards the bed. He was beginning to panic on the inside. He knew that he wasn’t ready for this! He wasn’t ready, and he didn’t really want it to be with someone that he didn’t know and didn’t love, but what was he going to do now?! He was already here. He was here and it was already happening! What was he going to do now?!

Marco pushed him backwards onto the bed, and slowly climbed on top of him, straddling him and smiling down at him in a tender sort of way. He watched as Marco began to unbutton his own shirt, slowly and methodically undoing each of the buttons, and then revealing a tanned and tattooed torso. His body was incredibly toned with very defined pectoral and abdominal muscles. “You can touch” said Marco, lifting Josh’s hand and placing it on his chest just above his heart. “Don’t be scared. I’m not going to hurt you” he said, leaning down and kissing him hard on the mouth again. He began to unbutton Josh’s work shirt, this time a little more urgently, while continuing to kiss him. He pulled the shirt off for him and threw it on the floor, before running his hands all over Josh’s chest, trailing his fingernails a little in a seductive sort of way. He watched as Marco moved back, raising himself on both arms, and started planting soft little kisses, slowly and tenderly, all over his chest and stomach. He paused for a moment over his gunshot scar and his eyes flicked up to look at him with a look of curiosity and concern. Then he kissed it gently and moved on.

“What the hell are you doing, Josh?!” he silently asked himself. “What on earth do you think you’re doing?!” It wasn’t that he wasn’t enjoying it. Part of him was, but his body was sending all sorts of conflicting messages, and he couldn’t decide what he was really feeling. He was enjoying the feel of this man’s body on top of his own, so strong and muscular, and in control. He liked the scratchiness of his stubbled face and each little kiss was like a burst of electricity coursing through his flesh. He couldn’t deny that it was exciting to be in this stranger’s bed, and to be doing something so reckless, but he was frightened too. His stomach was tying itself in knots every time Marco got too close to his waistband, and his heart was hammering in his chest with the thought of taking things further. And Marco was going to want to take things further! He knew where things were headed in the next few minutes and he didn’t know if he could really go through with it.

He froze stock still, and his stomach gave a terrible lurch, as he watched Marco sit back up and begin to fumble with his belt buckle. “Stop! I can’t” he shouted, looking at the door and wondering if he could make a run for it if he had to. With a sudden rush of panic, he sprung into a sitting position and pulled Marco’s hands away. “No! Stop!” he shouted, scrambling out from under him and falling off the side of the bed and onto the floor.

Marco, still kneeling on the bed, looked down at him in shock and held his hands up to him in an attempt to calm him. “Sweetheart! …It’s okay!” he said, tilting his head at him in concern, “Did you think I was going to force you?!”

“I just can’t, okay?!” snapped Josh, redoing his belt and staring around the floor to see where his shirt had ended up, “This was a mistake!” he muttered, jumping to his feet and pulling his shirt back on as quickly as he could. “I really need to go!” he said, heading for the door.

“Josh, I’m sorry, mate” said Marco, sitting on the side of the bed and shrugging at him apologetically, “I didn’t know you were so…”

Josh slammed the door on his way out, and stood in the hallway for a moment, shaking like a leaf and trying to calm his breathing. His heart was beating at a million miles an hour and he felt like he was going to be sick. He couldn’t believe that he had let things go so far! What had he been thinking?!

 

*****

 

“Oh! Hi, Evie!” exclaimed Andy, wiping at his sleep-filled eyes and gazing down at her in surprise as she stood on the doorstep. It was past 3am and she’d been frantically banging on the door for a while now. It had taken some time for him to understand what the noise was, because he’d just incorporated it into his dream, but he’d eventually woken up and staggered out to the living-room in his boxers to see what was going on. He wished that he’d put some more clothes on now. He could see that she looked upset almost immediately, but that wasn’t unusual these days with everything that was going on, and banging on their door like this in the early hours of the morning certainly didn’t suggest good news. “Hey?! Are you okay?!” he asked, putting his arm around her shoulder as she burst into tears on the doorstep.

“Is Josh here?!” she asked, hugging her arms around herself and looking up at him with big scared eyes. “I need him to come to the hospital with me! I need him to come right now!”

“Uhhh… I don’t know?” he said, looking in the direction of Josh’s room. “I haven’t seen him tonight… He wasn’t home when I went to bed.” He headed off down the hallway as fast as he could and knocked on Josh’s door. “Josh?!” he called before cracking the door open and peeking inside. The bed was empty and hadn’t been slept in. He turned around and ran back to Evie in the living-room. “No, he’s not here… That’s weird… Where would he be staying if he’s not at the hospital?” he asked, not expecting her to answer.

“I’ve been trying to call him but it just keeps going to voicemail” she said, staring at her phone. “This is a nightmare, Andy!” she said, turning to look at him with tears streaming down her face and her whole body shuddering as she cried, “Oscar is so sick… and we need Josh to come to the hospital… so Oscar can see that he’s not dead… and then maybe he’ll let us in” She shook her head at him with a look of pure anguish on her face and said, “Please, Andy?! You have to help me find him! I don’t want Oscar to die!”

“What? Wait! You’re not making any sense!” he said, taking hold of both her shoulders and bending down a little to look her in the eye. “Start from the beginning!” he said, leading her over to couch and sitting down beside her, “What’s going on?”

 

*****

 

Josh walked down the street towards his house and noticed that the lights were on in the living-room. He began to worry a little when he looked at his watch and saw that it was 4.14am, and he wondered why on earth the lights would be on like this in the middle of the night. He hoped that Andy had simply forgotten them, or that he’d fallen asleep watching TV, but there was something in the pit of his stomach that told him that something was wrong. He picked up speed and began to half jog in order to reach the front door a little sooner. He paused outside for a moment, catching his breath and steadying his nerves a little, in preparation for whatever new disaster was waiting behind this door.

“Josh!” gasped Evie, looking startled and looking over Andy’s shoulder as they lay together on the couch. She pushed at Andy’s shoulders to make him get off her and pulled herself quickly into a sitting position. Her hair was all over the place and her top was unbuttoned so he could see her bra. It was clear that they’d been making out, right there on his couch, and the look of shock and guilt on both their faces did little to hide that fact. Evie ran her fingers through her hair and began to rearrange her dishevelled clothing in an embarrassed sort of way. She turned to look at him eventually and shrugged her shoulders at him. “Sorry, you had to see that, Josh.” she mumbled, giving him an embarrassed little smile.

“Mate…” said Andy, lifting a cushion and covering his lap with it. He was still only wearing boxer shorts and he felt a bit exposed especially because of what they’d been doing. “I’m sorry, Josh! We didn’t… It just…”

“It’s okay” said Josh, shaking his head at them in a disappointed sort of way and walking past them out to the kitchen. Pouring himself a glass of water he leant his back against the kitchen counter, listening to their hushed whispers out in the living-room, and wondering at the fact that he felt genuinely angry. He knew that it didn’t make sense to be annoyed with them. He and Evie had broken up, because he was gay and in love with someone else, and she was free now to be with whoever she wanted. He didn’t have any right to be upset, especially considering where he’d been this evening… but he was! Why did she have to choose Andy?! Why did Andy have to choose her?! This whole thing was just getting far too incestuous and weird! He took a deep breath, drank down the glass of water, and walked back into the living-room. Evie was on her own now.

“He’s just gone to throw some clothes on” muttered Evie, pointing over her shoulder with her thumb and giving Josh a slightly embarrassed look, “He’ll be back in a minute.”

Josh sat down in the armchair and stared at the floor. “So… You and Andy?” he asked, raising his eyebrows and nodding his head slowly, “How long?”

“What?!” exclaimed Andy, as he walked back in wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He looked shocked and offended at the suggestion. “You think we’ve been having an affair?!”

“Well? …Have you?!” he asked, turning to glare at Andy. “This all seems so cosy and convenient, you two getting together …minutes after we broke up!”

“Josh… It was just tonight. We were…” Andy began to say, but Evie interrupted him.

“I don’t have time for this, Josh! You can throw your tantrums some other time!” she said, getting to her feet and lifting her coat. “You’re coming to the hospital with me right now…” she said, grabbing his wrist and pulling him up out of the chair, “Your boyfriend needs you!”

[Ludub]

Thanks once again to everyone for their very kind comments. It really does mean a lot to me. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

 

WARNING: ADULT THEMES

 

Chapter 14

 

 

“He’s in here!” called Evie, dragging Josh behind her to the drug supply cupboard that Oscar was locked in. She gave Nate an anxious smile and glanced in through the door at Oscar who was still huddled on the floor where she’d left him. He really didn’t look well.

Everyone made way for Josh, looking at him rather expectantly, and whispering, as though he had some special powers that would make Oscar open the door. He glanced around the faces a little nervously, and shrugged at Nate, approaching the door very tentatively. Evie had done her best to explain what was happening on the way over the hospital but the thought of seeing Oscar again was a little daunting. He’d been trying so hard to move on, and to give up on the possibility of them ever having a relationship, that having to come back here right now and pretend to be his boyfriend again was more than he thought he could cope with. If what Evie had said was true, then some of what had happened between them before his surgery must have lingered in his subconscious, and it seemed to be coming out now because of his illness. He was scared to let himself get attached again but he knew that there was no way on this earth that he could bring himself to refuse. Oscar was asking for him! Not the Evie version of Oscar, but the real Oscar! He wanted him there by his side! When it came down to it, this was his last chance to be with the man that he loved, and at least right now, in his delusional state, he actually wanted him there and needed him. How could he refuse to come? How could he abandon him now?! His heart was racing as he looked in through the glass, and he gave a gasp of shock when he saw how ill Oscar looked. With his shaved and butchered scalp, and his pale and sweaty skin, he looked like someone who wasn’t long for this world… but he loved him. He looked so small and vulnerable sitting there slumped on the floor with his head in his hands. All he wanted was to scoop him up in his arms and hold him tight. His heart ached just looking at him.  “What’s wrong with him?!” he asked Nate, with a look of horror on his face, “Is he going to be okay?!”

“We think it’s post-operative meningitis” said Nate, giving him a very worried look and crossing his arms across his chest. “But we won’t know for sure till we’ve done a lumbar puncture… Josh, we’re running out of time… we need to get him out of there right now so we can start treatment. He’s really not a well man!”

Josh nodded, and turned back to look through the little window at him. “Oscar?” he called, knocking on the door and holding the palm of his hand against the window glass. “Oscar, it’s me, Josh… Look at me, Oscar, please?!”

Oscar slowly lifted his head a little and squinted at the window trying to make out who was out there. His eyes widened in shock when he saw that it was Josh. He could see him on the other side of the glass in his blue armoured costume with the red and yellow ‘S’ on the front. For a moment, there was a look of hope on his face and he even began to smile, but it was quickly replaced with a look of suspicion and he shook his head and looked away again.

“Oscar, it’s really me… It’s me… I’m not dead!” pleaded Josh, stroking his hand on the glass and tilting his head at him in concern. “No-one did anything to hurt me.”

Oscar put his head in his hands and let out an anguished sort of cry. “I know you’re not really here…” he shouted, as tears began to stream down his face, “I know you’re all trying to trick me again!”

Josh glanced at the others who were standing around watching him, and gave them an embarrassed and self-conscious sort of look. He felt very exposed and under scrutiny being watched like this. “Could you… um… give us a minute? Please?!” he asked, looking at Nate and glancing at Evie a little nervously.

Nate nodded at him and turned to usher everyone away again. They’d called the fire brigade about 20 minutes ago so he figured they would be there soon. He hoped that Josh might be able to get him to come out earlier though.

“Oscar… baby… Can you please open the door for me? I can’t stand here and watch you like this… You’re really ill, baby… You’re shaking… You know you’re sick, don’t you?... They think you have meningitis… Think about it, you know how sore your head is… It makes sense, doesn’t it? …and you’re seeing things that aren’t really there… I think you know that, don’t you?” He looked at the man that he loved, as he sat there shivering and shuddering in his thin surgical gown on the floor of the little storage room, and he wanted so badly to take him in his arms. Oscar looked up at him again with tears in his eyes. Something in the way that he was looking at him now said that he was beginning to believe him.

Oscar looked through the window at Josh and began to think back to what had happened. Maybe it wasn’t true? Maybe Mystique had pretended to be Josh and they’d made him think that they’d killed him just to frighten him? He couldn’t remember there being any kryptonite… How do you kill Superman without any kryptonite?!

Josh tilted his head at him and gave him a sympathetic little smile. “I love you, Oscar…” he said kissing two of his fingers and gently touching the window glass. “I love you” he repeated, as tears began to well up in his eyes, “Baby, please open the door?”

 Oscar nodded slowly and began to shakily drag himself to his feet once more. Wobbling in an even more unsteady way than before, he made his way over to the door and put his hand on the glass.  “I’m scared” he said, leaning against the door and looking out at Josh with fear etched across his face, “What if they hurt me?! …I don’t want them to hurt me, Josh!”

“I know you’re scared, baby, but I won’t let anyone hurt you! Not ever!” promised Josh, shaking his head at him. “I’ll be here with you… I’ll stay with you… Please, Oscar, can you open the door for me?”

“You won’t let them take me away from you?” asked Oscar, shaking and shivering as he looked out the window at him, “You won’t let them?” He glanced around the small storage cupboard in the realisation that he couldn’t stay there forever. He really didn’t feel good, and looking out at Josh now, he knew that he was his only hope. If Superman couldn’t protect him then no-one could!

Josh glanced at Nate before looking back at Oscar. “No, baby, they’ll let me stay with you… No-one’s going to take you away from me.” he said, loudly and deliberately for the benefit of the others who were listening.

Oscar took a big breath and turned the lock to open the door. He fell into Josh’s arms as soon as the door opened, and he put his hands on either side of Josh’s face and began to kiss him a little frantically. “I’ve missed you! I need you!” he said, between kisses, “Please don’t leave me again!” Suddenly his legs went out from under him, and he fell like a dead weight to the floor, dragging Josh with him. Josh sat cradling him in his arms in the doorway of the storage room and was shocked to feel the heat being radiated by his body. He was burning up! Oscar clung to Josh’s arms, and began to cry, curling his body in close to him and shaking violently. He looked up at him with big scared eyes and traced his fingers over the ‘S’ shield on his chest with a little smile.  “I thought I’d lost you!” he said, hugging Josh’s arms around him a little tighter.

“Never!” said Josh, planting a soft little kiss on the top of his head and holding him tight. “I’ll be here, as long as you want me here.” he said, fully aware of how sad that sentiment was. He knew that there was a good chance that Oscar wouldn’t want him there at all when he recovered, but for now he was going to stay with him and hold his hand, and be the boyfriend that he needed in this moment. He saw Nate readying the team to get Oscar up and onto a gurney, and held his hand up to tell them to wait for a moment. He didn’t want him dragged away kicking and screaming. Looking down at Oscar again, and gently stroking the side of his face, he leaned down and gave him a little kiss. “Baby, you know you’re really sick? You know that, right? …The doctors are going to come… and we’re going to take you to get some more tests done… so they can make you better again…”

Oscar’s eyes widened with fear and he began to pull away from him in a panic, “You said you wouldn’t let them!” he began to say, pulling frantically at Josh’s arms and trying to get away from him, “You said…!”

“I’m not going to leave you!” insisted Josh, refusing to loosen his hold on him and pulling him in against his chest. “I won’t let anyone hurt you! I promise, Oscar! But you have to trust me!”

Oscar gave up, panting in exhaustion, and flopping back against him with a heavy sigh. “I’m just so scared!” he said, starting to sob, “I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t!” He turned his head to look up at Josh again, “My head really hurts, Josh! …It really hurts!”

“I know” said Josh, nodding at him sadly and stroking his forehead gently, “That’s why you need to let the doctors help you… They’re going to make you better, okay, baby?”

Oscar nodded and his whole face crumpled as he began to cry again. “Okay” he whispered, shuddering and shaking in fear as he looked down the hallway at Magneto and Mystique. “Okay” he said again in a quiet and whispered voice. He gave a sigh of defeat as his head rolled to one side and he closed his eyes.

“Oh God, Nate!” cried Josh, shaking Oscar as he lay limply in his arms. “I think he’s passed out!”

 

*****

 

“What the hell is he doing here?!” shouted Zac as he peered through the window at Josh getting dressed in surgical scrubs. “Evie?! What is going on?!”

Evie stood holding hands with Andy and gave Zac a very disapproving look. “Can you keep your voice down Zac?! No-one needs you storming in here and shouting your head off!”

“I just want to know why he” yelled Zac, jabbing his finger against the glass of the treatment room, “why he is in there with Oscar?!”

“Because we had no choice, Zac!” shouted Evie, shaking her head in exasperation at him. She ran her fingers through her hair and let out a heavy sigh. “He locked himself in a drugs cupboard… we couldn’t get him out, Zac… Josh was the only one who could get him to unlock the door.” she said, giving Zac a defeated sort of shrug. “Oscar wants him here… He’s the only person that he wants…” she said, wiping at the tears that had started to roll down her cheeks. She turned and walked over to one of the chairs in the hallway, and sat down heavily, putting her head in her hands and starting to cry. “He’s so sick, Zac! You have no idea! We had to do something or he was going to die in that cupboard and… and… Josh was the only one who could make him come out of there!”

Zac stood looking through the glass at Josh with a look of disdain and Josh glanced up for a moment and made eye contact. He held his arms out in a ‘what was I supposed to do?’ sort of way, and turned his attention back to Oscar who was looking up at him from the treatment table in fear.

Turning back to Evie, and letting out a sigh of frustration, he came over and sat down beside her on one of the spare chairs. Leaning forward in his seat and putting his hands on the back of his neck, he blew out a big breath, and began to run things over in his head trying to make sense of things. He glanced sideways and was shocked to see that Evie and Andy were holding hands. He hadn’t noticed before! He looked up at her in surprise and glanced over at Andy. “Okay, someone had better tell me what is going on here!” he snarled at him.

“Uh… me and Evie…” began Andy, glancing at her in a worried sort of way. “Zac, I…” he stammered, blushing a little red.

“It’s none of your business, Zac!” said Evie, giving Andy’s hand a squeeze and looking at Zac with a steely glare. “I’m an adult and I can see whoever I want to… Andy has been really supportive for the last few weeks and…” she said, turning to look at him and giving him a little smile, “…and I think he’s exactly what I need right now.”

Zac looked back and forth between the two of them and began to laugh in an angry and incredulous sort of way. He leaned forward again, and hid his face in his hands, giggling like a maniac. “I give up!” he muttered to himself between giggles, “I just give up!”

Leah appeared around the corner looking very worried. She’d been parking the car but now that she’d arrived it looked as though Zac was crying. “Oh my God!” she exclaimed, looking at Evie and Andy for an explanation, “It’s not?... Oscar… Is he?!”

“He’s in there” said Andy, pointing at the treatment room and shaking his head at her, “Lumbar puncture.”

She looked again at Zac a little quizzically and walked over to kneel beside him. “Zac?” she asked, tentatively putting her hand on Zac’s knee, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

He looked up at her and began to laugh in a strange hysterical manner. “I’m fine, Leah! Why wouldn’t I be?!” he growled at her, getting to his feet and staring in the window of the treatment room again. A curtain had been pulled around the bed so he couldn’t see what was going on anymore. All he knew was that Josh was in there with him, holding his hand, and playing the part of the doting boyfriend again. He turned and looked at the three faces that were all staring at him in concern. “Why should I be upset?!” he asked, putting his hands on the back of his head, and looking skyward in a pleading sort of way, “I mean... life’s just perfect! …Let’s see… My son is a murderer, and an arsonist, who’s probably going to spend the next 20 years in prison! …My mentally incompetent nephew is currently being groomed by his sister’s ex-fiancé… and my nineteen year old niece is shacking up with his ex-crim of a thirty year old brother!”

Leah turned to look at Andy and Evie in shock. “You two?!” she asked in an sceptical sort of way. “But… wait, you two?!” she asked again, shaking her head in confusion, “How… how… how did this happen… I mean…”

“It just did!” said Evie, smiling at Andy and giving him a little kiss on the lips for their benefit. He looked back at her a little uneasily and gave Leah an apologetic shrug of the shoulders.

“Okay” said Leah, taking hold of Zac’s hand. “I’m going to take Zac to get some coffee” she said, nodding at him a little like you would a small child when you want to convince them to do something they don’t want to do. “You can give us a call when they’re finished.” she said, steering Zac down the hallway.

They watched them go and then Andy turned to look at Evie in concern. “Are you doing this just to upset your uncle?” he asked, looking a little hurt.

“No!” she exclaimed, putting her hands on either side of his face and leaning in for a kiss. “No, Andy! I really like you…”

He furrowed his brow at her in a way that said he didn’t believe her. “It just feels a bit like you want to rub their noses in it…”

“That’s just an extra bonus” she said, giving him a mischievous smile and raising her eyebrows at him. “I like you a lot, Andy… I mean it! You’ve been here for me through a lot of tough times… and not just all of this with Oscar…” She pulled his arm around her shoulder and leaned in against him with a little sigh. “I’ve been thinking about that kiss we had before… after I found out about Denny…”

He looked down at her and gave her an embarrassed little smile. “I have too… for a while…”

“I wonder what things would have been like if we’ve just got together then? If I hadn’t got back with Josh?” she said, lifting his hand and giving it a little kiss. “I mean… you know we had a connection… even back then…”

“Yeah… I know” he said, giving a little sigh, “…but I couldn’t have hurt Josh like that.”

“Well…” she said, nodding at the door to the treatment room, “I think it’s pretty clear that I’m not the one that he wants anymore…” She gave a bitter little laugh and added, “I’m missing a certain body part!”

He gave her shoulder a squeeze and looked down at her with a sympathetic little half-smile. “I know you’re really hurt, Evie… but he’s still my brother.”

“I know” she muttered, nodding and staring at the door. “It’s just such a weird situation. I mean… That’s really Oscar in there… He knows that he’s Oscar… He knows that he’s a man now, not me, not a girl… Why does he still want Josh?!”

Andy shook his head and pulled her in a little closer to kiss her on the top of the head. “I don’t know” he said, giving a little sigh, “I just don’t want to see either of them get hurt.”

 

*****

 

Josh sat by Oscar’s bed, holding his hand, and watching him in concern as he shivered and shook. They’d diagnosed him with post-operative bacterial meningitis and were treating him with heavy doses of antibiotics and fluids. Nate had said that the next 24 hours were critical, especially because they’d lost so much time, with Oscar locking himself away like that, and refusing treatment. Zac had wanted to kick Josh out, and had come storming in as soon as Oscar was brought back to his room, grabbing Josh by the front of his shirt and trying to drag him away by force. It was only because Oscar had become so distressed that he’d been allowed to stay. Security had actually had to remove Zac and ban him from the hospital floor for the next few days.

Oscar gave a low moan and shifted uncomfortably in the bed before turning towards Josh and opening his eyes. “W-what are you doing all the w-way over there?” he asked, staring at him with those mad looking eyes. He rolled away to make space for Josh and said, “P-please?! I d-don’t want to sleep on my own! I’m sc-scared, Josh!” He wanted to feel safe more than anything else in the world and he didn’t see what good having Superman sit by his bed was going to do him. He wanted those strong arms wrapped around him. He wanted the ‘man of steel’ in his bed and wrapped around his whole body.

“I’m not allowed to” said Josh, shaking his head at him sadly. “I’m gonna be right here though… I’ll be right here… I’m not going anywhere!”

Oscar began to cry and hugged his arms around himself. “I’m ssso c-cold, Josh! …Please, come sssleep n-next to me?!” His whole body was shaking violently and he didn’t seem to be able to warm up. He looked up at the two IVs that were hooked up to the cannula in the back of his hand. It felt like ice water was being pumped into his veins. His teeth began to chatter quite loudly again and he put his hands to the side of his head and grimaced in pain.

“I know you’re cold, baby” said Josh, tilting his head at him in sympathy. He got up and sat down on the side of the bed, looking down at him with worry written all over his face. “Roll over and I’ll rub your back for you. It’ll help you feel warm.”

Oscar smiled at him a little sadly and rolled over onto his side. Josh began to rub his hands over Oscar’s back trying to heat him up a little but feeling shocked at the heat that his body was giving off. His temperature was clearly still very high.

Oscar rolled back towards him, and caught hold of his wrist, pulling him down towards him. Their lips made contact, and Oscar pulled him down onto the bed beside him, putting his hand on the back of Josh’s neck and pulling him towards him. He ran his hand over the ‘S’ logo on Josh’s chest and looked up at him again with pleading eyes. “I n-need you, Josh!” he begged, “Please j-just lie beside m-me for a little while, just until I fffall asleep?”

Josh looked at his tear-filled eyes and the frightened look on his face and he just couldn’t bring himself to refuse. He glanced at the door to the room and wondered whether anyone would come to check on him anytime soon. Maybe he could just lie with him for half an hour until he fell asleep? He could do that for him, couldn’t he? He’d keep all his clothes on and make sure that nothing else happened. No-one could really blame him for keeping him warm, could they?! He was shivering and shaking so badly now. How could he just leave him here freezing to death like this in the bed when he wanted him to help him so badly? He just couldn’t!

He lay down beside him and they shifted into that all too familiar spooning position that they’d slept in for weeks. Oscar just interlaced their fingers and dragged Josh’s arm around his waist, pulling him in close behind him so that his body was pressed in tight against his own. Josh gave a sad little sigh with the realisation that this was probably the last time that he would get to do this. Nothing in his life had ever felt more natural, or more comfortable. Oscar and he just fit together like two pieces of Lego. He didn’t know what he was going to do when Oscar recovered and he had to give this up. The thought of it just broke his heart. He listened to Oscar’s breathing getting slower, and noticed that his shivering was dying down a little. Once he was sure that Oscar was asleep, he allowed himself to cry. Tears streamed down his face, and his own body began to shake a little, as he silently said goodbye to the man that he loved. In some ways, he imagined that this might be what it was like to say goodbye to someone who was dying. He held him tight and pressed in against him one last time, feeling the rise and fall of his breathing against his own chest. “I love you” he whispered in his ear, closing his eyes for a moment and just enjoying this feeling of closeness that he’d never get to have again. “I love you” he whispered again as tears rolled down his cheeks.

[Ludub]

Thanks to you all for taking the time to write. As always very much appreciated. I hope you enjoy this chapter!  x

WARNING: ADULT THEMES

 

Chapter 15

 

 

37 hours later…

 

Oscar slowly began to open his eyes. His room was very dimly lit with the blinds pulled down and only a small amount of light coming in from the hallway. He couldn’t tell what time of day it was and he couldn’t remember where he was for a moment. He felt like he’d been hit by a freight train. Every muscle ached and his bones felt like they were made of glass. He tried to lift his head but it felt like his brain was sloshing around his skull and even the slightest movement sent a teeth-rattling jolt of pain through his head and down his spinal column. “Meningitis” he thought to himself suddenly. He had a vague memory of people telling him that he had meningitis. He could remember them doing the lumbar puncture and how much it hurt. Meningitis! That would make sense, he thought. At least he hadn’t died! He wondered if it had done him any lasting damage and he began to try to move his hands and feet to understand if he could still feel them.

Suddenly he was aware of a hand, holding his hand, interlacing its fingers with his. He could hear breathing behind him too, and was gradually becoming aware of the fact that his back was abnormally warm. He was lying on his side, and someone was sleeping behind him, spooning with him! He slowly lifted the hand to look at it a little better, and immediately recognised the leather bracelet, and the long graceful fingers. This was Josh’s hand! Josh was in his bed, sleeping with him, and hugging in close behind him. He could feel Josh’s leg tucked in between both of his and Josh’s groin pressed up close against him. Josh’s chest was pressing against his back too and he could actually feel his heart beating and the rise and fall of his chest as he snoozed. His own heart was thumping now as he realised where he was and what was happening.

Memories of the last few months were coming back to him. Flashes of conversations, and interactions, with all the people that he loved came flooding back through his mind. His face began to burn with embarrassment as he remembered the fact that he’d actually thought that he was a woman. He’d truly believed that he was Evie! He could remember looking down and seeing female genitals! He could vividly remember having breasts! The image was still so fresh in his mind and he could genuinely remember what it had felt like to be female! He’d obviously created false sensations to go with the distorted image that his brain had created… How twisted was that?! The thought of it made him feel a little sick. He put his free hand between his legs, just to check, and breathed a sigh of relief when all was as it should be. He ran his hand over his chest as well just to make sure that he didn’t have breasts. This was all so very creepy. He could even remember having his nails painted, and wearing makeup, and getting poor Maddy and Billie to shave his legs for him. Leah had gone as far as getting him women’s underwear and helping him into it! With a shudder of embarrassment, he could remember making Billie take him to the bathroom, and scaring her half to death by coming to his senses for a moment! What on earth had been going on his head to make him believe the things that he did, and why had no-one tried to make him see the truth?! Had they been intent on humiliating him?! He ran his hand gently over the scars on his head, recoiling slightly at the feel of the line of staples, and wondered what on earth they’d done to his poor battered brain over the last few months? How much digging around had they done in there?! Was there even any of the old him left or had they created a new entity that he’d have to get to know gradually?! Was he even him anymore?! How would he ever know the difference?! How could he be sure that anything was real?!

More urgent was the fact that there was a living breathing MAN in his bed right now, tangled up with him, and squashed up against him in the most indecent of ways. He could actually feel Josh’s groin pressing hard against his left buttock! He began to panic, his heartrate rising, and all he wanted to do was escape! He’d never felt more trapped or short of breath. The worst part was that he knew that he was completely to blame, and that Josh was really the victim in all of this. He knew exactly how this had happened. Over the last few months, through a great deal of emotional blackmail and manipulation, he had seduced Josh, and made him fall in love with him. And he’d done it in exactly the same way that a needy and overly clingy woman would! He could remember everything. It was like watching himself in a movie about someone else’s life. He knew that he’d often played the vulnerability card and cried when he didn’t get his way. He’d used Josh’s natural need to protect the people that he cares about against him, and pulled at his heartstrings at every available opportunity. He’d basically stolen Evie’s boyfriend out from under her by being a better ‘Evie’ than she was! He knew that he’d even begged him to get into bed with him again last night. Josh had tried to refuse yet again but he’d made him do it! He felt terrible for the way that he’d used him and wondered again at his weird and twisted mind. What had been going on to make him want to do these things?! His face felt like it was on fire just thinking about some of the things that they’d gotten up to over the last few months, especially since Josh hadn’t always been consenting! One particularly frisky evening floated through his mind, and he felt like he might get sick from the embarrassment. Poor Josh! What on earth had he been doing?! Why had he even wanted to?! He couldn’t help wondering if he was in denial and if maybe it really was what he wanted… He couldn’t deny that his dreams had been incredibly sensuous and he had enjoyed every moment of them. Every single moment! He certainly had a vivid imagination when it came to kinky dreams involving the male anatomy and he couldn’t remember ever dreaming about women in that way… Maybe he really was gay, and it had just taken a knock on the head to free him of his inhibitions? Maybe he really did want to have sex with men? Maybe he really did want to jump in the sack with Josh? Maybe that was why he’d invited him into his bed yet again last night? Maybe that was why he was currently wearing him like a particularly clingy overcoat? Right now though, all he really wanted was to peel himself away and get out of this bed. The feeling of claustrophobia was overwhelming and he just wanted to get away from him as fast as he possibly could. He needed some time to think. He needed to be alone for a while to make sense of things and try to figure out what was going on in this smashed up melon of his. He needed out!

He started to pull away and then the terrible realisation that he was less than mobile hit him like a ton of bricks. He still couldn’t walk very well. His body still wouldn’t do what he wanted it to in a particularly co-ordinated way. Someone had put the side rails up on his side of the bed, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to put them down again by himself. Getting out of the bed past Josh without waking him up was going to be an impossibility. Escape was not an option! He couldn’t have felt more trapped, and it was making him feel panicky. He didn’t really want to have this conversation right now. He didn’t think that he could face it. How was he going to get rid of him without hurting his feelings?!

“Josh!” he called softly, letting go of Josh’s hand and elbowing him gently to wake him up. “Josh, wake up!” he said again, pulling away from him as best he could and turning his head to look over his shoulder at him. The bed was very narrow and rolling over to face him would have meant being much more intimate with him than he really wanted right now. More than he already was!

Josh’s eyes slowly flickered open and he looked at him in concern. “Hey?” he purred softly, giving him a tentative little smile, “How are you feeling?”

“Um… Josh… Would you mind getting out of the bed… please?” he asked, grimacing at him a little and looking decidedly embarrassed. “I really need some space.”

Josh looked at him in a startled sort of way for a moment before the awful realisation of what was really going on began to sink in. “Oh God! …I… I’m… really sorry” he stammered, disentangling his leg from between Oscar’s thighs, and sliding out of the bed as quickly as he possible could.  He backed away across the room as far as he could without actually leaving it, and dithered about whether he should go or not. He stared at the floor, and hugged his arms around himself, blushing bright red and looking thoroughly miserable. “I’m… I’m so sorry, Oscar” he mumbled, in a voice so low it was barely audible, “I’ll understand if you hate me”.

“I don’t hate you…” said Oscar, pulling himself up the bed as best he could and giving him a little half-smile, “I don’t know what I’m feeling right now, Josh. I really don’t, I’m sorry…” That was the truth. He didn’t know how he felt about any of this! He was scared and confused and all he really wanted was for people to leave him alone for a while. He needed Josh to go now, more than anything in the world… Maybe it was cruel to push him away like this, but he knew that he couldn’t cope with having to talk to Josh about had happened. Not when he already felt so confused about everything else! He remembered the drug cupboard, and how frightened he had been, and how much he had wanted Josh there with him in that moment. Now he was just pushing him away like something unwanted! It really felt like he had just chewed him up, and spit him out, and he felt truly terrible for treating him like this.  But he couldn’t help how he felt. He needed some space! “I just really need you to go now, Josh… Please?! I need some time to… I don’t know… get my head around everything? …I need you to leave.”

Josh nodded and glanced up at him for a moment in a shamefaced sort of way. “I never meant…” he began to say, but the words just wouldn’t come. “I… I… I didn’t…” he tried again, but failed. He knew that he was going to start crying so he just turned and walked out of the room. “That’s it!” he thought to himself, “It’s over! …How am I supposed to just go on without him?!”  

 

*****

5 days later…

 

“You’re what?!” exclaimed Andy, looking at him wide-eyed in shock and feeling his heartrate picking up momentum. He really didn’t want him to go.

“I can’t stay here” said Josh, staring at the floor and shrugging his shoulders in a sad sort of way. “Brax said I can stay with him and Ricky for a few weeks until I get sorted.”

“Mate” said Andy, moving a little closer on the couch and putting his hand on his knee, “Please don’t go… You’re the only family I have… I need you here!”

Josh looked up at him suddenly, desperately blinking to stifle his tears, and said, “I can’t stay here, Andy! …I can’t!” He ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep shuddering breath, “I can’t be here now that he’s out of hospital! …I’m dreading when I'll have to see him. I keep looking over my shoulder in case it’s him… I nearly had a panic attack the other day in the restaurant because someone who looked a little bit like him tapped me on the shoulder… What do you think is going to happen when I see him for real?! … When he’s just out there walking around like nothing ever happened?! …I can’t see him every day, walking about, being him… I think about him all the time, Andy… It’s like… it’s like I can’t breathe!” He pulled his feet onto the couch and hugged his arms around his knees. “I need to go away for a while. I need some time to figure myself out… and… and… I don’t know…”

“Mate, maybe it won’t be that bad!” said Andy, tilting his head at him in sympathy. “Just try to think of it like a breakup…”

Josh looked at him sideways and gave him a pained little smile. “I can’t” he said quietly, as tears began to roll down his cheeks, “We didn’t break up… He just ‘woke up’ …And now he hates me!” He wiped at his tears angrily with the sleeve of his hoodie and shook his head in a despairing sort of way. “Brax said I can work in his place for a few weeks… just while I’m looking…” he said, staring at the floor again and biting his bottom lip. “I need to get away from here.”

“Have you told Brax why you’re leaving the Bay? I mean… about Oscar?” asked Andy, genuinely wondering whether Josh was going public about his sexuality yet, and if so, how Brax had reacted.

“No” said Josh, shaking his head and looking a little embarrassed, “I don’t think Brax would be all that understanding, do you?”

Andy shrugged. He wasn’t sure that he’d have branded Brax as homophobic but he didn’t think that he’d be the most open-minded of individuals either. Maybe it was best that Josh kept things to himself for now, at least until he was feeling a bit more self-confident. The last thing that he needed was to be bullied by someone who was supposed to be ‘family’.

Andy sighed and leaned back against the sofa cushions. He began to nod a little sadly, realising that he probably couldn’t convince him to stay when his mind was this made up. He turned to look at him again and gave him a sad half-smile, “I’m really gonna miss you, mate!”

Josh shrugged again and continued to stare at the floor. “You have Evie now” he said in a slightly bitter tone.

Andy gave an exasperated sigh, tucking one leg under him, and turning sideways on the couch to face him. “Mate, is that what this is really about?!”

“No, it’s not about you and Evie” he said, shaking his head and rolling his eyes a little in frustration. “I don’t want Evie anymore… It’s just hard seeing you two together, being all happy and stuff.” He glanced at Andy, looking decidedly guilty and started wiping at his tears again. “I don’t like feeling like that… I want you to be happy… It’s just that I’m miserable… and I can’t feel happy for you …or for Evie…” He shook his head in a despairing sort of way and his eyes filled up with tears again, “I really don’t want to be that person!”

“Me and Evie?” sighed Andy, furrowing his brow and looking a little worried, “I don’t know what she’s doing with me… I don’t know if she even really likes me...” He leaned his head on his hand and slumped down a little in the seat looking a bit depressed. “I think… I think maybe she just wants to feel like she has someone… or maybe it’s about making you jealous… or upsetting Zac... I don't know... I can't see what she'd see in me.”

“I don’t think it's about any of those things...” said Josh, shaking his head at him and smiling sincerely, “I’ve seen the way she looks at you when she doesn’t know anyone’s watching… You’d think you were some sort of superhero!” He gave a sad little laugh and punched Andy lightly in the arm, “She likes you! I'm serious!”

“Okay, this is a little weird!” said Andy, grimacing a little. “Talking about your ex-girlfriend like this…”

“She’s not what I want anymore, Andy…” he said, shaking his head and getting up off the couch. “I’m gay… and I’m in love with a man who might as well be dead.” he said in a sad voice, staring at the floor a little vacantly. He picked his glass up off the coffee table and carried it into the kitchen, setting it in the sink, and then walked back out to the living-room. “If Evie makes you happy, Andy, then you have my blessing… not that you need it.” Picking up a stack of laundry off the dining table, he began to head towards his room. “I’m getting the bus to the city tomorrow afternoon… I’m gonna go pack.”

Andy watched him go and gave a heavy sigh when he heard the door to Josh’s room close. What was he going to do without him?!

 

*****

 

“So… the psychiatrist wasn’t really a psychiatrist?!” asked Oscar, looking puzzled and pouring over a news article on Billie’s tablet. “She was some sicko who liked experimenting on people and filming them without them knowing?” He was shocked, and more than a little angry, that none of his family had thought that this was something that he needed to know. Some pervert of a doctor had been secretly filming him and Josh, and writing some sick and twisted ‘research’ paper called ‘Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation – Blurring The Lines’. The fact that there was actually a criminal investigation showed just how serious the whole thing was and yet none of them had done him the courtesy of putting him in the picture. He felt violated! Billie was the only one who had had the guts to broach the subject with him. He was glad that he’d come to see her!

Billie nodded at him and gave him a sympathetic little half-smile. “That’s a pretty good analysis of it, yeah…” she said, leaning over and scrolling the page down to the embedded video in the article. “Thing is…” she said, patting him gently on the knee in a way that was supposed to be reassuring, “The videos she made? They got leaked …and… well…” she said grimacing a little and tilting her head to one side, “They’re all over social media.”

His eyes widened in horror as he saw what she was pointing at and he looked up at her in shock. “So… so… so everyone… everyone…?” he stammered, looking back and forth between the screen of her tablet and up at her big worried eyes, “So… you’ve all seen… what me and Josh… You’ve all seen it?!”

Billie blushed a little red, and looked down in a decidedly embarrassed way, unable to maintain eye contact. “Uh-huh” she said, biting her bottom lip, “I’m so sorry I watched it, Oscar… I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry.”

He looked at her in a disappointed sort of way and then looked back at the screen in his hands. He hovered for a moment over the play symbol on the screen, his hand shaking a little, and unsure whether he really wanted to watch. He took a deep breath and pressed play. What followed was a video that had been taken with a night-vision camera positioned directly above his hospital bed. He and Josh could clearly be seen lying in a very intimate embrace, and while Josh was seemingly fast asleep, Oscar’s hand was down Josh’s shorts. There was absolutely no mistaking what was going on! He turned and glanced at Billie with a disgusted expression on his face, putting his hand on his forehead, and blowing out a big breath of air slowly. “Why… why would… why would someone want to watch this?!” he asked, shrugging and blushing bright red with embarrassment.

“It was a flash in the pan!” said Billie, putting her arm around his shoulder and giving him a little hug. “Don’t worry about it… People have moved on!”

“Don’t worry about it?!” he exclaimed, looking at her in disdain, “Don’t worry about it?!” He threw the tablet down on the sofa cushion beside him and wiped his hands on the legs of his jeans as though he felt dirty just watching it. “Everyone has seen me… they’ve seen me… Oh my God, Billie! …I basically sexually assaulted Josh! He was asleep and I decided to…” He hid his face in his hands and gave an exasperated groan. “Oh God! I can’t believe I did that! …Poor Josh!”

“I didn’t see him complaining!” said Billie, snorting a little and giving him a playful little punch on the shoulder. “Did you see him go ‘Oh no, Oscar! Please stop! Please don’t fondle my…”

“Billie!” whined Oscar, looking up at her and wrinkling his nose a little at her choice of words, “Don’t say that! Please?! I’m mortified!”

“What?! ‘Fondle’?!” she asked, starting to laugh. “I didn’t know you were so easy to embarrass!” she teased him, with a mischievous little smile.

"Billie, it's assault! You can't go touching people when they're asleep!" he said, looking at her very seriously. He shook his head at himself in disapproval, but seeing the smirk on her face, he rolled his eyes and began to laugh a little nervously. “This is so embarrassing!” he snorted, covering his mouth and picking the tablet up again, “How does something like this even happen?! How am I ever going to face people again?! …Oh my God! What if people like Mr Stewart have seen it?!”

His face was burning bright red now and he could feel the heat creeping up his neck. How was he ever going to live this down?! He went to YouTube and typed his own name into the search window. He gasped when he saw that there were a multitude of videos, some in night-vision tones of murky green, and some in brightly lit daytime colour. There he was in his full face of make-up, done up like some teenage girl, with hairclips and girly pyjamas! There were even a couple of videos of his counselling sessions with the psychiatrist herself. This was a level of humiliation that he wasn’t sure he’d ever recover from. He wondered how Josh was coping with it. At least he had the excuse of a serious life-threatening head injury and an aneurysm to explain his bizarre behaviour. What was Josh’s excuse?!

He clicked on one of the daytime videos, expecting to see more explicit material, and preparing himself for the worst, but what unfolded in front of him was something else entirely. If anything, it was a glimpse into the boring day to day behaviour of any couple who has grown comfortable in each other’s company. It was romantic, in an unexciting kind of way. He couldn’t see why anyone would want to watch this. It was hardly that interesting! He watched as he and Josh lay side by side in the bed together. They were just watching stupid videos on YouTube and talking about silly and trivial things. Josh had his arm around his shoulder, holding his hand, and they were sharing a set of earphones and giggling like a couple of schoolchildren. There was something so comfortable and familiar about the scene in the video, and as he watched himself laughing and cuddling with Josh, he began to feel an overwhelming sadness. He missed Josh! He missed that feeling of safety that he had when Josh was around. He’d been trying to deny it over the last few days, telling himself that the pangs of loneliness were just a symptom of his bruised and damaged mind. He’d even been trying to convince himself that he wasn’t gay. He’d spent the last few days desperately trying to find women attractive. It just wasn’t working. He’d been having ‘those’ sorts of dreams again, but the superheroes were gone now. The only man making an appearance in his dreams now was Josh. He missed him. He couldn’t deny it any longer. The more he looked at the video on this screen, the more he wanted to climb back into that bed and pull Josh’s arms around him again. One thing was clear, more than anything else. They belonged together!

When he thought about everything that they’d been through together in that hospital he began to feel incredibly guilty about the way that he had treated him. He could still picture the expression on his face that day at the hospital. The hurt had been so clear to see. It had been written all over his face! How could he ever make it up to him?! He knew that he would never have made such a good recovery without Josh. God knows, he might not even have survived if Josh hadn’t got him out of that drugs cupboard! Josh had been there with him nearly every step of the way! He’d done so much for him, and cared for him so tenderly, and with so much love. It was Josh that had lain beside him for weeks and weeks when he’d been at his lowest and most vulnerable. It was Josh who had held him in his arms and reassured him when he’d been scared, and he’d been scared a lot! Josh had helped him with his physio and he’d held his hand through the pain and the discomfort. He’d even stayed with him while they’d done the lumbar puncture and talked him through the pain. He couldn’t have done that without him! Josh had been the one constant in the whole scary ordeal and the one person that he could really count on. He thought about the long hours through the night when they’d laid in each other’s arms and talked about all sorts of silly little things, just like in that video. They’d never struggled for conversation and they’d often ended up giggling in each other’s embrace. It had been a closer relationship than anything he’d ever had before. He’d never been that close with Maddy! The more he thought about it, the harder it was to deny – he was in love with Josh!

He turned to look at Billie and gave her an embarrassed little smile. “Billie… I think I need to tell you something.” he said, glancing back at the video again and smiling at Josh’s face on the screen. “I’m gay… and um… I’m… I’m in love with Josh.” There! He’d said it! He’d said out loud to someone else and the world had continued as before. He could do this!

“Uh… okay?!” exclaimed Billie, giving him a slightly worried look. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay, Oscar?” she asked, reaching over and putting her hand on his forehead, “Maybe we should give Zac and Leah a call?”

He rolled his eyes at her and said, “Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like?! Anytime I say something surprising or a bit weird, people will think some of the wiring in my brain has come loose again and I’ll get carted off to the funny farm?!”

“No but… Oscar… It does seem to have come a little out of the blue?!” she said, still looking at him in concern. “One minute you’re watching a video and the next you’re announcing life-changing decisions!”

“It’s not a decision” said Oscar, shaking his head at her and smiling a contented little smile, “It’s a fact… I’m in love with Josh Barrett… and I don’t care who knows.”

“Okay… well, maybe you should tell him then?” she said, sounding like she was humouring a small child but fishing at the same time for her phone in her pocket. She was going to wait until he was distracted and then text Leah. She was worried about him. He did seem to be behaving in a slightly manic way.

“Billie! Please?!” he said, eyeing the phone in suspicion and putting his hand on her knee. “I’m okay… I’m not having a brain bleed… I don’t have meningitis… or anything else wrong with me! I just realised that I’ve been trying to deny my feelings for days now but I’m never going to find someone that makes me feel safer or more loved than the guy in that video… I don’t know what happened… We just… I don’t know… we work.”

“You and Josh ‘work’?” she asked, looking at him in an incredulous way. “Sweetie, do you know who you are?” she asked, furrowing her brow at him and speaking in a slow and careful way as though he was hard of hearing now too.

He gave a heavy sigh and rolled his eyes at her again. “I’m Oscar Maguire… and I’m a man! …And I have all the bits to prove it” he said, laughing a little nervously and gesturing to his crotch. “Until very recently though, I thought I was a woman…My sister, no less! Mind you, I thought I had the, um, ‘other bits’ to prove it then too… How gross is that?!” He gave her an embarrassed little smile and blushed a little before adding, “I even made you take me to the toilet… I do remember that, unfortunately …Sorry, by the way!” He sat back against the cushions on the couch and gave a relieved sort of sigh, “But I’m better now …I know who I am… and I know who I want! …Oh! And I don’t think I’m in the X-Men anymore… which should come as a relief!”

“Okay, okay, Oscar!” she said, laughing a little and smiling at the fact that this sounded a bit more like the old Oscar. At least more than he had for a while. “So… what’s the plan then?!” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him and giving him a mischievous little smile.

“Well, I guess I’d better go track down this man of mine!” said Oscar, lifting his crutches from beside the couch. “Can you drive me over to his house?”

[Ludub]

Thank you soooooo much to KittCatt, Kristen, Red, Pembie, and Jarlie for always taking the time to comment  I really appreciate it. I really hope you like this chapter.

WARNING: ADULT THEMES

 

Chapter 16

 

 

“What?! What do you mean he’s gone?!” exclaimed Oscar, standing in the doorway of Andy and Josh’s house and looking at Andy in horror. “Where’s he gone?!” he asked, glancing over his shoulder at Billie in a worried sort of way.

Andy sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “He left for the city yesterday” he said, shaking his head at Oscar a little sadly. “He’s gone to stay with Brax for a while until he finds a place of his own… He’s not coming back.”

“But…I…” stammered Oscar, glancing around the living-room as though Andy might be lying and Josh was really just hiding behind the sofa.

“You broke his heart, mate.” said Andy, walking away from them and sitting down on the arm of the couch. He had a beer in his hand and there was a carton of beer bottles, and a bottle of whiskey, on the table that hadn’t been drunk yet. He was obviously planning to drown his sorrows in a big way. “He just needed a fresh start…” he said, taking a slug from the bottle of beer in his hand, “So… he’s gone… Just like that!”

“But, Andy, I…” Oscar started to say, dithering in the doorway on his crutches and feeling decidedly panicky. “I need to talk to him, Andy! …I need to see him!”

“You had your chance!” snapped Andy, a little bitterly. He knew that it wasn’t fair for him to be angry with Oscar. He knew that! Given everything that Oscar had been through, and how confusing this whole thing must have been for him, it really wasn’t fair at all. He knew that Oscar was probably even more confused than Josh was, and that was saying something! It was obvious that he shouldn’t be blaming Oscar for how things had turned out. Oscar had had less say in all of this than anyone! In many ways, he’d basically been absent for a large part of this strange and twisted love affair, and many people would have argued that Josh had taken advantage of him when he’d been at his most vulnerable. Still, he couldn’t help how he felt. He resented him for hurting Josh so much, and making him move away. He was angry, in a fairly irrational way, that he hadn’t reciprocated Josh’s feelings. He was angry that he’d broken his poor brother's heart and he wanted him to feel bad for that! More than anything, he wanted him to feel guilty for the fact that he’d lost his little brother because of him!

“I needed… I needed time” stammered Oscar, looking again at Billie in a panicked sort of way. “I need to talk to him, Andy!”

“Can you give us Brax’s address?” asked Billie, putting her hand on Oscar’s shoulder and giving him a reassuring smile. “He needs to speak to Josh… He needs to talk to him right now, Andy!”

Andy set the beer bottle down and turned to look at Oscar with newfound hope. Maybe Josh was going to get his fairytale ending after all?! “Why do you want to talk him?” he asked.

Oscar looked down at the floor and blushed in embarrassment. He still wasn’t used to the idea of saying this out loud and saying it to someone like Andy seemed particularly confronting. “Because… I have feelings… I um…” he mumbled, looking a little lost and glancing at Billie who was now standing beside him..

“Just say it!” said Billie, rubbing his arm in a supportive way. “Just tell him.”

“I’m in love with him.” mumbled Oscar, unable to make eye contact with Andy and feeling incredibly self-conscious. He lifted his gaze for a moment, and looked at Andy a little uneasily, wondering how he was going to react. “I love Josh and I need to tell him that… in person.”

“You’re in love with my little brother?” asked Andy, looking at the floor and nodding slowly. “Like properly in love? Kissing and sleeping together, and making a future …and all that stuff kinda love? …Yeah?” he asked, glancing up at Oscar, and hoping that the answer was yes. He smiled when he saw him give an shamefaced little nod. “Okay then!” he said, smiling from ear from ear. This seemed too good to be true! He felt like all his Christmases had come at once. Josh was going to get to be with the person that he loved! After all this heartache, and weeks of turmoil, it looked like Josh was actually going to get to be happy. He couldn’t have been more pleased. Suddenly, he jumped to his feet, grabbing his coat and his keys, and held his arms out to herd them back out the door. “C’mon!” he said, sounding excited, “I’ll drive you!”

 

*****

 

“Josh!” called Ricky, letting Andy and Oscar into the apartment and motioning for them both to sit down on the couch. “Josh!” she shouted again, peering down the hallway towards the guest room, “Andy’s here to see you!”

Oscar hovered on his crutches just inside the doorway and listened a little anxiously as a door opened and footsteps approached down the hallway.

“What’s Andy doing here?” asked Josh, drying his hair with a towel and holding another one around his waist. He walked into the living-room and froze stock still when he caught sight of Oscar swaying on his crutches near the door.

“Hey” said Oscar, giving him a nervous little smile. “I needed to see you… so Andy drove me down here.”

“Did he?” said Josh, in a cold and flat sort of voice, glancing at Andy in a disapproving way. He was suddenly aware of the fact that everyone was staring at him and waiting to see what would happen. Ricky and Brax couldn’t hide their curiosity and kept glancing back and forth between him and Oscar, having picked up on the obvious tension in the room. Andy was smiling at him in a really strange way and it was making him more than a little uneasy. He looked back at Oscar and his heart felt like it was going to break into a million pieces. He could hardly breathe. What was he doing here?! Had he come to humiliate him in front of Brax and Ricky? Was it revenge that he was looking for?! He didn’t think that he could do this right now. He wasn’t strong enough. He’d run away, to avoid having to see him at home, and he was angry with Andy for bringing him here just to torture him. Why couldn’t people just leave him to wallow in his own misery? He glanced at Oscar, finding it hard to maintain eye contact, and said, “I think you should go.” He turned to leave the room, feeling a rising wave of panic, with his heart racing in his chest and his stomach tying itself in knots. He felt like he was going to be sick!

“Wait, Josh!” called Oscar, making his way towards him on his crutches as quickly as he could, and catching his wrist just before he could leave the room. “Please?!” he pleaded, looking up at him with big scared eyes, “I know I hurt you but can you please just hear me out?!”

Josh glanced at the others in a very embarrassed way, catching the knowing glances and little smirks being exchanged, and then nodded at Oscar to follow him up the hallway. They made their way very slowly towards the guest room that Josh was sleeping in, and Josh nodded for him to sit down on the bed, before pulling on a pair of shorts as quickly as he could. He sat down on the bed beside Oscar, and stared down at the floor, waiting for him to speak. His heart was racing now and he still felt like he was going to vomit at any moment.

“I’m so sorry, Josh” said Oscar, turning towards him and tentatively reaching for his hand. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Josh pulled his hand away and hugged his arms defensively across his chest. He wanted more than anything to let Oscar take his hand, and to pull him into a big hug, but he’d been hurt too many times now and he was scared to let it happen again. What if this was another one of Oscar’s ‘turns’ and he didn’t really know what he was saying or doing? He didn’t think that he could take any more rejection. His heart hurt enough just looking at him.

“I’m sorry I reacted the way that I did… at the hospital.” said Oscar, tilting his head at him apologetically. “I just didn’t know… I couldn’t make sense of what was happening… and I was scared.” He put his hand on Josh’s knee and gave a little sigh of relief when he didn’t pull away from him. “When we woke up in bed together…” continued Oscar, looking at him with a soft little smile. “I was pretty shocked… I mean, I suppose… I kind of knew that it had happened but it wasn’t me that it had happened to… or it was… but it wasn’t…” He ran his other hand gently over his head and gave a heavy sigh. “Sorry, Josh… I know I’m not making any sense! …I guess, everything kind of came back to me that day… all of a sudden… and I could remember doing all these things, but it hadn’t been me who did them… Does that make sense?”

Josh looked at him, furrowing his brow a little as he listened, and then nodded. “So you can remember… you remember what we… um… the things that we…”

Oscar nodded and blushed a little as he looked at Josh with a mischievous little smile. “It’s like watching a movie… It’s like I’m the lead actor in a movie but I don’t remember the movie being filmed… and I can see myself doing things like kissing you and… um…” he said, looking away from him in a decidedly shamefaced way, “…doing ‘other’ stuff.”

“But it wasn’t you?” asked Josh, looking down at the floor in a sad sort of way. He was getting the message loud and clear. Oscar was trying to tell him that he wasn’t the Oscar that he had fallen in love with, and that that person was long gone. It hurt, but he appreciated the fact that Oscar was trying to let him down gently.

“Thing is” said, Oscar giving Josh’s knee a little squeeze and reaching gently across to turn Josh’s face towards him. “That other person?” he said, gazing into Josh’s sad brown eyes, “Their memories are mine now… I can remember every kiss, every time you took me in your arms and held me tight, all the times that we slept together in that bed… I can feel those memories like they’re mine…. and now I have all these feelings that I don’t know what to do with…” He gave Josh a little smile, and leaned towards him, hesitating for a second before their lips made contact.

Josh didn’t respond for a moment, feeling a little shell-shocked, and unsure of what was actually happening. Was Oscar actually saying that he had feelings for him?!

“Honestly, Josh… You lose your mind for a month or two… and you wake up gay… with your sister’s fiancé in bed with you!” he said, laughing a little sarcastically.

Josh shook his head in an incredulous sort of way and blushed a little. “I’m so sorry, Oscar… This must be so weird for you …You must be so confused!”

“This whole thing is so confusing, Josh” he said, giving him another tender little kiss, and then pulling back with a contented smile. “I mean… I basically woke up from a coma two months after I woke up from a coma… If that makes sense?” he said, giving a nervous little laugh. “I’d never really explored my feelings about… my sexuality… before all of this.” he said, shrugging his shoulders a little, “But it’s weird to suddenly realise that you’re gay… I mean, I think I probably always was… or maybe I’m bi? …I dunno… Maybe I should be more freaked out about this but for some reason it doesn’t feel weird…”

Josh unfolded his arms and reached for Oscar’s hand, giving him a little smile. “It’s been a weird few months for me too.” he said, tilting his head at him sympathetically, “If you’d told me a couple of months ago that Evie and I would be broken up, and that I’d be in love with her brother…”

“You’re in love with me?” asked Oscar, biting his bottom lip and looking at him in an excited sort of way.

“Well, yeah” said Josh, blushing bright red and looking at the floor in embarrassment. “I thought that was pretty obvious!”

“I love you too!” blurted Oscar, leaning in for a kiss and caressing the side of Josh’s face. His eyes filled with tears as he pulled away for a moment to look at him again. “I love you so much, Josh! I’ve missed you!” He lifted Josh’s hand and kissed his knuckles in a gentle sort of way. “For days I’ve been trying to convince myself that I’m not in love with you! I’ve been trying to figure out what’s real and what’s not… Separate the Evie version of Oscar from the real me… But… I’ve just been so sad all the time… It’s like there’s this big hole in my heart and no matter what I do, I can’t fill it, and I can’t make the pain go away… and I finally realised that it’s you… You’re the one that I miss… The one I can’t live without.”

Josh looked into the eyes of the man that he loved and his whole body began to shudder as he began to cry. All the pain and tension that he’d been holding in for weeks just came bubbling to the surface and he couldn’t hold it in any longer. He couldn’t really believe that what he was hearing was true. Some part of him was sure that he was dreaming and that he’d wake at any moment to find himself alone in his own bed again. “You’re sure?” he asked, looking at Oscar in wonder, as tears rolled down his cheeks

Oscar gave Josh a tender little smile, reaching out and stroking his hair out of his eyes. “I’m sure…” he nodded.  “I know how I feel about you…” he said, leaning his own forehead against Josh’s, and running his fingers through Josh’s hair. “It just took me a little while to realise it” He pulled away again and looked deep into Josh’s big brown eyes, before giving him another gentle little kiss. “You’re the only thing that I’m sure about!”

 “And you’re sure that you’re feeling okay?” he asked, looking at him in concern and putting his hand on Oscar’s forehead. “I mean… You’ve been really confused and…”

“’Confused’ is one way to put it!” giggled Oscar, shaking his head and rolling his eyes at himself, “I don’t think it gets more messed up than thinking you’re your own twin sister! ...Josh! I actually thought I was Evie… I mean I even had breasts and… all the other… ‘bits’…” He hid his face in his hands and gave an exasperated groan, “I can still feel what that felt like! How messed up is that?!” He looked up at Josh again and gave an embarrassed little laugh. “And then I don’t know what happened!” he continued, “Things got even more messed up! …I actually thought that I was a mutant in the X-Men… and Evie was Mystique! …I thought someone sawed the top of your head off!” He looked at Josh and furrowed his brow a little, “I think it might have been Nate… and I think he was wearing a Magneto helmet…”

Josh gave him a little half-smile, unable to hide his amusement at the image of Nate as Magneto. “And… things look normal now?” asked Josh, in a cautious sort of voice, “You know where you are?”

“Yes, Josh, don’t worry.” nodded Oscar, smiling at him and leaning his head against his shoulder. “I think … I think I’m back to normal now… Well, as normal as I get now…” He ran his hand lightly over his head again and frowned at him a little in an exaggerated way. “I’m not sure what they did in here when they operated…”

Josh snorted a little and couldn’t help smiling. It was nice that he could still have a sense of humour about things and not take himself too seriously. He certainly seemed a lot more like the old Oscar.

Josh glanced nervously at the door, scared that Brax would come in and see them together like this. He wasn’t ready to explain all of this to him and he didn’t want anything to ruin this moment. Oscar was here with him now, safe in his arms, and asking to be with him. What more could he ask for?! Josh put his hand gently under Oscar’s chin and pulled him up towards him, kissing him in a much more urgent and passionate kind of way. “I love you” whispered Josh, between kisses, giggling a little as their hands began to wander.

 “I love you too!” said Oscar, laughing a little nervously as he kissed him hard on the mouth. Oscar pulled away from him for a moment and glanced at the door to the hallway. “Does that door lock?” he whispered to him quietly, raising his eyebrows at him and giving him a mischievous little grin.

 

*****

 

1 year and a half later…

 

“You look very handsome!” said Leah, peering over Zac’s shoulder into the mirror and putting her arms around his waist.

He smiled at her and fixed his tie for the umpteenth time. “This just isn’t the wedding I’d imagined, Leah… It’s not what I would have chosen.” he said, with a sad little sigh as he fixed his shirt collar and checked his cufflinks again. “You look amazing by the way!” he said, turning around and holding her away from him to look at her properly. She had a beautiful blue dress that was very form fitting and he couldn’t help thinking that she looked absolutely stunning.

“Thank you!” she said, pulling in close to him and putting her head against his chest. “They’re happy, Zac! And that’s all that matters… isn’t it?”

“I suppose” he muttered, hugging her a little closer for a moment. “Why did it have to be one of those Barretts though?! You know they’re nothing but trouble.”

“He’s doing his best, Zac… He’s trying.” she said, looking up at him and giving a little smile. “They love each other and that’s all you can really ask for!”

“I know” he said, taking her hand and walking towards the door. “We’d better go down and see how they’re getting on.” They walked downstairs and found the living-room full to the brim with excited looking faces. Zac looked across the room and smiled at Oscar when he saw how well he looked in his suit. He’d come such a long way over the last year. You couldn’t see his scars now that his hair had grown back in and he didn’t even need his cane anymore! He couldn’t help thinking how lucky they’d been to get him back in one piece.

Billie and Maddy were busy fussing around Evie and trying to fix some of the little bobby pins that had come loose in her hair. Everyone looked so excited. He took a deep breath and gave Leah as reassuring a smile as he could muster. He might not have been totally on-board with her choice of groom but he wasn’t going to ruin what was supposed to be a very special day. He would just have to grin and bear it.

“You look beautiful!” he said to Evie, as he saw her look up at him. “He’s a very lucky man!” he said, pulling her into a hug and beaming down at her with pride. He looked into her big blue eyes, sparkling with excitement, and he felt his heart melt. She just looked so happy! Maybe he was being unfair to Andy? He did seem to be trying to turn his life around, and he’d been nothing but loving and supportive to Evie since they’d got together. He’d also been a great support to Josh and Oscar over the last year, and really become a part of the family, despite his misgivings.

 “How are you enjoying your Bridesman duties?” asked Chris, giving Oscar a little wink and a pat on the shoulder.

“I’m not a Bridesman Chris, I told you that!... I’m giving Evie away.” He fixed his tie a little and readjusted the flower pinned to the lapel of his jacket. “Don’t know if I’d do as good a job as you though!” said Oscar, giving him a sarcastic little smile, “I mean, those are some big shoes to fill!”

“Oscar, Oscar, Oscar…” scolded Chris, shaking his head and playing along with the joke, “Don’t be so hard on yourself… we can’t all be Chris Harrington, Bridesman extraordinaire!”  He gave Oscar a mischievous little grin and said, “Although to be honest, I’m a little surprised… I don’t think there’s anyone who could say that they’re more in touch with their feminine side!”

Oscar laughed in a slightly embarrassed way and shook his head, “That’s true! I’m surprised Evie didn’t try to get me to wear one of the bridesmaid dresses! …I think I’d look pretty good in that shade of pink though, wouldn’t I, Maddy?”

Maddy nodded at him enthusiastically and said, “We can still swap if you want? I don’t mind!”

Evie rolled her eyes at both of them, and then smirked at Oscar. “You’d probably love that, wouldn’t you?!” she teased, “But I’m not having my brother upstage me on my wedding day! I’m Evie Maguire, soon to be Barrett… Not you… You man, me woman... Got that?!”

“Got it!” said Oscar, holding his hands up and sticking his tongue out at her. “I wouldn’t dream of stealing your thunder!” He picked up one of the lipsticks off the table and pretended that he was going to put some on, “Although…!” he said in a teasing kind of way.

“Oscar!” whined Evie, playing along with the charade and lunging for the lipstick, “Don’t you dare!”

“Okay! They’re ready for you!” shouted Alf from the front door. “You take your time now, love.  You look absolutely beautiful!” he said, as he watched the girls frantically fixing Evie’s hair one last time and Maddy lifted the train of her dress.

“Thanks Mr Stewart” she said, tearing up a little and giving him a huge white smile. Oscar proudly took her arm and gave her a little wink. “Ready?” he asked…

Andy, Josh, and Ash all turned to watch as the music began to play, and smiled as the bridesmaids led the way in their fuchsia pink dresses. Andy glanced at his brother with the biggest smile on his face, and Josh put his hand on his shoulder, nodding at him supportively. “She’s so beautiful!” said Andy under his breath, as he caught sight of Evie, and he began to shake a little. Josh smiled at him again and shook his head, a little surprised at how nervous and excited Andy was. It was pretty sweet really.

Oscar proudly led his sister across the garden under a canopy of white and pink flowers and down the aisle between two lots of white wooden lawn chairs. He smiled at Andy, and then winked at Josh, before taking his seat on the bride’s side.

Evie looked up at Andy and flashed him a big white smile as her eyes filled up with tears. “I love you” she whispered, as the celebrant stood before them. She glanced at Josh for a moment, without meaning to, and he tilted his head at her and gave her a gentle little smile. She nodded, and looked back at Andy, as he beamed from ear to ear. “I love you too.” he whispered as the celebrant began proceedings.

 

*****

 

“It was such a lovely ceremony!” exclaimed Billie, sitting sideways on Chris’ knee and stroking her hand gently through his hair. “It’s a pity I have to go so soon!” she whined, pouting at him in an exaggerated way. Irene was keeping the baby and she had to go home to feed him soon, but Chris was going to stay on a while longer and enjoy the party. After she and VJ had broken up, and everything had come out about the baby, Irene had really thrown herself into her role as Grandma. Billie loved living with Irene, and since she and Chris had gotten together, it really felt like she had a proper little family. Her little boy even thought of Chris as his daddy!

Chris gave her a sympathetic little smile and kissed her on the forehead. “Give the little man a kiss from his daddy when you get home, okay? And tell him I’ll see him in the morning.”

“Yeah, it was a really nice ceremony!” smiled Josh, sitting with his arm around Oscar and giving a happy little sigh. “I had no idea my brother was so sentimental either… I mean, he actually wrote his own vows!” He looked at Oscar and gave him a sarcastic little smile, “…And they weren’t even song lyrics!”

“Maybe you Barretts are more romantic than you like to pretend?!” sniggered Oscar, jabbing him playfully in the stomach, “Huh, ‘Clark’?!”

“Shhh” whispered Josh, a little mockingly, as he reached out and put his index finger on Oscar’s lips for comic effect, “Don’t call me that in public!”

“Why does he call you Clark?!” giggled Maddy, raising one eyebrow at them in curiosity, “I’m gonna get it out of you eventually, you might as well just tell me!” She reached across and filled both of their wine glasses for them and raised her eyebrows again repeatedly for effect.  “C’mon! I won’t tell anyone else!” she whispered behind her hand a little theatrically.

Oscar and Josh both grinned like a couple of idiots, and shook their heads, looking at each other a little excitedly. They weren't about to tell anyone else about 'Superman'. That was something just for them! Josh whispered in Oscar's ear and then made an excuse to go and look for Andy.

“Is it not weird for you …both of you twins being with a Barrett?” asked Chris, lifting his glass of wine and taking a sip. “I mean… siblings with siblings? And knowing that your boyfriend has slept with your sister?”

“Chris!” scolded Billie, elbowing him in the stomach and shaking her head at him in disapproval. “Sorry, Oscar! Chris didn’t mean to be so insensitive… Did you, Chris?!”

“Ugggh! …Sorry!” coughed Chris, pretending to be more injured than really he was and clutching at his stomach in a very dramatic way, “Chris definitely didn’t mean to be insensitive!”

Billie rolled her eyes at Chris, and then turned back to Oscar, giving him an apologetic little smile.

“It’s okay.” said Oscar, furrowing his brow a little and giving them a little shrug, “It is weird sometimes… but we’ve all come to terms with it, I guess…” He blushed a little at the thought of the dreams that he’d had, starring Andy as Batman, and he was glad that he’d never told anyone else about them. That would have just completed the circle of incest. He couldn’t even tell Josh about it! As far as he was concerned, all his kinky dreams had been about him, and him alone. He couldn’t exactly tell him that he’d been making his way through nearly all the men in Summer Bay, and that just looking at some of them now was enough to make him blush. He glanced across at Chris and couldn’t help picturing him in his costume either! He shook his head at himself, and laughed a little, wondering at how messed up his head had obviously been. “I… uh… I’ll be back in a minute” he said, getting up and going to look for Josh.

“I love you, Mrs Barrett!” said Andy, hugging his arms around Evie’s waist from behind and leaning his head on her shoulder. “You looked so beautiful today!”

“Are you saying I don’t look beautiful every day?!” she asked, turning her face around to look at him with a little pout.

“What?! No! …Evie… I just meant…” he began to protest, but she spun around and put her arms around his neck, giggling and smiling up at him with big sparkly eyes. “I’m just kidding, you big dork!” she said, leaning in for a kiss. He picked her up off the floor and swung her around with her feet dangling.

“Can I take a photo, guys?” asked Matt, with Maddy standing smiling beside him. “C’mon!... Leah won’t forgive me if I don’t take some photos of the happy couple!”

Andy turned with Evie still dangling off the floor and they both grinned into the camera. He set her down and Matt took a few more with them posing in more traditional wedding type poses and then Andy nodded for him to go and annoy someone else. He poured three glasses of bubbly and handed one to Evie and one to Maddy. “Thanks for looking after Evie today!” he said to Maddy as he clinked his glass off hers.

“That’s okay!” said Maddy, giving him a little smile. She set the glass down again and leaned over to push one of Evie’s bobby pins back into place. “If someone had told me two years ago that you’d be marrying Andy…” she said, glancing back and forth between the two of them, “and that Josh and Oscar would be together…”

“You’d have thought they were crazy?” asked Oscar, leading a slightly disheveled looking Josh by the hand. Oscar fixed his own crumpled shirt a little, reaching past Andy for two glasses of champagne, and handing one to Josh with a cheeky little smirk on his face. “To be fair, I think we all would have thought that!”

“I just had a thought!” laughed Maddy, looking around at the little circle of friends. She glanced from face to face, biting her lower lip in amusement. Evie, Andy, Josh and Oscar all looked back at her a little expectantly as she covered her own mouth in amusement. She began to laugh, snorting a little, and shaking as she tried not to laugh. They glanced at each other in a bewildered sort of way, wondering what on earth was so funny, and waiting a little impatiently for her to spit it out. She pointed at Andy and finally blurted it out. “Andy’s the only one here that hasn’t slept with Josh!”

There was a stunned silence for a moment as they looked around the faces in the circle, and then Maddy added, “Unless you guys want to tell us something!”

Andy and Josh shook their heads at each other, as the others started laughing, but within a few moments they were laughing too. “No, Maddy… We’re weird… but we’re not that weird” said Josh.

Oscar reached out and took Josh by the hand, leading him away again, and sitting down in his lap out of sight of the others. “I love you, Josh” he said, fishing in his pocket and pulling out a little box. He handed it to Josh with a soft little smile on his lips and waited for him to open it.

Josh let out a little gasp and looked up at Oscar in shock. “Is this… Is this what I think it is?” he asked, starting to giggle in excitement. “We’re really gonna do it?!”

Oscar nodded, and leaned in to kiss him softly on the lips, running his fingers through his hair. “Are you excited?!” he asked, pulling away from him for a moment to see what his reaction was, and putting his arms around his neck.

Josh began to smile from ear to ear and lifted the keyring out of the box. “When?” he asked, biting his bottom lip and looking up at him with eyes shining like stars.

“In two weeks!” he said, giggling a little, “It’s all sorted! I used some of the compensation money to pay for it.”

“What’s all sorted?!” asked Evie, standing with her hands on her hips and glancing at the keyring still dangling in Josh’s hand. “What’s that?” she asked, looking at it with eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Josh looked at Oscar with a huge smile on his face, and then turned back to Evie. “It’s um… It’s a Volkswagen camper van” he said, giving Oscar a tender little kiss on the cheek. “Me and Oscar… We’re going travelling in Europe for a few months… maybe longer!”

 

THE END 

 

 

 

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