christine king Posted May 1, 2017 Report Posted May 1, 2017 Oh god, Brax and a gun? **** this isn't good and Heath's Jacket, Is Heath dead? 1 Quote
Ludub Posted May 3, 2017 Report Posted May 3, 2017 (edited) On 2017-4-30 at 8:23 AM, Kristen said: Feel sorry for Kyle and Josh. On 2017-4-30 at 8:34 AM, Red Ranger 1 said: Oh boy, things are not going well.Kyle and Josh are having to do something they really don't want to, Yeah the boys are in quite the pickle... and just when you thought it couldn't get much worse! On 2017-5-1 at 1:58 AM, pembie said: Oh I don't like Dimitri at all. Is he one of your favourite characters? hopefully he is Yeah, I kinda miss the cute and cuddly version of Dimitri. It feels like such a betrayal, especially now that he's bullying the boys like this. He's quite ruthless when it comes to getting what he wants. On 2017-5-1 at 1:58 AM, pembie said: Oh dear me someone esle is WEARING HEATH'S LEATHER JACKET!!!!!!!!!!! Where has he gone? On 2017-4-30 at 8:34 AM, Red Ranger 1 said: Brax and Heath are very much in the swanny. On 2017-4-30 at 10:20 AM, ~JarlieFanEver~ said: Oh dear! Can't believe the mess Brax got himself into! Things have gone tits up pretty quickly really. You'll have to wait and see where Heath has ended up. On 2017-5-1 at 3:38 AM, christine king said: Oh god, Brax and a gun? **** this isn't good Haha! True! It never ends well, does it?! On 2017-5-1 at 1:58 AM, pembie said: I guess Brax now has no other choice now but to sit and eat chicken wings while he ponders on what his next move will be. It was thoughtful of Smithy to order some food. Especially if they're gonna be waiting a while. Not sure I'd have that much of an appetite if I had a gun aimed at me though. Thanks everyone for reading! I'll try to get the next chapter up tonight (tomorrow morning in Australia) Edited May 3, 2017 by Ludub 1 Quote
Suzza101 Posted May 3, 2017 Author Report Posted May 3, 2017 (edited) Great chapter, poor Kyle and Josh things don't get any easier for them. Sounds like both the older Braxton brothers have gotten themselves in danger to try and save their little brother and Josh. It's quite sad that through all these people there's no one just willing to help. I hope things improve soon. Can't wait to read more, please update soon. Edited June 19, 2017 by Suzza101 1 Quote
Ludub Posted May 3, 2017 Report Posted May 3, 2017 28 minutes ago, Suzza101 said: It's quite sad that through all these people there's no one just willing to help Thanks Suzza! Really glad you're enjoying it! I guess I am painting a rather bleak picture here. The world that Josh and Kyle inhabit is a harsh and cruel place. Very cruel! And it's full of truly terrible people. I really hope that prisons aren't as bad as I'm making this one out to be, but I'm not sure that it's actually that far fetched either (sadly). You won't have too long to wait for the next chapter. Should be up in a few hours Quote
Guest Posted May 3, 2017 Report Posted May 3, 2017 Great chapter Oh no poor Heath if Ash isn't careful he might get himself into serious trouble. Feel for Kyle and Josh still you really know how to give them a hard time. Oh dear Smithy is up to no good. Update again soon Quote
pembie Posted May 4, 2017 Report Posted May 4, 2017 (edited) Doris sure is a little beauty isn't she? What a hot mama Moustache. little piggy eyes and thinning hair, oh and the way she tucks into her food sigh I'm in love Favourite character alert Well you did say action packed and you wrote that fight scene great I'm very surprised Jae's still alive sounded like Kyle turned his face into nothing more than messy mush. I did find the scene with Ash funny with him talking into his microphone, and I couldn't help but think of him over acting when he was going into his full on fit of rage with Agent Lee. Heath's down in the boiler room is that so you can make him all hot and sweaty? And looking like his rubbed himself down with baby oil for a later fight scene? Very good chapter Edited May 4, 2017 by pembie 1 Quote
Inactive User Posted May 4, 2017 Report Posted May 4, 2017 Great chapter Oh dear! Hoping Ash better be careful Felt for Kyle and Josh in this chapter Update soon please xx 1 Quote
Red Ranger 1 Posted May 4, 2017 Report Posted May 4, 2017 Ash's fumbling with the microphone was funny and Agent Lee's a cool customer.Kyle managed to get some payback, time will tell whether it's a good thing.So, looks like Smithy got the drugs from the Braxtons, I'm really hoping someone somewhere has a trap set for him. 1 Quote
Ludub Posted May 4, 2017 Report Posted May 4, 2017 (edited) 5 hours ago, pembie said: Doris sure is a little beauty isn't she? What a hot mama Moustache. little piggy eyes and thinning hair, oh and the way she tucks into her food sigh I'm in love Favourite character alert Haha! There's that odd taste in women again She is a little stunner, isn't she? 1 hour ago, Red Ranger 1 said: Ash's fumbling with the microphone was funny 5 hours ago, pembie said: did find the scene with Ash funny with him talking into his microphone, and I couldn't help but think of him over acting when he was going into his full on fit of rage with Agent Lee. I was trying to be as true to character as possible here I can just see him shouting and pointing (and practically beating his chest)! As the techie guy said to himself, Ash really isn't the brightest! 1 hour ago, Red Ranger 1 said: Kyle managed to get some payback, time will tell whether it's a good thing. 4 hours ago, ~JarlieFanEver~ said: Felt for Kyle and Josh in this chapter 7 hours ago, Kristen said: Feel for Kyle and Josh still you really know how to give them a hard time. I think there's only so far you could push Kyle. He'd lose it eventually, and I think he'd get the upper hand in the fight simply because he'd be fuelled by pure rage. Imagine having to sit down with your rapists for dinner 5 hours ago, pembie said: Well you did say action packed and you wrote that fight scene great I'm very surprised Jae's still alive sounded like Kyle turned his face into nothing more than messy mush. Aw thanks! I wasn't sure how well I'd explained that. Fight scenes are surprisingly hard to write. Never done one before. 5 hours ago, pembie said: Heath's down in the boiler room is that so you can make him all hot and sweaty? And looking like his rubbed himself down with baby oil for a later fight scene? Is that a request?! Sounds like that's something you'd quite like to see? Who said anything about baby oil?! ...Have I tapped into some sort of Heath based fantasy of yours? Hahaha! 1 hour ago, Red Ranger 1 said: I'm really hoping someone somewhere has a trap set for him. You just have to wait and see! Thanks for all the lovely comments folks, really glad you're enjoying it! Edited May 4, 2017 by Ludub Quote
pembie Posted May 4, 2017 Report Posted May 4, 2017 4 hours ago, Ludub said: Haha! There's that odd taste in women again She is a little stunner, isn't she? Is that a request?! Sounds like that's something you'd quite like to see? Who said anything about baby oil?! ...Have I tapped into some sort of Heath based fantasy of yours? Hahaha! I don't quite know how to answer this I'm speechless for once.. But it was very late at night when I read the chapter I must have been high on caffeine teach me not to drink coffee before bed haha 1 Quote
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